"Time off" for your King???

Well I had some paid time off to burn or else I would lose it. That would have been a sin as it is rather quiet now at work....before the expected oncoming storm, so it gives me a chance to clear my mind and prepare for it. You think I would rest and relax but NOOOOO!!! As I am lying in my bed Sunday night I look at the walls and ceiling of my Royal Bedroom and they reminded me of what a Royal Dungeon should look like. Grungy! So on Monday I raided what was left of my depleted Royal Treasury...well what do you expect the treasury to be just past Christmas, and bought some supplies. I went to Home Depot and bought some paint and accessories to make the Royal Bedroom look royal again. To make it fit for a King again, so to speak. I did a bit of trim work Monday afternoon so I could blast it with the roller today. Well it has turned out to be a royal pain in the ass. Too much taping, too much covering, too much moving crap around and too much paint not doing what I want it to do. I must have forgotten how much I actually hated painting but it came back to me in a sudden rush as I commenced my project.
After a bit of work, finishing the trim for what I wanted to get done today, I reached a point where I had to stop and take a break before I could continue. So I went out and got my newspaper to read and went to Bill Gray's for lunch, you know for personal reasons that I would never go to Burger King, for a couple of burgers which I assimilated quickly as they were very tasty. You cannot go wrong with a Bill Gray's burger unless you do not have a coupon. If you don't have a coupon a stop at the local bank for a quick withdrawal would be a good idea. They may be the world's best cheeseburgers but they are also the world's most expensive cheeseburgers but I digress.
I then went back to work and finished about 80% of the project leaving the balance for tomorrow which I dread as it involves moving my bed. That will pretty much suck as I may as well make my appointment with my Chiropractor right now. This is your King, awaiting his expected bad back with impunity, wishing you a pleasant evening.
PS: The Governor of Pennsylvania is an idiot because the NFL did the right thing in moving the game to Tuesday. Besides giving us something to watch on a usually crappy night of television what a mess it would have been with 70,000 fans trying to get home through the blizzard at midnight. I would rather be a nice, warm and safe wuss than a cold, trapped in a snowbank, football fan trying to get home. I wonder if Governor Moron had tickets to the game. If he did not he should keep his big yap shut as fan safety is paramount.

Merry Christmas

This is King Dinglefritz, Royal Monarch of the Kingdom of Moronica, wishing all of you a Merry Christmas. I hope that Santa fulfills all of your wishes.
I will try to give him a call afterwards, that is before he leaves for his Bahamas vacation, to see how he is doing and how his trip around the world went. Feel free to track him @ Noradsanta.com even though he is not keen about having that tracking device attached to his sleigh. Though I do hear he is compensated quite handsomely for it.
Hopefully he will answer my call as the last I knew he was still recovering from the Secret Service incident at the White House.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!

Ruminations from your Royal Monarch

1) I was checking out the weather section of today's paper and I happened to come across the snowfall totals for the region. What I see leads me to believe that Lakes Erie and Ontario should be filled in. Of course seasonal wind direction plays a big part in this but these totals are interesting as of yesterday:
Buffalo - 29.9"
Rochester - 46.1"
Syracuse - 71.7"
Albany - 4.2"
Toronto - 3.8"
What stands out the most is Toronto's total of only 3.8 inches so far. With their location, even though they are right on the lake, they almost never get any lake effect snow. We would be right on par with Toronto if Lake Ontario was filled in.
2) Well we got our tax bill signed despite the best efforts of the GOP to keep this stalled until their millionaire and billionaire buddies got their cuts too. This bill also had relief for the unemployed as it extended their benefits but the GOP held out. Here is an 'interview' with Senator Mitch McConnell-R, Kentucky courtesy of the Moronica AP:
"Senator, why are you holding up the bill for tax relief from the poor and middle class and assistance for the unemployed?"
"We are not supporting this bill until they include tax relief for my millionaire and billionaire supporters. Those poor souls need it too."
"But Mr. McConnell, what about the poor and unemployed who really need this relief to survive?"
"Are there no prisons? Are the workhouses out of business?"
"Sir, the prisons are full of convicted criminals and all of the workhouses are now in India and China."
"Harrumph. This interview is over."
He then stormed away from our reporter. Senator Harry Reid was heard mumbling as he walked by: "At least we now know what GOP stands for: Greed Over the Poor." (Remember, my GOP friends, that this is just a blog of moronica)
3) It is now only a week before Christmas and, lo and behold, I have seen the first vestiges of Valentine's Day candy now making their appearance at the local Wegmans. It was just a small little display but c'mon, Valentine's day is in February. We still have two weeks of this miserable month to get through. Let us at least make it to the new year before we start seeing valentine candy. Jeez.
4) I do not know what is more moronic, T.O.'s mouth and TV show or Ryan "Grizzly Adams" Fitzpatrick's beard. We have come to expect anything from T.O. as his team stinks and he is not afraid to place the blame where it belongs. I will give T.O. a break on this for now but that beard of Ryan's has to go. My god, from what I have heard the beard even has a twitter account. If he lets it grow any longer he can dye it white, put on a red suit and be a department store Santa. It is beginning to get comical to watch his interviews from week to week just to check on the beard. He is supposed to shave it off at the end of the year but he may have to put that on hold as a pair of robins have built a nest in it.
Well it is almost time for my weekly torture of watching the Bills play and lose again at the last minute. This is your King wishing you a pleasant day.

Fifteenth Inductee into the Moronica Hall of Fame

Continuing the tradition that your King has created in the Kingdom of Moronica of enshrining those who go over and above the call of duty when it comes to being a moron we now have our historic fifteenth inductee into my MHOF. This inductee has a cushy job as an assistant coach of an NFL team. This boob instructed the inactive players to line up as close to the sideline as possible in order to possibly get in the way of the gunners of the team punting the ball. This moron actually took the step of kneeing, and injuring an opponent, as he was heading down the sideline to cover a punt. My new inductee is none other than the Strength and Conditioning Coach of the New York Jets, Sal Alosi. This boob sets back sportsmanship fifty years and puts the evil eye on the coaches who are above him in the Jets hierarchy.
Going back in time I remember watching old time NFL videos where players along the sideline would half in jest stick their foot out when an opponent would run by but there is one instance where a player came from the sideline and actually tackled the guy. This was ages ago and my thinking is, in this day and age of video scrutiny, that this stuff was a thing of the past but no. Sal Alosi has brought back those 'fine' memories of the lack of sportsmanship.
According to his players, inactive tight end Jeff Cunningham in particular, he has had them line up all year along the sidelines during a punt just as they did against the Dolphins this past Sunday. This time he took it one step further by actually sticking out his knee and sending Dolphin's gunner Nolan Carroll flying and Nolan ended up being injured on the play. At first the Jets suspended Sal for the rest of the year when they thought this was just an isolated incident but when they found out that the players were actually instructed by this moron to do this he was suspended indefinitely without pay and fined an additional $25,000. This guy must be a complete idiot figuring that he could get away with this without big brother catching it. I was watching the game and just shook my head in disbelief when they showed the replay of him taking Nolan Carroll down with his knee. I tell you cameras are everywhere in an NFL game. They even caught Jets Quarterback Mark Sanchez wolfing down a hot dog, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, during a game last year while he was sitting on the bench. I guess when you are hungry you have to eat and since he was a number five draft pick last year I guess he could afford to buy a concession stand hot dog. I wonder where he was hiding his cash...
Because Sal Alosi has proven himself to be a total moron he was unanimously inducted as the fifteenth member of the MHOF so if you see Sal Alosi please let him know of his enshrinement and the honor of which that has been bestowed upon him.
This is your King wishing you a pleasant evening!!

Fine Print Moronica Spotted from the Royal Observatory

Well, your King went out to get today's mail from the old box. It had one thing in it and that was the regular monthly Valupak envelope of coupons for me to peruse. I got to the coupon for Palermo's Subs and Pizza shop and I just had to shake my head after reading through it's various offers. Among the offers they had a coupon for a large pizza with unlimited toppings for $9.99. As always these coupons have the dreaded fine print and the fine print for this one stated "additional toppings extra". I am trying to figure out what more I can put on the pizza besides the unlimited toppings. What additional toppings are there to include on the pizza after you have already told them to load it up with the unlimited toppings? Maybe I should call them and find out what the additional toppings are that need to be charged for when I ask for an unlimited topping pizza. Maybe it is the cheese and sauce that need to be added on to the charges. I can imagine the conversation going thusly...
"I would like to order the large pizza with unlimited toppings please for $9.99."
"Would you like everything on it?"
"You bet I would, you can't beat the price of $9.99 for a loaded pizza."
"Would you like sauce and cheese included on your pizza?"
"Most certainly!!"
"Your total will be $26.99 and you can pick it up in 30 minutes."
"$26.99???? What happened to $9.99????"
"That is the price when you include the sauce and the cheese. If you look at the coupon it says 'additional toppings extra'."
"Huh?? What??? Isn't that included already?"
"C'mon, what do you expect for $9.99?? On this pizza the sauce and the cheese are extra."
"Please cancel my order..goodbye."
Oh man. The fine print will get you every time.
It is now time for your King to watch the Sabres get their collective butts whipped. Have a pleasant evening.

