King Rants on MSG

No, I am not talking about the crap that they put into Chinese food but the Madison Square Garden Network (MSG) that we watch on cable TV. It seems that MSG and Time Warner (TW) are at odds over what TW will pay MSG for programming. From what I gather there was a deal but MSG backed out because TW would not add MSG's rotten FUSE network to their lineup. Now MSG wants even more scratch from TW. At 12:00 a.m. tonight MSG gets blacked out which means that I lose my Sabres. You might think that I would be very upset over this but, after watching the Sabres play lately, I consider this an act of mercy by the MSG network to all of mankind.
The Sabres lost to Ottawa tonight in a shootout 3-2 but Ottawa could, and should, have won the game 9-2 as they hit the goalpost six times and the crossbar once. This means that they beat Sabre goalie Jhonas Enroth a total of nine times yet they only scored twice. Watching the Sabres play in the offensive zone has been very offensive lately. Their passing is pathetic as it seems the passes are always behind their teammates or in their teammate's skates so they waste valuable time getting control of the puck. And that is when they pass to their own team mates. When their passes are on the tape it is usually to one of the opponents who then skate off on a break. I won't miss that. Mindy Ruff has to go!!
Back to MSG, I actually wonder what the companies that advertise on MSG are going to think when a huge chunk of MSG's audience gets blacked out. They are not going to want to pay the advertising rates that MSG charges for a normal audience. But that does not seem to stop these networks from trying to suck every last dime out of us since if TW has to pay more who gets stuck with the bill? It is we the viewers.
I am getting sick of these constant blackout threats from these networks. Earlier in the year it was the ESPN family of networks that were going to get blacked out on TW but, in the end, a deal was hammered out keeping ESPN on the air.
When I had DirecTV the Versus Network got blacked out for a few months but then it returned in time for the NHL playoffs. Times are hard and it is getting to the point where the cost of getting cable or satellite TV is going to be prohibitive. Right now I have a two year deal with TW that holds my costs but when that expires next June I can't wait to see what happens to my bill. I cannot threaten to go back to satellite TV as Moronica is heavily forested and the one line of sight I had to the satellites has now been blocked by the ever growing trees. It would suck if I had to make a decision to get rid of cable because your King likes his tube. I enjoy the Science and Discovery networks on cable and watch them a lot to try to broaden my feeble mind. Oh well, maybe I can cut back on what I eat. Maybe I can make more Hamburger Helper without the hamburger. Boy does that sound tasty, doesn't it? My dad used to make spaghetti and he would put a little butter on it and eat it. Maybe that will be back on my menu more often but I digress. MSG and TW should get a deal done ASAP. All their sniping does is piss off the consumers, namely us. I am sick of seeing MSG's commercials telling us to switch to satellite. What happens when MSG and the satellite companies start sniping with each other?? As you can see it is just a stupid, vicious cycle and it makes your King very upset. I can live without watching the Sabres on TV and MSG had better understand that if we stop having access to their programming they may not get their audience back when they finally do come to terms. I wish I could tell both MSG and TW to take a hike.
Well, I have groused about this subject enough and it riles me up the more I think about it so I will now end this rant by wishing all of my valued readers a very pleasant evening. Good night!

