This was on my home web page today:
"Purse, cocaine not hers, Hilton told Vegas police (AP) - 1 hour ago
AP - Paris Hilton had an explanation for police: The rolling papers, $1,300 in cash and several credit cards were hers, but not the purse they were in."
I read this and nearly gagged in disbelief. Who does Paris Hilton think we are...a bunch of dumb clucks like she is? Does she really believe that the public will swallow this horse crap? Maybe her fans will but anyone with a shred of intelligence will just recognize her for the dough head she is. Hey, maybe that will be Roger Clemens' excuse...'Well the syringe was mine but what was inside it was not.'
These days far too many 'celebrities' get away with all sorts of stuff that the average Joe would be in jail for a long while. Look at that skank Lindsey Lohan. She barely spent enough time in her jail cell to get her bed warm AND THEN she manges to get out of rehab long before her scheduled release date. Will this encourage this skank to shape up? No it won't. Slaps on the wrist only leads them to believe that they can get away with anything because of their celebrity status. She will continue her spiral downward until she meets an early end and you know what? I won't give a damn. Besides, I wouldn't touch Lindsey, let alone Paris, with Mr. Ed's wiener. I can hear poor Mr. Ed now..."Oh Wilburrrr...I itch down there Wilburrrr....Call me a Vet Wilburrr! Get me some Penicillin Wilburrr!' OK, I am getting a little disgusting but so are the lives that both Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan lead.
These so called celebrities are horrible role models for today's youth. It is sad that they get as much press as they do as they are walking advertisements for partying, drugs and unlimited sex. Its bad enough that today's youth are growing up to be the laziest generation that we have ever produced but to add this list of nonsense to it is very worrisome. With my generation if we wanted something we worked for it. We earned the money to get what we wanted. Not today. Today is the I want it now and you had better get it for me generation and you know what. They usually get it without lifting a finger. What did Paris Hilton do to earn her status? NOTHING!!! She was just born into the right family, that is all. And look what she has become. A walking mound of useless, oxygen wasting, trash. Most people have to work their butts off just to get anything, Not Paris as she just bonks her butt off.
What your King would like to see is less focus on the skank whores of the world and more on the hard working people who keep this country running. But will we see that? No. Skank sells newspapers. Skank generates ratings. Skank sells magazines. Heroes don't. When was the last time People magazine featured our soldiers in action? How many times have you seen 'Soldier of Fortune' in the rack near the cashier? You know the answer to those two questions.
That is enough pontificating for tonight my friends. Please tune in again soon when your King presents another episode of "As the Moron Turns"!
Monday, August 30, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Mumblings From a Moron...I mean From Moronica
1) I had to laugh tonight. I was watching the Weather Channel and they had a commercial for some kind of show that they were going to present about the Titanic. The narrator of the commercial actually said that 'the scientists were going to send a sub down to find out what happened to the Titanic after it hit the iceberg'. They should have come to me first as I could have saved them a lot of time and effort....it sank.
2) Join with me and picture this. I am talking about the proposed mating of two TV personalities, one local and one national. They are Rachel Barnhart for Rochester's channel 13 news and Sheamus from World Wrestling Entertainment. Now these two are two of the whitest white people I have ever seen with the reddest hair on this planet. They are literally human jars of mayonnaise with red caps. If these two mated I swear their kids would be neon white with hair as red as a flashing police light. The sun would not be their friend.
3) Is there a commercial funnier than the Travelers Insurance commercial with the rattlesnake and the bunny. You hear the snake, you see the poor bunny and then the bunny starts laughing it's ass off. You see the rattlesnake was in an accident and lost its rattle and had a sub par part put on (a baby's rattle taped on with duct tape). The bunny's friends come out to see what is so funny and they start laughing at the poor snake. The snake looks at his crappy rattle and soon hides his face with the rattle going completely limp....brilliant. I give a close second place to the Geico commercials with pitcher Randy Johnson.
4) Please let me know if there is a football player more greedy than the Jets #24 Darnell(?) Revis. What he is asking for is a crime. While he is very good the money that these guys now demand is a sin. Hey, its just a game. If worse comes to worse they can do without you. He has three years left on the contract he happily signed a couple of years ago. Honor your contract and report for work you greedy slug.
5) Your King was nearly assassinated, please no cheering, at the Deerfield golf course on Friday the thirteenth. It was our last hole in the tournament and all of a sudden we hear a distant "FORE". Well, the golf cart that your king had just gotten out of was bombed by a ball. This was one bad shot, I mean really bad. It was forty yards left of and about fifteen yards deeper than the green he supposedly was aiming at. It had to be a assassination attempt as no one is that bad, not even your King. Speaking of this tournament your King had probably more than his fair share of brilliant shots during it. My seven wood from 210 yards out on the par 5 18th hole to within a foot of the cup was the talk of the clubhouse. Well, not really but it should have been. It was the easiest eagle putt I ever made.
Well, while I am in the mood to write more, my mind just is not producing like it should. I am sure it has to be a disappointment to all of my royal subjects of Moronica that I do not opine more often. Well, what I need is a long vacation on a nice beach with a cooler full of beer and a cute beach bunny at my side. Yeah, right as we all know THAT is going to happen. While I am dreaming I may as well wish for a pony as I have a better chance of getting that. Until my brain, and will to write, returns to normal my writings will be a bit sporadic but, my friends, please stay thirsty for my written droppings. Your King wishes you a pleasant evening.
2) Join with me and picture this. I am talking about the proposed mating of two TV personalities, one local and one national. They are Rachel Barnhart for Rochester's channel 13 news and Sheamus from World Wrestling Entertainment. Now these two are two of the whitest white people I have ever seen with the reddest hair on this planet. They are literally human jars of mayonnaise with red caps. If these two mated I swear their kids would be neon white with hair as red as a flashing police light. The sun would not be their friend.
3) Is there a commercial funnier than the Travelers Insurance commercial with the rattlesnake and the bunny. You hear the snake, you see the poor bunny and then the bunny starts laughing it's ass off. You see the rattlesnake was in an accident and lost its rattle and had a sub par part put on (a baby's rattle taped on with duct tape). The bunny's friends come out to see what is so funny and they start laughing at the poor snake. The snake looks at his crappy rattle and soon hides his face with the rattle going completely limp....brilliant. I give a close second place to the Geico commercials with pitcher Randy Johnson.
4) Please let me know if there is a football player more greedy than the Jets #24 Darnell(?) Revis. What he is asking for is a crime. While he is very good the money that these guys now demand is a sin. Hey, its just a game. If worse comes to worse they can do without you. He has three years left on the contract he happily signed a couple of years ago. Honor your contract and report for work you greedy slug.
5) Your King was nearly assassinated, please no cheering, at the Deerfield golf course on Friday the thirteenth. It was our last hole in the tournament and all of a sudden we hear a distant "FORE". Well, the golf cart that your king had just gotten out of was bombed by a ball. This was one bad shot, I mean really bad. It was forty yards left of and about fifteen yards deeper than the green he supposedly was aiming at. It had to be a assassination attempt as no one is that bad, not even your King. Speaking of this tournament your King had probably more than his fair share of brilliant shots during it. My seven wood from 210 yards out on the par 5 18th hole to within a foot of the cup was the talk of the clubhouse. Well, not really but it should have been. It was the easiest eagle putt I ever made.
Well, while I am in the mood to write more, my mind just is not producing like it should. I am sure it has to be a disappointment to all of my royal subjects of Moronica that I do not opine more often. Well, what I need is a long vacation on a nice beach with a cooler full of beer and a cute beach bunny at my side. Yeah, right as we all know THAT is going to happen. While I am dreaming I may as well wish for a pony as I have a better chance of getting that. Until my brain, and will to write, returns to normal my writings will be a bit sporadic but, my friends, please stay thirsty for my written droppings. Your King wishes you a pleasant evening.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
King Vs. Lost Liberties
In the past month or so, in the Rochester Democrat and Chronicle newspaper's 'Letters to the Editor' section, I have read with amusement the 'tennis match' involving readers writings in regards to 'liberties being lost' thanks to the Obama administration. The letter by a young lady in Canandaigua in today's, Saturday, August 14, paper has finally spurred me to chime in on it because it was a complete joke.
