Well, I just found out today that our cash strapped state has just floated a 25 million dollar loan to keep three dying horse racing tracks open. The race tracks are Saratoga, Aqueduct and Belmont. The New York Racing Association (NYRA) was planning on closing these tracks after the June 5th Belmont Stakes mainly because no one goes to the races anymore. These tracks just hemorrhage money and that is always a good reason to close a facility. But New York State, in all its infinite wisdom, has decided to 'loan' these tracks the afore mentioned money. Being that these tracks will probably never, ever, become profitable again who does New York State expect to pay back this loan? Santa? Nope, It is going to the taxpayers of New York State that will be stuck in the rear again thanks to another poor decision by the biggest group of fools this side of the Keystone Kops.
What really drives me nuts about this is that New York State's budget is now almost two months overdue with no end in site as to when anything will be passed. While our collective groups of representatives in Albany sit on their asses contractors doing important road construction projects have not been paid since April 1st. A lot of projects now sit idle because of this and many more will soon join them. Businesses that have been affected by these road closures for the 'construction' are dying as customers cannot reach them because of these halfway done messes. I do not blame the contractors for halting their work as if they have no money coming in how are they going to pay their employees or pay for construction materials? The days of 'I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today' are long gone. But New York State will dig deep to float dying horse racing tracks cash. Cash that is badly needed elsewhere.
Again, the New York State government needs to be reduced to rubble and rebuilt from scratch. The legislature needs to be reduced to a single legislative house from its current two house setup that 'resembles' the United States Congress. The lines for each representative district for the single house needs to be drawn up by a completely nonpartisan group to prevent the usual gerrymandering that often accompanies redistricting. Just look at Louise Slaughter's congressional district if you want to see an absolutely perfect moronic example of how not to draw a district.
The stupidity needs to stop and it needs to stop now. Loaning money that we all know will never be paid back in these dire times is probably one of the most moronic things that our state government has ever done. But then again, at least Seabiscuit will still have his place to run around while Apu's mini mart that is stuck on the other side of a closed road is dying a swift and painful death from the inability of the consumer to reach it. Governor Paterson and the state's band of idiots had better take a step back and recheck their priorities. They work for us, not for the Democrat or Republican parties that they are members of. They should be there working on the budget, not figuring out ways to loan money that will more than likely end up flogging a dead horse.
Moronica, using my Kingdom as an example, has seen its treasury reduced quite a bit recently but with proper cutbacks and keen eyed austerity measures it continues to survive, though with great difficulty. Your King has a clue in regards to making ends meet. New York State does not.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Just When You Thought They Should be Put to Sleep
Just when you thought the Geico Cavemen had run their course and should be put down they come back with a commercial that is reminiscent of the ads they starred in when they first made their appearance on the national scene years ago. The ads then were witty and down right humorous. Lately the Geico cavemen ads have been about as bad as the ill fated Cavemen TV series that the networks tried to stuff down our throats a couple of years ago. Which at this time whose episodes Mr. Mind, Dick Jauron ex coach of the Buffalo Bills, is being forced to watch while in captivity for coaching below and under the call of duty. It may be cruel and unusual punishment but the man most certainly deserves it.
The ad that brought the cavemen back to respectability is the one that stars the co-captains of the crab fishing vessel Time Bandit, Johnathan and Andy Hillstrand of 'Deadliest Catch' fame. It features them waiting for a newly hired crewman when a caveman shows up, asks for a steward to come fetch his luggage and then heads off for a cappuccino. The looks on the faces of the Hillstrands is priceless as they ponder their new crewman. This ad is far and above anything Geico has put out recently. I even think it is time that the gecko be put to sleep because he has become totally moronic. But if the cavemen can start coming back with more ads like that one maybe, just maybe, they can become relevant again. While waiting to see I will be having the roast duck with the mango salsa for dinner in their honor.
And yes, your King is definitely stretching for material at this time. Its a lame Sunday night with absolutely nothing on the boob tube. It is so bad I am forced to watch soccer on the Spanish network. When I hear the commentator raise his voice I turn and watch. It is 0-0 nearing halftime and the commentator has only raised his voice once so you know that this game must be 'really' exciting. I could write about yesterdays golf but I bore my loyal readers enough with that BS. Have a nice evening.
The ad that brought the cavemen back to respectability is the one that stars the co-captains of the crab fishing vessel Time Bandit, Johnathan and Andy Hillstrand of 'Deadliest Catch' fame. It features them waiting for a newly hired crewman when a caveman shows up, asks for a steward to come fetch his luggage and then heads off for a cappuccino. The looks on the faces of the Hillstrands is priceless as they ponder their new crewman. This ad is far and above anything Geico has put out recently. I even think it is time that the gecko be put to sleep because he has become totally moronic. But if the cavemen can start coming back with more ads like that one maybe, just maybe, they can become relevant again. While waiting to see I will be having the roast duck with the mango salsa for dinner in their honor.
And yes, your King is definitely stretching for material at this time. Its a lame Sunday night with absolutely nothing on the boob tube. It is so bad I am forced to watch soccer on the Spanish network. When I hear the commentator raise his voice I turn and watch. It is 0-0 nearing halftime and the commentator has only raised his voice once so you know that this game must be 'really' exciting. I could write about yesterdays golf but I bore my loyal readers enough with that BS. Have a nice evening.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Fourteenth Inductee into the Moronica Hall of Fame
Since July of 2006 all we heard from our newest inductee was boohoo, boohoo, I didn't do it. I am innocent! Well, today the truth was revealed. He did do it. Our newest inductee admits to the moronica of doping for his races. To try to deflect some of the damage he even tried to name a couple of dozen other athletes as dopers. He was even in charge of keeping an eye on the refrigerator with the transfusion blood stored in it. My god, this group must have been a bunch of vampires but the head moron...our new inductee is none other than the stripped 2006 "winner" of the Tour de France, Floyd Landis.
Floyd played us all for fools after he won the Tour. Crying about bad blood tests and other crappola after he was stripped of the title by the French Cycling Association, or whatever they call the bloody thing over there. He blamed everything from bad samples to bad testers to a conspiracy to cheat him out of his title. Well it finally came to light that he only cheated himself.
Cycling has been known for the longest period of time to have one of the highest percentage of cheaters in sports. The sport has been forever tainted by the idiots that have used performance enhancing drugs. Even Lance Armstrong will always have the aura of this stench around him. Floyd claims the blood for transfusions was in Lance's special refrigerator that he was in charge of checking on. Do I believe that Lance was also involved in doping back then? Is Eric Cartman fat? You can answer that.
But the issue right now involves our newest inductee. The man who cried innocence. The man who we were proud of for his big rally near the end of the race. He was also the man who had an overload of testosterone in his system at the time. We now know that he was rightly stripped of his title and he should be forever banned from cycling or at least banned forever from the Tour de France. He is quite the moron and a very deserving inductee. So if you see Floyd Landis please congratulate him on his enshrinement and the honor of which that has been bestowed upon him.
Floyd played us all for fools after he won the Tour. Crying about bad blood tests and other crappola after he was stripped of the title by the French Cycling Association, or whatever they call the bloody thing over there. He blamed everything from bad samples to bad testers to a conspiracy to cheat him out of his title. Well it finally came to light that he only cheated himself.
Cycling has been known for the longest period of time to have one of the highest percentage of cheaters in sports. The sport has been forever tainted by the idiots that have used performance enhancing drugs. Even Lance Armstrong will always have the aura of this stench around him. Floyd claims the blood for transfusions was in Lance's special refrigerator that he was in charge of checking on. Do I believe that Lance was also involved in doping back then? Is Eric Cartman fat? You can answer that.
