Your King Returns Again!!

Boy has it been a while since I last posted something. There seemed to be an issue with the site and I stayed away but it seems to be working fine now so I guess I will return to bugging the human race with my pontifications. Just a quicky rundown of some things that have happened since I took leave of my site.
1) Your King shot a 77 back in late May at the Livingston Country Club and has played like garbage since, HOWEVER, I seem to be on the way to having my August rally as I shot an 84 yesterday. 2 months of crap sucked now hopefully I will have 2 months of decent play to make up for it.
2) My the Aurora shooter get the quickest death penalty known to man. Whether he is nuts or not he deserves a quick exit off this planet.
3) Mowed my lawn once this month. One of the very few benefits of a lack of rain.
4) The Bills are back in town getting ready for the season. Chan Gailey has some real talent to work with this year, as long as they stay healthy. If anyone can get them to the playoffs it is Chan. He is a good coach.
5) Went to see three movies the past two weeks. "Ted" was raunchy fun. "The Amazing Spiderman" was very good but I prefered the original. I enjoyed "The Dark Knight Rises". It really wasn't what I expected so I guess that is why I enjoyed it.
Man, I wasn't ready to have my site back to normal so I will sign off now and get some things together to write about. Stay tunes my friends!!

Your King Has the Blahs

It has been a while since your King has posted anything. I attribute it to shear laziness on my part. After going nuts earlier in the year my motivation, for some reason, has hit the skids. Not that there isn't anything to write about, just nothing really to stir me enough to get to my site and write some garbage. Really, it has been a trying spring for your King. Ever since my return from my golf trip to Myrtle Beach your King's life has been rather unremarkable. My golf game is so so. I am getting fatter, much to my chagrin even though I have increased my exercise amount greatly. I am just tried, bored and totally unmotivated at this time.
Maybe it is the ten hour days I have been putting in at work. Maybe it is the stupid kids that continue to trespass on Moronican soil, despite my bellowings to stay off, to get to the park and royally piss me off. Who knows? Maybe the Shadow knows but he ain't talking. The Sabres keeping Ruff and Regier?? Yeah, that probably pisses me off the most. That regime constantly gets rewarded for mediocrity. Amazing.
Well, I have reached the limit of my attention span and will close out for the night. Maybe I will get motivated again soon, but then again, maybe not. Good day.

April Showers Pretty Much Upset Your King's Golf Game

March was a very quiet month, posting wise, for your King so maybe I will just jot down some garbage just to keep me amused.
I went to the Garden Factory today after work and picked up some more bulbs and plants to put into my Royal Botanical Garden. The tulips will be gone early this year and once they go Moronica will start looking very drab so I will plant some extra crap. Maybe some nice young lady will see how great Moronica looks and may check it out...yeah, right.  The only thing the new flowers will attract are bees and I will probably end up getting stung knowing my luck lately. I even bought some cacti for the inside of my castle. I used to have it but when I went to Utah back in the mid nineties I gave them away and never got any more. I missed having my cactus so I splurged. Knowing my luck they will now probably die.
The ex queen is on her way to Myrtle Beach today to visit her folks with the Pizza King. He was the Burger King but he got a promotion. Luckily I made my trip there last month so there would be no danger of running into her but I do look forward to knowing she is nowhere nearby next week. I do miss her folks though. It is hard to believe it has been almost a month already since my trip. I hope they do this golf trip next year and I hope they invite me again.
Mowed my yard for the first time this year on Wednesday. I only mowed about two thirds of it but still it was three weeks earlier than I ever had to mow it before. The yard has been completely cleared of all of winter's twigs and branches that have been deposited and the back yard is drier at this time of the year than it has ever been. Screwy weather!! Now it is going to be crappy and very cool next week and now I wish I was heading south.
It is now April and not once did I set foot in Spencerport "Bedrock" Lanes or any bowling alley at all for that matter this past bowling season. I just don't miss it at all. That is baffling as I am a very good bowler but I just don't want to do it anymore. Bedrock was great in that aspect as it put out any fire that I had to continue bowling and for that I thank Bedrock.
Is there anything better in this world than an ice cold A&W root beer? If there is I want to know about it.
Going to play some golf tomorrow morning as it finally looks like we will have a nice weekend for a change. I have taken advantage of the crappy weather to get in some OT at work to try to catch up but not having my young apprentice helping me is driving me nuts. But I am plugging away and that is all I can do.
Speaking of the Country Club rumour has it that they are taking my favorite item off the menu. The steamed clams in Bayou Sauce is great there but I heard them say that the quality of the clams has been a bit weak so they are removing it from the menu until the quality improves. As long as they come back I can live with that or I am going to have to buy my own clams, waddle my ass to the Country Club and tell the chef to whip up some calibati bread and bayou sauce to go with them for me. As a King I deserve this type of extra good treatment.
I guess that is enough of my garbage, and I do mean garbage, for tonight. This is your King wishing you a pleasant evening!

