I want to personally apologize to everyone in my Kingdom, my golfing buddies and all of the people in 'The Asylum' for the bad weather that I am sure I am the root cause of. In my previous entry I noted that I have returned to playing golf. While I was away from golf the weather during the past few summers have been decidedly nice. Now that I am back the weather sucks. There has to be a direct correlation to my return to golf and this stinky weather. Only a fool cannot see this. Extra proof of this is I have rounds of golf scheduled for both days this weekend so Mother Nature is really letting us have it this week. As I am writing this I can hear an oncoming thunder boomer getting ready to drench us. My back yard has become a swamp. Did I say swamp??? I meant lake. The creek that runs next to my yard is now a moat. It is now high enough for me to use my kayak in. My grass sets weekly records in growth that a farmer would envy. ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!
Its too bad we cannot send some of this crap to where they really need the rain as I think we have had more than our fair share.
Its too bad I cannot blame Kevin Williams for this as he is Moronica's official weather whipping boy. Oh what the hell, maybe I will anyway and issue a royal decree for his head...well maybe that IS a little rough. Maybe I will just have his little weather computer controller smashed instead. Then again maybe we can make him a sacrifice to the weather gods so they will let us dry out. If anyone has any better ideas please let your King know as I am open to any idea that may dry us out.
Once again I offer my royal apology for the weather but I am not quitting golf again, at least not until I win.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
King vs. Golf
Milton once said that golf is a great walk spoiled. In my case he is wrong because as King, I ride the cart. After getting married I stepped away from one of my favorite games for the most part which has turned out to be a mistake on my part. Like George Bush, I really do not like to admit making a mistake so we will call it a lapse in judgment. Now, I really enjoy the game but now that I am back playing weekly again I now realize how much my game has deteriorated since I stepped away from it. It is amazing how a little white, or in my case yellow, piece of garbage that lies so temptingly on a tee taunts you to no end. It just sits there asking to get spanked and usually what happens is that it has the last laugh. Now, make no mistake, I can launch a ball off the tee. I can out drive most people who use a driver with a three wood but that still does me no good and it does drive them nuts. Whats the use of drilling it 280+ yards w/ a three wood when your wedge butchers your next shot? As they say drive for show...... I did see a tip on the Internet while surfing that I have adapted that has helped cut some of the nonsense out of my wedge game. I actually hit some brilliant chips last Sunday though they were few and far between but there is hope as it sure beats not hitting any nice chips at all. Improvement is being shown.
But, what is really breaking my heart is my putter. What is the use of improving your wedge game when you cannot finish it off on the green? I used to be a fairly efficient putter but the time away has killed that part of my game. I used to be able to hit some bombs with my putter, but now the only time I bomb is when I am sitting on the royal "throne". I stand over the ball on the green not knowing if Jack Nicklaus is about ready to putt or will it be Magilla Gorilla or even Alice that shows up. Most times its Magilla. Lets take #8 at the Livingston Country Club this past Sunday for example. I had a mid length downhill putt for birdie and I stood over it KNOWING that I did not have to strike the ball hard to get it to the hole, but what happens???? King Kong shows up and knocks it 15 feet past the bloody hole and what really irks me is that Jack Nicklaus showed up on the par putt and I ram that home. Of course Jack could not have showed up one shot earlier. Then on #9 I had another birdie putt but who shows up this time??? Alice shows up and I leave it 7 feet short as I was gun shy after my adventure on #8. Then, of course, Jack shows up again for the par putt. Its stuff like this that can drive someone absolutely bonkers knowing the ability is there but suffering through the lengthy retraining of the muscle memory for putting. I cannot blame the putter as it is a top of the line model and I know it works. Its just the moron holding it.
I used to normally shoot between 88-92 but now my average is about 97, which may be an 'A+' in school, but on the course it is royally unacceptable. I leave too many strokes out on the course and it costs me in more ways than one. I have maintained decorum and respectability by not spazzing out after turning a routine par into a butcher job double bogey. I am proud of that but it is becoming an all too common occurrence putting a definite strain on my sanity. Though many people have said there is nothing left to strain in that aspect. Putting is tough to practice as the greens at Livingston are one of the fastest in the area so you just cannot go to some place with slow greens and expect to cure the problem, though, it may reduce the appearances of Magilla making Alice a featured guest on the green. Never up, never in.
