1) Whacked out Republican Presidential candidate Newt Gingrich recently said that he wants to have a colony on the moon by 2020 and then make it a U.S. state. Now, your King may be a fan of anything space oriented but even I know that Newt is whacked out. Ol' Newt visits states, that are having primaries, and tells the people there exactly what they want to hear. Florida is the home of NASA so why not speak of space things. How many billions of dollars would all of the things that he has promised to provide in each state that has had or will have a primary soon, and it has only been a few so far, to make them happy will cost the government. And I thought my ex-queen was a spendaholic. Even Bob Dole said that Newt was whacked out when he was the Speaker in Congress. Why is this nut job getting so much support? The man is radioactive!
2) Neal Kitson, former goalkeeper of the Rochester Rhinos soccer club, believes he is making a big move by signing with a club in England. Your King has done a bit of research on this club. Northampton Town, FC is in the fourth division of the English league. Right now they are at the very bottom of that division, with only 21 points, meaning that if they do not win a few games they are heading for relegation to the fifth, and lowest, division. The English fifth division is equivalent to playing on a team based in Mt. Morris or Dansville. That is quite a drop from playing in Rochester. Their stadium is almost half the size of Sahlens Stadium, here in Rochester, seating less than 7,000 people. Right now Neal says he is going to be a backup keeper on that team. Hmm, a backup keeper on a team headed nowhere but down. Sounds like a step up to me, doesn't it? Neal says that he is looking forward to being seen by other clubs and hopes to make a career in England. Knowing British football I know that backup keepers never play so how does Neal figure he is going to be exposed to other clubs? Still, I wish him luck even though he is a bit moronic.
3) Reading the paper lately your King believes that JPMorgan Chase, Bank of America and other major banks will never have their corporate headquarters located in Fairbanks, Alaska. At least that is what a lot of home owners probably believe. Just a funny thought.
4) Kim Jong Un, Supreme Leader of North Korea, has been on the job for about a month now and he has not threatened to blow up anybody yet. That is a step in the right direction but then again maybe that fat little toad cannot pull his pudgy face far enough away from the buffet table to say anything. To bad that the only buffet table in North Korea is located at the royal palace since everyone else in that country is starving.
5) It is now January 28 and the ground is still bare in Moronica. I do not recall in all of my years ever seeing a winter like this. Even when we have had slow starts in prior winters Mother Nature has always made up for lost time but not this winter, yet. I just hope that we do not pay for this in the spring.
6) Day 28 of the MSG blackout. I am now past the physical addiction part to Buffalo Sabre broadcasts but the psychological part is still bugging me. Thank goodness they stink or my condition would be a lot worse. I have been reading, and commenting on, the updates about the Sabres on 'Hockey Talk with Hornswoggle' on Facebook and even he says that the Sabres are going nowhere. If Hornswoggle says that then it must be true.
Well, that is enough for today. Have a pleasant day!
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Sabres Coach Mindy Ruff Must Go!! And Other Bits of Nonsense
Point one is sponsored by "Hockey Talk with Hornswoggle" which brings the best in hockey talk to you Monday through Friday from 8:30 to 5:00.
1) Well, this is day 21 of the great MSG blackout. The Sabres have been playing so badly lately I am glad that I have not been subjected to watching them. Their goaltending is sieve like, their defense stinks and their offense is practically nonexistent. They started the season being road warriors but now they play like road kill. They have an eleven game losing streak on the road and it is bound to get to twelve as they are playing a very strong St. Louis Blues team tonight. The Sabres play like they do not care anymore. Even when they are lucky enough to take a lead you know that it will not last long enough to enjoy it. It seems that when the other team starts scoring the Sabres roll over and die. Status quo will not do. Mindy Ruff and Darcy Regier must be shown the door and fast. Rumor has it that the atmosphere in the locker room is toxic. I do not recall ever hearing that about any Sabres team since the team's inception.
The Sabres now have an owner will to do what it takes to win the cup. Darcy Regier mis-spent a lot of money during the off-season on free agents. Forward Ville Leino has been a bust and defenseman Erhoff has been just plain ordinary and is now on the boo-boo list. The Sabres forward lines are pretty much healthy now but nothing is happening up front. Why is that? Oh, I forget..Mindy Ruff has them skating circles in the corner. As readers of my blog know I have never been a fan of Mindy Ruff and now my dislike of him as a coach is turning into a downright hatred. He must go and go now!!! The players need to be freed from playing his garbage cycling system and only then will we be able to see what needs to be done in terms of player movement. I believe that there is talent there. Talent that needs to be freed from the yoke of Mindy's tyranny so that it will be able to express itself on the ice.
It is so obvious to anyone that follows the team that the players have shut Mindy out. The only reason he is still their is that he works cheap. Now with Pegula owning the ship that reason is no longer valid. The Sabres should now be financially able to bring in smart hockey people with fresh ideas as this team is even more stale than grandma's fruitcake. If it gets to the point where it is time to move players to freshen up the team so be it but it must start with the launching of Mindy Ruff. His time has come and gone and the sooner he is gone the better. If the Sabres then start playing better maybe there will be more pressure to get the MSG vs. Time Warner battle settled. Right now the Sabres are unwatchable...and that is a shame.
2) I had a laugh this morning watching the neighborhood squirrels at my feeder for them. There is this one squirrel that when the feeder gets low he just crawls right into it and camps out with the lid closed right over it munching away. It is just a hoot to watch. What is funny is that during the spring the two ducks that hang around Moronica like to come over to the tree where the feeder is and munch away at what the squirrels drop. It is almost like Moronica has its own little nature preserve, that is until the neighbor's dog sees the action and chases them all away.
3) There is a couple of inches of snow in the driveway but since it is going to warm up again to 50 on Monday I just said 'screw it' and will let nature handle getting rid of it. Usually I am very banal about keeping my driveway as snow free as possible but not this winter. Instead of a shovel I am using patience for a change and that helps to keep my royal back and left thumb healthy.
4) Ahhh! It has been over nine months since I last threw a bowing ball and I have enjoyed every minute of it. Spending the last three years bowling at Bedrock Lanes has given me the impetus to chuck the game out of my life, possibly for forever. I am surprised that I do not miss it at all. Maybe the amount of golf I played this fall and winter has helped but even without that I would not have bowled. Maybe my attitude will change over time but I have my doubts. I enjoyed a five year hiatus earlier this century but the itch came back. Bowling at Bedrock will probably end up being the perfect Calamine lotion for that itch. Thank you Bedrock!!!
Oh well. I guess that is enough nonsense for tonight. Nothing is on the Telly tonight so I may grab something out of the vast Moronican DVD collection to watch. It is either that or watch another brain rotting movie on the SyFy channel tonight. I figure after the last two Saturday night original movies of theirs that I have watched, you can read my reviews for them on the IMDB website, I have lost enough brain cells so I had better give my brain a well deserved rest. At my age I need to slow down the brain rot to a crawl to make it last. Good night my friends!!
1) Well, this is day 21 of the great MSG blackout. The Sabres have been playing so badly lately I am glad that I have not been subjected to watching them. Their goaltending is sieve like, their defense stinks and their offense is practically nonexistent. They started the season being road warriors but now they play like road kill. They have an eleven game losing streak on the road and it is bound to get to twelve as they are playing a very strong St. Louis Blues team tonight. The Sabres play like they do not care anymore. Even when they are lucky enough to take a lead you know that it will not last long enough to enjoy it. It seems that when the other team starts scoring the Sabres roll over and die. Status quo will not do. Mindy Ruff and Darcy Regier must be shown the door and fast. Rumor has it that the atmosphere in the locker room is toxic. I do not recall ever hearing that about any Sabres team since the team's inception.
The Sabres now have an owner will to do what it takes to win the cup. Darcy Regier mis-spent a lot of money during the off-season on free agents. Forward Ville Leino has been a bust and defenseman Erhoff has been just plain ordinary and is now on the boo-boo list. The Sabres forward lines are pretty much healthy now but nothing is happening up front. Why is that? Oh, I forget..Mindy Ruff has them skating circles in the corner. As readers of my blog know I have never been a fan of Mindy Ruff and now my dislike of him as a coach is turning into a downright hatred. He must go and go now!!! The players need to be freed from playing his garbage cycling system and only then will we be able to see what needs to be done in terms of player movement. I believe that there is talent there. Talent that needs to be freed from the yoke of Mindy's tyranny so that it will be able to express itself on the ice.
It is so obvious to anyone that follows the team that the players have shut Mindy out. The only reason he is still their is that he works cheap. Now with Pegula owning the ship that reason is no longer valid. The Sabres should now be financially able to bring in smart hockey people with fresh ideas as this team is even more stale than grandma's fruitcake. If it gets to the point where it is time to move players to freshen up the team so be it but it must start with the launching of Mindy Ruff. His time has come and gone and the sooner he is gone the better. If the Sabres then start playing better maybe there will be more pressure to get the MSG vs. Time Warner battle settled. Right now the Sabres are unwatchable...and that is a shame.
2) I had a laugh this morning watching the neighborhood squirrels at my feeder for them. There is this one squirrel that when the feeder gets low he just crawls right into it and camps out with the lid closed right over it munching away. It is just a hoot to watch. What is funny is that during the spring the two ducks that hang around Moronica like to come over to the tree where the feeder is and munch away at what the squirrels drop. It is almost like Moronica has its own little nature preserve, that is until the neighbor's dog sees the action and chases them all away.
3) There is a couple of inches of snow in the driveway but since it is going to warm up again to 50 on Monday I just said 'screw it' and will let nature handle getting rid of it. Usually I am very banal about keeping my driveway as snow free as possible but not this winter. Instead of a shovel I am using patience for a change and that helps to keep my royal back and left thumb healthy.
4) Ahhh! It has been over nine months since I last threw a bowing ball and I have enjoyed every minute of it. Spending the last three years bowling at Bedrock Lanes has given me the impetus to chuck the game out of my life, possibly for forever. I am surprised that I do not miss it at all. Maybe the amount of golf I played this fall and winter has helped but even without that I would not have bowled. Maybe my attitude will change over time but I have my doubts. I enjoyed a five year hiatus earlier this century but the itch came back. Bowling at Bedrock will probably end up being the perfect Calamine lotion for that itch. Thank you Bedrock!!!
Oh well. I guess that is enough nonsense for tonight. Nothing is on the Telly tonight so I may grab something out of the vast Moronican DVD collection to watch. It is either that or watch another brain rotting movie on the SyFy channel tonight. I figure after the last two Saturday night original movies of theirs that I have watched, you can read my reviews for them on the IMDB website, I have lost enough brain cells so I had better give my brain a well deserved rest. At my age I need to slow down the brain rot to a crawl to make it last. Good night my friends!!