Nonsense from your Favorite Nut

1) Well, it has been tough to sit in front of my monitor typing out my usual bunch of garbage lately, if you haven't noticed, now that MSG is back on the air AND the Sabres actually playing like they should have been for the entire year and being worth watching. Miller has been a rock and the FES line of Stafford, Foligno and Ennis has been amazing. Watching them now begs the question "Why the three month period when they played like absolute crap??" I still think Ruff should go but this hot spell again will probably save his job. Look at St. Louis for example because after 13 games they sucked, trashed their coach and now have the best record in the whole bloody league. Man, I wonder what coach Ken Hitchcock could have done with the cast of players that Buffalo has. The Sabres are still too small, suck at faceoffs and need better centers. Ville Leino has been playing so much better lately so why now? His paycheck was the same size back in November as it is now. The trade of Kassian for Hodgson and Sulzer is looking decent so far but we do miss the Goose at the faceoff circle. They are two points into eighth place right now and they have a tough schedule finishing up. Well let us hope that they make it.
2) It is always nice having someone who is used to drive fast doing the driving to Myrtle Beach. We shaved at least an hour each off the trip down and back and that includes lengthy stops for chow. For the most part we ate rather well down in Myrtle. That is until someone saw a Ryan's buffet and recommended it for dinner and so we pulled in. OK. Your King did not travel 850 miles to eat at an Old Country Buffet but that is what we were stuck with. It was not bad but not what I want when I go to Myrtle. We made up for it the next day when your King treated the guys to a Calabash Seafood Buffet. The crab put up a valiant fight but in the end it was massacred. And we had an extra plus too with a hot Russian waitress taking care of us. She did have a fine butt but I am happily digressing. Man, I love these buffets but I think my days of getting my money's worth are coming to an end as I cannot chow down like I used to. What I did to the crab at the Seafare Restaurant only a few years ago is stuff of legends. It was such a massacre that they moved the restaurant far away from where I normally stay. Cowards!
3) The gorgeous spring weather that we had has now disappeared. For two straight weeks in March we had high temps of 60 or higher. I cannot recall in my whole life a stretch of weather like that. Now the weather has returned to normal and it sucks but I still may have to mow my front yard this weekend. Amazing.
Oh well, that is enough for tonight. I just wanted to type a bit to let you all know that I haven't died, much to your chagrin I bet. Man, it is 9:16 and I am almost ready to head for bed. Too many long days at work are taking its toll on me but I will try to get some exercise this weekend to try to get back into better shape this year so I can feel stronger when I have to put in long hours. No more riding carts for your King as I am walking the course this year! And it is about time!