I Did Not Know Ricardo Montalban was Japanese

Well, part of this blog was to be devoted to things that I determine to be moronic. I have deviated a bit from that theme but today I have something to write about that I found to be highly moronic. Ages ago Hollywood had this thing about oriental actors...They did not want to use them. Look at the old Charlie Chan movies and you will see this. Warner Oland and Sydney Toler both played Charlie Chan and neither of them was a bit Chinese. This leads me to this bit of total moronica that caused me to write this nonsense.
Yesterday I watched an old Hawaii Five-O episode from season one(1968) called 'Samurai", it was about this Japanese man who was targeted by the Bushido because of something he did during World War Two. I will not delve into this but I found it highly moronic that this Japanese gentleman was played by Ricardo Montalban. He did not sound a bit Japanese and you could almost hear his soon to be famous words 'rich Corinthian leather' rolling from his lips. The makeup department did their best to make him look the part but there is only so much stuff you can put around the eyes without them looking comical. Well they exceeded that level and Ricardo looked just plain moronic playing this part. His acting was fine but how can you cast that man, with that trademark voice, as a Japanese character???? He was always a pleasure to watch act but this part was not him. And, of course, Steve McGarrett(Jack Lord), who is my hero, saved the day again. That old series was a classic.
The new version of the series does not interest me as it just flies by to quickly. The decrease in the amount of story time as the result of the increase in the number of ads takes so much away from the story development nowadays. Just compare the old with the new and you will see that. This is your King wishing you a pleasant evening. Have a happy!

Kibbles & Bits from your King

1) Can there be any happier person right now than Channel 10's meteorologist Kevin Williams. Since the beginning of this month we have received over 23 inches of snow. That is after getting nothing but a flurry in November. Now, as I have said before, Kevin would have a smile on his face even if he was reporting that the glaciers were advancing on New York State. This goof even had a snow making machine in his back yard for some reason a while back. This man just enjoys the snow and the cold. He must be ready to go nuts over next Monday's forecast of a huge storm. If that happens there will be no containing his giddiness.
2) In my last muse I wrote about the 'Hands of Clod', now I have to write about the 'Foot of Clod'. I was watching the UEFA Cup game between Dutch team FC Twente and the Tottenham Hotspur. Well the dutch goalie came through with a fine ESPN moment that will most certainly be on their year end blooper reel. It seems that the fullback for FC Twente needed to get rid of the ball under pressure and what better person to pass it to than his unmolested goalie. Well, he passed it back and the goalie took a swing at it with his foot to clear it and WHIFF, the ball kept going backwards. You can guess where it ended up. Now, he may have barely touched the ball but he swept at it with his foot instead of getting behind the ball. Now the ball may have taken a little bit of an unexpected bounce but still the goalie needs to get the meat of his leg behind it just in case. He didn't and the home crowd were not happy with the result. He is now known as the 'Foot of Clod'.
3) I had a dentist appointment today in Geneseo but I never made it. My appointment was at nine so I left at twenty of eight to give myself plenty of time but after twenty five minutes and not getting more than 2 miles from my home I decided to throw in the towel. It was not pretty out there. The expressway was a parking lot, Spencerport Road was backed up to the Big M (and that is over two miles of backup). It was slippery and still snowing like a banshee so I decided living was better than having cleaned teeth. I ended up spending the day keeping my driveway cleaned. My afternoon appointment decided it was smart to stay home so my day off was pretty much a waste. Well, I have the time off available and I will lose it if I do not use it.
4) Our Bumbling Buffalo Bills laid one hell of an egg this past Sunday. It started out with promise and then the chicken came to the coop and sat on the nest. Leodis 'Toast' McKelvin was buttered badly. Most of the O-Line ended up in the infirmary and I was looking for the channel selector. Unfortunately the other game on was just as bad. At least I caught a little bowling for a change which leads me to.....
5) Obviously, after my performance yesterday, I did not learn anything watching the Pros. My evening at Bedrock Lanes was totally mundane. For the most part I did not miss the pocket but I could not carry the hits. Ten pins and seven pins were my bane and when the lanes finally broke down in the last game the split bug showed up. I just feel like I am ready to explode for a huge series but I keep coming up with duds. I will say this though I will trade in everything to bowl a huge series next week when we bowl the most annoying team in the league. What I would not give to stick a 780 up their collective hind ends.
6) Sixty nine years ago today was the day that President Franklin Roosevelt declared would be the 'Day that would live in infamy'. The Japanese decided it would be a good idea to launch a sneak attack on us and bomb Pearl Harbor. While it seemed like a good idea at the time for them after they finished it turned out to be a big mistake. After we cleaned their clocks at the battle of Midway the momentum was ours and slowly we drove them back and finally in August 1945 they surrendered. So if you have a moment bow your heads and give a few moments of respect to the American military personnel that gave theirs lives in Hawaii on this day.
Well, that is enough for today. It is now time to watch the Sabres tonight. They have won the last couple of games with Ryan Miller pitching shutouts in both. Lets hope he, and the team, keep that egg on the scoreboard and not lay one on the ice. This is your King saying I may not always drink beer, but when I do I prefer Labatt's Blue. Stay thirsty my friends!!

The "Hands of Clod" Redux

The pressure is now off Robert Green, England's goalkeeper in the last World Cup, who let that oh so fine shot by Clint Dempsey bounce off his hands and into the goal. He was honored with the title "Hands of Clod" by the British media. As all good Futbol fans know that name originated when Maradona, many moons ago, put his fist up next to his head and used it to put a cross from an Argentine team mate into the goal. He was so deft at it neither the referee nor the linesman caught it but the replays sure did. It became known afterwards it as the "Hand of God" goal. Robert Green's botched goal was given the title of the "Hand of Clod". After this past Sunday, at Ralph Wilson Stadium in Orchard Park, NY, we have a new honoree now to be known as the "Hands of Clod" and that would be Bill's wide receiver Steve Johnson.
Just a little background for this presentation to Steve. The Pittsburgh Steelers took a 13-0 lead in the first half and the Bills fought back and tied the game at 13. Pittsburgh then took a 16-13 lead and with 2 seconds left the Bills tied it sending the game into overtime and setting the stage for that special moment. For the most part the Bills dominated the overtime. They should have won it on the opening kickoff but Leodis McKelvin managed to trip over a team mates foot just as he was about to pull away from the pack. He would have scored and the game would have been over but no, these are our Bills, the lovable, luckless Bills. After an exchange of punts the Bills drove down to approximately the Steelers forty yard line and then it happened. Ryan Fitzpatrick called the signals, the ball was snapped, he dropped back and threw one of the best passes I have ever seen. The cameras then focused on Steve Johnson..two yards clear of any defender.. the ball sailing perfectly into his hands...your King roaring with excitement and then it happened. At first I did not know he dropped it until they took a shot of a very depressed Fitzpatrick, not thinking a drop could be possible my first thought was "Oh no, a $*$%#& holding penalty" but that was not the case. They then cut to Steve Johnson sitting in the end zone not moving and then they showed the replay. He, now of Hands of Clod fame, dropped a perfectly thrown ball. He dropped the *%^&$#* ball. Of course this could only happen to the Bills and it set up what I certainly expected was going to happen next. The Steelers then took the ball and drove it down the throats of the deflated Bill's defense to kick the winning field goal. This could have been a statement game for the Bills yet it will forever be known as the "Hands of Clod" game.
The Bills are an improving lot. They have been much more entertaining these past six games than they were in their first five games but in order to take that next step they need to win a game like this. Unfortunately they 'dropped' it into the Steeler's lap.
It will now be interesting to see what happens to the career of Steve Johnson after this. Will he suck it up and work even harder or will he let this dog him throughout the remainder of his career. He took a good first step by stepping onto the podium and taking the blame but then his tweet afterwards showed a certain level of immaturity. You can't blame God for dropping the ball. You may as well spread the blame by naming Buddha, Confuscious, Allah and whomever else you can name. They had nothing to do with it. His having a case of butterfingers did and that was evident all day as he had five bad drops, one which led to a Steeler interception at the goal line when the Bills were driving late in the fourth quarter. I have easily gotten over this game as I expect this from our lovable Bills but it sure would have been nice to see Fitzpatrick carried off the field on the shoulders of his team mates for leading this team to a much deserved victory. Your King is getting tired of saying "Maybe next game".
Oh well, have a nice evening.

Senator Kyl Sets a New Low

It is time for my one national political rant for the rest of the year as I reserve the right to complain about New York State's Government at any time of my choosing. Senator Jon Kyl, the senate's number two republican, has turned the Senate Republicans ban on earmarks into a short lived joke. He managed to slip into a bill a 200 million dollar earmark to get water to the White Mountain Apaches. Now, while I have nothing against the Apaches getting their water, this goes against everything the GOP has been saying lately. Now Senator Kyl is claiming that this is not an earmark but if it walks like a duck, smells like a duck and quacks like a duck then it is probably a duck. This is a duck...I mean earmark. At best, per Senator Leahy of Vermont, Kyl's project would help the White Mountain Apaches "make snow at their ski resort, improve water flow to their casino and build fish hatcheries to improve local fish production". I guess it is good for the fish. But then again Senators Max Baucus, D-MT and Senator Jeff Bingaman, D-NM also joined the earmark fun can got their prizes into the bill too. I guess it is time for everyone to get their requests into their favorite Senator because it is open season again for earmarks.
Now Senator Kyl is the same Senator who is single handedly holding up the new START Treaty from discussion in the Senate. Why is that??? Other START Treaties of this ilk have passed the Senate with 90+ votes each time so why the hold up on this one. From what I have read if this Treaty is not passed by January first then it has to be negotiated again. What is this man trying to prove? Just because it is the Obama Administration behind it?? My god man this is not a "Seven Days in May" scenario and Obama is NOT Jordan Lymon. Put the treaty before the Senate and get it discussed and passed before the end of the year. Stop being selfish about it and put America first for a change and not your party and your hatred of the President. Jerk.
Also in the 'jerk' category is Senator McConnell from Kentucky. He has vowed to do whatever that he can in his power to prevent President Obama from getting re-elected. It sure sounds like this clod is going to put America first when it comes to getting things done in the Senate. Again, as I have said before, when is the 'White Knight' going to ride in and unite this country like it needs desperately? This schism between the left and the right is getting ridiculous and it only hurts we Americans.
It was good to see that Alaska came through and re-elect a common sense republican in Lisa Murkowski. Jim Miller, a devout Palinite, is a radical conservative and even with the GOP's backing, since he won the primary, could not beat Murkowski even though she had to be written in on each and every ballot cast for her. Now that is amazing since it has been over fifty years since anything like this has happened. It proves that Alaskan brains are not deep frozen and they will do the right thing when it counts.
Why does nutcase Nancy Pelosi insist on keeping her job as minority leader of the House? One of the things that lead to the GOP romp in this year's election was the GOP's focus on her. She should have done the right thing and passed the baton and put a fresh Democrat as the minority leader. It will just give the GOP another election to focus on her again.
Again your King is so sick of politics and the games that they play in Washington that I am about to puke. Is this what our forefathers intended for our government to become? I highly doubt it. Maybe it is time for "General James Matoon Scott" to lead a revolt.

