1) The Buffalo Bills' wide receiver Stevie Johnson's contract is up at the end of the season. He has been squawking that he wants to be paid like a big time receiver. Well, after watching yesterday's debacle and looking back at last year's Bills-Steelers game the Bills had better not pay him like one. Yesterday was the second game where he single handedly cost the Bills a victory. His antics in the endzone after a TD and his key clanks with his hands of stone show that he is NOT a big time receiver. If I were Buddy Nix, at the contract talks with Stevie's agent after the season, I would hand his agent a contract and then show him tape of Stevie's fine drop against the Steelers in OT, his antics after the touchdown with a focus on the penalty flag, the results of the following kickoff thanks to that penalty and his big clank with thirty seconds left that really cost the Bills the game. After that Buddy should say you can either sign that contract or take a hike, personally I would like to see Mr. Johnson hit the road. As I have said before receivers of Stevie's ilk are a dime a dozen and he is certainly not worth the big time bucks he will probably demand from the Bills at the end of the year. Money that should be spent on a nice three year contract for Fred Jackson. What I would like to see, if numbnuts scores another touchdown for the Bills this season, is for him to hand the ball to the ref, accept congrats from his team mates and trot off the field like someone with a bit of maturity. But I doubt that will ever happen with Ol' hands of stone, Mr. Showboat Stevie Johnson.
2) Your King played bonus golf this weekend. On Friday I went to Bristol Harbour for the first time and, even though my putter went on strike, had a good time. Had a few good shots but played a rather ordinary round. My four iron from out of the fairway bunker on three to the fringe of the green was my highlight of the day. The back nine there was very interesting with a couple of holes that rank among the prettiest that I have ever played. On Saturday my usual group got together and played at Livingston. Again, if I could putt, I would have had a good round but it was an average score with your King hitting his point total right on the nose. But scoring was good that day and I ended up fifth and, probably, done for the season. The next weekend is in December and while the weekend looks like it will be nice it will be very cold with highs around forty. If I couldn't putt with temps in the mid fifties I can only imagine how bad I would be with the temps that much colder. But it was a fun season and the most I have golfed in season for a long, long time.
3) A friend, okay my ex queen, requested that I make her a pot of clam chowder this Sunday, or I would have bored your with a Sunday golf report too. I do not know what happened but this batch was one of the best I had ever made. It was perfection. I told my ex queen that I will keep this batch and make her another but she vetoed that idea. Since she was willing to buy most of the ingredients for it I broke down and agreed to make it for her. Even though I cannot putt I can still cook. At least that will get me through this, soon to be arriving, long winter.
4) In this lame segment of 'If they only had Twitter' we look at a twitter day in the life of famous football coach Vince Lombardi.
4:17pm - Vince Lombardi - Coach - "Big game tomorrow, told guys they had a ten o'clock curfew and had better be in bed by then. Will do a quick check after curfew."
11:15pm - Vince L. - " Caught Max McGee sneaking back in after curfew. Fined him $500 on the spot. Told him the next time the fine will be $1,000. Also told him if there was something that was worth a $1,000 fine to get me and I would go with him."
3:11am - Vince L. - "Still with Max at the nudie bar. Just ran out of dollar bills from the grand that I got from Max. Next time I will get a bigger fine from Max and have more fun."
While I cannot imagine Vince going to the nudie bar after curfew with Max, it has to be said that Max McGee was quite the character with the Packers in the 1960's.
Well that is enough crap from the mind of your King today. Nothing like a day off from work to get a few things done that you cannot get done during a weekend along with writing this bull crap. This is your King wishing you a great day!
Monday, November 28, 2011
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Happy Thanksgiving from Your King
This is your King wishing a Happy Thanksgiving to all.
May all of your tummies be full and your football watching be uninterrupted. Have a safe holiday.
Yours,
King Dinglefritz of Moronica
May all of your tummies be full and your football watching be uninterrupted. Have a safe holiday.
Yours,
King Dinglefritz of Moronica
Monday, November 21, 2011
Royal Droppings
1) Adding a bit more garbage about my trip to see the Rochester Lancers play this past Saturday I had to laugh and laugh watching coach Billy Andracki of the Lancers during the game. I swear that he was going to burst an aneurysm during the first half as he was constantly hollering at the refs and deservedly so. You could see the veins bulging out on his bald head. The refs were pretty bad that game and almost lost control of it. Andracki was smart and sat Rey Martinez for most of the second half or there may have been a riot. Martinez played a pretty chippy first half but it was fun.
2) Sydney Crosby finally returned to the ice tonight. He is the gifted center for the Pittsburgh Penguins and after one period he has a goal and an assist. At this rate he should be back to where he should be as the league's top scorer by December 10.
3) I thought the Bills two prior games were bad but this past Sunday's game against the Miami Dolphins took the cake. The Bills were absolutely pathetic. Ever since Fitzpatrick signed the new contract he has been El Stinko. But then again, he had plenty of company in that category during the game. Runners who could not run, receivers who could not catch and a defense that makes a kitchen sieve look solid. At the peak of their run I still figured 8-8 would be a good record but I cannot even see them winning another game right now. Too many injuries and a lack of talent are killing them. But, they are still my team.
4) My royal niece is on her way, well she should be there by now since she left yesterday, to Europe for ten days. Where were trips like these when I was a kid? Kids nowadays have everything. If I had the soccer programs back in my day that they have today I think I could have become one hell of a goalie, or even a field player but I never got the chance. All I had was 'summer soccer' for a few weeks where we would just pick up teams and kick the crap out of the ball. No coaching was involved but it got us out of our parents hair for a couple of hours. Oh to be a kid again instead of the crabby, old fart King that I have become.
5) Okay. Here is the next installment of 'If they only had Twitter'. This one probably is el stinko as I really haven't sat and thought about these episodes much lately but it is mostly moronic, like me. Let us go back sixty five million years ago and see a day in the twitter life of Tyrannosaurus Rex:
7:15am - Tyrannosaurus Rex - "Another day, another triceratops to try to find, kill and eat. Time to go to work!"
10:27am - T-Rex - "Good news!! I can take the rest of the day off!!! My mate bagged a Brontosaurus for dinner. I would give her a hug but my arms are too short."