Your King Returns From Spring Training

It has been rather quiet here in Moronica for the last few weeks. I just haven't had much to write about and when I did I was just too lazy to do it. So I may as well write about my spring training golf trip to Myrtle Beach that I just returned from. Three friends of mine and I traveled to Myrtle to play four different courses this past week to get in some preparation for this year's upcoming golf season at the Livingston Country Club. The courses were, Heather Glen, Glen Dornach, Kings North and Long Bay. All four courses were great to play on with the best by far being Kings North.
Heather Glen featured 27 holes with lots of sand, water and waste areas. I played rather well on the course and shot a 91. On the third nine I shot a 41 and if I had only putted so-so for the whole day my scores would have been much better. I was constantly on the green in regulation but could not connect for birds, let alone in some cases pars. The greens were very fast and it was tough to get the speed right. It is a great course and I recommend playing it if you head down there.
Glen Dornach was a challenge. With more water and sand but fewer waste areas it was a tough but fair challenge that your King was not up to. I guess I was a little stiff from the day before and it showed as I played like I never held a club in my life. The last three holes on the course could be summed up in one word - bitches. With water, sand, waste areas and the intercoastal waterway coming into play they were three picturesque holes but a bitch to play. Not a good thing when you are playing badly. We played the back nine for our replay to get our extra nine in for the day and I played them marginally better finishing with a great par on eighteen.
Kings North, located at the Myrtle National Golf Course, was a treat. A truly beautiful and well maintained course with fairways that made it seem like you were playing on AstroTurf. I played much better and I was happy to shoot a 92 for my first eighteen holes. The course had many holes where you had to play shots over large expanses of water but I managed to stay dry. This course is a must play if you go to Myrtle. For our extra nine we played the front nine of the South Creek course. It was nowhere near as nice as Kings North but still presented challenges. It was here where I bagged my first 'house in one'. The hole's left side was lined with homes and as I hit my tee shot I cringed as I hooked it a bit left and plunked a house loudly. I did not look for that ball and moved quickly along feeling great shame.
Long Bay was probably the weakest of the four courses that we played but it was still an outstanding course. It featured a Jack Nicklaus designed hole from hell. Hole number ten featured a peninsula fairway surrounded by a waste area with lots of 'moguls' if you hit it outside of the waste areas. I guess I do not need to tell you where my first shot ended up now do I? I had moments of brilliance on the course but had too many nightmares leading to a below average round. My crowning achievement for the day was parring the tough eighteenth hole. It is a 380 yard long hole that had tons of water on the right all the way to the green. I blocked my tee shot a bit to the left leaving me 205 yards to the green from the left rough. It was not a pretty sight checking out my next shot and seeing the trouble surrounded the green so I took out my trusty seven wood, which showed up to play all week, and laced a fantastic shot to the middle of the green. I had a forty foot putt for bird that I just missed and tapped in for par. A great finish to my spring training trip as we then hopped in the van and headed for home after finishing up.
All in all it was a great trip as we ate well and had a good time, especially for your King as my wallet had a bit more moolah in it since I pretty much cleaned up on all of the side bet games that we played and I only lost one ball into the water. That in itself is amazing considering the amount of water I had to play over and around for the week.  It was a lot of golf. ninety nine holes worth, crammed into a four day period.  I am now almost ready for the season but I will need to work on my putting big time as the touch I had in January was nowhere to be seen in Myrtle. I will get to Livingston early tomorrow and spend some time chatting with my putter. If I can get that working, along with the few little changes I have made with my swing maybe I can show some serious improvement this season. I am tired of playing like an eighteen handicapper and I know I can knock that down a few pegs as I need to become more consistent. There is a bit more to write about the trip but I will save that for another posting.

