Your King wishes all of his readers a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year as I take a break from blogging to recharge my humor battery which is quite low at this time. Suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder I do find it hard to be 'myself' at times this time of the year. Bear with me my friends and hopefully 2010 will be full of humor as I will be more than happy to see 2009, which could be the worst year in Moronican history, come to a close. Again, my friends, Merry Christmas!!!
PS: Now that Christmas is over maybe Santa will pick up the phone and answer my call, but then again he does vacation in the Bahamas right after he finishes. To bad I can't be with him.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Tenth Inductee into the Moronica Hall of Fame
My oh my, do I have the newest member of my MHOF ready to be inducted. This inductee is someone I never could possibly imagine EVER being inducted into my MHOF but I must do what I must do. This inductee has been purported to be the first billion dollar athlete, but in about a year he will be worth about half that, if he is lucky. This inductee had the world as his oyster. This inductee has a beautiful Swedish model trophy wife yet wasn't satisfied. This man is Tiger Woods.
Tiger, oh Tiger, what could you possibly be thinking? As of this moment there seem to be at least four women that you have dallied with. Methinks Elliot Spitzer is jealous as he had to pay for his. According to the news wire you had a 31 month affair with a cocktail waitress by the name of Jaimee Grubbs. Grubbs??? Two others that I have names for are Rachel Uchitel, who denies it, and Kalike Moguin. Tiger, I cannot believe that you could be unfaithful to Erin with a woman by the name of Grubbs.
Now, there are some serious questions that need to be answered. Here are a few:
1) As Tiger was pulling out of his driveway was his drive slicing or hooking? And where, oh where, was he heading at 2:30 in the morning?
2) Where did his wife Elin so quickly get a hold of a three iron? Or would a better club have been a 'mashie"?
3) Did Elin take any 'divots' as she was 'teeing' off?
4) What was par for Tiger's head?
5) Did golf guru Butch Harmon give Elin any lessons on making the proper 'swing'?
6) Was Tiger's apology for his 'transgressions' plain or was it the Jerry Falwell type where the tears are flowing?
7) Is Tiger so stupid that he couldn't realize that if he left a message, on tape, for his mistress to change her greeting, that this message would not surface in the future?
Now we see that poor Tiger will get four points on his license and will have to pay a traffic ticket in the amount of $164. Oh my, where is going to come up with that? He also did $3,200 in damage to the hydrant and the tree. And we don't even have the estimate yet to fix his car. Oh how the 'costs' are climbing for poor Tiger and its only just beginning.
Tiger loves his privacy but what Tiger does not seem to realize that if you are in public life everything is scrutinized. Every little, well not in his case as it definitely ain't little, transgression gets magnified greatly but the press. He has apologized but he still expects to keep his privacy...sorry to say Tiger but that ain't gonna happen. Too many people are interested in you. Thierry Henry of France thanks you for taking the spotlight off his world famous handball. You have let down too many people by this error in judgment. But screwing around with four..FOUR women..that we know of at this time, is absolutely mind boggling. Going back to his apology he never admits to anything other than 'transgressions'. But then again, he really does not have to admit to anything else than that. He is just a golfer, albeit the best in the world, not an elected official. It will be interesting to see how all of companies that pay him to represent their products react. Some companies actually do have scruples.
Your King was a big fan of yours but now I hope Elin cleans you out. You deserve it you chump.
So, If you see Tiger Woods please let him know of his induction into my Moronica Hall of Fame and the honor that has been bestowed upon him.
Tiger, oh Tiger, what could you possibly be thinking? As of this moment there seem to be at least four women that you have dallied with. Methinks Elliot Spitzer is jealous as he had to pay for his. According to the news wire you had a 31 month affair with a cocktail waitress by the name of Jaimee Grubbs. Grubbs??? Two others that I have names for are Rachel Uchitel, who denies it, and Kalike Moguin. Tiger, I cannot believe that you could be unfaithful to Erin with a woman by the name of Grubbs.
Now, there are some serious questions that need to be answered. Here are a few:
1) As Tiger was pulling out of his driveway was his drive slicing or hooking? And where, oh where, was he heading at 2:30 in the morning?
2) Where did his wife Elin so quickly get a hold of a three iron? Or would a better club have been a 'mashie"?
3) Did Elin take any 'divots' as she was 'teeing' off?
4) What was par for Tiger's head?
5) Did golf guru Butch Harmon give Elin any lessons on making the proper 'swing'?
6) Was Tiger's apology for his 'transgressions' plain or was it the Jerry Falwell type where the tears are flowing?
7) Is Tiger so stupid that he couldn't realize that if he left a message, on tape, for his mistress to change her greeting, that this message would not surface in the future?
Now we see that poor Tiger will get four points on his license and will have to pay a traffic ticket in the amount of $164. Oh my, where is going to come up with that? He also did $3,200 in damage to the hydrant and the tree. And we don't even have the estimate yet to fix his car. Oh how the 'costs' are climbing for poor Tiger and its only just beginning.
Tiger loves his privacy but what Tiger does not seem to realize that if you are in public life everything is scrutinized. Every little, well not in his case as it definitely ain't little, transgression gets magnified greatly but the press. He has apologized but he still expects to keep his privacy...sorry to say Tiger but that ain't gonna happen. Too many people are interested in you. Thierry Henry of France thanks you for taking the spotlight off his world famous handball. You have let down too many people by this error in judgment. But screwing around with four..FOUR women..that we know of at this time, is absolutely mind boggling. Going back to his apology he never admits to anything other than 'transgressions'. But then again, he really does not have to admit to anything else than that. He is just a golfer, albeit the best in the world, not an elected official. It will be interesting to see how all of companies that pay him to represent their products react. Some companies actually do have scruples.
Your King was a big fan of yours but now I hope Elin cleans you out. You deserve it you chump.
So, If you see Tiger Woods please let him know of his induction into my Moronica Hall of Fame and the honor that has been bestowed upon him.
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