Right out of an Alfred Hitchcock movie Moronica was invaded today by the birds, well one bird, but it was a big one. A great big blue heron attempted to enter the palace of your King today in what was the most interesting invasion of my kingdom in years. I was out trying to tie up my tomato plants, which thanks to this rotten weather, continue to grow upwards but are producing little in the way of tasty red fruits. As I was approaching my plants I notice people in my front yard pointing at my front porch. I went around and there it was, camped out on my porch pecking away at my front door as if it wanted to come in. This can only happen to me was my first thought as the bird waddled around doing what comes naturally to birds - peeing and pooping. It looked like it's right wing was a little off kilter, whether it was broken or not we may never know. My neighbor tried to call animal control but the person was busy taking care of the fish in his or her aquarium. We tried to keep it confined for its own safety but it got out and wandered around. These birds fly at the drop of a hat so the wing must have been a problem thought it did spread them out fine.
My thought is that maybe it was caught in the weekend storms and finally made its way here but who knows. I had a good time hosing the off my front porch from the gifts the bird left me. Animal control finally showed up and my neighbors were able to lead him to the bird and he was captured. Hopefully this will have a happy ending and he will be able to help the marauding bird. If not, well I may never know. Your king hopes that this will be the last invasion of my kingdom.... but would Alfred Hitchcock have it that way??????
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Saturday, July 18, 2009
King Dinglefritz Honors a Legend
This past Friday at 7:42 p.m. the world lost an icon as Walter Cronkite passed away. I remember watching him when he was the CBS News Anchorman and just enjoying the way he presented the news. His was the only news broadcast I would watch regularly. He was called the 'most trusted man in America' and I firmly believe this. I watched intently as he 'took' the nation to the moon along with the Apollo 11 astronauts and when the landing was confirmed and the Neil Armstrong became the first man to set foot on the moon you could see the absolute joy in his face. You could tell he wished he was there with them.
He brought a vibrancy to news broadcasting that has not been matched since. In fact, in some countries, they did not have a word in their language for anchorman and developed a word named after him. In Holland they are called Cronkiters, in Sweden, Kronkiters. Now that is a real honor to have your name represent something in another language. The only word that is based on my name is 'Dingleberry' and I would rather not talk about that.
He became anchorman in 1962 and led us through the turbulent sixties and seventies. He held our hand after Kennedy was assassinated, took us to the moon and was our eyes in Vietnam. In 1968 he remarked, after a tour of Vietnam, that the war was not winnable and it was time for us to withdraw. President Johnson was watching his broadcast and was heard to say "If I've lost Cronkite, I've lost Middle America". It just shows you what respect he held. In 1981 he was forced to retire at age 65 due to a now outdated, and now changed, policy at CBS that forced people out at that age. That was a big mistake as he could have easily anchored the news for many more years. The CBS News has not been the same since.
And to honor him I conclude by saying...That's the way it is this Saturday July 18, 2009. Goodbye Walter...The Kingdom of Moronica, and the world, will miss you.
He brought a vibrancy to news broadcasting that has not been matched since. In fact, in some countries, they did not have a word in their language for anchorman and developed a word named after him. In Holland they are called Cronkiters, in Sweden, Kronkiters. Now that is a real honor to have your name represent something in another language. The only word that is based on my name is 'Dingleberry' and I would rather not talk about that.
He became anchorman in 1962 and led us through the turbulent sixties and seventies. He held our hand after Kennedy was assassinated, took us to the moon and was our eyes in Vietnam. In 1968 he remarked, after a tour of Vietnam, that the war was not winnable and it was time for us to withdraw. President Johnson was watching his broadcast and was heard to say "If I've lost Cronkite, I've lost Middle America". It just shows you what respect he held. In 1981 he was forced to retire at age 65 due to a now outdated, and now changed, policy at CBS that forced people out at that age. That was a big mistake as he could have easily anchored the news for many more years. The CBS News has not been the same since.
And to honor him I conclude by saying...That's the way it is this Saturday July 18, 2009. Goodbye Walter...The Kingdom of Moronica, and the world, will miss you.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Your King meets the Hungarian Ambassador
As King of Moronica I am often required to meet with representatives of other nations from time to time. This time my travels took me to South Carolina this past April. Accompanying me were my lovely Queen and my son, Prince Spoiled Brat the First. My wife enjoyed herself but Prince Brat, well, who knows as he did live up to his name. I had the occasion to visit with the Hungarian Ambassador to Myrtle Beach. My meeting with Ambassador Sipos went very well guaranteeing continued peace in our time between Hungary and Moronica. During my meeting with the ambassador he invited me to meet with him again in early July at his chateau in Northern New York State. It was an enjoyable time spent fishing and relaxing. I think its time, as King, that I have my own chateau somewhere to escape from the grind of my kingly duties, which lately have been very draining of my life essence but I digress.