Patience Pays Off!! And Other Things of Relative Non-Importance

1) Well I waited until February 29, as Santa told me, and my patience paid off. I left my stupid tree up and this morning I found that he left me a new golf wheelie push cart and a new pair of golf shoes. It was exactly what you King needed and wanted. I may have had to wait for two months for Christmas but the big guy really came through for me. I thank him profusely.
2) Is there anything more annoying than British soccer announcers? Man, I love the sport but they drive me nuts at times. If a team or a city has an 'A' at the end of their name it suddenly becomes an 'R'. For example the soccer club Aston Villa becomes Aston Viller or the team from Italy called Roma becomes Romer. Another thing about these announcers is their frequent way of making a point and then ending that point with a question that really does not beg to be answered. That leads me to believe that some of these announcers are Welsh as that is a mannerism of theirs, isn't it? Whoops! There I go and use one of their mannerisms. So sorry. But I still enjoy their commentary even with their annoying habits. But then again they probably find we colonials just as annoying.
3) Well, in regards to my last blog about the missing BVDs I have to say that the order I placed Saturday evening from a site called 'His Room' arrived yesterday. I have to give this place a pat on the back for getting me exactly what I wanted so quickly and at a very reasonable price. AND since my order was just large enough shipping was free and that is a big bonus for your financially strapped King. I now have 15 pairs of BVDs for less than three bucks a pair. I guess I will be in good shape for quite a while.
4) In a big shake up at my place of employment your King has been moved from his cube that has been his residence for the past five years. It looks as though I have been exiled to Elba...or in other words, the far side of the building and I do mean the FAR side. At first I thought it was to isolate me from the rest of the general population of the place, probably to keep me from spreading the propaganda of my Kingdom, but after getting settled I think I scored big time. I still may have been exiled but it is a nice exile. I still have a bit of organizing to do but I think I will be a more productive happy cat. At least I won't have to breathe in the fumes of burnt popcorn from the break room anymore and strive to keep myself from passing out by inhaling them. That has to be one of the most obnoxious smells ever and it takes forever for the fumes to dissipate. UGH!
5) We have now reached calendar Spring, that is March, April and May, in Moronica. It has been a rather quiet winter and that is an understatement. While it may still deliver us a wallop before it is done the next ten days look very springlike for my Kingdom per the Weather Channel website. Maybe now the Town of Gates can fix the craters on the road to Moronica, especially around the curve in the road just before you get to my Kingdom. I can only pray, when I head home, that there is no one coming the opposite way when I take that curve so I can veer around the craters, since your King does not drive a moon buggy.
6) A new film is being released by Moronica Pictures very soon. It is about the sculptor's travails, design and the creation of the statue "The Venus de Milo". The movie is called "A Farewell To Arms" and will be in theatres shortly. Be the first to see it!!
Well, I have run out of nonsense for this evening, and I bet you are all happy about that, so I will end this post. Have a nice evening my friends!

BVDs, BVDs, Where Fore Art Thou BVDs!!!

You know what really sucks? It sucks when you have a favorite brand of undershorts and cannot find them anywhere locally. Last night I took a trip to stock up on some BVD undershorts. I like them as they are relatively inexpensive, maintain their fit and last longer than most other brands. JC Penneys, at the Greece Ridge Mall, usually carries this brand but when I visited the store it looked like they were closing them out as not much was left in BVD's small, and I do mean small, section located in the Men's Undershorts Dept. I was livid, not to mentioned pissed off. I stomped out and headed to check out Sears, Macy's and Target even though I knew my searches there were going to be fruitless and, of course, they were. While I was making my rounds I checked the prices for other brands of undershorts and was amazed at what I saw. They put some dopey guys name on a package of shorts and are charging $27 for a package of three briefs. OMG man!! I just want a decent pair of undershorts to wear...I don't want to wear "Johnny Smith's" specialty brand of briefs for a bazillion dollars apiece. My stinky butt isn't worth that price.
Now, as a good guy, I would love to keep the money that I spend on such things local so it upsets me when I have to go online to get something as simple as BVD brand underwear. I have tried other brands...some lose their fit and start to sag, some just fall apart after a few wearings but BVD brand undertrou lasts and lasts. Hmm, maybe that is why these stores have stopped selling them but I digress. Maybe I am paranoid but it always seems that when I like something a store decides to get rid of it. An example of this would be Mancini brand sweet peppers in tomato sauce. I used to get a jar of this from Wegmans whenever I cooked up some Tony Costanza's cajun sausages. There is nothing like a Tony Costanza cajun sausage with peppers and tomato sauce on a bun but since I liked it Wegmans got rid of it. I now have to buy a pepper and a can of tomato sauce and make my own when I cook up a Tony Costanza cajun sausage. It is just as good but now I have to do more work and clean up more dishes. I preferred the lazy way. Another example would be Tombstone Pizza as I liked that and again Wegmans stopped carrying it. Maybe I should get rid of my shoppers club card that is telling Wegmans what I like to buy. And it is not just Wegmans. I bought my squirrel chow from Walmart and guess what...it looks like they have phased that out too. Heaven forbid if I run out of squirrel chow and my squirrels decide to revolt.
But getting back to the BVD situation you would think that at least one local store would keep a good stock of these on hand. But no. I had counted on Penneys to be my bastion for BVDs but they have failed your King miserably. All I want are undershorts that I know will not let your King, and his royal heiny, down. And yes, I found an online men's store that sells my BVDs and I stocked up so JC Penneys can now go screw itself....Man am I nasty today or what? I guess you would be nasty too if it concerned the comfort of your butt.

