I find it very funny that one of the worst teams in the NFL for the last five or so weeks of the regular season has made it to the Super Bowl. As the King of the Moronica and all things moronic I have always rooted for the underdogs to succeed when they had a chance to. Ever since I was a little snot nosed kid I liked the Bills, Saints and most any other team that sucked eggs for what seemed to be an eternity and this includes the ever so rotten Arizona Cardinals. I even root for the Columbus Blue Jackets in hockey as they seem to be requesting eternal citizenship in Moronica. I must be a glutton for punishment as I detest the teams that constantly win and flaunt it like the Patriots, Cowboys, Yankees, Lakers and, of course, this years AFC super bowl entry the Pittsburgh Steelers. I could not stand Bradshaw, Harris, Swann and the 'Steel Curtain" from their teams of the seventies, though Joe Greene did move up a few spots in my heart with his famous Coca Cola commercial. I chuckled when Jim Haslett stepped on Bradshaw's head, though he did get ejected for it, and I enjoyed it even more when they showed it in slow motion. I even bought Jim and his pals a pitcher of beer when I ran into him at the Hummers Inn after a Sabre game, though I did not tell him it was in honor of his famous stomp.
There are some teams that I cannot stand due to their geographical location. Any team based in New York City(and that includes any NYC team that plays in NJ) runs afoul in the land of Moronica. The Yankees stink, the Mets blow, the Rangers suck ice and so on. Also, any team based in New England sucks eggs too. The Patriots stink, The Bruins stank and the Celtics stunk(with apologies to the Grinch).
There are some teams that I cannot stand due to the sport in which they play...as in Baseball. Whenever I am tired and need a quick nap I check the channels and see if there is a baseball game on. If so, I turn it on and in five minutes or less I am in the Land of Nod. Baseball players are the greediest sacks of garbage this side of the planet Mars. The money they get for playing this stupid game equates to the crime of the century. I applaud the fact that the greediest of all, Manny Ramirez, has not been signed yet(his agent, Scott Boras, is a candidate for induction into the Moronica Hall of Fame). I guess even the moronic baseball general managers sometimes have a sense of what is right. Maybe there should be a rule in this country where no pro athlete can make more than the President of the United States. NO athlete, especially a baseball player, should be paid more than the president and it does not matter who is in office. I can sort of live with the fact that football and hockey players may be allowed an exception to this rule due to the punishing nature of their sports. Where is the punishment in baseball? Its pitch and catch and once in a while some idiot gets a stick on the ball. The only modern baseball player worth his salt was Cal Ripken as he never begged off saying "I'm so 'tired'..I need a day off" ala Manny Ramirez. What if other people in areas of importance shared that view of their jobs. I can see it now...'Mr. President...The Canadians have just invaded Montana you need to do something now'...."Sorry, but today I am tired today and I am taking the day off so go talk to the Vice President.' I could write a paragraph or two about basketball, ugh, but my finger is getting tired.
I have a lot of respect for hockey players, Sean Avery excluded, as it takes a lot of balls to play a game in which every player has a 'Ginsu knife' on the bottom of each foot. I am amazed there are not more serious injuries from skate cuts due to the speed in which they have to play at in this game. Getting conked on the noggin from sticks is far less of a factor since they finally adopted the helmet rule years ago. I still am amazed that goalies actually played without masks for so long. Now they have a rule that if the mask comes off the goalie during play they whistle the play dead immediately...Gump Worsley must be rolling in his grave over this rule but it is a good rule.
In conclusion, the Kingdom of Moronica fully backs the Cardinals as they strive to prove they they are the best team in the league. They management of the team have been honorary members of the Kingdom of Moronica for so long that its puts tears in the old King's eyes to see them playing for the championship. Lets hope they bring the Lombardi Trophy back to Moronica where it belongs.
No comments:
Post a Comment