Friday, January 20, 2012
King Witnesses Tragedy
I find it very hard to write about this but I need to. Normally I try to find humor in anything and everything that I see and read about in this world. Not tonight. On my way home from work I saw lots of smoke in the distance. I thought something was happening on Spencerport road. When I cleared the Lyell road intersection I could see the flashing emergency lights near the road I turn off on. It turned out to be a major house fire in my neighborhood and if you watched the six o'clock news you heard about it. I parked my car at home and went to see if it was anyone I knew. It wasn't but that did not matter as it was still a neighbor that was being affected. The house was pretty much almost fully engulfed by the time I walked down to it. Before I arrived at the scene a twenty year old man on the second floor managed to break a window and jumped to safety, though injuring himself badly, and alerted the firemen that there was someone still on the first floor. It was a heartbreaking scene made much worse when I found out that a gentleman, who was in his seventies, did not make it. The firefighters held off trying to suppress the fire as they concentrated on rescuing the man but the fire had too much of an advantage. The firefighters did their best but the fire grew too rapidly and by the time they pulled him out he had died from smoke inhalation.
Something like this makes you stop and think. It makes you think about how quickly a life can be snuffed out. How quickly a normal day can turn into a tragedy. It just breaks your heart to see a neighbor in distress. I have passed this house many a time when I take my walks around the neighborhood. It was just a normal house in a normal neighborhood. You never expect this to happen, you really don't. It hits you hard. My deepest sympathies go out to the family of the deceased.
Something like this makes you stop and think. It makes you think about how quickly a life can be snuffed out. How quickly a normal day can turn into a tragedy. It just breaks your heart to see a neighbor in distress. I have passed this house many a time when I take my walks around the neighborhood. It was just a normal house in a normal neighborhood. You never expect this to happen, you really don't. It hits you hard. My deepest sympathies go out to the family of the deceased.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Dollar Coin Sunk by Moronic U.S. Government
I read a few weeks ago the the U.S. Department of the Treasury is cancelling the remainder of the U.S. Presidents dollar coin series except for what they will make for collectors. The reason was that there were over a billion of the coins that are now in storage. Well, why are these coins going into storage? I will tell you the reason is that the U.S. Government refuses to take the paper one dollar bill out of circulation and that is moronic. A typical one dollar bill survives on average about eighteen months and a dollar coin will probably survive well over forty years. Heck, I still see quarters from the sixties that look great today. The metal composition they use today holds up so much better than the silver coins made prior to 1965.
There is a big stink going on in Congress right now about saving money, cutting costs and reducing the debt. Ridding the U.S. of the dollar bill and replacing it with the coin would save the country billions over time. But a lot of ignorant people say 'we don't want the dollar coin' but look at Canada. They replaced both the one and two dollar bills with coins. They were not happy about it in the beginning but they probably could care less now. I can hear the conservatives squawking now 'Oh no, that is Canada, they are socialist and we don't want to do anything that Canada does or we will forever be down the path to socialism'. That would be a crock.
One the hindrances of going to the coin was the fact that we would need a large supply of them handy and ready to go. Right now it sounds like we are getting near that point. The government should keep making the coins, building up the supply, and then start weaning us off the dollar bill. It is just simple logic. Most vending machines are now geared to accept the coin. Quite a number of people do not even use cash anymore so the switch would not even affect them. Gradually we could possibly work in a two dollar coin into the mix. The money that would be saved by this switch is not chump change. The populace may piss and moan but over time we will get over and maybe even like it. It is moronic for the government to keep pissing away money making the paper dollar when we now have a viable alternative.
I don't want it. Canada does it. It is not convenient. I hate the dollar coins. These are the so called reasons that keep us on the paper dollar. They are moronic reasons. The government should continue to make the coins and ready us for the switchover. It makes cents!!! Well, actually billions of dollars. That is reason enough. This is your King saying "So let it be written, so let it be done"!!
There is a big stink going on in Congress right now about saving money, cutting costs and reducing the debt. Ridding the U.S. of the dollar bill and replacing it with the coin would save the country billions over time. But a lot of ignorant people say 'we don't want the dollar coin' but look at Canada. They replaced both the one and two dollar bills with coins. They were not happy about it in the beginning but they probably could care less now. I can hear the conservatives squawking now 'Oh no, that is Canada, they are socialist and we don't want to do anything that Canada does or we will forever be down the path to socialism'. That would be a crock.
One the hindrances of going to the coin was the fact that we would need a large supply of them handy and ready to go. Right now it sounds like we are getting near that point. The government should keep making the coins, building up the supply, and then start weaning us off the dollar bill. It is just simple logic. Most vending machines are now geared to accept the coin. Quite a number of people do not even use cash anymore so the switch would not even affect them. Gradually we could possibly work in a two dollar coin into the mix. The money that would be saved by this switch is not chump change. The populace may piss and moan but over time we will get over and maybe even like it. It is moronic for the government to keep pissing away money making the paper dollar when we now have a viable alternative.
I don't want it. Canada does it. It is not convenient. I hate the dollar coins. These are the so called reasons that keep us on the paper dollar. They are moronic reasons. The government should continue to make the coins and ready us for the switchover. It makes cents!!! Well, actually billions of dollars. That is reason enough. This is your King saying "So let it be written, so let it be done"!!
Monday, January 16, 2012
King Reports on a Visual Violation
This past weekend I received my quarterly Wegmans Menu magazine. I always check it out as it may have a recipe or two that I may want to try. As valued readers of my blog know I enjoy being in the kitchen and tonight was no exception as I whipped up some Kung Pao chicken. Yummy!!. On page 69 I found a nice recipe for Chicken Parmesan that I may have to give a try to. I Then continued looking through the magazine until I got to page 93 when my eyes were violated completely. There it was, Moby Dick mouth in all of her glory. UGH!!! I thought it was bad enough that I had to suffer seeing Moby Dick mouth on the expressway's billboard on my way to the golf course. I blame Moby Dick mouth for some of my bad golf as she has definitely affected my vision. It always takes me a few holes for my eyes to recover from seeing that monstrosity and play decently.
How can a human being have a mouth that is that big??? I would hate to be her husband and she would have one hell of an advantage in any argument. I would just say "you are right honey" before she had a chance to turn that mouth up to full blast. I love Wegmans but why do they have to subject us to Moby Dick mouth everywhere??? Will my eyes ever recover??
How can a human being have a mouth that is that big??? I would hate to be her husband and she would have one hell of an advantage in any argument. I would just say "you are right honey" before she had a chance to turn that mouth up to full blast. I love Wegmans but why do they have to subject us to Moby Dick mouth everywhere??? Will my eyes ever recover??
Seventeenth Inductee into the MHOF
It usually takes quite an achievement to successfully get into the Moronica Hall of Fame but this gentleman deserved an expedited induction into it. This gentleman may have ventured his boat too close to the rocks and reef just to carry out a maneuver to entertain tourists on the island of Giglio. This gentleman took a page out of White Star Line's Bruce Ismay's book on how a rat should leave a sinking ship. This gentleman refused a request from the Coast Guard to return to his ship to honor his duty to be the last one off. This Gentleman is Captain Francesco Schettino of the luxury liner Costa Concordia (CC).
This past Friday the CC struck a rock and ran aground when this moron steered the boat far too close to the Tuscan Coast. The rocks created a 160 foot gash in the side if this luxury liner leading it to take on water and go wumpf onto its side. During the evacuation of the liner the Captain was seen getting into a lifeboat by a French couple, who boarded the CC in Marseille, who saw him covering himself in a blanket long before all passengers were evacuated. This is very believable as one of the couple, a Ms. Ophelie Gondelle, was a French military officer so why would she lie? As stated before Coast Guard officers also spotted our honoree on shore well before the evacuation's completion and urged him to return but he refused. Even with eyewitness accounts our moron Captain continues to insist that he did not leave the liner early stating "We were the last ones to leave the ship". Frankly I do not believe this guy. The ship's Italian owner, a subsidiary of Carnival Cruise Lines said of the captain "He made grave errors of judgment that had very grave consequences". As of now those consequences include five dead, fifteen missing and one luxury liner left lying on its side.
Captain Schettino's boat now sits on its side just off the island as a testament to his captaining ability. How, in this day and age, can someone do this to a liner? Right now this man is being held by the Italian authorities for suspected manslaughter and the abandonment allegations. According to the Italian navigation code a captain who abandons a ship in danger can face up to twelve years in prison. And what is to become of the CC? Is there anything that can be done to fix the boat enough to at least get it to a dry dock or will it lie on its side for years - a testament to Captain Schettino's moronica? At least Captain Harris of the Titanic went down with his boat while this guy was one of the first that made it safely to shore. With apologies to Monty Python "When danger reared its ugly head Captain Schettino turned his tail and fled, brave, brave, brave, Captain Schettino".
So if you happen to see Captain Schettino please let him know of his enshrinement into my Moronica Hall of Fame and the honor of which that has been bestowed upon him.
This past Friday the CC struck a rock and ran aground when this moron steered the boat far too close to the Tuscan Coast. The rocks created a 160 foot gash in the side if this luxury liner leading it to take on water and go wumpf onto its side. During the evacuation of the liner the Captain was seen getting into a lifeboat by a French couple, who boarded the CC in Marseille, who saw him covering himself in a blanket long before all passengers were evacuated. This is very believable as one of the couple, a Ms. Ophelie Gondelle, was a French military officer so why would she lie? As stated before Coast Guard officers also spotted our honoree on shore well before the evacuation's completion and urged him to return but he refused. Even with eyewitness accounts our moron Captain continues to insist that he did not leave the liner early stating "We were the last ones to leave the ship". Frankly I do not believe this guy. The ship's Italian owner, a subsidiary of Carnival Cruise Lines said of the captain "He made grave errors of judgment that had very grave consequences". As of now those consequences include five dead, fifteen missing and one luxury liner left lying on its side.
Captain Schettino's boat now sits on its side just off the island as a testament to his captaining ability. How, in this day and age, can someone do this to a liner? Right now this man is being held by the Italian authorities for suspected manslaughter and the abandonment allegations. According to the Italian navigation code a captain who abandons a ship in danger can face up to twelve years in prison. And what is to become of the CC? Is there anything that can be done to fix the boat enough to at least get it to a dry dock or will it lie on its side for years - a testament to Captain Schettino's moronica? At least Captain Harris of the Titanic went down with his boat while this guy was one of the first that made it safely to shore. With apologies to Monty Python "When danger reared its ugly head Captain Schettino turned his tail and fled, brave, brave, brave, Captain Schettino".
So if you happen to see Captain Schettino please let him know of his enshrinement into my Moronica Hall of Fame and the honor of which that has been bestowed upon him.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Chicken Wings?? I Don't Think So!! Your King Issues Second Warning!!
1) I had a hankering for chicken wings yesterday so while I was at Wegmans I decided to get some to fry up for dinner. I took a good look at the five pound bag and they looked big and meaty but then I saw the ten pound bag. Hmm, For only a few bucks more I could get double the wings so I just grabbed a ten pounder and stuffed it in my cart. I considered myself a smart shopper until I got home and checked them out. All I can say is that a lot of parakeets gave their lives so their wings could fill that bag. I was amazed at the size difference of the wings between the five pounder and the ten pounder I bought. Now I know why there was such a good deal on the ten pounders so if you like a real and meaty chicken wing get the five pounder but if you like parakeet wings get the ten pounder.