But the issue right now involves our newest inductee. The man who cried innocence. The man who we were proud of for his big rally near the end of the race. He was also the man who had an overload of testosterone in his system at the time. We now know that he was rightly stripped of his title and he should be forever banned from cycling or at least banned forever from the Tour de France. He is quite the moron and a very deserving inductee. So if you see Floyd Landis please congratulate him on his enshrinement and the honor of which that has been bestowed upon him.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Tiny Tim Tiptoes Through the Tulips
Today, in Sunday's Buffalo News, Your King happened to read a letter to the paper that was so moronic I just have to say something about it. The letter was about Buffalo Sabres center 'Tiny' Tim Connolly. Obviously the letter writer from Hamburg, and for the sake of protecting the ignorant I will call Ed Wrong, must have been watching a different Tim Connolly than the one everyone one else was watching. In the first paragraph of his letter Mr. Wrong berated Jerry Sullivan, a writer for the Buffalo News, who wants to see Tim Connolly dismissed from the team for being too soft. I happen to totally agree with Mr. Sullivan and I wish to see Tiny Tim on the first boat to China.
Mr. Wrong also stated that Mr. Sullivan said the same thing about Miroslav Satan when he was with the Sabres and we all know that when the going got tough Miro disappeared. Mr. Wrong, in trying to refute this, also states that Satan scored two game winning goals against the Sabres in this years playoffs. What Mr. Wrong does not state that since the bulk of the Sabres squad is soft to begin with Satan does not have to play with grit to be able to score. Anyone who watched the series was left shaking his head at the opportunities the softy Sabres gave Satan. He was never threatened as he neared the net. If he tried doing that against a team like the Flyers he would have ended up on the disabled list. But that would not have happened as Miro Satan would not have gone anywhere near the net. If a game was on the line Miro Satan made like Houdini and disappeared. Just like Tiny Tim Connolly.
Mr. Wrong states that Tiny Tim is a finesse player and one of the greatest stick handlers in the game. First of all finesse equals soft and the second part of that statement is just plain laughable. As I have said before Tiny Tim is one of the greatest Sabre penalty killers but the problem is that he only plays on the Sabres' power play. I remember one power play against the Capitals where he tried to stick handle into the Cap's zone three different times and was thwarted three different times. On the fourth attempt by Tiny Tim to stick handle into the Cap's zone he was stripped of the puck and that resulted in a Washington breakaway in which the player scored a shorthanded goal. Tiny Tim should have been awarded an assist on the play.
He mentions that he should be a very capable second or third line center. Hmm, for what the Sabres are paying this slug he should be a first line center. The crime is that Tiny Tim is making 4.5 million dollars a year and somehow he has not yet been arrested for Grand Larceny. ( Note: It would have only cost another 500 thousand dollars per year to keep Chris Drury) Anybody making that kind of money in the NHL should be able to play with some heart. Unfortunately Tiny Tim needs a heart transplant and not even the reformed Mr. Scrooge would pay for that.
The most moronic part of the letter states, and I quote: "Finally, how can a guy who has suffered multiple concussions and other injuries be considered "soft"?" Anyone who knows Tiny Tim's history knows the total moronica of this statement. He did not get his concussions from being tough. He got them from being stupid. Anyone who lowers his head while skating through the middle of the ice and then makes a cut is just asking to have his head removed. And that is what happened. I believe, and I may be wrong on about the name of the opposing player, Chris Neal, of the Ottawa Senators, eyes must have lit up like a Christmas Tree when Tiny Tim turned into is line of travel with his head down. The resulting hit left Tiny Tim's brains scrambled for almost a year. As I have said that is not being tough, its being stupid.
There were other letters to the editor in the paper today which pretty much agree with my feelings about the Sabre's overpaid softy. If the Sabres can unload Tiny Tim's contract on some moronic team it would free up cash to spend on a quality free agent with some grit. But knowing the Sabres they will keep Tiny Tim and the rest of the softies to break our hearts again next year. One of the few players with grit is Mike Grier and he is a free agent and will probably be allowed to walk. That figures. The teams that win are the teams that play with heart when it counts. Unfortunately Tiny Tim and the rest of the Sabres' Tin Men will always stand and watch other teams hoist the cup. Teams that play with heart. Maybe its time we hire the Wizard of Oz as the Sabres' next GM. He most certainly would be better than Darcy Regier.
All I can say to Mr. Wrong is to wake up and smell the coffee, visit the optometrist and re-watch all of the Sabre's games from this past season. In retrospect Tiny Tim may score a lot of points but they are mostly empty points and that is the difference.
Your King has spoken.
Mr. Wrong also stated that Mr. Sullivan said the same thing about Miroslav Satan when he was with the Sabres and we all know that when the going got tough Miro disappeared. Mr. Wrong, in trying to refute this, also states that Satan scored two game winning goals against the Sabres in this years playoffs. What Mr. Wrong does not state that since the bulk of the Sabres squad is soft to begin with Satan does not have to play with grit to be able to score. Anyone who watched the series was left shaking his head at the opportunities the softy Sabres gave Satan. He was never threatened as he neared the net. If he tried doing that against a team like the Flyers he would have ended up on the disabled list. But that would not have happened as Miro Satan would not have gone anywhere near the net. If a game was on the line Miro Satan made like Houdini and disappeared. Just like Tiny Tim Connolly.
Mr. Wrong states that Tiny Tim is a finesse player and one of the greatest stick handlers in the game. First of all finesse equals soft and the second part of that statement is just plain laughable. As I have said before Tiny Tim is one of the greatest Sabre penalty killers but the problem is that he only plays on the Sabres' power play. I remember one power play against the Capitals where he tried to stick handle into the Cap's zone three different times and was thwarted three different times. On the fourth attempt by Tiny Tim to stick handle into the Cap's zone he was stripped of the puck and that resulted in a Washington breakaway in which the player scored a shorthanded goal. Tiny Tim should have been awarded an assist on the play.
He mentions that he should be a very capable second or third line center. Hmm, for what the Sabres are paying this slug he should be a first line center. The crime is that Tiny Tim is making 4.5 million dollars a year and somehow he has not yet been arrested for Grand Larceny. ( Note: It would have only cost another 500 thousand dollars per year to keep Chris Drury) Anybody making that kind of money in the NHL should be able to play with some heart. Unfortunately Tiny Tim needs a heart transplant and not even the reformed Mr. Scrooge would pay for that.
The most moronic part of the letter states, and I quote: "Finally, how can a guy who has suffered multiple concussions and other injuries be considered "soft"?" Anyone who knows Tiny Tim's history knows the total moronica of this statement. He did not get his concussions from being tough. He got them from being stupid. Anyone who lowers his head while skating through the middle of the ice and then makes a cut is just asking to have his head removed. And that is what happened. I believe, and I may be wrong on about the name of the opposing player, Chris Neal, of the Ottawa Senators, eyes must have lit up like a Christmas Tree when Tiny Tim turned into is line of travel with his head down. The resulting hit left Tiny Tim's brains scrambled for almost a year. As I have said that is not being tough, its being stupid.
There were other letters to the editor in the paper today which pretty much agree with my feelings about the Sabre's overpaid softy. If the Sabres can unload Tiny Tim's contract on some moronic team it would free up cash to spend on a quality free agent with some grit. But knowing the Sabres they will keep Tiny Tim and the rest of the softies to break our hearts again next year. One of the few players with grit is Mike Grier and he is a free agent and will probably be allowed to walk. That figures. The teams that win are the teams that play with heart when it counts. Unfortunately Tiny Tim and the rest of the Sabres' Tin Men will always stand and watch other teams hoist the cup. Teams that play with heart. Maybe its time we hire the Wizard of Oz as the Sabres' next GM. He most certainly would be better than Darcy Regier.
All I can say to Mr. Wrong is to wake up and smell the coffee, visit the optometrist and re-watch all of the Sabre's games from this past season. In retrospect Tiny Tim may score a lot of points but they are mostly empty points and that is the difference.
Your King has spoken.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Its Deja Vu All Over Again
Last night Don Cherry's...I mean Claude Julien's Boston Bruins lost to the Montreal Canadiens... I mean the Philadelphia Flyers compliments of a 'too many men on the ice' penalty assessed to them late in the third period. Simon Gagne potted the winner during the gift power play with about seven minutes left in the game to cap one of the most remarkable comebacks, meltdowns if you are a Bruins fan, in any sports league history. In my eyes this even tops the Red Sox comeback against the Yanks a few years ago. Philly was down three games to zero against Boston as the tide turned when they won in overtime in game four. Winning the next two game set up a fantastic game seven in Boston last night.
