Your King Says Alcohol and Tobacco Are Bad For You

Yes, you heard it here from your friend in delivering the latest news featuring moronica to you. If you ever plan to become a director of the Rochester International Airport in NY State, and keeping the job, you need to stay away from these things as they are very bad for you.
About a year ago Dave Damelio was the director of this airport and he loved his cigars. Boy did he love his cigars. He loved them so much that he racked up $17,000 worth of cigar purchases on Monroe County's dime. This idiot figured that the County's credit card was his own and racked up a lot of his personal spending on the thing. Cigars were the number one item followed by strip clubs and the like...all in the purpose of entertaining clients he said. Actually it was all about entertaining himself. What a moron. See kids, you need to stay away from tobacco!!!
Susan Walsh replaced Mr. Damelio as the Airport's director soon after this scandal unfolded. Well, in continuing the trend of morons being selected by Maggie Brooks to run our Airport Ms. Walsh, a couple of weeks ago, was arrested for misdemeanor DWI. She may have been fine with it except her moronic tendencies shined brightly through. First, Ms. Walsh was driving a County vehicle while drunk. Second, she board checked another vehicle while in the County car while driving drunk. Third, she asked for "help" from the arresting officer after her accident in the county vehicle while driving drunk. Any imbecile knows what kind of 'help' Ms. Walsh was asking for. There has been no information released about her whereabouts from 1:00 pm until her arrest. Supposedly she was at the Airport Christmas party but where she went after that nobody knows. She ended up resigning from her post only a couple of days ago. What a moron!!! See kids, you need to stay away from alcohol.
Does it have to say on the resumes, that are submitted to the person in charge of hiring these people for the position of Airport Director, that you are a moron? Obviously whomever reviewed the resumes skipped over that paragraph. Being a moron must be a key asset to have in order to become the Airport Director. I am the King of Moronica so you would think that I should be a natural to be hired for this position but I lack the basic trait that is seemingly required for this job - Stupidity.
Unless, of course, it is the job itself that drives you to become a moron. There are jobs that do that. Barack Obama was thought to be a very intelligent man before becoming President. Now over half the country thinks he has become a moron. It must be the job.
So in conclusion kids stay away from tobacco and alcohol!!! Unless, of course, you want to become Director of the Rochester International Airport.

Breakfast For All???

While surfing through the internet today I happened onto the website of Dean Greco. Dean is a 28 year old middle school teacher in New Jersey. This past November he ran for Congress in the 7th District of that state. His party is "The All-Day Breakfast Party". This party's main plank is to promote breakfast as the most important meal of the day. Dean managed to gather 3,259 votes in his bid for election. I applaud his efforts to try to get into Congress though I find his party and its main plank a bit....moronic. Being that it is my job to report on moronica in any form that it may show up I have to give this gentleman a little blurb. He reminds me of Jimmy McMillan who tried to run for governor of the state of New York for the "Rent is Too Damn High Party". Jimmy actually got a rather high number of votes for his fringe party. I cannot remember the exact number though 12,000 rings a bell.
But getting back to our friend Dean. As I stated I find his party a bit moronic but I believe in his right to run for elected office. Maybe the guy is right. Maybe breakfast should be a more important part of your day than it is for most of us. I know what I have in the morning is very ridiculous and moronic, ok if you must know it is usually a pop tart and a coke. Not the healthiest of breakfasts as I usually get laughed at by whoever walks by my cube when I am munching it down. Maybe if I did have a good breakfast I would be better off at work during the day and a more pleasant bloke to deal with. Probably not but who knows.
Once in a while I see the other groups in the office order that disease called 'Breakfast Pizza'. I prefer to call it 'Heart attack on a crust" as you can see the cholesterol just dripping off it when you grab a piece. It looks good and tastes good, that is if it is the bacon type, so you know that it is not good for you. Isn't that typically the case for any food? Once in a blue moon on a weekend I will cook up bacon, eggs and a few slices of toast for a breakfast but, for my arteries sake, I try to limit it to once a month. Before I golf I will usually have a bowl of cereal to give me some energy but I still get my ass kicked. Generally I wait until lunch and combine the two. Okay, I get the sense that I am boring the crap out of my readership so I will end this nonsense about my eating habits.
Again I say bully for Dean Greco. Maybe someone has decided to start his or her day off with a healthier breakfast thanks to him. 3,259 people thought he was right. Maybe I should run for Congress for the "Make King Crab Cheaper Party" this coming November. Please send your donations to King Dinglefritz c/o Moronica CFO, Moronica, NY 0U812 if you consider this an important issue. No donation is too small. Thank you and good night.

Moronica Running Rampant!!!

