Shocking

Your King had a royal shock today when his Queen came home this afternoon. As if the omelet adventure wasn't bad enough she ended up having her nose pierced and a stud put in it. Now here is an area where the King of Moronica does have an opinion, and an area of shallowness(except for my opinion on smoking). UGH! The things that drive me nuts, in order of royal pestilence, are as follows starting with the worst.
1) Smoking - The King thoroughly abhors smoking and would not have even considered asking a smoker out. On the personal rating scale of 1-10, smoking is an automatic minus five points to start with no matter how pretty a young lady may be. Anyone stupid enough to get hooked on these moronic nicotine injectors, especially nowadays, is just plain stupid. Why risk your health? I have had two cousins die from emphysema and have seen what it has done to a few of my other relatives, including my father. It ages you and rots your innards. Double UGH!
2) Tattoos - Tattoos start off as an automatic deduction of at least two points, even if it is hidden or nice looking. The larger and more numerous, the larger the deduction. You have to remember that these things stay with you forever. If you have one done on your breast just imagine what it may look like when you turn seventy five and the inevitable sagging strikes. An unobtrusive little heart tattoo there may end up looking like it needs a transplant.
3) Piercings - Ears are fine, anywhere else you start having deductions. The Queen gets a minus one for hers and an additional minus one for the shock to my heart, as when you get to be my age the only shocks you usually end up getting are from defibrillators. Now, naturally, the more you have the larger the deduction. I cannot even imagine what the deduction would be if the person's face ended up looking like barbed wire, as some people do strive to attain. A bone through the nose is definitely outsville! UGH.
Now the King still dearly loves his Queen but she does enjoy pressing my buttons to see what kind of reaction she will get. Today's was a good one as she pressed the red one. As Daffy Duck says "Never press the wed one!" Only here in Moronica.