The fans were soon going nuts after the home team took a 3-0 lead fourteen minutes into the game. In Philly's eyes 3-0 was nothing to worry about looking over the results of the last three games. They scored a fluke goal late in the first period that set the stage for their comeback in this game. Yogi Berra couldn't have written a better scrip for Boston's loss this time. Don Cherry lost his job over his bit of moronica back in 1979, so will this cost Claude Julien his job? Who knows. I just sat on my couch chuckling over this latest bit of moronica that I was witnessing. I hate to say that I was rooting for Philly in this game even though I cannot stand either team but since Boston knocked out my Sabres I wanted to see them launched from the playoffs. Now, in the next series, I am rooting for Montreal, who I can't thank enough for getting rid of the Pittsburgh Penguins, to make it to the finals as Philly has done what I wanted so it is now time for them to go.
The end of the game brought more smiles to my face as I watched the camera pan over some of the most sour pusses in the stands that you would ever want to see. I enjoyed every minute of their disappointment as being a Sabre fan I have known it all too frequently. Just seeing them sitting in stark disbelief as to what just unfolded in front of them will put a grin on my face when I think about it later on. Even more so than when I think about poor 'boo hoo' Sydney Crosby from the Penguins and his early golf season.
I still shake my head and laugh when I think about that penalty call. You just knew that Philly would capitalize on it and make my day. As I said it was Deja Vu all over again! Thanks again Philly but don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out after Montreal sends you packing.
Good day from Moronica!
The fans were soon going nuts after the home team took a 3-0 lead fourteen minutes into the game. In Philly's eyes 3-0 was nothing to worry about looking over the results of the last three games. They scored a fluke goal late in the first period that set the stage for their comeback in this game. Yogi Berra couldn't have written a better scrip for Boston's loss this time. Don Cherry lost his job over his bit of moronica back in 1979, so will this cost Claude Julien his job? Who knows. I just sat on my couch chuckling over this latest bit of moronica that I was witnessing. I hate to say that I was rooting for Philly in this game even though I cannot stand either team but since Boston knocked out my Sabres I wanted to see them launched from the playoffs. Now, in the next series, I am rooting for Montreal, who I can't thank enough for getting rid of the Pittsburgh Penguins, to make it to the finals as Philly has done what I wanted so it is now time for them to go.
The end of the game brought more smiles to my face as I watched the camera pan over some of the most sour pusses in the stands that you would ever want to see. I enjoyed every minute of their disappointment as being a Sabre fan I have known it all too frequently. Just seeing them sitting in stark disbelief as to what just unfolded in front of them will put a grin on my face when I think about it later on. Even more so than when I think about poor 'boo hoo' Sydney Crosby from the Penguins and his early golf season.
I still shake my head and laugh when I think about that penalty call. You just knew that Philly would capitalize on it and make my day. As I said it was Deja Vu all over again! Thanks again Philly but don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out after Montreal sends you packing.
Good day from Moronica!
Friday, May 14, 2010
Obama visits Western New York, Snubs Moronica
President Obama visited the city of Buffalo yesterday to do what presidents do when they visit, talk. As ruler of the Kingdom of Moronica I figured that since President Obama was finally going to be in the area he would stop by and pay a visit to your King. Well, I waited and waited yesterday and he never showed up. I even had the royal rug cleaned for the potential occasion. Instead, he spent his free time eating wings at Duff's in Buffalo in lieu of having a friendly chat with me. But then again I can see his point as he was probably weighing the difficult decision in his mind..Wings...King Dinglefritz...wings.....King Dinglefritz. I guess it was an easy choice for him once he got out from under the shadow of his wife's healthy menu regimen at the White House. I must say that I probably would have chosen wings over me too but I do have some pride.
I would have enjoyed a meeting with him. Hell, I would have ordered wings for delivery to my castle if I knew he was that into them. Good negotiations begin with a happy stomach I always believe. But no, it was not to be. He later flew down to New York City and then back home completely bypassing Moronica, your King snubbed. Oh well, maybe later. Hey, he can always invite me down to D.C as long as I can choose the menu for the state dinner. Michelle's healthy menu be damned!!
I would have enjoyed a meeting with him. Hell, I would have ordered wings for delivery to my castle if I knew he was that into them. Good negotiations begin with a happy stomach I always believe. But no, it was not to be. He later flew down to New York City and then back home completely bypassing Moronica, your King snubbed. Oh well, maybe later. Hey, he can always invite me down to D.C as long as I can choose the menu for the state dinner. Michelle's healthy menu be damned!!
Sunday, May 9, 2010
OUCH! That Had to Hurt!
It was a scene straight out of 'Slapshot' tonight during the Chicago vs. Vancouver hockey game. The only thing I could think of at the time it happened was when Coach Reggie Dunlop, played by Paul Newman, was yelling at his GM, who at the time was prepping a publicity advertisement, telling him to "show a groin injury". Well you have to feel for poor Sammy Salo of the Vancouver Canucks because Reggie Dunlop would have gotten his wish. With just micro-seconds before the end of the first period poor Sammy's nuts were the target of a Chicago player's slapshot. The shot must have shattered his cup as he went down like he was shot. I could feel the poor guy's pain as he was writhing on the ice. OMG, it even hurt when they showed the replay in slow motion. The announcers did not even have the 'balls' to tell us where he was hit by just saying 'he was hit in the midsection'. Anyone with two eyes could tell exactly where the puck hit after watching the slo-mo replay.
Playing goal in collegiate soccer I have been nailed there before making saves but the cup has always saved me. Now a soccer ball is not a hockey puck as a soccer ball's force is spread over a larger area than a puck AND the puck is moving at a much greater velocity.
Now poor Sammy, after spending a considerable amount of time lying in pain on the ice, could not even straighten himself out when he was finally helped off the ice. He was later taken to a local hospital still bent over while sitting in a wheelchair. I just cannot imagine the pain this poor guy was in. It brought back memories of poor baseball catcher Carlton Fisk when one day his cup shifted as a ball was fouled back off the ground and into his petunias. He ended up having one of his petunias removed. Now that had to hurt!
I wish Sammy Salo a quick recovery and I hope that everything still works properly for him.
Playing goal in collegiate soccer I have been nailed there before making saves but the cup has always saved me. Now a soccer ball is not a hockey puck as a soccer ball's force is spread over a larger area than a puck AND the puck is moving at a much greater velocity.
Now poor Sammy, after spending a considerable amount of time lying in pain on the ice, could not even straighten himself out when he was finally helped off the ice. He was later taken to a local hospital still bent over while sitting in a wheelchair. I just cannot imagine the pain this poor guy was in. It brought back memories of poor baseball catcher Carlton Fisk when one day his cup shifted as a ball was fouled back off the ground and into his petunias. He ended up having one of his petunias removed. Now that had to hurt!
I wish Sammy Salo a quick recovery and I hope that everything still works properly for him.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Tidbits from Moronica
1) Boy has the weather here in Moronica taken a nasty turn today. The Royal Courtyard is a complete mess thanks to the high winds. Bits and pieces from my trees are all over the place. I am so looking forward to cleaning this mess up...NOT! The temperature has fallen like a rock since 3:00 p.m. and there is a threat of flurries later. UGH! At least we had a decent lightning show last night to enjoy. The week ahead looks like it may be cool and crappy. So much for the great spring we have had so far.
2) Well, my Royal Back is now out of whack. I felt the sucker go last Tuesday evening when I was doing some work around the house. I have not enjoyed the last few days and it looks like I will not be able to defend my win last week on the golf course tomorrow, but then again maybe it is a blessing in disguise..I won't have to play in the cold and the wind...but then again I would rather play as my game finally seems to be coming back. I had six pars and no 'X' holes and that is a big step in the right direction. Hopefully next week, if my aching back cooperates, I can get out and play nine quick holes before next weekend.