2:19pm - T-Rex - "Bronto was great. Mate is giving me the twinkling eye. I think I know what she wants....time to pay her for the dinner. Wink. Wink."
5:39pm - T-Rex - " Big bright light in the sky going overhead."
5:43pm - T-Rex - "What the hell was that.??? Knocked me off my feet. Oh crap!!! what is that heading this wa...."
Well, what started out to be a good day in the life of Mr. T-Rex did not end so well as we would have found out if they only had Twitter in the time of the dinosaurs.
So ends another moronic blog from the mind of your King. Have a pleasant evening.
2) Sydney Crosby finally returned to the ice tonight. He is the gifted center for the Pittsburgh Penguins and after one period he has a goal and an assist. At this rate he should be back to where he should be as the league's top scorer by December 10.
3) I thought the Bills two prior games were bad but this past Sunday's game against the Miami Dolphins took the cake. The Bills were absolutely pathetic. Ever since Fitzpatrick signed the new contract he has been El Stinko. But then again, he had plenty of company in that category during the game. Runners who could not run, receivers who could not catch and a defense that makes a kitchen sieve look solid. At the peak of their run I still figured 8-8 would be a good record but I cannot even see them winning another game right now. Too many injuries and a lack of talent are killing them. But, they are still my team.
4) My royal niece is on her way, well she should be there by now since she left yesterday, to Europe for ten days. Where were trips like these when I was a kid? Kids nowadays have everything. If I had the soccer programs back in my day that they have today I think I could have become one hell of a goalie, or even a field player but I never got the chance. All I had was 'summer soccer' for a few weeks where we would just pick up teams and kick the crap out of the ball. No coaching was involved but it got us out of our parents hair for a couple of hours. Oh to be a kid again instead of the crabby, old fart King that I have become.
5) Okay. Here is the next installment of 'If they only had Twitter'. This one probably is el stinko as I really haven't sat and thought about these episodes much lately but it is mostly moronic, like me. Let us go back sixty five million years ago and see a day in the twitter life of Tyrannosaurus Rex:
7:15am - Tyrannosaurus Rex - "Another day, another triceratops to try to find, kill and eat. Time to go to work!"
10:27am - T-Rex - "Good news!! I can take the rest of the day off!!! My mate bagged a Brontosaurus for dinner. I would give her a hug but my arms are too short."
2:19pm - T-Rex - "Bronto was great. Mate is giving me the twinkling eye. I think I know what she wants....time to pay her for the dinner. Wink. Wink."
5:39pm - T-Rex - " Big bright light in the sky going overhead."
5:43pm - T-Rex - "What the hell was that.??? Knocked me off my feet. Oh crap!!! what is that heading this wa...."
Well, what started out to be a good day in the life of Mr. T-Rex did not end so well as we would have found out if they only had Twitter in the time of the dinosaurs.
So ends another moronic blog from the mind of your King. Have a pleasant evening.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Your King Attends Rochester Lancer Game and Other Things
Believe it or not your King dragged his ass, incognito of course, out of Moronica last night to go see Rochester's newest indoor soccer team play the Syracuse Silver Knights at the Blue Cross Arena. One of the attractions was that they inducted several members of the old Lancer outdoor team from the seventies into the wall of fame. It was good to see Dragan Popovic, Branko Segota and others back. Dragan was probably the greatest soccer coach that any Rochester soccer team ever had and that includes Pat Ercoli of the Rhinos.
The game turned out to be a lot of fun to watch. It was fast paced and there was plenty of scoring. The Lancers jumped out to a big halftime lead with a balanced attack. In the second half Syracuse tried to whittle away at the lead and actually made a game of it late in the fourth quarter but the Lancers put the game away with a couple of late goals and won the game 22-13. All in all it was quite entertaining and it would have been nicer to see a few more fannies in the seats but the crowd size was pretty much as I expected. I wish them luck.
I had a good chuckle reading the sports page of the Buffalo News this morning and I have to relay a quote from the Hockey section that made me laugh. It was by former goon Georges Laraque from his days with the Edmonton Oilers. He definitely shows his disdain for country music here. "All they talk about is 'I left my girlfriend and she left me or my horse is dying.' How can you get revved up for a game listening to crap like that?" That reminded your King of the two plus years he spent in Utah. Every station was country and the radios in the warehouse were all tuned to KKAT, the biggest local country station in the Salt Lake area. OMG that drove me nuts and that is the reason I spent most of my time in the freezer, to get away from crap like that. Georges Laraque is a kindred soul!!
Yesterday's blog said I survived, Well, I went to bed last night feeling quite good but when waking up this morning I truly felt my age. I was stiffer than a board but I really did not hurt, much. I guess that is sort of a good sign so maybe it is time to ramp up the exercise. The next weekend looks like there will be more bonus golf as the temperature looks to be well into the fifties again. This is helping to make up for the rotten spring we had here and also helping me not to miss bowling. I am surely done doing that and am looking for a way to ditch my equipment. I would love to drop my balls into either the canal or the river or by dropping them into the gorge at Letchworth Park but knowing my luck someone will report me. My friend Auggie took one of his balls and cooked it in a bonfire. Maybe I will do that to one of them in my fire pit. That would be a hoot.
Well that is all for today my friends. If you have a chance to go to a Lancer game do it. It is a good time. Until my next spouting of garbage I wish all of my friends and readers a fine day!!
The game turned out to be a lot of fun to watch. It was fast paced and there was plenty of scoring. The Lancers jumped out to a big halftime lead with a balanced attack. In the second half Syracuse tried to whittle away at the lead and actually made a game of it late in the fourth quarter but the Lancers put the game away with a couple of late goals and won the game 22-13. All in all it was quite entertaining and it would have been nicer to see a few more fannies in the seats but the crowd size was pretty much as I expected. I wish them luck.
