Last week I had the chance to fly down to Long Island, by invitation, and spend some time with executive dignitaries down there. It is not too often your King gets a chance to take a royal trip away from Moronica but when the opportunity comes I cannot pass it up, especially since my trip to Myrtle Beach to visit the Hungarian Ambassador to South Carolina was postponed this year. It was my first real trip down to the Island and I was quite lucky to make it back alive, but more on that later. The dignitaries treated your King like a King. I had a chance to go to Peter Luger's Steak House in Great Neck and it was just like what I had seen on the Travel Channel's 'Steak Paradise' show. The steaks were absolutely delicious and the wait staff treated all of us like kings. I had a shrimp cocktail to start off and believe me, if there were shrimp that used steroids these shrimp were it. They were not shrimps as they were HUGE. It was a meal in itself. The salad was gigantic and then the steak for four came out. WOW! The steak did not stand a chance as it was eaten in record time. We also had a bottle of an Oregon Pinot Noir wine that I found to be the best wine that I ever had. Then we got the bill. Luckily the dignitaries paid the bill as I would have had to sell my Kingdom to pay for it. It must be nice to have an expense account.
The next day I was treated to a round of golf at a course near Coram, the name of which escapes me at this time. The course had lots of sand and trees. My ball found lots of sand and trees. The front nine was a debacle but on the back nine I played a little bit more respectably. As Walt Whitman once said "I never met a divot I didn't like" or was that a man...geez, I cannot be sure but I definitely left my mark on that course. Next time I am packing a chainsaw.
Flying down was my first experience on jetBlue airlines. It wasn't too bad except the TVs were dead on the flight home and, of course, I had prepared myself and had a pair of earphones ready to enjoy it. Oh well.
All in all my trip down to Long Island was a great success as diplomatic relations between Long Island and Moronica are at an all time high. Unfortunately, so was my golf score.
Oh, in parting I must say that to drive in Long Island you must be registered as insane as your King's chauffeur had to do some fancy driving to avoid getting us killed by idiots that just do not know how to drive. Luckily I had my trip planned out to be the reverse of rush hour. As I was headed for JFK for the flight back to Moronica the expressway out of Queens was a parking lot. Thank goodness the traffic here is nowhere near as bad as that. Even during the normally slower traffic times there were still plenty of vehicles on the road. The quiet times were equivalent to rush hour up here. UGH!! I could never live down there as I would go crazy behind the wheel. Crazier than I already am and that is saying a lot.
That is it from Moronica tonight. Have a happy!!
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