3) My Royal Chef had the day off, well I really do not have a chef as it is just me in the kitchen. Today, for the first time in a long time I made some lasagna. My last batch was not a good one as the sauce I used, a high quality store bought sauce, sucked so I decided to make my own by tweaking my spaghetti sauce recipe a bit. The lasagna came out much better than before. Even Prince Spoiled Brat cleaned his plate off. But the sauce needs another tweak and I cannot put my finger on what to tweak and that is not like me. I can usually figure out what to do to make it even better, like I did with my chowder recipe, but this fix escapes me for now. But still it was good.
4) Last Saturday I went, incognito of course, to the Rochester Rhinos home opener against the Carolina Railhawks. The Rhinos appreciated my visit and put me right in the front row behind the team bench and they honored my royal request not to be announced as attending. The Rhinos played well and should have won but, again, the refereeing in this league is spotty at best. It frustrates me to see a referee make such a brutal call on a slide tackle that gets all ball but the moron still awarded a penalty kick. The Rhinos were up 1-0 at the time and they could have played until midnight and Carolina would never have scored but thanks to the moron ref they get a gift, cashed it in and people wonder why they cannot draw more fans to a nice new soccer stadium. It is the refereeing! This team gets screwed by the referees in this league every chance they get. It gets to be so frustrating to watch knowing at some point during the game the ref will make a call that is so brutal as to put people off. It sure put me off. Also, listening to the coach talk to his players on the bench when the Rhinos were having a rough stretch made me think I was back on the golf course. I always thought the golf course was where I heard that type of language.
5) Well, the weekend has come to where it has become official. The Queen has officially left me for the Burger King. Truth is that it really does not bother me all that much as she is the Burger King's problem now. We were too much like oil and vinegar but she could have been more truthful about the situation instead of telling me at the beginning there was NOT another guy when in fact that was not the case. Certain things that I have done since then I would not have done if I had known the truth. But hey, I am still young and handsome, well then again, maybe not so young and it has been pointed out from previous comments on this blog, not so handsome. As soon as school is over Prince Spoiled Brat becomes, well then again since she is still with royalty, Prince Spoiled Brat and will move into Burger Heaven with his mother. But the thing that really gets me is that she has the Royal Mutt. I miss the mutt but it is better for the mutt to be there as there will be more people in that house for her. Her breed is a people breed and with only me in the castle it would have been hard on her. But I really do miss her... a lot more than I will miss my ex-queen. 'Nuf said.
6) Lastly I would like to offer an honorary Moronican citizenship to Mr. Bill, and I hope he accepts it. We may differ in certain points of view, and I look forward to our future debates, but I do know a nice guy when I see him and Mr. Bill seems like a good egg worthy of this honor. I hope he accepts my offer.
Well, that's the way it is Saturday May 8, 2010, This is King Dinglefritz of Moronica wishing you all a pleasant evening.
2) Well, my Royal Back is now out of whack. I felt the sucker go last Tuesday evening when I was doing some work around the house. I have not enjoyed the last few days and it looks like I will not be able to defend my win last week on the golf course tomorrow, but then again maybe it is a blessing in disguise..I won't have to play in the cold and the wind...but then again I would rather play as my game finally seems to be coming back. I had six pars and no 'X' holes and that is a big step in the right direction. Hopefully next week, if my aching back cooperates, I can get out and play nine quick holes before next weekend.
3) My Royal Chef had the day off, well I really do not have a chef as it is just me in the kitchen. Today, for the first time in a long time I made some lasagna. My last batch was not a good one as the sauce I used, a high quality store bought sauce, sucked so I decided to make my own by tweaking my spaghetti sauce recipe a bit. The lasagna came out much better than before. Even Prince Spoiled Brat cleaned his plate off. But the sauce needs another tweak and I cannot put my finger on what to tweak and that is not like me. I can usually figure out what to do to make it even better, like I did with my chowder recipe, but this fix escapes me for now. But still it was good.
4) Last Saturday I went, incognito of course, to the Rochester Rhinos home opener against the Carolina Railhawks. The Rhinos appreciated my visit and put me right in the front row behind the team bench and they honored my royal request not to be announced as attending. The Rhinos played well and should have won but, again, the refereeing in this league is spotty at best. It frustrates me to see a referee make such a brutal call on a slide tackle that gets all ball but the moron still awarded a penalty kick. The Rhinos were up 1-0 at the time and they could have played until midnight and Carolina would never have scored but thanks to the moron ref they get a gift, cashed it in and people wonder why they cannot draw more fans to a nice new soccer stadium. It is the refereeing! This team gets screwed by the referees in this league every chance they get. It gets to be so frustrating to watch knowing at some point during the game the ref will make a call that is so brutal as to put people off. It sure put me off. Also, listening to the coach talk to his players on the bench when the Rhinos were having a rough stretch made me think I was back on the golf course. I always thought the golf course was where I heard that type of language.
5) Well, the weekend has come to where it has become official. The Queen has officially left me for the Burger King. Truth is that it really does not bother me all that much as she is the Burger King's problem now. We were too much like oil and vinegar but she could have been more truthful about the situation instead of telling me at the beginning there was NOT another guy when in fact that was not the case. Certain things that I have done since then I would not have done if I had known the truth. But hey, I am still young and handsome, well then again, maybe not so young and it has been pointed out from previous comments on this blog, not so handsome. As soon as school is over Prince Spoiled Brat becomes, well then again since she is still with royalty, Prince Spoiled Brat and will move into Burger Heaven with his mother. But the thing that really gets me is that she has the Royal Mutt. I miss the mutt but it is better for the mutt to be there as there will be more people in that house for her. Her breed is a people breed and with only me in the castle it would have been hard on her. But I really do miss her... a lot more than I will miss my ex-queen. 'Nuf said.
6) Lastly I would like to offer an honorary Moronican citizenship to Mr. Bill, and I hope he accepts it. We may differ in certain points of view, and I look forward to our future debates, but I do know a nice guy when I see him and Mr. Bill seems like a good egg worthy of this honor. I hope he accepts my offer.
Well, that's the way it is Saturday May 8, 2010, This is King Dinglefritz of Moronica wishing you all a pleasant evening.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
The Moronic Circus has left Albany...Temporarily
Just when you think things cannot get any worse in Albany things happen that just leave you shaking your head. First and foremost we are now one month without a working budget for this silly state yet our beloved legislature decided to leave town. Whatever happened to staying on the job until the job is done. Not the morons in Albany. I guess trying to solve a 9.2 billion dollar deficit is not that important. Silly me. But this is only the tip of the iceberg.
Our favorite turncoat in the state senate, Democrat Pedro Espada, has now been hit with a second lawsuit from Attorney General Andrew Cuomo. This guy is a peach as it looks like, per the first lawsuit, he has been bilking lots of money from his own health clinic. The second lawsuit alleges that Pedro created a sham job training program at his company. Also, he has also pretty much hired his family into positions in his office..Again charity begins at home. Lets hope that the citizens of Bronx vote this slug out at the next election and his next job is at South of the Border in South Carolina.
Speaking of slugs lets hear it for Senator Kevin Parker, a Democrat from Brooklyn. He was heard on a radio show Wednesday morning calling his Senate Republicans colleagues "long term white supremacists". It all originated when, during a Senate finance committee meeting, they were interviewing a black candidate and, for some reason, Mr. Parker went batty. This guy is also facing assault charges involving a New York Post photographer. Sounds like Kevin needs anger management counseling.
More dysfunction was on display in Albany this past week as a report from the state's inspector general said that Lee Kyriacou, the former executive director of the state Office of Real Property Services was accused of using his staff to handle family errands. I wonder if he had them mow his yard too.
Truer words were never spoken when Senator Stephen Saland, a Republican from Poughkeepsie, said of the state Capitol "This is truly a bizarre place to be." Bizarre indeed. You would think with the extra eyes that have been placed on our beloved state government lately crap like this would not happen yet it continues to spew from Albany.
