Your King, after having luckily replenished his supply of Pepto Bismol, decided to take in tonight's Buffalo versus Pittsburgh exhibition football game. Why I continue to do this to myself I will never be able to figure out. Maybe I need counseling for some self loathing condition. Maybe I just plain hate myself. Maybe I am digressing too much. Maybe the Bills just plain suck.
Watching the Bills first string defense tonight was like watching someone try to fill a sieve with water....It just doesn't work. While they played..okay, okay is not going to be good enough with the schedule that they have this year. They allow too many of those oh so frustrating third down conversions that just eat a fan's heart out. They bend way too much and even when they forced a fumble on Pittsburgh's first drive they were so deep in their own territory they could not take advantage of it. Ugh.
Now for the main reason I drained four bottles of Pepto Bismol tonight...was watching the first string offense try to resemble a first string offense. I have never seen a more offensive group of players on one side of the ball in a long time. It seems that they were only playing with ten men on the field all of the time as Lee Evans was completely forgotten. The O-Line blows. Trent Edwards reeks. The running backs, while okay, are victims of the line's poor play and the receivers do not have time to go more than five yards down field before they have to turn and look for the football being thrown to them by a quarterback fearing for his life. Usually, after running their route and turning to look for the ball, they saw a Pittsburgh team meeting at the quarterback. Even when they finally drove down close enough to try a field goal near the end of the game they somehow managed to get it blocked. The only real star they have on the team is their punter and he will probably end up getting hurt this year from being overworked. I just can't wait to get my Sunday Buffalo Newspaper to see how how much fun their sportswriters are going to have at the Bills' expense. Nothing like the offense putting up a big old bagel to make the fans and the writers happy.
I envy Pittsburgh, I really do. They have great quarterback depth in that organization. If Big Ben, please don't ask me to spell Roethlisberger, gets hurt they have a very efficient man by the name of Charlie Batch and even Dixon, their third QB has impressed. God, I really hate the Steelers.
Mr. Mind has once again made me look forward to watching Mexican Soccer on the Spanish channels on Sunday afternoons. Mr. Mind has had only one good season in his many years of being a head coach yet he always seems to get, and this time keep, a job. Why you ask? Because he works cheap and you always get what you pay for in terms of coaches. Pittsburgh has had only three coaches for as long as I can remember. Chuck Noll, Bill Cowher and now Mike Timlin are the only ones I can think of. If Chuck Noll is still alive and if I were running the Bills I would go after and hire him to replace Mr. Mind. Hey, they rehired Marv Levy when he was at least 105 years old. The bonus would be that Chuck and Ralph Wilson can go spend some time at the old folks home after the game reminiscing or playing shuffleboard. We know that Ralph would NEVER open the purse strings enough to hire a man like Bill Cowher so we won't even go there.
To finish my rant I have a little song for Mr. Mind with my sincere apologies to the Grinch:
Your a mean one...Mr. Mind
Your team plays like a heel
Your QB is a parking lot
Your o-line is a sieve Mr. Miiiiiiind.
I have three words for your team and here they are and I quote.
Stink, Stank doo doo doo do do Stunk doo doo doo doo dee doo doo doo doo doo dee doo..
That is it for tonight oh fans of Moronica. I am going to try to get a good nights sleep after being wide awake for this nightmare of a game. Wish me luck.
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