Sacrifices Must be Made

Ages ago certain civilizations made sacrifices to appease the gods in hopes that they would provide what they needed to survive or even prosper. We in the modern era still make sacrifices but in a totally different way than our ancient brothers. If gas is expensive we sacrifice trips in the car. If our cholesterol is high we sacrifice fatty foods. Not in the ancient era. In the ancient era the high priest would select a person to be sacrificed to appease their gods. Usually it would be a beautiful young female virgin that would be placed upon the altar and sacrificed to their gods. They believed that this would bring them rains for their crops, victory over their rivals or just to make their gods happy or so they thought. Now has come the time for us to make such a sacrifice. Firing my royal meteorologist, then rehiring and firing him again did not work. The weather still blows in this neck of the woods. It is time to dig deep, like our ancient brothers and make the ultimate sacrifice to appease Mother Nature and bring about our spring. We need spring. Spring makes people happy. Birds sing, plants grow, the sun shines more and women start to wear skimpier things but I digress there. We must select a human sacrifice. After giving this great thought as to who to sacrifice, and no it will not be a pretty young female virgin as your King is now single and he does not want to risk sacrificing someone who may think he is hot but again I digress, and it will be someone who represents cold weather. The person to be offered to Mother Nature loves the cold and snow and his sacrifice will represent our desire to be returned to the sun and warmth that we expect from spring.  After consulting with a few people of Aztec descent we have determined that our sacrifice shall be meteorologist Kevin Williams of Channel 10. Anyone that puts a snowmaking machine, though it was a number of years ago, in his back yard should be sacrificed to appease Mother Nature. Sacrificing Kevin will show Mother Nature that we are serious about our desire for sun and warmth. Winter in Western New York and Moronica lasts far too long and for it to be extended as long as it has been is a crime. It is now April 18th and after looking out the window today and still seeing the white crap falling has made me, and a whole lot of other people, go crazy. This needs to end and it must end now. As I have said, sacrifices must be made and Mr. Williams is it.
It is now time for your King to take his medication to bring me back to reality. Until next time, and hopefully on my meds when I put up a new post, this is your King wishing you a pleasant evening.