Other things that drive me nuts is the continuing ways this state is trying siphon more money out of our pockets. Boy, I just cannot wait for that soda tax to be enacted. I guess I will have to quit my "Coke" habit. Another tidbit from our idiot governor is the fact that he wants Supermarkets to be able to sell wine. The fees from this would put hundreds of millions of dollars into the states coffers while putting hundreds of liquor stores out of business. Paterson says that to counter that he would let liquor stores start selling snacks. Who in hell would go to a liquor store to buy snacks??? Some trade off.
Why can't these morons find a way to cut spending instead of robbing us?? Oh that's right, those sweetheart contracts with the state employee union and the teacher's union that are giving those people big raises in our time of financial trouble. Raises that the Unions say are untouchable. These Unions are real team players and what should happen is that some of their 'teammates' will end up walking the street because of this hard line stance. I think it is time for Buttercup to suck it up for a year and forgo their raises. These people all make a great buck and have fantastic benefits which, of course, are paid for from the pockets of all New York State residents in the form of high taxes. At least Governor Paterson is trying his best by holding back as much of these raises as he can but boy has the crying and lawsuit filing started. YEEEHAH!!!
Once again I am advocating that we vote ALL of these idiots out of office and start fresh. What we need, when it comes to redistricting after the census, is that the district lines should be drawn properly as too many Albany politicians get far too comfortable. The districts are drawn up so that republicans and democrats always seem to be able to get re-elected without working for it. Nothing like a bit of gerrymandering among friends now, eh?
What more can I say? Our state government is an embarrassment to us all. The world laughs at us. Even Greece is in better financial shape than we are. Maybe Eliot Spitzer did his prostitute bit deliberately hoping that he would get caught, and be forced to resign, because he could see this coming down the tunnel like an out of control freight train. Nah, as what could be worse than a pissed off wife???
Well, enough is enough for tonight. Even the King of Moronica gets tired of the constant flow of moronica that spews from Albany. I can only take so much. Its about time we all told Albany that in the form of voting the bums out this November.
And remember, though I may not always drink beer, but when I do, I drink Dos Equis. Stay thirsty my friends!!
Our favorite turncoat in the state senate, Democrat Pedro Espada, has now been hit with a second lawsuit from Attorney General Andrew Cuomo. This guy is a peach as it looks like, per the first lawsuit, he has been bilking lots of money from his own health clinic. The second lawsuit alleges that Pedro created a sham job training program at his company. Also, he has also pretty much hired his family into positions in his office..Again charity begins at home. Lets hope that the citizens of Bronx vote this slug out at the next election and his next job is at South of the Border in South Carolina.
Speaking of slugs lets hear it for Senator Kevin Parker, a Democrat from Brooklyn. He was heard on a radio show Wednesday morning calling his Senate Republicans colleagues "long term white supremacists". It all originated when, during a Senate finance committee meeting, they were interviewing a black candidate and, for some reason, Mr. Parker went batty. This guy is also facing assault charges involving a New York Post photographer. Sounds like Kevin needs anger management counseling.
More dysfunction was on display in Albany this past week as a report from the state's inspector general said that Lee Kyriacou, the former executive director of the state Office of Real Property Services was accused of using his staff to handle family errands. I wonder if he had them mow his yard too.
Truer words were never spoken when Senator Stephen Saland, a Republican from Poughkeepsie, said of the state Capitol "This is truly a bizarre place to be." Bizarre indeed. You would think with the extra eyes that have been placed on our beloved state government lately crap like this would not happen yet it continues to spew from Albany.
Other things that drive me nuts is the continuing ways this state is trying siphon more money out of our pockets. Boy, I just cannot wait for that soda tax to be enacted. I guess I will have to quit my "Coke" habit. Another tidbit from our idiot governor is the fact that he wants Supermarkets to be able to sell wine. The fees from this would put hundreds of millions of dollars into the states coffers while putting hundreds of liquor stores out of business. Paterson says that to counter that he would let liquor stores start selling snacks. Who in hell would go to a liquor store to buy snacks??? Some trade off.
Why can't these morons find a way to cut spending instead of robbing us?? Oh that's right, those sweetheart contracts with the state employee union and the teacher's union that are giving those people big raises in our time of financial trouble. Raises that the Unions say are untouchable. These Unions are real team players and what should happen is that some of their 'teammates' will end up walking the street because of this hard line stance. I think it is time for Buttercup to suck it up for a year and forgo their raises. These people all make a great buck and have fantastic benefits which, of course, are paid for from the pockets of all New York State residents in the form of high taxes. At least Governor Paterson is trying his best by holding back as much of these raises as he can but boy has the crying and lawsuit filing started. YEEEHAH!!!
Once again I am advocating that we vote ALL of these idiots out of office and start fresh. What we need, when it comes to redistricting after the census, is that the district lines should be drawn properly as too many Albany politicians get far too comfortable. The districts are drawn up so that republicans and democrats always seem to be able to get re-elected without working for it. Nothing like a bit of gerrymandering among friends now, eh?
What more can I say? Our state government is an embarrassment to us all. The world laughs at us. Even Greece is in better financial shape than we are. Maybe Eliot Spitzer did his prostitute bit deliberately hoping that he would get caught, and be forced to resign, because he could see this coming down the tunnel like an out of control freight train. Nah, as what could be worse than a pissed off wife???
Well, enough is enough for tonight. Even the King of Moronica gets tired of the constant flow of moronica that spews from Albany. I can only take so much. Its about time we all told Albany that in the form of voting the bums out this November.
And remember, though I may not always drink beer, but when I do, I drink Dos Equis. Stay thirsty my friends!!
Saturday, May 1, 2010
King Wins!! King Wins!!
Well it finally happened. Today in golf, at Livingston Country Club, your King finally started showing flashes of his former self before his exile from the game due to a foolish marriage. Using the modified D'Aprile scoring system I ended up at plus four today and finished first collecting fifty clams. The fifty was immediately reduced as I happily bought a round for all involved at the nineteenth hole. The funny thing is that I still left plenty of points out on the course A lipped putt here, a ball sailing out of bounds there cost me some points but I still had enough good holes to post my first positive round of the year. I ended up shooting a 94 but my score really did not indicate how well I was striking the ball for the most part. For the ball that went out of bounds I still crushed it but I was playing a fade off the tee...it didn't fade but my score for that hole did.
The modified D'Aprile scoring system gives one point for a bogey, two for a par, four for a birdie, six for an eagle and there are no minus points. My rounds lately have taken full advantage of the no minus points as I have had some memorably bad holes this year.
My round was strange today. I parred the three toughest holes on the course, seven, ten and seventeen but the easier holes still confound me. If I can solve that I may become unbeatable, well at least until my point number gets too high for me to reach. Today my par score, per the modified D'Aprile system, was twelve and I reached sixteen giving me a plus four. My par score has now been moved up to fourteen as you par score goes up one point for every three points you go above your score, and minus one for every three points you are below your score. I also get an extra point tacked on because I won. What is funny is that I reached my point total of twelve after the tenth hole and then I died. For five holes I seemed to return to golfing like an idiot. I took good scoring opportunities and turned them into crappola as only I can do. Then my fortune changed on the par five sixteenth hole. I hit a perfect drive three hundred yards down the middle of the fairway and then I took out my trusty seven wood, which never slices, in an attempt to reach the green in two. Well my seven wood decided it wanted to slice this time and the ball was sailing towards the cornfield and out of bounds. Then the hand of God reached out in the form of a tree and swatted my ball back into the rough. I guess at that point the golf gods finally felt pity on this poor fool and gave me a break. I still ended up bogeying the hole but it ended a stretch of five holes, four of which are actually easy to score points on, without a point. It just finally feels good to take a week off from playing golf like a moron. At least I got to play on Saturday this weekend unlike Tiger. LOL!!! This is your King wishing all of his readers, and I do mean all, a fantastic weekend!!
The modified D'Aprile scoring system gives one point for a bogey, two for a par, four for a birdie, six for an eagle and there are no minus points. My rounds lately have taken full advantage of the no minus points as I have had some memorably bad holes this year.