Mumblings from Moronica

1) North Korea has a new leader by the name of Kim Jong Un. Looking at this guys picture he looks like a fat little toad. With the starvation that is rampant in that country this guy certainly has not been away from the dinner table. The North Koreans call this guy the "Supreme Leader". I call this guy 'Toady'. The reins of the world's most erratic country are now in the hands of this guy. I wonder what is up Toady's sleeve to spring upon the world.
2) The Bills managed to beat Denver last Sunday. I would have bet the ranch that Denver would have run roughshod over the Bills with their vaunted running game but, as always, I was wrong. The Bills actually showed life and played a good game. Too bad it was blacked out. Only a moron would schedule a game in Buffalo at the end of December, let alone on Christmas Eve, once again proving that the NFL hates the Bills and will do whatever they can to screw this franchise more than it screws itself.
3) The Iowa caucuses are coming up and the Seven Stooges are campaigning hot and heavy to get that boost to their campaign. The best of the bunch is Jon Huntsman but he does not stand a chance to get elected. The best of the rest, in my eyes, is Mitt Romney. The rest of them are so far to the right, except maybe for consumate Washington insider Newt Gingrinch, that they really are unelectable. Gingrinch, and yes I deliberately spelled it wrong, is unelectable in his own special way. For one thing he got paid over 1.5 million dollars from FNMA and Freddie Mac for some obscure reason, and from the state of those two entities, he did a rotten job.
4) Once again the boobs in Iran are doing their best to get the world pissed off at them. I can only imagine what the world would do if they attempted to close of the Strait of Hormuz and cut off the supply of oil. First of all the Strait is recognized as international waters and closing them would be considered to be an act of war. Personally, if they went in that direction, I would make a deal with the Russians and the Chinese. The three of us would go into and clean up that wacko regime and put in a more world friendly, note that I said world, regime. They are almost as wacked out as the North Korean regime and maybe even a tad more dangerous in the long run. The world would be better off without the Iranian Theocracy that runs that country. The good Iranian people did not deserve the Shah and they do not deserve the current batch of loonies in charge.
5) Nothing will make your King happier than seeing the New York Jets, along with their loudmouth bag of wind coach, miss the playoffs. I would much rather see any other team make it in, personally I would like to see the Bengals make it, and the Jets going home. That would put a smile on my face. Marv Lewis has worked wonders with that team this season and should get consideration for 'Coach of the Year'.
Well, that is enough of my nonsense for this evening. I wish you all a pleasant evening.

King Finds Note

After reading the comment left by Santa on my last blog I looked around my tree for the note that he said that he left. Well I found it buried in the middle of the tree. No wonder I did not see it. Here is what the note said:
"Merry Christmas Dingle!! To make my job a bit easier I put you on my delayed gift list since what I am giving you will not be needed by you until spring. Being a good friend I knew that you would understand. I am getting old and whatever I can do to make things a bit easier during my work night will help. I will be making another flight to all those on the delayed list on February 29th so feel free to leave your tree up until then. Thank you for your patience and understanding. Ho, ho ho, Santa"
Well, as everyone who knows me will attest, patience is not one of my strong suits, though I have been getting better lately. But I guess I can wait until the 29th of February for my goodies. I hope that they will be worth waiting for and not more cans of nuts. But knowing my luck I will get more nuts and a copy of "Trannys with Knives". OMG!!

Santa Stiffs Your King!!

Well, I woke up this morning hoping to find a few nice goodies under my tree but nooooo. From the expanse of empty space under my tree it looks like someone pretty much forgot your King. I knew that 2011 was a very bad year for the Kingdom of Moronica but this confirms it. I did get a couple of things though. Santa left me two cans of nuts. NUTS?!?! Is Santa trying to tell me something or what? He also left me the crappy sci-fi movie called 'Congo'. CONGO??? What in hell did I do to deserve that??? I am a good and benevolent king. I try to do the best for my kingdom and what do I get? Nuts and 'Congo'. I really thought Santa was my good friend. We always have a good chat when we speak to each other on the blower(phone for you non-Brits) but to get just salted nuts and 'Congo' leaves me flabbergasted. 'Congo'? Is Santa trying to tell me that I look like an ape? Well, way back in the old days when I was a semi-athlete and played soccer, my friends said I looked like a big gorilla so they stuck me in goal but that was many years ago. Nuts? I like salted nuts but I can go to the store and buy them myself. I really did not expect to get nuts on Christmas. Obviously my wish list got lost by the U.S. Postal Service when I sent it in. No wonder they are in such dire straights but I digress. I should give Santa a call and say 'what the hey?' but he only just finished his big job and should be now getting ready to leave for his month long trip to the Bahamas so I will be nice and not bother him. Knowing my luck, if I do call the big guy, he will get ticked off and not even leave me nuts next year. So, I guess, I will just suck it up and eat my nuts while watching 'Congo'.
So, even with the stiffing I got last night, I still want to wish all of my royal subjects and friends a very Merry Christmas. I hope you all got what you wanted and then some. Enjoy!!

Merry Christmas from the King of Moronica

I want to wish all of my loyal readers and subjects a very Merry Christmas. It was a tough year in Moronica but Christmas is the time of year to put crappola on the back burner and be positive about life. So please have a safe and Merry Christmas. So says King Dinglefritz I, Ruler of Moronica.