I had a good chuckle reading the sports page of the Buffalo News this morning and I have to relay a quote from the Hockey section that made me laugh. It was by former goon Georges Laraque from his days with the Edmonton Oilers. He definitely shows his disdain for country music here. "All they talk about is 'I left my girlfriend and she left me or my horse is dying.' How can you get revved up for a game listening to crap like that?" That reminded your King of the two plus years he spent in Utah. Every station was country and the radios in the warehouse were all tuned to KKAT, the biggest local country station in the Salt Lake area. OMG that drove me nuts and that is the reason I spent most of my time in the freezer, to get away from crap like that. Georges Laraque is a kindred soul!!
Yesterday's blog said I survived, Well, I went to bed last night feeling quite good but when waking up this morning I truly felt my age. I was stiffer than a board but I really did not hurt, much. I guess that is sort of a good sign so maybe it is time to ramp up the exercise. The next weekend looks like there will be more bonus golf as the temperature looks to be well into the fifties again. This is helping to make up for the rotten spring we had here and also helping me not to miss bowling. I am surely done doing that and am looking for a way to ditch my equipment. I would love to drop my balls into either the canal or the river or by dropping them into the gorge at Letchworth Park but knowing my luck someone will report me. My friend Auggie took one of his balls and cooked it in a bonfire. Maybe I will do that to one of them in my fire pit. That would be a hoot.
Well that is all for today my friends. If you have a chance to go to a Lancer game do it. It is a good time. Until my next spouting of garbage I wish all of my friends and readers a fine day!!
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Your King Survives!!!! Barely.
Well, your King did decide to go golfing today and it was bonus golf as the season is officially over at the Country Club. I had only planned on playing nine holes as the riding carts have been stored for the season. Being a King I needed to use the riding carts as I have the curse of royalty. I am a touch fat and lazy...just look at Henry VIII for example. It is not just being a little fat and lazy but your King does not have the world's best back as it does not take much to incite a flareup of my bulging disc. Still that did not deter me from trying to play today.
As I said I had only planned on playing nine holes as I felt I could handle the walk and for the most part it went very well so I decided to play the second nine. I felt good enough at the turn and said 'lets do it' for the back nine. The last two holes were tough as my feet and neck got a bit sore but I survived. I ended up shooting a 93, which is in my normal range of scoring. I had opportunities to score on the front nine. I had a twenty five foot eagle putt on six, after a great drive and a brilliant five iron to the green but I had no touch with the putter all day and that sucked. I left that stupid putt four feet short and it was perfectly on line, and then, moronically, missed my birdie putt. I had a few other opportunities for birds but, again, I sucked at putting. Oh well it was still fun and it turned out for the best that I did not enter the little tourney that we usually play amongst us.
I definitely plan on working this off season to strengthen my back muscles, and lose some weight, as I would much rather walk the course. Riding the cart blows and I am sick and tired of feeling feeble. Exercise is where it is at and I got a load of it today. I will probably be a bit stiff for the next couple of days but it will be a good stiff....from a workout.
Your King is hoping to go to see the Rochester Lancers indoor soccer team tonight. I have always loved to watch soccer and it is good to have the Lancers back. I used to watch the Lancer's outdoor team back in the late '70s and enjoyed it greatly. Watching stars like Mike Stojanovic, Pele, Franz Beckenbauer and others play was enjoyable. Even at that potato patch called Holleder Stadium you felt like you were right on top of the action. So many memories, especially the one where they packed 20,005 fans into that place. My car had the extra five fans. Now that was a memory seeing that place overflowing with folks.
Oh well that is enough nonsense for today. It is sad that I make my poor readers, all one or two of you, suffer through my golf misadventures but hey, that is what blogging is all about. After reading some of the nonsense on other blogs mine is not so bad, and no Repoman, I am not talking about the nonsense, I mean, political writings of yours as you usually make a good point - For example your pontification about Mark McIntee was spot on. Gates is in great hands and I am glad that Moronica is located in the Town of Gates. Every once in a while I will bebop to others blogs to see what other people have to say. A lot of it is inane but again they enjoy writing it.
OMG, another paragraph after I was about to sign off?? The adrenalin must be flowing from all that, much needed, exercise today. Well I am signing off now. This is your King wishing you a pleasant evening!!!
As I said I had only planned on playing nine holes as I felt I could handle the walk and for the most part it went very well so I decided to play the second nine. I felt good enough at the turn and said 'lets do it' for the back nine. The last two holes were tough as my feet and neck got a bit sore but I survived. I ended up shooting a 93, which is in my normal range of scoring. I had opportunities to score on the front nine. I had a twenty five foot eagle putt on six, after a great drive and a brilliant five iron to the green but I had no touch with the putter all day and that sucked. I left that stupid putt four feet short and it was perfectly on line, and then, moronically, missed my birdie putt. I had a few other opportunities for birds but, again, I sucked at putting. Oh well it was still fun and it turned out for the best that I did not enter the little tourney that we usually play amongst us.
I definitely plan on working this off season to strengthen my back muscles, and lose some weight, as I would much rather walk the course. Riding the cart blows and I am sick and tired of feeling feeble. Exercise is where it is at and I got a load of it today. I will probably be a bit stiff for the next couple of days but it will be a good stiff....from a workout.
Your King is hoping to go to see the Rochester Lancers indoor soccer team tonight. I have always loved to watch soccer and it is good to have the Lancers back. I used to watch the Lancer's outdoor team back in the late '70s and enjoyed it greatly. Watching stars like Mike Stojanovic, Pele, Franz Beckenbauer and others play was enjoyable. Even at that potato patch called Holleder Stadium you felt like you were right on top of the action. So many memories, especially the one where they packed 20,005 fans into that place. My car had the extra five fans. Now that was a memory seeing that place overflowing with folks.
Oh well that is enough nonsense for today. It is sad that I make my poor readers, all one or two of you, suffer through my golf misadventures but hey, that is what blogging is all about. After reading some of the nonsense on other blogs mine is not so bad, and no Repoman, I am not talking about the nonsense, I mean, political writings of yours as you usually make a good point - For example your pontification about Mark McIntee was spot on. Gates is in great hands and I am glad that Moronica is located in the Town of Gates. Every once in a while I will bebop to others blogs to see what other people have to say. A lot of it is inane but again they enjoy writing it.
OMG, another paragraph after I was about to sign off?? The adrenalin must be flowing from all that, much needed, exercise today. Well I am signing off now. This is your King wishing you a pleasant evening!!!