2) Another warning from your King: I decided to force myself to watch, after about ten minutes of the Patriots spanking of the Broncos, one of those dreaded SyFy original movies that they show on Saturday nights because I had a feeling it was going to be one worth writing about. It did not disappoint! It was called 'Collision Earth'(CE) and while it was not quite, relatively speaking, as rotten as the other movie I warned you about, 'Earth's Final Hours' (EFH), this movie still had every single one of those plot devices that make up a crappy science fiction movie. Again, during the movie, our heroes get saved by things related to the impending collision of the planet Mercury and Earth. The car plopping on top of the guy who was just about to put a few holes in our heroes with a rifle was a hoot. I just had to shake my head in disbelief as it was so reminiscent of EFH's bad moments. To keep this brief, Somehow planet Mercury gets blown off course, and becomes magnetized, by the sun when the sun has a serious fit. Second, we somehow had a manned spaceship around Mercury at the exact time of this fit. Third, somehow we had an asteroid, named Project Seven (PS), that we had orbiting the Earth fitted with a deflector system that could save the day. Fourth, again the head government moron did not want to use this device even though the scientist who created it said he had all of the bugs fixed and the moron would not allow the creator to uplink to PS to upload the fixes. The head moron wanted to deflect the over 3,000 mile wide Mercury with a few missiles(why is it always missiles??). Fifth, even though the spaceship around Mercury took a savage beating during the sun's fit, how it wasn't just plain vaporized is beyond me, the one remaining astronaut out of three, one got fried immediately and the other later died even though he looked just fine while he was still breathing AND who also just happens to be the creator of PS's wife, managed to fix the communications enough to be able to communicate with Earth only to a couple of kids with a portable radio. Sixth, This lone astronaut fixed up the ship enough to get it away from Mercury, but it turns out that the one bug that could not be fixed by the creator of 'PS' could be taken care of by this ship. So, the ship heads to the PS asteroid and hooks up with it just in the nick of time, starts PS's engines, and heads back to Mercury. With seconds to spare the creator manages to get to the backup government site, gets an uplink with PS and uploads the software fixes which engages the deflector screen thus saving the Earth. The ship manages to disengage itself from PS milliseconds before it collides with Mercury destroying it and creating a ring around Earth not unlike Saturn's.
Oy, I could waste more time writing about the crappy sci fi cliches in CE but, seeing is believing. This one won't rot your brain like EFH but it will put a serious dent in it. There is so much good science fiction out there but they keep coming out with this unbelievably mindless garbage. A good sci-fi movie uses science as its friend but not CE or EFH. I enjoy a good sci-fi movie but lately SyFy has not delivered. You have been warned!!!
3) It is now day 15 of the great MSG blackout. We were again spared from seeing another listless Sabre effort versus the NY Islanders. The blackout allowed me to watch that crappy sci-fi movie I have now warned you about. I really do not know which is worse as watching either seems to be a mind numbing experience lately. Dish Network subscribers haven't had MSG since 10/10. Hmm, maybe we can get that lucky.
4) Is there a country's government more deserving to be eliminated from the planet Earth than Iran's??? If there is ever a WW3 it will be there. The government of Iran is run by a bunch of loonies and it is only a matter of time before they cross the line. And we can only blame ourselves for what is ruling Iran now. We foisted the Shah on them, who ruled with an iron thumb which led to the revolt that put the Ayatollahs in charge, and we wonder why they hate us. I wonder how we would feel about the Germans if the came over in the Thirties and put Hitler in charge here after offing FDR?? We would probably feel the same way towards the Germans as the Iranians feel towards us today. We just plain meddle to much.
Well, my fingers are tired and my brain is still in recovery mode after 'Collision Earth' so I will end my nonsense for today. Have a happy!!
2) Another warning from your King: I decided to force myself to watch, after about ten minutes of the Patriots spanking of the Broncos, one of those dreaded SyFy original movies that they show on Saturday nights because I had a feeling it was going to be one worth writing about. It did not disappoint! It was called 'Collision Earth'(CE) and while it was not quite, relatively speaking, as rotten as the other movie I warned you about, 'Earth's Final Hours' (EFH), this movie still had every single one of those plot devices that make up a crappy science fiction movie. Again, during the movie, our heroes get saved by things related to the impending collision of the planet Mercury and Earth. The car plopping on top of the guy who was just about to put a few holes in our heroes with a rifle was a hoot. I just had to shake my head in disbelief as it was so reminiscent of EFH's bad moments. To keep this brief, Somehow planet Mercury gets blown off course, and becomes magnetized, by the sun when the sun has a serious fit. Second, we somehow had a manned spaceship around Mercury at the exact time of this fit. Third, somehow we had an asteroid, named Project Seven (PS), that we had orbiting the Earth fitted with a deflector system that could save the day. Fourth, again the head government moron did not want to use this device even though the scientist who created it said he had all of the bugs fixed and the moron would not allow the creator to uplink to PS to upload the fixes. The head moron wanted to deflect the over 3,000 mile wide Mercury with a few missiles(why is it always missiles??). Fifth, even though the spaceship around Mercury took a savage beating during the sun's fit, how it wasn't just plain vaporized is beyond me, the one remaining astronaut out of three, one got fried immediately and the other later died even though he looked just fine while he was still breathing AND who also just happens to be the creator of PS's wife, managed to fix the communications enough to be able to communicate with Earth only to a couple of kids with a portable radio. Sixth, This lone astronaut fixed up the ship enough to get it away from Mercury, but it turns out that the one bug that could not be fixed by the creator of 'PS' could be taken care of by this ship. So, the ship heads to the PS asteroid and hooks up with it just in the nick of time, starts PS's engines, and heads back to Mercury. With seconds to spare the creator manages to get to the backup government site, gets an uplink with PS and uploads the software fixes which engages the deflector screen thus saving the Earth. The ship manages to disengage itself from PS milliseconds before it collides with Mercury destroying it and creating a ring around Earth not unlike Saturn's.
Oy, I could waste more time writing about the crappy sci fi cliches in CE but, seeing is believing. This one won't rot your brain like EFH but it will put a serious dent in it. There is so much good science fiction out there but they keep coming out with this unbelievably mindless garbage. A good sci-fi movie uses science as its friend but not CE or EFH. I enjoy a good sci-fi movie but lately SyFy has not delivered. You have been warned!!!
3) It is now day 15 of the great MSG blackout. We were again spared from seeing another listless Sabre effort versus the NY Islanders. The blackout allowed me to watch that crappy sci-fi movie I have now warned you about. I really do not know which is worse as watching either seems to be a mind numbing experience lately. Dish Network subscribers haven't had MSG since 10/10. Hmm, maybe we can get that lucky.
4) Is there a country's government more deserving to be eliminated from the planet Earth than Iran's??? If there is ever a WW3 it will be there. The government of Iran is run by a bunch of loonies and it is only a matter of time before they cross the line. And we can only blame ourselves for what is ruling Iran now. We foisted the Shah on them, who ruled with an iron thumb which led to the revolt that put the Ayatollahs in charge, and we wonder why they hate us. I wonder how we would feel about the Germans if the came over in the Thirties and put Hitler in charge here after offing FDR?? We would probably feel the same way towards the Germans as the Iranians feel towards us today. We just plain meddle to much.
Well, my fingers are tired and my brain is still in recovery mode after 'Collision Earth' so I will end my nonsense for today. Have a happy!!
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Ugh!!! Winter is Here and Other Krappola
1) Well, winter waited until January 13th to make its debut for this season. The lack of the white crap was nice while it lasted. Hell, I even golfed last week but that is now kaput for a while since the white crap now looks like it is here to stay. For the first month and a half we had only snippets of winter weather here in Moronica. We would get a little bit of the white crap only to see it disappear the next day. Well, we now have six inches on the ground and very little warmth, except for a small break on Monday into Tuesday, to look forward too. I am hoping that this winter is a repeat of 1986 where we had only three weeks of winter in January and the rest of the winter was rather nice. I am just hoping this late start to winter does not mean we are going to have a late start to spring. After last year's screw job when both winter and spring sucked eggs I feel we are due for an easy winter with a nice spring.
Today was the first time I had to fire up the Royal snow blower this season and I hope it is the last. It sucked as it rained prior to the changeover to snow rendering the snow a bitch for my little machine to get rid of as it was dense, especially the layer right on the driveway. The poor thing tried its best but with about 30 percent of the royal driveway left to go the snow was just too dense for it and I had to shovel the rest of it. What killed it was that it was so dense it could not blow it far enough so that a lot of it remained on the edge of my driveway making that part of it even worse. Oh well at least my back made it through this crappola.
But then again it could be worse. In Cordova Alaska they have gotten pummeled with over fifteen feet of snow recently. I cannot even imagine what would happen if we got buried like that here. I remember when I visited Bryce Canyon in southern Utah back in 1993 when they had bountiful snows there for a change. It was like I had to walk through a snow cave to get to the main building of the park. It was so bad that only a very small part of the park was accessible to traffic and that was a shame because I could see how beautiful the rock formations were even through the piles of snow from what very little I could view. I will have to visit again someday!
2) This next segment is brought to you by 'Hockey Talk With Hornswoggle', now on WHTK!!
Well Terry Pegula finally said something about the state of the Sabres. He said that no changes need to be made since the Sabres woes were all caused by the injury bug. HUH?? Did Mindy Ruff slip this guy some kool-aid or what?? The cause of the Sabres woes is the style that they play which hampers offensive creativity. Injuries have played a part of the woes but the bulk of the injured are now back playing and the Sabres still suck. Ryan Miller has been playing as if the puck is radioactive. He has not played well this season and has given up far too many goals. Even an average Miller would have given the Sabres a few more wins during this slide. There is talk about trading him and someone else to Anaheim, another team that sucks right now, but since the Sabres are so tight against the cap it would be almost impossible to pull off. It looks like a lot of the Sabres have tuned out Ruff and I don't blame them a bit. Some of the players look like they need a fresh start but they would need to be traded for equal value but since they are so bad right now who can determine what equal value is. Drew Stafford scored 31 goals in 61 games last year, and signed a big contract thanks to that, but he is on pace for maybe fourteen goals this year. Ugh!! Derek Roy is so streaky it is not even funny. The only players playing up to snuff, and worth watching, right now are Pominville and Vanek but if teams shut them down the Sabres are screwed because of the lack of second tier scoring.
Well, it is now day fourteen of the great MSG-Time Warner battle with no end in sight. It is getting to the point where I am not really missing watching the Sabres on the telly. Can't you tell by the amount of crap, and I do mean crap, I have been posting lately??
