Well, it took almost four months of playing golf in my little Sunday morning league but your King finally pulled off the impossible and won this past Sunday. I finally broke ninety with an eighty-nine, that could have and should have been an eighty-two or so, for the day. The front nine was a roller coaster with a couple of birds and a number of the dreaded others while the back nine was a more consistent effort and the only hole I did not score a point on was number ten where I had to count a whiff I, honest guy that I am, had trying to hit the ball out from under a stupid bush. I ended up with a double bogey on that hole with that being the only blemish on an otherwise nice back nine ending up with a score of forty three. Back to the front nine...what an adventure. I finally parred number one, which is actually an easy hole when played correctly, and birdied number two. On two, a two hundred yard par three, I was off the green by about ten to fifteen feet and used my seven iron to chip-putt and promptly drained that chip dead nuts right to the center of the flag stick. One under after two, not bad! Three was nondescript but the fun began on number four, a par five that I should handle easily, as I promptly sent my tee shot somewhere over the trees and through the woods aiming for Grandma's house. Never found that one as I think it ended up wet as I crushed it and it probably ended up in the pond on three. After playing the hole like a keystone cop I ended up with a nine, a great score in Baccarat but not in golf. Hole number five, a dogleg left par four, was a carbon copy of hole number two as I was just off the green after two. I was on the fringe but the fringe was very undulating so I could not putt the silly thing and chip-putted with a seven iron again. Bang right into the hole again for a birdie and four big points! Hole number six is usually one of my strongest holes as it is a par five that I can easily reach in two. The drive was long but into the rough on the left side of the fairway. Then I took out my seven wood and crushed it but, as I do have a tendency to align myself incorrectly at times, I sent it right back towards Grandma's house. Grandma was not happy with that effort as I ended up with a double bogey. Holes seven and eight were doubles as well as Dingle the Butcher showed up again. Nine was a better effort though I did snatch a bogey out of the jaws of a par by using my wedge instead of my seven iron in the grass around the green. It was upsetting to be where I was as I landed my ball four feet from the pin and it just went BOING instead of sticking which is surprising as I hit the ball very high, high enough to bring rain but not this Sunday as it was gorgeous. I ended up with a forty-six for the front nine and the score it could have, and should have, been irks me to no end.
I am sure that I bore anyone and everyone who reads about my golf adventures but I just cannot bring myself to write about politics and the sheer moronica that it continues to provide. I am just so happy to be playing regularly again, despite the best efforts of my Queen to bankrupt us. At least I can provide some humor with the continued adventures of my tree wood and my fishing wedge. My Queen now has an omelet maker so there may be another attempt on my life via that route and if I survive I am sure to write about that.
Bowling season is soon to start so I may have some very funny things to write about that, especially since I have not picked up the ball, except to move it, since April. At least the lanes will not have ponds, trees and bunkers to make my life miserable but, then again, at the place where I bowl the lanes do have bunkers, lane four has a nice bunker in the heads that you have to avoid, and the occasional pond when it rains. It will be interesting to see if they have made any improvements to that den of Moronica, and MHOF member, called Spencerport Lanes this summer. I am not holding out any hopes of that however as the only way that place will be improved is if they raze it.
Well that's enough of my bombastic crappola for today. Please check again for more royal rantings from the Palace soon.
PS: What has happened to my Pumas(U.N.A.M.) in the Mexican Soccer League? They have scored one goal in six games and if they continue to play as badly as they are they will be relegated to the second division next season and I probably will never see them again. The really funny thing is that they are playing in the Champions League as they had a very good season last year. What in hell happened to them this off season???
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