Friday, November 18, 2011
Krap from your King
1) We had our first real snow last night. It was only a coating but it forewarns us of what is down the road. Still, your King will try to play a little golf tomorrow. It is supposed to be rather nice out so why not and early reports for next weekend say it is going to be rather mild again. I will try to walk nine holes and with my back that will be an adventure. I hope to strengthen it over the winter so I can walk 18 all of the time. It is more fun and better for you. Riding the cart blows.
2) Your King has appointed a Royal Major Domo for the realm of Moronica. The appointee is a very wise and articulate person who will represent Moronica well. While I am not at liberty to announce his/her name this person is an excellent addition to my staff. Now to see if I can find a new queen. That may be a tad harder.
3) Put up the Royal Christmas Lights last night. I went outside to take a look to see if they hung well. Not even thinking about it as I was stringing them up I hung them up in the form of an "M". I guess it stands for Moronica so if you are driving around Gates and see a house with a big "M" in the window you may have located my Kingdom but keep driving as I am not signing autographs.
4) As I am typing this the population of Pominville has been upped to eight.
5) Today's entry in 'If they only had Twitter" features the famous last tweet of Mrs. O'Leary back in 1871.
6:15pm - Mrs. O'Leary - milker - "Getting ready for another night of pulling teats. Oh, crap. Bessy just knocked over a lantern. I better take care of it before it...oh oh..I gotta go...fast."
And so much for Mrs. O'Leary's last tweet and for a good chunk of Chicago too.
This is your King wishing you all to have a pleasant evening.
2) Your King has appointed a Royal Major Domo for the realm of Moronica. The appointee is a very wise and articulate person who will represent Moronica well. While I am not at liberty to announce his/her name this person is an excellent addition to my staff. Now to see if I can find a new queen. That may be a tad harder.
3) Put up the Royal Christmas Lights last night. I went outside to take a look to see if they hung well. Not even thinking about it as I was stringing them up I hung them up in the form of an "M". I guess it stands for Moronica so if you are driving around Gates and see a house with a big "M" in the window you may have located my Kingdom but keep driving as I am not signing autographs.
4) As I am typing this the population of Pominville has been upped to eight.
5) Today's entry in 'If they only had Twitter" features the famous last tweet of Mrs. O'Leary back in 1871.
6:15pm - Mrs. O'Leary - milker - "Getting ready for another night of pulling teats. Oh, crap. Bessy just knocked over a lantern. I better take care of it before it...oh oh..I gotta go...fast."
And so much for Mrs. O'Leary's last tweet and for a good chunk of Chicago too.
This is your King wishing you all to have a pleasant evening.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Moronican Sports Report...Oh Joy!!
This will probably bore everyone but your King has some comments about the recent happenings in the world of sports and if you are patient I think the new edition of 'If they only had Twitter' could be pretty good, but knowing me it will probably be el stinko, so here goes:
1) The Buffalo Sabres thoroughly disappointed your King this past Saturday when they played the Boston Bruins in Beantown. Milan Lucic decided to mash Sabre goalie Ryan Miller when he came out to clear away a puck. Lucic made no effort to avoid Miller and purposely lowered his shoulder into him in an attempt to turn out his lights. What really bothered me after the hit, for which Lucic only received a two minute minor and should have gotten a five minute major for an attempt to injure, was that the Sabres basically did nothing to defend their goalie. The Sabres turned into pussies for the rest of the game. I expected something to erupt but nothing did. That bothers me as Miller, though he has not played well lately, is a vital cog to the Sabres drive to the playoffs. To just let that hit go without nary a whimper from the team makes me wonder about this team's heart. Do they have one? Maybe we shall see the next time the play those asses from Boston.
2) The NBA's lockout continues. The players union vetoed the latest offer. Does anyone really care if the NBA ever plays again? Not I. If they never play again I will not miss it and hey, maybe it will open more dates in key arenas for tractor pulls. We can only hope, yeah right. Tractor pulls??? LOL!!!
3) The Bills laid a gigundous egg this past Sunday. I really believed they could give Dallas a game and actually beat them. Boy was your King wrong about that. They just plain stunk. It looks like opposing defenses have caught on to the Bills' short passing game offense. Not having a deep threat is killing the Bills right now. Fitzgerald did try to go deep once to with a throw to Spiller but the perfectly thrown ball fell incomplete when Spiller tripped over his shoelaces as the ball got to him. Pathetic.
4) Your King does have a few comments about the Penn State situation but I think I will save the majority for a full blog in the near future. All I will say right now that if I had my way Jerry Sandusky's member would be chopped off and burnt. The ass deserves the death penalty for what he has done to those kids. If I was the one who caught him in the shower that day he would not be around right now. More to come later.
5) OK here is, I hope, the bright spot of today's blog. In this edition of 'If they only had Twitter' we present the tweets of Captain Bligh from that infamous day. Let us hope I can do it justice and it would help if you knew a bit about what led up to the mutiny. For that I highly recommend the Charles Laughton movie version of 'Mutiny on the Bounty". Laughton was perfect for the role and gave Bligh life.
6:00am Captain Bligh - Bounty - "Hope I can get a decent days work out of the jackals today. Need to get these breadfruit trees back and quickly"
8:25am - Bligh - "I hear a ruckus amongst the rats, will find out and give them the cat-o-nine tails. That will quiet them down."
8:29am - Bligh- "Someone breaking into quarters."
9:48am - Bligh - "Set adrift in life raft by that mutinous dog Christian. I will hunt him down and see that he hangs from the highest yardarm!!"
9:49am - Fletcher Christian - reply- "I do not think so you fat pig, There ain't land for thousands of miles. Good bye and good riddance."
9:51am - Bligh - "Set me adrift will you Mr. Christian?? If you are still reading this I will see that you rot in hell."
9:52am - Christian - reply - "Better start having your pals get rowing fatty. You should too as it may help you lose weight. Besides, I am giving the crew an extra ration of cheese from your stash. And kiss your trees goodbye. They are getting tossed. LOL!!"