King Receives Thanks for Vital Warning

A couple of my valued readers spoke with your King regarding my vital warning in yesterday's post. Thanks to my warning their brains will not be rotted by, what possibly may be, the worst sci fi movie since 'Plan Nine From Outer Space". Actually Ed Wood's movie is much better than the SyFy tripe that I warned about yesterday.  It is obvious that the script was written by a fourth grader for his english project and he/she received a failing grade for it.
I am still trying to figure out why SyFy can justify putting out mindless crap like that for their big Saturday Night movie. Even Mr. Hankey smells better than 'Earth's Final Hours'. It is a shame that I had to take one for the team and watched this crap so I could deliver my warning.
Oh well, It is time for a Mr. Hankey Christmas on the Comedy Channel so I will finish this little post for tonight. If I happen to catch another movie that is totally unwatchable and moronic I will do my bit and warn you all, my valued readers. Have a pleasant evening.

Your King Delivers a Vital Warning!!!

This past Saturday I happened unto what is probably one of the most moronic movies that I have ever seen in my life and I have seen plenty of them. I missed the first half hour and I consider myself lucky. This clunker of a movie is called 'Earth's Final Hours' and it was on the SyFy channel. It was one of those SyFy originals that they made for five bucks. This time they spent the five bucks, which goes nowhere near as far as it used to, on the special effects because nothing was spent on the script or any thinking that went into the script. Somehow, someway the Earth's rotation got stopped in a matter of hours by some kind of 'white hole' that passed through the earth. It stopped the Earth's rotation which stopped the Earth's magnetic field from working. Hmm, the last I knew it was the spinning of the Earth's molten outer core over our solid inner core that provided our magnetic field. But, thanks to a CIA agent, his partner, his son and his son's girlfriend they managed to save the world. It just so happened that many years ago this scientist, put away into a nut farm by the CIA, had managed to have placed by NASA two satellites for just such an emergency to save the whole world. And boy do these satellites move fast as they moved halfway around the world in seconds to get into position to do the needful later in the movie. The son managed to get control of this scientists assistant's computer, which was conveniently hidden, hooked up and ready to go but used language that was obsolete, in a matter of seconds as he managed to use a program that found the password. WOW!!! How amazing is it that the kid can handle an obsolete computer language but CIA scientists trying to take control of the two satellites from their hi tech control room couldn't.  But the CIA did not want to save the world, just the USA part of it so after the good CIA agent broke the 'loony' scientist out of the nut farm the bad CIA agents managed to shoot the scientist as he was escaping BUT, as he was croaking he managed to get all the info out that was needed to find the hidden satellite control setup and other crap to the good CIA agent. Well, after the scientist died the good guys pulled right into the satellite control place so the timing there couldn't be worse for the poor Earth. They then start the process of saving the world but the bad CIA agents find them and moronica ensues. With a split second left, and with the bad CIA boss guy whacking away at their satellite dish with a rod, why he did not pull out the wires just baffles me, they manage to trigger the satellites into action which, of course, starts the earth spinning again and saving everyone. There were a lot of other moronic things that happened in this movie but I would sprain my typing fingers if I tried to list them all.
I know that this movie review is helter skelter all over the place but that is all this movie deserves. Now that I have gotten this crappy movie out of my system I will try to delete its memory from my mind. I hope this review will spare someone from ever having to watch this piece of crap and suffer like I did so I can consider it my good deed of the day. But if you do want to watch 'Earth's Final Hours' please park your brain in neutral or turn it off completely or you will be agonized. You have been warned.

