It is a sad duty that I have to perform but I have to announce that on this day, a day that will live in infamy, war has been declared upon Moronica by the nation of Bikini Bottom, namely by its mayor Pacifica. A war between nations has always been dreaded. But, to the eternal credit of the peoples of Moronica history shall be able to proclaim loudly and justly that in this war between Bikini Bottom and Moronica, Bikini Bottom struck first. Bikini Bottom, its life form truly unknown and unimaginable; Its way of thinking unpredictable.
In a comment early last fall, that I had to delete because of its vulgarity, the Mayor of Bikini Bottom sent the first salvo into the Kingdom of Moronica. In that comment, which disgusted me thoroughly he insulted me and my Queen. Though I believe in freedom of speech I could not let this comment remain and disgust other people that may chance upon it and be burnt by its radiation.
What is really funny is that Pacifica has called me a hater of the Constitution, of which I am not. The main thing about the Constitution is that it protects the freedom of speech. It is something that our founding fathers thought was so important that they made it #1. It is something that the supposed Constitution lover, Mr. Pacifica, wants to deny me. He wants me to shut up and crawl into my pod and never be heard from again. Does that sound like someone who loves the Constitution and and would defend other peoples rights?? No. It is obvious to everyone that has read my writings and replies to this moron that I have actually defended, to my eternal credit, HIS right to free speech and have tried to encourage sensible dialogue between Bikini Bottom and Moronica. Unfortunately he continues to espouse hatred and stupidity. My efforts at maintaining peace between Moronica and Bikini Bottom have failed.
So, taking all that has been thrust upon your King, and in response to the anonymous commenter that encouraged me to admit Pacifica into the Moronica Hall of Fame, I do that right now. I find it quite easy to enshrine Pacifica, as the eleventh member of the MHOF, as he talks out of his butt instead of his mouth. To throw the constitution at someone and then try to deny that person its rights is truly a moronic quality. I wonder how many other blogs this guy has done his hit and run insults on. But, again, that is his right. I still back freedom of speech no matter how stupid and moronic it may make the person seem as long as it does not foment violence. Pacifica may have to check the dictionary to find out what 'foment' means, that is if he can read. So If you happen to see this Pacifica please let him know of his enshrinement and the 'honor' of which that I have bestowed upon him.
I look forward to battle with Bikini Bottom. I will defend Moronica to my last breath. Moronica will rule! Moronica will reign supreme! Your King is not a coward and I will not run and hide in my pod despite Pacifica's wishes. Your King is not fat, a tad overweight maybe and my picture does do me an injustice, but not fat. He calls me stupid but I have a degree from one of the finest colleges in the country. I am sure that the only degree that Pacifica has is one in Fahrenheit.
So, Mr. Pacifica you have thrown down the gauntlet and I have picked it up. The challenge is accepted. Are YOU up to it? I truly look forward to it as I have a lot of pent up tension and you are the perfect vent for it. It will be great therapy for me and I am actually feeling great as I write this. What is really, really funny is that I am defending Moronica from a moron. How ironic is that?
PS: To all of my faithful readers, it you wish to send this moron a message here is his site: http://pacifica-mayorofbikinibottom.blogspot.com
He hasn't said too much on it as it takes him a while to look up the words so that he can write them down with some semblance of coherence. That is if no one is around to help him. If you do comment it may be a while before he responds if there is no one around to read it and explain all of the big words to him.
I will write on the beaches, I will write in the trenches, I will write in the streets and I will never surrender to a picklepuss like Pacifica.
This is your King wishing you a good day and warning you to avoid the stray radiation that Pacifica is sure to use.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Upcoming Features from Moronica Pictures
A while back Twentieth Century Beaver and Moronica films merged to form the Kingdom's present film company known as Moronica Pictures. It is that time of the year to announce the upcoming movies to be released by Moronica Pictures over the remainder of the year. Here, in brief, is a listing of the movies, their major stars and a brief synopsis. Moronica Pictures is hoping that they all become blockbusters!
1) Ocean's Fourteen - Starring Robert Morone as Dan Ocean. Dan Ocean and his band of fourteen stooges form a plan to ransack a county's treasury.
2) The Mouth that Roared - Starring Joe Biden - Its about a man, who has been placed under a curse by a witch, who cannot say anything that makes sense.
3) Five Came Back II - Starring Nancy Pelosi as the lone female of a small group of Democrats who are returned to Congress after the 2010 elections.
4) Free Willy II - Starring Ben Roethlisberger - It is about a man whose willy keeps escaping from his pants and wrecking havoc among an unsuspecting population of female barflies.
5) Porky's III - Starring Michael Steele - Its about the adventures of a group of Republicans who revert back to their teenage selves and have fun at the local strip clubs using money from unsuspecting donors.
6) Creepshow III - Starring Eric Massa - Its about a man who has a fantasy about getting the last 'Tickle Me Elmo' doll available.
7) They Were Expendable II(Working Title) - Starring Barack Obama - About a group of men who change their votes at the bequest of their leader to pass a controversial bill and the havoc that ensues (Possible final title 'Armageddon II')
8) Freak Show II - Starring Congress - description unavailable at this time but I am sure whatever we can imagine will be even scarier than the movie.
9) The Miracle Worker II(Working Title)- Starring David Paterson - Its about a poor blind man who has a vision of leading a dysfunctional state government back to respectability. (Possible final title Dreamer II).
10) FORE!!!! - Starring Elin Woods - It is about a women who discovers some interesting phone numbers on her husband's cell phone and her use of a three iron on those found at the other end of those numbers.
11) Whats Mine is Mine and Whats Yours is Mine - Starring Repoman - Its about a man who discovers a clause in the Constitution allowing him to fulfill his main goal in life by foreclosing on the White House and evicting its current occupants.
12) Good Burger II - Starring the soon to be former Queen of Moronica - Its about a woman who sees a commercial starring the Burger King and her fantasy about marrying him.
Moronica Pictures hopes you will support your King and enjoy these upcoming flicks in your local theaters throughout the coming year. Live long and Prosper!
1) Ocean's Fourteen - Starring Robert Morone as Dan Ocean. Dan Ocean and his band of fourteen stooges form a plan to ransack a county's treasury.
2) The Mouth that Roared - Starring Joe Biden - Its about a man, who has been placed under a curse by a witch, who cannot say anything that makes sense.
3) Five Came Back II - Starring Nancy Pelosi as the lone female of a small group of Democrats who are returned to Congress after the 2010 elections.
4) Free Willy II - Starring Ben Roethlisberger - It is about a man whose willy keeps escaping from his pants and wrecking havoc among an unsuspecting population of female barflies.
5) Porky's III - Starring Michael Steele - Its about the adventures of a group of Republicans who revert back to their teenage selves and have fun at the local strip clubs using money from unsuspecting donors.
6) Creepshow III - Starring Eric Massa - Its about a man who has a fantasy about getting the last 'Tickle Me Elmo' doll available.
7) They Were Expendable II(Working Title) - Starring Barack Obama - About a group of men who change their votes at the bequest of their leader to pass a controversial bill and the havoc that ensues (Possible final title 'Armageddon II')
8) Freak Show II - Starring Congress - description unavailable at this time but I am sure whatever we can imagine will be even scarier than the movie.