9:55am - Bligh - "You are a bastard Fletcher Christian. There will be no place on Earth where you will be safe from my wrath."
9:56 am - Christian - reply - "'Fat' chance. I hope your ipad battery runs out soon."
And so on and so forth the banter may have went, until Bligh's battery did run out. If they only had Twitter back then this could have been recorded for history but we shall never know exactly what was said between Fletcher Christian and Captain Bligh as Christian loaded him onto that lifeboat. Wish I could have made it a bit funnier. Oh well. This is your King wishing you a pleasant evening.
1) The Buffalo Sabres thoroughly disappointed your King this past Saturday when they played the Boston Bruins in Beantown. Milan Lucic decided to mash Sabre goalie Ryan Miller when he came out to clear away a puck. Lucic made no effort to avoid Miller and purposely lowered his shoulder into him in an attempt to turn out his lights. What really bothered me after the hit, for which Lucic only received a two minute minor and should have gotten a five minute major for an attempt to injure, was that the Sabres basically did nothing to defend their goalie. The Sabres turned into pussies for the rest of the game. I expected something to erupt but nothing did. That bothers me as Miller, though he has not played well lately, is a vital cog to the Sabres drive to the playoffs. To just let that hit go without nary a whimper from the team makes me wonder about this team's heart. Do they have one? Maybe we shall see the next time the play those asses from Boston.
2) The NBA's lockout continues. The players union vetoed the latest offer. Does anyone really care if the NBA ever plays again? Not I. If they never play again I will not miss it and hey, maybe it will open more dates in key arenas for tractor pulls. We can only hope, yeah right. Tractor pulls??? LOL!!!
3) The Bills laid a gigundous egg this past Sunday. I really believed they could give Dallas a game and actually beat them. Boy was your King wrong about that. They just plain stunk. It looks like opposing defenses have caught on to the Bills' short passing game offense. Not having a deep threat is killing the Bills right now. Fitzgerald did try to go deep once to with a throw to Spiller but the perfectly thrown ball fell incomplete when Spiller tripped over his shoelaces as the ball got to him. Pathetic.
4) Your King does have a few comments about the Penn State situation but I think I will save the majority for a full blog in the near future. All I will say right now that if I had my way Jerry Sandusky's member would be chopped off and burnt. The ass deserves the death penalty for what he has done to those kids. If I was the one who caught him in the shower that day he would not be around right now. More to come later.
5) OK here is, I hope, the bright spot of today's blog. In this edition of 'If they only had Twitter' we present the tweets of Captain Bligh from that infamous day. Let us hope I can do it justice and it would help if you knew a bit about what led up to the mutiny. For that I highly recommend the Charles Laughton movie version of 'Mutiny on the Bounty". Laughton was perfect for the role and gave Bligh life.
6:00am Captain Bligh - Bounty - "Hope I can get a decent days work out of the jackals today. Need to get these breadfruit trees back and quickly"
8:25am - Bligh - "I hear a ruckus amongst the rats, will find out and give them the cat-o-nine tails. That will quiet them down."
8:29am - Bligh- "Someone breaking into quarters."
9:48am - Bligh - "Set adrift in life raft by that mutinous dog Christian. I will hunt him down and see that he hangs from the highest yardarm!!"
9:49am - Fletcher Christian - reply- "I do not think so you fat pig, There ain't land for thousands of miles. Good bye and good riddance."
9:51am - Bligh - "Set me adrift will you Mr. Christian?? If you are still reading this I will see that you rot in hell."
9:52am - Christian - reply - "Better start having your pals get rowing fatty. You should too as it may help you lose weight. Besides, I am giving the crew an extra ration of cheese from your stash. And kiss your trees goodbye. They are getting tossed. LOL!!"
9:55am - Bligh - "You are a bastard Fletcher Christian. There will be no place on Earth where you will be safe from my wrath."
9:56 am - Christian - reply - "'Fat' chance. I hope your ipad battery runs out soon."
And so on and so forth the banter may have went, until Bligh's battery did run out. If they only had Twitter back then this could have been recorded for history but we shall never know exactly what was said between Fletcher Christian and Captain Bligh as Christian loaded him onto that lifeboat. Wish I could have made it a bit funnier. Oh well. This is your King wishing you a pleasant evening.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
KING WINS!!! Well, Sort of.....
I guess I lied last week when I said that I had played my last round of golf. Mother Nature graced us with another nice weekend in this month of November. And we all know that November can be one of the gloomiest months in this neck of the woods. I played Saturday and had a rather consistent round with nothing special except for a birdie on fourteen. My score to hit right now is seventeen points and I ended up plus one, which for me at this time of year is not bad. Hondo won as he was the birdie king that day.
Sunday started out to be a nightmare. I looked like a monkey trying to hump a football on the front nine. Trying to again score seventeen points I ended up with a paltry four points at the turn. It was a pretty sad effort as I provided a lot of comic relief to my partners. Big Dave, needing to score 18 points made the turn at twelve so I was hopelessly behind.
Signs that my round may have been turning around began on eleven. It is a short par three and I ended up putting my tee shot into the deep vegetables well off to the right side of the green. After looking for it for a couple of minutes I finally found its hiding spot. It was well buried in the weeds but hittable. Not being able to take a practice shot I swung at it hard and popped it onto the green. Still made a bogey but I scored a point with a miracle shot. I played the very tough twelve well but threw away a par when I missed a short 6 footer. After butchering 13 I stood at seven points and pretty much had written off my last round of the year as a disaster.
Then it happened, a rally that is comparable to the Bills' comeback versus the Oilers many moons ago. I parred fourteen after missing a short birdie putt barely wide left. Parred my nemesis hole of the year number fifteen with a great eight foot putt and then, after getting my point total up to eleven the fireworks happened. Birdied sixteen for four big points and then parred seventeen for two even bigger points which, in itself, was a complete miracle as it is a very long par four playing into a very strong wind. I had cut Big Dave's lead down to two points. We both hit good tee shots on eighteen though mine did go about 40 yards farther. we both put our second shots just off the back of the green. I was only a foot off while Big Dave was about two yards off. He hit a brilliant chip shot to within tap in distance and got his par putting me down by four points. I was next facing a twenty five foot putt from off the green needing a four point birdie to tie him for the win. With what could only be described as a miracle, by the grace of the golf gods, I put my putt dead center of the cup and escaped the round with a plus four point total tieing Big Dave and splitting the pot with him!! I played the last five holes at 2 under par(should have been three) and scored fourteen huge points. I finished the round with a ninety with nine round scores of 51-39. But the bird on eighteeen puts the big smile on my face that will last throughout this entire long winter we now have to suffer through. I look forward to April, hopefully, and a fresh golf season.