King Kraps on Buffalo Sports Redux

1) Well, the Bills lost again. Every week it is looking like a bigger and bigger mistake for the Bills in giving Quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick that contract extension. He just plain sucks right now. The Bill's defense is holier than a catholic mass. Spiller is starting to get yards but Coach Gailey does not want to give him the ball much. He had twelve carries for ninety one yards but I guess seven and a half yards per carry was not good enough. Gailey must think it is more fun watching Fitzpatrick throw interceptions. Now, in the middle of the season I thought one good draft might just put them on the road to the playoffs but that thought has long since been deleted from my mind. It is too bad that the game against Denver will probably be blacked out. I would have loved to see Denver's game plan against the Bills. Tebow and McGehee will probably run wild. If Tebow throws the ball more than ten times I will be shocked.
2) Your King tried to watch the Sabres game against the Pittsburgh Penguins this past Saturday. I knew what the result was going to be after Miller whiffed on that shot from the blue line early in the first. After two more goals and Miller being replaced by Enroth I had had enough. I did what any normal person would do and plugged in a good movie about mutated ants. "Them!" was a classic from the mid-fifties and I enjoyed it. After the movie was over I went back to the game. It was 8-3 at that point and I was figuring that owner Terry Pegula would probably love to feed his team to those mutant ants. They play as if they have tuned out Coach Ruff, injuries notwithstanding. I have never been a fan of Mindy Ruff and I feel that his time has past. Boy, how I wish they could have brought in Ken Hitchcock before he was snapped up by St. Louis. And Ken is doing a marvelous job there at this time. MSG is threatening to pull its programming off the air on Time Warner cable on January 1st. That means we would not be able to watch the Sabres and at this time I feel MSG would be doing us a favor.
3) Is there any bigger pig in this world, and reason for the death penalty, than the totally disgusting Richard Dallas of Wayne County New York?? This pervert sexually abused a nine month old baby girl. Only emergency surgery saved this baby's life and she will have to endure even more surgeries thanks to this pigs actions. This ass deserves the death penalty for what he has done to this baby. I can only hope that when he is sentenced that he is put into the prison's general population because, while they may be convicts, they have a code of ethics and will give this pig what he deserves. Hopefully a one way ticket to hell. Even Satan probably would not want this ass in hell. I hope this pig rots.
4) Why are we continuing the ridiculous embargo of Cuba? For crying out loud we fought a war with Vietnam and we now have decent diplomatic relations with them. The way to derail Cuba's regime is to open up trade with them. Hell, we opened up trade with China and now they are better capitalists than we are. It is time we drop the embargo and move forward. The really tiny baby steps that Raul Castro is making now could be made larger with open diplomatic relations with the Cuban government. The thing is that Cuba has never really experienced a government by democracy. Before Fidel Castro there was General Batista who was a right wing strongman that we supported. Opening relations will improve the flow of democratic principles into that country. Cubans will see what the real world is like and will want a piece of the action. Hey, it can't hurt.
5) It is now December 19th and we have only had about two inches of snow this winter season. Last year at this time we had forty five inches. I feel for the skiers but I would not mind going through an entire winter like this. After last year's nightmare we deserve a year off and it would have been an even bigger nightmare if the main storm track hadn't shifted of us for a bit late in that winter. We still received plenty of lake snow late season but the real storms pummeled other areas. There was a storm that pummeled Chicago, just ask the Weather Channel's Jim Cantore who was there, and was headed in our direction but it petered out by the time it reached us despite a winter storm warning posted here for it. Even Alaska is not as cold as it usually is at this time of year. Could it be global warming?? It is a distinct possibility though the nation's republicans call global warming a bunch of bull shazit. It is amazing that a topic like this has become a partisan football but hey, that is our divided nation in inaction. Ugh.
Well I have had enough typing for tonight. This is your King wishing for you to have a pleasant evening.

WAIT!!! By popular demand I am bringing back an old royal mumbling from December 2010 for a replay. I hope you enjoy it as it is still relevant as we, the people, are about to get screwed royally by the House Republicans. Thank you Mr. Speaker of the House Boehner.
2) Well we got our tax bill signed despite the best efforts of the GOP to keep this stalled until their millionaire and billionaire buddies got their cuts too. This bill also had relief for the unemployed as it extended their benefits but the GOP held out. Here is an 'interview' with Senator Mitch McConnell-R, Kentucky courtesy of the Moronica AP:

"Senator, why are you holding up the bill for tax relief for the poor and middle class and assistance for the unemployed?"
"We are not supporting this bill until they include tax relief for my millionaire and billionaire supporters. Those poor souls need it too."
"But Mr. McConnell, what about the poor and unemployed who really need this relief to survive?"
"Are there no prisons? Are the workhouses out of business?"
"Sir, the prisons are full of convicted criminals and all of the workhouses are now in India and China."
"Harrumph. This interview is over."
He then stormed away from our reporter. Senator Harry Reid was heard mumbling as he walked by: "At least we now know what GOP stands for: Greed Over the Poor." (Remember, my GOP friends, that this is just a blog of moronica)