Your King's job is to report on moronic things when they occur. Well today takes the cake when it comes to morons. Dean Spanos, owner of the San Diego Chargers decided to keep the worst coach in the league as his head coach. Norv Turner make Mr. Mind, Dick Jauron, look like a total genius. How can a team that has so much talent not make the playoffs two years in a row?? I can see keeping the GM as he has built a decent team but Norv Turner has not won at all during his coaching tour of the NFL. He sucked in Washington. He sucked in Oakland and now he has taken a team that was 14-2 under Marty Schottenheimer and turned them into an underachieving, inconsistent mess. But somehow Dean Spanos must have taken a big gulp of the Norv Turner kool-aid and is blinded to the fact that everyone is laughing at him. The team's fans must be in an uproar over this. Is Mr. Spanos trying to drive away the fan base so he can move the team to Los Angeles?? That sounds logical to me. I guess 8-8 seasons must excite Mr. Spanos to the extent that he has become a moron in keeping this loser. Schottenheimer may not have been Mr. Excitement but he won...a lot. His trouble was getting to the big game as he was too conservative with his play calling in the playoffs when a little inspiration and daring could have made the difference. Norv can't even get this talent laden team to the playoffs. What is it about Norv that keeps him as the coach of San Diego? Does he know where Dean Spanos has buried a few bodies? Does he have some incriminating sexual pictures of the owner that he is keeping for blackmail??  I guess only the Shadow knows for sure here.
The Sabres are playing the Edmonton Oilers tonight in Buffalo but the game is not on the tube. That is because the two babies, Time Warner (TW) and Madison Square Garden Network (MSG) have both taken their toys and gone home leaving us all Sabreless. While the Sabres may stink and their offense is about as exciting to watch as paint dry they are still the team of Moronica. What is needed here is to have a Federal Mediator come in, hear both sides of the argument and decide a fair and equitable deal for both of them. This childishness between both parties must cease. Both TW and MSG need a good spanking by their mothers and told that they must play together or they won't play at all. I just had a good chuckle while typing this crap out. They had a commercial for TW on the tube with the catchphrase "Won't miss your favorite shows ever!". What a crock of shazitt!!! I am missing the Sabres so that catchphrase is a bunch of bullshazitt!!! Can we sue over that out and out lie?? Repoman, can you answer that? Oh well, the longer TW and MSG feud the more the fan base of the teams that MSG carries will fade away. As far as I know only Directv carries MSG right now. The advertisers on MSG must be drooling over that market share that their advertising dollars are being used for now.
Beau Bridges for President. Yes, you heard it here. It seems that whenever a movie that features an earthquake destroying a significant chunck of America is being cast they get Beau Bridges to be the president. Even though half the country gets destroyed in these movies we always seem to move on. Considering the disastrous condition the country is in it is time to get Beau in there to right the ship. He always seems to make the right decisions that prevent the disaster from becoming an out and out calamity. So, before the nation becomes a calamity, we need to get Beau Bridges elected as our leader. Remember to get out and vote for Beau. Vote early and vote often!!!!
Okay, enough moronica for tonight. Have a nice evening!!

