1) While I am against repealing the 2nd amendment I am for muzzling the idiots in charge of the NRA. Idiot NRA mouthpiece, Wayne Lapierre, says that we should have more 'good guys' with guns. Let us take a look at why that will not work. Earlier this year a poor soul, Travon Martin, was walking home armed only with some Skittles and an ice tea. Supposed armed good guy George Zimmerman stalked this young man and confronted him. It is obvious that poor Travon probably thought he was being robbed and tried to protect himself so 'good guy', George Zimmerman shot him dead. I take it that this is exactly what the NRA wants, to see....more Skittles packing people eliminated to protect the good citizens of this country. In my eyes George Zimmerman deserves the death penalty. He took a life so he should pay with his so warm up old Sparky and give this so called 'good guy' the shock of his lifetime. He had no business taking the law into his own hands, especially after the 911 operator warned him to stay away.
2) Now for something that borders on the absolute ridiculous. It seems that Norwegian mass murderer Anders Behring Breivik (ABB) is not happy with the conditions in his prison. (Why this guy is still breathing is beyond me). ABB wrote a 27 page letter to prison officials saying that there are limits to what a person can take. This man killed 77 people in twin attacks last year and was only given a 21 year sentence. This guy is an absolute nut case and will do it again if he ever sees the light of day. The sentence did indicate that it could be extended if ABB is still considered a threat. 21 years..That is about three and a half months for each life he took. Sounds fair, doesn't it? I really do not care what kind of prison conditions this guy is 'suffering' through but the only thing I can say is that they are not harsh enough.
3) My heart goes out to the families of the West Webster New York firefighters that were attacked by another nutcase named Spengler. Two were killed and two were seriously injured. These men were only trying to do their jobs and put out a fire but were attacked as they were approaching the fire. Spengler was a convicted felon and should not have been in the possession of firearms but he was. The law was in place but this type of gun control had no effect as he obtained these weapons. The ATF knows where they came from but are not saying at this time. At least Spengler took his own life.
Oh man this is one dreary blog so let me try to end on a better note;
A) If anyone happens to get 'rear ended' in San Francisco will Cellino and Barnes take the case???
B) Is there anyone more annoying than that cashier in a certain commercial that tells the woman buying the over sized doll house to have a "super sparkly day"? That phrase is so annoying that I put it in my out of office assistant message at work so I can be annoying without being annoying. If you know what I mean.
C) There is no truth to the rumor, after careful research by your King's crack team, that ex-Congressman Eric "Tickle me" Massa is trying to become the new voice of the Sesame Street character Elmo.
D) Facebook is becoming more and more annoying lately. It seems now that when you 'like' something that invitations to like the same crappola is sent to all of that person's friends. Why is this happening? I could care less if Mary Jane Rottencrotch likes Samsung Mobile. Why do I have this pop on my feed asking me to like it too? This is so moronic! And the continued harassment by certain friends to 'repost' something to show that you care. I care...I just do not care to repost, even for an hour so stop it!!!! Feel free to repost this blog if you care.
E) What is with the Weather Channels naming of winter storms now? The Kingdom of Moronica just got buried by a storm name Euclid. Euclid?!!? Are you telling me that is the best "E" name you can come up with? The "B' and "C" names were great, Brutus and Caesar, but Euclid??? Leave the naming of storms to hurricanes and just let the winter storms be the un-named pain in the asses that they should be. It sounds very lame to say that Euclid kicked my ass.
F) I think that the ruler that they use at the Rochester International Airport to measure the snow depth to give us the 'official' tally for the storm must be broken. The official amount was 10.6 inches per the weather service there. My eyes and aching back can attest that it was definitely much more than that. Also, if you happen to drive by Moronica you can see the new snow cave that I have in place of my driveway. It may be time for your King to upgrade his snow removal equipment. I have an official Lollipop Guild snow blower so maybe it is time to get the Godzilla model to replace it.
Well that is enough garbage from Moronica today. This is your King wishing you to have a super sparkly day!!
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Guns For Everyone
The NRA is at it again. Their think tank of nitwits has come up with what they believe is the perfect plan going forward. The spokesman for the NRA Nitwit Think Tank, Pierre LaWayne, outlines their plan:
"You see what we want is guns for everyone to protect themselves. We want armed guards in every school but that is not enough. Teachers and support people should also be armed. Our plan goes further in that when a child shows up for school a gun is signed out to them which is to be returned at the end of the day. Armed guards will then lead them to, and from in the morning, their buses where the driver will be armed with a semi automatic rifle and a few grenades just in case. During sporting events the coaches and referees will be packing. Fans of the home team will be issued glocks for protection during the game. The captains of each team will also be packing just in case some bad guy runs onto the court or field. This is only the beginning of our plans to protect we American good guys from evil guys."
Now this really isn't from the NRA but I am sure they would not be unhappy if something like this ever took place. What happened in Newport Connecticut was a tragedy of epic proportions but gun control laws probably would not have prevented this from happening. As they say "Outlaw guns and only outlaws will have guns". But in this case the guns were legally owned by the Nutcase's (NC) mother. I will not use NC's real name as his name should be deleted from history. NC took his mother's legal weapons, killed her and then went berserk at the Sandy Hook Elementary school. Why he went crazy we may never know but we do know he was missing a few cards for a long time.