PS: Hey everyone we, in New York, have for the most part re-elected the same bunch of clowns that we had in the legislature before. We deserve what we get....another two years of broken promises to reform the place. Albany still needs a massive dose of Drano to clean out the feces that currently govern this state. Unlike Alaska we do not have the common sense to do the right thing.
'Nuff said. Your King wishes you to stay thirsty my friends.

Turning the Corner...I Sure Hope So

This year's edition of the Buffalo Bills has told me many things. The first thing is that Chan Gailey is one heck of a coach. He has this team of ridiculously little talent playing their guts out every week. I cannot recall a single issue where I was thinking "What in hell is running through this coach's mind?". With a little luck this team could be 5-5 right now. Even though they stink they are putting on a good show, especially the last six weeks where every game was close.
Could Ryan Fitzpatrick be the future quarterback of the Bills? Sometimes you think, yes he is the guy and then he does something stupid. Last week against Cincinnati he did his stupid stuff in the first quarter and then played like Otto Graham for the rest of the game. Makes you wonder.
He got rid of Trent Edwards and Marshawn Lynch for good reason and he has managed to find a few useful spare parts to plug into the offensive line. While the line is not the Great Wall of China it does have its moments where it looks halfway decent. Unlike last year when they resembled a revolving door.
Mr. Mind is gone and we have a great replacement in Chan Gailey. Bill Cowher tooted Gailey's horn when he was hired by the Bills. I guess Bill does know what he is talking about. I am willing to give the new regime a chance to put a team together that will hopefully put Buffalo back on the map again. While they still need an infusion of talent, and after seeing what they can do with the lot they have now, I look forward to a few smart drafts and a few serviceable free agents. Who knows but I hope it does not take long.

The Lanes that Time Forgot

Well, Your King now has an aching shoulder and a desire to rant like a raving maniac. A while back I wrote that I was talked into bowling this year at Spencerport Lanes. There was talk of new this, new that and the new other things. Well, what was true is that they did get a new oiling machine but, after so many weeks, still don't know how to use it. I finally found out a couple of weeks ago that they finally decided to read the manual. I wonder what gave them that idea that reading the manual might help. Still the shot there blows. After last night's fiasco my shoulder feels like it needs a transplant. All I want to do is to be able to throw a ball nice and easy, give it the proper fingers and watch what happens. I would rather not have to, at my age, heave the piss out of it. I hurt my shoulder five years ago pitching fast pitch softball and it took months for it to feel better and it is getting to the point where I would like to be able to use it normally for another 30 plus years. After having it ache like it did today maybe I had better rethink my desire to get back to be the bowler I was back in 2003.
Walking through the doors at Spencerport is like walking into the Time Tunnel and going back into time. Back to the time of Bedrock where Fred and Barney heaved their 'balls' down the lanes with pterodactyls resetting the pins after each shot. That is exactly what we have here. The place even has Fred and Barney type bowlers too but, then again, every place has them. The pterodactyls are still very ornery and only work when they want to. Nothing like watching the clock tick away as they try to get the bloody thing back to work again. Oh well.
The place has sapped my desire to play this silly game. I used to look forward to my three games a week, now I dread them. My will to excel is usually gone by the end of the first game but yesterday it was gone by the middle of practice. The ball either skated or reacted early. I tried moving outside a bit, then inside a bit, changed the speed a bit but in the end I ended up just heaving the bloody thing. Ugh.
I was hoping to bowl elsewhere this year but that fell through much to my chagrin. That was too bad as I know at the other place I could have rolled the ball nice and easy, still giving it the proper amount of lift, and scored well. But noooo, I must be a glutton for punishment. I must hate myself. Maybe I should check myself into the R-wing at Strong and have them run some tests, but then again if I do they might not let me out.
I miss the days when I used to bowl in Geneseo and Caledonia with my friends. I had a good time. Even when Kenny put out a crap shot I still had a good time because even though the shot was crap you had to work hard and make the proper adjustments and you could still score. The thing is that I never had to heave the ball. I miss the trips to the ABC Bowling Tournament that one of my friends would schedule every May. It was a week of fun. Maybe now that the Queen is with the Burger King I might try to get back into that yearly trip...that is if I do not need a new shoulder by that time but only time will tell as I look forward to next week's trip to The Lanes that Time Forgot.
Have a nice evening! Your King.

More Thoughts from your Favorite King

1) Thank goodness the election season is finally over. No more commercials. No more mailings. No more of listening to one candidate telling us how bad the other one is. I hope that in the next few hours we find out that we New Yorkers have flushed that toilet known as Albany and all of the little previously elected turds that have resided there are having their asses swirling down the drain. Everyone needs to go. Only a boob would vote for returning anyone back into Albany after the past couple of years of garbage. In my district I only had one choice for my Assemblyman and, since I cannot stand the fool, I left his little circle blank and did not cast my vote for him. I should have written in Santa as we probably would have had a better job done.
2) While the Bills have been more entertaining lately they still blow. Poor Chan Gailey has nothing to work with on defense and not much more on offense. They would need to have about 15 picks in next year's first round to become competitive anytime soon. But, glutton for punishment that I am, I still watch them, hoping that a miracle happens and they win that first game. Until then I keep picking their opponent in my survivor pool #2. Figures in pool #1 the first time I deviate from picking their opponent I get boned. (Thanks to Carson Palmer handing the game to Tampa Bay...the louse)
3) Well your King is back on the lanes again. I have been remarkably consistent as my series scores have ranged from 595 to 635 for the year. I just have a feeling one week soon I will explode like Mount Merapi and have a big 700 series but only time will tell. The conditions are much better this year but the bowling is way to slow. I like to keep a good pace but when you have to wait and wait until its your turn again because people are flapping yaps, on their cell, or hiding in the doorway smoking its enough to drive you batty.
4) There should be a law passed that anyone who is participating in an anti- Tea Party rally next to tea partiers must be forced to wear a hockey helmet so that when you get your head stomped on you are protected from getting hurt. And another law that forbids Tea Partiers from wearing baseball cleats when stomping....just in case they are coming from their ball game to a rally.
5) I see that 'witch' (LOL) Christine O'Donnell has lost in her bid for the senate seat vacated by 'Mr. Mouth' Joe Biden when he became the Vice President. The GOP lost a slam dunk win when the voted for her in the primary of her foe Mr. Castle. Also it looks like Vince McMahon will have his wife back running the WWE after she got spanked in Connecticut trying to become a senator. Maybe she can return to the airwaves on RAW and get RKO'd by Randy Orton or maybe even she can join the Nexus, like your King has, and see what happens being in that group. Only Vince knows what is going to happen next.
6) One bit of good news is that I have taken Moronica off the real estate market. Your King's campaign to keep Moronica where it is has been successful so far(I just do not want to take a financial bath selling this place). The Real Estate market blows and I may be here for quite the while. I really do not mind but I won't be going on any expensive trips anytime soon. The Moronican budget is balanced for the moment but anything unforeseen and I am 'scarewwwed".
Time for me to head back to the couch as 'Mantracker' is on. I need to be at this more often to see who I can irritate out there in the real world. Moronica needs to be heard from more often than once in a blue moon. I will be mumbling and grumbling again soon. Until then stay thirsty my friends!!!