9) The Miracle Worker II(Working Title)- Starring David Paterson - Its about a poor blind man who has a vision of leading a dysfunctional state government back to respectability. (Possible final title Dreamer II).
10) FORE!!!! - Starring Elin Woods - It is about a women who discovers some interesting phone numbers on her husband's cell phone and her use of a three iron on those found at the other end of those numbers.
11) Whats Mine is Mine and Whats Yours is Mine - Starring Repoman - Its about a man who discovers a clause in the Constitution allowing him to fulfill his main goal in life by foreclosing on the White House and evicting its current occupants.
12) Good Burger II - Starring the soon to be former Queen of Moronica - Its about a woman who sees a commercial starring the Burger King and her fantasy about marrying him.
Moronica Pictures hopes you will support your King and enjoy these upcoming flicks in your local theaters throughout the coming year. Live long and Prosper!
King vs. Golf and Bowling Again
Well I drove down to Geneseo and golfed this past weekend at the Livingston Country Club. It is a nice course with a number of challenging holes. Your King had an adventure on the course. I did not start driving the ball like I know I can until the sixth hole. My whacks on the first five holes were rather pathetic but after that they were respectable. My putting game surprised me as I putted rather well for the first time out. I only had one or two holes where my putter had a cow as I made a lot of nice putts and left myself a bunch of tap ins on the others. If I can putt like that for the rest of the year I will be a happy King. Now, the clubs that did not show up to play were my wedges and the 7-9 irons. I should have left them home as they embarrassed me to no end. At least now, when I go to Buttonwood to practice, these clubs will be worked on and they will be slapped up if they do not respond to my charms. Only time will tell.
In this first week we did have the little tourney part of it and, being a sport, I said I would participate. It was tough on the wallet as I was up against the guys who had already been out six or seven times but I am not one to refuse a challenge. I still happily donated. The weather looks iffy for this coming Sunday but if the crappola holds off I will give it a go again even though it is only supposed to get up to 60 degrees.
Going back to my driving it was made tougher as the course is still very wet and my ball tried to make like a gopher a number of times and burrow itself into the ground. I was lucky to find it as only the very top of it was visible. A few times I carried the ball over 270 yards in the air and I can only imagine how far it would have gone if the fairway was dry. The first few holes it was not a problem as the only major error it was determined that I made was that I was standing too close to my ball after I hit it.
My season at Spencerport Bowl is winding down with only one week left. We were in third place before this past Monday's action and we took six out of eight from the 'We Don't Care' team. I think that they really do care from the ranting everyone was subjected to after we spanked them in the third game. I think we may have snuck into second place and if we did we do have a chance to win the league. Collectively, as a team, we are the best bowlers average wise in the league but that is why they have a handicap system, to bone the good bowlers.
My year has been a little better overall as I have learned how to adjust a little better to the torturous shot that they put out as the so called 'house shot'. The oil completely dries up during practice and I am on my horse moving left trying to find a semblance of a line that I can exploit for a few frames before I have to move again. You cannot imagine what a pain in the ass this is. I shot a 626 this week and I earned it but did not enjoy it as I was constantly thinking about how I may have to play the next shot instead of relaxing and enjoying the company. I think the way to score better there, and it is a weakness of mine that I have to work on, is to look down the lane at the break point instead of looking at the arrow area for the ball to go over. I believe that this is the best way to get your ball to the pocket if you can consistently hit the correct break point you can and will score well there. We shall see. The owners have promised improvements and it will be interesting to see if they come through with them. They have remodeled the bar and that has really improved my game of bowling on the lanes. I think they should make sure that they resurface the lanes and then invest in an oiling machine that wasn't used in Bedrock before doing anything else. But, again, it is not my choice. A happy bowler is a returning bowler and since I like pain, and if my eventual relocation of the Kingdom of Moronica leaves me in the area, I will bowl there next year. Man, am I a glutton for punishment or what?
Well, that is enough pontificating for tonight so this is your King wishing you a pleasant evening.
In this first week we did have the little tourney part of it and, being a sport, I said I would participate. It was tough on the wallet as I was up against the guys who had already been out six or seven times but I am not one to refuse a challenge. I still happily donated. The weather looks iffy for this coming Sunday but if the crappola holds off I will give it a go again even though it is only supposed to get up to 60 degrees.
Going back to my driving it was made tougher as the course is still very wet and my ball tried to make like a gopher a number of times and burrow itself into the ground. I was lucky to find it as only the very top of it was visible. A few times I carried the ball over 270 yards in the air and I can only imagine how far it would have gone if the fairway was dry. The first few holes it was not a problem as the only major error it was determined that I made was that I was standing too close to my ball after I hit it.
My season at Spencerport Bowl is winding down with only one week left. We were in third place before this past Monday's action and we took six out of eight from the 'We Don't Care' team. I think that they really do care from the ranting everyone was subjected to after we spanked them in the third game. I think we may have snuck into second place and if we did we do have a chance to win the league. Collectively, as a team, we are the best bowlers average wise in the league but that is why they have a handicap system, to bone the good bowlers.
My year has been a little better overall as I have learned how to adjust a little better to the torturous shot that they put out as the so called 'house shot'. The oil completely dries up during practice and I am on my horse moving left trying to find a semblance of a line that I can exploit for a few frames before I have to move again. You cannot imagine what a pain in the ass this is. I shot a 626 this week and I earned it but did not enjoy it as I was constantly thinking about how I may have to play the next shot instead of relaxing and enjoying the company. I think the way to score better there, and it is a weakness of mine that I have to work on, is to look down the lane at the break point instead of looking at the arrow area for the ball to go over. I believe that this is the best way to get your ball to the pocket if you can consistently hit the correct break point you can and will score well there. We shall see. The owners have promised improvements and it will be interesting to see if they come through with them. They have remodeled the bar and that has really improved my game of bowling on the lanes. I think they should make sure that they resurface the lanes and then invest in an oiling machine that wasn't used in Bedrock before doing anything else. But, again, it is not my choice. A happy bowler is a returning bowler and since I like pain, and if my eventual relocation of the Kingdom of Moronica leaves me in the area, I will bowl there next year. Man, am I a glutton for punishment or what?
Well, that is enough pontificating for tonight so this is your King wishing you a pleasant evening.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
I Play Golf so I know all of the Words.
This March is about to set a record. According to the U.S. Weather Service there has been no measurable snow this month. Usually March is capable of producing some of this areas worst storms. Dare I bring up the Superstorm of 1993 and the Great Blizzard of 1999 but this month has been a lamb. The record lowest amount of snow in the month of March is nine tenths of an inch and unless there is some tomorrow this March will set a record.