Boom Boom...Out Go The Lights

Well, in the middle of the Sabres-Bruins hockey the lights went out in Moronica. Hmm, Maybe Vicki Lawrence can make a song out of that but I digress. The winds were predicted to howl last night and howl they did but they were not even singing at full speed yet when the area went dark. I have to give kudos to RG&E as they had the power back up in 90 minutes. We have had winds in this area much stronger than what we had last night without barely a flicker but out they went.
At least the lights came back on in time for me to see the Sabres beat the Bruins in a shootout. It looks like the Sabres, now relatively healthy and despite Mindy Ruff's horrible system and coaching ability, are trying to make a run at the playoffs again. They did it last year only to run out of gas in the playoffs.The season started off so well and the turn in it came when Milan Lucic ran Sabre goalie Ryan Miller and left him with a concussion. The thing was that nobody turned out Lucic's lights after it happened. The team pussified when it should have gone into caveman mode. Now I am not a fan of the big time brawls, and I have seen a couple of doozies between these two teams, but if there was ever a time for an all out brawl between two teams that was the time. Nobody came to Miller's defense and it was a sad sight to see. This, I believe, led to the Sabres slide down to the bottom, not the injuries that the Sabre hierarchy claims was the reason.

Hell Freezes Over!!!

Shock of shocks. Watching the news tonight it was reported that the Madison Square Garden Network (MSG) and the Time Warner feud has finally ended on day 48 of the battle. The Basketball fans get their Knicks back and I get my Sabres back. Wait a second...that does not sound like a good deal for me as the Sabres suck eggs and the Knicks are hot. Man, I am now wondering why I let out a whoop when I heard of the deal. Oh well, at the very least I get my Red Bulls back for the upcoming MLS season and that puts a smile on your King's puss.
What is funny is the last thing that I knew they were not even speaking to each other as they both took their toys and went home. Rumor has it the State of New York did some prodding to get these two babies to stop crying and play together like good children. Looks like another win for America's best Governor Andrew Cuomo!!! Well, maybe not a win but I think he gets credited for an assist at least. Well whatever it was the MSG blackout is finally over and we again get to hear Rick Jenneret's great play by play wasted on the stinky Sabres.
Speaking of the pitiful Sabres, who we now get to watch, they got spanked by the Flyers last night. The Sabres came out fast and led 2-0 after one period and then all hell broke loose. Philly scored some quick goals in the second and then Mindy called a time out to 'settle' his club. He settled them down all right as he ranted like a fool and the Sabres then rolled over and played dead, no, they didn't play dead as they just plain died. What kind of proof does Terry Pegula need to see before he finally realizes that the team has tuned out Mindy Ruff?? If seeing the last two periods of Thursday night's game isn't enough to click those brain cells on in Pegula's skull I do not know what will do it. And we now get to see this garbage on the telly. How I miss the MSG blackout already.

Moronica Flu Strikes! Get Your Shots Now!!!