The title of the letter is "Lost Liberties are adding up" and just the title of which makes me laugh out loud. Let us look at this letter paragraph by paragraph and see what adds up.
1) The first paragraph talks about the administration's takeover of the auto industry and the resulting forced closure of 'thousands of profitable dealerships'. First of all this had to do with the bankruptcy aspect of GM and Chrysler. To emerge from bankruptcy they had to 'trim the ship'. Part of trimming the ship was to cut back on the unprofitable dealerships across the nation. It is true that some weakly profitable dealerships also met their maker, or made changes in order to survive, but the dealerships that survived are now stronger because of it. The vast majority of the dealers that closed were unprofitable and yes some jobs were lost but with the increased sales at the surviving dealerships some jobs were created.
2) The second paragraph paragraph states that GM and Chrysler shareholders saw their investments confiscated by the government in favor of the UAW. This is a crock of Hee Haw. GM and Chrysler would no longer exist if it were not for the government's bailout. The government did not confiscate investor holdings. First of all the stocks for both companies were nearly worthless anyways prior to the bankruptcy and when their bankruptcies were filed that finished off the stock. Now tens of thousands of auto industry and auto industry related jobs were saved thanks to the government bailouts. Companies that were dinosaurs and would not have survived much longer are now leaner and meaner and for two quarters in a row now GM has posted a profit. I have not seen Chrysler's numbers. The state of Michigan would have become a welfare state if not for government intervention. Even though Michigan is not in a pleasant state right now can you imagine what it would be like without the auto industry being saved? It would be pathetic.
Notice how I have not addressed any liberties that would affect you or I personally.
3) The third paragraph states that the administration is ignoring their own scientists recommendations by imposing a moratorium on offshore drilling resulting in huge job losses. This statement is another crock of Hee Haw. First of all it is only a six month moratorium on deep sea drilling. In other words the government wants to take a time out to research what happened and to possibly take steps to prevent this from happening again. When the space shuttle disasters happened did NASA keep on flying? No, they did not. They declared a moratorium on flights until they were able to research the problem and effect proper safeguards to prevent the same disaster from happening again. The companies that drill in the North Sea have much tougher guidelines to adhere to in order to be able to deep sea drill that will prevent what happened in the gulf from happening there. They have much better oil leak prevention technologies in place. Damn those socialist governments and their regulations!!! This paragraph also says that this moratorium has also resulted in huge job losses in Louisiana, I would like to see her figures on this as I would bet that the job losses created by the spill will create many more and longer duration job losses than this six month moratorium ever will. The tourism industry and the fishing industry and their dependent companies have lost many jobs. Jobs that will not return after six months.
The letter finishes by stating that "while these examples may may not impact you, but a government powerful enough to destroy livelihoods is powerful enough to do the same to all citizens". OK, first of all the letter does not state a single example of a liberty that has been infringed on. Auto industry livelihoods were saved by the government's auto industry bailout. People are still at work making cars in this country for GM and Chrysler instead of being on unemployment or welfare and this includes all of the other industries that depend on GM and Chrysler for their work. If this did not happen all that really would have been left was Ford and all of the foreign companies.
What would happen if we let the oil industries regulate themselves? I cannot, nor would I want to, imagine what our world would look like. Government regulations keep them in line and they need to be made tougher. Hey, when these companies make five to ten billion dollars in profit per quarter they can afford to make each well safer. The technology is there and they should be forced to use it. A lot of people want pristine areas opened up for drilling. At this time that would be a joke unless future gulf like disasters can be prevented completely. The Obama administration was willing to open up more areas for exploration but this has made them rethink this.
Losing these 'liberties' allowed the government to save American auto industry jobs and will help prevent future environmental disasters. I guess the letter writer would have preferred that hundreds of thousands of auto industry, and their dependant companies, workers be out of work and the Gulf of Mexico to be akin to the floor of an auto repair shop.
Your King has spoken.
The title of the letter is "Lost Liberties are adding up" and just the title of which makes me laugh out loud. Let us look at this letter paragraph by paragraph and see what adds up.
1) The first paragraph talks about the administration's takeover of the auto industry and the resulting forced closure of 'thousands of profitable dealerships'. First of all this had to do with the bankruptcy aspect of GM and Chrysler. To emerge from bankruptcy they had to 'trim the ship'. Part of trimming the ship was to cut back on the unprofitable dealerships across the nation. It is true that some weakly profitable dealerships also met their maker, or made changes in order to survive, but the dealerships that survived are now stronger because of it. The vast majority of the dealers that closed were unprofitable and yes some jobs were lost but with the increased sales at the surviving dealerships some jobs were created.
2) The second paragraph paragraph states that GM and Chrysler shareholders saw their investments confiscated by the government in favor of the UAW. This is a crock of Hee Haw. GM and Chrysler would no longer exist if it were not for the government's bailout. The government did not confiscate investor holdings. First of all the stocks for both companies were nearly worthless anyways prior to the bankruptcy and when their bankruptcies were filed that finished off the stock. Now tens of thousands of auto industry and auto industry related jobs were saved thanks to the government bailouts. Companies that were dinosaurs and would not have survived much longer are now leaner and meaner and for two quarters in a row now GM has posted a profit. I have not seen Chrysler's numbers. The state of Michigan would have become a welfare state if not for government intervention. Even though Michigan is not in a pleasant state right now can you imagine what it would be like without the auto industry being saved? It would be pathetic.
Notice how I have not addressed any liberties that would affect you or I personally.
3) The third paragraph states that the administration is ignoring their own scientists recommendations by imposing a moratorium on offshore drilling resulting in huge job losses. This statement is another crock of Hee Haw. First of all it is only a six month moratorium on deep sea drilling. In other words the government wants to take a time out to research what happened and to possibly take steps to prevent this from happening again. When the space shuttle disasters happened did NASA keep on flying? No, they did not. They declared a moratorium on flights until they were able to research the problem and effect proper safeguards to prevent the same disaster from happening again. The companies that drill in the North Sea have much tougher guidelines to adhere to in order to be able to deep sea drill that will prevent what happened in the gulf from happening there. They have much better oil leak prevention technologies in place. Damn those socialist governments and their regulations!!! This paragraph also says that this moratorium has also resulted in huge job losses in Louisiana, I would like to see her figures on this as I would bet that the job losses created by the spill will create many more and longer duration job losses than this six month moratorium ever will. The tourism industry and the fishing industry and their dependent companies have lost many jobs. Jobs that will not return after six months.
The letter finishes by stating that "while these examples may may not impact you, but a government powerful enough to destroy livelihoods is powerful enough to do the same to all citizens". OK, first of all the letter does not state a single example of a liberty that has been infringed on. Auto industry livelihoods were saved by the government's auto industry bailout. People are still at work making cars in this country for GM and Chrysler instead of being on unemployment or welfare and this includes all of the other industries that depend on GM and Chrysler for their work. If this did not happen all that really would have been left was Ford and all of the foreign companies.
What would happen if we let the oil industries regulate themselves? I cannot, nor would I want to, imagine what our world would look like. Government regulations keep them in line and they need to be made tougher. Hey, when these companies make five to ten billion dollars in profit per quarter they can afford to make each well safer. The technology is there and they should be forced to use it. A lot of people want pristine areas opened up for drilling. At this time that would be a joke unless future gulf like disasters can be prevented completely. The Obama administration was willing to open up more areas for exploration but this has made them rethink this.
Losing these 'liberties' allowed the government to save American auto industry jobs and will help prevent future environmental disasters. I guess the letter writer would have preferred that hundreds of thousands of auto industry, and their dependant companies, workers be out of work and the Gulf of Mexico to be akin to the floor of an auto repair shop.
Your King has spoken.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Mumblings from Moronica
1) So New York State finally has a budget. Big deal. Time for New Yorkers to get soaked again. They increased the bloody thing by another 7+%. It sure would be nice sometime to see it remain stable or reduced but that will not happen in our lifetimes. Not with the current band of idiots that we elected.
2) With the current real estate market it looks like Moronica will remain where it is for the foreseeable future. It has until October 31st to sell before I take it off the market for the winter. I would prefer to keep it off the market but the payments are a lot more than 40% of Moronica's net income. Ideally it should be around 30%. I am holding my own though and that leads me to wonder what the former Moronican treasurer did with all of the funds in the treasury. Your King has learned a valuable lesson, never, NEVER let the wife control the finances.
