Economy Recovering? I Doubt it.

I pride myself on being well read and after reading all of the stuff in the newspaper about the economy turning the corner I decided to call my friend Santa Claus again to get the real lowdown as how Santa goes so goes the economy. Besides, who believes government officials anyways as they all lie or spin it to the max. My first attempt to call him at his workshop was answered by a machine that said the the shop was temporarily closed and will reopen shortly...not a good sign. I then tried Santa's cell phone and found him, surprisingly in Washington D.C., and here is a synopsis of the conversation:
"Hi Santa, Its your friend King Dinglefritz again calling you on the economy. I tried the workshop but its closed, whats up? "
"Oh, hi Dingle, its good to hear from you again. Yes, I closed the shop for six weeks this summer due to a lack of work. I furloughed the elves, the few that I have left, and told them to report back on September 20th. By then I should have enough orders in place to keep them busy until the big day."
"Santa, why are you in Washington?"
"I was hoping to get to see President Obama to try to get a small piece of the funds available in the stimulus package so I could bring happiness to the world and bring all of my elves back to work."
"You tried to get a part of the bailout before last year but you couldn't because you are not a citizen of the U.S. "
"That is right Dingle but I was hoping that, with a new person in charge, I would have better luck. I was going to say that it would be in the best interests of the United States, and the world, if they were to grant me some funds. Can you think of a better way to improve the United State's image in the world than to help me bring happiness in this time of gloom and doom? I can't think of any so I tried to get in to see him but.."
"What happened?"
" I stopped at the White House and tried to see him but this big dummy in dark glasses and a black suit would not let me into the Oval Office. I said 'I am Santa Claus and I am here to see the President' and he said snidely 'Well Santa, I am the Grinch and you are not going in'. I took a small step forward and before I knew it I was set upon from behind by a couple of his goon friends and beaten up."
"You have to be kidding me Santa, Couldn't they tell it was you just by looking at you?"
"You would think that but that still didn't stop them. That were actually enjoying beating this jolly, fat old man up until they finally had me tied up in knots and escorted out. I will tell you this though that boy are they in for a surprise come December 25th. I will have something special for them...the louses"
"Are you still going to try to see the President?"
"Yes. I need to get my shop back up and running at full speed with all of my elves as there seems to be so little joy and happiness in the world these days and maybe, just maybe, ol' Saint Nick can do something about it. With a full crew I can crank out the goodies and make a lot of people happier than they would have been without me."
"They already booted you out once, how do you expect to get in?"
"Ho, Ho Ho there Dingle, you forget that I am Santa and I have my own special way of getting into places where I need to get to, ho ho ho."
"Heh, heh, heh that is true Santa, oh so true."
"I am actually going to try to see him again later today. Wish me luck."
"Good luck Santa. I wish you only success!"
"I will need it. I hope this guy is a better listener than the other one. The other one had some balding, old white guy walking around the place with a shotgun claiming he was the Vice President. I had to be wary of him."
"So do his friends, Santa, so do his friends. Can I call you back in a couple of days to see how you made out?"
"Dingle, you can call me anytime, well almost anytime. I hope to have some kind of answer by the end of the week. Take care Dingle."
"Good bye Santa and good luck."
Hopefully Santa will have better luck this time trying to see the president. With unemployment still climbing too many people cannot afford to have a good Christmas this year and that is so sad. Maybe a few bucks from the government can go a long way to put people, well elves, back to work and a little happiness that would be the end result from their efforts. It would be money well spent for a change.