1) You know what drives your King absolutely bonkers?? I will call it the Moronica Flu. This happens when a person catches it and does stupid things. I sent an email yesterday to someone who must have had a serious case of this flu. I was proactive and gave this person all the pertinent information required and what do I get today?? An email back requesting the exact same information that I provided in my email yesterday. Why to I even try to be proactive when I am subjected to moronica like this? I may not be the brightest bulb around but I would like to think that the person at the other end of an informative email is a bit brighter than a ten watt bulb. Geez!!!
2) Well, after visiting the Royal Accountant yesterday I found that Moronica once again qualifies for its yearly foreign aid payment from the United States Government. The amount is not as much as last year but it will be needed and appreciated. I always wish it could be more but beggars cannot be choosers.
3) The Buffalo Sabres season...may it rest in peace. Please, oh please, let Terry Pegula recover from the Moronica Flu and get rid of Darcy Regier and Mindy Ruff. Is that too much to ask for?
4) Nothing like coming home and finding a rare message left on my answering machine. Could it be Yolanda Vega? Crystal Egger? Vladimir Putin? Warren Buffett? Nope. As usual it was from some company looking for my ex-queen. Boy, I wonder what THEY want.... As if I didn't know. I do enjoy calling them back and telling them that they are two years too late...and then rat out her phone number. At least it stops them from bugging me.
5) Why couldn't George Washington, Martin Luther King and Abe Lincoln have been born during the summer??
Oh well, It is another tiresome, boring work week night. As you can tell by the number of postings in my blog so far this year I have had many of those nights. Maybe it is time for me to find a new queen ......................... Pardon me as it took about fifteen minutes for me to stop laughing, collect my thoughts and continue. I may be a bit moronic but I am not stupid. Though some people may beg to differ on that. Bye for now!

Maniacal Alpacas Reported in Washington County New York

We just received a special report from one of Moronica News Central's lead field reporters that a delivery person was attacked by a pack of Alpacas near a town in Washington County New York.
In an interview with Moronica's reporter the shocked delivery person said " I was going to this property to make a delivery. I was warned by a coworker as I was leaving to do my job that there were Alpacas at that address but I thought what he meant were either that the people were part of an Alpaca Indian Tribe or they were some Deliverance type of people that you would find living in Appalachia. So I was preparing myself for that."
The delivery person continued "I arrived at the address, got out of my car, and approached the house when all of a sudden I see these big furry animals heading my way fast. It was only then I realized that I did not really listen to my coworker when he warned me and that Alpacas were in fact big animals with attitude. They had mouths like camels with lots of teeth and faces that looked like Bin Laden's and they were coming straight at me. I was scared out of my wits but after getting bitten and kicked a few times I made it back to the safety of my car only to have the beasts snarling and spitting at me. I started my car and got out of there as fast as I could.
The reporter also stated that the delivery person felt like it was a scene out of Deliverance and considered herself lucky she wasn't Ned Beatty'd. So I guess the moral of this report is to avoid Washington County Alpacas unless you want to squeal like a pig.
This story is basically true and I want to thank a good friend who gave me the gist of this story so that the world can be alerted to these crazed Alpacas! To be fair some items in this report were adjusted to protect the innocent and make the story fit for Moronican consumption.

Some Bah From Your Favorite Humbug

1) I think it is time we had the Ghost Hunters come to Rochester, New York for a visit. While they were in Naples they should have come up and checked out a car that is owned by a friend of mine. It seems lately that the car is haunted. The power windows to my friend's BMW, yes BMW, seem to go up and down on their very own. Nobody has to be anywhere near the car for the windows to be doing this so it is just plain easy to figure out that this vehicle is haunted. Luckily the windows to the official vehicle of your King are manually powered thus making it difficult for the spirits to have fun with it. Hmm, methinks your King should be driving a BMW.
2) Word has it that Santa has been dumped by Pepsi. In an official report from Pepsi headquarters it seems that Santa's close association with Coca-Cola over the years has made his advertising with Pepsi a bit unbelievable so Pepsi has jettisoned our favorite bearded fat man from its payroll. Santa could not be reached at this time for comment as he is vacationing in the Bahamas. Looks like the jolly old man will be working a bit more this year than last(see posting from August '11). Heartbreaking.
3) We had about fifteen inches of snow this past weekend in Moronica and after today a good chunk of it has melted. Even the squirrels are coming out to my feeder for a snack. From the looks of the forecast the ground may be bare again, at least where it did not get piled up, as the temperatures are going to be in the mid-forties by Wednesday. What a goofy winter.
4) Speaking of weather I cannot think of a hotter meteorologist than the Weather Channel's Crystal Egger. What I wouldn't give to find her under my Christmas Tree with a nice red bow in her hair with a sticky that says TO: King Dinglefritz...FROM: Santa. Now that would make my wait worthwhile!!! Hooooboy!!
Wait, wait...I have just received a report from a Moronica News Central reporter from North Central New York. After a quick review I will post it later tonight. Stay tuned!!!!

