1) Well the moron that brutally attacked the 70 year old Walmart cashier last year got her just desserts today with a sentence of five years in prison. That unremorseful ass deserved more. Her lawyer plans on appealing the conviction and that may make him a bigger moron than she is. We see her on tape attacking the cashier so what is the attorney going to appeal? That the tape was lying? She was caught in the act so there should be no appeal. I hope the witch serves every minute of her term.
2) Sometimes it is good to be the King, in this case the General(s). Our newest moron, General Petraeus director of the CIA, had to know that having outside nookie is a major security violation per the CIA bylaws but still he proved that he is an idiot by ignoring it. And now it seems one of his buddy generals is also dipping his wick where it does not belong. This is getting to be one hell of a story and now I cannot wait until the movie comes out. Maybe a good working title would be "Morons in the Mist" or maybe "Debbie does Spies". More news on this story of these sex starved morons as it develops in your friendly neighborhood Blog of Moronica.
3) New on the Channel 13 news tonight was the latest list of 'most dangerous toys' On that list, OMG, is the rubber duckie as it has some kind of bad chemical in it. How can the one and only rubber duckie be dangerous??? Oh, that's right, it was made in China. Those rascally Chinese are doing what they can to take over the world and sending us killer rubber duckies has to be a new low, even for them.
4) The crows are back in Rochester, NY. Last year the city spent $20,000 to scare them away but the 'I Love Rochester' program has worked so well that the crows have returned. The city parks are pretty much piles of crow sh*t right now. The park's benches have been successfully used for target practice by these black, feathered menaces. Maybe it is time to allow the 'Occupy Rochester' goofballs back into the park and then let the crows stay around instead of spending good money to scare them away. Good times can be had by all, especially the crows and the people who watch the occupiers duck and covering when the crow bombing starts.
5) Fred Jackson, of the Buffalo Bills, is out for Thursday's game after having his head smushed by a Patriot at the end of the game on Sunday. Will this mean more touches for CJ Spiller?? Probably not knowing Mr. Moron, Chan Gailey. I am betting that Tashard Choice ends up getting more touches than Spiller because Spiller is so dangerous with the ball. So dangerous, in fact, that the Bill's head coach fears that the Miami defensive players may get hurt, or their egos seriously bruised, trying to catch him and, since Mr. Moron is so nice, he does not want to see that happen. Back to Fred, the poor guy keeps trying to turn off the alarm clock, but the only thing ringing is the poor guy's head.
That is the Moronican news for Wednesday November 14th. More bulletins as events, or my inspiration, warrant. Good night my fellow Moronicans.
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