Hard Times

With the upcoming holidays I decided to try to get some inside information on economic conditions. Thinking hard I finally decided on who best to call...Santa. Normally this time of year it is very hard to get a hold of him, not this year as he picked up after the second ring.
"Hello Santa, Its your friend Dinglefritz, How is business up there? The world would like to know."
"Oh Dingle, its always good to talk with you but this year is not going well for old Santa."
"Whats happening up North?"
"As you know I have over 4,000 elves working for me and I can't keep them all busy. Too many orders have been shipped to India and China and now I am in a bind. I may have to let go half of them. I offered buyouts to them but very few took them. I guess they feel being elves would hamper them in trying to find other work. I even heard Keebler may not be hiring."
"True, but continue."
"I am trying to short shift them in order to keep as many of them as possible but I am looking at laying off half of them. It hurts me badly Dingle as I love them all"
"Thats a good chunk of your help Santa."
"Thats not all. I am cutting half of my reindeer force as I won't need all of that reindeer power to do my job this year. Comet and Dasher are going to retire as they were smart and invested their money in precious metals, which is fine, but I am going to have to cut Blitzen and Donner this year as they are lowest in seniority and if I can get away without using Rudolph he will be off this year too. Hugo and Stinky were looking forward to taking the retiring reindeer's place but they are not going to be able to work either."
"Rudolph??????"
"Yes, even Rudolph. I am trying to get a small piece of the government bailout but not being located in the United States, well thats is proving to be damn near impossible."
"Santa, this is troubling. I just cannot put it into words how badly I feel for you."
"Dingle, thanks for the sympathy but even I, Santa, was thinking about retirement after this year but with all of my savings in the stock market this old man is going to be working for many more years. I have almost nothing left after the last six months. I had purchased a retirement home in Florida last year but now it looks like it will be going into foreclosure as its either trying to keep as many elves as possible or paying the mortgage on it. Its killing me."
"Santa, I just...."
"Dingle, I know what you are going to try to say but I will survive. I will try to make as many kids happy this year as I can but its going to be hard. Its been great chatting with you Dingle but I have to get back to work, what little there is of it for me to do. Give me a call again next year as it looks like I may even have more free time to chat. Take care and good bye."
"Bye Santa"
We can only hope the economy gets turned around fast enough because it affects everyone. No one is immune...not even Santa.