What does that mean??? GOLF sooner than ever this spring. They say that by the end of this week we may hit 70 degrees and the urge to start whacking that ball around is driving me nuts. If the local par three course is open next weekend I will be there on Saturday and if the guys are playing, and the weather continues to cooperate, maybe a trip to Geneseo will be in the offing next Sunday. Your King is looking forward to a better year of golf than he had last year as I pretty much sucked eggs on the course. Other than a few flashes of my old self I pretty much hacked my way around the courses last year. Nothing is more frustrating than knowing what you have done in the past and then playing like a chump. I can hit the ball like a pro but my accuracy was bad and my short game touch was abysmal. This is a new year with new hopes so who knows, maybe my old self will reappear...but I doubt that knowing my luck as that black cloud continues to hover over my head. Hopefully that black cloud will be gone before the end of spring. I can only hope.
Have a happy from the King of Moronica.
What does that mean??? GOLF sooner than ever this spring. They say that by the end of this week we may hit 70 degrees and the urge to start whacking that ball around is driving me nuts. If the local par three course is open next weekend I will be there on Saturday and if the guys are playing, and the weather continues to cooperate, maybe a trip to Geneseo will be in the offing next Sunday. Your King is looking forward to a better year of golf than he had last year as I pretty much sucked eggs on the course. Other than a few flashes of my old self I pretty much hacked my way around the courses last year. Nothing is more frustrating than knowing what you have done in the past and then playing like a chump. I can hit the ball like a pro but my accuracy was bad and my short game touch was abysmal. This is a new year with new hopes so who knows, maybe my old self will reappear...but I doubt that knowing my luck as that black cloud continues to hover over my head. Hopefully that black cloud will be gone before the end of spring. I can only hope.
Have a happy from the King of Moronica.
Crown Prince Balmski
Your King's brother, Crown Prince Blamski, endured, I mean enjoyed his fiftieth birthday party with the Royal Family last night at Fratelli's Restaurant. With some of the stories from his youth that he regaled us with it is amazing that he made it to fifty. He is a big guy with a big heart and I wish him many more.
King on Hockey
Your beloved King has been a hockey fan for as long as he can remember. The Buffalo Sabres have always been my favorite team so I am happy to see them back in the playoffs again after a two year sabbatical. But, I have never been a big fan of Sabre coach Mindy Ruff from day one. His system that he has his team play seems to stifle the offensive imagination of his players. All they seem to do is to put the puck in the corner and then skate round and round with it in the corner. I guess they call that cycling the puck...I call it boring.
The Sabres do have an interesting collection of players, some I enjoy watching and others that drive me nuts. Patrick Kaleta is one player that I enjoy watching as he is a pest with speed and it seems really good hands when he has the puck. He reminds me of Ken Linesman when he was a star in the league. Ken was nicknamed 'The Rat' and I can see this nickname being placed on Kaleta as he loves to get under the skin of other players and boy can he deliver a good clean hit. Tyler Myers is another player to watch. Just wait until he fills out and gets stronger. He will eventually be the Sabres highest paid player and he will deserve it. Ryan Miller, well I do not have enough accolades for him.
Now we have some of the other players that seem to drive me nuts. Tomas Vanish...I mean Vanek comes to mind. He is paid like a fifty goal scorer but he will be lucky to net 25 this year. Is it Mindy Ruff's system or what. He signed a huge front loaded contract a couple of years ago and actually, at the time, looked like he was going to earn it but he has regressed significantly since then. Tiny Tim Connolly is one of the Sabres best penalty killers...too bad he plays on the power play. He has successfully killed off more Sabre power plays than the opposition. Somehow this guy leads the team in scoring, how I will never know.
Another thing that drives me nuts about Mindy Ruff is his use of his goalies. I can understand riding Ryan Miller until he drops but I feel for poor Patrick Lalime. He is a good goaltender who sits and rots on the Sabre bench. He gets to play once every two weeks or so and then people wonder why he is not sharp. He had a conditioning assignment for a weekend in the AHL a while back and played like the Lalime of old after it. It is amazing how being able to play a little bit can get your skills sharpened up again. Then Mindy sat him on the bench and again he rotted. I like Lalime but he needs to play a bit more. Pretty soon Miller's arms are going to fall off from being overworked. It is happening now in Vancouver to Roberto Luongo and I pray it won't happen to Ryan. I also congratulate Lalime on getting his 200th victory last night against Tampa. He is a nice guy and he deserves whatever accolades he can get. He is great in the locker room, knows what his role is and he does not complain as he is the ultimate trooper. He deserves a little more playing time.
The other players on the Sabres are rather ordinary. They do their jobs and this season, for the most part, they have done it well unless, of course, they play Ottawa but that is another story.
I also wish a get well to Mike Robitaille as he recovers from his ailment and hopefully a quick return to the television.
Your King also wants to congratulate the Rochester Institute of Technology in their making the Frozen Four in their first appearance in the NCAA division 1 hockey playoffs. They upset Denver and crushed New Hampshire in their first two games and have done this area proud. Lets root them on and hope they can come back with the trophy. Geez, it was not to long ago they were playing the likes of Geneseo State and Hobart and now look where they are. Go get them Tigers!!!
PS: I do know that the Sabres coach's name is Lindy but I prefer Mindy.
The Sabres do have an interesting collection of players, some I enjoy watching and others that drive me nuts. Patrick Kaleta is one player that I enjoy watching as he is a pest with speed and it seems really good hands when he has the puck. He reminds me of Ken Linesman when he was a star in the league. Ken was nicknamed 'The Rat' and I can see this nickname being placed on Kaleta as he loves to get under the skin of other players and boy can he deliver a good clean hit. Tyler Myers is another player to watch. Just wait until he fills out and gets stronger. He will eventually be the Sabres highest paid player and he will deserve it. Ryan Miller, well I do not have enough accolades for him.
Now we have some of the other players that seem to drive me nuts. Tomas Vanish...I mean Vanek comes to mind. He is paid like a fifty goal scorer but he will be lucky to net 25 this year. Is it Mindy Ruff's system or what. He signed a huge front loaded contract a couple of years ago and actually, at the time, looked like he was going to earn it but he has regressed significantly since then. Tiny Tim Connolly is one of the Sabres best penalty killers...too bad he plays on the power play. He has successfully killed off more Sabre power plays than the opposition. Somehow this guy leads the team in scoring, how I will never know.
Another thing that drives me nuts about Mindy Ruff is his use of his goalies. I can understand riding Ryan Miller until he drops but I feel for poor Patrick Lalime. He is a good goaltender who sits and rots on the Sabre bench. He gets to play once every two weeks or so and then people wonder why he is not sharp. He had a conditioning assignment for a weekend in the AHL a while back and played like the Lalime of old after it. It is amazing how being able to play a little bit can get your skills sharpened up again. Then Mindy sat him on the bench and again he rotted. I like Lalime but he needs to play a bit more. Pretty soon Miller's arms are going to fall off from being overworked. It is happening now in Vancouver to Roberto Luongo and I pray it won't happen to Ryan. I also congratulate Lalime on getting his 200th victory last night against Tampa. He is a nice guy and he deserves whatever accolades he can get. He is great in the locker room, knows what his role is and he does not complain as he is the ultimate trooper. He deserves a little more playing time.
The other players on the Sabres are rather ordinary. They do their jobs and this season, for the most part, they have done it well unless, of course, they play Ottawa but that is another story.