3) In my continuing saga of 'If They Only Had Twitter - Famous Last tweets' we have the last tweet of Isao Sasaki from Hiroshima, Japan.
10:19 am August 9, 1945- Isao Saski - "Beautiful day. Think I will go out and tend my garden..What the hell wa........."
I know, I know, it is just as bad as Lincoln's last tweet. Sorry! Maybe I will try do do some thinking for better episodes of this nonsense. Hell, I have plenty of time to sit and think about this now since I cannot watch the Sabres so I should be coming up with better material than this last one. Well, we shall see. Have a great day oh valued readers of my blog. Hey!! I can turn my crap green...which is probably the color of your faces after you read 'Famous Last Tweets'!!!
Today was the first time I had to fire up the Royal snow blower this season and I hope it is the last. It sucked as it rained prior to the changeover to snow rendering the snow a bitch for my little machine to get rid of as it was dense, especially the layer right on the driveway. The poor thing tried its best but with about 30 percent of the royal driveway left to go the snow was just too dense for it and I had to shovel the rest of it. What killed it was that it was so dense it could not blow it far enough so that a lot of it remained on the edge of my driveway making that part of it even worse. Oh well at least my back made it through this crappola.
But then again it could be worse. In Cordova Alaska they have gotten pummeled with over fifteen feet of snow recently. I cannot even imagine what would happen if we got buried like that here. I remember when I visited Bryce Canyon in southern Utah back in 1993 when they had bountiful snows there for a change. It was like I had to walk through a snow cave to get to the main building of the park. It was so bad that only a very small part of the park was accessible to traffic and that was a shame because I could see how beautiful the rock formations were even through the piles of snow from what very little I could view. I will have to visit again someday!
2) This next segment is brought to you by 'Hockey Talk With Hornswoggle', now on WHTK!!
Well Terry Pegula finally said something about the state of the Sabres. He said that no changes need to be made since the Sabres woes were all caused by the injury bug. HUH?? Did Mindy Ruff slip this guy some kool-aid or what?? The cause of the Sabres woes is the style that they play which hampers offensive creativity. Injuries have played a part of the woes but the bulk of the injured are now back playing and the Sabres still suck. Ryan Miller has been playing as if the puck is radioactive. He has not played well this season and has given up far too many goals. Even an average Miller would have given the Sabres a few more wins during this slide. There is talk about trading him and someone else to Anaheim, another team that sucks right now, but since the Sabres are so tight against the cap it would be almost impossible to pull off. It looks like a lot of the Sabres have tuned out Ruff and I don't blame them a bit. Some of the players look like they need a fresh start but they would need to be traded for equal value but since they are so bad right now who can determine what equal value is. Drew Stafford scored 31 goals in 61 games last year, and signed a big contract thanks to that, but he is on pace for maybe fourteen goals this year. Ugh!! Derek Roy is so streaky it is not even funny. The only players playing up to snuff, and worth watching, right now are Pominville and Vanek but if teams shut them down the Sabres are screwed because of the lack of second tier scoring.
Well, it is now day fourteen of the great MSG-Time Warner battle with no end in sight. It is getting to the point where I am not really missing watching the Sabres on the telly. Can't you tell by the amount of crap, and I do mean crap, I have been posting lately??
3) In my continuing saga of 'If They Only Had Twitter - Famous Last tweets' we have the last tweet of Isao Sasaki from Hiroshima, Japan.
10:19 am August 9, 1945- Isao Saski - "Beautiful day. Think I will go out and tend my garden..What the hell wa........."
I know, I know, it is just as bad as Lincoln's last tweet. Sorry! Maybe I will try do do some thinking for better episodes of this nonsense. Hell, I have plenty of time to sit and think about this now since I cannot watch the Sabres so I should be coming up with better material than this last one. Well, we shall see. Have a great day oh valued readers of my blog. Hey!! I can turn my crap green...which is probably the color of your faces after you read 'Famous Last Tweets'!!!
Friday, January 13, 2012
Moronica Thy Name is Cell Phone
In what may be one of the ultimate cases of rudeness the New York Philharmonic Orchestra had to stop in the middle of a performance because some old fart in the front row of the audience did not turn off his cell phone. Conductor Alan Gilbert did his best to ignore the moron's phone but after three or four minutes of ringing he had all he could stans and he couldn't stans no more. He put his arms down signaling the musicians to stop playing. He then turned to the moron with the phone and politely asked "are you finished?". He maintained a very professional attitude and even calmed the audience down when it seemed they were ready to string the guy up. The old moron finally turned off his phone and the audience applauded when Mr. Gilbert gave the cue to resume play. The old fart either did not hear his phone or tried his best to ignore it hoping no one would think it was him. Well his stupidity nearly led to a riot and just shows how inconsiderate people are getting with these stupid phones.
I get a kick out of people that cannot turn their stupid phone off at any time. Unless your wife is expecting a baby the phone should be off when you are at a function. I also laugh when someone on the golf course is constantly on the phone. Are these calls that important? Why cannot they just leave a message and get called back after the function is done. What really pisses your King off are people that just do not care, especially at the movies. The attendees are instructed to turn off their phones prior to the start of the movie but a lot don't. They just cannot be unattached to the world for the two hours that the movie runs. Even texting at the movies drives me nuts. The damnable light is bright and is very distracting as they try to peck away to their friends. Jerks.
I do not, nor will I ever have, one of these stupid ultra loaded cell phones except for one that would be for emergency use only that you can get at Walmart. The Kingdom of Moronica does not receive enough calls to even warrant one of these technological nightmares. Hmm, maybe people think that a call to my monarchy is a long distance call??? Maybe they think they have to know all of the country code crappola to call me???? I don't give a hoot as I treasure my privacy a lot. If I am on the golf course, at a concert or at the movies that is my private time. I do not want to be connected to the world when I am busy. It seems that most people are addicted to these phones as everyone, but me, seems to have one. What is funny is that every couple of months they come out with a new version and people get trampled trying to get these monstrosities. They just HAVE to have the newest technology as if it is a national requirement to get it. What a bunch of goofballs!!!
Plus once you get your new toy you have to sign a lengthy contract to be in a system to be able to use it and the cost to be hooked up to one of those systems can be very expensive. To get the most out of your new toy you have to be hooked up to the most expensive package. These companies know that these people are hopelessly hooked and will pay anything to get the top of the line product because they know it is even worse than an addiction. Ugh!
Well, that is my rant on cell phones. All the vast majority of the people in this world want is to be able to attend an enjoyable function without the dingleding of a moron's cell phone interrupting the performance. All normal people ask is that you turn them off for the duration. I guess that is just too much to ask of you rude people out there.
I get a kick out of people that cannot turn their stupid phone off at any time. Unless your wife is expecting a baby the phone should be off when you are at a function. I also laugh when someone on the golf course is constantly on the phone. Are these calls that important? Why cannot they just leave a message and get called back after the function is done. What really pisses your King off are people that just do not care, especially at the movies. The attendees are instructed to turn off their phones prior to the start of the movie but a lot don't. They just cannot be unattached to the world for the two hours that the movie runs. Even texting at the movies drives me nuts. The damnable light is bright and is very distracting as they try to peck away to their friends. Jerks.
I do not, nor will I ever have, one of these stupid ultra loaded cell phones except for one that would be for emergency use only that you can get at Walmart. The Kingdom of Moronica does not receive enough calls to even warrant one of these technological nightmares. Hmm, maybe people think that a call to my monarchy is a long distance call??? Maybe they think they have to know all of the country code crappola to call me???? I don't give a hoot as I treasure my privacy a lot. If I am on the golf course, at a concert or at the movies that is my private time. I do not want to be connected to the world when I am busy. It seems that most people are addicted to these phones as everyone, but me, seems to have one. What is funny is that every couple of months they come out with a new version and people get trampled trying to get these monstrosities. They just HAVE to have the newest technology as if it is a national requirement to get it. What a bunch of goofballs!!!
Plus once you get your new toy you have to sign a lengthy contract to be in a system to be able to use it and the cost to be hooked up to one of those systems can be very expensive. To get the most out of your new toy you have to be hooked up to the most expensive package. These companies know that these people are hopelessly hooked and will pay anything to get the top of the line product because they know it is even worse than an addiction. Ugh!
Well, that is my rant on cell phones. All the vast majority of the people in this world want is to be able to attend an enjoyable function without the dingleding of a moron's cell phone interrupting the performance. All normal people ask is that you turn them off for the duration. I guess that is just too much to ask of you rude people out there.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Your King Thanks MSG
Yes, I am going to thank MSG for pulling their programming off Time-Warner. It has most certainly spared me from seeing some incredibly bad Buffalo Sabre games. That 2-0 loss versus Toronto must have been a honey! MSG has also spared me the sight of Mindy Ruff scratching his balding head behind the bench as he tries to figure out what is wrong with his team. I will tell you that the problem is at the top - Darcy Regier and Mindy Ruff himself. Mindy's system of cycling the puck has to be one of the most boring systems in the NHL to watch. Even the game, which was on Versus, where the Flyers simply stayed in their zone while Tampa played their notorious trap defense and sat back waiting for Philly to try to penetrate it packed more excitement than watching the Sabres try to play offense. What is the use of skating round and round in the corner of the offensive zone with the puck?? The last time I checked the net was pointed towards center ice and not the corners. That usually means that you ain't getting many scoring chances bub.
Unless I am mistaken the Sabres do have some talent but that talent is misused. Only Mindy Ruff can take a forty goal scorer and turn him into a ten goal plumber. Why would any free agent pure goal scorer ever want to sign with Buffalo?? It would be like living in Purgatory for the poor sap. While he may score a few goals Mindy would probably make him a fresh scratch more often than not since that player would not want to skate circles in the corner.
Man, what happened to those free skating days in the 1970's of the French Connection and the 1980's Edmonton Oilers teams?? Hockey in those days was a joy to watch as it was free skating with a lot of entertainment. That is what made me a fan. If I was a kid today I probably would not become an NHL fan because the product is so boring. And why is that?? Let me tell you - Players skating circles in the corners. Goalies that make 'Bib' the Michelin Man look like he works for Jenny Craig. Defensive systems that take the speed out of the game. And coaches that play not to lose instead of trying to win. When the lockout ended a few years ago the game loosened up a bit and looked like it was heading in the right direction but that was just a blip. The game has since returned to the boring, defensive system based game that is just plain terrible to watch. The NFL put in rules that loosened up the passing game and made it more fun to watch but not the NHL.
I have a few ideas that might help but I am sure that nobody in the NHL would care what I would have to say but they should as I am a fan. My first idea would make the goals a tad bigger. With goalies as good as they have ever been and bigger than ever give them more to cover. Find out what the percentage of the goal the goalies covered back in the sixties and make the goals bigger to regain that percentage. If you need to reset the record book to the day that the goal size changed then so be it. My second idea would be to penalize defensive zone systems. The neutral zone trap is like a big leech on the NHL and it just sucks the life out of the entertainment value of the game. It needs to be eliminated along with any other defense first system.