3) Well, BP has finally capped the well. Only after many months of leaking that has turned the Gulf of Mexico into the floor of an auto repair shop. They are still cleaning up in Alaska after over twenty years since the Exxon Valdez disaster. This leak, even after they figure in all the oil that was collected and or burned off, is still many times worse than that. Lets hope BP puts on a better face than Exxon as Exxon is still fighting to avoid paying for their mess. At least BP seems to be manning up for the time being.
4) How about our Rochester sports teams? The Rhinos put us to sleep and the Red Wings should be put to sleep. I do not know what it is about D-2 soccer but, and believe me I love the sport, they play the most boring brand of futbol you can imagine. I have watched the Rhinos play a few games on the telly and I think I have seen them score one goal. SNORE!!! At least the Red Bulls are on the telly. I will give the MLS credit as for the most part the games are a lot more entertaining than the Rhino games even though there is the occasional clunker. In regards to the Red Wings, the less said the better.
5) My hats off to Spain. They are the 2010 World Cup champions. Despite the attempts by the Netherlands to hack them to pieces they managed to get the game winner late in the game. At halftime it was obvious that the Netherlands did not go into the locker room to devise some strategy but to sharpen their spikes. The third place game between Germany and Uruguay was much more fun to watch.
6) One more bit of soccer fun. Poor Robert Green, the goalie for England whose 'Hand of Clod' moment gave the United States a tie with them, is feeling the heat getting ready for the upcoming Premier League season. He plays for West Ham and everyone knows that wherever the team plays this year he will hear it from the fans. It is said that his own team mates are trying to toughen him up by insulting him during practice to get him ready for it. Only in England.
7) The Town of Gates is finally getting a new library. Sue Swanton, a democrat whose main platform while trying to unseat Ralph Esposito as supervisor was to get a new library must be happy. The town board voted 4-1 for it. What is funny is that the lone vote against the new library was cast by the lone democrat. Go figure.
Sue Swanton does have a good point about the building plans for the new Library. They are planning to build a two story facility for it. She says a good library should only be one story and I side with her on this one. They should rethink it and build a proper library. Do it right the first time.
Well, That is it from Moronica tonight. Stay thirsty my friends.
2) With the current real estate market it looks like Moronica will remain where it is for the foreseeable future. It has until October 31st to sell before I take it off the market for the winter. I would prefer to keep it off the market but the payments are a lot more than 40% of Moronica's net income. Ideally it should be around 30%. I am holding my own though and that leads me to wonder what the former Moronican treasurer did with all of the funds in the treasury. Your King has learned a valuable lesson, never, NEVER let the wife control the finances.
3) Well, BP has finally capped the well. Only after many months of leaking that has turned the Gulf of Mexico into the floor of an auto repair shop. They are still cleaning up in Alaska after over twenty years since the Exxon Valdez disaster. This leak, even after they figure in all the oil that was collected and or burned off, is still many times worse than that. Lets hope BP puts on a better face than Exxon as Exxon is still fighting to avoid paying for their mess. At least BP seems to be manning up for the time being.
4) How about our Rochester sports teams? The Rhinos put us to sleep and the Red Wings should be put to sleep. I do not know what it is about D-2 soccer but, and believe me I love the sport, they play the most boring brand of futbol you can imagine. I have watched the Rhinos play a few games on the telly and I think I have seen them score one goal. SNORE!!! At least the Red Bulls are on the telly. I will give the MLS credit as for the most part the games are a lot more entertaining than the Rhino games even though there is the occasional clunker. In regards to the Red Wings, the less said the better.
5) My hats off to Spain. They are the 2010 World Cup champions. Despite the attempts by the Netherlands to hack them to pieces they managed to get the game winner late in the game. At halftime it was obvious that the Netherlands did not go into the locker room to devise some strategy but to sharpen their spikes. The third place game between Germany and Uruguay was much more fun to watch.
6) One more bit of soccer fun. Poor Robert Green, the goalie for England whose 'Hand of Clod' moment gave the United States a tie with them, is feeling the heat getting ready for the upcoming Premier League season. He plays for West Ham and everyone knows that wherever the team plays this year he will hear it from the fans. It is said that his own team mates are trying to toughen him up by insulting him during practice to get him ready for it. Only in England.
7) The Town of Gates is finally getting a new library. Sue Swanton, a democrat whose main platform while trying to unseat Ralph Esposito as supervisor was to get a new library must be happy. The town board voted 4-1 for it. What is funny is that the lone vote against the new library was cast by the lone democrat. Go figure.
Sue Swanton does have a good point about the building plans for the new Library. They are planning to build a two story facility for it. She says a good library should only be one story and I side with her on this one. They should rethink it and build a proper library. Do it right the first time.
Well, That is it from Moronica tonight. Stay thirsty my friends.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Time to Play Name Association!!
Again it is time for me to provide a name and its relevant association or wish:
Lebron James - Jerk for abandoning Cleveland
ESPN - Fools for giving us an hour of LeBron
Captain Phil Harris - Gone too soon. May all of your crab pots be full upstairs.
BP's Tony Hayward - From CEO to the Gulag
King Dinglefritz - A new queen and a stable Moronica.
Moronica's Ex Queen- An allergy to whoppers
The Royal Mutt - seriously missed
Repoman - a return from his summer break
Mr. Bill - an end to his vow of silence
NY State Legislators - Brains and courage. They will never have a heart as it will reject them. And there is a better than average chance that the brains will too.
Santa - A speedy recovery from his adventure.
Kevin Williams Ch. 10 meteorologist - A transfer to Thule Greenland so he can enjoy snow and cold year round.
France - 23 new national soccer players to replace the ones that are spoiled rotten. (And they got exactly what they deserved in South Africa - A quick trip home as they did not deserve to be there.)
Ghana forward Gyan - A good hiding place after missing that penalty kick in the last seconds of overtime that eventually resulted in Ghana being ousted by Uruguay.
Jersey Shore - A quick death
Christina Applegate - King Dinglefritz's phone #.
Okay, After that I guess enough is enough. Have a pleasant evening.
Addendum
Did I say Christina Applegate??? What I really meant to say:
Susanna Hoffs, lead singer of the Bangles - King Dinglefritz's phone #, address and anything else to get her to Moronica.
What I wouldn't give to have a Time Tunnel and go back to 1986 and have a front row seat for a Bangles concert. OMG is she HOT!!!!!
Lebron James - Jerk for abandoning Cleveland
ESPN - Fools for giving us an hour of LeBron
Captain Phil Harris - Gone too soon. May all of your crab pots be full upstairs.
BP's Tony Hayward - From CEO to the Gulag
King Dinglefritz - A new queen and a stable Moronica.
Moronica's Ex Queen- An allergy to whoppers
The Royal Mutt - seriously missed
Repoman - a return from his summer break
Mr. Bill - an end to his vow of silence
NY State Legislators - Brains and courage. They will never have a heart as it will reject them. And there is a better than average chance that the brains will too.
Santa - A speedy recovery from his adventure.
Kevin Williams Ch. 10 meteorologist - A transfer to Thule Greenland so he can enjoy snow and cold year round.
France - 23 new national soccer players to replace the ones that are spoiled rotten. (And they got exactly what they deserved in South Africa - A quick trip home as they did not deserve to be there.)
Ghana forward Gyan - A good hiding place after missing that penalty kick in the last seconds of overtime that eventually resulted in Ghana being ousted by Uruguay.
Jersey Shore - A quick death
Christina Applegate - King Dinglefritz's phone #.
Okay, After that I guess enough is enough. Have a pleasant evening.
Addendum
Did I say Christina Applegate??? What I really meant to say:
Susanna Hoffs, lead singer of the Bangles - King Dinglefritz's phone #, address and anything else to get her to Moronica.
What I wouldn't give to have a Time Tunnel and go back to 1986 and have a front row seat for a Bangles concert. OMG is she HOT!!!!!
Your King's Break is Nearly Over
Well, I have rested long enough. Sometimes you just have to step away for a while and let the creative juices recharge. And sometimes while there may be something interesting to write about the desire is just not there. I could write about England's goalkeeper and his hands of stone. I could write about the Mali Referee who singlehandedly almost screwed the United States. I could write about our beloved New York State Legislature and their goal of going an entire year without a budget. I could even write about my ex queen and her new beau the Burger King. But I won't.