Winter Finally Arrives With an Attitude in Moronica and Stuff

It is now February 12 and it looks like winter has finally arrived here in Moronica. We have had about 8-10 inches so far, mostly thanks to that stinking Lake Ontario, and it is still falling. I drove to Wegmans to get my paper and the roads are absolutely atrocious. I am sure the road crews are doing the best they can but for a while the snow was falling at well over an inch an hour and it is hard for them to keep up to that. But at least it now looks like winter outside. As long as I am home and have nowhere to go I can sit and enjoy watching the flakes fall. While I hate the white crap this winter has felt strange without it and when we did get some it was gone the next day.
I am glad I made it to the Golf Expo yesterday because I certainly would not have made the drive in this crap today. I wonder if they shut down route 390 near the airport again today as it is much worse out than it was at this time Saturday. Also, the funny thing about this winter is when it does snow a lot it seems to come on the weekend, which is fine with me.
1) I watched a movie Friday night that I am dying to write about but I missed the first 20 minutes of it so I cannot at this time. Unlike 'Earth's Final Hours', for which I missed the first 20 minutes of and I thank god for that, I need to see the beginning of this movie because it is so weird. The name of this movie is 'Rubber' and it is about a sentient tire, of all things, that rolls around and has the ability to blow up animals and make people's heads explode. That last hour of the movie is so strange that I need to see the start, which I will on Monday night, because this movie is a must to write about. Hmm, a sentient tire...what will they think of next??
2) I had a good laugh today watching Italian soccer. Powerhouse Inter Milan lost a home game to league cellar dweller Novara today. Man, how I love it when a 'Yankees' like team takes it on the chin from an underdog, especially at home.
3) I filled up my squirrel feeder yesterday but even the squirrels are smart enough to stay home when it sucks this badly out. When you see the amount of traffic out on the roads on a day like today it makes you wonder which species is actually smarter when it sucks out. So far the score today is Squirrels 1 - King - 0. I will stay home for the rest of the day in hopes of evening the score. We shall see if they venture out.

FORE!!!! Route 390 Closed As They Let The Snow Play Through.

