Santa?? Pitching Pepsi???

I heard a commercial on the radio today where Santa's elves were pitching Pepsi products. Knowing that Santa is strictly a Coca Cola man I decided to give him a call to find out the scoop and, at the very least, say hi as it has been a couple of years since I have spoken with the big guy. I called the main office but they said he was out on vacation in Florida so I gave him a call on his cell. After a few tries, as I could not leave a message as his message box was full, I finally got through to my friend.
"Hello, ho ho..."
"Hi Santa, This is your Friend King Dinglefritz, How are you doing?"
"Dingle, my friend, so good to talk with you. It has been far too long. Last time I spoke with you I was recovering from my visit to the White House. I am doing great now! How about you?"
"I am doing fine Santa. It is so good to hear your voice again. Speaking of that White House visit, any lasting effects?"
"Nope, completely recovered. It took a little longer than my doctors thought but I have finally come through with flying colors. I had the last laugh however, President Obama sent me a Christmas wish asking for a fast growing economy and I pretty much just laughed since he is on my naughty list thanks to his goons. Ho Ho Ho."
"Its good to hear you in such great spirits Santa. I am curious as to why you are in Florida now. Usually you take your vacation in the Bahamas for a month in January and then it is back to work for the rest of the year. Why the change?"
"It is called money my friend. I have more of it now since I signed a big advertising contract a few months ago. I was able to hire more management help and am able to take more time away from the factory. Hey, I am getting old you know. And having a bit more cash is one heck of a chick magnet down here, just don't tell Jessica Ho Ho Ho!! She is with me somewhere here. I think she is at the pool so I can relax and be myself."
"I have heard commercials featuring your elves selling Pepsi. Is that the contract you are referring to?"
"Yup!! They made me an offer I couldn't refuse"
"But Santa, You have always been a Coke man.."
"Still am. I can't stand Pepsi as it gives me bad gas but nowadays when they fill your wallet I will say anything is great, but then again it is the elves saying that so technically, if you think about it, I am off the hook."
"Santa, that is still selling out your principals. I never thought your would advertise anything that you did not like."
"I thought so too Dingle but when times are hard you have to do what you have to do. Santa needs some extra cash. Keeping all of those elves working ain't cheap, especially with the world's economy. You have to make tough choices in times like this but number of those zeroes in that contract made this decision easy."
"You have to do what you have to do, eh, Santa?"
"Yes Dingle, I have an ice cold Coke in my hand and Pepsi bucks in my wallet. A combo you can't beat!!"
"I guess you are right Santa. You really didn't pack a thong, did you?"
"Are you kidding????? It was something funny they decided to put in that stupid commercial. Besides, with a belly like mine... and they are also banned at the resort I am at.. That is the biggest shame as there are so many cute hot chicks..just kidding. Jessica is with me and my eye had better not wander...too much...Ho Ho Ho!!!"
"I still cannot believe you are doing ads for Pepsi. It boggles the mind."
"That is life my friend. I have to go now as the cute college coeds want me to play beach volleyball with them. Stuff like that keeps Santa young and they will ALL be on my good list this December. Take care Dingle!! Talk with you later!! Ho Ho HOOOOO!!!"
"Take care Santa, Bye."
Well that was my call to Santa transcribed from the tape I made. Hard to believe that he would ever push Pepsi but dollar signs get the best of us I guess, even people you thought were invulnerable to its lure get sucked in by it. It is just so hard to believe.
This is your King wishing you a pleasant evening.