I will keep this update short. My golf game is coming around as I finally seem to be playing like my old self again after many years of forced retirement. Lately I have been averaging between 86-94 with three of the last five rounds in the eighties. That sure beats the 95-100 that I was averaging last year. I can at least look forward again to maybe, just maybe breaking eighty again. I am fifty one and can still crush the ball and if my short game continues to improve, well who knows.
BP, which I guess stands for British Pinheads, has finally capped the gushing well. Now if they can plug it up permanently that will make the folks in the Gulf region feel better but it will be many years before that area ever returns to normal. Maybe they will start drilling wells with better anti leak measures like they do in Europe now. Again, I doubt it.
The World Cup is over and once again Ghana has knocked us out of contention. Maybe the U.S.A. should declare war on Ghana and annex them into our country before the next Cup. Hey, if you can't beat them, absorb them. It worked for Landru. Just ask Captain Kirk.
I hope Governor Paterson gets his wish and gets the soda tax enacted. That may be the way my slightly over sized belly of mine will finally return to a more normal state. But then again I am not fat, just big boned. It will be a good incentive for me to end my Coke (a-Cola) addiction. I won't buy soda anymore if the tax does go through just to spit in New York State's eye. (I will stock up before tax day however).
I have always liked Hillary Clinton and after reading an article about her in today's paper it seems that her fan base is growing. World leaders respect her and even some members of the right (GASP!!) seem impressed by her stances. The leaders have more respect for her than they have for our current president. It seems that we elected the wrong democrat to lead us. She is a strong Secretary of State and it looks like she was Obama's best appointment so far. Still I think she would rather be living in that big white house somewhere in Washington D.C. instead.
Thats enough garbage for this edition. Its good to be back. Stay thirsty my friends!
I will keep this update short. My golf game is coming around as I finally seem to be playing like my old self again after many years of forced retirement. Lately I have been averaging between 86-94 with three of the last five rounds in the eighties. That sure beats the 95-100 that I was averaging last year. I can at least look forward again to maybe, just maybe breaking eighty again. I am fifty one and can still crush the ball and if my short game continues to improve, well who knows.
BP, which I guess stands for British Pinheads, has finally capped the gushing well. Now if they can plug it up permanently that will make the folks in the Gulf region feel better but it will be many years before that area ever returns to normal. Maybe they will start drilling wells with better anti leak measures like they do in Europe now. Again, I doubt it.
The World Cup is over and once again Ghana has knocked us out of contention. Maybe the U.S.A. should declare war on Ghana and annex them into our country before the next Cup. Hey, if you can't beat them, absorb them. It worked for Landru. Just ask Captain Kirk.
I hope Governor Paterson gets his wish and gets the soda tax enacted. That may be the way my slightly over sized belly of mine will finally return to a more normal state. But then again I am not fat, just big boned. It will be a good incentive for me to end my Coke (a-Cola) addiction. I won't buy soda anymore if the tax does go through just to spit in New York State's eye. (I will stock up before tax day however).
I have always liked Hillary Clinton and after reading an article about her in today's paper it seems that her fan base is growing. World leaders respect her and even some members of the right (GASP!!) seem impressed by her stances. The leaders have more respect for her than they have for our current president. It seems that we elected the wrong democrat to lead us. She is a strong Secretary of State and it looks like she was Obama's best appointment so far. Still I think she would rather be living in that big white house somewhere in Washington D.C. instead.
Thats enough garbage for this edition. Its good to be back. Stay thirsty my friends!
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Moronic Tidbits from your Favorite Monarch
1) For some reason I seem to enjoy watching women's college softball on ESPN. It is not like they are dressed scantily like gymnasts but I played a lot of modified fast pitch softball when I was younger, Watching last night's game between Arizona and UCLA brought back memories. Bad memories. Arizona had UCLA by the throat with two out in the top of the seventh when a blunder by the outfielders led to UCLA evening the score and then winning in extra innings. It brought back bad memories when I pitched for some notoriously bad fielding teams. We would get two quick outs and then clank, an error and before you know it the other team has six runs up on the board. Your team's pitching is only as good as its fielding. I was not a bad pitcher but in a modified fast pitch league the ball is VERY hittable and I needed good fielding. On most of the teams I played for whenever the ball was hit it was an adventure but I did get to pitch for a great fielding team for about six years. We ended up winning three championships until everyone went their separate ways and we disbanded. It is too bad as we had a lot of fun.
2) Well, Memorial day Sunday was one for the books on the golf course. I finally played a round like my old self. A good consistent round for a score of 87 ( I had a +9 in the modified D'Aprile scoring system) and I still left about 5 strokes out on the course because of stupidity. Still your King won for the second time this year. I felt bad for the poor sap in the group ahead of us that finished +8 and was counting his cash until I showed up. I made sixty dollars. It paid for a round of drinks and it filled up my gas tank and then it was gone. Oh well. I was going to golf this past Sunday but when I woke up and looked out the window I saw an old man in a wooden boat in the stream next to my house loading up animals by the twos. I decided it was a touch too wet to play and went back to sleep. It figures since I was finally rounding into form that mother nature would stick it to me.
3) How about that 'great' call by umpire Jim Joyce the other night boning that poor pitcher from Detroit of his perfect game. Well, I have issued a Royal Order declaring that the game is to be recorded as perfect and reversing the umps call. At least Galarraga has a perfect game per Moronica. The ump gets points for his admission of his botch and Galarraga gets points for his demeanor after the call. The only loser is that slug Bud Selig for not doing the right thing and reversing the call. He is a jerk.
4) The Queen is almost totally moved out. Just a couple of big ticket items and that is it. She is the Burger King's problem now. I cannot wait until it is over. I will chill a bottle of champagne and open it when the house is completely empty of all of her crap. And I do mean ALL of her crap. I hope she feels that she made the right choice by fooling around on your King and then leaving him but hey, I am looking forward to not seeing the finances going into the toilet because of her bad management. I have learned a valuable lesson. Never trust a woman with the checkbook!!! PS: The house has never been cleaner.
5) The World Cup is almost upon us and your King will be watching as many games as he can. Hopefully everything will go smoothly for the games down in South Africa and with a bit of luck the USA will move on. What a shock it would be to the world if we could win the bloody thing. If we can get into the knockout round anything can happen. Go USA!!
6) Your King is still trying to sell the present site of Moronica but since the tax break ended on April 30th I have only had one person be shown the kingdom by the realtor. Looks like I will have to batten down the hatches for the long haul. It will be a lot of extra work and stretching of the dollar but I am looking forward to it. Eventually I may have to sell it to satisfy the Queen but who knows....There could always be a rogue meteor....LOL
Your King wishes you a good night from Moronica....before I get myself in trouble.
2) Well, Memorial day Sunday was one for the books on the golf course. I finally played a round like my old self. A good consistent round for a score of 87 ( I had a +9 in the modified D'Aprile scoring system) and I still left about 5 strokes out on the course because of stupidity. Still your King won for the second time this year. I felt bad for the poor sap in the group ahead of us that finished +8 and was counting his cash until I showed up. I made sixty dollars. It paid for a round of drinks and it filled up my gas tank and then it was gone. Oh well. I was going to golf this past Sunday but when I woke up and looked out the window I saw an old man in a wooden boat in the stream next to my house loading up animals by the twos. I decided it was a touch too wet to play and went back to sleep. It figures since I was finally rounding into form that mother nature would stick it to me.
3) How about that 'great' call by umpire Jim Joyce the other night boning that poor pitcher from Detroit of his perfect game. Well, I have issued a Royal Order declaring that the game is to be recorded as perfect and reversing the umps call. At least Galarraga has a perfect game per Moronica. The ump gets points for his admission of his botch and Galarraga gets points for his demeanor after the call. The only loser is that slug Bud Selig for not doing the right thing and reversing the call. He is a jerk.
4) The Queen is almost totally moved out. Just a couple of big ticket items and that is it. She is the Burger King's problem now. I cannot wait until it is over. I will chill a bottle of champagne and open it when the house is completely empty of all of her crap. And I do mean ALL of her crap. I hope she feels that she made the right choice by fooling around on your King and then leaving him but hey, I am looking forward to not seeing the finances going into the toilet because of her bad management. I have learned a valuable lesson. Never trust a woman with the checkbook!!! PS: The house has never been cleaner.