Mumblings from the King of Moronica

1) As King of Moronica I was invited down to the Village of Geneseo to be the Grand Marshall of the Alzheimer's Foundation Walk. Too bad I forgot about it.
2) I had my telescope out last night and had a good view of Uranus. But you closed your curtains and I put the scope away...Actually I did locate Uranus for the first time. It was just a small green dot but still I found it. Also saw Jupiter, its belts and its four big moons. Always a pretty sight.
3) I think I finally figured out what is wrong with me. I was listening to the radio and it had a commercial for the menopause drug Amberin (I am not sure if this is right but it is close) and they asked the typical questions that if you answered yes to any of them then you have it. Well, I answered yes to all of the questions and I guess I have menopause. I guess that would probably surprise no one that knows me well.
4) The Bills continue to baffle me. They bench Edwards and put Fitzpatrick in at QB. Now, if it was me I would have put in Brian Brohm to see what I had. Fitzpatrick will ALWAYS be a second stringer and Brohm may have some potential. Hey he was good at Louisville and he was expected to be a good NFL QB. But Chan Gailey is now starting to remind me of Mr. Mind. He looked good as a coach during the preseason but the team has looked sad during their first two games.
5) You know TV is sad when I have a zillion channels to chose from and I have a baseball game on right now. As they once said 'Television is a vast wasteland' and boy that guy must have read the TV guide for tonight. I will most certainly be looking for a movie after I finish my diatribe for today.
6) It is election season again and it is time for the 5 billion attack commercials that we will be subjected to that demonize the person's opponent. I already know who I am voting for in this stupid state that Moronica is a part of. Whoever is in is out. The bums had their chance and screwed up and now is our chance to finally flush that toilet in Albany and send them down the drain. I do have to congratulate the people in the Bronx for voting out that Moron supreme Pedro Espada in the democratic primary in his district there. It leads you to believe that we can make a different choice other than status quo. May Pedro find a nice place to retire, hopefully in a nice cell after he is found guilty of swindling his company.
7) Well, I got a phone call yesterday from someone looking for a bowler for his team. Well, since my previous team disbanded due to the pain and suffering of bowling in Spencerport, I was available and he asked me to bowl. Moron that I am, and actually dreaming of a nice year off to recuperate, I said yes but with conditions. There were only three teams I would bowl for in that league and I would not bowl for anyone else let alone be a part of a team building project. I have bowled long enough to be entitled to a few perks. Part of the sale job from him included the fact that they resurfaced the lanes and purchased a new oiling machine along with a few other changes. Those were pluses until he said he really did not have a clue as to how to program the thing to put out a good pattern. I gave him the name of a guy who is brilliant in that area and I hope he calls him. It could make it fun to bowl there so I will give him the benefit of the doubt and do it. I guess that is why I am the King of Moronica.
Time for me to find a good movie so I say good night from the Palace.

As The Moron Turns

This was on my home web page today:
"Purse, cocaine not hers, Hilton told Vegas police (AP) - 1 hour ago
AP - Paris Hilton had an explanation for police: The rolling papers, $1,300 in cash and several credit cards were hers, but not the purse they were in."

I read this and nearly gagged in disbelief. Who does Paris Hilton think we are...a bunch of dumb clucks like she is? Does she really believe that the public will swallow this horse crap? Maybe her fans will but anyone with a shred of intelligence will just recognize her for the dough head she is. Hey, maybe that will be Roger Clemens' excuse...'Well the syringe was mine but what was inside it was not.'
These days far too many 'celebrities' get away with all sorts of stuff that the average Joe would be in jail for a long while. Look at that skank Lindsey Lohan. She barely spent enough time in her jail cell to get her bed warm AND THEN she manges to get out of rehab long before her scheduled release date. Will this encourage this skank to shape up? No it won't. Slaps on the wrist only leads them to believe that they can get away with anything because of their celebrity status. She will continue her spiral downward until she meets an early end and you know what? I won't give a damn. Besides, I wouldn't touch Lindsey, let alone Paris, with Mr. Ed's wiener. I can hear poor Mr. Ed now..."Oh Wilburrrr...I itch down there Wilburrrr....Call me a Vet Wilburrr! Get me some Penicillin Wilburrr!' OK, I am getting a little disgusting but so are the lives that both Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan lead.
These so called celebrities are horrible role models for today's youth. It is sad that they get as much press as they do as they are walking advertisements for partying, drugs and unlimited sex. Its bad enough that today's youth are growing up to be the laziest generation that we have ever produced but to add this list of nonsense to it is very worrisome. With my generation if we wanted something we worked for it. We earned the money to get what we wanted. Not today. Today is the I want it now and you had better get it for me generation and you know what. They usually get it without lifting a finger. What did Paris Hilton do to earn her status? NOTHING!!! She was just born into the right family, that is all. And look what she has become. A walking mound of useless, oxygen wasting, trash. Most people have to work their butts off just to get anything, Not Paris as she just bonks her butt off.
What your King would like to see is less focus on the skank whores of the world and more on the hard working people who keep this country running. But will we see that? No. Skank sells newspapers. Skank generates ratings. Skank sells magazines. Heroes don't. When was the last time People magazine featured our soldiers in action? How many times have you seen 'Soldier of Fortune' in the rack near the cashier? You know the answer to those two questions.
That is enough pontificating for tonight my friends. Please tune in again soon when your King presents another episode of "As the Moron Turns"!

Mumblings From a Moron...I mean From Moronica

1) I had to laugh tonight. I was watching the Weather Channel and they had a commercial for some kind of show that they were going to present about the Titanic. The narrator of the commercial actually said that 'the scientists were going to send a sub down to find out what happened to the Titanic after it hit the iceberg'. They should have come to me first as I could have saved them a lot of time and effort....it sank.
2) Join with me and picture this. I am talking about the proposed mating of two TV personalities, one local and one national. They are Rachel Barnhart for Rochester's channel 13 news and Sheamus from World Wrestling Entertainment. Now these two are two of the whitest white people I have ever seen with the reddest hair on this planet. They are literally human jars of mayonnaise with red caps. If these two mated I swear their kids would be neon white with hair as red as a flashing police light. The sun would not be their friend.
3) Is there a commercial funnier than the Travelers Insurance commercial with the rattlesnake and the bunny. You hear the snake, you see the poor bunny and then the bunny starts laughing it's ass off. You see the rattlesnake was in an accident and lost its rattle and had a sub par part put on (a baby's rattle taped on with duct tape). The bunny's friends come out to see what is so funny and they start laughing at the poor snake. The snake looks at his crappy rattle and soon hides his face with the rattle going completely limp....brilliant. I give a close second place to the Geico commercials with pitcher Randy Johnson.
4) Please let me know if there is a football player more greedy than the Jets #24 Darnell(?) Revis. What he is asking for is a crime. While he is very good the money that these guys now demand is a sin. Hey, its just a game. If worse comes to worse they can do without you. He has three years left on the contract he happily signed a couple of years ago. Honor your contract and report for work you greedy slug.
5) Your King was nearly assassinated, please no cheering, at the Deerfield golf course on Friday the thirteenth. It was our last hole in the tournament and all of a sudden we hear a distant "FORE". Well, the golf cart that your king had just gotten out of was bombed by a ball. This was one bad shot, I mean really bad. It was forty yards left of and about fifteen yards deeper than the green he supposedly was aiming at. It had to be a assassination attempt as no one is that bad, not even your King. Speaking of this tournament your King had probably more than his fair share of brilliant shots during it. My seven wood from 210 yards out on the par 5 18th hole to within a foot of the cup was the talk of the clubhouse. Well, not really but it should have been. It was the easiest eagle putt I ever made.

Well, while I am in the mood to write more, my mind just is not producing like it should. I am sure it has to be a disappointment to all of my royal subjects of Moronica that I do not opine more often. Well, what I need is a long vacation on a nice beach with a cooler full of beer and a cute beach bunny at my side. Yeah, right as we all know THAT is going to happen. While I am dreaming I may as well wish for a pony as I have a better chance of getting that. Until my brain, and will to write, returns to normal my writings will be a bit sporadic but, my friends, please stay thirsty for my written droppings. Your King wishes you a pleasant evening.

King Vs. Lost Liberties

In the past month or so, in the Rochester Democrat and Chronicle newspaper's 'Letters to the Editor' section, I have read with amusement the 'tennis match' involving readers writings in regards to 'liberties being lost' thanks to the Obama administration. The letter by a young lady in Canandaigua in today's, Saturday, August 14, paper has finally spurred me to chime in on it because it was a complete joke.
The title of the letter is "Lost Liberties are adding up" and just the title of which makes me laugh out loud. Let us look at this letter paragraph by paragraph and see what adds up.
1) The first paragraph talks about the administration's takeover of the auto industry and the resulting forced closure of 'thousands of profitable dealerships'. First of all this had to do with the bankruptcy aspect of GM and Chrysler. To emerge from bankruptcy they had to 'trim the ship'. Part of trimming the ship was to cut back on the unprofitable dealerships across the nation. It is true that some weakly profitable dealerships also met their maker, or made changes in order to survive, but the dealerships that survived are now stronger because of it. The vast majority of the dealers that closed were unprofitable and yes some jobs were lost but with the increased sales at the surviving dealerships some jobs were created.
2) The second paragraph paragraph states that GM and Chrysler shareholders saw their investments confiscated by the government in favor of the UAW. This is a crock of Hee Haw. GM and Chrysler would no longer exist if it were not for the government's bailout. The government did not confiscate investor holdings. First of all the stocks for both companies were nearly worthless anyways prior to the bankruptcy and when their bankruptcies were filed that finished off the stock. Now tens of thousands of auto industry and auto industry related jobs were saved thanks to the government bailouts. Companies that were dinosaurs and would not have survived much longer are now leaner and meaner and for two quarters in a row now GM has posted a profit. I have not seen Chrysler's numbers. The state of Michigan would have become a welfare state if not for government intervention. Even though Michigan is not in a pleasant state right now can you imagine what it would be like without the auto industry being saved? It would be pathetic.
Notice how I have not addressed any liberties that would affect you or I personally.
3) The third paragraph states that the administration is ignoring their own scientists recommendations by imposing a moratorium on offshore drilling resulting in huge job losses. This statement is another crock of Hee Haw. First of all it is only a six month moratorium on deep sea drilling. In other words the government wants to take a time out to research what happened and to possibly take steps to prevent this from happening again. When the space shuttle disasters happened did NASA keep on flying? No, they did not. They declared a moratorium on flights until they were able to research the problem and effect proper safeguards to prevent the same disaster from happening again. The companies that drill in the North Sea have much tougher guidelines to adhere to in order to be able to deep sea drill that will prevent what happened in the gulf from happening there. They have much better oil leak prevention technologies in place. Damn those socialist governments and their regulations!!! This paragraph also says that this moratorium has also resulted in huge job losses in Louisiana, I would like to see her figures on this as I would bet that the job losses created by the spill will create many more and longer duration job losses than this six month moratorium ever will. The tourism industry and the fishing industry and their dependent companies have lost many jobs. Jobs that will not return after six months.
The letter finishes by stating that "while these examples may may not impact you, but a government powerful enough to destroy livelihoods is powerful enough to do the same to all citizens". OK, first of all the letter does not state a single example of a liberty that has been infringed on. Auto industry livelihoods were saved by the government's auto industry bailout. People are still at work making cars in this country for GM and Chrysler instead of being on unemployment or welfare and this includes all of the other industries that depend on GM and Chrysler for their work. If this did not happen all that really would have been left was Ford and all of the foreign companies.
What would happen if we let the oil industries regulate themselves? I cannot, nor would I want to, imagine what our world would look like. Government regulations keep them in line and they need to be made tougher. Hey, when these companies make five to ten billion dollars in profit per quarter they can afford to make each well safer. The technology is there and they should be forced to use it. A lot of people want pristine areas opened up for drilling. At this time that would be a joke unless future gulf like disasters can be prevented completely. The Obama administration was willing to open up more areas for exploration but this has made them rethink this.
Losing these 'liberties' allowed the government to save American auto industry jobs and will help prevent future environmental disasters. I guess the letter writer would have preferred that hundreds of thousands of auto industry, and their dependant companies, workers be out of work and the Gulf of Mexico to be akin to the floor of an auto repair shop.
Your King has spoken.