My round was strange today. I parred the three toughest holes on the course, seven, ten and seventeen but the easier holes still confound me. If I can solve that I may become unbeatable, well at least until my point number gets too high for me to reach. Today my par score, per the modified D'Aprile system, was twelve and I reached sixteen giving me a plus four. My par score has now been moved up to fourteen as you par score goes up one point for every three points you go above your score, and minus one for every three points you are below your score. I also get an extra point tacked on because I won. What is funny is that I reached my point total of twelve after the tenth hole and then I died. For five holes I seemed to return to golfing like an idiot. I took good scoring opportunities and turned them into crappola as only I can do. Then my fortune changed on the par five sixteenth hole. I hit a perfect drive three hundred yards down the middle of the fairway and then I took out my trusty seven wood, which never slices, in an attempt to reach the green in two. Well my seven wood decided it wanted to slice this time and the ball was sailing towards the cornfield and out of bounds. Then the hand of God reached out in the form of a tree and swatted my ball back into the rough. I guess at that point the golf gods finally felt pity on this poor fool and gave me a break. I still ended up bogeying the hole but it ended a stretch of five holes, four of which are actually easy to score points on, without a point. It just finally feels good to take a week off from playing golf like a moron. At least I got to play on Saturday this weekend unlike Tiger. LOL!!! This is your King wishing all of his readers, and I do mean all, a fantastic weekend!!
Moronica in the Gulf
Well, the worst case scenario has happened in the Gulf of Mexico. A BP oil well blew up and now thousands upon thousands of barrels of continually leaking oil is in the process of turning the Gulf of Mexico into the floor of a badly kept Auto repair shop. The cause of this disaster is still unknown and is threatening to make the Exxon Valdez disaster in Alaska look like a minor oil leak. Men have died, shrimp fishing grounds are ruined and pristine beaches and not going to be so pristine anymore. What a shame.
Back in the 2008 election, and I know I am going to hear about this, the Republican mantra for solving our oil problems was to drill, baby, drill. Both John McCain and Sarah Palin espoused this mantra in their campaign. They wanted to open up unspoiled areas in Alaska, Florida and anywhere else where there may be a barrel or two of oil to be found for drilling. We can now see where this policy would have led us if enacted without protective regulations. Even President Obama has now loosened the noose to allow drilling in certain areas that have been off limits.
While we do need new sources of oil we have to do it smartly. Certain groups of people do not want to do things the way countries in Europe do. Why is that? Here is a perfect case in point of why we should look at Europe for ideas to better our nation. Norway, for example, does not allowing offshore drilling UNLESS the rig is equipped with a shutoff valve at the base of the pipeline before it enters the ground. We in the United States do not. Why is that? Why are we not smart enough to take these steps to prevent a disaster like the one that is now occurring in the Gulf. A shut off valve would have been triggered and the oil leak would have been stopped, but NOOOOO!!! Heaven forbid that the oil companies spend some of their billions in profits to protect us against situations like this but that would mean government interference of the oil company's right to pollute our lands and seas. We can't have that now can we. Heaven forbid we have a regulation that requires all offshore rigs to have a shutoff valve in case of a disaster. Since they do it in Europe we cannot do it here because we cannot adopt anything European as that would mean we might start leaning towards becoming a more socialist type nation. And again we cannot have that.
Again certain groups have been clamoring to open up areas for drilling that are now off limits. We cannot have this until steps are taken to protect the environment from accidents like this. Areas of the Gulf will now be polluted for years and the total extent of the damage has yet to be calculated as the leak is nowhere near under control at this time. Shutoff valves must be required on all new rigs and older rigs need to be retrofitted with them immediately. So it reduces an oil companies profit from 15 billion dollars down to 14 billion dollars for a year. So what? We deserve to have our environment protected so that we can enjoy it and so can the animal life of the area without fear of something like this ruining it for all. Is it too much of a price to pay for this protection? I do not believe so and the government should take immediate steps to prevent this from happening again. The right of an oil company to ruin our environment is a right I would gladly like to see taken away.
So sayeth your King.
Back in the 2008 election, and I know I am going to hear about this, the Republican mantra for solving our oil problems was to drill, baby, drill. Both John McCain and Sarah Palin espoused this mantra in their campaign. They wanted to open up unspoiled areas in Alaska, Florida and anywhere else where there may be a barrel or two of oil to be found for drilling. We can now see where this policy would have led us if enacted without protective regulations. Even President Obama has now loosened the noose to allow drilling in certain areas that have been off limits.
While we do need new sources of oil we have to do it smartly. Certain groups of people do not want to do things the way countries in Europe do. Why is that? Here is a perfect case in point of why we should look at Europe for ideas to better our nation. Norway, for example, does not allowing offshore drilling UNLESS the rig is equipped with a shutoff valve at the base of the pipeline before it enters the ground. We in the United States do not. Why is that? Why are we not smart enough to take these steps to prevent a disaster like the one that is now occurring in the Gulf. A shut off valve would have been triggered and the oil leak would have been stopped, but NOOOOO!!! Heaven forbid that the oil companies spend some of their billions in profits to protect us against situations like this but that would mean government interference of the oil company's right to pollute our lands and seas. We can't have that now can we. Heaven forbid we have a regulation that requires all offshore rigs to have a shutoff valve in case of a disaster. Since they do it in Europe we cannot do it here because we cannot adopt anything European as that would mean we might start leaning towards becoming a more socialist type nation. And again we cannot have that.
Again certain groups have been clamoring to open up areas for drilling that are now off limits. We cannot have this until steps are taken to protect the environment from accidents like this. Areas of the Gulf will now be polluted for years and the total extent of the damage has yet to be calculated as the leak is nowhere near under control at this time. Shutoff valves must be required on all new rigs and older rigs need to be retrofitted with them immediately. So it reduces an oil companies profit from 15 billion dollars down to 14 billion dollars for a year. So what? We deserve to have our environment protected so that we can enjoy it and so can the animal life of the area without fear of something like this ruining it for all. Is it too much of a price to pay for this protection? I do not believe so and the government should take immediate steps to prevent this from happening again. The right of an oil company to ruin our environment is a right I would gladly like to see taken away.
So sayeth your King.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Your King Visits Long Island Dignitaries
Last week I had the chance to fly down to Long Island, by invitation, and spend some time with executive dignitaries down there. It is not too often your King gets a chance to take a royal trip away from Moronica but when the opportunity comes I cannot pass it up, especially since my trip to Myrtle Beach to visit the Hungarian Ambassador to South Carolina was postponed this year. It was my first real trip down to the Island and I was quite lucky to make it back alive, but more on that later. The dignitaries treated your King like a King. I had a chance to go to Peter Luger's Steak House in Great Neck and it was just like what I had seen on the Travel Channel's 'Steak Paradise' show. The steaks were absolutely delicious and the wait staff treated all of us like kings. I had a shrimp cocktail to start off and believe me, if there were shrimp that used steroids these shrimp were it. They were not shrimps as they were HUGE. It was a meal in itself. The salad was gigantic and then the steak for four came out. WOW! The steak did not stand a chance as it was eaten in record time. We also had a bottle of an Oregon Pinot Noir wine that I found to be the best wine that I ever had. Then we got the bill. Luckily the dignitaries paid the bill as I would have had to sell my Kingdom to pay for it. It must be nice to have an expense account.
The next day I was treated to a round of golf at a course near Coram, the name of which escapes me at this time. The course had lots of sand and trees. My ball found lots of sand and trees. The front nine was a debacle but on the back nine I played a little bit more respectably. As Walt Whitman once said "I never met a divot I didn't like" or was that a man...geez, I cannot be sure but I definitely left my mark on that course. Next time I am packing a chainsaw.
Flying down was my first experience on jetBlue airlines. It wasn't too bad except the TVs were dead on the flight home and, of course, I had prepared myself and had a pair of earphones ready to enjoy it. Oh well.
All in all my trip down to Long Island was a great success as diplomatic relations between Long Island and Moronica are at an all time high. Unfortunately, so was my golf score.