I also wish a get well to Mike Robitaille as he recovers from his ailment and hopefully a quick return to the television.
Your King also wants to congratulate the Rochester Institute of Technology in their making the Frozen Four in their first appearance in the NCAA division 1 hockey playoffs. They upset Denver and crushed New Hampshire in their first two games and have done this area proud. Lets root them on and hope they can come back with the trophy. Geez, it was not to long ago they were playing the likes of Geneseo State and Hobart and now look where they are. Go get them Tigers!!!
PS: I do know that the Sabres coach's name is Lindy but I prefer Mindy.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Assault on the King
It has been commented that I am a hater of the Constitution, should move to Europe and am stupid in regards to the comments that I made about an extremist group. Well, this boy here is not a Constitution hater as it gives me, and the guy that slammed me, the right to say whatever is on my mind. I use that right as does Mr. Pacifica, whoever he is, because there are things that need to be addressed. He may find what I write stupid and that is his right and if he feels like commenting some more I say go ahead, as long as it is not obscene.
He claims that what I wrote a couple of blogs ago is stupid. Well lets bring up some points that I stressed and see.
1) I am against extremism. That must be stupid.
2) I am against violence of any kind. THAT must be stupid.
3) I am against the use of racial epithets. That must be stupid.
4) I am against the use of anti gay slurs. That must be stupid.
5) I am for giving the new Health Care bill a chance. That could be stupid.
6) I am for Democrats and Republicans working together to better America. That must be stupid.
7) I am against the continued and growing polarization of this country. That must be stupid.
8) I am against people espousing violence in their writings. That must be stupid.
9) I am for continued and deeper education in history for our young people so that lessons learned from the past will not be repeated. That must be stupid.
10) I am against the cowards that call and leave anonymous messages of hatred and threats of violence against our elected officials. That must be stupid.
11) I am against the criminal element that extremism tends to bring out. That must be stupid.
Well, after reviewing the above and being called stupid for it I guess I am stupid for my stances listed above. It is my right to be 'stupid'. It is my right to say that I do not believe in what certain groups diatribe about. I do not care for the Tea Party people. I despise the Ku Klux Klan and the hatred they represent. I do not like any group that uses violence to promote their ideas. I have the right to say this as this is America. I love our Constitution. We have the best country in the world and this country gives me the right to say what I want to say, whether people think what I say is stupid or not. This Mr. Pacifica has no postings on his blog. Why doesn't he write? Maybe he is afraid that I may agree with some of the things that he believes in and thereby not be as stupid in his eyes as he claims I am? Well then again, maybe he does not know how to write but that is being mean on my part. I challenge you Mr. Pacifica to start letting us all know what you believe in instead of just making comments about people being stupid just because they are not in line with your way of thinking. As King of Moronica I am issuing a Royal Order for you to let us know what your stance on things is and why the points that I have made above are stupid. I challenge you to dig down and make an effort to put your thoughts down and let us see what you believe is the smart way to go about life in America instead of having a blank blog site. I challenge you. Now, let us see if you are up to the challenge and are not afraid of what other people may think of your thoughts. I look forward to your muses.
Have a Nice day. And I truly mean that.
He claims that what I wrote a couple of blogs ago is stupid. Well lets bring up some points that I stressed and see.
1) I am against extremism. That must be stupid.
2) I am against violence of any kind. THAT must be stupid.
3) I am against the use of racial epithets. That must be stupid.
4) I am against the use of anti gay slurs. That must be stupid.
5) I am for giving the new Health Care bill a chance. That could be stupid.
6) I am for Democrats and Republicans working together to better America. That must be stupid.
7) I am against the continued and growing polarization of this country. That must be stupid.
8) I am against people espousing violence in their writings. That must be stupid.
9) I am for continued and deeper education in history for our young people so that lessons learned from the past will not be repeated. That must be stupid.
10) I am against the cowards that call and leave anonymous messages of hatred and threats of violence against our elected officials. That must be stupid.
11) I am against the criminal element that extremism tends to bring out. That must be stupid.
Well, after reviewing the above and being called stupid for it I guess I am stupid for my stances listed above. It is my right to be 'stupid'. It is my right to say that I do not believe in what certain groups diatribe about. I do not care for the Tea Party people. I despise the Ku Klux Klan and the hatred they represent. I do not like any group that uses violence to promote their ideas. I have the right to say this as this is America. I love our Constitution. We have the best country in the world and this country gives me the right to say what I want to say, whether people think what I say is stupid or not. This Mr. Pacifica has no postings on his blog. Why doesn't he write? Maybe he is afraid that I may agree with some of the things that he believes in and thereby not be as stupid in his eyes as he claims I am? Well then again, maybe he does not know how to write but that is being mean on my part. I challenge you Mr. Pacifica to start letting us all know what you believe in instead of just making comments about people being stupid just because they are not in line with your way of thinking. As King of Moronica I am issuing a Royal Order for you to let us know what your stance on things is and why the points that I have made above are stupid. I challenge you to dig down and make an effort to put your thoughts down and let us see what you believe is the smart way to go about life in America instead of having a blank blog site. I challenge you. Now, let us see if you are up to the challenge and are not afraid of what other people may think of your thoughts. I look forward to your muses.
Have a Nice day. And I truly mean that.
Your King Finally Contacts Santa
When last I spoke with Santa he was going to Washington D.C. to try to see President Obama about obtaining stimulus funds to keep his workshop fully employed. Well, I finally got a chance to speak with him and the poor guy went through one hell of an ordeal. Please refer back to the news article excerpt I posted on 9/15/09 for additional information in regards to this ordeal. The funny thing is that I had to call him on his cell phone as he is not at his workshop. He is home but under medical care at this time but should be back to work soon, we hope. Here is that conversation.
"Hello?"
"Hi Santa this is your friend Dinglefritz, I have had a hell of a time trying to get a hold of you but at last I finally have."
"Well hi there Dingle! Its good to hear a friendly voice again. My wife finally gave me my cell phone back after the Doctor said it was okay."
"Doctor? I assume this has something to do with your visit to Washington to see President Obama and what happened. It did make all of the newspapers."
"Oh, I will tell you Dingle that I never want to go through that again. Some people do not respect their elders. It was the ordeal from hell"
"The paper said that the Secret Service agents had to taser you five times.."
"They said only five times???? I was just sitting there waiting and they zapped me at least fifteen times, maybe more as I may have briefly passed out. When I regained my senses there were at least ten goons on top of me beating the ever living crap out of me. Now look at me Dingle, I am old and fat, I was no threat to anybody. All I wanted to do was to speak with the President."
"Didn't you try to make an appointment?"
"Yes but they laughed at me and hung up when I told them who I was and what I wanted to see him about."
"They also said that they took you to Bellevue Hospital for observation and treatment."
"They said that, huh? Well, If I went to Bellevue I am the Easter Bunny. I went to some place, I do not know where as I was blindfolded, and spent fifteen days undergoing the worst imaginable torture.'
"Why did you not use your famed abilities to get away?"