Mumblings from Moronica

1) So New York State finally has a budget. Big deal. Time for New Yorkers to get soaked again. They increased the bloody thing by another 7+%. It sure would be nice sometime to see it remain stable or reduced but that will not happen in our lifetimes. Not with the current band of idiots that we elected.
2) With the current real estate market it looks like Moronica will remain where it is for the foreseeable future. It has until October 31st to sell before I take it off the market for the winter. I would prefer to keep it off the market but the payments are a lot more than 40% of Moronica's net income. Ideally it should be around 30%. I am holding my own though and that leads me to wonder what the former Moronican treasurer did with all of the funds in the treasury. Your King has learned a valuable lesson, never, NEVER let the wife control the finances.
3) Well, BP has finally capped the well. Only after many months of leaking that has turned the Gulf of Mexico into the floor of an auto repair shop. They are still cleaning up in Alaska after over twenty years since the Exxon Valdez disaster. This leak, even after they figure in all the oil that was collected and or burned off, is still many times worse than that. Lets hope BP puts on a better face than Exxon as Exxon is still fighting to avoid paying for their mess. At least BP seems to be manning up for the time being.
4) How about our Rochester sports teams? The Rhinos put us to sleep and the Red Wings should be put to sleep. I do not know what it is about D-2 soccer but, and believe me I love the sport, they play the most boring brand of futbol you can imagine. I have watched the Rhinos play a few games on the telly and I think I have seen them score one goal. SNORE!!! At least the Red Bulls are on the telly. I will give the MLS credit as for the most part the games are a lot more entertaining than the Rhino games even though there is the occasional clunker. In regards to the Red Wings, the less said the better.
5) My hats off to Spain. They are the 2010 World Cup champions. Despite the attempts by the Netherlands to hack them to pieces they managed to get the game winner late in the game. At halftime it was obvious that the Netherlands did not go into the locker room to devise some strategy but to sharpen their spikes. The third place game between Germany and Uruguay was much more fun to watch.
6) One more bit of soccer fun. Poor Robert Green, the goalie for England whose 'Hand of Clod' moment gave the United States a tie with them, is feeling the heat getting ready for the upcoming Premier League season. He plays for West Ham and everyone knows that wherever the team plays this year he will hear it from the fans. It is said that his own team mates are trying to toughen him up by insulting him during practice to get him ready for it. Only in England.
7) The Town of Gates is finally getting a new library. Sue Swanton, a democrat whose main platform while trying to unseat Ralph Esposito as supervisor was to get a new library must be happy. The town board voted 4-1 for it. What is funny is that the lone vote against the new library was cast by the lone democrat. Go figure.
Sue Swanton does have a good point about the building plans for the new Library. They are planning to build a two story facility for it. She says a good library should only be one story and I side with her on this one. They should rethink it and build a proper library. Do it right the first time.
Well, That is it from Moronica tonight. Stay thirsty my friends.

Time to Play Name Association!!

Again it is time for me to provide a name and its relevant association or wish:
Lebron James - Jerk for abandoning Cleveland
ESPN - Fools for giving us an hour of LeBron
Captain Phil Harris - Gone too soon. May all of your crab pots be full upstairs.
BP's Tony Hayward - From CEO to the Gulag
King Dinglefritz - A new queen and a stable Moronica.
Moronica's Ex Queen- An allergy to whoppers
The Royal Mutt - seriously missed
Repoman - a return from his summer break
Mr. Bill - an end to his vow of silence
NY State Legislators - Brains and courage. They will never have a heart as it will reject them. And there is a better than average chance that the brains will too.
Santa - A speedy recovery from his adventure.
Kevin Williams Ch. 10 meteorologist - A transfer to Thule Greenland so he can enjoy snow and cold year round.
France - 23 new national soccer players to replace the ones that are spoiled rotten. (And they got exactly what they deserved in South Africa - A quick trip home as they did not deserve to be there.)
Ghana forward Gyan - A good hiding place after missing that penalty kick in the last seconds of overtime that eventually resulted in Ghana being ousted by Uruguay.
Jersey Shore - A quick death
Christina Applegate - King Dinglefritz's phone #.
Okay, After that I guess enough is enough. Have a pleasant evening.

Addendum
Did I say Christina Applegate??? What I really meant to say:
Susanna Hoffs, lead singer of the Bangles - King Dinglefritz's phone #, address and anything else to get her to Moronica.
What I wouldn't give to have a Time Tunnel and go back to 1986 and have a front row seat for a Bangles concert. OMG is she HOT!!!!!

Your King's Break is Nearly Over

Well, I have rested long enough. Sometimes you just have to step away for a while and let the creative juices recharge. And sometimes while there may be something interesting to write about the desire is just not there. I could write about England's goalkeeper and his hands of stone. I could write about the Mali Referee who singlehandedly almost screwed the United States. I could write about our beloved New York State Legislature and their goal of going an entire year without a budget. I could even write about my ex queen and her new beau the Burger King. But I won't.
I will keep this update short. My golf game is coming around as I finally seem to be playing like my old self again after many years of forced retirement. Lately I have been averaging between 86-94 with three of the last five rounds in the eighties. That sure beats the 95-100 that I was averaging last year. I can at least look forward again to maybe, just maybe breaking eighty again. I am fifty one and can still crush the ball and if my short game continues to improve, well who knows.
BP, which I guess stands for British Pinheads, has finally capped the gushing well. Now if they can plug it up permanently that will make the folks in the Gulf region feel better but it will be many years before that area ever returns to normal. Maybe they will start drilling wells with better anti leak measures like they do in Europe now. Again, I doubt it.
The World Cup is over and once again Ghana has knocked us out of contention. Maybe the U.S.A. should declare war on Ghana and annex them into our country before the next Cup. Hey, if you can't beat them, absorb them. It worked for Landru. Just ask Captain Kirk.
I hope Governor Paterson gets his wish and gets the soda tax enacted. That may be the way my slightly over sized belly of mine will finally return to a more normal state. But then again I am not fat, just big boned. It will be a good incentive for me to end my Coke (a-Cola) addiction. I won't buy soda anymore if the tax does go through just to spit in New York State's eye. (I will stock up before tax day however).
I have always liked Hillary Clinton and after reading an article about her in today's paper it seems that her fan base is growing. World leaders respect her and even some members of the right (GASP!!) seem impressed by her stances. The leaders have more respect for her than they have for our current president. It seems that we elected the wrong democrat to lead us. She is a strong Secretary of State and it looks like she was Obama's best appointment so far. Still I think she would rather be living in that big white house somewhere in Washington D.C. instead.
Thats enough garbage for this edition. Its good to be back. Stay thirsty my friends!

Moronic Tidbits from your Favorite Monarch

1) For some reason I seem to enjoy watching women's college softball on ESPN. It is not like they are dressed scantily like gymnasts but I played a lot of modified fast pitch softball when I was younger, Watching last night's game between Arizona and UCLA brought back memories. Bad memories. Arizona had UCLA by the throat with two out in the top of the seventh when a blunder by the outfielders led to UCLA evening the score and then winning in extra innings. It brought back bad memories when I pitched for some notoriously bad fielding teams. We would get two quick outs and then clank, an error and before you know it the other team has six runs up on the board. Your team's pitching is only as good as its fielding. I was not a bad pitcher but in a modified fast pitch league the ball is VERY hittable and I needed good fielding. On most of the teams I played for whenever the ball was hit it was an adventure but I did get to pitch for a great fielding team for about six years. We ended up winning three championships until everyone went their separate ways and we disbanded. It is too bad as we had a lot of fun.
2) Well, Memorial day Sunday was one for the books on the golf course. I finally played a round like my old self. A good consistent round for a score of 87 ( I had a +9 in the modified D'Aprile scoring system) and I still left about 5 strokes out on the course because of stupidity. Still your King won for the second time this year. I felt bad for the poor sap in the group ahead of us that finished +8 and was counting his cash until I showed up. I made sixty dollars. It paid for a round of drinks and it filled up my gas tank and then it was gone. Oh well. I was going to golf this past Sunday but when I woke up and looked out the window I saw an old man in a wooden boat in the stream next to my house loading up animals by the twos. I decided it was a touch too wet to play and went back to sleep. It figures since I was finally rounding into form that mother nature would stick it to me.
3) How about that 'great' call by umpire Jim Joyce the other night boning that poor pitcher from Detroit of his perfect game. Well, I have issued a Royal Order declaring that the game is to be recorded as perfect and reversing the umps call. At least Galarraga has a perfect game per Moronica. The ump gets points for his admission of his botch and Galarraga gets points for his demeanor after the call. The only loser is that slug Bud Selig for not doing the right thing and reversing the call. He is a jerk.
4) The Queen is almost totally moved out. Just a couple of big ticket items and that is it. She is the Burger King's problem now. I cannot wait until it is over. I will chill a bottle of champagne and open it when the house is completely empty of all of her crap. And I do mean ALL of her crap. I hope she feels that she made the right choice by fooling around on your King and then leaving him but hey, I am looking forward to not seeing the finances going into the toilet because of her bad management. I have learned a valuable lesson. Never trust a woman with the checkbook!!! PS: The house has never been cleaner.
5) The World Cup is almost upon us and your King will be watching as many games as he can. Hopefully everything will go smoothly for the games down in South Africa and with a bit of luck the USA will move on. What a shock it would be to the world if we could win the bloody thing. If we can get into the knockout round anything can happen. Go USA!!
6) Your King is still trying to sell the present site of Moronica but since the tax break ended on April 30th I have only had one person be shown the kingdom by the realtor. Looks like I will have to batten down the hatches for the long haul. It will be a lot of extra work and stretching of the dollar but I am looking forward to it. Eventually I may have to sell it to satisfy the Queen but who knows....There could always be a rogue meteor....LOL
Your King wishes you a good night from Moronica....before I get myself in trouble.