Buffalo Bills Makes King ill

It was starting to snow outside, but it has since stopped for the time being, so I decided to do my year end rant on the Buffalo Bills. I take pride in the fact that I did not drink the kool-aid when the Bills were 5-2 and think that the Bills actually had a chance to make the playoffs. I figured 8-8 would be a good result for them for the year but they disappointed. The Bill's last game against the Patriots was a perfect microcosm of their season - fast start with an absolutely dreadful finish. Even when the Bills went up 21-0 I figured that the Pats would still win this game, though I thought the Bills would score a few more times. This game is the second game of the year that I believe wide receiver Stevie Johnson cost the Bills an opportunity to win. The idiot caught a touchdown pass and decided to let the world see what he wrote on his tee shirt. He got flagged for it and Coach Gailey, who had issued a prior warning against such crap, benched him and rightly so. I applaud Gailey for standing for his principles and sitting him. Gailey is a class act, Johnson is not. Hell, Johnson even blew off a scheduled appearance at a car dealership here in Rochester but Fred Jackson was the man and more than made up for his teammate's lack of responsibility.
Stevie Johnson thinks he is the perfect combination of Larry Fitzgerald and Terrell Owens wrapped into one. HAH!!!  Johnson is a third rate receiver who would be the number three guy on any other team in the league. His contract is now up and I hope he takes his antics, immaturity and perfectly timed costly drops to another sap of a team. Even T.O., during his stint with the Bills, did not do the crap that this guy does. This guy wants top receiver money in his next contract and boy will he be in for a surprise when he hits the market, but then again I could be wrong as the Toronto Maples Leafs gave ten million dollars for two years to Sabre reject 'Tiny' Tim Connolly.
I have to admit that I was a bit in shock when the Bills went up 21-0 but I knew, even then, that it would not last so I did not get too excited. Buffalo actually continued to move the ball rather well the rest of the game but Ryan 'Grizzly Adams' Fitzpatrick returned to his Santa Claus self and gave lots of presents to a pitiful Patriot secondary. The Bills also continued to make that one silly mistake in each drive afterwards that just killed them. Either it was a gift interception or something even more stupid like a bad snap from center in the shotgun. Even when the Bills had the Pats backed into a corner on third and long they gave the Pats a few first downs via the dreaded yellow flag and you know what always happens after that....Patriot Touchdown!!
The Bills need a few more studs on defense as there does seem to be some hope for them in the future on that side of the ball. A new Defensive Coordinator would a nice start. So would a quality pass rushing stud or two to rattle the opponents QBs. They also need more weapons on offense as that does not help Grizzly when they cannot get open or get deep. The offensive line looks good when healthy and Spiller is looking better and better but they do not give him the ball enough. There are some quality wide receivers that are going to become free agents and the Bills had better sign one. Chandler is a fair tight end, Gronkowski he ain't though, but their is nothing but garbage behind him.
The Bills finished the season 6-10. The pundits had the over-under for wins this season at 5.5 so the Bills bettered that. They gave the fans hope early on and were actually quite fun to watch but, in typical Bills fashion, ripped their fans hearts out during the last nine games. If they have a great draft and sign a few key free agents they might, and I do say might with tongue firmly in cheek, make a battle for the last wildcard spot next year. Hey, If Cincinnati can make the playoffs this year after what they went through last off season anything can happen.
In conclusion your King says the following: Stevie Johnson must go. The Beard must go and never return. The current defensive coordinator must go. I am sorry but the two biggest boo-boo boys on the team, Demetrious Bell and Terrence McGee, should not be brought back. Fred Jackson given the extension that he deserves. Get Ralph to spend some cash since he cannot take it with him and make Buffalo a place where good players want to come and stay at. There is no reason why Buffalo cannot be 'Green Bay' east. If you put out a good product the fans will come but the product the last decade has been very stinky, even worse than Limburger cheese. Your King pleads with Ralph and Buddy Nix to do the needful and make the Bills a team to be reckoned with again. So let it be written, so let it be done.

King Rants on MSG

No, I am not talking about the crap that they put into Chinese food but the Madison Square Garden Network (MSG) that we watch on cable TV. It seems that MSG and Time Warner (TW) are at odds over what TW will pay MSG for programming. From what I gather there was a deal but MSG backed out because TW would not add MSG's rotten FUSE network to their lineup. Now MSG wants even more scratch from TW. At 12:00 a.m. tonight MSG gets blacked out which means that I lose my Sabres. You might think that I would be very upset over this but, after watching the Sabres play lately, I consider this an act of mercy by the MSG network to all of mankind.
The Sabres lost to Ottawa tonight in a shootout 3-2 but Ottawa could, and should, have won the game 9-2 as they hit the goalpost six times and the crossbar once. This means that they beat Sabre goalie Jhonas Enroth a total of nine times yet they only scored twice. Watching the Sabres play in the offensive zone has been very offensive lately. Their passing is pathetic as it seems the passes are always behind their teammates or in their teammate's skates so they waste valuable time getting control of the puck. And that is when they pass to their own team mates. When their passes are on the tape it is usually to one of the opponents who then skate off on a break. I won't miss that. Mindy Ruff has to go!!
Back to MSG, I actually wonder what the companies that advertise on MSG are going to think when a huge chunk of MSG's audience gets blacked out. They are not going to want to pay the advertising rates that MSG charges for a normal audience. But that does not seem to stop these networks from trying to suck every last dime out of us since if TW has to pay more who gets stuck with the bill? It is we the viewers.
I am getting sick of these constant blackout threats from these networks. Earlier in the year it was the ESPN family of networks that were going to get blacked out on TW but, in the end, a deal was hammered out keeping ESPN on the air.
When I had DirecTV the Versus Network got blacked out for a few months but then it returned in time for the NHL playoffs. Times are hard and it is getting to the point where the cost of getting cable or satellite TV is going to be prohibitive. Right now I have a two year deal with TW that holds my costs but when that expires next June I can't wait to see what happens to my bill. I cannot threaten to go back to satellite TV as Moronica is heavily forested and the one line of sight I had to the satellites has now been blocked by the ever growing trees. It would suck if I had to make a decision to get rid of cable because your King likes his tube. I enjoy the Science and Discovery networks on cable and watch them a lot to try to broaden my feeble mind. Oh well, maybe I can cut back on what I eat. Maybe I can make more Hamburger Helper without the hamburger. Boy does that sound tasty, doesn't it? My dad used to make spaghetti and he would put a little butter on it and eat it. Maybe that will be back on my menu more often but I digress. MSG and TW should get a deal done ASAP. All their sniping does is piss off the consumers, namely us. I am sick of seeing MSG's commercials telling us to switch to satellite. What happens when MSG and the satellite companies start sniping with each other?? As you can see it is just a stupid, vicious cycle and it makes your King very upset. I can live without watching the Sabres on TV and MSG had better understand that if we stop having access to their programming they may not get their audience back when they finally do come to terms. I wish I could tell both MSG and TW to take a hike.
Well, I have groused about this subject enough and it riles me up the more I think about it so I will now end this rant by wishing all of my valued readers a very pleasant evening. Good night!