Maybe its time for your King to give Tiger a call for some advice, but then again after watching him putt at the US Open maybe not. Your King has not been blessed with an overabundance of patience but it is something I have pledged to maintain out on the course but doing that makes my drive home a 35 minute mumble and grumble session as I try to relieve 4 hours of frustration. But who knows, maybe the next time out the real me will return and I will shoot an 85, but then again, while I am wishing I may as well wish for a pony as I have a better chance at getting that.
Until next time, your King, Dinglefritz the First, King of Moronica says, quoting one of my favorite weather personalities Bob Mills, "Have a Happy".
But, what is really breaking my heart is my putter. What is the use of improving your wedge game when you cannot finish it off on the green? I used to be a fairly efficient putter but the time away has killed that part of my game. I used to be able to hit some bombs with my putter, but now the only time I bomb is when I am sitting on the royal "throne". I stand over the ball on the green not knowing if Jack Nicklaus is about ready to putt or will it be Magilla Gorilla or even Alice that shows up. Most times its Magilla. Lets take #8 at the Livingston Country Club this past Sunday for example. I had a mid length downhill putt for birdie and I stood over it KNOWING that I did not have to strike the ball hard to get it to the hole, but what happens???? King Kong shows up and knocks it 15 feet past the bloody hole and what really irks me is that Jack Nicklaus showed up on the par putt and I ram that home. Of course Jack could not have showed up one shot earlier. Then on #9 I had another birdie putt but who shows up this time??? Alice shows up and I leave it 7 feet short as I was gun shy after my adventure on #8. Then, of course, Jack shows up again for the par putt. Its stuff like this that can drive someone absolutely bonkers knowing the ability is there but suffering through the lengthy retraining of the muscle memory for putting. I cannot blame the putter as it is a top of the line model and I know it works. Its just the moron holding it.
I used to normally shoot between 88-92 but now my average is about 97, which may be an 'A+' in school, but on the course it is royally unacceptable. I leave too many strokes out on the course and it costs me in more ways than one. I have maintained decorum and respectability by not spazzing out after turning a routine par into a butcher job double bogey. I am proud of that but it is becoming an all too common occurrence putting a definite strain on my sanity. Though many people have said there is nothing left to strain in that aspect. Putting is tough to practice as the greens at Livingston are one of the fastest in the area so you just cannot go to some place with slow greens and expect to cure the problem, though, it may reduce the appearances of Magilla making Alice a featured guest on the green. Never up, never in.
Maybe its time for your King to give Tiger a call for some advice, but then again after watching him putt at the US Open maybe not. Your King has not been blessed with an overabundance of patience but it is something I have pledged to maintain out on the course but doing that makes my drive home a 35 minute mumble and grumble session as I try to relieve 4 hours of frustration. But who knows, maybe the next time out the real me will return and I will shoot an 85, but then again, while I am wishing I may as well wish for a pony as I have a better chance at getting that.
Until next time, your King, Dinglefritz the First, King of Moronica says, quoting one of my favorite weather personalities Bob Mills, "Have a Happy".
Friday, June 26, 2009
Eighth Inductee into the Moronica Hall of Fame
As King of a nonpolitical entity I get sick at all of the political crap that is now going on the the State of New York(heretofore to be referred to as "the Asylum"). The newest member(s) being inducted into my MHOF are the members of the The Asylum State Senate. I am going to keep this brief as the members of this political body continue to drag The Asylum to the depths of despair no one thought possible. Do the residents of The Asylum really deserve the inept representation that these individuals are providing us at this time? Absolutely nothing is getting done in Albany at this time. Governor Paterson is losing his mind over this. These people are getting paid for doing absolutely nothing except being babies and not playing with the other side. Instead they just take their gavel and go home. Seeing the democrats not standing for the Pledge of Allegiance really had me in a tizzy as they insulted our country and flag.
Why do we continue to vote for the same idiots? Are we really that stupid? We all say we want change then we all say we love our state senator and we all continue to vote for the incumbent. I guess we really do deserve what we have.