Moronic Horse#*%! from Albany

Well, I just found out today that our cash strapped state has just floated a 25 million dollar loan to keep three dying horse racing tracks open. The race tracks are Saratoga, Aqueduct and Belmont. The New York Racing Association (NYRA) was planning on closing these tracks after the June 5th Belmont Stakes mainly because no one goes to the races anymore. These tracks just hemorrhage money and that is always a good reason to close a facility. But New York State, in all its infinite wisdom, has decided to 'loan' these tracks the afore mentioned money. Being that these tracks will probably never, ever, become profitable again who does New York State expect to pay back this loan? Santa? Nope, It is going to the taxpayers of New York State that will be stuck in the rear again thanks to another poor decision by the biggest group of fools this side of the Keystone Kops.
What really drives me nuts about this is that New York State's budget is now almost two months overdue with no end in site as to when anything will be passed. While our collective groups of representatives in Albany sit on their asses contractors doing important road construction projects have not been paid since April 1st. A lot of projects now sit idle because of this and many more will soon join them. Businesses that have been affected by these road closures for the 'construction' are dying as customers cannot reach them because of these halfway done messes. I do not blame the contractors for halting their work as if they have no money coming in how are they going to pay their employees or pay for construction materials? The days of 'I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today' are long gone. But New York State will dig deep to float dying horse racing tracks cash. Cash that is badly needed elsewhere.
Again, the New York State government needs to be reduced to rubble and rebuilt from scratch. The legislature needs to be reduced to a single legislative house from its current two house setup that 'resembles' the United States Congress. The lines for each representative district for the single house needs to be drawn up by a completely nonpartisan group to prevent the usual gerrymandering that often accompanies redistricting. Just look at Louise Slaughter's congressional district if you want to see an absolutely perfect moronic example of how not to draw a district.
The stupidity needs to stop and it needs to stop now. Loaning money that we all know will never be paid back in these dire times is probably one of the most moronic things that our state government has ever done. But then again, at least Seabiscuit will still have his place to run around while Apu's mini mart that is stuck on the other side of a closed road is dying a swift and painful death from the inability of the consumer to reach it. Governor Paterson and the state's band of idiots had better take a step back and recheck their priorities. They work for us, not for the Democrat or Republican parties that they are members of. They should be there working on the budget, not figuring out ways to loan money that will more than likely end up flogging a dead horse.
Moronica, using my Kingdom as an example, has seen its treasury reduced quite a bit recently but with proper cutbacks and keen eyed austerity measures it continues to survive, though with great difficulty. Your King has a clue in regards to making ends meet. New York State does not.

Just When You Thought They Should be Put to Sleep

Just when you thought the Geico Cavemen had run their course and should be put down they come back with a commercial that is reminiscent of the ads they starred in when they first made their appearance on the national scene years ago. The ads then were witty and down right humorous. Lately the Geico cavemen ads have been about as bad as the ill fated Cavemen TV series that the networks tried to stuff down our throats a couple of years ago. Which at this time whose episodes Mr. Mind, Dick Jauron ex coach of the Buffalo Bills, is being forced to watch while in captivity for coaching below and under the call of duty. It may be cruel and unusual punishment but the man most certainly deserves it.
The ad that brought the cavemen back to respectability is the one that stars the co-captains of the crab fishing vessel Time Bandit, Johnathan and Andy Hillstrand of 'Deadliest Catch' fame. It features them waiting for a newly hired crewman when a caveman shows up, asks for a steward to come fetch his luggage and then heads off for a cappuccino. The looks on the faces of the Hillstrands is priceless as they ponder their new crewman. This ad is far and above anything Geico has put out recently. I even think it is time that the gecko be put to sleep because he has become totally moronic. But if the cavemen can start coming back with more ads like that one maybe, just maybe, they can become relevant again. While waiting to see I will be having the roast duck with the mango salsa for dinner in their honor.
And yes, your King is definitely stretching for material at this time. Its a lame Sunday night with absolutely nothing on the boob tube. It is so bad I am forced to watch soccer on the Spanish network. When I hear the commentator raise his voice I turn and watch. It is 0-0 nearing halftime and the commentator has only raised his voice once so you know that this game must be 'really' exciting. I could write about yesterdays golf but I bore my loyal readers enough with that BS. Have a nice evening.

Fourteenth Inductee into the Moronica Hall of Fame

Since July of 2006 all we heard from our newest inductee was boohoo, boohoo, I didn't do it. I am innocent! Well, today the truth was revealed. He did do it. Our newest inductee admits to the moronica of doping for his races. To try to deflect some of the damage he even tried to name a couple of dozen other athletes as dopers. He was even in charge of keeping an eye on the refrigerator with the transfusion blood stored in it. My god, this group must have been a bunch of vampires but the head moron...our new inductee is none other than the stripped 2006 "winner" of the Tour de France, Floyd Landis.
Floyd played us all for fools after he won the Tour. Crying about bad blood tests and other crappola after he was stripped of the title by the French Cycling Association, or whatever they call the bloody thing over there. He blamed everything from bad samples to bad testers to a conspiracy to cheat him out of his title. Well it finally came to light that he only cheated himself.
Cycling has been known for the longest period of time to have one of the highest percentage of cheaters in sports. The sport has been forever tainted by the idiots that have used performance enhancing drugs. Even Lance Armstrong will always have the aura of this stench around him. Floyd claims the blood for transfusions was in Lance's special refrigerator that he was in charge of checking on. Do I believe that Lance was also involved in doping back then? Is Eric Cartman fat? You can answer that.
But the issue right now involves our newest inductee. The man who cried innocence. The man who we were proud of for his big rally near the end of the race. He was also the man who had an overload of testosterone in his system at the time. We now know that he was rightly stripped of his title and he should be forever banned from cycling or at least banned forever from the Tour de France. He is quite the moron and a very deserving inductee. So if you see Floyd Landis please congratulate him on his enshrinement and the honor of which that has been bestowed upon him.

Tiny Tim Tiptoes Through the Tulips

Today, in Sunday's Buffalo News, Your King happened to read a letter to the paper that was so moronic I just have to say something about it. The letter was about Buffalo Sabres center 'Tiny' Tim Connolly. Obviously the letter writer from Hamburg, and for the sake of protecting the ignorant I will call Ed Wrong, must have been watching a different Tim Connolly than the one everyone one else was watching. In the first paragraph of his letter Mr. Wrong berated Jerry Sullivan, a writer for the Buffalo News, who wants to see Tim Connolly dismissed from the team for being too soft. I happen to totally agree with Mr. Sullivan and I wish to see Tiny Tim on the first boat to China.
Mr. Wrong also stated that Mr. Sullivan said the same thing about Miroslav Satan when he was with the Sabres and we all know that when the going got tough Miro disappeared. Mr. Wrong, in trying to refute this, also states that Satan scored two game winning goals against the Sabres in this years playoffs. What Mr. Wrong does not state that since the bulk of the Sabres squad is soft to begin with Satan does not have to play with grit to be able to score. Anyone who watched the series was left shaking his head at the opportunities the softy Sabres gave Satan. He was never threatened as he neared the net. If he tried doing that against a team like the Flyers he would have ended up on the disabled list. But that would not have happened as Miro Satan would not have gone anywhere near the net. If a game was on the line Miro Satan made like Houdini and disappeared. Just like Tiny Tim Connolly.
Mr. Wrong states that Tiny Tim is a finesse player and one of the greatest stick handlers in the game. First of all finesse equals soft and the second part of that statement is just plain laughable. As I have said before Tiny Tim is one of the greatest Sabre penalty killers but the problem is that he only plays on the Sabres' power play. I remember one power play against the Capitals where he tried to stick handle into the Cap's zone three different times and was thwarted three different times. On the fourth attempt by Tiny Tim to stick handle into the Cap's zone he was stripped of the puck and that resulted in a Washington breakaway in which the player scored a shorthanded goal. Tiny Tim should have been awarded an assist on the play.
He mentions that he should be a very capable second or third line center. Hmm, for what the Sabres are paying this slug he should be a first line center. The crime is that Tiny Tim is making 4.5 million dollars a year and somehow he has not yet been arrested for Grand Larceny. ( Note: It would have only cost another 500 thousand dollars per year to keep Chris Drury) Anybody making that kind of money in the NHL should be able to play with some heart. Unfortunately Tiny Tim needs a heart transplant and not even the reformed Mr. Scrooge would pay for that.
The most moronic part of the letter states, and I quote: "Finally, how can a guy who has suffered multiple concussions and other injuries be considered "soft"?" Anyone who knows Tiny Tim's history knows the total moronica of this statement. He did not get his concussions from being tough. He got them from being stupid. Anyone who lowers his head while skating through the middle of the ice and then makes a cut is just asking to have his head removed. And that is what happened. I believe, and I may be wrong on about the name of the opposing player, Chris Neal, of the Ottawa Senators, eyes must have lit up like a Christmas Tree when Tiny Tim turned into is line of travel with his head down. The resulting hit left Tiny Tim's brains scrambled for almost a year. As I have said that is not being tough, its being stupid.
There were other letters to the editor in the paper today which pretty much agree with my feelings about the Sabre's overpaid softy. If the Sabres can unload Tiny Tim's contract on some moronic team it would free up cash to spend on a quality free agent with some grit. But knowing the Sabres they will keep Tiny Tim and the rest of the softies to break our hearts again next year. One of the few players with grit is Mike Grier and he is a free agent and will probably be allowed to walk. That figures. The teams that win are the teams that play with heart when it counts. Unfortunately Tiny Tim and the rest of the Sabres' Tin Men will always stand and watch other teams hoist the cup. Teams that play with heart. Maybe its time we hire the Wizard of Oz as the Sabres' next GM. He most certainly would be better than Darcy Regier.
All I can say to Mr. Wrong is to wake up and smell the coffee, visit the optometrist and re-watch all of the Sabre's games from this past season. In retrospect Tiny Tim may score a lot of points but they are mostly empty points and that is the difference.
Your King has spoken.