Your King decided to take a road trip down to the Dome Arena in Henrietta today, incognito of course, to visit the Golf Expo that was being held there. It was a tad disappointing as most of the boothes were either golf courses advertising themselves or charities trying to get donations. There were maybe four good areas where you could peruse a goodly amount of golf equipment so I spent some time in them looking at the merchandise. I really only need a few items, some I wish that Santa will bring me on February 29, but what I really wanted was a new gap/sand wedge. I found what I was looking for in one of the sales areas so I bought it. It is a 52 degree Cleveland C-15 wedge. Cleveland wedges are supposed to be one of the top of the line models and it replaces the piece of crap sand wedge that I had. It may take some getting used to as I expect this club to enhance any spin I put on the ball thereby increasing hold on the green and eliminating the BOING factor. It was rather pricey but still a lot cheaper than buying it at Dicks.
Now, the weather today was rather poor when I headed down to Henrietta and travel was a bit slower as we finally had a visit from Old Man Winter. Coming back from the Expo was rather interesting. I found that the entrance to Route 390 North was blocked off at the 390/590 split. I figured that there must be an accident somewhere so I went up 590 and crossed the city using 490 to return to Moronica. When I stopped at the sub shop to grab a bite for lunch I asked a gentleman if he knew what happened on 390. He told me that he heard that they shut it down at the airport to prevent another mass pileup, which involved over thirty vehicles, like the one they had in that area a couple of years ago. Now that is all well and good but are they going to do this every time it snows in Rochester??? A few years ago they built a mini tunnel around the airport in that area which raised the ground level next to the expressway on the airport side considerably. Due to the stupidity and lack of foresight of the designers mother nature now uses this increased elevation as its own runway to send snow flying across the expressway. During a wind driven snow this area has become one of the most dangerous stretches of road in New York. The stretch of expressway involved is only about 300 yards long but when the snow is blowing that part of the road can have visibility instantly reduced to zero even though on either side of the stretch the visibility is fine. They tried installing one of those cheap orange snow fences to try to alleviate this problem but that fence is a complete failure. I have watched the snow just fly over, and thumb its nose at, it when it was blowing and you can tell that it presented no obstacle to the snow. The designers of this airport mini tunnel 'improvement' should be enshrined into my Moronica Hall of Fame so if you know who designed this marvel please let me know. These designers are probably the same folks that design residential developments right next to rivers.
The one thing that would alleviate this problem that I would recommend would be to plant some bushy trees, pines probably, that would grow to about twenty feet along the 300 yard length of the expressway. That begs to ask if these bushy trees will interfere with airport operations? It is a big question as that would be the only way to protect the users of the expressway from this hazard but you do not want replace one hazard and create one for planes by doing this. It is sort of a catch twenty-two as they only real answer is to dig up that tunnel and return that area to the way it was. But nobody is going to do that.

A Trio of Tripe from your King

1) Coach Mindy Ruff of the Sabres is out for today's game with an upper body injury. I can tell as the Sabres are up 3-0 early in the second period. Jordan Leopold is now my favorite player on the team. Mindy may still be the coach but Leopold flattened him. Man that put a smile on my face. You may say "Boy King, you are one cold SOB" but so be it. Mindy must go and if it takes him getting plastered to get him out for a while then maybe he should get flattened more often. I have noticed that Mindy is at the game hiding up in the rafters, the wuss, maybe he should stay there. Hey, Tony Romo and Ryan Fitzpatrick played through cracked ribs why can't he??
2) The city of Rochester has been inundated by a murder of crows. And we all know what crows like to do and do lots of...poop. The areas where the crows hang out look like a war zone with all sorts of white bomb marks everywhere. The city has taken steps to drive them out as they have hired a group of people who are very good at it. Their goal is to drive them back into the countryside where they belong. HOWEVER, after watching Channel 13's news tonight, I see that there is a group of idiots that like the crows in the city. While I am a nature lover these morons must love the sight of crow poop stained stuff. The people that Channel 13 interviewed, that were pro-crow, each seemed to be a few cards short of a deck. Oh well, there is always someone that has to be against anything. You have to love them.
3) The Kingdom of Moronica now has a Major Domo and a Royal Comic Artist. What postition will be filled next? It is hard to get people to fill these official positions as these positions are unpaid due to the fact that the Moronican Treasury has been left pretty much empty but the ex-queen. It is almost time for Moronica's yearly financial aid from the United States. I wonder how much my Kingdom will collect this year. Now, I just have to expertly hide it from my ex-queen.

It is a quiet night here in Moronica. Not much to write about tonight though I am glad that I am now consistently adding posts to my blog of garbage. What I need to do is to scan the world looking for morons to write about. When I get enough info maybe I will write about the moron that went ballistic in Brother Wease's studio this past Monday. She makes the pro-crow people look like Einsteins. This woman is definitely missing about half of the deck. That is enough for tonight my friends. Only three tidbits to captivate your minds this evening. Hopefully next time I will have something really exciting from the Kingdom to expound on. Until next time.....