Oh, in parting I must say that to drive in Long Island you must be registered as insane as your King's chauffeur had to do some fancy driving to avoid getting us killed by idiots that just do not know how to drive. Luckily I had my trip planned out to be the reverse of rush hour. As I was headed for JFK for the flight back to Moronica the expressway out of Queens was a parking lot. Thank goodness the traffic here is nowhere near as bad as that. Even during the normally slower traffic times there were still plenty of vehicles on the road. The quiet times were equivalent to rush hour up here. UGH!! I could never live down there as I would go crazy behind the wheel. Crazier than I already am and that is saying a lot.
That is it from Moronica tonight. Have a happy!!
The next day I was treated to a round of golf at a course near Coram, the name of which escapes me at this time. The course had lots of sand and trees. My ball found lots of sand and trees. The front nine was a debacle but on the back nine I played a little bit more respectably. As Walt Whitman once said "I never met a divot I didn't like" or was that a man...geez, I cannot be sure but I definitely left my mark on that course. Next time I am packing a chainsaw.
Flying down was my first experience on jetBlue airlines. It wasn't too bad except the TVs were dead on the flight home and, of course, I had prepared myself and had a pair of earphones ready to enjoy it. Oh well.
All in all my trip down to Long Island was a great success as diplomatic relations between Long Island and Moronica are at an all time high. Unfortunately, so was my golf score.
Oh, in parting I must say that to drive in Long Island you must be registered as insane as your King's chauffeur had to do some fancy driving to avoid getting us killed by idiots that just do not know how to drive. Luckily I had my trip planned out to be the reverse of rush hour. As I was headed for JFK for the flight back to Moronica the expressway out of Queens was a parking lot. Thank goodness the traffic here is nowhere near as bad as that. Even during the normally slower traffic times there were still plenty of vehicles on the road. The quiet times were equivalent to rush hour up here. UGH!! I could never live down there as I would go crazy behind the wheel. Crazier than I already am and that is saying a lot.
That is it from Moronica tonight. Have a happy!!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Thirteenth Inductee into the Moronica Hall of Fame
Well, Roger Goodell finally made his decision. He has suspended our next inductee for the first six games, with two off for good behavior, for this upcoming season. This man, who is going to be the star in Moronica Pictures production of "Free Willy II" has set a standard for disgusting behavior that will be hard to top. This man had the world as his oyster but could not keep his willy under control. Luckily for him there was not enough evidence for Fred Bright, a Georgia District Attorney, to consider pressing charges, though I am sure he would have loved too. This is the second time he has been accused of sexual assault and he is pressing his luck. This is the same guy who, a few years ago, was so moronic that he decided he did not need to wear a helmet while on his motorcycle and promptly nearly ended his career when he crashed it. Maybe he scrambled his brains a bit when his head hit the pavement? Only his doctors can answer that question. The new inductee into my Moronica Hall of Fame is none other than Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger.
Mr. Goodell decided, even though charges are not forthcoming, that Big Ben has violated the personal conduct code of the NFL and was worthy of a lengthy suspension. Ben has showed repeated stupidity for a man of his standing. It seems that this guy thinks that just because he IS an NFL quarterback he can do anything he wants to do and get away with it. Well, not any more Big Ben. The NFL has now placed you under double secret probation and you had better find a way to keep willy under control. It is time that he thinks with the head that sits upon his neck and starts to mature a bit.
The Steelers are now going to be without their star player for probably four games this year. And thanks to Big Ben they may have one hell of a hole to try to climb out of to get into the playoffs. The NFL season is short enough where four games really does matter. I just heard today on ESPN that if a top ten draft pick were to be offered for him he would be traded. Even though Big Ben is a moron I would hope that the Buffalo Bills, with pick #9 in the draft would consider trading it for him. They would have to address their offensive line with a pick or two also as Ben is not the most mobile of quarterbacks in the league. Big Ben is a sure thing, since if they decided to draft Jimmy Clausen out of Notre Dame with that pick he would be a big question mark as Notre Dame QBs are big time hit or miss projects. He could turn out to be the next Joe Montana or possibly be the next Rick Mirer. Only time will tell for that young man. But so far only the Bills and the Rams have said no to Pittsburgh's overtures for a trade. I guess the Bills figured they were so deep at the position they did not need his services. Wow, I cannot wait for another year of Trent Edwards but I digress.
Now, in conclusion, with the consistent pattern of moronic behavior exhibited by our friend Ben Roethlisberger it leaves me no choice but to induct him into my MHOF. So, if you happen to see Ben Roethlisberger please let him know of his enshrinement and the honor of which that has been bestowed upon him.
Mr. Goodell decided, even though charges are not forthcoming, that Big Ben has violated the personal conduct code of the NFL and was worthy of a lengthy suspension. Ben has showed repeated stupidity for a man of his standing. It seems that this guy thinks that just because he IS an NFL quarterback he can do anything he wants to do and get away with it. Well, not any more Big Ben. The NFL has now placed you under double secret probation and you had better find a way to keep willy under control. It is time that he thinks with the head that sits upon his neck and starts to mature a bit.
The Steelers are now going to be without their star player for probably four games this year. And thanks to Big Ben they may have one hell of a hole to try to climb out of to get into the playoffs. The NFL season is short enough where four games really does matter. I just heard today on ESPN that if a top ten draft pick were to be offered for him he would be traded. Even though Big Ben is a moron I would hope that the Buffalo Bills, with pick #9 in the draft would consider trading it for him. They would have to address their offensive line with a pick or two also as Ben is not the most mobile of quarterbacks in the league. Big Ben is a sure thing, since if they decided to draft Jimmy Clausen out of Notre Dame with that pick he would be a big question mark as Notre Dame QBs are big time hit or miss projects. He could turn out to be the next Joe Montana or possibly be the next Rick Mirer. Only time will tell for that young man. But so far only the Bills and the Rams have said no to Pittsburgh's overtures for a trade. I guess the Bills figured they were so deep at the position they did not need his services. Wow, I cannot wait for another year of Trent Edwards but I digress.
Now, in conclusion, with the consistent pattern of moronic behavior exhibited by our friend Ben Roethlisberger it leaves me no choice but to induct him into my MHOF. So, if you happen to see Ben Roethlisberger please let him know of his enshrinement and the honor of which that has been bestowed upon him.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
King vs. Cricket
Being too bloody cold and rainy outside this morning your King had the opportunity to watch his very first Cricket match from India compliments of DirecTV(unpaid plug). That was because golf for me was out of the question as I am allergic to cold and rainy weather. The match featured Decca vs. Dehli and was part of some kind of tournament. I sat on the couch wondering what the hell was going on as you had some guy running up and heaving the ball into the ground and a batter trying to whack it somewhere. I spent most of the time trying to figure out the scoring but I am sure of one thing and that is if you hit a homer you get credited for an automatic six runs. In our game of baseball if you hit a homer you can score up to four runs. I guess in India the exchange rate credits you with two extra runs.
As I sat there in stark amazement at the goings on I saw one of the batters hit a grounder and then two guys, the batter and someone opposite from him, start running at each other like madmen carrying their bats with them. I was sort of hoping they would using the bats on each other but I guess they were on the same team. I did not see any bases so that left me wondering what they were running for...I figured being in India they were running for their lives but that was not the case here. Behind the batter there were three wooden posts sticking out of the ground. Methinks the thrower is trying to hit the sticks and the batter is trying not to let him. Sounds logical.
One thing that I did figure out is that if the batter hit the ball and it was caught by one of the fielders he was out and someone else took his place and started swinging but the funny thing is that if he hit a homer he still got to keep swinging. There wasn't any slow trot around the bases like we have here as the umpire just put up both arms looking like he was signaling a touchdown. As the thing was worth six points I guess that it is a touchdown.
The game has divisions called overs and for the life of me I could not figure out what constituted an over. Here an inning is three outs for each team but an over?? Each team got 20 overs and got them consecutively. No on and off the field after three outs or whatever an over constitutes. I have a hunch that it is a certain number of balls thrown at the batter(literally AT the batter), but that is only a hunch. Speaking of 'at the batter' the batter has to wear pads, a helmet and big mombo gloves on his hands. The guy is better protected than a hockey goalie and for good reason as he, sometimes, has to swing the bat in self defense.