Its Deja Vu All Over Again

Last night Don Cherry's...I mean Claude Julien's Boston Bruins lost to the Montreal Canadiens... I mean the Philadelphia Flyers compliments of a 'too many men on the ice' penalty assessed to them late in the third period. Simon Gagne potted the winner during the gift power play with about seven minutes left in the game to cap one of the most remarkable comebacks, meltdowns if you are a Bruins fan, in any sports league history. In my eyes this even tops the Red Sox comeback against the Yanks a few years ago. Philly was down three games to zero against Boston as the tide turned when they won in overtime in game four. Winning the next two game set up a fantastic game seven in Boston last night.
The fans were soon going nuts after the home team took a 3-0 lead fourteen minutes into the game. In Philly's eyes 3-0 was nothing to worry about looking over the results of the last three games. They scored a fluke goal late in the first period that set the stage for their comeback in this game. Yogi Berra couldn't have written a better scrip for Boston's loss this time. Don Cherry lost his job over his bit of moronica back in 1979, so will this cost Claude Julien his job? Who knows. I just sat on my couch chuckling over this latest bit of moronica that I was witnessing. I hate to say that I was rooting for Philly in this game even though I cannot stand either team but since Boston knocked out my Sabres I wanted to see them launched from the playoffs. Now, in the next series, I am rooting for Montreal, who I can't thank enough for getting rid of the Pittsburgh Penguins, to make it to the finals as Philly has done what I wanted so it is now time for them to go.
The end of the game brought more smiles to my face as I watched the camera pan over some of the most sour pusses in the stands that you would ever want to see. I enjoyed every minute of their disappointment as being a Sabre fan I have known it all too frequently. Just seeing them sitting in stark disbelief as to what just unfolded in front of them will put a grin on my face when I think about it later on. Even more so than when I think about poor 'boo hoo' Sydney Crosby from the Penguins and his early golf season.
I still shake my head and laugh when I think about that penalty call. You just knew that Philly would capitalize on it and make my day. As I said it was Deja Vu all over again! Thanks again Philly but don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out after Montreal sends you packing.
Good day from Moronica!

Obama visits Western New York, Snubs Moronica

President Obama visited the city of Buffalo yesterday to do what presidents do when they visit, talk. As ruler of the Kingdom of Moronica I figured that since President Obama was finally going to be in the area he would stop by and pay a visit to your King. Well, I waited and waited yesterday and he never showed up. I even had the royal rug cleaned for the potential occasion. Instead, he spent his free time eating wings at Duff's in Buffalo in lieu of having a friendly chat with me. But then again I can see his point as he was probably weighing the difficult decision in his mind..Wings...King Dinglefritz...wings.....King Dinglefritz. I guess it was an easy choice for him once he got out from under the shadow of his wife's healthy menu regimen at the White House. I must say that I probably would have chosen wings over me too but I do have some pride.
I would have enjoyed a meeting with him. Hell, I would have ordered wings for delivery to my castle if I knew he was that into them. Good negotiations begin with a happy stomach I always believe. But no, it was not to be. He later flew down to New York City and then back home completely bypassing Moronica, your King snubbed. Oh well, maybe later. Hey, he can always invite me down to D.C as long as I can choose the menu for the state dinner. Michelle's healthy menu be damned!!

OUCH! That Had to Hurt!

It was a scene straight out of 'Slapshot' tonight during the Chicago vs. Vancouver hockey game. The only thing I could think of at the time it happened was when Coach Reggie Dunlop, played by Paul Newman, was yelling at his GM, who at the time was prepping a publicity advertisement, telling him to "show a groin injury". Well you have to feel for poor Sammy Salo of the Vancouver Canucks because Reggie Dunlop would have gotten his wish. With just micro-seconds before the end of the first period poor Sammy's nuts were the target of a Chicago player's slapshot. The shot must have shattered his cup as he went down like he was shot. I could feel the poor guy's pain as he was writhing on the ice. OMG, it even hurt when they showed the replay in slow motion. The announcers did not even have the 'balls' to tell us where he was hit by just saying 'he was hit in the midsection'. Anyone with two eyes could tell exactly where the puck hit after watching the slo-mo replay.
Playing goal in collegiate soccer I have been nailed there before making saves but the cup has always saved me. Now a soccer ball is not a hockey puck as a soccer ball's force is spread over a larger area than a puck AND the puck is moving at a much greater velocity.
Now poor Sammy, after spending a considerable amount of time lying in pain on the ice, could not even straighten himself out when he was finally helped off the ice. He was later taken to a local hospital still bent over while sitting in a wheelchair. I just cannot imagine the pain this poor guy was in. It brought back memories of poor baseball catcher Carlton Fisk when one day his cup shifted as a ball was fouled back off the ground and into his petunias. He ended up having one of his petunias removed. Now that had to hurt!
I wish Sammy Salo a quick recovery and I hope that everything still works properly for him.

Tidbits from Moronica

1) Boy has the weather here in Moronica taken a nasty turn today. The Royal Courtyard is a complete mess thanks to the high winds. Bits and pieces from my trees are all over the place. I am so looking forward to cleaning this mess up...NOT! The temperature has fallen like a rock since 3:00 p.m. and there is a threat of flurries later. UGH! At least we had a decent lightning show last night to enjoy. The week ahead looks like it may be cool and crappy. So much for the great spring we have had so far.
2) Well, my Royal Back is now out of whack. I felt the sucker go last Tuesday evening when I was doing some work around the house. I have not enjoyed the last few days and it looks like I will not be able to defend my win last week on the golf course tomorrow, but then again maybe it is a blessing in disguise..I won't have to play in the cold and the wind...but then again I would rather play as my game finally seems to be coming back. I had six pars and no 'X' holes and that is a big step in the right direction. Hopefully next week, if my aching back cooperates, I can get out and play nine quick holes before next weekend.
3) My Royal Chef had the day off, well I really do not have a chef as it is just me in the kitchen. Today, for the first time in a long time I made some lasagna. My last batch was not a good one as the sauce I used, a high quality store bought sauce, sucked so I decided to make my own by tweaking my spaghetti sauce recipe a bit. The lasagna came out much better than before. Even Prince Spoiled Brat cleaned his plate off. But the sauce needs another tweak and I cannot put my finger on what to tweak and that is not like me. I can usually figure out what to do to make it even better, like I did with my chowder recipe, but this fix escapes me for now. But still it was good.
4) Last Saturday I went, incognito of course, to the Rochester Rhinos home opener against the Carolina Railhawks. The Rhinos appreciated my visit and put me right in the front row behind the team bench and they honored my royal request not to be announced as attending. The Rhinos played well and should have won but, again, the refereeing in this league is spotty at best. It frustrates me to see a referee make such a brutal call on a slide tackle that gets all ball but the moron still awarded a penalty kick. The Rhinos were up 1-0 at the time and they could have played until midnight and Carolina would never have scored but thanks to the moron ref they get a gift, cashed it in and people wonder why they cannot draw more fans to a nice new soccer stadium. It is the refereeing! This team gets screwed by the referees in this league every chance they get. It gets to be so frustrating to watch knowing at some point during the game the ref will make a call that is so brutal as to put people off. It sure put me off. Also, listening to the coach talk to his players on the bench when the Rhinos were having a rough stretch made me think I was back on the golf course. I always thought the golf course was where I heard that type of language.
5) Well, the weekend has come to where it has become official. The Queen has officially left me for the Burger King. Truth is that it really does not bother me all that much as she is the Burger King's problem now. We were too much like oil and vinegar but she could have been more truthful about the situation instead of telling me at the beginning there was NOT another guy when in fact that was not the case. Certain things that I have done since then I would not have done if I had known the truth. But hey, I am still young and handsome, well then again, maybe not so young and it has been pointed out from previous comments on this blog, not so handsome. As soon as school is over Prince Spoiled Brat becomes, well then again since she is still with royalty, Prince Spoiled Brat and will move into Burger Heaven with his mother. But the thing that really gets me is that she has the Royal Mutt. I miss the mutt but it is better for the mutt to be there as there will be more people in that house for her. Her breed is a people breed and with only me in the castle it would have been hard on her. But I really do miss her... a lot more than I will miss my ex-queen. 'Nuf said.
6) Lastly I would like to offer an honorary Moronican citizenship to Mr. Bill, and I hope he accepts it. We may differ in certain points of view, and I look forward to our future debates, but I do know a nice guy when I see him and Mr. Bill seems like a good egg worthy of this honor. I hope he accepts my offer.
Well, that's the way it is Saturday May 8, 2010, This is King Dinglefritz of Moronica wishing you all a pleasant evening.