5) The World Cup is almost upon us and your King will be watching as many games as he can. Hopefully everything will go smoothly for the games down in South Africa and with a bit of luck the USA will move on. What a shock it would be to the world if we could win the bloody thing. If we can get into the knockout round anything can happen. Go USA!!
6) Your King is still trying to sell the present site of Moronica but since the tax break ended on April 30th I have only had one person be shown the kingdom by the realtor. Looks like I will have to batten down the hatches for the long haul. It will be a lot of extra work and stretching of the dollar but I am looking forward to it. Eventually I may have to sell it to satisfy the Queen but who knows....There could always be a rogue meteor....LOL
Your King wishes you a good night from Moronica....before I get myself in trouble.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Moronic Horse#*%! from Albany
Well, I just found out today that our cash strapped state has just floated a 25 million dollar loan to keep three dying horse racing tracks open. The race tracks are Saratoga, Aqueduct and Belmont. The New York Racing Association (NYRA) was planning on closing these tracks after the June 5th Belmont Stakes mainly because no one goes to the races anymore. These tracks just hemorrhage money and that is always a good reason to close a facility. But New York State, in all its infinite wisdom, has decided to 'loan' these tracks the afore mentioned money. Being that these tracks will probably never, ever, become profitable again who does New York State expect to pay back this loan? Santa? Nope, It is going to the taxpayers of New York State that will be stuck in the rear again thanks to another poor decision by the biggest group of fools this side of the Keystone Kops.
What really drives me nuts about this is that New York State's budget is now almost two months overdue with no end in site as to when anything will be passed. While our collective groups of representatives in Albany sit on their asses contractors doing important road construction projects have not been paid since April 1st. A lot of projects now sit idle because of this and many more will soon join them. Businesses that have been affected by these road closures for the 'construction' are dying as customers cannot reach them because of these halfway done messes. I do not blame the contractors for halting their work as if they have no money coming in how are they going to pay their employees or pay for construction materials? The days of 'I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today' are long gone. But New York State will dig deep to float dying horse racing tracks cash. Cash that is badly needed elsewhere.
Again, the New York State government needs to be reduced to rubble and rebuilt from scratch. The legislature needs to be reduced to a single legislative house from its current two house setup that 'resembles' the United States Congress. The lines for each representative district for the single house needs to be drawn up by a completely nonpartisan group to prevent the usual gerrymandering that often accompanies redistricting. Just look at Louise Slaughter's congressional district if you want to see an absolutely perfect moronic example of how not to draw a district.
The stupidity needs to stop and it needs to stop now. Loaning money that we all know will never be paid back in these dire times is probably one of the most moronic things that our state government has ever done. But then again, at least Seabiscuit will still have his place to run around while Apu's mini mart that is stuck on the other side of a closed road is dying a swift and painful death from the inability of the consumer to reach it. Governor Paterson and the state's band of idiots had better take a step back and recheck their priorities. They work for us, not for the Democrat or Republican parties that they are members of. They should be there working on the budget, not figuring out ways to loan money that will more than likely end up flogging a dead horse.
Moronica, using my Kingdom as an example, has seen its treasury reduced quite a bit recently but with proper cutbacks and keen eyed austerity measures it continues to survive, though with great difficulty. Your King has a clue in regards to making ends meet. New York State does not.
What really drives me nuts about this is that New York State's budget is now almost two months overdue with no end in site as to when anything will be passed. While our collective groups of representatives in Albany sit on their asses contractors doing important road construction projects have not been paid since April 1st. A lot of projects now sit idle because of this and many more will soon join them. Businesses that have been affected by these road closures for the 'construction' are dying as customers cannot reach them because of these halfway done messes. I do not blame the contractors for halting their work as if they have no money coming in how are they going to pay their employees or pay for construction materials? The days of 'I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today' are long gone. But New York State will dig deep to float dying horse racing tracks cash. Cash that is badly needed elsewhere.
Again, the New York State government needs to be reduced to rubble and rebuilt from scratch. The legislature needs to be reduced to a single legislative house from its current two house setup that 'resembles' the United States Congress. The lines for each representative district for the single house needs to be drawn up by a completely nonpartisan group to prevent the usual gerrymandering that often accompanies redistricting. Just look at Louise Slaughter's congressional district if you want to see an absolutely perfect moronic example of how not to draw a district.
The stupidity needs to stop and it needs to stop now. Loaning money that we all know will never be paid back in these dire times is probably one of the most moronic things that our state government has ever done. But then again, at least Seabiscuit will still have his place to run around while Apu's mini mart that is stuck on the other side of a closed road is dying a swift and painful death from the inability of the consumer to reach it. Governor Paterson and the state's band of idiots had better take a step back and recheck their priorities. They work for us, not for the Democrat or Republican parties that they are members of. They should be there working on the budget, not figuring out ways to loan money that will more than likely end up flogging a dead horse.
Moronica, using my Kingdom as an example, has seen its treasury reduced quite a bit recently but with proper cutbacks and keen eyed austerity measures it continues to survive, though with great difficulty. Your King has a clue in regards to making ends meet. New York State does not.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Just When You Thought They Should be Put to Sleep
Just when you thought the Geico Cavemen had run their course and should be put down they come back with a commercial that is reminiscent of the ads they starred in when they first made their appearance on the national scene years ago. The ads then were witty and down right humorous. Lately the Geico cavemen ads have been about as bad as the ill fated Cavemen TV series that the networks tried to stuff down our throats a couple of years ago. Which at this time whose episodes Mr. Mind, Dick Jauron ex coach of the Buffalo Bills, is being forced to watch while in captivity for coaching below and under the call of duty. It may be cruel and unusual punishment but the man most certainly deserves it.
The ad that brought the cavemen back to respectability is the one that stars the co-captains of the crab fishing vessel Time Bandit, Johnathan and Andy Hillstrand of 'Deadliest Catch' fame. It features them waiting for a newly hired crewman when a caveman shows up, asks for a steward to come fetch his luggage and then heads off for a cappuccino. The looks on the faces of the Hillstrands is priceless as they ponder their new crewman. This ad is far and above anything Geico has put out recently. I even think it is time that the gecko be put to sleep because he has become totally moronic. But if the cavemen can start coming back with more ads like that one maybe, just maybe, they can become relevant again. While waiting to see I will be having the roast duck with the mango salsa for dinner in their honor.
And yes, your King is definitely stretching for material at this time. Its a lame Sunday night with absolutely nothing on the boob tube. It is so bad I am forced to watch soccer on the Spanish network. When I hear the commentator raise his voice I turn and watch. It is 0-0 nearing halftime and the commentator has only raised his voice once so you know that this game must be 'really' exciting. I could write about yesterdays golf but I bore my loyal readers enough with that BS. Have a nice evening.
The ad that brought the cavemen back to respectability is the one that stars the co-captains of the crab fishing vessel Time Bandit, Johnathan and Andy Hillstrand of 'Deadliest Catch' fame. It features them waiting for a newly hired crewman when a caveman shows up, asks for a steward to come fetch his luggage and then heads off for a cappuccino. The looks on the faces of the Hillstrands is priceless as they ponder their new crewman. This ad is far and above anything Geico has put out recently. I even think it is time that the gecko be put to sleep because he has become totally moronic. But if the cavemen can start coming back with more ads like that one maybe, just maybe, they can become relevant again. While waiting to see I will be having the roast duck with the mango salsa for dinner in their honor.
And yes, your King is definitely stretching for material at this time. Its a lame Sunday night with absolutely nothing on the boob tube. It is so bad I am forced to watch soccer on the Spanish network. When I hear the commentator raise his voice I turn and watch. It is 0-0 nearing halftime and the commentator has only raised his voice once so you know that this game must be 'really' exciting. I could write about yesterdays golf but I bore my loyal readers enough with that BS. Have a nice evening.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Fourteenth Inductee into the Moronica Hall of Fame
Since July of 2006 all we heard from our newest inductee was boohoo, boohoo, I didn't do it. I am innocent! Well, today the truth was revealed. He did do it. Our newest inductee admits to the moronica of doping for his races. To try to deflect some of the damage he even tried to name a couple of dozen other athletes as dopers. He was even in charge of keeping an eye on the refrigerator with the transfusion blood stored in it. My god, this group must have been a bunch of vampires but the head moron...our new inductee is none other than the stripped 2006 "winner" of the Tour de France, Floyd Landis.