King Impressed! And Speaks up on Vladimir Putin

Well, for shazit and giggles I checked my stats for my stupid blog for the past week and I am really impressed. It seems my audience for my reports on moronic things is worldwide. It really puts a smile on my face to see this and I thank all of my readers worldwide. This past week alone I had a lot of visits to my site from my friends in China and my friends in Russia rank as number three on the list of viewers. While the numbers are still not as strong as I would like it does make me want to work harder to put out an entertaining read for my readers. Especially lately with moronic things happening everywhere in this world it is a shame that I do tend to stay rather local with my posts. (The Buffalo Bills, and lately the Sabres, provide me with so much good material it is just too hard to resist)
To honor my friends all over this planet I will try, on occasion, to make my posts a bit more worldly so today I will comment on Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin, soon to be running for president again, having his moronic stooges stuff the ballot boxes in the recent parliamentary elections in his country so his band of thugs can remain in power. Even with the stuffing the numbers were very poor for him as his party just barely kept their majority in the Russian Parliament. Now, in a real democracy the people should have a real choice of who they want to represent them but when people who have power want to stay in power you can have issues. Mr. Putin claims that Russia has a special brand of democracy. What does he mean by that? It seems in his special brand of democracy he gets to stay in power almost as long as Stalin did and all of his opponents in presidential elections either end up getting arrested or muzzled. Lately the Russian people have been protesting Mr. Putin and his party as it looks like they really want to have a choice, for a change, as to who to vote for in the next presidential election. It is pretty moronic that when you see the ballot for president you see only Vladimir Putin's name. Now that is some choice.
What is really moronic is that Mr. Putin has already had his two terms as president but, according to the Russian Constitution, he can now run again after having his buddy Medvedev keep his seat warm for him. You cannot do that in America or Bill Clinton could have ran against George Bush back in 2004, and he probably would have won. This prevents someone from gathering too much power and allows the import of fresh ideas into the government. Mr. Putin believes right now that he IS Russia but the people there seem to be rebelling a bit against that line of thinking lately. Maybe they want a real choice for a change. Maybe they want a real democracy and not Mr. Putin's idea of a democracy. One for all and all for Putin should not fly in the next Russian Presidential election. They are a good people and deserving of a good government by the people and for the people. They suffered for too long under the heavy thumb of communism and the concept of freedom that sprang up under Boris Yeltsin should continue to grow and not stagnate. The world needs a strong and democratic Russia. Mr. Putin has had his time as president and he should step aside and allow a real democracy to grow. If Russia's next president decides that he is a fine Prime Minister and should remain in that position then so be it. But it seems that after the next election Putin and Medvedev will just switch positions. That is highly moronic. Again, the good Russian people deserve a real choice and not a sham choice. They deserve a leader that gets the most real votes and not from ballot stuffing by stooges.
Well, that is my 'worldly' post for tonight seeing that I have friends around the world that partake in my Blog of Moronica. I wish all of my friends, even Vladimir Putin, a pleasant evening.