Mumblings from Moronica

1) North Korea has a new leader by the name of Kim Jong Un. Looking at this guys picture he looks like a fat little toad. With the starvation that is rampant in that country this guy certainly has not been away from the dinner table. The North Koreans call this guy the "Supreme Leader". I call this guy 'Toady'. The reins of the world's most erratic country are now in the hands of this guy. I wonder what is up Toady's sleeve to spring upon the world.
2) The Bills managed to beat Denver last Sunday. I would have bet the ranch that Denver would have run roughshod over the Bills with their vaunted running game but, as always, I was wrong. The Bills actually showed life and played a good game. Too bad it was blacked out. Only a moron would schedule a game in Buffalo at the end of December, let alone on Christmas Eve, once again proving that the NFL hates the Bills and will do whatever they can to screw this franchise more than it screws itself.
3) The Iowa caucuses are coming up and the Seven Stooges are campaigning hot and heavy to get that boost to their campaign. The best of the bunch is Jon Huntsman but he does not stand a chance to get elected. The best of the rest, in my eyes, is Mitt Romney. The rest of them are so far to the right, except maybe for consumate Washington insider Newt Gingrinch, that they really are unelectable. Gingrinch, and yes I deliberately spelled it wrong, is unelectable in his own special way. For one thing he got paid over 1.5 million dollars from FNMA and Freddie Mac for some obscure reason, and from the state of those two entities, he did a rotten job.
4) Once again the boobs in Iran are doing their best to get the world pissed off at them. I can only imagine what the world would do if they attempted to close of the Strait of Hormuz and cut off the supply of oil. First of all the Strait is recognized as international waters and closing them would be considered to be an act of war. Personally, if they went in that direction, I would make a deal with the Russians and the Chinese. The three of us would go into and clean up that wacko regime and put in a more world friendly, note that I said world, regime. They are almost as wacked out as the North Korean regime and maybe even a tad more dangerous in the long run. The world would be better off without the Iranian Theocracy that runs that country. The good Iranian people did not deserve the Shah and they do not deserve the current batch of loonies in charge.
5) Nothing will make your King happier than seeing the New York Jets, along with their loudmouth bag of wind coach, miss the playoffs. I would much rather see any other team make it in, personally I would like to see the Bengals make it, and the Jets going home. That would put a smile on my face. Marv Lewis has worked wonders with that team this season and should get consideration for 'Coach of the Year'.
Well, that is enough of my nonsense for this evening. I wish you all a pleasant evening.

King Finds Note

After reading the comment left by Santa on my last blog I looked around my tree for the note that he said that he left. Well I found it buried in the middle of the tree. No wonder I did not see it. Here is what the note said:
"Merry Christmas Dingle!! To make my job a bit easier I put you on my delayed gift list since what I am giving you will not be needed by you until spring. Being a good friend I knew that you would understand. I am getting old and whatever I can do to make things a bit easier during my work night will help. I will be making another flight to all those on the delayed list on February 29th so feel free to leave your tree up until then. Thank you for your patience and understanding. Ho, ho ho, Santa"
Well, as everyone who knows me will attest, patience is not one of my strong suits, though I have been getting better lately. But I guess I can wait until the 29th of February for my goodies. I hope that they will be worth waiting for and not more cans of nuts. But knowing my luck I will get more nuts and a copy of "Trannys with Knives". OMG!!

Santa Stiffs Your King!!