Our current crop of State Senators have distinguished themselves as the most moronic babies this side of Iran. For crying out loud they are insulting the residents of The Asylum with their antics. There is vital legislation that is just sitting waiting for them to vote on that the assembly has passed and if this legislation is not sent to the Governor soon bad things are going to happen to we taxpayers. This bull crap MUST STOP and it must stop now. The State Senators should not be paid anything until they settle their differences and get to work. If I tried this crap at my job I most certainly would be selling apples on a corner somewhere and it should be the same way for these clods. The governor, if he had the power, should be able to call for a special election and replace all of these losers with the proviso that they cannot run for their senate seat in this special election and also that they be ruled ineligible to run for any state office ever again.
If there has ever been a group of individuals so worthy of induction into the MHOF it is this group of idiots. We deserve better than this. We deserve a state government that is functional. Our state government is being laughed at from here to Tibet. The people of this state should rise up in protest to what is happening in the state senate at this time. We should throw the bums out. I fully support the governor in keeping these jerks in Albany until they get to business and keep them from enjoying their 'summer vacation'. With that being said if you ever see any member of the State Senate please let them know of their induction into the MHOF and the honor that has been bestowed upon them.
PS: We really do deserve better than this. It would be nice to see The Asylum become the State of New York again. We should be proud of the people that represent us in Albany instead of being embarrassed by them. Our state is now the laughing stock of the United States! I am sure, though, our senators are thanking the Governor of South Carolina for taking some of the moronic pressure off them.
Til later, Dinglefritz, your beloved King of Moronica.
Why do we continue to vote for the same idiots? Are we really that stupid? We all say we want change then we all say we love our state senator and we all continue to vote for the incumbent. I guess we really do deserve what we have.
Our current crop of State Senators have distinguished themselves as the most moronic babies this side of Iran. For crying out loud they are insulting the residents of The Asylum with their antics. There is vital legislation that is just sitting waiting for them to vote on that the assembly has passed and if this legislation is not sent to the Governor soon bad things are going to happen to we taxpayers. This bull crap MUST STOP and it must stop now. The State Senators should not be paid anything until they settle their differences and get to work. If I tried this crap at my job I most certainly would be selling apples on a corner somewhere and it should be the same way for these clods. The governor, if he had the power, should be able to call for a special election and replace all of these losers with the proviso that they cannot run for their senate seat in this special election and also that they be ruled ineligible to run for any state office ever again.
If there has ever been a group of individuals so worthy of induction into the MHOF it is this group of idiots. We deserve better than this. We deserve a state government that is functional. Our state government is being laughed at from here to Tibet. The people of this state should rise up in protest to what is happening in the state senate at this time. We should throw the bums out. I fully support the governor in keeping these jerks in Albany until they get to business and keep them from enjoying their 'summer vacation'. With that being said if you ever see any member of the State Senate please let them know of their induction into the MHOF and the honor that has been bestowed upon them.
PS: We really do deserve better than this. It would be nice to see The Asylum become the State of New York again. We should be proud of the people that represent us in Albany instead of being embarrassed by them. Our state is now the laughing stock of the United States! I am sure, though, our senators are thanking the Governor of South Carolina for taking some of the moronic pressure off them.
Til later, Dinglefritz, your beloved King of Moronica.
Frank Alkhofer
I hope I am spelling this gentleman's name right but here goes. Now to qualify myself to be able to write independently on this subject I state that I am an independent who normally votes democrat and was once a member of said party. Its stuff like this that I am about to expound upon that makes me glad I did not re-enroll in the party when I moved to Rochester. Also, I will never re-enroll in any party as long as the political crap in this country continues.
I read in today's Democrat and Chronicle that the democrats(idiots) in the Monroe County legislature have asked Frank Alkhofer to resign from his position on the ethics board as a result of a perceived involvement in the Robatraud(sic?) scandal which, at present, involves Robert Morone and a slew of contractors. Frank is a victim in this case and I am 100% sure not involved at all in this scandal. The idiots just want to rake this man through the mud for absolutely no reason except for political gain for themselves. He did what every man in his position would have done..he contacted a friend to ask for advice on a project. He had the project done, paid for it thinking everything was above board not knowing that the contractors involved were also being paid by the county at the time of the project was being done. Hey, if you were not sure who to hire for a project that required contractors would you not ask a friend to recommend someone? Saying Frank has any responsibility in this mess is like the police charging someone, who unwittingly gave money to Bernard Maddof to invest for them, with a crime. The same thing could have happened to me if I needed contract work done on my house and asked a friend, who was familiar with workers in this area, for advice.