Also scored big by finding at least six nice Titleist Pro-V1 balls amongst the leaves this weekend. At four bucks a whack that almost paid for my rounds. I will mark them as my own and will probably give them back to the golf course gods early next year knowing me.
Now I know that my valued readers, all one or two of you, could give a hoot about my golf game but I enjoy writing about it as it does give my two fingers some exercise. This is your King thanking you for suffering through the reading of my golf crap. I promise more interesting stuff with my next pontification. Have a nice evening!
Sunday started out to be a nightmare. I looked like a monkey trying to hump a football on the front nine. Trying to again score seventeen points I ended up with a paltry four points at the turn. It was a pretty sad effort as I provided a lot of comic relief to my partners. Big Dave, needing to score 18 points made the turn at twelve so I was hopelessly behind.
Signs that my round may have been turning around began on eleven. It is a short par three and I ended up putting my tee shot into the deep vegetables well off to the right side of the green. After looking for it for a couple of minutes I finally found its hiding spot. It was well buried in the weeds but hittable. Not being able to take a practice shot I swung at it hard and popped it onto the green. Still made a bogey but I scored a point with a miracle shot. I played the very tough twelve well but threw away a par when I missed a short 6 footer. After butchering 13 I stood at seven points and pretty much had written off my last round of the year as a disaster.
Then it happened, a rally that is comparable to the Bills' comeback versus the Oilers many moons ago. I parred fourteen after missing a short birdie putt barely wide left. Parred my nemesis hole of the year number fifteen with a great eight foot putt and then, after getting my point total up to eleven the fireworks happened. Birdied sixteen for four big points and then parred seventeen for two even bigger points which, in itself, was a complete miracle as it is a very long par four playing into a very strong wind. I had cut Big Dave's lead down to two points. We both hit good tee shots on eighteen though mine did go about 40 yards farther. we both put our second shots just off the back of the green. I was only a foot off while Big Dave was about two yards off. He hit a brilliant chip shot to within tap in distance and got his par putting me down by four points. I was next facing a twenty five foot putt from off the green needing a four point birdie to tie him for the win. With what could only be described as a miracle, by the grace of the golf gods, I put my putt dead center of the cup and escaped the round with a plus four point total tieing Big Dave and splitting the pot with him!! I played the last five holes at 2 under par(should have been three) and scored fourteen huge points. I finished the round with a ninety with nine round scores of 51-39. But the bird on eighteeen puts the big smile on my face that will last throughout this entire long winter we now have to suffer through. I look forward to April, hopefully, and a fresh golf season.
Also scored big by finding at least six nice Titleist Pro-V1 balls amongst the leaves this weekend. At four bucks a whack that almost paid for my rounds. I will mark them as my own and will probably give them back to the golf course gods early next year knowing me.
Now I know that my valued readers, all one or two of you, could give a hoot about my golf game but I enjoy writing about it as it does give my two fingers some exercise. This is your King thanking you for suffering through the reading of my golf crap. I promise more interesting stuff with my next pontification. Have a nice evening!
Sunday, November 6, 2011
OMG!! It's Back!! Someone Please Put Me Out Of My Misery!!!
1) Why, oh Why I can only ask. Driving down 390 South yesterday near the airport I saw it again. Wegmans decided to bring back their sushi billboard featuring Moby Dick mouth. For those who have not read my previous blogs about this and are unfamiliar with this billboard it features some broad, with a mouth so big you can park a 747 in it, with pieces of sushi instead of eyes. It is probably THE most annoying billboard ever put up by anyone, even Pedro of South of the Border has better billboards than this. I try to avert my eyes whenever I pass this billboard but like a moth to a flame I have to look at it. This billboard has to go before it causes an accident.
2) Well the Bills lost today. I half expected it. The Jets just came off a bye and were well rested and they needed this game more than the Bills. The Bills play at Dallas next week. It is a game I believe they have a good chance at winning if they can harass Tony Romo enough as he will throw bad passes if bothered. We shall see.
3) Went golfing today, probably for the last time this season, and I did not play half bad. I actually had a few magic moments on the course. My chip in birdie on hole four was an absolute thing of beauty and I almost pulled off the same feat on fifteen. There my chip hit the flagstick solid and ended up a couple inches away from the hole. Still had too many bad holes but nothing worse than a double bogey on any hole. Overall not bad for having not played in almost a month due to weather, work and other commitments. Looking forward to next season. Maybe in March I will be able to go to Myrtle Beach for a golf vacation with some of the guys. I am the first alternate if the fourth backs out. I have now devoted myself to being a better golfer as I have completely retired from bowling. I miss my bowling buddies but I do NOT miss bowling.
4) In a little bit of a twist on my new segment "if they had Twitter" today I present 'famous last tweets'. Today we examine Abe Lincoln's possible last tweet.
2:47pm - Abraham Lincoln, President - "So much work to do but Mary bought tickets to a play at Ford's Theater tonight. I need to go to this play tonight like I need a hole in the head. Mary truly wants to go and I really do need a break. I hope its good."
I know, I know, I hear the booing already but hey, I am the King of Moronica so what do you expect from me? Pulitzer Prizes??
Well, fortunately for you I am going to keep this blog entry a bit short tonight. I am a bit tired after spending all afternoon, after coming home from golf, housecleaning. Looks like I really need to find a new Queen of Moronica soon. But not too soon. This is your King saying "Have a happy!!"
2) Well the Bills lost today. I half expected it. The Jets just came off a bye and were well rested and they needed this game more than the Bills. The Bills play at Dallas next week. It is a game I believe they have a good chance at winning if they can harass Tony Romo enough as he will throw bad passes if bothered. We shall see.