Your King Kraps on Buffalo Sports and Other Things

1) Ryan Fitzpatrick of the Buffalo Bills has become the Anti-Sampson. The longer his beard grows the worse he gets. The thing about Sampson was that his hair gave him strength. Ryan's growing face of hair must be getting so heavy that it is affecting his passing by keeping his head off balance. If I were his team mates I would bind him with tape and cut that silly beard off. It was funny last year but it has now worn out its welcome. The Bills are paying this moron almost sixty million dollars over the next six years for him to be their quarterback. Well, ever since he signed that contract he has played like crappola. It must be catching as all of the Buffalo Sabres that have signed big contracts play like crap now but I digress and will discuss that later. The Bills need to hire Delilah and soon to shave Ryan's puss before the Bills sink any further. It is all the beard's fault.
2) Speaking of the Buffalo Sabres is there any team that plays as bad as they do in their home rink? I must hate myself as I continue to torture myself by watching this team play home games on the tube. I know that I do have the option of pressing the channel buttons to go somewhere else but I have been a Sabres fan since they drafted Gilbert Perreault with their first draft pick back in 1970. It does get to the point, at times, where I do change the channel but I always end up going back to the game. Maybe I should see an analyst for this. What really drives me nuts is that they play great on the road. They really do but when they put on the home jerseys they turn into the Washington Generals of hockey. They finally have an owner in Terry Pegula with deep pockets that wants to see this team win a cup but I really feel sorry for Terry. The players he is stuck with have no heart. The visiting teams skate at First Niagara Center with a chip on their shoulders because they know that if they do they have a great chance of leaving the city with two points. The Sabres have to start playing with some heart and knock that chip off the visiting team's shoulders. Man, they had a three goal lead on Philadelphia last week at home and still lost the game. I remember watching that thinking there will be some way for these idiots to give the game back to Philly. Boy was I right as Philly scored with one second left in the first period and after I saw that I knew the Flyers would beat them. The team is a huge disappointment at this time.
3) Is there anything more annoying than some of those WalMart Christmas commercials that have been airing lately? Ring-a-ding Ring-a-ding ring me up??? OMG I think I am going to puke. Even though that cute sales girl in that particular commercial does remind me of a young Goldie Hawn I am still going to vomit. WalMart, please take the moronica out of your commercials, please, please please!!!
4) Tim Tebow has made the Denver Broncos relevant again. I actually gave some brief thought about possibly going to the game in Buffalo next weekend to see him. But, after checking the Moronican treasury, that will not happen. There is nothing there, pretty much thanks to my ex-queen, at this time and I am hoping to get my foreign aid from the U. S. government in March to help stabilize the economy of my realm but again I digress. How many comebacks does this guy have left in his pocket. I thought the Miami comeback was amazing but the comeback against the Bears was even more impressive, though the Bear's  running back Marion Barber did display ample moronica in helping the Broncs.
5) Here is another weak edition of 'If they Only Had Twitter'. This time we will look at the twitter feed of Thomas E. Dewey on that fateful day back in November 1948. (Certain parts will be censored for my younger readers)
9:12 am - Thomas Dewey - Presidential candidate - "Looking forward to this day. Polls in my favor. I feel good about today!"
5:02 pm - Dewey - "Just cast my vote, things looking really good according to the polls. I can't wait for the results to be tallied up."
10:17 pm - Dewey - "First results looking great. Looks like I will be moving into the big house!!"
2:15 am - Dewey - "OMG. The first edition of the morning paper says in big letters 'DEWEY WINS!!'. YES!!! Time to get a good sleep so I can craft my winning speech."
8:17 a.m. Dewey - "OMG. I lost, I f-----g lost. I went to bed a winner and I f-----g lost. What happened to 'DEWEY WINS!!'??? I cannot believe I f-----g lost!"
So went a 24 four hour span in the twitter life of Thomas E. Dewey, if he only had twitter.
Well that is enough crap for today. Not a bad effort in getting two posts done in one day. Now it is time to relax and let my typing fingers rest. They have earned it. This is your King wishing you a great evening!!

Your King on Genesee Beer

No, your King is not going to partake in the swizzling of it but a discussion of what the Brewery wants to do with a piece of its property. The company that owns the Genesee Brewery wants to demolish the building at 13 Cataract to build a museum with a restaurant that will have a great view of the falls. Well, the Landmark Society wants to put a kibosh on the wishes of the Brewery. Supposedly this place is some kind of a historical landmark and they do not want it demolished. Well, maybe it is but, after viewing the Channel Thirteen tour of the place, it is more of a dump than a landmark. It is a cruddily designed building that is falling apart and the Landmark Society wants to saddle the Brewery with this piece of crap. It has been said that it would take eight million dollars just to get it up to code, not even mentioning the museum or restaurant. There is a very poor view of the falls from the windows of the building and soon, if left to its own devices, it will demolish itself. It is just plain moronic that anyone would even want to preserve this piece of crap. What Genesee wants to do is to demolish this clunker and build a new building. What Genesee should do is to create a building designed with a historic look to it. It has been done before so why not now. The City Fathers talk about revitalizing the downtown area but when Genesee wants to demolish this piece of crap some dopey group of moronic people say 'oh no, you cannot do that!!! Its historic!'. What is so historic about this clunker? It was built in 1889, not 1689. There have been plenty of buildings built in 1889 that have been razed for progress. While I am for preserving history this clunker does not deserve the attention it is getting. It should be razed and Genesee should be allowed to proceed with its plans to put something nice there. Something that will draw people downtown. Isn't that what the city of Rochester wants?? I say let it be razed. So let it be written, so let it be done.