Why are the idiots piling on Frank in this case? Why, because they just want to make a name for themselves and expand the scandal to their benefit. What really stinks is that I am sure none of the idiots will ever read this and see how a regular Joe like me feels about them. I have had a chance to meet Frank and I like him. Even though he though he is a (gasp) republican I have and will continue to vote for him.
While this scandal continues to make me sick the people who had and paid for work done, thinking everything was above board, are victims plain and simple and should be treated as such. They should NOT be treated as being part of the scandal. The people who wasted our tax dollars are the ones who should be punished. I would like to know which idiot democrats in the legislature are the ones asking for his resignation so if I ever have the chance to 'NOT' vote for this person I will. If I don't I will never vote for a democrat for the Monroe County Legislature ever again and this is from someone who votes blue. I am so sick of the political crap in this state between the two current political parties that I cannot wait to retire and move somewhere else. Maybe we should bring back the Whig party?
I read in today's Democrat and Chronicle that the democrats(idiots) in the Monroe County legislature have asked Frank Alkhofer to resign from his position on the ethics board as a result of a perceived involvement in the Robatraud(sic?) scandal which, at present, involves Robert Morone and a slew of contractors. Frank is a victim in this case and I am 100% sure not involved at all in this scandal. The idiots just want to rake this man through the mud for absolutely no reason except for political gain for themselves. He did what every man in his position would have done..he contacted a friend to ask for advice on a project. He had the project done, paid for it thinking everything was above board not knowing that the contractors involved were also being paid by the county at the time of the project was being done. Hey, if you were not sure who to hire for a project that required contractors would you not ask a friend to recommend someone? Saying Frank has any responsibility in this mess is like the police charging someone, who unwittingly gave money to Bernard Maddof to invest for them, with a crime. The same thing could have happened to me if I needed contract work done on my house and asked a friend, who was familiar with workers in this area, for advice.
Why are the idiots piling on Frank in this case? Why, because they just want to make a name for themselves and expand the scandal to their benefit. What really stinks is that I am sure none of the idiots will ever read this and see how a regular Joe like me feels about them. I have had a chance to meet Frank and I like him. Even though he though he is a (gasp) republican I have and will continue to vote for him.
While this scandal continues to make me sick the people who had and paid for work done, thinking everything was above board, are victims plain and simple and should be treated as such. They should NOT be treated as being part of the scandal. The people who wasted our tax dollars are the ones who should be punished. I would like to know which idiot democrats in the legislature are the ones asking for his resignation so if I ever have the chance to 'NOT' vote for this person I will. If I don't I will never vote for a democrat for the Monroe County Legislature ever again and this is from someone who votes blue. I am so sick of the political crap in this state between the two current political parties that I cannot wait to retire and move somewhere else. Maybe we should bring back the Whig party?
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Things I would like to see
1) I would like to see the Geico Gecko attempt to sell insurance to either a hungry Les Stroud or Bear Grylls. I am sure the Gecko could easily obtain a 97% satisfaction rating lying in the stomach of either of those two survivalists.
2) T.O. have a career year in Buffalo leading the Bills to the playoffs for this first time in many moons despite Dick Jauron's best attempts to prevent it. For some reason I have always liked T.O. as he adds a certain savoir faire to a game that the NFL hierarchy trys to remove. People pay good money to get ENTERTAINED. Is that not the objective of football...to entertain? I enjoyed Billy 'White Shoes" Johnson and Elmo Wright when they played. Today's game is becoming too sterile.
3) The NY State senate beamed to the moon. Hasn't our state government done enough(well really it has not done anything worthy of note but that's for another blog) to embarrass us to the world? We continue to have the most dysfunctional government of any state in the union. I do not care who is running the show, just unlock the doors, let them in( so they can close them and lock them up again after they get in) and MAYBE, just maybe they may pass a bill or two before their next long break.
4) Tom Golisano stay in Florida and screw up their state government instead. Despite all of the good this man has done the senate coup will certainly tarnish his image, it has in mine. If this body does not reconvene again in the near future there is a good chance a certain bill, that needs to get passed yearly, won't get passed in a timely manner so that the 40+ counties in the state, that charge a higher tax rate like Monroe County, may have to raise property taxes to cover the hundreds of millions of dollars shortfall that will occur. If this happens the people of NY should get together for a class action lawsuit against Mr. Golisano to recoup the tax monies this man may cause them to have to pay out. He proudly has claimed responsibility for this mess, we should make him pay for it.