Well, I woke up this morning hoping to find a few nice goodies under my tree but nooooo. From the expanse of empty space under my tree it looks like someone pretty much forgot your King. I knew that 2011 was a very bad year for the Kingdom of Moronica but this confirms it. I did get a couple of things though. Santa left me two cans of nuts. NUTS?!?! Is Santa trying to tell me something or what? He also left me the crappy sci-fi movie called 'Congo'. CONGO??? What in hell did I do to deserve that??? I am a good and benevolent king. I try to do the best for my kingdom and what do I get? Nuts and 'Congo'. I really thought Santa was my good friend. We always have a good chat when we speak to each other on the blower(phone for you non-Brits) but to get just salted nuts and 'Congo' leaves me flabbergasted. 'Congo'? Is Santa trying to tell me that I look like an ape? Well, way back in the old days when I was a semi-athlete and played soccer, my friends said I looked like a big gorilla so they stuck me in goal but that was many years ago. Nuts? I like salted nuts but I can go to the store and buy them myself. I really did not expect to get nuts on Christmas. Obviously my wish list got lost by the U.S. Postal Service when I sent it in. No wonder they are in such dire straights but I digress. I should give Santa a call and say 'what the hey?' but he only just finished his big job and should be now getting ready to leave for his month long trip to the Bahamas so I will be nice and not bother him. Knowing my luck, if I do call the big guy, he will get ticked off and not even leave me nuts next year. So, I guess, I will just suck it up and eat my nuts while watching 'Congo'.
So, even with the stiffing I got last night, I still want to wish all of my royal subjects and friends a very Merry Christmas. I hope you all got what you wanted and then some. Enjoy!!

Merry Christmas from the King of Moronica

I want to wish all of my loyal readers and subjects a very Merry Christmas. It was a tough year in Moronica but Christmas is the time of year to put crappola on the back burner and be positive about life. So please have a safe and Merry Christmas. So says King Dinglefritz I, Ruler of Moronica.

King Receives Thanks for Vital Warning

A couple of my valued readers spoke with your King regarding my vital warning in yesterday's post. Thanks to my warning their brains will not be rotted by, what possibly may be, the worst sci fi movie since 'Plan Nine From Outer Space". Actually Ed Wood's movie is much better than the SyFy tripe that I warned about yesterday.  It is obvious that the script was written by a fourth grader for his english project and he/she received a failing grade for it.
I am still trying to figure out why SyFy can justify putting out mindless crap like that for their big Saturday Night movie. Even Mr. Hankey smells better than 'Earth's Final Hours'. It is a shame that I had to take one for the team and watched this crap so I could deliver my warning.
Oh well, It is time for a Mr. Hankey Christmas on the Comedy Channel so I will finish this little post for tonight. If I happen to catch another movie that is totally unwatchable and moronic I will do my bit and warn you all, my valued readers. Have a pleasant evening.

Your King Delivers a Vital Warning!!!

This past Saturday I happened unto what is probably one of the most moronic movies that I have ever seen in my life and I have seen plenty of them. I missed the first half hour and I consider myself lucky. This clunker of a movie is called 'Earth's Final Hours' and it was on the SyFy channel. It was one of those SyFy originals that they made for five bucks. This time they spent the five bucks, which goes nowhere near as far as it used to, on the special effects because nothing was spent on the script or any thinking that went into the script. Somehow, someway the Earth's rotation got stopped in a matter of hours by some kind of 'white hole' that passed through the earth. It stopped the Earth's rotation which stopped the Earth's magnetic field from working. Hmm, the last I knew it was the spinning of the Earth's molten outer core over our solid inner core that provided our magnetic field. But, thanks to a CIA agent, his partner, his son and his son's girlfriend they managed to save the world. It just so happened that many years ago this scientist, put away into a nut farm by the CIA, had managed to have placed by NASA two satellites for just such an emergency to save the whole world. And boy do these satellites move fast as they moved halfway around the world in seconds to get into position to do the needful later in the movie. The son managed to get control of this scientists assistant's computer, which was conveniently hidden, hooked up and ready to go but used language that was obsolete, in a matter of seconds as he managed to use a program that found the password. WOW!!! How amazing is it that the kid can handle an obsolete computer language but CIA scientists trying to take control of the two satellites from their hi tech control room couldn't.  But the CIA did not want to save the world, just the USA part of it so after the good CIA agent broke the 'loony' scientist out of the nut farm the bad CIA agents managed to shoot the scientist as he was escaping BUT, as he was croaking he managed to get all the info out that was needed to find the hidden satellite control setup and other crap to the good CIA agent. Well, after the scientist died the good guys pulled right into the satellite control place so the timing there couldn't be worse for the poor Earth. They then start the process of saving the world but the bad CIA agents find them and moronica ensues. With a split second left, and with the bad CIA boss guy whacking away at their satellite dish with a rod, why he did not pull out the wires just baffles me, they manage to trigger the satellites into action which, of course, starts the earth spinning again and saving everyone. There were a lot of other moronic things that happened in this movie but I would sprain my typing fingers if I tried to list them all.
I know that this movie review is helter skelter all over the place but that is all this movie deserves. Now that I have gotten this crappy movie out of my system I will try to delete its memory from my mind. I hope this review will spare someone from ever having to watch this piece of crap and suffer like I did so I can consider it my good deed of the day. But if you do want to watch 'Earth's Final Hours' please park your brain in neutral or turn it off completely or you will be agonized. You have been warned.