Boston versus Montreal is on the tube tonight but I just can't bear to watch the game in its present form. I want to be entertained. I want value if I decide to plunk some big bucks to go to Buffalo for a game. But that value, for me, is not there. Eventually more and more people are going to disenfranchised by the style of play in the NHL and change the channel or, in the worst case scenario, leave seas of empty seats in the arenas. The fans are still there but for how long? Atlanta could not draw flies to their games in their beautiful new arena so they moved to hockey starved Winnipeg where they pack the house nightly. Maybe if the game had more entertainment value they would have drawn better in Atlanta. The next team to go is Phoenix probably back to Quebec City, where its past team the Nordiques who went to Colorado, should have never left in the first place. A new arena is scheduled to be built there and it would be packed with fans for the Coyotes. Like Atlanta, Phoenix draws more scorpions to their games than fans. It was a mistake to move them south in the first place but then again, if the NHL put out a more entertaining product maybe more people would shell out their hard earned dough to attend the Coyotes' games. But then again maybe Phoenix is just not a hockey city.
The NHL needs to get its moronic act together and figure something out, especially with another player contract to be negotiated before next season, because if they have another lockout the fans may not come back. I love hockey in its pure form. It is a shame that is has deteriorated to the crap that is on the ice now for us to suffer through. It used to be 'forecheck, backcheck, paycheck' but now its 'trap, snore, cycle, snore, trap, snore and cycle some more'. UGH!!!! Time for me to finish as they are now selling vacuums on the shopping network and that is considerably more exciting than watching hockey. Good night my friends.
Unless I am mistaken the Sabres do have some talent but that talent is misused. Only Mindy Ruff can take a forty goal scorer and turn him into a ten goal plumber. Why would any free agent pure goal scorer ever want to sign with Buffalo?? It would be like living in Purgatory for the poor sap. While he may score a few goals Mindy would probably make him a fresh scratch more often than not since that player would not want to skate circles in the corner.
Man, what happened to those free skating days in the 1970's of the French Connection and the 1980's Edmonton Oilers teams?? Hockey in those days was a joy to watch as it was free skating with a lot of entertainment. That is what made me a fan. If I was a kid today I probably would not become an NHL fan because the product is so boring. And why is that?? Let me tell you - Players skating circles in the corners. Goalies that make 'Bib' the Michelin Man look like he works for Jenny Craig. Defensive systems that take the speed out of the game. And coaches that play not to lose instead of trying to win. When the lockout ended a few years ago the game loosened up a bit and looked like it was heading in the right direction but that was just a blip. The game has since returned to the boring, defensive system based game that is just plain terrible to watch. The NFL put in rules that loosened up the passing game and made it more fun to watch but not the NHL.
I have a few ideas that might help but I am sure that nobody in the NHL would care what I would have to say but they should as I am a fan. My first idea would make the goals a tad bigger. With goalies as good as they have ever been and bigger than ever give them more to cover. Find out what the percentage of the goal the goalies covered back in the sixties and make the goals bigger to regain that percentage. If you need to reset the record book to the day that the goal size changed then so be it. My second idea would be to penalize defensive zone systems. The neutral zone trap is like a big leech on the NHL and it just sucks the life out of the entertainment value of the game. It needs to be eliminated along with any other defense first system.
Boston versus Montreal is on the tube tonight but I just can't bear to watch the game in its present form. I want to be entertained. I want value if I decide to plunk some big bucks to go to Buffalo for a game. But that value, for me, is not there. Eventually more and more people are going to disenfranchised by the style of play in the NHL and change the channel or, in the worst case scenario, leave seas of empty seats in the arenas. The fans are still there but for how long? Atlanta could not draw flies to their games in their beautiful new arena so they moved to hockey starved Winnipeg where they pack the house nightly. Maybe if the game had more entertainment value they would have drawn better in Atlanta. The next team to go is Phoenix probably back to Quebec City, where its past team the Nordiques who went to Colorado, should have never left in the first place. A new arena is scheduled to be built there and it would be packed with fans for the Coyotes. Like Atlanta, Phoenix draws more scorpions to their games than fans. It was a mistake to move them south in the first place but then again, if the NHL put out a more entertaining product maybe more people would shell out their hard earned dough to attend the Coyotes' games. But then again maybe Phoenix is just not a hockey city.
The NHL needs to get its moronic act together and figure something out, especially with another player contract to be negotiated before next season, because if they have another lockout the fans may not come back. I love hockey in its pure form. It is a shame that is has deteriorated to the crap that is on the ice now for us to suffer through. It used to be 'forecheck, backcheck, paycheck' but now its 'trap, snore, cycle, snore, trap, snore and cycle some more'. UGH!!!! Time for me to finish as they are now selling vacuums on the shopping network and that is considerably more exciting than watching hockey. Good night my friends.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
King Shocked!!!
In a game that should have not been as close as it was. In a game I fully expected the Pittsburgh Steelers to just beat up on the Bronco's QB and make him look foolish. In a game that never should have gone into overtime except for a bad ref's quick whistle the Denver Broncos somehow, someway beat the Pittsburgh Steelers. The only way I ever thought this could happen would be for the Broncos to knock Pittsburgh's gimpy QB out of the game early by targeting his bad ankle. Roethlisberger hung tough and almost pulled it out despite Denver taking a big lead into halftime. Big Ben gallantly led them back and tied the game with a bit more than four minutes left in the fourth quarter. The Steelers got the ball back with plenty of time to kick a winning field goal but the game ended up going into overtime when Denver's defensive line forced a sack to end regulation.
But going back to the bad call. In the third quarter the Steelers had the ball deep in their own territory. Big Ben took the snap, took a step back and threw an obvious lateral to his receiver who dropped it and it was quickly recovered by Denver. All replays showed it was a lateral but the stupid ref blew his whistle and called it an incomplete pass. Denver should have had the ball poised to score to extend their two touchdown lead but instead Pittsburgh ended up marching down the field, after its big gift from a useless referee, and scoring a touchdown. NFL referee's have been told to let the play run in such a close situation and to make the call after the play. Obviously this referee did not get the memo on that and screwed the Broncos, though his bad call did lead to an incredibly exciting finish.
Tim Tebow had trouble throwing the short ball all game but man does he throw a nice deep ball. John Elway told him to pull the trigger and boy did he respond. He reminds me of a latter day Darryl Lamonica who was known as the mad bomber. Tim completed numerous long passes on the Pittsburgh secondary, a secondary that was incredibly stingy in giving up big plays this year. Poor Ike Taylor, after his perfomance and the fact it was Tebow that picked on him, will forever now be known as Ike "Toast" Taylor. It was plain to see that Tim's running ability came into play on a few long passes as the threat of his running pulled Steeler defensive ace Palomalu out of position opening up throwing lanes.
The game went into overtime for the first time in the playoffs using the new OT rules. These rules were installed to prevent a cheap field goal winning the game. If a team scored a TD, or the defense scored, it was over. Tebow's Broncos didn't even give us a chance to see the new rules in action as on the first play in OT he hit his receiver twenty yards downfield in stride and one great stiff arm later he was headed for the end zone to finish off an eighty yard pass play. I sat on the couch in shock, as I am sure a few of my friends including Repoman were, and just said OMG Tebow did it again! But I think his magic will end next week because Brady is a machine and the Pats will kill them. Good night my friends.
PS: I have good news readers of my blog. My occasional Buffalo Sabre updates now have a sponsor. It is "Hockey Talk With Hornswoggle"!!! You can hear it daily 8:30am -5:00pm Monday through Friday on WHTK 1280 AM. All hockey all of the time!! Call in, get the latest updates, Philadelphia Flyer and Rochester Amerks news will be highlighted. Again it is "Hockey Talk With Hornswoggle" so please tune in and tell him to get back to work.
But going back to the bad call. In the third quarter the Steelers had the ball deep in their own territory. Big Ben took the snap, took a step back and threw an obvious lateral to his receiver who dropped it and it was quickly recovered by Denver. All replays showed it was a lateral but the stupid ref blew his whistle and called it an incomplete pass. Denver should have had the ball poised to score to extend their two touchdown lead but instead Pittsburgh ended up marching down the field, after its big gift from a useless referee, and scoring a touchdown. NFL referee's have been told to let the play run in such a close situation and to make the call after the play. Obviously this referee did not get the memo on that and screwed the Broncos, though his bad call did lead to an incredibly exciting finish.
Tim Tebow had trouble throwing the short ball all game but man does he throw a nice deep ball. John Elway told him to pull the trigger and boy did he respond. He reminds me of a latter day Darryl Lamonica who was known as the mad bomber. Tim completed numerous long passes on the Pittsburgh secondary, a secondary that was incredibly stingy in giving up big plays this year. Poor Ike Taylor, after his perfomance and the fact it was Tebow that picked on him, will forever now be known as Ike "Toast" Taylor. It was plain to see that Tim's running ability came into play on a few long passes as the threat of his running pulled Steeler defensive ace Palomalu out of position opening up throwing lanes.
The game went into overtime for the first time in the playoffs using the new OT rules. These rules were installed to prevent a cheap field goal winning the game. If a team scored a TD, or the defense scored, it was over. Tebow's Broncos didn't even give us a chance to see the new rules in action as on the first play in OT he hit his receiver twenty yards downfield in stride and one great stiff arm later he was headed for the end zone to finish off an eighty yard pass play. I sat on the couch in shock, as I am sure a few of my friends including Repoman were, and just said OMG Tebow did it again! But I think his magic will end next week because Brady is a machine and the Pats will kill them. Good night my friends.
PS: I have good news readers of my blog. My occasional Buffalo Sabre updates now have a sponsor. It is "Hockey Talk With Hornswoggle"!!! You can hear it daily 8:30am -5:00pm Monday through Friday on WHTK 1280 AM. All hockey all of the time!! Call in, get the latest updates, Philadelphia Flyer and Rochester Amerks news will be highlighted. Again it is "Hockey Talk With Hornswoggle" so please tune in and tell him to get back to work.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
OMG!! King Dinglefritz Wins First Match of the Year
For the seventh day of January it was quit a a nice day in Western New York. So nice in fact that your King went down to Geneseo and played golf with the usual crew for the first time ever in the month of January. It was really starting to warm nicely until the sixth hole when the front passed through and made it just a tad cooler and also bringing with it a change in wind direction and increasing its speed. The sun also went behind some high clouds which took away a bit of its warming effect.
My point total to hit for eighteen holes was seventeen points and it was a battle to get to it. My front nine was very nondescript with pars on the two par fives, three bogeys and four of the dreaded 'others' so I made the turn with seven points. Wow. Man, after the first three holes it looked like Dave was going to run away with it as he had seven points to my two. But there was hope as I was putting rather well and I had some semblance of a short game which was a surprise after not playing for a month which countered my very sporadic driving off the tee. I gave myself some decent opportunities with my chipping and always seemed to leave myself with tap ins when I missed a lengthy putt. I had a number of putts within six feet and only missed one of them which, for me, is great and that was the five footer on thirteen for par.