5) China go in and clean out the mess known as North Korea. Even the Chinese think this country and its leader, are out of touch with reality. We should make a deal with the Chinese government in which they go in and clean out the idiots and put in whatever government they want. As long as Seoul is clued in on what would happen they probably would sit back and not care. We do not need idiots like the ones in charge in North Korea running loose and threatening the world with their atomic weapons. While the Chinese are not that big on civil rights the people in North Korea would probably feel like they were in America after Kim Jong Il and his band of idiots are removed. This would probably never happen but its nice to think about it.
6) Kevin Williams transferred to Antarctica. Hey, the man likes snow and cold, lets make him happy.
7) The US and Cuba normalize relations. Hasn't this been going on long enough? For crying out loud we fought the North Vietnamese and lost a lot of good men but now we have near normal relations with that country. While Raul is still a Castro he seems to be more in touch and willing to deal than his brother. The only real thing preventing this is the bloc of Cuban nationals residing in Florida that continually want the status quo. Nixon went to China, maybe someone with enough foresight will go to Cuba. Cuba has never really known democracy. Fidel and his band of merry men overthrew a right wing dictatorship led by Batista. Batista was as corrupt as they come but I guess it did not matter.
8) The Hubble Space Telescope and the Mars Rovers last many more years. They have served us well and I hope they will continue to. They are a tribute to American technology and wherewithal!
2) T.O. have a career year in Buffalo leading the Bills to the playoffs for this first time in many moons despite Dick Jauron's best attempts to prevent it. For some reason I have always liked T.O. as he adds a certain savoir faire to a game that the NFL hierarchy trys to remove. People pay good money to get ENTERTAINED. Is that not the objective of football...to entertain? I enjoyed Billy 'White Shoes" Johnson and Elmo Wright when they played. Today's game is becoming too sterile.
3) The NY State senate beamed to the moon. Hasn't our state government done enough(well really it has not done anything worthy of note but that's for another blog) to embarrass us to the world? We continue to have the most dysfunctional government of any state in the union. I do not care who is running the show, just unlock the doors, let them in( so they can close them and lock them up again after they get in) and MAYBE, just maybe they may pass a bill or two before their next long break.
4) Tom Golisano stay in Florida and screw up their state government instead. Despite all of the good this man has done the senate coup will certainly tarnish his image, it has in mine. If this body does not reconvene again in the near future there is a good chance a certain bill, that needs to get passed yearly, won't get passed in a timely manner so that the 40+ counties in the state, that charge a higher tax rate like Monroe County, may have to raise property taxes to cover the hundreds of millions of dollars shortfall that will occur. If this happens the people of NY should get together for a class action lawsuit against Mr. Golisano to recoup the tax monies this man may cause them to have to pay out. He proudly has claimed responsibility for this mess, we should make him pay for it.
5) China go in and clean out the mess known as North Korea. Even the Chinese think this country and its leader, are out of touch with reality. We should make a deal with the Chinese government in which they go in and clean out the idiots and put in whatever government they want. As long as Seoul is clued in on what would happen they probably would sit back and not care. We do not need idiots like the ones in charge in North Korea running loose and threatening the world with their atomic weapons. While the Chinese are not that big on civil rights the people in North Korea would probably feel like they were in America after Kim Jong Il and his band of idiots are removed. This would probably never happen but its nice to think about it.
6) Kevin Williams transferred to Antarctica. Hey, the man likes snow and cold, lets make him happy.
7) The US and Cuba normalize relations. Hasn't this been going on long enough? For crying out loud we fought the North Vietnamese and lost a lot of good men but now we have near normal relations with that country. While Raul is still a Castro he seems to be more in touch and willing to deal than his brother. The only real thing preventing this is the bloc of Cuban nationals residing in Florida that continually want the status quo. Nixon went to China, maybe someone with enough foresight will go to Cuba. Cuba has never really known democracy. Fidel and his band of merry men overthrew a right wing dictatorship led by Batista. Batista was as corrupt as they come but I guess it did not matter.
8) The Hubble Space Telescope and the Mars Rovers last many more years. They have served us well and I hope they will continue to. They are a tribute to American technology and wherewithal!
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