Santa Stiffs Your King!!

Well, I woke up this morning hoping to find a few nice goodies under my tree but nooooo. From the expanse of empty space under my tree it looks like someone pretty much forgot your King. I knew that 2011 was a very bad year for the Kingdom of Moronica but this confirms it. I did get a couple of things though. Santa left me two cans of nuts. NUTS?!?! Is Santa trying to tell me something or what? He also left me the crappy sci-fi movie called 'Congo'. CONGO??? What in hell did I do to deserve that??? I am a good and benevolent king. I try to do the best for my kingdom and what do I get? Nuts and 'Congo'. I really thought Santa was my good friend. We always have a good chat when we speak to each other on the blower(phone for you non-Brits) but to get just salted nuts and 'Congo' leaves me flabbergasted. 'Congo'? Is Santa trying to tell me that I look like an ape? Well, way back in the old days when I was a semi-athlete and played soccer, my friends said I looked like a big gorilla so they stuck me in goal but that was many years ago. Nuts? I like salted nuts but I can go to the store and buy them myself. I really did not expect to get nuts on Christmas. Obviously my wish list got lost by the U.S. Postal Service when I sent it in. No wonder they are in such dire straights but I digress. I should give Santa a call and say 'what the hey?' but he only just finished his big job and should be now getting ready to leave for his month long trip to the Bahamas so I will be nice and not bother him. Knowing my luck, if I do call the big guy, he will get ticked off and not even leave me nuts next year. So, I guess, I will just suck it up and eat my nuts while watching 'Congo'.
So, even with the stiffing I got last night, I still want to wish all of my royal subjects and friends a very Merry Christmas. I hope you all got what you wanted and then some. Enjoy!!