"I was under constant guard and chained to the wall. And the few times they unchained me they took me to this room where they put me on some kind of see-saw type board and dunked me repeatedly in water and they then kept asking me questions about some guy named Bin Laden when I surfaced. I kept telling them who I was but they kept on dunking me. Then they took me to another room where they attached electrodes to places that I cannot imagine anyone would ever attach electrodes to. Oh Dingle, It is an experience I would not wish on the Miser Brothers."
"But you finally did get away."
"On the fifteenth day they finally relaxed their guard and left me unchained and I was able to get out. I then spent the next three months at a rest home in France recovering from my ordeal and then the Doctors there allowed me to come home for further rest and treatment. Only now has my personal Doctor lightened the rules and allowed me to have my cell phone back and hopefully by the end of April I can start spending some time at the workshop, only an hour or so at a time, but I have Hermy running it in my absence and he does a good job as he runs it when I take my yearly trip to the Bahamas after I make my worldwide delivery on Christmas. I am still a nervous wreck but I am getting better."
"I just cannot believe what happened to you Santa could happen here in the USA. How can they even think that you may have been associated with Bin Laden?"
"I do not know but there are people in the US Government that will not be getting any visits from me on Christmas anymore. They are on my permanent bad list. Well, Dingle, the wife just walked in the room and she is letting me know it is time for me to get some more rest. And she can be more of a pain than the Doctor is. I have to go now and please give me a call later this summer when I should be somewhat back to normal. Jessica, Jessica, at least let me say.....click"
Well, though I did not have a chance to say goodbye, it was good hearing his voice again. Hopefully by December he will again be that jolly old man that we have come to know and love. At least we have all learned a valuable lesson, never try to see the President without an appointment.
This is your King wishing you a pleasant day from the Kingdom of Moronica.
"Hello?"
"Hi Santa this is your friend Dinglefritz, I have had a hell of a time trying to get a hold of you but at last I finally have."
"Well hi there Dingle! Its good to hear a friendly voice again. My wife finally gave me my cell phone back after the Doctor said it was okay."
"Doctor? I assume this has something to do with your visit to Washington to see President Obama and what happened. It did make all of the newspapers."
"Oh, I will tell you Dingle that I never want to go through that again. Some people do not respect their elders. It was the ordeal from hell"
"The paper said that the Secret Service agents had to taser you five times.."
"They said only five times???? I was just sitting there waiting and they zapped me at least fifteen times, maybe more as I may have briefly passed out. When I regained my senses there were at least ten goons on top of me beating the ever living crap out of me. Now look at me Dingle, I am old and fat, I was no threat to anybody. All I wanted to do was to speak with the President."
"Didn't you try to make an appointment?"
"Yes but they laughed at me and hung up when I told them who I was and what I wanted to see him about."
"They also said that they took you to Bellevue Hospital for observation and treatment."
"They said that, huh? Well, If I went to Bellevue I am the Easter Bunny. I went to some place, I do not know where as I was blindfolded, and spent fifteen days undergoing the worst imaginable torture.'
"Why did you not use your famed abilities to get away?"
"I was under constant guard and chained to the wall. And the few times they unchained me they took me to this room where they put me on some kind of see-saw type board and dunked me repeatedly in water and they then kept asking me questions about some guy named Bin Laden when I surfaced. I kept telling them who I was but they kept on dunking me. Then they took me to another room where they attached electrodes to places that I cannot imagine anyone would ever attach electrodes to. Oh Dingle, It is an experience I would not wish on the Miser Brothers."
"But you finally did get away."
"On the fifteenth day they finally relaxed their guard and left me unchained and I was able to get out. I then spent the next three months at a rest home in France recovering from my ordeal and then the Doctors there allowed me to come home for further rest and treatment. Only now has my personal Doctor lightened the rules and allowed me to have my cell phone back and hopefully by the end of April I can start spending some time at the workshop, only an hour or so at a time, but I have Hermy running it in my absence and he does a good job as he runs it when I take my yearly trip to the Bahamas after I make my worldwide delivery on Christmas. I am still a nervous wreck but I am getting better."
"I just cannot believe what happened to you Santa could happen here in the USA. How can they even think that you may have been associated with Bin Laden?"
"I do not know but there are people in the US Government that will not be getting any visits from me on Christmas anymore. They are on my permanent bad list. Well, Dingle, the wife just walked in the room and she is letting me know it is time for me to get some more rest. And she can be more of a pain than the Doctor is. I have to go now and please give me a call later this summer when I should be somewhat back to normal. Jessica, Jessica, at least let me say.....click"
Well, though I did not have a chance to say goodbye, it was good hearing his voice again. Hopefully by December he will again be that jolly old man that we have come to know and love. At least we have all learned a valuable lesson, never try to see the President without an appointment.
This is your King wishing you a pleasant day from the Kingdom of Moronica.
Friday, March 26, 2010
A Worriesome Comparison
I am going to be serious for a moment about a trend that disturbs me greatly. I will preface this by saying that those that do not learn from history are bound to repeat it and it is hard to believe that this kind of history is re-blossoming here in the USA. I am talking about a splinter group of the 'Tea Party' movement, and only this splinter group and members thereof, that seems to be infesting our great country right now. I hate to say this but I have to compare these people and movement to the Nazi S.A.(S.A.) that arose during the 1930s in Germany.
Lets do the comparison:
The S.A. were an ultra right wing group and the Tea Party extremist splinter group is an ultra right wing group.
As a student of WWII I remember what is called 'The Night of the Broken Glass'. What some members of this group have been espousing is the throwing of bricks through the front glass windows of Congressman's offices. While this has, at this time, come to nowhere near the extent of what happened during this night when the S.A. went bananas and broke thousands of windows of stores that were owned by the Jewish merchants you can feel the extremism of this group growing. I have to compare that lunatic blogger Mr. Vanderboegh (spelling?), who is advocating this type of brick throwing violence, to the leaders of the S.A. Violence of any type begets more and deeper violence. This can be seen by people leaving messages for Congressman to the effect that snipers will be on the lookout for them and their relatives. These message leavers are very sick in the head. Someone actually left an envelope of white powder in an office but it was later deemed not to be harmful but the threat there is implied.
Extremist members of the Tea Party group have been hurling racial and anti gay epithets at our representatives in Congress outside of the Capitol Building and the S.A. were good at doing the same thing towards the Jewish people. It is a shame that people in this country still resort to such barbaric crap. A lot of Republicans have come out against this type of garbage and more should become vocal and denounce it.
Republicans do not want to come out and speak against this group as a whole who will solidly vote for them but Tea Party splinter group activities, I am sure, worry a great number of them. The S.A. also worried Hitler and he did something about it. Hitler had the leadership of the S.A. wiped out. Ernst Roehm was shot, well actually he was given a gun and it was recommended to him that he use it on himself. The Nazi S.S. took care of the rest of them. The leaderless S.A. was then absorbed into the army.
I want it to be made perfectly clear that I am not saying that Republicans are comparable to the Nazis, they are just the minority party at this time doing to the Democrats what the Democrats did to them when they were in power. It is this splinter group of the Tea Party that I bring these comparisons against. The great big difference here is that the Nazi leadership was behind the S.A. until they became a problem near the end of the Thirties and were dealt with.