3) Went golfing today, probably for the last time this season, and I did not play half bad. I actually had a few magic moments on the course. My chip in birdie on hole four was an absolute thing of beauty and I almost pulled off the same feat on fifteen. There my chip hit the flagstick solid and ended up a couple inches away from the hole. Still had too many bad holes but nothing worse than a double bogey on any hole. Overall not bad for having not played in almost a month due to weather, work and other commitments. Looking forward to next season. Maybe in March I will be able to go to Myrtle Beach for a golf vacation with some of the guys. I am the first alternate if the fourth backs out. I have now devoted myself to being a better golfer as I have completely retired from bowling. I miss my bowling buddies but I do NOT miss bowling.
4) In a little bit of a twist on my new segment "if they had Twitter" today I present 'famous last tweets'. Today we examine Abe Lincoln's possible last tweet.
2:47pm - Abraham Lincoln, President - "So much work to do but Mary bought tickets to a play at Ford's Theater tonight. I need to go to this play tonight like I need a hole in the head. Mary truly wants to go and I really do need a break. I hope its good."
I know, I know, I hear the booing already but hey, I am the King of Moronica so what do you expect from me? Pulitzer Prizes??
Well, fortunately for you I am going to keep this blog entry a bit short tonight. I am a bit tired after spending all afternoon, after coming home from golf, housecleaning. Looks like I really need to find a new Queen of Moronica soon. But not too soon. This is your King saying "Have a happy!!"
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Royal Droppings
1) I was saddened to learn of the passing today of Andy Rooney. The poor guy finally retires to have some peace and quiet time and look what happens, he kicks off. One month into retirement no less. The last time that happened was to Alabama football coach Paul "Bear" Bryant. He retired and promptly died. Maybe Andy should have stayed employed?
2) Is there a stupider comment than what was uttered by conservative pundit Ann Coulter?? Talking about Herman Cain and other African-American GOP members Coulter stated "Our blacks are so much better than their blacks." OMG can you think of a statement made by someone more moronic than that??? I am sure if I thought about it I would but this one is tough to beat.
3) Staying on political rant detail nothing annoys me more than the commercial for the Monroe County Conservative Party that I have been hearing on the radio lately. They act as like they are putting out their own slate of candidates when they only endorse candidates of the other major parties, normally a vast majority of republicans. The commercial puts out a distinct holier than thou attitude that just turns me off completely. The commercial then starts espousing the individual rights that they back unless, of course, you do not toe the conservative values. Heaven forbid if you are gay as they want gay marriage gone. Also they state that they are against the "Occupy Protesters". Isn't it an American right to be able to protest? Last time I heard you had the right. While I may not agree with everything that they are protesting about they have the right to do it, conservatives be damned!! They piss me off and I am a moderate!!! PS: The Liberals can take a hike too.
4) It was an absolutely gorgeous day today. Went down to Geneseo today to have my ears lowered by the Royal Barber and ran into the Philippine Ambassador to Geneseo who was also getting his ears lowered. It was good to see him again after so many years. Ambassador HopSing has not changed a bit and he is always a hoot to be with.
5) It is now time for the next installment of "If they only had Twitter". We are now going to examine a day in the life of George Armstrong Custer if he had twitter.
5:35am - George Custer, General - "Woke the boys up. Looks like a beautiful day. Going to patrol Southern Montana today."
11:00am - George Custer - "Just entered the Little Big Horn Valley. The countryside is absolutely beautiful."
12:30pm - George Custer - "Where did all of those F-----g indians come from????
1:23pm - George Custer - "Arrow in ass, hurts, but not as much as arrow in shoulder."
1:30pm - George Custer - "looks liikkeesj....."
2:17pm - George Custer - "Looks like big blond chief leaveum twitter account open. He now missing scalp along with ipad. Victory party at Sitting Bull's tonight. Me promise naked squaws dancing."
Again, these Twitter entries are only hypothetical, but then again, who knows how it would have been. This is only your King's version of the attack at Little Big Horn on Twitter.
6) Looking forward to one last day of golf tomorrow. Should be warm enough to actually enjoy it. Today was just too chilly to attempt it though it was beautiful outside. Stopped at the Country Club to enjoy their steamed clams in Bayou broth one last time before winter. It sucks that the next time I may play will be April, that is if I am lucky and the stupid weather will cooperate next year. April and May sucked donkeys this year and I certainly do not want a repeat of that nonsense again. Hell, I couldn't mow my entire lawn until June it was so bloody wet in my back yard. May the golf gods shine down on us next April!!
Well, this is enough garbage for tonight. This is your King wishing you a pleasant evening. Go Sabres...and Bills!!!
2) Is there a stupider comment than what was uttered by conservative pundit Ann Coulter?? Talking about Herman Cain and other African-American GOP members Coulter stated "Our blacks are so much better than their blacks." OMG can you think of a statement made by someone more moronic than that??? I am sure if I thought about it I would but this one is tough to beat.
3) Staying on political rant detail nothing annoys me more than the commercial for the Monroe County Conservative Party that I have been hearing on the radio lately. They act as like they are putting out their own slate of candidates when they only endorse candidates of the other major parties, normally a vast majority of republicans. The commercial puts out a distinct holier than thou attitude that just turns me off completely. The commercial then starts espousing the individual rights that they back unless, of course, you do not toe the conservative values. Heaven forbid if you are gay as they want gay marriage gone. Also they state that they are against the "Occupy Protesters". Isn't it an American right to be able to protest? Last time I heard you had the right. While I may not agree with everything that they are protesting about they have the right to do it, conservatives be damned!! They piss me off and I am a moderate!!! PS: The Liberals can take a hike too.
4) It was an absolutely gorgeous day today. Went down to Geneseo today to have my ears lowered by the Royal Barber and ran into the Philippine Ambassador to Geneseo who was also getting his ears lowered. It was good to see him again after so many years. Ambassador HopSing has not changed a bit and he is always a hoot to be with.
5) It is now time for the next installment of "If they only had Twitter". We are now going to examine a day in the life of George Armstrong Custer if he had twitter.
