We just received a special report from one of Moronica News Central's lead field reporters that a delivery person was attacked by a pack of Alpacas near a town in Washington County New York.
In an interview with Moronica's reporter the shocked delivery person said " I was going to this property to make a delivery. I was warned by a coworker as I was leaving to do my job that there were Alpacas at that address but I thought what he meant were either that the people were part of an Alpaca Indian Tribe or they were some Deliverance type of people that you would find living in Appalachia. So I was preparing myself for that."
The delivery person continued "I arrived at the address, got out of my car, and approached the house when all of a sudden I see these big furry animals heading my way fast. It was only then I realized that I did not really listen to my coworker when he warned me and that Alpacas were in fact big animals with attitude. They had mouths like camels with lots of teeth and faces that looked like Bin Laden's and they were coming straight at me. I was scared out of my wits but after getting bitten and kicked a few times I made it back to the safety of my car only to have the beasts snarling and spitting at me. I started my car and got out of there as fast as I could.
The reporter also stated that the delivery person felt like it was a scene out of Deliverance and considered herself lucky she wasn't Ned Beatty'd. So I guess the moral of this report is to avoid Washington County Alpacas unless you want to squeal like a pig.
This story is basically true and I want to thank a good friend who gave me the gist of this story so that the world can be alerted to these crazed Alpacas! To be fair some items in this report were adjusted to protect the innocent and make the story fit for Moronican consumption.
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