The reason for all this petty violence, epithets and drama?: The new Health Care (HC) bill.
The Democrats are only trying to do what they believe to be the best thing for our country, and it will take time to see how the HC bill works out. Back in the 1930s the Republicans railed against the New Deal and were vowing to have it repealed, just like the present HC bill, but when Eisenhower was elected nothing became of this as the New Deal gradually won favor. Maybe it will happen with this bill too but only time will tell. The HC bill is not perfect, far from it, but it is a start and instead of pissing and moaning and vowing its repeal maybe the GOP, along with the Democrats, should start working on ways to make it better. But we all know that will not happen. I am a big proponent of bipartisan efforts to run this country but, unfortunately, that is years away when hopefully more reasonable people will be in government. The funny thing is that Republican ex-senator William Frist has gone on record saying that he would have voted FOR this bill. I do find it strange that not a single Republican shared his view, well at least not in public. I will always wonder what the results of a secret ballot would have been.
The Tea Party extremist splinter group is a small group of nutcases at this time, but then again so was the S.A. in the early thirties, and I hope and believe that membership in this group will not grow as Americans are now seeing what kind of people are members of this band of idiots. I have faith in the population of this country to not allow this group to become another modern day S.A. History is there to be studied and at this time it should be to prevent hooliganism from running rampant in our streets as it was in Thirties Germany. I know we are better than this. We need to work together and extremists of any group will not allow this to happen.
Well that is enough for now. This blog has upset your King's digestion so now I have to take some Pepto Bismol but I had to get this off my chest as hatred, stupidity and violence need to be eliminated from our society.
Lets do the comparison:
The S.A. were an ultra right wing group and the Tea Party extremist splinter group is an ultra right wing group.
As a student of WWII I remember what is called 'The Night of the Broken Glass'. What some members of this group have been espousing is the throwing of bricks through the front glass windows of Congressman's offices. While this has, at this time, come to nowhere near the extent of what happened during this night when the S.A. went bananas and broke thousands of windows of stores that were owned by the Jewish merchants you can feel the extremism of this group growing. I have to compare that lunatic blogger Mr. Vanderboegh (spelling?), who is advocating this type of brick throwing violence, to the leaders of the S.A. Violence of any type begets more and deeper violence. This can be seen by people leaving messages for Congressman to the effect that snipers will be on the lookout for them and their relatives. These message leavers are very sick in the head. Someone actually left an envelope of white powder in an office but it was later deemed not to be harmful but the threat there is implied.
Extremist members of the Tea Party group have been hurling racial and anti gay epithets at our representatives in Congress outside of the Capitol Building and the S.A. were good at doing the same thing towards the Jewish people. It is a shame that people in this country still resort to such barbaric crap. A lot of Republicans have come out against this type of garbage and more should become vocal and denounce it.
Republicans do not want to come out and speak against this group as a whole who will solidly vote for them but Tea Party splinter group activities, I am sure, worry a great number of them. The S.A. also worried Hitler and he did something about it. Hitler had the leadership of the S.A. wiped out. Ernst Roehm was shot, well actually he was given a gun and it was recommended to him that he use it on himself. The Nazi S.S. took care of the rest of them. The leaderless S.A. was then absorbed into the army.
I want it to be made perfectly clear that I am not saying that Republicans are comparable to the Nazis, they are just the minority party at this time doing to the Democrats what the Democrats did to them when they were in power. It is this splinter group of the Tea Party that I bring these comparisons against. The great big difference here is that the Nazi leadership was behind the S.A. until they became a problem near the end of the Thirties and were dealt with.
The reason for all this petty violence, epithets and drama?: The new Health Care (HC) bill.
The Democrats are only trying to do what they believe to be the best thing for our country, and it will take time to see how the HC bill works out. Back in the 1930s the Republicans railed against the New Deal and were vowing to have it repealed, just like the present HC bill, but when Eisenhower was elected nothing became of this as the New Deal gradually won favor. Maybe it will happen with this bill too but only time will tell. The HC bill is not perfect, far from it, but it is a start and instead of pissing and moaning and vowing its repeal maybe the GOP, along with the Democrats, should start working on ways to make it better. But we all know that will not happen. I am a big proponent of bipartisan efforts to run this country but, unfortunately, that is years away when hopefully more reasonable people will be in government. The funny thing is that Republican ex-senator William Frist has gone on record saying that he would have voted FOR this bill. I do find it strange that not a single Republican shared his view, well at least not in public. I will always wonder what the results of a secret ballot would have been.
The Tea Party extremist splinter group is a small group of nutcases at this time, but then again so was the S.A. in the early thirties, and I hope and believe that membership in this group will not grow as Americans are now seeing what kind of people are members of this band of idiots. I have faith in the population of this country to not allow this group to become another modern day S.A. History is there to be studied and at this time it should be to prevent hooliganism from running rampant in our streets as it was in Thirties Germany. I know we are better than this. We need to work together and extremists of any group will not allow this to happen.
Well that is enough for now. This blog has upset your King's digestion so now I have to take some Pepto Bismol but I had to get this off my chest as hatred, stupidity and violence need to be eliminated from our society.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Moronically Interesting Stuff
1) While reading today's paper I found an article where New York's favorite girlfriend abuser, who was booted out of the NY State senate and rightfully so, is now running again to regain his seat. Hiram Monserrat, who with is senate buddy Espada from the Bronx put the New York state government in turmoil last summer, is running for his old seat on the 'Yes We Can' party line. Yes we can what?? Yes we can make our state government a bigger joke than it already is? This guy should just fade off into the sunset and be thanking his lucky stars that he is not in jail.
2) I am very upset with President Obama. I am a huge space exploration fanatic, and I am not talking about the space between my ears, and I am disgusted that he cancelled the latest effort to return to the moon. One thing I did like about George Bush was that he seemed to be a big space exploration fan too. The technological spin offs that have resulted from man's effort to explore space far outweigh the money that has been spent on it. Too much of our hard earned money is going towards crap. Space exploration is not crap.
3) Your King is a student of World War II and I just have to do this. I am making former British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain an honorary member of the Moronica Hall of Fame. Adolph Hitler made a complete fool of him at Munich when he signed that worthless piece of paper that Mr. Chamberlain came off the plane waving when he returned home. Hitler said to Goering, after fat old Herman remarked to him about the signing, that he had no intention of honoring that agreement period. Hitler played Chamberlain like a bass fiddle so I give Neville the honor of enshrinement into the MHOF. If the allies showed some resolve while the German Army was still relatively weak who knows what might have happened. Maybe a lot more people would have survived the decade of the forties.
4) I am also honorarily enshrining Jar Jar Binks of Naboo into my MHOF. Speaking of bass fiddles Chancellor Palpatine sure played Jar Jar for one when he planted the idea of proposing to the Galactic Senate that they should give the Chancellor supreme emergency powers during the rebellion. That led to the formation of the empire and a lot of people getting offed. Thanks Jar Jar for that mighty bit of Moronica.