Moronica in Rhode Island

While reading today's newspaper your King was bemused by the attempt of Lincoln Chaffee's, Governor of Rhode Island, attempt to be, as they say, politically correct. He did this by calling the state's Christmas Tree the 'Holiday Tree'. Whoa Nellie did that start a chain reaction. Never in my life have I ever heard a Christmas Tree being called a Holiday tree. The lawmakers of the state, along with the state's catholics, were incensed at this. In protest carolers gathered at the State House to sing "O Christmas Tree" to spite the Governor.
It is getting to the point where people are carrying this 'holiday' crap a bit to far. The bloody thing is a Christmas Tree and nothing else. Not a Holiday Tree, not a Kwanza tree, not an End of December Tree but a Christmas tree. Calling it a Holiday Tree was a deep step into the world of Moronica no matter what the Governor's intentions were. This thing called 'political correctness' is starting to get on your King's nerves. When it is time for me to wish all of my readers a Merry Christmas that is what I am going to say. You will not see me say Happy Holidays. Since when do we ever hear Santa saying Happy Holidays???? It is always 'Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas'. Your King says ENOUGH ALREADY with this crap!!! Lincoln Chaffee is a total moron.

More Kingly Krappola

Well, I had planned on coming back and writing some more garbage after my break by I just had to watch the Detroit Lions lose to the Saints. You can't blame Matt Stafford of Detroit for the loss as he had the Lions moving well all night but there are too many immature boobs on that Lions team. Too many stupid penalties, usually after a big play, doomed the Lions. When they finally grow up look out for that team as they will be formidable.
1) I apologize to my Muslim friends but I just have to say something about what I read that occurred in Afghanistan recently. It really pissed me off as to how women are treated by fundamental islamists. It turns out that a woman had received a twelve year prison sentence because she had pre-marital sex. The only reason she had the sex was that she was raped, yes raped, but she was still convicted and sent to prison. The oh so benevolent President Karzai decided to commute her sentence but there was a caveat...she had to marry the rapist. Can you believe that??? Talk about a backwards society where a man that rapes a woman can walk away free as a bird while the woman now ends up serving what will turn out to be a lifetime sentence...time in prison and the rest of her life with the rapist. Wow, and we have soldiers over there defending that country so crap like that can continue. Amazing.
2) I continue to not shop on "Black Friday' for a variety of reasons, first of which is that I hate crowds and would prefer to maintain my sanity. But the greed shown by people out shopping that day amazes me. The most incredibly moronic display of this was were some woman pepper sprayed her way through Walmart just to get an XBox. Numerous robberies, fights and shootings marred what was a bright spot for our economy as spending was above what was expected. Still it is truly embarrassing to see what moronic ends people will go to to save a few bucks on some electronic gizmo.
3) Your King played a lot of golf this first weekend of December. I have never played in the month of December before but the weather was nice enough, though I did freeze my ass off early in my round on Saturday, to get in thirty six holes. It was great exercise as I walked the course each day. I can feel my legs and back getting stronger as with each outing I suffered less and less as the round came to an end. It is just what the doctor ordered. I just have to keep it up now that it looks like the season is finally over. Nothing really spectacular about my rounds though at the end of Sunday's round my putter and I finally got on speaking terms again. From hole thirteen on I was making some nice putts. My thirty foot bomb on fourteen was worth a birdie and definitely put a smile on my face that was sorely lacking after butchering too many holes early on. Still, bad golf beats doing nothing.
4) It was good to see Ryan Miller back in goal for the Sabres this past Saturday against Nashville. While Jhonas Enroth did a workman like job in his place he is no Miller. Ryan looked great and made a save in the third period that amazed everyone. Even the guy running the goal spotlight thought it was a sure goal for the Predators that he shined his light down moments after the save. Ryan, and the Sabres, showed that they are not going to take crap anymore. Miller got bowled over by Jordin Tootoo in the second period and in the matter of a second Miller and two other Sabres were on top of him pounding him senseless. It was good to see and we need to see more of that to show that the Sabres cannot be bullied.
Well that is enough nonsense for tonight. The dishes are ready to be washed and it is now time to relax. This is your King wishing you a pleasant evening.

