1) Ryan Fitzpatrick of the Buffalo Bills has become the Anti-Sampson. The longer his beard grows the worse he gets. The thing about Sampson was that his hair gave him strength. Ryan's growing face of hair must be getting so heavy that it is affecting his passing by keeping his head off balance. If I were his team mates I would bind him with tape and cut that silly beard off. It was funny last year but it has now worn out its welcome. The Bills are paying this moron almost sixty million dollars over the next six years for him to be their quarterback. Well, ever since he signed that contract he has played like crappola. It must be catching as all of the Buffalo Sabres that have signed big contracts play like crap now but I digress and will discuss that later. The Bills need to hire Delilah and soon to shave Ryan's puss before the Bills sink any further. It is all the beard's fault.
2) Speaking of the Buffalo Sabres is there any team that plays as bad as they do in their home rink? I must hate myself as I continue to torture myself by watching this team play home games on the tube. I know that I do have the option of pressing the channel buttons to go somewhere else but I have been a Sabres fan since they drafted Gilbert Perreault with their first draft pick back in 1970. It does get to the point, at times, where I do change the channel but I always end up going back to the game. Maybe I should see an analyst for this. What really drives me nuts is that they play great on the road. They really do but when they put on the home jerseys they turn into the Washington Generals of hockey. They finally have an owner in Terry Pegula with deep pockets that wants to see this team win a cup but I really feel sorry for Terry. The players he is stuck with have no heart. The visiting teams skate at First Niagara Center with a chip on their shoulders because they know that if they do they have a great chance of leaving the city with two points. The Sabres have to start playing with some heart and knock that chip off the visiting team's shoulders. Man, they had a three goal lead on Philadelphia last week at home and still lost the game. I remember watching that thinking there will be some way for these idiots to give the game back to Philly. Boy was I right as Philly scored with one second left in the first period and after I saw that I knew the Flyers would beat them. The team is a huge disappointment at this time.
3) Is there anything more annoying than some of those WalMart Christmas commercials that have been airing lately? Ring-a-ding Ring-a-ding ring me up??? OMG I think I am going to puke. Even though that cute sales girl in that particular commercial does remind me of a young Goldie Hawn I am still going to vomit. WalMart, please take the moronica out of your commercials, please, please please!!!
4) Tim Tebow has made the Denver Broncos relevant again. I actually gave some brief thought about possibly going to the game in Buffalo next weekend to see him. But, after checking the Moronican treasury, that will not happen. There is nothing there, pretty much thanks to my ex-queen, at this time and I am hoping to get my foreign aid from the U. S. government in March to help stabilize the economy of my realm but again I digress. How many comebacks does this guy have left in his pocket. I thought the Miami comeback was amazing but the comeback against the Bears was even more impressive, though the Bear's running back Marion Barber did display ample moronica in helping the Broncs.
5) Here is another weak edition of 'If they Only Had Twitter'. This time we will look at the twitter feed of Thomas E. Dewey on that fateful day back in November 1948. (Certain parts will be censored for my younger readers)
9:12 am - Thomas Dewey - Presidential candidate - "Looking forward to this day. Polls in my favor. I feel good about today!"
5:02 pm - Dewey - "Just cast my vote, things looking really good according to the polls. I can't wait for the results to be tallied up."
10:17 pm - Dewey - "First results looking great. Looks like I will be moving into the big house!!"
2:15 am - Dewey - "OMG. The first edition of the morning paper says in big letters 'DEWEY WINS!!'. YES!!! Time to get a good sleep so I can craft my winning speech."
8:17 a.m. Dewey - "OMG. I lost, I f-----g lost. I went to bed a winner and I f-----g lost. What happened to 'DEWEY WINS!!'??? I cannot believe I f-----g lost!"
So went a 24 four hour span in the twitter life of Thomas E. Dewey, if he only had twitter.
Well that is enough crap for today. Not a bad effort in getting two posts done in one day. Now it is time to relax and let my typing fingers rest. They have earned it. This is your King wishing you a great evening!!
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