Making the turn it looked like more of the same with one of those rotten 'others' on ten but I parred number eleven and bogeyed the very tough twelfth hole. After a crappy tee shot that was about twenty five yards to the right on the par three thirteenth I hit a great chip but left my par putt on the rim of the cup. Unfortunately Carl Spackler was not blowing up gophers that day so I tapped in, took a bogey and a point. Now getting to the hole of the day, and maybe the year, the par five fourteenth. After a great drive I hit a six iron to the right side of the green leaving me a thirty five foot putt for eagle. The last time I played fourteen I sank a birdie putt from about the same line though a bit closer so I had a good idea what the putt was going to do. I lined it up and gave it a spanking and right from the start I knew it was going to be close. When the ball was about 5 feet from the hole I could see I was going to be a very happy King and started to run it out and, of course, I went nuts when it dropped as it gave me six big points. OMG, it has been so long since my last eagle, well over twenty years, and it baffles me why I do not get a few more of them. I have the strength to reach the par fives in two but I usually manage to do something stupid after a great drive but, thank goodness, not today. I tried to keep my nerves calm but the next three holes where pretty much a disaster, even with me putting well, as the 'out of bounds monster' bit me on fifteen and sixteen. Going into the eighteenth hole I did not figure that I was in the ballgame for our little tourney until Dave told me I had a one point lead. I was completely surprised at that fact as I thought Dave was well into the lead. Okay, I just had to play eighteen with a semblance of sanity and I should win. So I had a decent drive, not too good of a second shot as it was about fifteen yards to the right of the green pin high. I wanted to make sure that my chip was was at least on the green past the hole and it ended up about ten feet past it which satisfied me as it gave me a pretty straight uphill putt. Dave ended up with bogey leaving me with a two putt for a win but I put my par putt right into the heart of the cup. Not a bad finish for your King. It wasn't that big of a win as there were only four of us but hey, a win is a win. Maybe January is my month for golf??? Maybe that is why there is usually a ton of snow in January so I can't play.
It was interesting as I had one of my poorer days off the tee but still won. It again proves that you drive for show and putt for dough. I think part of my problem off the tee was that my front foot would slip as I was striking the ball as it was rather wet which led to some rather interesting drives. My twenty yard drive on eight was a peach but I did out drive Hondo by ten yards. Nothing like getting a round in during the dead of winter to put a smile on your face. I would have been satisfied with just getting that eagle but the win was an unexpected surprise.
Normally I would not bore you with an extensive royal golf update but getting an eagle, and playing a round of golf, in the month of January is worthy of note. I will try not to bore you with such a lengthy golf report in the future unless, of course, there are more eagles in my future. Please have a great evening!
My point total to hit for eighteen holes was seventeen points and it was a battle to get to it. My front nine was very nondescript with pars on the two par fives, three bogeys and four of the dreaded 'others' so I made the turn with seven points. Wow. Man, after the first three holes it looked like Dave was going to run away with it as he had seven points to my two. But there was hope as I was putting rather well and I had some semblance of a short game which was a surprise after not playing for a month which countered my very sporadic driving off the tee. I gave myself some decent opportunities with my chipping and always seemed to leave myself with tap ins when I missed a lengthy putt. I had a number of putts within six feet and only missed one of them which, for me, is great and that was the five footer on thirteen for par.
Making the turn it looked like more of the same with one of those rotten 'others' on ten but I parred number eleven and bogeyed the very tough twelfth hole. After a crappy tee shot that was about twenty five yards to the right on the par three thirteenth I hit a great chip but left my par putt on the rim of the cup. Unfortunately Carl Spackler was not blowing up gophers that day so I tapped in, took a bogey and a point. Now getting to the hole of the day, and maybe the year, the par five fourteenth. After a great drive I hit a six iron to the right side of the green leaving me a thirty five foot putt for eagle. The last time I played fourteen I sank a birdie putt from about the same line though a bit closer so I had a good idea what the putt was going to do. I lined it up and gave it a spanking and right from the start I knew it was going to be close. When the ball was about 5 feet from the hole I could see I was going to be a very happy King and started to run it out and, of course, I went nuts when it dropped as it gave me six big points. OMG, it has been so long since my last eagle, well over twenty years, and it baffles me why I do not get a few more of them. I have the strength to reach the par fives in two but I usually manage to do something stupid after a great drive but, thank goodness, not today. I tried to keep my nerves calm but the next three holes where pretty much a disaster, even with me putting well, as the 'out of bounds monster' bit me on fifteen and sixteen. Going into the eighteenth hole I did not figure that I was in the ballgame for our little tourney until Dave told me I had a one point lead. I was completely surprised at that fact as I thought Dave was well into the lead. Okay, I just had to play eighteen with a semblance of sanity and I should win. So I had a decent drive, not too good of a second shot as it was about fifteen yards to the right of the green pin high. I wanted to make sure that my chip was was at least on the green past the hole and it ended up about ten feet past it which satisfied me as it gave me a pretty straight uphill putt. Dave ended up with bogey leaving me with a two putt for a win but I put my par putt right into the heart of the cup. Not a bad finish for your King. It wasn't that big of a win as there were only four of us but hey, a win is a win. Maybe January is my month for golf??? Maybe that is why there is usually a ton of snow in January so I can't play.
It was interesting as I had one of my poorer days off the tee but still won. It again proves that you drive for show and putt for dough. I think part of my problem off the tee was that my front foot would slip as I was striking the ball as it was rather wet which led to some rather interesting drives. My twenty yard drive on eight was a peach but I did out drive Hondo by ten yards. Nothing like getting a round in during the dead of winter to put a smile on your face. I would have been satisfied with just getting that eagle but the win was an unexpected surprise.
Normally I would not bore you with an extensive royal golf update but getting an eagle, and playing a round of golf, in the month of January is worthy of note. I will try not to bore you with such a lengthy golf report in the future unless, of course, there are more eagles in my future. Please have a great evening!
Friday, January 6, 2012
Royal Ramblings
1) Well, I froze my arse off at work this afternoon. For some reason the air conditioner was blasting away at the end of the work day. Now I am a creature that does not mind the cold as I have a nice layer of fat along with my personal fur coat. I chuckle when I think the office is warm and I see my co-workers bundled up like Eskimos trying to stay warm. Today I was not chuckling since if I was feeling very cold I wonder what the state of all of my co-workers who think warm is cold must have been feeling. The poor saps must have been frozen stiff. Maybe they are preparing for their Polar Plunge next month. Nothing like getting acclimated to the cold so that dip in Lake Ontario will be bearable. Still, air conditioning in January???? Oh well, I guess it must be cheaper to run the air conditioner in the winter than the summer.
2) I was simply baffled when I saw that Elin Woods was razing her 12.4 million dollar mansion to build a new one. In my eyes that is a quintessential waste of money. Why would she do this? Wouldn't it behoove her to try to sell it and use the money to build one that suits her and the brats? It bothers me in a time when so many people are struggling to make ends meet I see such a big waste of money. Is she just trying to piss Tiger off? I wonder what Tiger is thinking of as his old mansion is becoming a footnote. While I still consider Tiger to be a complete moron for what he did to Elin I just cannot see the purpose in what Elin is doing.
3) It is now day six of the MSG blackout. No Sabres versus Carolina tonight on cable. I may have to go to Sabre detox/rehab if this nonsense continues much longer as you can tell I have been spending too much of my free time lately doing moronic posts on my stupid site. I must be starting down the path of becoming a Sabre Zombie. Oh dear, I think I really do need help!! I thought I may have overheard somewhere that the Attorney General of NY may get involved in this matter. Hmmm, maybe he is a Knicks fan but I won't hold that against him if he does figure something out. Basketball...UGH!!!
4) Well, what little snow we had is now gone. It hit 53 outside today. Hmm, maybe that is why the air condition went on at work today. I just called one of my golfing buddies and they are playing golf tomorrow so I think I will join them for some January golf. I must be crazy, well, I am sure that you would all agree to that fact anyways after reading a few of my moronic posts.
Well, I guess that is enough for tonight. Time to throw the clubs in the car for one last blast. It is supposed to start sucking bigtime next weekend as the bitter cold air that is currently holed up in Alaska is being forecast to move south. But then again the way the weathermen have been predicting things lately it will probably be sunny and mild. Good night my friends.
2) I was simply baffled when I saw that Elin Woods was razing her 12.4 million dollar mansion to build a new one. In my eyes that is a quintessential waste of money. Why would she do this? Wouldn't it behoove her to try to sell it and use the money to build one that suits her and the brats? It bothers me in a time when so many people are struggling to make ends meet I see such a big waste of money. Is she just trying to piss Tiger off? I wonder what Tiger is thinking of as his old mansion is becoming a footnote. While I still consider Tiger to be a complete moron for what he did to Elin I just cannot see the purpose in what Elin is doing.
3) It is now day six of the MSG blackout. No Sabres versus Carolina tonight on cable. I may have to go to Sabre detox/rehab if this nonsense continues much longer as you can tell I have been spending too much of my free time lately doing moronic posts on my stupid site. I must be starting down the path of becoming a Sabre Zombie. Oh dear, I think I really do need help!! I thought I may have overheard somewhere that the Attorney General of NY may get involved in this matter. Hmmm, maybe he is a Knicks fan but I won't hold that against him if he does figure something out. Basketball...UGH!!!
4) Well, what little snow we had is now gone. It hit 53 outside today. Hmm, maybe that is why the air condition went on at work today. I just called one of my golfing buddies and they are playing golf tomorrow so I think I will join them for some January golf. I must be crazy, well, I am sure that you would all agree to that fact anyways after reading a few of my moronic posts.
Well, I guess that is enough for tonight. Time to throw the clubs in the car for one last blast. It is supposed to start sucking bigtime next weekend as the bitter cold air that is currently holed up in Alaska is being forecast to move south. But then again the way the weathermen have been predicting things lately it will probably be sunny and mild. Good night my friends.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Krappola From Your King
1) I happened to watch a high school basketball video that seems to have become viral. This video was taken by a person who was very concerned about flagrant fouls not being called by the refs. Boy was he right on! This video stars, who I believe is one of the biggest goons in high school basketball, #34 Cole Vanderbilt of Connell High in the state of Washington. The first thing you notice is that this kid is huge, very huge compared to all of the other kids on the floor. There were six fouls highlighted, all by Connell High, in this video. Mr. Vanderbilt had four of them and I must say all were of the very violent variety. This kid hacked away at the opposition more than a lumberjack with an axe in a forest. I was surprised that no one got hurt by this moron. Now some of you may feel that I am a bit harsh in calling this kid a moron but just see the video if you can. This kid should not being allowed on the court again.