A funny thing about all of the fielders is that none of them wear mitts. They field everything bare handed and that does impress your King. I have never held a cricket ball so I do not know how hard or soft the thing is but I guess it still has to hurt if you field a hot liner back at your face. One of the keys to this game, and I still do not know why, is that if a hit ball rolls past the ring boundary you get, I believe, four runs added to your total. Four runs for a hot grounder that eludes the fielders??? That seems a bit much to me.
After the game was over I sat that wondering what the heck I just saw. I could google cricket to find out the rules of the game but what fun would that be? My imagination of what the rules could possibly be is a lot more fun than learning what the real rules are. Besides, that may be the only game I may ever see, though DirecTV (another unpaid plug) is showing the end of the tourney next weekend, if I am lucky enough to forget that it is on, and again only if I am lucky enough to get rained out of golf again but that wouldn't be cricket. Knowing the weather patterns that we have in this area during the spring and summer months on Sundays I am sure there will be a good chance I may be able to see the silly game again. Glancing at the clock I now see that it is tea time and I must end this written mess. This is your King hoping that the rest of your day does not find you getting into a sticky wicket.
As I sat there in stark amazement at the goings on I saw one of the batters hit a grounder and then two guys, the batter and someone opposite from him, start running at each other like madmen carrying their bats with them. I was sort of hoping they would using the bats on each other but I guess they were on the same team. I did not see any bases so that left me wondering what they were running for...I figured being in India they were running for their lives but that was not the case here. Behind the batter there were three wooden posts sticking out of the ground. Methinks the thrower is trying to hit the sticks and the batter is trying not to let him. Sounds logical.
One thing that I did figure out is that if the batter hit the ball and it was caught by one of the fielders he was out and someone else took his place and started swinging but the funny thing is that if he hit a homer he still got to keep swinging. There wasn't any slow trot around the bases like we have here as the umpire just put up both arms looking like he was signaling a touchdown. As the thing was worth six points I guess that it is a touchdown.
The game has divisions called overs and for the life of me I could not figure out what constituted an over. Here an inning is three outs for each team but an over?? Each team got 20 overs and got them consecutively. No on and off the field after three outs or whatever an over constitutes. I have a hunch that it is a certain number of balls thrown at the batter(literally AT the batter), but that is only a hunch. Speaking of 'at the batter' the batter has to wear pads, a helmet and big mombo gloves on his hands. The guy is better protected than a hockey goalie and for good reason as he, sometimes, has to swing the bat in self defense.
A funny thing about all of the fielders is that none of them wear mitts. They field everything bare handed and that does impress your King. I have never held a cricket ball so I do not know how hard or soft the thing is but I guess it still has to hurt if you field a hot liner back at your face. One of the keys to this game, and I still do not know why, is that if a hit ball rolls past the ring boundary you get, I believe, four runs added to your total. Four runs for a hot grounder that eludes the fielders??? That seems a bit much to me.
After the game was over I sat that wondering what the heck I just saw. I could google cricket to find out the rules of the game but what fun would that be? My imagination of what the rules could possibly be is a lot more fun than learning what the real rules are. Besides, that may be the only game I may ever see, though DirecTV (another unpaid plug) is showing the end of the tourney next weekend, if I am lucky enough to forget that it is on, and again only if I am lucky enough to get rained out of golf again but that wouldn't be cricket. Knowing the weather patterns that we have in this area during the spring and summer months on Sundays I am sure there will be a good chance I may be able to see the silly game again. Glancing at the clock I now see that it is tea time and I must end this written mess. This is your King hoping that the rest of your day does not find you getting into a sticky wicket.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Twelfth Member of the Moronica Hall of Fame
The more and more I hear about what is coming out about our ex-congressman, Democrat Eric "Tickle me Elmo" Massa (Elmo), the more and more I burn up inside. We, the members of the 29th Congressional District of New York, are at present without representation in the Federal Government because of this dingleberry. This man was in the military, fought a courageous battle against cancer, was happily, or so we thought, married and seemed like a honest forthright man and a good candidate for election to Congress. Boy were WE fooled.
It is hard to believe that he did not do any of his fruity type antics prior to running for election and that they did not come out. Did getting elected to Congress affect this man's brain? Did the ability to hire young male staffers affect this guys thinking patterns? What made him think that young men liked to get 'tickled'??? Thanks to him we now have the, Florida House Representative, Foley mess right here in our back yard due to this nimrod. Didn't anybody dig into this guys background prior to his running for Congress?
Now a bigger question, one that dogged former representative Tom Reynolds of New York during the Foley investigation, is who knew what and when did they learn about it. Nancy Pelosi's camp is sending out mixed signals about the time frames of discovery. It will be interesting to see if anythings happens as the result of this search but now, since Elmo is history, that search probably won't be as vigorous as it should.
What can go through a man's mind, knowing that he is under the public's eye 24/7, to do such silly and moronic things? He tried to explain himself on the Glen Beck show and the Larry King show but pretty much said nothing. Glen Beck apologized for wasting an hour of America's time interviewing that idiot. That pretty much says it all.
Governor David Paterson now has a dilemma in his hands thanks to Elmo. He needs to call a special election but only a few months after that election that seat will be up for grabs again. What does he do? Does he call the election, forcing counties to spend money that they really do not have, or wait until fall? Mayor Tom Reed of Corning is going to be our next representative from this district no matter when the election is held and who the Democrats put up to run against him. Holding an early election will give Mr. Reed a few extra months of seniority over any new people elected to Congress this fall. And in Congress seniority means a lot and it could mean something to the people in our district. Because of this a special election should be held as soon as possible.
Now, back to Elmo. Being an ex-military guy he surely did not put up much of a fight when all this came out. He mumbled a few possible reasons and then resigned. Good bye and good riddance. So now when you see Elmo, I mean Eric Massa, please let him know of his enshrinement into the Moronica Hall of Fame and the honor of which that has been bestowed upon him. He is a true moron perfectly fit for enshrinement for leaving us without representation.
It is hard to believe that he did not do any of his fruity type antics prior to running for election and that they did not come out. Did getting elected to Congress affect this man's brain? Did the ability to hire young male staffers affect this guys thinking patterns? What made him think that young men liked to get 'tickled'??? Thanks to him we now have the, Florida House Representative, Foley mess right here in our back yard due to this nimrod. Didn't anybody dig into this guys background prior to his running for Congress?
Now a bigger question, one that dogged former representative Tom Reynolds of New York during the Foley investigation, is who knew what and when did they learn about it. Nancy Pelosi's camp is sending out mixed signals about the time frames of discovery. It will be interesting to see if anythings happens as the result of this search but now, since Elmo is history, that search probably won't be as vigorous as it should.
What can go through a man's mind, knowing that he is under the public's eye 24/7, to do such silly and moronic things? He tried to explain himself on the Glen Beck show and the Larry King show but pretty much said nothing. Glen Beck apologized for wasting an hour of America's time interviewing that idiot. That pretty much says it all.
Governor David Paterson now has a dilemma in his hands thanks to Elmo. He needs to call a special election but only a few months after that election that seat will be up for grabs again. What does he do? Does he call the election, forcing counties to spend money that they really do not have, or wait until fall? Mayor Tom Reed of Corning is going to be our next representative from this district no matter when the election is held and who the Democrats put up to run against him. Holding an early election will give Mr. Reed a few extra months of seniority over any new people elected to Congress this fall. And in Congress seniority means a lot and it could mean something to the people in our district. Because of this a special election should be held as soon as possible.
Now, back to Elmo. Being an ex-military guy he surely did not put up much of a fight when all this came out. He mumbled a few possible reasons and then resigned. Good bye and good riddance. So now when you see Elmo, I mean Eric Massa, please let him know of his enshrinement into the Moronica Hall of Fame and the honor of which that has been bestowed upon him. He is a true moron perfectly fit for enshrinement for leaving us without representation.
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