King Kraps on Buffalo Sports Redux

1) Well, the Bills lost again. Every week it is looking like a bigger and bigger mistake for the Bills in giving Quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick that contract extension. He just plain sucks right now. The Bill's defense is holier than a catholic mass. Spiller is starting to get yards but Coach Gailey does not want to give him the ball much. He had twelve carries for ninety one yards but I guess seven and a half yards per carry was not good enough. Gailey must think it is more fun watching Fitzpatrick throw interceptions. Now, in the middle of the season I thought one good draft might just put them on the road to the playoffs but that thought has long since been deleted from my mind. It is too bad that the game against Denver will probably be blacked out. I would have loved to see Denver's game plan against the Bills. Tebow and McGehee will probably run wild. If Tebow throws the ball more than ten times I will be shocked.
2) Your King tried to watch the Sabres game against the Pittsburgh Penguins this past Saturday. I knew what the result was going to be after Miller whiffed on that shot from the blue line early in the first. After two more goals and Miller being replaced by Enroth I had had enough. I did what any normal person would do and plugged in a good movie about mutated ants. "Them!" was a classic from the mid-fifties and I enjoyed it. After the movie was over I went back to the game. It was 8-3 at that point and I was figuring that owner Terry Pegula would probably love to feed his team to those mutant ants. They play as if they have tuned out Coach Ruff, injuries notwithstanding. I have never been a fan of Mindy Ruff and I feel that his time has past. Boy, how I wish they could have brought in Ken Hitchcock before he was snapped up by St. Louis. And Ken is doing a marvelous job there at this time. MSG is threatening to pull its programming off the air on Time Warner cable on January 1st. That means we would not be able to watch the Sabres and at this time I feel MSG would be doing us a favor.
3) Is there any bigger pig in this world, and reason for the death penalty, than the totally disgusting Richard Dallas of Wayne County New York?? This pervert sexually abused a nine month old baby girl. Only emergency surgery saved this baby's life and she will have to endure even more surgeries thanks to this pigs actions. This ass deserves the death penalty for what he has done to this baby. I can only hope that when he is sentenced that he is put into the prison's general population because, while they may be convicts, they have a code of ethics and will give this pig what he deserves. Hopefully a one way ticket to hell. Even Satan probably would not want this ass in hell. I hope this pig rots.
4) Why are we continuing the ridiculous embargo of Cuba? For crying out loud we fought a war with Vietnam and we now have decent diplomatic relations with them. The way to derail Cuba's regime is to open up trade with them. Hell, we opened up trade with China and now they are better capitalists than we are. It is time we drop the embargo and move forward. The really tiny baby steps that Raul Castro is making now could be made larger with open diplomatic relations with the Cuban government. The thing is that Cuba has never really experienced a government by democracy. Before Fidel Castro there was General Batista who was a right wing strongman that we supported. Opening relations will improve the flow of democratic principles into that country. Cubans will see what the real world is like and will want a piece of the action. Hey, it can't hurt.
5) It is now December 19th and we have only had about two inches of snow this winter season. Last year at this time we had forty five inches. I feel for the skiers but I would not mind going through an entire winter like this. After last year's nightmare we deserve a year off and it would have been an even bigger nightmare if the main storm track hadn't shifted of us for a bit late in that winter. We still received plenty of lake snow late season but the real storms pummeled other areas. There was a storm that pummeled Chicago, just ask the Weather Channel's Jim Cantore who was there, and was headed in our direction but it petered out by the time it reached us despite a winter storm warning posted here for it. Even Alaska is not as cold as it usually is at this time of year. Could it be global warming?? It is a distinct possibility though the nation's republicans call global warming a bunch of bull shazit. It is amazing that a topic like this has become a partisan football but hey, that is our divided nation in inaction. Ugh.
Well I have had enough typing for tonight. This is your King wishing for you to have a pleasant evening.