2) I was watching the telly last night and I saw a commercial for "The General" car insurance. It featured the 'General' playing football. What I noticed right off the bat is that the General has a much better throwing technique than Bronco's QB Tim Tebow. Tim should watch the General throw. Maybe he could learn a thing or two from him besides getting cheap insurance.
3) It is now day five of the great blackout by MSG. The next Sabre game to be blacked out is tomorrow. I don't even have the Rochester Amerks as an option this weekend as they are away. Jeez!!! It will be interesting to see if the Amerk's attendence jumps now that the Sabres are not on the tube.
4) The weathermen struck again. They predicted 5-9 inches of lake effect snow Monday overnight into Tuesday. Well, we got maybe an inch. Even in this rather warm, so far, winter of 2011-12 they still prove time after time that they do not have a clue. It is January fifth and I still haven't used my snowblower yet. Last year at this time it was almost burnt out from all of the white crap. So far this has been one hell of a nice winter. Maybe Mother Nature is making amends for the crappy spring we had last year.
Well, my two typing fingers are starting to wear out so I guess I will call it a night. Remember, stay away from tobacco and alcohol or you too may have to resign as Airport Director!!!! Good night my friends!!
2) I was watching the telly last night and I saw a commercial for "The General" car insurance. It featured the 'General' playing football. What I noticed right off the bat is that the General has a much better throwing technique than Bronco's QB Tim Tebow. Tim should watch the General throw. Maybe he could learn a thing or two from him besides getting cheap insurance.
3) It is now day five of the great blackout by MSG. The next Sabre game to be blacked out is tomorrow. I don't even have the Rochester Amerks as an option this weekend as they are away. Jeez!!! It will be interesting to see if the Amerk's attendence jumps now that the Sabres are not on the tube.
4) The weathermen struck again. They predicted 5-9 inches of lake effect snow Monday overnight into Tuesday. Well, we got maybe an inch. Even in this rather warm, so far, winter of 2011-12 they still prove time after time that they do not have a clue. It is January fifth and I still haven't used my snowblower yet. Last year at this time it was almost burnt out from all of the white crap. So far this has been one hell of a nice winter. Maybe Mother Nature is making amends for the crappy spring we had last year.
Well, my two typing fingers are starting to wear out so I guess I will call it a night. Remember, stay away from tobacco and alcohol or you too may have to resign as Airport Director!!!! Good night my friends!!
Your King Says Alcohol and Tobacco Are Bad For You
Yes, you heard it here from your friend in delivering the latest news featuring moronica to you. If you ever plan to become a director of the Rochester International Airport in NY State, and keeping the job, you need to stay away from these things as they are very bad for you.
About a year ago Dave Damelio was the director of this airport and he loved his cigars. Boy did he love his cigars. He loved them so much that he racked up $17,000 worth of cigar purchases on Monroe County's dime. This idiot figured that the County's credit card was his own and racked up a lot of his personal spending on the thing. Cigars were the number one item followed by strip clubs and the like...all in the purpose of entertaining clients he said. Actually it was all about entertaining himself. What a moron. See kids, you need to stay away from tobacco!!!
Susan Walsh replaced Mr. Damelio as the Airport's director soon after this scandal unfolded. Well, in continuing the trend of morons being selected by Maggie Brooks to run our Airport Ms. Walsh, a couple of weeks ago, was arrested for misdemeanor DWI. She may have been fine with it except her moronic tendencies shined brightly through. First, Ms. Walsh was driving a County vehicle while drunk. Second, she board checked another vehicle while in the County car while driving drunk. Third, she asked for "help" from the arresting officer after her accident in the county vehicle while driving drunk. Any imbecile knows what kind of 'help' Ms. Walsh was asking for. There has been no information released about her whereabouts from 1:00 pm until her arrest. Supposedly she was at the Airport Christmas party but where she went after that nobody knows. She ended up resigning from her post only a couple of days ago. What a moron!!! See kids, you need to stay away from alcohol.
Does it have to say on the resumes, that are submitted to the person in charge of hiring these people for the position of Airport Director, that you are a moron? Obviously whomever reviewed the resumes skipped over that paragraph. Being a moron must be a key asset to have in order to become the Airport Director. I am the King of Moronica so you would think that I should be a natural to be hired for this position but I lack the basic trait that is seemingly required for this job - Stupidity.
Unless, of course, it is the job itself that drives you to become a moron. There are jobs that do that. Barack Obama was thought to be a very intelligent man before becoming President. Now over half the country thinks he has become a moron. It must be the job.
So in conclusion kids stay away from tobacco and alcohol!!! Unless, of course, you want to become Director of the Rochester International Airport.
About a year ago Dave Damelio was the director of this airport and he loved his cigars. Boy did he love his cigars. He loved them so much that he racked up $17,000 worth of cigar purchases on Monroe County's dime. This idiot figured that the County's credit card was his own and racked up a lot of his personal spending on the thing. Cigars were the number one item followed by strip clubs and the like...all in the purpose of entertaining clients he said. Actually it was all about entertaining himself. What a moron. See kids, you need to stay away from tobacco!!!
Susan Walsh replaced Mr. Damelio as the Airport's director soon after this scandal unfolded. Well, in continuing the trend of morons being selected by Maggie Brooks to run our Airport Ms. Walsh, a couple of weeks ago, was arrested for misdemeanor DWI. She may have been fine with it except her moronic tendencies shined brightly through. First, Ms. Walsh was driving a County vehicle while drunk. Second, she board checked another vehicle while in the County car while driving drunk. Third, she asked for "help" from the arresting officer after her accident in the county vehicle while driving drunk. Any imbecile knows what kind of 'help' Ms. Walsh was asking for. There has been no information released about her whereabouts from 1:00 pm until her arrest. Supposedly she was at the Airport Christmas party but where she went after that nobody knows. She ended up resigning from her post only a couple of days ago. What a moron!!! See kids, you need to stay away from alcohol.
Does it have to say on the resumes, that are submitted to the person in charge of hiring these people for the position of Airport Director, that you are a moron? Obviously whomever reviewed the resumes skipped over that paragraph. Being a moron must be a key asset to have in order to become the Airport Director. I am the King of Moronica so you would think that I should be a natural to be hired for this position but I lack the basic trait that is seemingly required for this job - Stupidity.
Unless, of course, it is the job itself that drives you to become a moron. There are jobs that do that. Barack Obama was thought to be a very intelligent man before becoming President. Now over half the country thinks he has become a moron. It must be the job.
So in conclusion kids stay away from tobacco and alcohol!!! Unless, of course, you want to become Director of the Rochester International Airport.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Breakfast For All???
While surfing through the internet today I happened onto the website of Dean Greco. Dean is a 28 year old middle school teacher in New Jersey. This past November he ran for Congress in the 7th District of that state. His party is "The All-Day Breakfast Party". This party's main plank is to promote breakfast as the most important meal of the day. Dean managed to gather 3,259 votes in his bid for election. I applaud his efforts to try to get into Congress though I find his party and its main plank a bit....moronic. Being that it is my job to report on moronica in any form that it may show up I have to give this gentleman a little blurb. He reminds me of Jimmy McMillan who tried to run for governor of the state of New York for the "Rent is Too Damn High Party". Jimmy actually got a rather high number of votes for his fringe party. I cannot remember the exact number though 12,000 rings a bell.
But getting back to our friend Dean. As I stated I find his party a bit moronic but I believe in his right to run for elected office. Maybe the guy is right. Maybe breakfast should be a more important part of your day than it is for most of us. I know what I have in the morning is very ridiculous and moronic, ok if you must know it is usually a pop tart and a coke. Not the healthiest of breakfasts as I usually get laughed at by whoever walks by my cube when I am munching it down. Maybe if I did have a good breakfast I would be better off at work during the day and a more pleasant bloke to deal with. Probably not but who knows.
Once in a while I see the other groups in the office order that disease called 'Breakfast Pizza'. I prefer to call it 'Heart attack on a crust" as you can see the cholesterol just dripping off it when you grab a piece. It looks good and tastes good, that is if it is the bacon type, so you know that it is not good for you. Isn't that typically the case for any food? Once in a blue moon on a weekend I will cook up bacon, eggs and a few slices of toast for a breakfast but, for my arteries sake, I try to limit it to once a month. Before I golf I will usually have a bowl of cereal to give me some energy but I still get my ass kicked. Generally I wait until lunch and combine the two. Okay, I get the sense that I am boring the crap out of my readership so I will end this nonsense about my eating habits.
Again I say bully for Dean Greco. Maybe someone has decided to start his or her day off with a healthier breakfast thanks to him. 3,259 people thought he was right. Maybe I should run for Congress for the "Make King Crab Cheaper Party" this coming November. Please send your donations to King Dinglefritz c/o Moronica CFO, Moronica, NY 0U812 if you consider this an important issue. No donation is too small. Thank you and good night.
But getting back to our friend Dean. As I stated I find his party a bit moronic but I believe in his right to run for elected office. Maybe the guy is right. Maybe breakfast should be a more important part of your day than it is for most of us. I know what I have in the morning is very ridiculous and moronic, ok if you must know it is usually a pop tart and a coke. Not the healthiest of breakfasts as I usually get laughed at by whoever walks by my cube when I am munching it down. Maybe if I did have a good breakfast I would be better off at work during the day and a more pleasant bloke to deal with. Probably not but who knows.
Once in a while I see the other groups in the office order that disease called 'Breakfast Pizza'. I prefer to call it 'Heart attack on a crust" as you can see the cholesterol just dripping off it when you grab a piece. It looks good and tastes good, that is if it is the bacon type, so you know that it is not good for you. Isn't that typically the case for any food? Once in a blue moon on a weekend I will cook up bacon, eggs and a few slices of toast for a breakfast but, for my arteries sake, I try to limit it to once a month. Before I golf I will usually have a bowl of cereal to give me some energy but I still get my ass kicked. Generally I wait until lunch and combine the two. Okay, I get the sense that I am boring the crap out of my readership so I will end this nonsense about my eating habits.
Again I say bully for Dean Greco. Maybe someone has decided to start his or her day off with a healthier breakfast thanks to him. 3,259 people thought he was right. Maybe I should run for Congress for the "Make King Crab Cheaper Party" this coming November. Please send your donations to King Dinglefritz c/o Moronica CFO, Moronica, NY 0U812 if you consider this an important issue. No donation is too small. Thank you and good night.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Moronica Running Rampant!!!
