Wednesday, November 18, 2009

King vs. Man vs. Food

Your King just finished watching the Travel Channel's Man vs. Food show and I am royally jealous of Adam Richman. All this guy does is travel around the United States eating at different restaurants and taking on various food challenges in his one half hour show every Wednesday night. As you know from previous entries I love crab, lots of crab, especially King Crab. In this episode Adam traveled to Anchorage Alaska to take on the Kodiak Arrest Challenge. This is a challenge where he had to eat a seven course dinner totaling over six pounds of food in an hour and a half and the featured course was three pounds of King Crab. The other stuff looked good but the crab, oh my god, it was the largest most succulent crab I have ever seen. I just sat there on my couch saying "I want that" over and over. My Queen just shook her head and went back into the bedroom. I guess she did not want to see me drool.
Now this is a job your King should have gotten as I love to eat. Why I was not asked to interview for it I will never know. Maybe it was my lack of charm and personality but that hasn't stopped me before. I can eat crab with the best of them. I will take on all comers in any king crab eating challenge there is. Just get the drawn butter ready and lots of it. When its comes to crab everyone says I am an expert because I am one. Me, the King of Moronica a crab??? I wonder why anyone would think I could possibly be a crab since I have such a bubbly personality. Right. At times I make the Grinch look like a heartwarming soul, but lets not digress.
Now, your King has some king crab stuffed away in the freezer but not enough for a good dinner, yet. However, Prince Spoiled Brat spotted it and now has his eyes set on it too. Luckily he is too lazy and does not know how to prepare it or I am sure it would have been long gone long ago. The crab would have been history just like my TV dinners that I squirreled away for a rainy day a while back. It must have rained one day while I was out and the Prince took advantage and wiped them out. My biggest mistake a couple of years ago was turning the Prince into a king crab fan. Luckily the Queen still refuses to try it and I will NOT press her on this issue anymore just in case. I could not afford another lover of king crab.
Now they are showing Adam eating a king sized burger. I have to stop now as I dare not drool into the keyboard. Have a nice evening. Your King.

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