WAIT!!! By popular demand I am bringing back an old royal mumbling from December 2010 for a replay. I hope you enjoy it as it is still relevant as we, the people, are about to get screwed royally by the House Republicans. Thank you Mr. Speaker of the House Boehner.
2) Well we got our tax bill signed despite the best efforts of the GOP to keep this stalled until their millionaire and billionaire buddies got their cuts too. This bill also had relief for the unemployed as it extended their benefits but the GOP held out. Here is an 'interview' with Senator Mitch McConnell-R, Kentucky courtesy of the Moronica AP:

"Senator, why are you holding up the bill for tax relief for the poor and middle class and assistance for the unemployed?"
"We are not supporting this bill until they include tax relief for my millionaire and billionaire supporters. Those poor souls need it too."
"But Mr. McConnell, what about the poor and unemployed who really need this relief to survive?"
"Are there no prisons? Are the workhouses out of business?"
"Sir, the prisons are full of convicted criminals and all of the workhouses are now in India and China."
"Harrumph. This interview is over."
He then stormed away from our reporter. Senator Harry Reid was heard mumbling as he walked by: "At least we now know what GOP stands for: Greed Over the Poor." (Remember, my GOP friends, that this is just a blog of moronica)

King Impressed! And Speaks up on Vladimir Putin

Well, for shazit and giggles I checked my stats for my stupid blog for the past week and I am really impressed. It seems my audience for my reports on moronic things is worldwide. It really puts a smile on my face to see this and I thank all of my readers worldwide. This past week alone I had a lot of visits to my site from my friends in China and my friends in Russia rank as number three on the list of viewers. While the numbers are still not as strong as I would like it does make me want to work harder to put out an entertaining read for my readers. Especially lately with moronic things happening everywhere in this world it is a shame that I do tend to stay rather local with my posts. (The Buffalo Bills, and lately the Sabres, provide me with so much good material it is just too hard to resist)
To honor my friends all over this planet I will try, on occasion, to make my posts a bit more worldly so today I will comment on Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin, soon to be running for president again, having his moronic stooges stuff the ballot boxes in the recent parliamentary elections in his country so his band of thugs can remain in power. Even with the stuffing the numbers were very poor for him as his party just barely kept their majority in the Russian Parliament. Now, in a real democracy the people should have a real choice of who they want to represent them but when people who have power want to stay in power you can have issues. Mr. Putin claims that Russia has a special brand of democracy. What does he mean by that? It seems in his special brand of democracy he gets to stay in power almost as long as Stalin did and all of his opponents in presidential elections either end up getting arrested or muzzled. Lately the Russian people have been protesting Mr. Putin and his party as it looks like they really want to have a choice, for a change, as to who to vote for in the next presidential election. It is pretty moronic that when you see the ballot for president you see only Vladimir Putin's name. Now that is some choice.
What is really moronic is that Mr. Putin has already had his two terms as president but, according to the Russian Constitution, he can now run again after having his buddy Medvedev keep his seat warm for him. You cannot do that in America or Bill Clinton could have ran against George Bush back in 2004, and he probably would have won. This prevents someone from gathering too much power and allows the import of fresh ideas into the government. Mr. Putin believes right now that he IS Russia but the people there seem to be rebelling a bit against that line of thinking lately. Maybe they want a real choice for a change. Maybe they want a real democracy and not Mr. Putin's idea of a democracy. One for all and all for Putin should not fly in the next Russian Presidential election. They are a good people and deserving of a good government by the people and for the people. They suffered for too long under the heavy thumb of communism and the concept of freedom that sprang up under Boris Yeltsin should continue to grow and not stagnate. The world needs a strong and democratic Russia. Mr. Putin has had his time as president and he should step aside and allow a real democracy to grow. If Russia's next president decides that he is a fine Prime Minister and should remain in that position then so be it. But it seems that after the next election Putin and Medvedev will just switch positions. That is highly moronic. Again, the good Russian people deserve a real choice and not a sham choice. They deserve a leader that gets the most real votes and not from ballot stuffing by stooges.
Well, that is my 'worldly' post for tonight seeing that I have friends around the world that partake in my Blog of Moronica. I wish all of my friends, even Vladimir Putin, a pleasant evening.

Your King Kraps on Buffalo Sports and Other Things

1) Ryan Fitzpatrick of the Buffalo Bills has become the Anti-Sampson. The longer his beard grows the worse he gets. The thing about Sampson was that his hair gave him strength. Ryan's growing face of hair must be getting so heavy that it is affecting his passing by keeping his head off balance. If I were his team mates I would bind him with tape and cut that silly beard off. It was funny last year but it has now worn out its welcome. The Bills are paying this moron almost sixty million dollars over the next six years for him to be their quarterback. Well, ever since he signed that contract he has played like crappola. It must be catching as all of the Buffalo Sabres that have signed big contracts play like crap now but I digress and will discuss that later. The Bills need to hire Delilah and soon to shave Ryan's puss before the Bills sink any further. It is all the beard's fault.
2) Speaking of the Buffalo Sabres is there any team that plays as bad as they do in their home rink? I must hate myself as I continue to torture myself by watching this team play home games on the tube. I know that I do have the option of pressing the channel buttons to go somewhere else but I have been a Sabres fan since they drafted Gilbert Perreault with their first draft pick back in 1970. It does get to the point, at times, where I do change the channel but I always end up going back to the game. Maybe I should see an analyst for this. What really drives me nuts is that they play great on the road. They really do but when they put on the home jerseys they turn into the Washington Generals of hockey. They finally have an owner in Terry Pegula with deep pockets that wants to see this team win a cup but I really feel sorry for Terry. The players he is stuck with have no heart. The visiting teams skate at First Niagara Center with a chip on their shoulders because they know that if they do they have a great chance of leaving the city with two points. The Sabres have to start playing with some heart and knock that chip off the visiting team's shoulders. Man, they had a three goal lead on Philadelphia last week at home and still lost the game. I remember watching that thinking there will be some way for these idiots to give the game back to Philly. Boy was I right as Philly scored with one second left in the first period and after I saw that I knew the Flyers would beat them. The team is a huge disappointment at this time.
3) Is there anything more annoying than some of those WalMart Christmas commercials that have been airing lately? Ring-a-ding Ring-a-ding ring me up??? OMG I think I am going to puke. Even though that cute sales girl in that particular commercial does remind me of a young Goldie Hawn I am still going to vomit. WalMart, please take the moronica out of your commercials, please, please please!!!
4) Tim Tebow has made the Denver Broncos relevant again. I actually gave some brief thought about possibly going to the game in Buffalo next weekend to see him. But, after checking the Moronican treasury, that will not happen. There is nothing there, pretty much thanks to my ex-queen, at this time and I am hoping to get my foreign aid from the U. S. government in March to help stabilize the economy of my realm but again I digress. How many comebacks does this guy have left in his pocket. I thought the Miami comeback was amazing but the comeback against the Bears was even more impressive, though the Bear's  running back Marion Barber did display ample moronica in helping the Broncs.
5) Here is another weak edition of 'If they Only Had Twitter'. This time we will look at the twitter feed of Thomas E. Dewey on that fateful day back in November 1948. (Certain parts will be censored for my younger readers)
9:12 am - Thomas Dewey - Presidential candidate - "Looking forward to this day. Polls in my favor. I feel good about today!"
5:02 pm - Dewey - "Just cast my vote, things looking really good according to the polls. I can't wait for the results to be tallied up."
10:17 pm - Dewey - "First results looking great. Looks like I will be moving into the big house!!"
2:15 am - Dewey - "OMG. The first edition of the morning paper says in big letters 'DEWEY WINS!!'. YES!!! Time to get a good sleep so I can craft my winning speech."
8:17 a.m. Dewey - "OMG. I lost, I f-----g lost. I went to bed a winner and I f-----g lost. What happened to 'DEWEY WINS!!'??? I cannot believe I f-----g lost!"
So went a 24 four hour span in the twitter life of Thomas E. Dewey, if he only had twitter.
Well that is enough crap for today. Not a bad effort in getting two posts done in one day. Now it is time to relax and let my typing fingers rest. They have earned it. This is your King wishing you a great evening!!

Your King on Genesee Beer

No, your King is not going to partake in the swizzling of it but a discussion of what the Brewery wants to do with a piece of its property. The company that owns the Genesee Brewery wants to demolish the building at 13 Cataract to build a museum with a restaurant that will have a great view of the falls. Well, the Landmark Society wants to put a kibosh on the wishes of the Brewery. Supposedly this place is some kind of a historical landmark and they do not want it demolished. Well, maybe it is but, after viewing the Channel Thirteen tour of the place, it is more of a dump than a landmark. It is a cruddily designed building that is falling apart and the Landmark Society wants to saddle the Brewery with this piece of crap. It has been said that it would take eight million dollars just to get it up to code, not even mentioning the museum or restaurant. There is a very poor view of the falls from the windows of the building and soon, if left to its own devices, it will demolish itself. It is just plain moronic that anyone would even want to preserve this piece of crap. What Genesee wants to do is to demolish this clunker and build a new building. What Genesee should do is to create a building designed with a historic look to it. It has been done before so why not now. The City Fathers talk about revitalizing the downtown area but when Genesee wants to demolish this piece of crap some dopey group of moronic people say 'oh no, you cannot do that!!! Its historic!'. What is so historic about this clunker? It was built in 1889, not 1689. There have been plenty of buildings built in 1889 that have been razed for progress. While I am for preserving history this clunker does not deserve the attention it is getting. It should be razed and Genesee should be allowed to proceed with its plans to put something nice there. Something that will draw people downtown. Isn't that what the city of Rochester wants?? I say let it be razed. So let it be written, so let it be done.