Sunday, October 25, 2009

King vs. Leaves and Other Moronic Things

1) Well yesterday was the nightmare that I thought it was going to be. Mother nature threw her best shot at your King and left him very weak in the knees. I raked my back yard and nearly died doing it. I could not believe the number of piles I had to drag out on the tarp to the road. I believe I ended up with fourteen tarp fulls. The previous record was, maybe, nine. Plus, to make matters worse, they were wet from the rain that fell on Friday. Ugh. This leads to #2.
2) Prince Spoiled Brat showed up during my raking looking rather ugly. Your King asked him to help out with the raking and the look I got, man, he looked at me like I had a bad case of the swine flu. He said no and went on in. Now, compounding the crime I had a fish dinner left over in the fridge that I was looking forward to eating after I finished raking. Prince Brat took care of that as I went to the fridge, after four hours of very hard work a very hungry King and found all that was left of my fish dinner was the Cole slaw. The fries and the fish vanished. Prince Spoiled Brat made short work of them. THEN he has the audacity to ask me for five dollars for him to go out with for the night. Now, if he had helped me it would have been no problem but between his lack of help AND devouring my fish dinner, well the answer to his request was a no brainer---ask your mother for it, this bank is closed for the day. The absolute nerve of the Prince.
3) Your King fibbed when he said that he put his clubs away for the year. I went out and played today and actually walked the course. Maybe I should have put them away for the year as I played probably the worst round of the year. My arms were dead from the massive raking from yesterday but I still managed to have fun which is what it is all about. I hit a couple of very nice shots and that was about it. My shot from behind a tree on eight would have made Sergio proud but I did not have the strength to run down the fairway to watch it like he did. That was definitely my last round until spring. I wished my buddies a great winter and told them I was looking forward to Spring. Hopefully next year I will play better as I really did not play much good golf this year. I did have one major problem though. I was squeezing the old butt cheeks for the last two holes as I felt my intestines rumbling and grumbling. I knew I was in big time trouble but I knew that there was a bathroom behind the eighteenth hole so I quickly putted out and ran to the toilet...just my luck it was closed for the season. So I squeezed harder walking down eighteen and made a mad dash for the restroom after completing my round. Not to be disgusting but your King did leave the room uninhabitable.
4) In one of the political mailings I received yesterday I read something that I have to remark about. It said that 'Steve Tucciarello will deliver NO property tax increase in the 2010 County Budget'. Man that guy must have some stroke in the County Council in order to personally do this himself. I wonder what Maggie and the rest of the council were doing at the time Steve did this. Anyone capable of doing this himself has my vote. It reminds me of Albania's leader Enver Hoxha standing up to Nikita Kruschev during one meeting way back when. But we all knew that ol' Enver had no stroke when it came to dealing with the ol' USSR.
5) I cannot bring myself to spend a whole blog on this subject today so here goes. The Bills won. The defense played very well and Free Safety Jairus Byrd looks like a great draft pick for the Bills. He has five interceptions already and its not even halfway into his rookie year. The Bills have nine picks in the last two games and that is impressive. BUT the offensive continues to be very stinky. They did very well to convert turnovers into points but really did not have any great drives. Fitzpatrick was very ordinary but that was still better than the usual Trent Edwards show. The pass to Evans for the touchdown was a rifle job. It was impossible for Lee Evans to drop that ball as it was lodged deeply into his navel. The running game has been abysmal since the return of Marshawn Lynch. The Bills ran it much better without him and it seems that Mr. Mind needs to play Fred Jackson more. Still, it was nice to see Mr. Mind actually moving and breathing on the sidelines for a change. But then again, as we get closer to Halloween, zombies do come to life at this time of year. The countdown now stands at tee minus nine games and counting until Mr. Mind gets launched. The last two games notwithstanding.
Well, its time to go watch the last game of the night. Your King has had a busy weekend and it is time to relax. Good night.

No comments: