Wednesday, May 20, 2009
I have returned
Your King of Moronica has taken a well needed vacation to recharge his creative juices. I will soon report on my visit to the Hungarian delegation to Myrtle Beach which will result in continued peace between Moronica and Hungary. I am sure to have something to say about everybody's favorite liberal idiot Nancy Pelosi who, by the way, makes Sergeant Schultz look like he knew everything. We shall examine our new baseball 'roid buddies in Manny and A-Roid. We may even take a look at T.O. in Buffalo who brings a new level of excitement to this moribund franchise. Can he save Mr. Mind's (Dick Jauron's) job? Keep your eyes peeled for future blogs! Tell your friends the King is back!!
Monday, March 30, 2009
Climatic Change and Global Warming
Sometimes King Dinglefritz would like to change his focus and expound upon a serious subject. Today's subject is climate change, and in particular global warming. I have a BA in Geography, a minor in Geology and a concentration in Environmental Studies from SUNY Geneseo so I am no dummy in this area. This blog is in response to an essay by fellow blogster "Repoman" whose blog I follow and enjoy to the extent a left leaning middle of the road person can. While I agree with the first two full paragraphs and the first sentence of the third of what he wrote I disagree with the a lot of the rest of his essay. He is concerned that taking dramatic steps to prevent global warming will reduce our standard of living. Well, if Al Gore and the scientists that he supports are correct then doing nothing will reduce our standard of living even more. What happens if the climate changes in a way that people cannot continue to thrive in areas in which they do now? What happens if the monsoon in India stops and its winds do not bring the much needed seasonal rain? What happens if the breadbasket of our country turns into a desert? What happens to our beaches when the warming Earth's icecaps melt and oceans rise? What happens if the Gulf Stream gets cut off by the cold Labrador current thereby denying the northern Hemisphere of its moderating influence? These are questions that may be faced if we continue to pump greenhouse gases into our atmosphere at an alarming rate.
Lets look at the three biggest greenhouse gases there are. The first is Carbon Dioxide and one only has to look at the planet Venus to see what too much of this gas can do. The planet's surface swelters at 900 degrees because the gas lets infrared radiation in but does not let it out. It acts as a blanket. Let me make an example of this using an everyday thing that people use...a car. Lets say that a car with its windows down is the atmosphere of the earth before man started using fossil fuels and pumping CO2 into the atmosphere. As more gas gets pumped into the air the windows start rolling up until it reaches a point where the heat builds up more quickly than it can escape. We have all opened a car door on a hot day in the summer when the windows have been up. We have all felt that blast of hot air that is released when that door is opened. This is the gas we have the most control over its release into our atmosphere.
The second greenhouse gas is water vapor. All you have to do is walk outside on a clear, crisp winter night. It gets damn cold out there. It gets nowhere near as cold when it is cloudy out and why is that? Water vapor holds in heat just as well, if not better than CO2. If the Earth heats up from more CO2 in it's air then it is inevitable that the rate of evaporation increases too as a warmer atmosphere can hold more water vapor in it.
The third greenhouse gas is methane. We have all had a chuckle at the cow tax proposed but while I do not support a cow tax this is one mean greenhouse gas. I would bet either Rush Limbaugh or Nancy Pelosi can pump more greenhouse gases through their mouths and butts than the average cow. It would behoove us to keep its release into the atmosphere at a minimum. BUT, this is the gas that we probably have the least control of as the earth creates its own methane through the decay of organic materials, especially in the ocean.
Repoman goes on by having us look at some charts. Well, anyone can make a chart read what they want it to read so it does not matter whether you are for it or against it. I could make a chart that makes Oprah Winfrey look thin but that would be altering the facts to fit what I want you to believe.
Repoman also states that the Earth goes through climatic cycles of warmth and cooling. I totally agree with this statement. Recently the Earth has gone through a couple of cooling cycles. The first of three examples in recent history I will write about is called the 'Maunder Minimum'. It lasted for a period of a little over 50 years from the late 1600s to the early 1700s when sunspot activity on the sun was at an extreme minimum. The Earth's climate went haywire. There were terrible droughts and extremely severe winters in the northern hemisphere during this period. Second, In 1815 Mt. Tambora in Indonesia blew its top, it made Mt St. Helens look like a little firecracker in comparison, and 1816 became known as the year without a summer. Crops failed and there was snow on the ground year round in areas. Third, Mt Pinatubo's blast in the early 90s brought Earth's global temperature down by over a degree Celsius for a couple of years. You could see a pink aura around the sun for a couple of years from the aerosols pumped into the stratosphere by this blast until they finally dissipated. As you can see a lot of the recent cooling cycles can be explained naturally but the overall trend is towards a warmer climate. Our climate is just like the stock market with ups and downs but the overall course is upwards (at least we all hope when it comes to our 401ks).
Even the Earth's axis has a natural wobble that in the course of its meanderings affects our climate in ways that we have only begun to understand. The Earth has been in a warming cycle for the past 11,000 years since the last ice age ended but lately the warming has been exaggerated. Is man the cause of this?? This question must be answered before it is too late.
We do not need a multi billion dollar carbon tax. What we need is to recoup some of the money being thrown away at AIG, our banks, the car industry and a war that we never should have gotten ourselves mixed into and devote some of that cash into the development of cheaper technology to control greenhouse gas emissions. I know people do not want the government to get bigger than it already is and I agree with that but in this case it should get involved. The government can create jobs in this field by employing people once better technology is developed to go to various industries and help them convert to lower emission systems that could be develped using the money that is being thrown away at this time. The companies would not have to spend their money to do this. Hell, if we are going to get taxed I would like to see the money spent wisely.
In Conclusion, I agree there should be debate. Both sides must be heard and answers must be found. If the naysayers are right and we do nothing and we will be fine. If the naysayers are right and we take steps to reduce the crap we put into our atmosphere we are left with a better planet. If the global warming advocates are right and we do nothing, well I do not want to think of what would be the result of this scenario. If global warming advocates are right and we start taking steps to reduce emissions, in the hope that we can reduce it before we get past the point of no return, we can prevent a catastrophe. This reminds me of the movie "When Worlds Collide" when the scientists present their ideas at the UN in regards to the upcoming collision with the star Bellus. One group claims that the Earth will collide with this star while the other group calls them a bunch of attention seeking crackpots saying the Earth will survive what will be a close encounter. The group for the collision started building a spaceship to reach a planet circling the rogue star and when it was too late the other side agreed that the collision was imminent but there was not time for them to do anything. Does this sound familiar?????
Repoman speaks of taking irretrievable steps. Most any step the Government can take is reversible. The only irretrievable step is to do nothing if the global warming advocates are right. Carbon taxes can be rescinded if passed. People dying from starvation can not.
The choice is clear.... we can do something to help ourselves now or do nothing... and face obliteration....with my apologies to Klaatu.
Lets look at the three biggest greenhouse gases there are. The first is Carbon Dioxide and one only has to look at the planet Venus to see what too much of this gas can do. The planet's surface swelters at 900 degrees because the gas lets infrared radiation in but does not let it out. It acts as a blanket. Let me make an example of this using an everyday thing that people use...a car. Lets say that a car with its windows down is the atmosphere of the earth before man started using fossil fuels and pumping CO2 into the atmosphere. As more gas gets pumped into the air the windows start rolling up until it reaches a point where the heat builds up more quickly than it can escape. We have all opened a car door on a hot day in the summer when the windows have been up. We have all felt that blast of hot air that is released when that door is opened. This is the gas we have the most control over its release into our atmosphere.
The second greenhouse gas is water vapor. All you have to do is walk outside on a clear, crisp winter night. It gets damn cold out there. It gets nowhere near as cold when it is cloudy out and why is that? Water vapor holds in heat just as well, if not better than CO2. If the Earth heats up from more CO2 in it's air then it is inevitable that the rate of evaporation increases too as a warmer atmosphere can hold more water vapor in it.
The third greenhouse gas is methane. We have all had a chuckle at the cow tax proposed but while I do not support a cow tax this is one mean greenhouse gas. I would bet either Rush Limbaugh or Nancy Pelosi can pump more greenhouse gases through their mouths and butts than the average cow. It would behoove us to keep its release into the atmosphere at a minimum. BUT, this is the gas that we probably have the least control of as the earth creates its own methane through the decay of organic materials, especially in the ocean.
Repoman goes on by having us look at some charts. Well, anyone can make a chart read what they want it to read so it does not matter whether you are for it or against it. I could make a chart that makes Oprah Winfrey look thin but that would be altering the facts to fit what I want you to believe.
Repoman also states that the Earth goes through climatic cycles of warmth and cooling. I totally agree with this statement. Recently the Earth has gone through a couple of cooling cycles. The first of three examples in recent history I will write about is called the 'Maunder Minimum'. It lasted for a period of a little over 50 years from the late 1600s to the early 1700s when sunspot activity on the sun was at an extreme minimum. The Earth's climate went haywire. There were terrible droughts and extremely severe winters in the northern hemisphere during this period. Second, In 1815 Mt. Tambora in Indonesia blew its top, it made Mt St. Helens look like a little firecracker in comparison, and 1816 became known as the year without a summer. Crops failed and there was snow on the ground year round in areas. Third, Mt Pinatubo's blast in the early 90s brought Earth's global temperature down by over a degree Celsius for a couple of years. You could see a pink aura around the sun for a couple of years from the aerosols pumped into the stratosphere by this blast until they finally dissipated. As you can see a lot of the recent cooling cycles can be explained naturally but the overall trend is towards a warmer climate. Our climate is just like the stock market with ups and downs but the overall course is upwards (at least we all hope when it comes to our 401ks).
Even the Earth's axis has a natural wobble that in the course of its meanderings affects our climate in ways that we have only begun to understand. The Earth has been in a warming cycle for the past 11,000 years since the last ice age ended but lately the warming has been exaggerated. Is man the cause of this?? This question must be answered before it is too late.
We do not need a multi billion dollar carbon tax. What we need is to recoup some of the money being thrown away at AIG, our banks, the car industry and a war that we never should have gotten ourselves mixed into and devote some of that cash into the development of cheaper technology to control greenhouse gas emissions. I know people do not want the government to get bigger than it already is and I agree with that but in this case it should get involved. The government can create jobs in this field by employing people once better technology is developed to go to various industries and help them convert to lower emission systems that could be develped using the money that is being thrown away at this time. The companies would not have to spend their money to do this. Hell, if we are going to get taxed I would like to see the money spent wisely.
In Conclusion, I agree there should be debate. Both sides must be heard and answers must be found. If the naysayers are right and we do nothing and we will be fine. If the naysayers are right and we take steps to reduce the crap we put into our atmosphere we are left with a better planet. If the global warming advocates are right and we do nothing, well I do not want to think of what would be the result of this scenario. If global warming advocates are right and we start taking steps to reduce emissions, in the hope that we can reduce it before we get past the point of no return, we can prevent a catastrophe. This reminds me of the movie "When Worlds Collide" when the scientists present their ideas at the UN in regards to the upcoming collision with the star Bellus. One group claims that the Earth will collide with this star while the other group calls them a bunch of attention seeking crackpots saying the Earth will survive what will be a close encounter. The group for the collision started building a spaceship to reach a planet circling the rogue star and when it was too late the other side agreed that the collision was imminent but there was not time for them to do anything. Does this sound familiar?????
Repoman speaks of taking irretrievable steps. Most any step the Government can take is reversible. The only irretrievable step is to do nothing if the global warming advocates are right. Carbon taxes can be rescinded if passed. People dying from starvation can not.
The choice is clear.... we can do something to help ourselves now or do nothing... and face obliteration....with my apologies to Klaatu.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Seventh Inductee into the Moronica Hall of Fame
Usually it takes a few memorable pieces of moronica over a period of time to be inducted into my Hall of Fame but this gentleman takes the cake with probably the biggest piece of moronica in the history of United States economics. This gentleman has just admitted to CNN that he placed a loophole in the stimulus package that allowed the economy's biggest villain of all, AIG, to pay millions upon millions of dollars in bonuses to some of the most worthless executives in the history of the free market. This admission leaves me speechless so thank goodness I am writing this and not talking. What makes this gentleman so extra special is that he is the chairman of the Senate Banking Committee. This man is Senator Chris Dodd, D-Conn.
This man blatantly lied when questioned previously about the loophole claiming he was not involved at all in its insertion. I'll bet you since he is a democrat he probably has not even paid his taxes. AIG is probably the biggest villain there is in this current economic meltdown and to have a loophole to allow them to pay bonuses with OUR money is sheer and total moronica. To be the chairman of the Senate Banking Committee and do something as totally stupid and moronic as this means instant induction into the MHOF. It is very hard to believe that Chris Dodd is actually working for the people who elected him instead of being a tool for the big corporations as it now appears he is. If he has any sense of honor he should resign his seat as chairman immediately and possibly even resign his seat in the senate. It is displayed ignorance like this that makes Congress look like a bunch of buffoons that cannot do anything right. Can the American people trust this man to do the right thing anymore, especially in this rotten economic climate???? Definitely NOT!!! We badly need, at this time, elected officials we can trust to do what is right for us and not be a corporate stooge.
GOP ex-congressman Rob Simmons plans to challenge Chris Dodd in the coming election and he will have a field day with this political football that has just been kicked to him. If does not score a touchdown with it then shame on him. If Chris Dodd gets re-elected to another term in the senate then the people of Connecticut deserve him and they may be inducted into the MHOF.
If you see Senator Chris Dodd please let him know of his induction and the honor of which that has been bestowed upon him.
This man blatantly lied when questioned previously about the loophole claiming he was not involved at all in its insertion. I'll bet you since he is a democrat he probably has not even paid his taxes. AIG is probably the biggest villain there is in this current economic meltdown and to have a loophole to allow them to pay bonuses with OUR money is sheer and total moronica. To be the chairman of the Senate Banking Committee and do something as totally stupid and moronic as this means instant induction into the MHOF. It is very hard to believe that Chris Dodd is actually working for the people who elected him instead of being a tool for the big corporations as it now appears he is. If he has any sense of honor he should resign his seat as chairman immediately and possibly even resign his seat in the senate. It is displayed ignorance like this that makes Congress look like a bunch of buffoons that cannot do anything right. Can the American people trust this man to do the right thing anymore, especially in this rotten economic climate???? Definitely NOT!!! We badly need, at this time, elected officials we can trust to do what is right for us and not be a corporate stooge.
GOP ex-congressman Rob Simmons plans to challenge Chris Dodd in the coming election and he will have a field day with this political football that has just been kicked to him. If does not score a touchdown with it then shame on him. If Chris Dodd gets re-elected to another term in the senate then the people of Connecticut deserve him and they may be inducted into the MHOF.
If you see Senator Chris Dodd please let him know of his induction and the honor of which that has been bestowed upon him.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Moronican History
I was thinking that some of you might want a brief history of the Kingdom of Moronica. Well, there is really not much to tell as the Kingdom has had a very peaceful existence except for a brief stretch in the early forties. I will relate this unseemly time period to you as briefly as possible.
It all started when four ruthless businessmen who, at the time were engaged in the development of munitions, were getting very concerned about their falling profits. Their names were Mr, Onay, Ixnay, Amscray and Umpchay. Their plan was to foment an insurrection and have the public march upon the King of Moronica's palace, who at that time was my grandfather Herman the six and seven eighths, and replace him with a dictator. They would then encourage the new dictator to 'expand' Moronica's territory thereby increasing their profits through the sale of their arms. Unfortunately, thanks to a beer putsch, they were successful in forcing the King to abdicate his throne. In his stead they put in their puppet dictator whose name was Moe Hailstone who, along with his two henchmen Jerome 'Curley' Gallstone who was made Field Marshall and Larry Pebble who was named the Minister of Propaganda, wrecked havoc among their neighbors. They ended up forming the axle powers along with fellow dictators Benito Chizzelini and his Excellency the Bay of Rum. Fortunately, there was a spy entrenched among Moe Hailstone's close knit group, his secretary and astrologer who, as it turned out, was the famous Matty Herring. She was placed there by the four ruthless businessmen after they realized they had made a huge mistake in putting the completely moronic Hailstone in power. Thanks to Matty Herring's work rifts developed among the axle powers as Moe Hailstone, who was quickly becoming a meglomaniac, soon learned through the counsel of his 'astrologer', that his fellow axle members were going to roast him instead of letting him increase his power and territory. Hailstone figured that the best way to stay in power would be to eliminate his fellow dictators and called a meeting. In the turmoil that followed during this meeting the mindless dictators managed to eliminate themselves thereby allowing the King to re assume his throne. Moronica has remained a peace loving Kingdom ever since.
It all started when four ruthless businessmen who, at the time were engaged in the development of munitions, were getting very concerned about their falling profits. Their names were Mr, Onay, Ixnay, Amscray and Umpchay. Their plan was to foment an insurrection and have the public march upon the King of Moronica's palace, who at that time was my grandfather Herman the six and seven eighths, and replace him with a dictator. They would then encourage the new dictator to 'expand' Moronica's territory thereby increasing their profits through the sale of their arms. Unfortunately, thanks to a beer putsch, they were successful in forcing the King to abdicate his throne. In his stead they put in their puppet dictator whose name was Moe Hailstone who, along with his two henchmen Jerome 'Curley' Gallstone who was made Field Marshall and Larry Pebble who was named the Minister of Propaganda, wrecked havoc among their neighbors. They ended up forming the axle powers along with fellow dictators Benito Chizzelini and his Excellency the Bay of Rum. Fortunately, there was a spy entrenched among Moe Hailstone's close knit group, his secretary and astrologer who, as it turned out, was the famous Matty Herring. She was placed there by the four ruthless businessmen after they realized they had made a huge mistake in putting the completely moronic Hailstone in power. Thanks to Matty Herring's work rifts developed among the axle powers as Moe Hailstone, who was quickly becoming a meglomaniac, soon learned through the counsel of his 'astrologer', that his fellow axle members were going to roast him instead of letting him increase his power and territory. Hailstone figured that the best way to stay in power would be to eliminate his fellow dictators and called a meeting. In the turmoil that followed during this meeting the mindless dictators managed to eliminate themselves thereby allowing the King to re assume his throne. Moronica has remained a peace loving Kingdom ever since.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Shocking
Your King had a royal shock today when his Queen came home this afternoon. As if the omelet adventure wasn't bad enough she ended up having her nose pierced and a stud put in it. Now here is an area where the King of Moronica does have an opinion, and an area of shallowness(except for my opinion on smoking). UGH! The things that drive me nuts, in order of royal pestilence, are as follows starting with the worst.
1) Smoking - The King thoroughly abhors smoking and would not have even considered asking a smoker out. On the personal rating scale of 1-10, smoking is an automatic minus five points to start with no matter how pretty a young lady may be. Anyone stupid enough to get hooked on these moronic nicotine injectors, especially nowadays, is just plain stupid. Why risk your health? I have had two cousins die from emphysema and have seen what it has done to a few of my other relatives, including my father. It ages you and rots your innards. Double UGH!
2) Tattoos - Tattoos start off as an automatic deduction of at least two points, even if it is hidden or nice looking. The larger and more numerous, the larger the deduction. You have to remember that these things stay with you forever. If you have one done on your breast just imagine what it may look like when you turn seventy five and the inevitable sagging strikes. An unobtrusive little heart tattoo there may end up looking like it needs a transplant.
3) Piercings - Ears are fine, anywhere else you start having deductions. The Queen gets a minus one for hers and an additional minus one for the shock to my heart, as when you get to be my age the only shocks you usually end up getting are from defibrillators. Now, naturally, the more you have the larger the deduction. I cannot even imagine what the deduction would be if the person's face ended up looking like barbed wire, as some people do strive to attain. A bone through the nose is definitely outsville! UGH.
Now the King still dearly loves his Queen but she does enjoy pressing my buttons to see what kind of reaction she will get. Today's was a good one as she pressed the red one. As Daffy Duck says "Never press the wed one!" Only here in Moronica.
1) Smoking - The King thoroughly abhors smoking and would not have even considered asking a smoker out. On the personal rating scale of 1-10, smoking is an automatic minus five points to start with no matter how pretty a young lady may be. Anyone stupid enough to get hooked on these moronic nicotine injectors, especially nowadays, is just plain stupid. Why risk your health? I have had two cousins die from emphysema and have seen what it has done to a few of my other relatives, including my father. It ages you and rots your innards. Double UGH!
2) Tattoos - Tattoos start off as an automatic deduction of at least two points, even if it is hidden or nice looking. The larger and more numerous, the larger the deduction. You have to remember that these things stay with you forever. If you have one done on your breast just imagine what it may look like when you turn seventy five and the inevitable sagging strikes. An unobtrusive little heart tattoo there may end up looking like it needs a transplant.
3) Piercings - Ears are fine, anywhere else you start having deductions. The Queen gets a minus one for hers and an additional minus one for the shock to my heart, as when you get to be my age the only shocks you usually end up getting are from defibrillators. Now, naturally, the more you have the larger the deduction. I cannot even imagine what the deduction would be if the person's face ended up looking like barbed wire, as some people do strive to attain. A bone through the nose is definitely outsville! UGH.
Now the King still dearly loves his Queen but she does enjoy pressing my buttons to see what kind of reaction she will get. Today's was a good one as she pressed the red one. As Daffy Duck says "Never press the wed one!" Only here in Moronica.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Shopping Carts
King Dinglefritz's royal mutt needed a large bag of food bought for her today so I went to the local Wegmans to purchase it. Now the question is, why is it every time I grab a shopping cart there there is always one wheel that is either designed to spin around or wobble causing the entire cart to feel like it has Parkinson's Disease? (Dare I even mention the wheel that just plain does not move at all) This cart I grabbed today had the best of both worlds. It had a shaky wheel and the wheel also spun round and round. Watching it spin made me dizzy(much dizzier than I already naturally am). Who is the moronic genius that designed this modern day devise of sheer and utter torture? I would rather be water boarded than to grab any store's shopping cart and walk around the store with it. After I was done shopping I still had the shakes long after I returned the cart to the cart deposit rack. It was so bad I thought I was coming down with first stage Parkinson's while driving home. If someone can please give me the name of the moronic genius that invented the shopping cart whirrly wheel he or she will be immediately inducted into the MHOF. The Marquis De Sade would have been proud of this person. Just think of the info the CIA could obtain if they used this device down in Guantanamo Bay and the public outrage that would occur if the public found out about it. I am certain the KGB must have been involved in the development of the shopping cart wheel as it has such a simple, yet intelligent design, an obvious hallmark of Russian craftsmanship.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Bankruptcy for Everyone!!!
The King of Moronica has tried to refrain from delving into politics lately and has made every effort to keep things light hearted but your King just cannot keep his mouth shut today. The House today passed a mortgage aid bill which has me really has me wondering about the sanity of our elected officials. This bill will allow bankruptcy judges to rewrite mortgages to reduce the principal and the interest rate. Supporters of this bill say this will force banks to negotiate with mortgagors for better terms. Banks are very willing to work with mortgagors within reason and they do not need some bankruptcy judge rewriting mortgage terms for them. The reason for this is that no bankruptcy judge is the same. They march to their own beat. Some are pro debtor, others are pro creditor and the rest are just plain nuts. Should this bill become law it will create a flood of bankruptcy filings in epic proportions, especially in courts that are known to favor debtors, in order to have judges rewrite mortgages and that is a joke and should not be tolerated. What is going to happen is that mortgagors are going to find every loophole, and Congress is well known for leaving the biggest of loopholes, to take advantage of this law. What would stop mortgagors from running up a large credit card debt, refinancing their mortgage to pay it off and then filing a bankruptcy to cram down the mortgage six months later. Why, the very thought of something like that would send my wife to the mall in a heartbeat. At least the Senate is thinking about putting in a provision limiting this to existing mortgages but even this has a flaw. You can still run up a large credit debt if you knowingly have a mortgage that would qualify you for a bankruptcy rewrite and then cram down that mortgage down leaving the filer with extra money to pay off their luxuries at a reduced rate during the term of their bankrupcty. Ridiculous!. This is a bill that rewards stupidity. Since when do we need Congress writing laws to reward this??? When I purchased my Kingdom of Moronica I made sure that the property I was buying was affordable and that I could live within my means while paying off my mortgage. I did not try to purchase a property that I knew I could not afford. There is no way I would have ever accepted an adjustable rate mortgage which is a big reason for a large number of foreclosures. You have to be a moron to agree to one of those. They lure you in with a great interest rate and after a couple of years of rate adjustments you end up paying a monthly payment that could be up to twice of what you were originally paying. Ugh!
A bill like this can only happen because the House of Representatives is loaded with a bunch of fools that is led by an even bigger fool. You cannot pass a bill that is knowingly armed with opportunities for great abuse just for the sake of passing a bill. The House GOP had some decent ideas that should have been incorporated into the version passed but they were totally ignored by the Democrats. So much for bipartisanship.
Today's bankruptcy courts are overloaded with enough legitimate cases from people who really do need bankruptcy protection along with a ton of ignorant fools who spend beyond their means and then wonder why they cannot make payments. I have no pity for people who amass so much credit card debt and then sink in it. I specialize in moronica, not stupidity.
The passage of this bill will only destabilize the housing market further by driving up mortgage rates as banks will be looking to recoup money from lost interest. As Rep. Lamar Smith of Texas says "This legislation punishes the successful, it taxes the responsible, and it holds no one accountable." It is a bill that President Obama should veto if it makes it to his desk as is. No Bankruptcy judge should be allowed to rewrite a mortgage. They specialize in law, not economics. The Kingdom of Moronica Does not support this foolish legislation and supports those who strive to have it defeated. MORONICA UBER ALLES!!!
A bill like this can only happen because the House of Representatives is loaded with a bunch of fools that is led by an even bigger fool. You cannot pass a bill that is knowingly armed with opportunities for great abuse just for the sake of passing a bill. The House GOP had some decent ideas that should have been incorporated into the version passed but they were totally ignored by the Democrats. So much for bipartisanship.
Today's bankruptcy courts are overloaded with enough legitimate cases from people who really do need bankruptcy protection along with a ton of ignorant fools who spend beyond their means and then wonder why they cannot make payments. I have no pity for people who amass so much credit card debt and then sink in it. I specialize in moronica, not stupidity.
The passage of this bill will only destabilize the housing market further by driving up mortgage rates as banks will be looking to recoup money from lost interest. As Rep. Lamar Smith of Texas says "This legislation punishes the successful, it taxes the responsible, and it holds no one accountable." It is a bill that President Obama should veto if it makes it to his desk as is. No Bankruptcy judge should be allowed to rewrite a mortgage. They specialize in law, not economics. The Kingdom of Moronica Does not support this foolish legislation and supports those who strive to have it defeated. MORONICA UBER ALLES!!!
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Ralph Esposito
The Kingdom of Moronica has recently learned that the Supervisor of the Kingdom of Gates is stepping down after 20 years of service to this community after his term expires this November. Ralph Esposito is a man who was previously honored in a statement by my Kingdom a few months ago for a job well done and I honor him again and wish him well. May he have many years of a much deserved retirement and once again I say "Good Job Ralph!!" Gates is a better community for your efforts. You have set the bar of achievement high for the next elected head of this town to match. The people of Moronica and Gates thank you.
The Natives are Restless
It has been requested by a reader of my blog of moronica that the King should expound some of his moronic wisdom on the topic of the Native Americans and their travails with the State of New York. I have given this much thought and, not being an expert on the subject, I decided that I should give my good friend Chief Raininthepuss of the Ungadunga Tribe of South Central Lower Upstate New York a call for his valued opinion. The chief and I go way back and I always look forward to chatting with him.
"Hello, may I speak with Chief Raininthepuss please?"
"Ugh, this Chief Raininthepuss speaking. Who this?
"Your friend, King Dinglefritz of Moronica."
"FRITZY!!!!Its good to be speaking with you my friend! At least now, knowing its you, I can dump that stupid phony native American accent everyone expects from me. What can I do for you?"
"I don't know why you ever use that accent but hey, that is your choice. I called to get some of your thoughts on you and your fellow tribes battle with New York State."
"Fritzy, I will be honest with you, We will try to get every last cent, piece of land or whatever we realistically can from the state and or federal governments. They started screwing us from the moment they stepped off the boats onto Plymouth Rock. And the screwing got worse the farther west they spread and we just want to rectify it. We know we can't get it all back but we just want a fair shake. I mean they took our land, killed our buffalo and expected us to just sit back and smile. All we want to is to live and operate the way we choose to on what little territorial lands we have left and have them honor whatever treaties there are that actually give us a break."
"Peacefully, of course?"
" Of course. The Seneca and the Oneida tribes are doing their best at taking the 'white man's' money through their casinos."
"Even then you had to sign deals with the State to give them a piece of the action in order to build these on YOUR lands."
"Another screw job perpetrated upon us by the State Government. Our only worthwhile weapon is depriving the State of tax money through the untaxed sales of goods in our stores located on our territorial lands."
"Especially cigarettes, eh?"
"Yes, especially them. It was our plan to provide cheap smokes to all of the non-natives and get them all hooked on them. This would cause population reductions from the diseases the smokes would cause so we could take over our lands again. The stupid plan backfired as most of my tribe's people ended up puffing away."
"The best laid plans my friend.....and now the State wants you to start taxing your smokes."
"Yes Fritzy, We were going to fight that the best way we can using the Seneca's plan of about twenty five moons er years ago. We were going to put tires across the State Route 798 that runs through my tribe's land and burn them in protest."
"What happened to that plan?"
"Well, its hard for it to be effective when the only cars that use that route are my fellow tribes men's cars."
"Figures. Well you know the Kingdom of Moronica fully supports all Native Americans in their efforts to realistically reverse the screw jobs of the past. The US Government forced you off your native lands and put you onto tiny, crappy reservations. And then if they found something that they liked on those tiny, crappy reservations, like gold, they booted you off them too into crappier reservations."
"Our ancestors tried their best in keeping what they could but we could not continue to fight the unending resources of the US Government. They forced us to sign one sided treaties and even now when an old treaty gives us a half of a leg to stand on they try to deny it. The State does the same thing. Its no wonder we natives have such a big problem with 'firewater'."
"The various levels of governments in this country have driven many a person, natives included, to drink my friend. Its also a shame that the State tries to constantly interfere with you and your fellow tribes in the business that you do. Whatever help my Kingdom of Moronica can provide to you in your peaceful battles with Governor Paterson's State of Taxation I will try to provide but my resources are very limited too. "
"Thanks Fritzy. I appreciate all of your support. If worse comes to worse your scalp will remain safely attached to your head."
"Thanks, I think."
"On June 15 my Ungadunga tribe is having a, well, powwow celebration and we will have representatives of all other New York tribes present. At the end of the celebration we are going to borrow an idea from the Arabs and throw moccasins at a statue of the governor. You are invited."
"I will try to make it, but as I do want to try to maintain somewhat cordial relations with the State of New York, I will have to refrain from throwing either shoes or moccasins. Its good chatting with you my friend! Good luck in your battles with the state!"
"Thanks Fritzy and as my ancestors would say..'May the bird of paradise, when flying overhead, not poop on your car'. You are a good friend my fellow chief."
Take care Chief!"
"Hello, may I speak with Chief Raininthepuss please?"
"Ugh, this Chief Raininthepuss speaking. Who this?
"Your friend, King Dinglefritz of Moronica."
"FRITZY!!!!Its good to be speaking with you my friend! At least now, knowing its you, I can dump that stupid phony native American accent everyone expects from me. What can I do for you?"
"I don't know why you ever use that accent but hey, that is your choice. I called to get some of your thoughts on you and your fellow tribes battle with New York State."
"Fritzy, I will be honest with you, We will try to get every last cent, piece of land or whatever we realistically can from the state and or federal governments. They started screwing us from the moment they stepped off the boats onto Plymouth Rock. And the screwing got worse the farther west they spread and we just want to rectify it. We know we can't get it all back but we just want a fair shake. I mean they took our land, killed our buffalo and expected us to just sit back and smile. All we want to is to live and operate the way we choose to on what little territorial lands we have left and have them honor whatever treaties there are that actually give us a break."
"Peacefully, of course?"
" Of course. The Seneca and the Oneida tribes are doing their best at taking the 'white man's' money through their casinos."
"Even then you had to sign deals with the State to give them a piece of the action in order to build these on YOUR lands."
"Another screw job perpetrated upon us by the State Government. Our only worthwhile weapon is depriving the State of tax money through the untaxed sales of goods in our stores located on our territorial lands."
"Especially cigarettes, eh?"
"Yes, especially them. It was our plan to provide cheap smokes to all of the non-natives and get them all hooked on them. This would cause population reductions from the diseases the smokes would cause so we could take over our lands again. The stupid plan backfired as most of my tribe's people ended up puffing away."
"The best laid plans my friend.....and now the State wants you to start taxing your smokes."
"Yes Fritzy, We were going to fight that the best way we can using the Seneca's plan of about twenty five moons er years ago. We were going to put tires across the State Route 798 that runs through my tribe's land and burn them in protest."
"What happened to that plan?"
"Well, its hard for it to be effective when the only cars that use that route are my fellow tribes men's cars."
"Figures. Well you know the Kingdom of Moronica fully supports all Native Americans in their efforts to realistically reverse the screw jobs of the past. The US Government forced you off your native lands and put you onto tiny, crappy reservations. And then if they found something that they liked on those tiny, crappy reservations, like gold, they booted you off them too into crappier reservations."
"Our ancestors tried their best in keeping what they could but we could not continue to fight the unending resources of the US Government. They forced us to sign one sided treaties and even now when an old treaty gives us a half of a leg to stand on they try to deny it. The State does the same thing. Its no wonder we natives have such a big problem with 'firewater'."
"The various levels of governments in this country have driven many a person, natives included, to drink my friend. Its also a shame that the State tries to constantly interfere with you and your fellow tribes in the business that you do. Whatever help my Kingdom of Moronica can provide to you in your peaceful battles with Governor Paterson's State of Taxation I will try to provide but my resources are very limited too. "
"Thanks Fritzy. I appreciate all of your support. If worse comes to worse your scalp will remain safely attached to your head."
"Thanks, I think."
"On June 15 my Ungadunga tribe is having a, well, powwow celebration and we will have representatives of all other New York tribes present. At the end of the celebration we are going to borrow an idea from the Arabs and throw moccasins at a statue of the governor. You are invited."
"I will try to make it, but as I do want to try to maintain somewhat cordial relations with the State of New York, I will have to refrain from throwing either shoes or moccasins. Its good chatting with you my friend! Good luck in your battles with the state!"
"Thanks Fritzy and as my ancestors would say..'May the bird of paradise, when flying overhead, not poop on your car'. You are a good friend my fellow chief."
Take care Chief!"
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
The House passes resolution to honor actor Paul Newman
Bully to our House of Representatives!!! I am glad everything in this country is so honky dory that they have time to honor this great actor. Sometimes you just have to wonder about our elected officials.
Lets take a look at what they passed... The resolution includes an honor to actor Paul Newman which is fine, but also includes 10 million dollars to study Mexican Jumping Beans and their potential for green energy, 56 million dollars to study the mating habits of crickets and their potential for green energy, 7.5 million dollars allocated to Ken Starr to find out exactly who this Dinglefritz is and 68 million dollars on a study to ascertain the possibility about building a bridge to Hawaii that will put people to work. The flow of pork never stops spewing from our crew at the Capitol!! Not even Dinosaur Barbecue can cook this mess.
Kudos to Congress for money and time well spent!!!! There is no way in the world they could ever become citizens of my honorable Kingdom of Moronica. As King, I strive to maintain a high level of moronica and I certainly would not want it diluted by the low level of moronica that Congress would bring to my realm. If this Congress is the best we can do then God help us!
The cause of the minor seismic tremors that have been recorded lately near Washington D.C. has been attributed to our founding fathers rolling in their graves.
PS: The only thing falling faster than the Stock Market is Governor Paterson's approval ratings. They are so deep in the toilet that Albany has requested, at taxpayers expense of course, a special visit by Mr. Rooter to see if he can flush them out. Good luck Mr. Rooter, Not even Jim Phelps would accept this mission!
Lets take a look at what they passed... The resolution includes an honor to actor Paul Newman which is fine, but also includes 10 million dollars to study Mexican Jumping Beans and their potential for green energy, 56 million dollars to study the mating habits of crickets and their potential for green energy, 7.5 million dollars allocated to Ken Starr to find out exactly who this Dinglefritz is and 68 million dollars on a study to ascertain the possibility about building a bridge to Hawaii that will put people to work. The flow of pork never stops spewing from our crew at the Capitol!! Not even Dinosaur Barbecue can cook this mess.
Kudos to Congress for money and time well spent!!!! There is no way in the world they could ever become citizens of my honorable Kingdom of Moronica. As King, I strive to maintain a high level of moronica and I certainly would not want it diluted by the low level of moronica that Congress would bring to my realm. If this Congress is the best we can do then God help us!
The cause of the minor seismic tremors that have been recorded lately near Washington D.C. has been attributed to our founding fathers rolling in their graves.
PS: The only thing falling faster than the Stock Market is Governor Paterson's approval ratings. They are so deep in the toilet that Albany has requested, at taxpayers expense of course, a special visit by Mr. Rooter to see if he can flush them out. Good luck Mr. Rooter, Not even Jim Phelps would accept this mission!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
King Dinglefritz's Triumphant Return to Tournament Bowling
Back in late January I inducted Spencerport Lanes into the MHOF. While I do not have any regrets about this induction I do have to say this about the place.... If you keep your thoughts straight and focused while bowling there it will help you improve your game. I say this as it has helped me take advantage of my talent when I actually get to a hall that puts out a good shot so that I can be more consistant in hitting my target and therefore score well. Spencerport Bowl forces you to make good shots, unless you have the luck of a leprechaun which I do not, to score. Even the good shots do not carry as my teammates had a good laugh at my expense in the third game tonight when I left a stone eight on a beautiful shot but I digress. Going back to the gist of this blog entry I bowled in a tournament this past Saturday down in Geneseo. It was a no-tap tournament where if you get nine pins on your first ball it counts as a strike. It is a tournament the Geneseo Firemen hold every year at this time and it is a lot fun. I went into the tournament trying to answer a few questions about myself that bowling in Spencerport has generated in my simple mind such as: Am I really in a major slump? Do I really stink as badly as my scores at Spencerport have indicated lately? Is Marshawn Lynch a real idiot? Am I washed up? I went into the tourney with two thought patterns, either I was going to stink out the joint or I was going to light them up. There was going to be no middle ground. It did not take me long to answer these questions as the second train of thought was proven the right one. I was hot!!! I did not stink nor am I washed up!!! I started off with the first eight natural strikes before my first no-tap strike and finished with a 298 scoring 10 out of 11 naturals. The first game brought back memories of eleven years ago when I proved my moronica by throwing a natural 300 game in this same no-tap tourney. I took serious razzing and paid steep stupid fines to my Friday Night Scratch League kangaroo court when they found out about it. The second game started with a sad first frame, then I had strikes from the second to the ninth frame but in the tenth frame I got lazy with my release on the first shot, the ball did not finish strong and it cost me as I left the 2-10 on a light hit but I still finished with a 243. The third game started slowly but I got the needed nine on each shot until I made the necessary two and one moves on the lanes and started pounding the pocket again finishing with the last seven natural strikes and scoring a 300 game winning $25.00 in the process. I finished with a 841 series and combined with handicap it totalled an 880 series. My team finished second in the tourney and at this time I do not know what we will get for it. I owe a small debt to Spencerport Lanes as it helped me realize that when I do have a chance to bowl on a good shot at another hall I should do well and the handicap I have from my average from bowling at Spencerport is a bonus.
I still have pride in my game and wish I was creaming the pins there at a higher rate but I guess I can live with the torment that place causes me as I can see the light at the end of the tunnel that this tournament showed me there is. It was good to get back out there and see people that I have not seen since my retirement from bowling after the 2003 season. At least they now know I am not dead. Mark my words...I HAVE returned and with a vengeance!!!!! Now I just have to get new equipment as mine is fossilizing.
I still have pride in my game and wish I was creaming the pins there at a higher rate but I guess I can live with the torment that place causes me as I can see the light at the end of the tunnel that this tournament showed me there is. It was good to get back out there and see people that I have not seen since my retirement from bowling after the 2003 season. At least they now know I am not dead. Mark my words...I HAVE returned and with a vengeance!!!!! Now I just have to get new equipment as mine is fossilizing.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Sixth Inductee into the Moronica Hall of Fame
This induction may have been easier to make than than the induction of the former Governor of Illinois. This inductee is an absolute blithering idiot. The newest inductee into the MHOF is the owner of the Peanut Corp. in Blakely, Georgia. This man may well end up being responsible for more illness than Typhoid Mary and maybe even Robert Mugabe. As of today the latest count of illness resulting from his contaminated product was over 600 people with nine suspected deaths. This man ordered products that were contaminated with salmonella to be shipped from his plant complaining that the tests discovering the contaminated food was costing his company huge $$$$. This man 'fired' the lab that was testing his product as they were coming up with too many positive tests results for salmonella. This man even wanted to pin the blame for the contamination on Chinese peanuts. Amazing. This man is Stewart Parnell.
In today's paper I was beside myself after reading the article about the federal criminal investigation into his plant. Congressman Greg Walden, R-Ore. actually challenged Mr. Parnell when he held up a container of his product containing various goodies, wrapped in crime scene tape, and dared him to eat them. He responded by taking the fifth amendment as he did to all of the other questions posed to him. To ship out product knowing they were contaminated with salmonella is the epitome of moronica. His products, such as cookies, crackers and ice cream, are the favorites of our nations children and to knowingly send out this crap, which could make our children sick...or worse, is downright criminal.
This man has earned his induction into the MHOF by his acts of total moronica in the utter disregard for the consumers of this country. If the Kingdom of Moronica could it would recommend him serving a consecutive life sentence for every person that has died as a result of his stupidity and greed but he resides in the United States and is out of Moronica's jurisdiction. If you see Stewart Parnell please let him know of his induction and the honor of which that has been bestowed upon him.....the jerk!
In today's paper I was beside myself after reading the article about the federal criminal investigation into his plant. Congressman Greg Walden, R-Ore. actually challenged Mr. Parnell when he held up a container of his product containing various goodies, wrapped in crime scene tape, and dared him to eat them. He responded by taking the fifth amendment as he did to all of the other questions posed to him. To ship out product knowing they were contaminated with salmonella is the epitome of moronica. His products, such as cookies, crackers and ice cream, are the favorites of our nations children and to knowingly send out this crap, which could make our children sick...or worse, is downright criminal.
This man has earned his induction into the MHOF by his acts of total moronica in the utter disregard for the consumers of this country. If the Kingdom of Moronica could it would recommend him serving a consecutive life sentence for every person that has died as a result of his stupidity and greed but he resides in the United States and is out of Moronica's jurisdiction. If you see Stewart Parnell please let him know of his induction and the honor of which that has been bestowed upon him.....the jerk!
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Random Thoughts
1) Congratulations to the Dumocratic party for figuring out a way to pare down the deficit. You nominate someone for a cabinet post who checked the yes box on the questionnaire for tax problems so that they are embarrassed enough to then pay their back taxes. I am sure the schmucks would have never paid them unless they were brought out into the open. Kudos to Obama for coming up with this beaut of an idea!! It seems Tom Daschle owed enough in back taxes to possibly become a future nominee to the MHOF....we will see. The editorial cartoon in today's Democrat and Chronicle was a beaut and right on the mark.
2) I swear, as my job as the King of Moronica, I see many moronic things but none more moronic as the dealings my 'government' has with high level judges in New York State. These people must get delusions of godhood once they are either elected or appointed to their posts. If someone told me that when they are alone in their chambers they would put on their robes, with nothing on underneath of course, and those old style white wigs and prance around absorbing the godlike power in which they believe they have I would believe it. Their demands are becoming absolutely crazy, too bad I cannot discuss them. If I could I would put them all on a galley and have them row me around.
3) Manny Ramirez... Can there be anyone greedier than this man and his agent...turning down 25 million dollars in this economic climate???? I have addressed this idiot before and I hope that he never plays ball again. Maybe he is holding out for more as he has to feed his family.
4) Congratulations to Ralph Wilson on finally making it into the Pro Football Hall of Fame as he did deserve it. But, with the continuation of the Jauron error(era) in Buffalo, he may be guaranteeing a future induction into the MHOF if Jauron turns in another year like this past year.
5) I am baffled. How can 'Paul Blart, Mall Cop' be nearing 100 million dollars in receipts. I saw the commercials for it and I am simply dumbfounded. Have we, as a nation, sunk so low as to be turning this movie into a blockbuster??? Amazing.
6) Where was the penalty flag when Santana Holmes used the football as a prop in his post touchdown celebration with 35 seconds left???? Usually NFL officials are flag happy when it comes to this stuff and this non call shows a double standard in which games are called. The Cardinals were screwed out an extra 15 yards of field position and who knows what would have happened if Pittsburgh was forced to kick off from the 15 yard line like they should have. You can damn well be sure that if a Cardinal did the same celebration there would have been a flag thrown instantly. I have always believed that this league plays favorites and this non call adds to my beliefs. If you need any further proof just look at the penalty yardage differential between the two teams. It was much easier for the refs to throw flags on the Cards than the Steelers. Ugh.
2) I swear, as my job as the King of Moronica, I see many moronic things but none more moronic as the dealings my 'government' has with high level judges in New York State. These people must get delusions of godhood once they are either elected or appointed to their posts. If someone told me that when they are alone in their chambers they would put on their robes, with nothing on underneath of course, and those old style white wigs and prance around absorbing the godlike power in which they believe they have I would believe it. Their demands are becoming absolutely crazy, too bad I cannot discuss them. If I could I would put them all on a galley and have them row me around.
3) Manny Ramirez... Can there be anyone greedier than this man and his agent...turning down 25 million dollars in this economic climate???? I have addressed this idiot before and I hope that he never plays ball again. Maybe he is holding out for more as he has to feed his family.
4) Congratulations to Ralph Wilson on finally making it into the Pro Football Hall of Fame as he did deserve it. But, with the continuation of the Jauron error(era) in Buffalo, he may be guaranteeing a future induction into the MHOF if Jauron turns in another year like this past year.
5) I am baffled. How can 'Paul Blart, Mall Cop' be nearing 100 million dollars in receipts. I saw the commercials for it and I am simply dumbfounded. Have we, as a nation, sunk so low as to be turning this movie into a blockbuster??? Amazing.
6) Where was the penalty flag when Santana Holmes used the football as a prop in his post touchdown celebration with 35 seconds left???? Usually NFL officials are flag happy when it comes to this stuff and this non call shows a double standard in which games are called. The Cardinals were screwed out an extra 15 yards of field position and who knows what would have happened if Pittsburgh was forced to kick off from the 15 yard line like they should have. You can damn well be sure that if a Cardinal did the same celebration there would have been a flag thrown instantly. I have always believed that this league plays favorites and this non call adds to my beliefs. If you need any further proof just look at the penalty yardage differential between the two teams. It was much easier for the refs to throw flags on the Cards than the Steelers. Ugh.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Super Bowl Sickness
Is there anything else in the world that is more over hyped than the Super Bowl. It has come to the point where the game is anticlimactic. So anticlimactic in fact that I may end up watching Dr. Who on BBC America at the time the game is on. I want the Cardinals to win but at this time I could really care less. I am sick and tired of all of the hype for what is and always will be a silly game.
On the television at this time I do have ESPN's NFL Countdown on and the talking heads are in exceptionally fine form today. The only reason I have this stupid station on right now because I am waiting for the Pro Bowling show to come on right after it is over.... And we all know from previous muses that I do enjoy bowling.
The talking heads talk about anything they can think of from Kurt Warner's gloves to Coach Tomlin's bowl movements. Its that moronic. Then the fun really starts because after ESPN's talking heads are done flapping their yaps the NBC network's talking heads get to take over. You will then get five plus hours of continued 'analysis' of this game. We will probably find out how many steps Big Ben takes on a certain pass play or if we are really lucky what Big Ben uses for a stool softener....They must really have to dig deep for stuff to analyze after the second hour as I heard they have an interview set up with Ollie the Orangutan, the ape that picked the Cards to win the game. They have now just reported that Kurt Warner gets sacked once every 24 drops. With this information I can now plan out the next year of my life. Thank you ESPN.
Now, next in line for Super Bowl moronica to be addressed are those silly box pools that every work place or bar in the universe are running at this time. Yes, even the palace in which Dinglefritz works has a few of these too. I could cure the economy, or at the very least make a lot of local stores happy, if I had the money back that my wife 'invested' in these pools and the various others that she is participating in. In my opinion it is a fool that parts with their money in this way but I guess it is the 'thrill' of the hunt mentality that takes over. Oh well, let them have their fun as while I find these pools very moronic there is always a chance, albeit a small chance, that my wife will win a pool which would mean a happy wife. A happy wife means a happy Dinglefritz, or at the very least a less crabby Dinglefritz, and the world loves a happy Dinglefritz.
On the television at this time I do have ESPN's NFL Countdown on and the talking heads are in exceptionally fine form today. The only reason I have this stupid station on right now because I am waiting for the Pro Bowling show to come on right after it is over.... And we all know from previous muses that I do enjoy bowling.
The talking heads talk about anything they can think of from Kurt Warner's gloves to Coach Tomlin's bowl movements. Its that moronic. Then the fun really starts because after ESPN's talking heads are done flapping their yaps the NBC network's talking heads get to take over. You will then get five plus hours of continued 'analysis' of this game. We will probably find out how many steps Big Ben takes on a certain pass play or if we are really lucky what Big Ben uses for a stool softener....They must really have to dig deep for stuff to analyze after the second hour as I heard they have an interview set up with Ollie the Orangutan, the ape that picked the Cards to win the game. They have now just reported that Kurt Warner gets sacked once every 24 drops. With this information I can now plan out the next year of my life. Thank you ESPN.
Now, next in line for Super Bowl moronica to be addressed are those silly box pools that every work place or bar in the universe are running at this time. Yes, even the palace in which Dinglefritz works has a few of these too. I could cure the economy, or at the very least make a lot of local stores happy, if I had the money back that my wife 'invested' in these pools and the various others that she is participating in. In my opinion it is a fool that parts with their money in this way but I guess it is the 'thrill' of the hunt mentality that takes over. Oh well, let them have their fun as while I find these pools very moronic there is always a chance, albeit a small chance, that my wife will win a pool which would mean a happy wife. A happy wife means a happy Dinglefritz, or at the very least a less crabby Dinglefritz, and the world loves a happy Dinglefritz.
Friday, January 30, 2009
The Incredible Shrinking Food
Lately I have noticed something that has been bothering me quite a bit . Tonight I went shopping for a few items so I could make myself a nice spicy Chinese dinner. At one of my stops I noticed a fresh sourdough boule in the bread rack. Now Dinglefritz has a soft spot in his heart..I mean stomach for boule type breads, sourdough, and Neo Tuscan are my favorites. Tonight I just have to say something. In a short span of time the size of these loaves has shrunk by at least 1/3rd and the price has either remained the same or has gone up. This is moronica in epic proportions. Its one thing to slightly shrink the bloody thing but to shrink it so that it is so noticeable?? I know companies are hurting but to charge $3.59 for a piece of bread that is slightly larger than a softball is ludicrous.
I have also noticed other things shrinking as well. I always had my morning pop tart at work but even these silly things have shrunk. Everything seems to be shrinking, well except for my belly but that's for a later blog.
People work hard for their money and they deserve a fair shake. While I have not been out to eat to often lately I know there are some restaurants that still offer an honest value. Fratelli's in Lakeville is one. Even I could not finish my more than ample portions of delicious fish and pasta and I had to bring it home where it served me well again the next night. I have heard the fish fry at Martino's is a sight to behold and the size of a whale but now I am really digressing and getting very hungry.
If there is some way to raise a stink about the incredible shrinking food we should do it. It is moronic to spend the same amount of money or more to end up getting 2/3rds of what you used to enjoy. It seems food is shrinking faster than today's job market. I wish my gut would shrink as quickly.
PS: Did anyone see the disappointment in Channel 10's weatherman Kevin William's eyes when he was talking about the potential Nor'easter that may head up the coast on Tuesday? He said the models are now predicting it to be farther east and less of a factor in producing snow for us. He genuinely looked sad. But his eyes did perk up when he said they could be wrong. He is a peach.
I have also noticed other things shrinking as well. I always had my morning pop tart at work but even these silly things have shrunk. Everything seems to be shrinking, well except for my belly but that's for a later blog.
People work hard for their money and they deserve a fair shake. While I have not been out to eat to often lately I know there are some restaurants that still offer an honest value. Fratelli's in Lakeville is one. Even I could not finish my more than ample portions of delicious fish and pasta and I had to bring it home where it served me well again the next night. I have heard the fish fry at Martino's is a sight to behold and the size of a whale but now I am really digressing and getting very hungry.
If there is some way to raise a stink about the incredible shrinking food we should do it. It is moronic to spend the same amount of money or more to end up getting 2/3rds of what you used to enjoy. It seems food is shrinking faster than today's job market. I wish my gut would shrink as quickly.
PS: Did anyone see the disappointment in Channel 10's weatherman Kevin William's eyes when he was talking about the potential Nor'easter that may head up the coast on Tuesday? He said the models are now predicting it to be farther east and less of a factor in producing snow for us. He genuinely looked sad. But his eyes did perk up when he said they could be wrong. He is a peach.
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