Floyd played us all for fools after he won the Tour. Crying about bad blood tests and other crappola after he was stripped of the title by the French Cycling Association, or whatever they call the bloody thing over there. He blamed everything from bad samples to bad testers to a conspiracy to cheat him out of his title. Well it finally came to light that he only cheated himself.
Cycling has been known for the longest period of time to have one of the highest percentage of cheaters in sports. The sport has been forever tainted by the idiots that have used performance enhancing drugs. Even Lance Armstrong will always have the aura of this stench around him. Floyd claims the blood for transfusions was in Lance's special refrigerator that he was in charge of checking on. Do I believe that Lance was also involved in doping back then? Is Eric Cartman fat? You can answer that.
But the issue right now involves our newest inductee. The man who cried innocence. The man who we were proud of for his big rally near the end of the race. He was also the man who had an overload of testosterone in his system at the time. We now know that he was rightly stripped of his title and he should be forever banned from cycling or at least banned forever from the Tour de France. He is quite the moron and a very deserving inductee. So if you see Floyd Landis please congratulate him on his enshrinement and the honor of which that has been bestowed upon him.
Floyd played us all for fools after he won the Tour. Crying about bad blood tests and other crappola after he was stripped of the title by the French Cycling Association, or whatever they call the bloody thing over there. He blamed everything from bad samples to bad testers to a conspiracy to cheat him out of his title. Well it finally came to light that he only cheated himself.
Cycling has been known for the longest period of time to have one of the highest percentage of cheaters in sports. The sport has been forever tainted by the idiots that have used performance enhancing drugs. Even Lance Armstrong will always have the aura of this stench around him. Floyd claims the blood for transfusions was in Lance's special refrigerator that he was in charge of checking on. Do I believe that Lance was also involved in doping back then? Is Eric Cartman fat? You can answer that.
But the issue right now involves our newest inductee. The man who cried innocence. The man who we were proud of for his big rally near the end of the race. He was also the man who had an overload of testosterone in his system at the time. We now know that he was rightly stripped of his title and he should be forever banned from cycling or at least banned forever from the Tour de France. He is quite the moron and a very deserving inductee. So if you see Floyd Landis please congratulate him on his enshrinement and the honor of which that has been bestowed upon him.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Tiny Tim Tiptoes Through the Tulips
Today, in Sunday's Buffalo News, Your King happened to read a letter to the paper that was so moronic I just have to say something about it. The letter was about Buffalo Sabres center 'Tiny' Tim Connolly. Obviously the letter writer from Hamburg, and for the sake of protecting the ignorant I will call Ed Wrong, must have been watching a different Tim Connolly than the one everyone one else was watching. In the first paragraph of his letter Mr. Wrong berated Jerry Sullivan, a writer for the Buffalo News, who wants to see Tim Connolly dismissed from the team for being too soft. I happen to totally agree with Mr. Sullivan and I wish to see Tiny Tim on the first boat to China.
Mr. Wrong also stated that Mr. Sullivan said the same thing about Miroslav Satan when he was with the Sabres and we all know that when the going got tough Miro disappeared. Mr. Wrong, in trying to refute this, also states that Satan scored two game winning goals against the Sabres in this years playoffs. What Mr. Wrong does not state that since the bulk of the Sabres squad is soft to begin with Satan does not have to play with grit to be able to score. Anyone who watched the series was left shaking his head at the opportunities the softy Sabres gave Satan. He was never threatened as he neared the net. If he tried doing that against a team like the Flyers he would have ended up on the disabled list. But that would not have happened as Miro Satan would not have gone anywhere near the net. If a game was on the line Miro Satan made like Houdini and disappeared. Just like Tiny Tim Connolly.
Mr. Wrong states that Tiny Tim is a finesse player and one of the greatest stick handlers in the game. First of all finesse equals soft and the second part of that statement is just plain laughable. As I have said before Tiny Tim is one of the greatest Sabre penalty killers but the problem is that he only plays on the Sabres' power play. I remember one power play against the Capitals where he tried to stick handle into the Cap's zone three different times and was thwarted three different times. On the fourth attempt by Tiny Tim to stick handle into the Cap's zone he was stripped of the puck and that resulted in a Washington breakaway in which the player scored a shorthanded goal. Tiny Tim should have been awarded an assist on the play.
He mentions that he should be a very capable second or third line center. Hmm, for what the Sabres are paying this slug he should be a first line center. The crime is that Tiny Tim is making 4.5 million dollars a year and somehow he has not yet been arrested for Grand Larceny. ( Note: It would have only cost another 500 thousand dollars per year to keep Chris Drury) Anybody making that kind of money in the NHL should be able to play with some heart. Unfortunately Tiny Tim needs a heart transplant and not even the reformed Mr. Scrooge would pay for that.
The most moronic part of the letter states, and I quote: "Finally, how can a guy who has suffered multiple concussions and other injuries be considered "soft"?" Anyone who knows Tiny Tim's history knows the total moronica of this statement. He did not get his concussions from being tough. He got them from being stupid. Anyone who lowers his head while skating through the middle of the ice and then makes a cut is just asking to have his head removed. And that is what happened. I believe, and I may be wrong on about the name of the opposing player, Chris Neal, of the Ottawa Senators, eyes must have lit up like a Christmas Tree when Tiny Tim turned into is line of travel with his head down. The resulting hit left Tiny Tim's brains scrambled for almost a year. As I have said that is not being tough, its being stupid.
There were other letters to the editor in the paper today which pretty much agree with my feelings about the Sabre's overpaid softy. If the Sabres can unload Tiny Tim's contract on some moronic team it would free up cash to spend on a quality free agent with some grit. But knowing the Sabres they will keep Tiny Tim and the rest of the softies to break our hearts again next year. One of the few players with grit is Mike Grier and he is a free agent and will probably be allowed to walk. That figures. The teams that win are the teams that play with heart when it counts. Unfortunately Tiny Tim and the rest of the Sabres' Tin Men will always stand and watch other teams hoist the cup. Teams that play with heart. Maybe its time we hire the Wizard of Oz as the Sabres' next GM. He most certainly would be better than Darcy Regier.
All I can say to Mr. Wrong is to wake up and smell the coffee, visit the optometrist and re-watch all of the Sabre's games from this past season. In retrospect Tiny Tim may score a lot of points but they are mostly empty points and that is the difference.
Your King has spoken.
Mr. Wrong also stated that Mr. Sullivan said the same thing about Miroslav Satan when he was with the Sabres and we all know that when the going got tough Miro disappeared. Mr. Wrong, in trying to refute this, also states that Satan scored two game winning goals against the Sabres in this years playoffs. What Mr. Wrong does not state that since the bulk of the Sabres squad is soft to begin with Satan does not have to play with grit to be able to score. Anyone who watched the series was left shaking his head at the opportunities the softy Sabres gave Satan. He was never threatened as he neared the net. If he tried doing that against a team like the Flyers he would have ended up on the disabled list. But that would not have happened as Miro Satan would not have gone anywhere near the net. If a game was on the line Miro Satan made like Houdini and disappeared. Just like Tiny Tim Connolly.
Mr. Wrong states that Tiny Tim is a finesse player and one of the greatest stick handlers in the game. First of all finesse equals soft and the second part of that statement is just plain laughable. As I have said before Tiny Tim is one of the greatest Sabre penalty killers but the problem is that he only plays on the Sabres' power play. I remember one power play against the Capitals where he tried to stick handle into the Cap's zone three different times and was thwarted three different times. On the fourth attempt by Tiny Tim to stick handle into the Cap's zone he was stripped of the puck and that resulted in a Washington breakaway in which the player scored a shorthanded goal. Tiny Tim should have been awarded an assist on the play.