Kingly Krappola

Lots of moronic stuff to write about today so let us get to it.
1) I am so sick of hearing about Kim Kardashian. This woman is one of the biggest morons there is. Why she is famous is beyond me. It must come from her dad, who helped represent O.J. Simpson and got him off scott free when all of the evidence pointed to guilt, but I digress. Kim's sham marriage to NBA player Kris Humphrey was a joke. She ranks right up there with Paris Hilton in terms of moronic females who should not ever be seen or even heard from. Humphreys is now trying to get that sham marriage to that ditz annulled. I wish him luck and hope he did not catch any diseases from that skank during his time with her.
2) We had a 'Heidi Bowl' moment today as I was watching the Minnesota vs. Denver football game. I was actually enjoying watching Tim Tebow work. He may have the funkiest throwing motion in the NFL but it is getting the job done right now. With ninety seconds left in the game, and Denver just tying the game, and with it looking like it was going to go to overtime the network switched to the Giants vs. Packers game. I was beside myself. We then had to suffer through five minutes of commercials, of which don't we see enough of during the bloody game, before the opening kickoff of the Packers game I missed whatever happened in the last ninety seconds that led Denver to get the ball back and kick the winning field goal. I remember that Oakland vs the Jets game and the dreaded Heidi show and I think a network should stay with a game until its conclusion. While the Giants-Packers game was indeed great missing the kickoff and the first few minutes would not have killed me in order to see the exciting finish of the Denver game. Just plain moronica in its finest.
3) Is there a bigger moron running for president than Michelle Bachmann?? First of all the United States has always been one to parade human rights and freedoms around the world. But I guess if you do not toe her line of thinking you don't get those rights. In Iowa the other day a high school asked this idiot why same sex couples in most states don't have the right to marry, Bachmann responded "They can get married....They can marry a man if they're a woman, or they can marry a woman if they're a man."  There are millions of our gay friends in this country and this response was an insult to them and shows that she is completely off her rocker. If we are going to be a nation that champions human rights we should be championing them for all humans, not just humans that toe Bachmann's distorted way of thinking. If we are not going to represent all humans in terms of rights then we, as a country, should keep our mouths shut and out of other country's business.
4) I, for one, applaud the cell phone and the new texting while driving law in the state of New York but it does not seem to stop people from doing it. This past weekend, going to and fro on the expressway, I saw numerous people offending this law and it scares me. For example, on Saturday one ditzy broad, yes most were female that were in violation, was driving a missile, which is what I will call her vehicle, at about seventy mph all the while with one of those contemptible hand held devices in her face reading whatever was just sent to her. How can you concentrate on the road when you are busy trying to read what your BFF just sent you?? The State Police had a crackdown on this recently and they handed out plenty of tickets but more needs to be done. These hand held devices are a menace to all drivers on the road. Too many people are hurt and even killed by accidents involving people whose driving is being distracted. They should invent a device that, when a car is in operation on a road, that prevents reception by said device until the car is pulled off the road and turned off. What is so important that you have to risk the life and limbs of others just to read your text?? Just leave the DAMN thing off until you reach your destination!!!
I have more to write about but I need a break. Until my return.

Your King is on the Mend

I have kept it pretty quiet but your King has had some nasty tendinitis in his left thumb. It became quite painful during leaf raking season and has not let up. I would rest my left hand on my lap when driving and still pain would radiate from the thumb joint. Well I had had enough so this past Tuesday I visited my Royal Hand doctor, who happens to be one of the best in the Rochester area, and she diagnosed me with a badly inflamed trigger thumb. Considering that I do not even own a gun I was baffled, trigger thumb?? I guess that is just another name for serious tendinitis. It did not take long for her to diagnose it, as she must have seen this a million times, and she then gave me a shot of cortisone right into the joint. She said this had a fifty-fifty chance of working but since my thumb was so inflamed it would probably have a better chance of working. Well, it has been two days and the pain in my thumb is about ninety percent gone. The tendon is still a tad tight but seems to be loosening up a bit more as time progresses which is increasing my range of pain free motion so it looks like I may avoid the minor surgery it would have taken to fix it manually. I guess I should be expecting more of this as I gracefully age. Oh the joys of growing old. This is your King saying, 'Stay young my friends!!'