The Moronic Circus has left Albany...Temporarily

Just when you think things cannot get any worse in Albany things happen that just leave you shaking your head. First and foremost we are now one month without a working budget for this silly state yet our beloved legislature decided to leave town. Whatever happened to staying on the job until the job is done. Not the morons in Albany. I guess trying to solve a 9.2 billion dollar deficit is not that important. Silly me. But this is only the tip of the iceberg.
Our favorite turncoat in the state senate, Democrat Pedro Espada, has now been hit with a second lawsuit from Attorney General Andrew Cuomo. This guy is a peach as it looks like, per the first lawsuit, he has been bilking lots of money from his own health clinic. The second lawsuit alleges that Pedro created a sham job training program at his company. Also, he has also pretty much hired his family into positions in his office..Again charity begins at home. Lets hope that the citizens of Bronx vote this slug out at the next election and his next job is at South of the Border in South Carolina.
Speaking of slugs lets hear it for Senator Kevin Parker, a Democrat from Brooklyn. He was heard on a radio show Wednesday morning calling his Senate Republicans colleagues "long term white supremacists". It all originated when, during a Senate finance committee meeting, they were interviewing a black candidate and, for some reason, Mr. Parker went batty. This guy is also facing assault charges involving a New York Post photographer. Sounds like Kevin needs anger management counseling.
More dysfunction was on display in Albany this past week as a report from the state's inspector general said that Lee Kyriacou, the former executive director of the state Office of Real Property Services was accused of using his staff to handle family errands. I wonder if he had them mow his yard too.
Truer words were never spoken when Senator Stephen Saland, a Republican from Poughkeepsie, said of the state Capitol "This is truly a bizarre place to be." Bizarre indeed. You would think with the extra eyes that have been placed on our beloved state government lately crap like this would not happen yet it continues to spew from Albany.
Other things that drive me nuts is the continuing ways this state is trying siphon more money out of our pockets. Boy, I just cannot wait for that soda tax to be enacted. I guess I will have to quit my "Coke" habit. Another tidbit from our idiot governor is the fact that he wants Supermarkets to be able to sell wine. The fees from this would put hundreds of millions of dollars into the states coffers while putting hundreds of liquor stores out of business. Paterson says that to counter that he would let liquor stores start selling snacks. Who in hell would go to a liquor store to buy snacks??? Some trade off.
Why can't these morons find a way to cut spending instead of robbing us?? Oh that's right, those sweetheart contracts with the state employee union and the teacher's union that are giving those people big raises in our time of financial trouble. Raises that the Unions say are untouchable. These Unions are real team players and what should happen is that some of their 'teammates' will end up walking the street because of this hard line stance. I think it is time for Buttercup to suck it up for a year and forgo their raises. These people all make a great buck and have fantastic benefits which, of course, are paid for from the pockets of all New York State residents in the form of high taxes. At least Governor Paterson is trying his best by holding back as much of these raises as he can but boy has the crying and lawsuit filing started. YEEEHAH!!!
Once again I am advocating that we vote ALL of these idiots out of office and start fresh. What we need, when it comes to redistricting after the census, is that the district lines should be drawn properly as too many Albany politicians get far too comfortable. The districts are drawn up so that republicans and democrats always seem to be able to get re-elected without working for it. Nothing like a bit of gerrymandering among friends now, eh?
What more can I say? Our state government is an embarrassment to us all. The world laughs at us. Even Greece is in better financial shape than we are. Maybe Eliot Spitzer did his prostitute bit deliberately hoping that he would get caught, and be forced to resign, because he could see this coming down the tunnel like an out of control freight train. Nah, as what could be worse than a pissed off wife???
Well, enough is enough for tonight. Even the King of Moronica gets tired of the constant flow of moronica that spews from Albany. I can only take so much. Its about time we all told Albany that in the form of voting the bums out this November.
And remember, though I may not always drink beer, but when I do, I drink Dos Equis. Stay thirsty my friends!!

King Wins!! King Wins!!

Well it finally happened. Today in golf, at Livingston Country Club, your King finally started showing flashes of his former self before his exile from the game due to a foolish marriage. Using the modified D'Aprile scoring system I ended up at plus four today and finished first collecting fifty clams. The fifty was immediately reduced as I happily bought a round for all involved at the nineteenth hole. The funny thing is that I still left plenty of points out on the course A lipped putt here, a ball sailing out of bounds there cost me some points but I still had enough good holes to post my first positive round of the year. I ended up shooting a 94 but my score really did not indicate how well I was striking the ball for the most part. For the ball that went out of bounds I still crushed it but I was playing a fade off the tee...it didn't fade but my score for that hole did.
The modified D'Aprile scoring system gives one point for a bogey, two for a par, four for a birdie, six for an eagle and there are no minus points. My rounds lately have taken full advantage of the no minus points as I have had some memorably bad holes this year.
My round was strange today. I parred the three toughest holes on the course, seven, ten and seventeen but the easier holes still confound me. If I can solve that I may become unbeatable, well at least until my point number gets too high for me to reach. Today my par score, per the modified D'Aprile system, was twelve and I reached sixteen giving me a plus four. My par score has now been moved up to fourteen as you par score goes up one point for every three points you go above your score, and minus one for every three points you are below your score. I also get an extra point tacked on because I won. What is funny is that I reached my point total of twelve after the tenth hole and then I died. For five holes I seemed to return to golfing like an idiot. I took good scoring opportunities and turned them into crappola as only I can do. Then my fortune changed on the par five sixteenth hole. I hit a perfect drive three hundred yards down the middle of the fairway and then I took out my trusty seven wood, which never slices, in an attempt to reach the green in two. Well my seven wood decided it wanted to slice this time and the ball was sailing towards the cornfield and out of bounds. Then the hand of God reached out in the form of a tree and swatted my ball back into the rough. I guess at that point the golf gods finally felt pity on this poor fool and gave me a break. I still ended up bogeying the hole but it ended a stretch of five holes, four of which are actually easy to score points on, without a point. It just finally feels good to take a week off from playing golf like a moron. At least I got to play on Saturday this weekend unlike Tiger. LOL!!! This is your King wishing all of his readers, and I do mean all, a fantastic weekend!!

Moronica in the Gulf

Well, the worst case scenario has happened in the Gulf of Mexico. A BP oil well blew up and now thousands upon thousands of barrels of continually leaking oil is in the process of turning the Gulf of Mexico into the floor of a badly kept Auto repair shop. The cause of this disaster is still unknown and is threatening to make the Exxon Valdez disaster in Alaska look like a minor oil leak. Men have died, shrimp fishing grounds are ruined and pristine beaches and not going to be so pristine anymore. What a shame.
Back in the 2008 election, and I know I am going to hear about this, the Republican mantra for solving our oil problems was to drill, baby, drill. Both John McCain and Sarah Palin espoused this mantra in their campaign. They wanted to open up unspoiled areas in Alaska, Florida and anywhere else where there may be a barrel or two of oil to be found for drilling. We can now see where this policy would have led us if enacted without protective regulations. Even President Obama has now loosened the noose to allow drilling in certain areas that have been off limits.
While we do need new sources of oil we have to do it smartly. Certain groups of people do not want to do things the way countries in Europe do. Why is that? Here is a perfect case in point of why we should look at Europe for ideas to better our nation. Norway, for example, does not allowing offshore drilling UNLESS the rig is equipped with a shutoff valve at the base of the pipeline before it enters the ground. We in the United States do not. Why is that? Why are we not smart enough to take these steps to prevent a disaster like the one that is now occurring in the Gulf. A shut off valve would have been triggered and the oil leak would have been stopped, but NOOOOO!!! Heaven forbid that the oil companies spend some of their billions in profits to protect us against situations like this but that would mean government interference of the oil company's right to pollute our lands and seas. We can't have that now can we. Heaven forbid we have a regulation that requires all offshore rigs to have a shutoff valve in case of a disaster. Since they do it in Europe we cannot do it here because we cannot adopt anything European as that would mean we might start leaning towards becoming a more socialist type nation. And again we cannot have that.
Again certain groups have been clamoring to open up areas for drilling that are now off limits. We cannot have this until steps are taken to protect the environment from accidents like this. Areas of the Gulf will now be polluted for years and the total extent of the damage has yet to be calculated as the leak is nowhere near under control at this time. Shutoff valves must be required on all new rigs and older rigs need to be retrofitted with them immediately. So it reduces an oil companies profit from 15 billion dollars down to 14 billion dollars for a year. So what? We deserve to have our environment protected so that we can enjoy it and so can the animal life of the area without fear of something like this ruining it for all. Is it too much of a price to pay for this protection? I do not believe so and the government should take immediate steps to prevent this from happening again. The right of an oil company to ruin our environment is a right I would gladly like to see taken away.
So sayeth your King.