5:35am - George Custer, General - "Woke the boys up. Looks like a beautiful day. Going to patrol Southern Montana today."
11:00am - George Custer - "Just entered the Little Big Horn Valley. The countryside is absolutely beautiful."
12:30pm - George Custer - "Where did all of those F-----g indians come from????
1:23pm - George Custer - "Arrow in ass, hurts, but not as much as arrow in shoulder."
1:30pm - George Custer - "looks liikkeesj....."
2:17pm - George Custer - "Looks like big blond chief leaveum twitter account open. He now missing scalp along with ipad. Victory party at Sitting Bull's tonight. Me promise naked squaws dancing."
Again, these Twitter entries are only hypothetical, but then again, who knows how it would have been. This is only your King's version of the attack at Little Big Horn on Twitter.
6) Looking forward to one last day of golf tomorrow. Should be warm enough to actually enjoy it. Today was just too chilly to attempt it though it was beautiful outside. Stopped at the Country Club to enjoy their steamed clams in Bayou broth one last time before winter. It sucks that the next time I may play will be April, that is if I am lucky and the stupid weather will cooperate next year. April and May sucked donkeys this year and I certainly do not want a repeat of that nonsense again. Hell, I couldn't mow my entire lawn until June it was so bloody wet in my back yard. May the golf gods shine down on us next April!!
Well, this is enough garbage for tonight. This is your King wishing you a pleasant evening. Go Sabres...and Bills!!!
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Meanderings from your Monarch
1) The judge has finally decided that Lindsey Lohan will be spending 30 days in the clink for her transgressions. She needs to spend a lot more. How many chances would you and I have gotten if we did what she has been doing?? A lot more time than that. For her continued stupidity she is a stellar representative of all that is moronic, therefore Lindsey Lohan has now been enshrined as the sixteenth member of the Moronica Hall of Fame. As you know the MHOF honors those that exemplify the finer points of being a moron and Lindsey far and away exceeds the standard qualifications that are required for enshrinement. So if you happen to see Lindsey, or visit her while she is spending 30 days in the hole, please tell her of her enshrinement and the honor of which that has been bestowed upon her.
2) The Bills were impressive against the Redskins(how I hate that nickname) last Sunday in Toronto. Nine sacks for the defense and very few yards given up. Too bad it was against a bunch of subs. This week's game against the Jets will be more telling of where the Bills are at. Let us hope that they are up to this challenge.
3) The NBA is still locked out. Does anyone really care?????
4) I saw a commercial for Seneca Niagara Casino earlier today. It featured lots of pretty women gambling. I have been to this casino a few times and I have yet to see any of these pretty women gambling. All the women I see are rather old, overweight, smoking or just plain butt ugly and have their asses PLANTED on a slot stool. That is until the buffet line opens up and then look out. It is a stampede. People unfortunate enough to be between them and the buffet have been injured, some seriously. The commercial should be banned as it is not a true reflection of the casino's patrons.
Number five will be a new feature presented by your King whenever I happen to give my random ramblings. You can thank requests from from avid readers of my blog for this but they seemed to have enjoyed my "if people had access to Twitter" when they were alive in regards to Captain Harris of the Titanic from the last blog. So in the future you will see, and read, potential tweets from historical figures, fictional characters and maybe even a body part or two. It all depends upon what my sick imagination comes up with. So I now present "Twitter of the Moronic" for your reading pleasure.
5) Can you imagine if Don Juan had a twitter account. Let us see how that would read, again in english and not twitterese.
10:05pm - Don Juan, Stud - "Bonked Maria"
10:27pm - Don Juan - "Bonked Linda"
11:07pm - Don Juan - "Bonked Katerina"
11:31pm - Don Juan - "Bonked Pedro, Pedro was dressed like Pedrina when I picked 'her' up and I did not realize it until it was too late. Oh, well, a little variety never hurt"
11:58pm - Don Juan - "Bonked Elena"
12:35am - Don Juan - "Bonked Margarita"
And so on and so forth. We can only imagine the rest of Don's night as he was a bonking machine though I cannot imagine him using the word bonk but we do need to keep things clean.
That is enough garbage for tonight. This is your King wishing you a pleasant evening.
2) The Bills were impressive against the Redskins(how I hate that nickname) last Sunday in Toronto. Nine sacks for the defense and very few yards given up. Too bad it was against a bunch of subs. This week's game against the Jets will be more telling of where the Bills are at. Let us hope that they are up to this challenge.
3) The NBA is still locked out. Does anyone really care?????
4) I saw a commercial for Seneca Niagara Casino earlier today. It featured lots of pretty women gambling. I have been to this casino a few times and I have yet to see any of these pretty women gambling. All the women I see are rather old, overweight, smoking or just plain butt ugly and have their asses PLANTED on a slot stool. That is until the buffet line opens up and then look out. It is a stampede. People unfortunate enough to be between them and the buffet have been injured, some seriously. The commercial should be banned as it is not a true reflection of the casino's patrons.
Number five will be a new feature presented by your King whenever I happen to give my random ramblings. You can thank requests from from avid readers of my blog for this but they seemed to have enjoyed my "if people had access to Twitter" when they were alive in regards to Captain Harris of the Titanic from the last blog. So in the future you will see, and read, potential tweets from historical figures, fictional characters and maybe even a body part or two. It all depends upon what my sick imagination comes up with. So I now present "Twitter of the Moronic" for your reading pleasure.
5) Can you imagine if Don Juan had a twitter account. Let us see how that would read, again in english and not twitterese.
10:05pm - Don Juan, Stud - "Bonked Maria"
10:27pm - Don Juan - "Bonked Linda"
11:07pm - Don Juan - "Bonked Katerina"
11:31pm - Don Juan - "Bonked Pedro, Pedro was dressed like Pedrina when I picked 'her' up and I did not realize it until it was too late. Oh, well, a little variety never hurt"
11:58pm - Don Juan - "Bonked Elena"
12:35am - Don Juan - "Bonked Margarita"
And so on and so forth. We can only imagine the rest of Don's night as he was a bonking machine though I cannot imagine him using the word bonk but we do need to keep things clean.
That is enough garbage for tonight. This is your King wishing you a pleasant evening.
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