5) Your King has a weakness this time of year for those Cadbury Creme Easter Eggs that they put out for us to enjoy. Now last year at Wegmans they cost $1.79 for a package of four. This year they cost $2.19 for the same package. Is this some kind of joke? Has inflation only hit Cadbury Eggs? The cost of living has remained relatively flat during the duration of this recession but not when it comes to these Cadbury Eggs. Shame on Wegmans for this huge price increase that they have foisted upon us during this period of hard times. Tasty Cadbury Eggs usually put a smile on your King's puss but not this year. I have not bought one yet from Wegmans and will not until they bring the price back down. Your King could sure use a smile maker during this period of my reign but I guess it will not be coming from Cadbury.
Well, that is enough Moronica for today. This is your King wishing you a pleasant day.
2) I am very upset with President Obama. I am a huge space exploration fanatic, and I am not talking about the space between my ears, and I am disgusted that he cancelled the latest effort to return to the moon. One thing I did like about George Bush was that he seemed to be a big space exploration fan too. The technological spin offs that have resulted from man's effort to explore space far outweigh the money that has been spent on it. Too much of our hard earned money is going towards crap. Space exploration is not crap.
3) Your King is a student of World War II and I just have to do this. I am making former British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain an honorary member of the Moronica Hall of Fame. Adolph Hitler made a complete fool of him at Munich when he signed that worthless piece of paper that Mr. Chamberlain came off the plane waving when he returned home. Hitler said to Goering, after fat old Herman remarked to him about the signing, that he had no intention of honoring that agreement period. Hitler played Chamberlain like a bass fiddle so I give Neville the honor of enshrinement into the MHOF. If the allies showed some resolve while the German Army was still relatively weak who knows what might have happened. Maybe a lot more people would have survived the decade of the forties.
4) I am also honorarily enshrining Jar Jar Binks of Naboo into my MHOF. Speaking of bass fiddles Chancellor Palpatine sure played Jar Jar for one when he planted the idea of proposing to the Galactic Senate that they should give the Chancellor supreme emergency powers during the rebellion. That led to the formation of the empire and a lot of people getting offed. Thanks Jar Jar for that mighty bit of Moronica.
5) Your King has a weakness this time of year for those Cadbury Creme Easter Eggs that they put out for us to enjoy. Now last year at Wegmans they cost $1.79 for a package of four. This year they cost $2.19 for the same package. Is this some kind of joke? Has inflation only hit Cadbury Eggs? The cost of living has remained relatively flat during the duration of this recession but not when it comes to these Cadbury Eggs. Shame on Wegmans for this huge price increase that they have foisted upon us during this period of hard times. Tasty Cadbury Eggs usually put a smile on your King's puss but not this year. I have not bought one yet from Wegmans and will not until they bring the price back down. Your King could sure use a smile maker during this period of my reign but I guess it will not be coming from Cadbury.
Well, that is enough Moronica for today. This is your King wishing you a pleasant day.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Ticklefests in Washington!!
It seems that our local Congressman, Eric Massa, has left the building. He was accused of being the head tickle master at a staff function back in January by some of his male staff members. That is strange considering his military background and the fact the he is married, though nowadays that may have little meaning. If I was in Washington I certainly would be trying to work on legislation instead of trying to tickle the guys. He is a strange one. Now your King is not against tickle fests, as long as I am the only male participating, and you can bet the house that I will not be in a guys only tickle fest any time soon. Ugh.
I would have loved to have seen the results of the House Ethics Committee probe but that is now moot as, like Sir Robin from Monty Python's Holy Grail, Eric bravely turned his tail and fled. Now, he also brings up that he has had a relapse of his illness and for that I wish him the best and hope he beats it again and for that reason alone I will not make him a new member of my Moronica Hall of Fame, as much as he really does deserve an entry into it.
Eric also claims that the Democratic hierarchy forced him out by bringing all of this garbage out into the open because of his stance on health care reform. I find this hard to believe because a democratic vote is a democratic vote and now, with the forthcoming special election his seat will most certainly revert back into republican hands. Why would the Democrat bigwigs want that?? He also claims that Emanuel Rahm(I am sure I butchered this name) is the devil's spawn and he may be but that does not matter at this time.
Eric's resignation has left us without representation. I thought he was a fighter but I guess he is a chicken. We can now all sing "When danger reared its ugly head Eric bravely turned his tail and fled..brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Eric'.
I guess I have said enough tonight. My fingers need to be brought back slowly into blogging form. Heaven forbid I get finger tendinitis just when things are getting interesting in your King's life, NY State Government and the National scene. I just cannot wait to write about our lame duck governor and his misadventures. Good night from Moronica.
I would have loved to have seen the results of the House Ethics Committee probe but that is now moot as, like Sir Robin from Monty Python's Holy Grail, Eric bravely turned his tail and fled. Now, he also brings up that he has had a relapse of his illness and for that I wish him the best and hope he beats it again and for that reason alone I will not make him a new member of my Moronica Hall of Fame, as much as he really does deserve an entry into it.
Eric also claims that the Democratic hierarchy forced him out by bringing all of this garbage out into the open because of his stance on health care reform. I find this hard to believe because a democratic vote is a democratic vote and now, with the forthcoming special election his seat will most certainly revert back into republican hands. Why would the Democrat bigwigs want that?? He also claims that Emanuel Rahm(I am sure I butchered this name) is the devil's spawn and he may be but that does not matter at this time.
Eric's resignation has left us without representation. I thought he was a fighter but I guess he is a chicken. We can now all sing "When danger reared its ugly head Eric bravely turned his tail and fled..brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Eric'.
I guess I have said enough tonight. My fingers need to be brought back slowly into blogging form. Heaven forbid I get finger tendinitis just when things are getting interesting in your King's life, NY State Government and the National scene. I just cannot wait to write about our lame duck governor and his misadventures. Good night from Moronica.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Your King Returns but Abdication is Near!
In the near future your King will be forced to set up his monarchy in exile. Moronica is now up for sale. It seems my Queen has decided that being the Queen of Moronica was not good enough for her and decided to start seeing someone else, who I will call 'the Burger King'. It is a little frustrating but I say good bye and good riddance. Your King is happily looking forward to setting up a new government in exile free of the Queen and her killer omelets. I would like to say more but the situation dictates at this time that I not. BUT, stay tuned for future updates because as soon as my new government is set up the fun begins. The truth will set me free!
Your King now recommends a boycott of all Burger Kings in Monroe County in protest of the situation I am in right now. Your King has learned a valuable and costly lesson.... One that will probably not be repeated unless I am a complete moron.
Moronica will not fall. Moronica will continue to reign supreme...Just look at Eric Massa for example. Moronica is forever. Your King will continue to rule Moronica from wherever I am forced to be. Please continue to support your King in this transition period. Be patient my friends and I will soon return to form and put a smile on all of your pusses as I rant and rave about morons throughout the world and believe me there is plenty of material that is available at this time (Thank you David Paterson!). Until I write again...Stay thirsty my friends!! Thirsty for my muses!
Moronica Uber Alles!!!
Your King now recommends a boycott of all Burger Kings in Monroe County in protest of the situation I am in right now. Your King has learned a valuable and costly lesson.... One that will probably not be repeated unless I am a complete moron.