The ambassador also invited my family to accompany him to the local Elks Club, of which he is a member, where we chowed down and I was able to play some 8-ball with the royal Brat. He won the first game, how I do not know, but didn't come close to beating me again the rest of the night. Your king even had a chance to partake in something called Karaoke. I hope Ringo Starr does not sue me over the butchering of his songs that I happened to belt out even though some of the locals sort of enjoyed my version of his No No song.
While in Myrtle Beach I happened to run into my old friend Chief Raininthepuss from the Ungadunga tribe of New York State (The Asylum). I knew he was going to be in the vicinity during this time, but I thought my chances of seeing him were very remote. I figured he was going to be here to pick up some cheap smokes to continue to sell the citizens of The Asylum. I met up with him on Myrtle's main drag after he just had his picture taken with his lovely squaw, I mean wife. We chatted a little and I had to give him my regrets to attending his tribal party in the middle of June. He understood and ended up giving me an extra picture of himself and his wife that he just had taken. I now have it hanging up in my royal living room.
I thoroughly enjoyed my trip to Myrtle Beach as the weather was perfect, totally unlike the crap we are enduring now in Western Asylum and Moronica. Whilst in Myrtle I happened to visit a local restaurant by the name of 'Crabby Mikes' to partake in its seafood buffet and compare it with others that I have sampled. I will tell you this...I have never seen larger snow crab legs in a buffet as I saw that night. They were HUGE!!!! And very meaty. After I finished eating they had to call Captain Johnathan Hillstrand of the fishing vessel Time Bandit and have him send his boat back out to catch more. The crab legs were so good, in fact, that before I left the restaurant I officially proclaimed it to be the official seafood buffet stop of Moronica. Too bad its 860 miles away.
The week went very quickly and before long it was time to head back to Moronica. After a rather quick, for me, drive back I arrived home in time to be able to go to the pet motel and pick up the royal mutt and bring her home. She was very thrilled to see her daddy. All in all it was a very successful trip for your king.
The ambassador also invited my family to accompany him to the local Elks Club, of which he is a member, where we chowed down and I was able to play some 8-ball with the royal Brat. He won the first game, how I do not know, but didn't come close to beating me again the rest of the night. Your king even had a chance to partake in something called Karaoke. I hope Ringo Starr does not sue me over the butchering of his songs that I happened to belt out even though some of the locals sort of enjoyed my version of his No No song.
While in Myrtle Beach I happened to run into my old friend Chief Raininthepuss from the Ungadunga tribe of New York State (The Asylum). I knew he was going to be in the vicinity during this time, but I thought my chances of seeing him were very remote. I figured he was going to be here to pick up some cheap smokes to continue to sell the citizens of The Asylum. I met up with him on Myrtle's main drag after he just had his picture taken with his lovely squaw, I mean wife. We chatted a little and I had to give him my regrets to attending his tribal party in the middle of June. He understood and ended up giving me an extra picture of himself and his wife that he just had taken. I now have it hanging up in my royal living room.
I thoroughly enjoyed my trip to Myrtle Beach as the weather was perfect, totally unlike the crap we are enduring now in Western Asylum and Moronica. Whilst in Myrtle I happened to visit a local restaurant by the name of 'Crabby Mikes' to partake in its seafood buffet and compare it with others that I have sampled. I will tell you this...I have never seen larger snow crab legs in a buffet as I saw that night. They were HUGE!!!! And very meaty. After I finished eating they had to call Captain Johnathan Hillstrand of the fishing vessel Time Bandit and have him send his boat back out to catch more. The crab legs were so good, in fact, that before I left the restaurant I officially proclaimed it to be the official seafood buffet stop of Moronica. Too bad its 860 miles away.
The week went very quickly and before long it was time to head back to Moronica. After a rather quick, for me, drive back I arrived home in time to be able to go to the pet motel and pick up the royal mutt and bring her home. She was very thrilled to see her daddy. All in all it was a very successful trip for your king.
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