He mentions that he should be a very capable second or third line center. Hmm, for what the Sabres are paying this slug he should be a first line center. The crime is that Tiny Tim is making 4.5 million dollars a year and somehow he has not yet been arrested for Grand Larceny. ( Note: It would have only cost another 500 thousand dollars per year to keep Chris Drury) Anybody making that kind of money in the NHL should be able to play with some heart. Unfortunately Tiny Tim needs a heart transplant and not even the reformed Mr. Scrooge would pay for that.
The most moronic part of the letter states, and I quote: "Finally, how can a guy who has suffered multiple concussions and other injuries be considered "soft"?" Anyone who knows Tiny Tim's history knows the total moronica of this statement. He did not get his concussions from being tough. He got them from being stupid. Anyone who lowers his head while skating through the middle of the ice and then makes a cut is just asking to have his head removed. And that is what happened. I believe, and I may be wrong on about the name of the opposing player, Chris Neal, of the Ottawa Senators, eyes must have lit up like a Christmas Tree when Tiny Tim turned into is line of travel with his head down. The resulting hit left Tiny Tim's brains scrambled for almost a year. As I have said that is not being tough, its being stupid.
There were other letters to the editor in the paper today which pretty much agree with my feelings about the Sabre's overpaid softy. If the Sabres can unload Tiny Tim's contract on some moronic team it would free up cash to spend on a quality free agent with some grit. But knowing the Sabres they will keep Tiny Tim and the rest of the softies to break our hearts again next year. One of the few players with grit is Mike Grier and he is a free agent and will probably be allowed to walk. That figures. The teams that win are the teams that play with heart when it counts. Unfortunately Tiny Tim and the rest of the Sabres' Tin Men will always stand and watch other teams hoist the cup. Teams that play with heart. Maybe its time we hire the Wizard of Oz as the Sabres' next GM. He most certainly would be better than Darcy Regier.
All I can say to Mr. Wrong is to wake up and smell the coffee, visit the optometrist and re-watch all of the Sabre's games from this past season. In retrospect Tiny Tim may score a lot of points but they are mostly empty points and that is the difference.
Your King has spoken.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Its Deja Vu All Over Again
Last night Don Cherry's...I mean Claude Julien's Boston Bruins lost to the Montreal Canadiens... I mean the Philadelphia Flyers compliments of a 'too many men on the ice' penalty assessed to them late in the third period. Simon Gagne potted the winner during the gift power play with about seven minutes left in the game to cap one of the most remarkable comebacks, meltdowns if you are a Bruins fan, in any sports league history. In my eyes this even tops the Red Sox comeback against the Yanks a few years ago. Philly was down three games to zero against Boston as the tide turned when they won in overtime in game four. Winning the next two game set up a fantastic game seven in Boston last night.
The fans were soon going nuts after the home team took a 3-0 lead fourteen minutes into the game. In Philly's eyes 3-0 was nothing to worry about looking over the results of the last three games. They scored a fluke goal late in the first period that set the stage for their comeback in this game. Yogi Berra couldn't have written a better scrip for Boston's loss this time. Don Cherry lost his job over his bit of moronica back in 1979, so will this cost Claude Julien his job? Who knows. I just sat on my couch chuckling over this latest bit of moronica that I was witnessing. I hate to say that I was rooting for Philly in this game even though I cannot stand either team but since Boston knocked out my Sabres I wanted to see them launched from the playoffs. Now, in the next series, I am rooting for Montreal, who I can't thank enough for getting rid of the Pittsburgh Penguins, to make it to the finals as Philly has done what I wanted so it is now time for them to go.
The end of the game brought more smiles to my face as I watched the camera pan over some of the most sour pusses in the stands that you would ever want to see. I enjoyed every minute of their disappointment as being a Sabre fan I have known it all too frequently. Just seeing them sitting in stark disbelief as to what just unfolded in front of them will put a grin on my face when I think about it later on. Even more so than when I think about poor 'boo hoo' Sydney Crosby from the Penguins and his early golf season.
I still shake my head and laugh when I think about that penalty call. You just knew that Philly would capitalize on it and make my day. As I said it was Deja Vu all over again! Thanks again Philly but don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out after Montreal sends you packing.
Good day from Moronica!
The fans were soon going nuts after the home team took a 3-0 lead fourteen minutes into the game. In Philly's eyes 3-0 was nothing to worry about looking over the results of the last three games. They scored a fluke goal late in the first period that set the stage for their comeback in this game. Yogi Berra couldn't have written a better scrip for Boston's loss this time. Don Cherry lost his job over his bit of moronica back in 1979, so will this cost Claude Julien his job? Who knows. I just sat on my couch chuckling over this latest bit of moronica that I was witnessing. I hate to say that I was rooting for Philly in this game even though I cannot stand either team but since Boston knocked out my Sabres I wanted to see them launched from the playoffs. Now, in the next series, I am rooting for Montreal, who I can't thank enough for getting rid of the Pittsburgh Penguins, to make it to the finals as Philly has done what I wanted so it is now time for them to go.
The end of the game brought more smiles to my face as I watched the camera pan over some of the most sour pusses in the stands that you would ever want to see. I enjoyed every minute of their disappointment as being a Sabre fan I have known it all too frequently. Just seeing them sitting in stark disbelief as to what just unfolded in front of them will put a grin on my face when I think about it later on. Even more so than when I think about poor 'boo hoo' Sydney Crosby from the Penguins and his early golf season.
I still shake my head and laugh when I think about that penalty call. You just knew that Philly would capitalize on it and make my day. As I said it was Deja Vu all over again! Thanks again Philly but don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out after Montreal sends you packing.
Good day from Moronica!
Friday, May 14, 2010
Obama visits Western New York, Snubs Moronica
President Obama visited the city of Buffalo yesterday to do what presidents do when they visit, talk. As ruler of the Kingdom of Moronica I figured that since President Obama was finally going to be in the area he would stop by and pay a visit to your King. Well, I waited and waited yesterday and he never showed up. I even had the royal rug cleaned for the potential occasion. Instead, he spent his free time eating wings at Duff's in Buffalo in lieu of having a friendly chat with me. But then again I can see his point as he was probably weighing the difficult decision in his mind..Wings...King Dinglefritz...wings.....King Dinglefritz. I guess it was an easy choice for him once he got out from under the shadow of his wife's healthy menu regimen at the White House. I must say that I probably would have chosen wings over me too but I do have some pride.
I would have enjoyed a meeting with him. Hell, I would have ordered wings for delivery to my castle if I knew he was that into them. Good negotiations begin with a happy stomach I always believe. But no, it was not to be. He later flew down to New York City and then back home completely bypassing Moronica, your King snubbed. Oh well, maybe later. Hey, he can always invite me down to D.C as long as I can choose the menu for the state dinner. Michelle's healthy menu be damned!!
I would have enjoyed a meeting with him. Hell, I would have ordered wings for delivery to my castle if I knew he was that into them. Good negotiations begin with a happy stomach I always believe. But no, it was not to be. He later flew down to New York City and then back home completely bypassing Moronica, your King snubbed. Oh well, maybe later. Hey, he can always invite me down to D.C as long as I can choose the menu for the state dinner. Michelle's healthy menu be damned!!
Sunday, May 9, 2010
OUCH! That Had to Hurt!
It was a scene straight out of 'Slapshot' tonight during the Chicago vs. Vancouver hockey game. The only thing I could think of at the time it happened was when Coach Reggie Dunlop, played by Paul Newman, was yelling at his GM, who at the time was prepping a publicity advertisement, telling him to "show a groin injury". Well you have to feel for poor Sammy Salo of the Vancouver Canucks because Reggie Dunlop would have gotten his wish. With just micro-seconds before the end of the first period poor Sammy's nuts were the target of a Chicago player's slapshot. The shot must have shattered his cup as he went down like he was shot. I could feel the poor guy's pain as he was writhing on the ice. OMG, it even hurt when they showed the replay in slow motion. The announcers did not even have the 'balls' to tell us where he was hit by just saying 'he was hit in the midsection'. Anyone with two eyes could tell exactly where the puck hit after watching the slo-mo replay.
Playing goal in collegiate soccer I have been nailed there before making saves but the cup has always saved me. Now a soccer ball is not a hockey puck as a soccer ball's force is spread over a larger area than a puck AND the puck is moving at a much greater velocity.