Moronica will not fall. Moronica will continue to reign supreme...Just look at Eric Massa for example. Moronica is forever. Your King will continue to rule Moronica from wherever I am forced to be. Please continue to support your King in this transition period. Be patient my friends and I will soon return to form and put a smile on all of your pusses as I rant and rave about morons throughout the world and believe me there is plenty of material that is available at this time (Thank you David Paterson!). Until I write again...Stay thirsty my friends!! Thirsty for my muses!
Moronica Uber Alles!!!
Thursday, February 18, 2010
My Return
Sometime in the very near future I will return to the blog waves with, what I believe, will be some very interesting stuff about life in Moronica. Your King has not enjoyed the last few months and it will all be expounded upon when the time is right. I have not forgotten about you but I have found it very hard to write at this time. I do have things I want to write about but the energy level is not there but once the dotted line is signed the truth will be revealed. Keep checking back ever so often as someday soon the gloves will come off.
Your King.
Your King.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Merry Christmas from Moronica
Your King wishes all of his readers a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year as I take a break from blogging to recharge my humor battery which is quite low at this time. Suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder I do find it hard to be 'myself' at times this time of the year. Bear with me my friends and hopefully 2010 will be full of humor as I will be more than happy to see 2009, which could be the worst year in Moronican history, come to a close. Again, my friends, Merry Christmas!!!
PS: Now that Christmas is over maybe Santa will pick up the phone and answer my call, but then again he does vacation in the Bahamas right after he finishes. To bad I can't be with him.
PS: Now that Christmas is over maybe Santa will pick up the phone and answer my call, but then again he does vacation in the Bahamas right after he finishes. To bad I can't be with him.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Tenth Inductee into the Moronica Hall of Fame
My oh my, do I have the newest member of my MHOF ready to be inducted. This inductee is someone I never could possibly imagine EVER being inducted into my MHOF but I must do what I must do. This inductee has been purported to be the first billion dollar athlete, but in about a year he will be worth about half that, if he is lucky. This inductee had the world as his oyster. This inductee has a beautiful Swedish model trophy wife yet wasn't satisfied. This man is Tiger Woods.
Tiger, oh Tiger, what could you possibly be thinking? As of this moment there seem to be at least four women that you have dallied with. Methinks Elliot Spitzer is jealous as he had to pay for his. According to the news wire you had a 31 month affair with a cocktail waitress by the name of Jaimee Grubbs. Grubbs??? Two others that I have names for are Rachel Uchitel, who denies it, and Kalike Moguin. Tiger, I cannot believe that you could be unfaithful to Erin with a woman by the name of Grubbs.
Now, there are some serious questions that need to be answered. Here are a few:
1) As Tiger was pulling out of his driveway was his drive slicing or hooking? And where, oh where, was he heading at 2:30 in the morning?
2) Where did his wife Elin so quickly get a hold of a three iron? Or would a better club have been a 'mashie"?
3) Did Elin take any 'divots' as she was 'teeing' off?
4) What was par for Tiger's head?
5) Did golf guru Butch Harmon give Elin any lessons on making the proper 'swing'?
6) Was Tiger's apology for his 'transgressions' plain or was it the Jerry Falwell type where the tears are flowing?
7) Is Tiger so stupid that he couldn't realize that if he left a message, on tape, for his mistress to change her greeting, that this message would not surface in the future?
Now we see that poor Tiger will get four points on his license and will have to pay a traffic ticket in the amount of $164. Oh my, where is going to come up with that? He also did $3,200 in damage to the hydrant and the tree. And we don't even have the estimate yet to fix his car. Oh how the 'costs' are climbing for poor Tiger and its only just beginning.
Tiger loves his privacy but what Tiger does not seem to realize that if you are in public life everything is scrutinized. Every little, well not in his case as it definitely ain't little, transgression gets magnified greatly but the press. He has apologized but he still expects to keep his privacy...sorry to say Tiger but that ain't gonna happen. Too many people are interested in you. Thierry Henry of France thanks you for taking the spotlight off his world famous handball. You have let down too many people by this error in judgment. But screwing around with four..FOUR women..that we know of at this time, is absolutely mind boggling. Going back to his apology he never admits to anything other than 'transgressions'. But then again, he really does not have to admit to anything else than that. He is just a golfer, albeit the best in the world, not an elected official. It will be interesting to see how all of companies that pay him to represent their products react. Some companies actually do have scruples.
Your King was a big fan of yours but now I hope Elin cleans you out. You deserve it you chump.
So, If you see Tiger Woods please let him know of his induction into my Moronica Hall of Fame and the honor that has been bestowed upon him.
Tiger, oh Tiger, what could you possibly be thinking? As of this moment there seem to be at least four women that you have dallied with. Methinks Elliot Spitzer is jealous as he had to pay for his. According to the news wire you had a 31 month affair with a cocktail waitress by the name of Jaimee Grubbs. Grubbs??? Two others that I have names for are Rachel Uchitel, who denies it, and Kalike Moguin. Tiger, I cannot believe that you could be unfaithful to Erin with a woman by the name of Grubbs.
Now, there are some serious questions that need to be answered. Here are a few:
1) As Tiger was pulling out of his driveway was his drive slicing or hooking? And where, oh where, was he heading at 2:30 in the morning?
2) Where did his wife Elin so quickly get a hold of a three iron? Or would a better club have been a 'mashie"?
3) Did Elin take any 'divots' as she was 'teeing' off?
4) What was par for Tiger's head?
5) Did golf guru Butch Harmon give Elin any lessons on making the proper 'swing'?
6) Was Tiger's apology for his 'transgressions' plain or was it the Jerry Falwell type where the tears are flowing?
7) Is Tiger so stupid that he couldn't realize that if he left a message, on tape, for his mistress to change her greeting, that this message would not surface in the future?
Now we see that poor Tiger will get four points on his license and will have to pay a traffic ticket in the amount of $164. Oh my, where is going to come up with that? He also did $3,200 in damage to the hydrant and the tree. And we don't even have the estimate yet to fix his car. Oh how the 'costs' are climbing for poor Tiger and its only just beginning.
Tiger loves his privacy but what Tiger does not seem to realize that if you are in public life everything is scrutinized. Every little, well not in his case as it definitely ain't little, transgression gets magnified greatly but the press. He has apologized but he still expects to keep his privacy...sorry to say Tiger but that ain't gonna happen. Too many people are interested in you. Thierry Henry of France thanks you for taking the spotlight off his world famous handball. You have let down too many people by this error in judgment. But screwing around with four..FOUR women..that we know of at this time, is absolutely mind boggling. Going back to his apology he never admits to anything other than 'transgressions'. But then again, he really does not have to admit to anything else than that. He is just a golfer, albeit the best in the world, not an elected official. It will be interesting to see how all of companies that pay him to represent their products react. Some companies actually do have scruples.
Your King was a big fan of yours but now I hope Elin cleans you out. You deserve it you chump.
So, If you see Tiger Woods please let him know of his induction into my Moronica Hall of Fame and the honor that has been bestowed upon him.
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