Your King's job is to report on moronic things when they occur. Well today takes the cake when it comes to morons. Dean Spanos, owner of the San Diego Chargers decided to keep the worst coach in the league as his head coach. Norv Turner make Mr. Mind, Dick Jauron, look like a total genius. How can a team that has so much talent not make the playoffs two years in a row?? I can see keeping the GM as he has built a decent team but Norv Turner has not won at all during his coaching tour of the NFL. He sucked in Washington. He sucked in Oakland and now he has taken a team that was 14-2 under Marty Schottenheimer and turned them into an underachieving, inconsistent mess. But somehow Dean Spanos must have taken a big gulp of the Norv Turner kool-aid and is blinded to the fact that everyone is laughing at him. The team's fans must be in an uproar over this. Is Mr. Spanos trying to drive away the fan base so he can move the team to Los Angeles?? That sounds logical to me. I guess 8-8 seasons must excite Mr. Spanos to the extent that he has become a moron in keeping this loser. Schottenheimer may not have been Mr. Excitement but he won...a lot. His trouble was getting to the big game as he was too conservative with his play calling in the playoffs when a little inspiration and daring could have made the difference. Norv can't even get this talent laden team to the playoffs. What is it about Norv that keeps him as the coach of San Diego? Does he know where Dean Spanos has buried a few bodies? Does he have some incriminating sexual pictures of the owner that he is keeping for blackmail?? I guess only the Shadow knows for sure here.
The Sabres are playing the Edmonton Oilers tonight in Buffalo but the game is not on the tube. That is because the two babies, Time Warner (TW) and Madison Square Garden Network (MSG) have both taken their toys and gone home leaving us all Sabreless. While the Sabres may stink and their offense is about as exciting to watch as paint dry they are still the team of Moronica. What is needed here is to have a Federal Mediator come in, hear both sides of the argument and decide a fair and equitable deal for both of them. This childishness between both parties must cease. Both TW and MSG need a good spanking by their mothers and told that they must play together or they won't play at all. I just had a good chuckle while typing this crap out. They had a commercial for TW on the tube with the catchphrase "Won't miss your favorite shows ever!". What a crock of shazitt!!! I am missing the Sabres so that catchphrase is a bunch of bullshazitt!!! Can we sue over that out and out lie?? Repoman, can you answer that? Oh well, the longer TW and MSG feud the more the fan base of the teams that MSG carries will fade away. As far as I know only Directv carries MSG right now. The advertisers on MSG must be drooling over that market share that their advertising dollars are being used for now.
Beau Bridges for President. Yes, you heard it here. It seems that whenever a movie that features an earthquake destroying a significant chunck of America is being cast they get Beau Bridges to be the president. Even though half the country gets destroyed in these movies we always seem to move on. Considering the disastrous condition the country is in it is time to get Beau in there to right the ship. He always seems to make the right decisions that prevent the disaster from becoming an out and out calamity. So, before the nation becomes a calamity, we need to get Beau Bridges elected as our leader. Remember to get out and vote for Beau. Vote early and vote often!!!!
Okay, enough moronica for tonight. Have a nice evening!!
The Sabres are playing the Edmonton Oilers tonight in Buffalo but the game is not on the tube. That is because the two babies, Time Warner (TW) and Madison Square Garden Network (MSG) have both taken their toys and gone home leaving us all Sabreless. While the Sabres may stink and their offense is about as exciting to watch as paint dry they are still the team of Moronica. What is needed here is to have a Federal Mediator come in, hear both sides of the argument and decide a fair and equitable deal for both of them. This childishness between both parties must cease. Both TW and MSG need a good spanking by their mothers and told that they must play together or they won't play at all. I just had a good chuckle while typing this crap out. They had a commercial for TW on the tube with the catchphrase "Won't miss your favorite shows ever!". What a crock of shazitt!!! I am missing the Sabres so that catchphrase is a bunch of bullshazitt!!! Can we sue over that out and out lie?? Repoman, can you answer that? Oh well, the longer TW and MSG feud the more the fan base of the teams that MSG carries will fade away. As far as I know only Directv carries MSG right now. The advertisers on MSG must be drooling over that market share that their advertising dollars are being used for now.
Beau Bridges for President. Yes, you heard it here. It seems that whenever a movie that features an earthquake destroying a significant chunck of America is being cast they get Beau Bridges to be the president. Even though half the country gets destroyed in these movies we always seem to move on. Considering the disastrous condition the country is in it is time to get Beau in there to right the ship. He always seems to make the right decisions that prevent the disaster from becoming an out and out calamity. So, before the nation becomes a calamity, we need to get Beau Bridges elected as our leader. Remember to get out and vote for Beau. Vote early and vote often!!!!
Okay, enough moronica for tonight. Have a nice evening!!
Monday, January 2, 2012
Buffalo Bills Makes King ill
It was starting to snow outside, but it has since stopped for the time being, so I decided to do my year end rant on the Buffalo Bills. I take pride in the fact that I did not drink the kool-aid when the Bills were 5-2 and think that the Bills actually had a chance to make the playoffs. I figured 8-8 would be a good result for them for the year but they disappointed. The Bill's last game against the Patriots was a perfect microcosm of their season - fast start with an absolutely dreadful finish. Even when the Bills went up 21-0 I figured that the Pats would still win this game, though I thought the Bills would score a few more times. This game is the second game of the year that I believe wide receiver Stevie Johnson cost the Bills an opportunity to win. The idiot caught a touchdown pass and decided to let the world see what he wrote on his tee shirt. He got flagged for it and Coach Gailey, who had issued a prior warning against such crap, benched him and rightly so. I applaud Gailey for standing for his principles and sitting him. Gailey is a class act, Johnson is not. Hell, Johnson even blew off a scheduled appearance at a car dealership here in Rochester but Fred Jackson was the man and more than made up for his teammate's lack of responsibility.
Stevie Johnson thinks he is the perfect combination of Larry Fitzgerald and Terrell Owens wrapped into one. HAH!!! Johnson is a third rate receiver who would be the number three guy on any other team in the league. His contract is now up and I hope he takes his antics, immaturity and perfectly timed costly drops to another sap of a team. Even T.O., during his stint with the Bills, did not do the crap that this guy does. This guy wants top receiver money in his next contract and boy will he be in for a surprise when he hits the market, but then again I could be wrong as the Toronto Maples Leafs gave ten million dollars for two years to Sabre reject 'Tiny' Tim Connolly.
I have to admit that I was a bit in shock when the Bills went up 21-0 but I knew, even then, that it would not last so I did not get too excited. Buffalo actually continued to move the ball rather well the rest of the game but Ryan 'Grizzly Adams' Fitzpatrick returned to his Santa Claus self and gave lots of presents to a pitiful Patriot secondary. The Bills also continued to make that one silly mistake in each drive afterwards that just killed them. Either it was a gift interception or something even more stupid like a bad snap from center in the shotgun. Even when the Bills had the Pats backed into a corner on third and long they gave the Pats a few first downs via the dreaded yellow flag and you know what always happens after that....Patriot Touchdown!!
The Bills need a few more studs on defense as there does seem to be some hope for them in the future on that side of the ball. A new Defensive Coordinator would a nice start. So would a quality pass rushing stud or two to rattle the opponents QBs. They also need more weapons on offense as that does not help Grizzly when they cannot get open or get deep. The offensive line looks good when healthy and Spiller is looking better and better but they do not give him the ball enough. There are some quality wide receivers that are going to become free agents and the Bills had better sign one. Chandler is a fair tight end, Gronkowski he ain't though, but their is nothing but garbage behind him.
The Bills finished the season 6-10. The pundits had the over-under for wins this season at 5.5 so the Bills bettered that. They gave the fans hope early on and were actually quite fun to watch but, in typical Bills fashion, ripped their fans hearts out during the last nine games. If they have a great draft and sign a few key free agents they might, and I do say might with tongue firmly in cheek, make a battle for the last wildcard spot next year. Hey, If Cincinnati can make the playoffs this year after what they went through last off season anything can happen.
In conclusion your King says the following: Stevie Johnson must go. The Beard must go and never return. The current defensive coordinator must go. I am sorry but the two biggest boo-boo boys on the team, Demetrious Bell and Terrence McGee, should not be brought back. Fred Jackson given the extension that he deserves. Get Ralph to spend some cash since he cannot take it with him and make Buffalo a place where good players want to come and stay at. There is no reason why Buffalo cannot be 'Green Bay' east. If you put out a good product the fans will come but the product the last decade has been very stinky, even worse than Limburger cheese. Your King pleads with Ralph and Buddy Nix to do the needful and make the Bills a team to be reckoned with again. So let it be written, so let it be done.
Stevie Johnson thinks he is the perfect combination of Larry Fitzgerald and Terrell Owens wrapped into one. HAH!!! Johnson is a third rate receiver who would be the number three guy on any other team in the league. His contract is now up and I hope he takes his antics, immaturity and perfectly timed costly drops to another sap of a team. Even T.O., during his stint with the Bills, did not do the crap that this guy does. This guy wants top receiver money in his next contract and boy will he be in for a surprise when he hits the market, but then again I could be wrong as the Toronto Maples Leafs gave ten million dollars for two years to Sabre reject 'Tiny' Tim Connolly.
I have to admit that I was a bit in shock when the Bills went up 21-0 but I knew, even then, that it would not last so I did not get too excited. Buffalo actually continued to move the ball rather well the rest of the game but Ryan 'Grizzly Adams' Fitzpatrick returned to his Santa Claus self and gave lots of presents to a pitiful Patriot secondary. The Bills also continued to make that one silly mistake in each drive afterwards that just killed them. Either it was a gift interception or something even more stupid like a bad snap from center in the shotgun. Even when the Bills had the Pats backed into a corner on third and long they gave the Pats a few first downs via the dreaded yellow flag and you know what always happens after that....Patriot Touchdown!!
The Bills need a few more studs on defense as there does seem to be some hope for them in the future on that side of the ball. A new Defensive Coordinator would a nice start. So would a quality pass rushing stud or two to rattle the opponents QBs. They also need more weapons on offense as that does not help Grizzly when they cannot get open or get deep. The offensive line looks good when healthy and Spiller is looking better and better but they do not give him the ball enough. There are some quality wide receivers that are going to become free agents and the Bills had better sign one. Chandler is a fair tight end, Gronkowski he ain't though, but their is nothing but garbage behind him.
The Bills finished the season 6-10. The pundits had the over-under for wins this season at 5.5 so the Bills bettered that. They gave the fans hope early on and were actually quite fun to watch but, in typical Bills fashion, ripped their fans hearts out during the last nine games. If they have a great draft and sign a few key free agents they might, and I do say might with tongue firmly in cheek, make a battle for the last wildcard spot next year. Hey, If Cincinnati can make the playoffs this year after what they went through last off season anything can happen.
In conclusion your King says the following: Stevie Johnson must go. The Beard must go and never return. The current defensive coordinator must go. I am sorry but the two biggest boo-boo boys on the team, Demetrious Bell and Terrence McGee, should not be brought back. Fred Jackson given the extension that he deserves. Get Ralph to spend some cash since he cannot take it with him and make Buffalo a place where good players want to come and stay at. There is no reason why Buffalo cannot be 'Green Bay' east. If you put out a good product the fans will come but the product the last decade has been very stinky, even worse than Limburger cheese. Your King pleads with Ralph and Buddy Nix to do the needful and make the Bills a team to be reckoned with again. So let it be written, so let it be done.
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