Now poor Sammy, after spending a considerable amount of time lying in pain on the ice, could not even straighten himself out when he was finally helped off the ice. He was later taken to a local hospital still bent over while sitting in a wheelchair. I just cannot imagine the pain this poor guy was in. It brought back memories of poor baseball catcher Carlton Fisk when one day his cup shifted as a ball was fouled back off the ground and into his petunias. He ended up having one of his petunias removed. Now that had to hurt!
I wish Sammy Salo a quick recovery and I hope that everything still works properly for him.
Playing goal in collegiate soccer I have been nailed there before making saves but the cup has always saved me. Now a soccer ball is not a hockey puck as a soccer ball's force is spread over a larger area than a puck AND the puck is moving at a much greater velocity.
Now poor Sammy, after spending a considerable amount of time lying in pain on the ice, could not even straighten himself out when he was finally helped off the ice. He was later taken to a local hospital still bent over while sitting in a wheelchair. I just cannot imagine the pain this poor guy was in. It brought back memories of poor baseball catcher Carlton Fisk when one day his cup shifted as a ball was fouled back off the ground and into his petunias. He ended up having one of his petunias removed. Now that had to hurt!
I wish Sammy Salo a quick recovery and I hope that everything still works properly for him.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Tidbits from Moronica
1) Boy has the weather here in Moronica taken a nasty turn today. The Royal Courtyard is a complete mess thanks to the high winds. Bits and pieces from my trees are all over the place. I am so looking forward to cleaning this mess up...NOT! The temperature has fallen like a rock since 3:00 p.m. and there is a threat of flurries later. UGH! At least we had a decent lightning show last night to enjoy. The week ahead looks like it may be cool and crappy. So much for the great spring we have had so far.
2) Well, my Royal Back is now out of whack. I felt the sucker go last Tuesday evening when I was doing some work around the house. I have not enjoyed the last few days and it looks like I will not be able to defend my win last week on the golf course tomorrow, but then again maybe it is a blessing in disguise..I won't have to play in the cold and the wind...but then again I would rather play as my game finally seems to be coming back. I had six pars and no 'X' holes and that is a big step in the right direction. Hopefully next week, if my aching back cooperates, I can get out and play nine quick holes before next weekend.
3) My Royal Chef had the day off, well I really do not have a chef as it is just me in the kitchen. Today, for the first time in a long time I made some lasagna. My last batch was not a good one as the sauce I used, a high quality store bought sauce, sucked so I decided to make my own by tweaking my spaghetti sauce recipe a bit. The lasagna came out much better than before. Even Prince Spoiled Brat cleaned his plate off. But the sauce needs another tweak and I cannot put my finger on what to tweak and that is not like me. I can usually figure out what to do to make it even better, like I did with my chowder recipe, but this fix escapes me for now. But still it was good.
4) Last Saturday I went, incognito of course, to the Rochester Rhinos home opener against the Carolina Railhawks. The Rhinos appreciated my visit and put me right in the front row behind the team bench and they honored my royal request not to be announced as attending. The Rhinos played well and should have won but, again, the refereeing in this league is spotty at best. It frustrates me to see a referee make such a brutal call on a slide tackle that gets all ball but the moron still awarded a penalty kick. The Rhinos were up 1-0 at the time and they could have played until midnight and Carolina would never have scored but thanks to the moron ref they get a gift, cashed it in and people wonder why they cannot draw more fans to a nice new soccer stadium. It is the refereeing! This team gets screwed by the referees in this league every chance they get. It gets to be so frustrating to watch knowing at some point during the game the ref will make a call that is so brutal as to put people off. It sure put me off. Also, listening to the coach talk to his players on the bench when the Rhinos were having a rough stretch made me think I was back on the golf course. I always thought the golf course was where I heard that type of language.
5) Well, the weekend has come to where it has become official. The Queen has officially left me for the Burger King. Truth is that it really does not bother me all that much as she is the Burger King's problem now. We were too much like oil and vinegar but she could have been more truthful about the situation instead of telling me at the beginning there was NOT another guy when in fact that was not the case. Certain things that I have done since then I would not have done if I had known the truth. But hey, I am still young and handsome, well then again, maybe not so young and it has been pointed out from previous comments on this blog, not so handsome. As soon as school is over Prince Spoiled Brat becomes, well then again since she is still with royalty, Prince Spoiled Brat and will move into Burger Heaven with his mother. But the thing that really gets me is that she has the Royal Mutt. I miss the mutt but it is better for the mutt to be there as there will be more people in that house for her. Her breed is a people breed and with only me in the castle it would have been hard on her. But I really do miss her... a lot more than I will miss my ex-queen. 'Nuf said.
6) Lastly I would like to offer an honorary Moronican citizenship to Mr. Bill, and I hope he accepts it. We may differ in certain points of view, and I look forward to our future debates, but I do know a nice guy when I see him and Mr. Bill seems like a good egg worthy of this honor. I hope he accepts my offer.
Well, that's the way it is Saturday May 8, 2010, This is King Dinglefritz of Moronica wishing you all a pleasant evening.
2) Well, my Royal Back is now out of whack. I felt the sucker go last Tuesday evening when I was doing some work around the house. I have not enjoyed the last few days and it looks like I will not be able to defend my win last week on the golf course tomorrow, but then again maybe it is a blessing in disguise..I won't have to play in the cold and the wind...but then again I would rather play as my game finally seems to be coming back. I had six pars and no 'X' holes and that is a big step in the right direction. Hopefully next week, if my aching back cooperates, I can get out and play nine quick holes before next weekend.
3) My Royal Chef had the day off, well I really do not have a chef as it is just me in the kitchen. Today, for the first time in a long time I made some lasagna. My last batch was not a good one as the sauce I used, a high quality store bought sauce, sucked so I decided to make my own by tweaking my spaghetti sauce recipe a bit. The lasagna came out much better than before. Even Prince Spoiled Brat cleaned his plate off. But the sauce needs another tweak and I cannot put my finger on what to tweak and that is not like me. I can usually figure out what to do to make it even better, like I did with my chowder recipe, but this fix escapes me for now. But still it was good.
4) Last Saturday I went, incognito of course, to the Rochester Rhinos home opener against the Carolina Railhawks. The Rhinos appreciated my visit and put me right in the front row behind the team bench and they honored my royal request not to be announced as attending. The Rhinos played well and should have won but, again, the refereeing in this league is spotty at best. It frustrates me to see a referee make such a brutal call on a slide tackle that gets all ball but the moron still awarded a penalty kick. The Rhinos were up 1-0 at the time and they could have played until midnight and Carolina would never have scored but thanks to the moron ref they get a gift, cashed it in and people wonder why they cannot draw more fans to a nice new soccer stadium. It is the refereeing! This team gets screwed by the referees in this league every chance they get. It gets to be so frustrating to watch knowing at some point during the game the ref will make a call that is so brutal as to put people off. It sure put me off. Also, listening to the coach talk to his players on the bench when the Rhinos were having a rough stretch made me think I was back on the golf course. I always thought the golf course was where I heard that type of language.
5) Well, the weekend has come to where it has become official. The Queen has officially left me for the Burger King. Truth is that it really does not bother me all that much as she is the Burger King's problem now. We were too much like oil and vinegar but she could have been more truthful about the situation instead of telling me at the beginning there was NOT another guy when in fact that was not the case. Certain things that I have done since then I would not have done if I had known the truth. But hey, I am still young and handsome, well then again, maybe not so young and it has been pointed out from previous comments on this blog, not so handsome. As soon as school is over Prince Spoiled Brat becomes, well then again since she is still with royalty, Prince Spoiled Brat and will move into Burger Heaven with his mother. But the thing that really gets me is that she has the Royal Mutt. I miss the mutt but it is better for the mutt to be there as there will be more people in that house for her. Her breed is a people breed and with only me in the castle it would have been hard on her. But I really do miss her... a lot more than I will miss my ex-queen. 'Nuf said.
6) Lastly I would like to offer an honorary Moronican citizenship to Mr. Bill, and I hope he accepts it. We may differ in certain points of view, and I look forward to our future debates, but I do know a nice guy when I see him and Mr. Bill seems like a good egg worthy of this honor. I hope he accepts my offer.
Well, that's the way it is Saturday May 8, 2010, This is King Dinglefritz of Moronica wishing you all a pleasant evening.
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