Repealing the second amendment will never happen and would not help. I am not in favor of such an action anyways as their are many normal folks that do love their guns and know how to use and store them properly. Some things that I would advocate as a requirement to own a gun is that every gun owner must have a gun safe to keep their weapons locked up. Ammunition should be kept in another safe separate from the weapons. Each weapon should have a lock on its trigger to prevent unauthorized use and the firing pin removed and hidden until the gun is needed. I do not know how NC's mother stored her weapons but we do know she loved her guns and knew how to use them. Obviously that knowledge did not help her when her son, NC, when wacko.
What can now be done to prevent tragedies like Newport in the future we all ask but the answer is difficult to fathom. Banning guns is not the answer as the genie is out and will never be put back into the bottle. Identifying people with mental issues is tough because, unless it is blatantly obvious as is was with Jared Loughner in Arizona, most mental issues do not lead a person to go on a shooting spree. From what we have heard no one would have thought that NC would have done what he did. People knew that Loughner had violent tendencies yet he was still able to possess weapons. Why is that? A lot of sociopaths lead normal lives only to be discovered when they make a mistake. How do we identify the ones with mental issues that could lead to a future violent act? Are these people going to see a psychiatrist and tell them they want to shoot up a mall? Probably not. The sad thing is that tragedies like Sandy Hook will happen again until we can find answers to these questions.
Our kids should not have to go to prison like structures to be educated. Military forts do no good as 13 were killed at one by a nut not too long ago. And what about using ex soldiers as armed guards? A U.S. soldier went berserk in Afghanistan and killed 16 innocent people. He is going to trial soon with the death penalty on the table. Who can you trust???
In conclusion I must say that assault and automatic weapons should be banned from the public. There is absolutely no reason why an average citizen should ever own weapons like these. We are at peace with Mexico and Canada and have oceans protecting our east and west. Cuba, and Cuba is another issue I will deal with in the future, is not threat. Unless deer figure out how to use an Uzi there is no reason to go hunting with one.
Well, I am sure there will be people who disagree with your King and I really don't give a hoot if you do or not. I hate guns and will never own one but I have many friends who own guns and are very responsible with them. Why would I begrudge them their right to do so? But what can be done to prevent future Sandy Hooks? Arm everyone says the NRA.
"You see what we want is guns for everyone to protect themselves. We want armed guards in every school but that is not enough. Teachers and support people should also be armed. Our plan goes further in that when a child shows up for school a gun is signed out to them which is to be returned at the end of the day. Armed guards will then lead them to, and from in the morning, their buses where the driver will be armed with a semi automatic rifle and a few grenades just in case. During sporting events the coaches and referees will be packing. Fans of the home team will be issued glocks for protection during the game. The captains of each team will also be packing just in case some bad guy runs onto the court or field. This is only the beginning of our plans to protect we American good guys from evil guys."
Now this really isn't from the NRA but I am sure they would not be unhappy if something like this ever took place. What happened in Newport Connecticut was a tragedy of epic proportions but gun control laws probably would not have prevented this from happening. As they say "Outlaw guns and only outlaws will have guns". But in this case the guns were legally owned by the Nutcase's (NC) mother. I will not use NC's real name as his name should be deleted from history. NC took his mother's legal weapons, killed her and then went berserk at the Sandy Hook Elementary school. Why he went crazy we may never know but we do know he was missing a few cards for a long time.
Repealing the second amendment will never happen and would not help. I am not in favor of such an action anyways as their are many normal folks that do love their guns and know how to use and store them properly. Some things that I would advocate as a requirement to own a gun is that every gun owner must have a gun safe to keep their weapons locked up. Ammunition should be kept in another safe separate from the weapons. Each weapon should have a lock on its trigger to prevent unauthorized use and the firing pin removed and hidden until the gun is needed. I do not know how NC's mother stored her weapons but we do know she loved her guns and knew how to use them. Obviously that knowledge did not help her when her son, NC, when wacko.
What can now be done to prevent tragedies like Newport in the future we all ask but the answer is difficult to fathom. Banning guns is not the answer as the genie is out and will never be put back into the bottle. Identifying people with mental issues is tough because, unless it is blatantly obvious as is was with Jared Loughner in Arizona, most mental issues do not lead a person to go on a shooting spree. From what we have heard no one would have thought that NC would have done what he did. People knew that Loughner had violent tendencies yet he was still able to possess weapons. Why is that? A lot of sociopaths lead normal lives only to be discovered when they make a mistake. How do we identify the ones with mental issues that could lead to a future violent act? Are these people going to see a psychiatrist and tell them they want to shoot up a mall? Probably not. The sad thing is that tragedies like Sandy Hook will happen again until we can find answers to these questions.
Our kids should not have to go to prison like structures to be educated. Military forts do no good as 13 were killed at one by a nut not too long ago. And what about using ex soldiers as armed guards? A U.S. soldier went berserk in Afghanistan and killed 16 innocent people. He is going to trial soon with the death penalty on the table. Who can you trust???
In conclusion I must say that assault and automatic weapons should be banned from the public. There is absolutely no reason why an average citizen should ever own weapons like these. We are at peace with Mexico and Canada and have oceans protecting our east and west. Cuba, and Cuba is another issue I will deal with in the future, is not threat. Unless deer figure out how to use an Uzi there is no reason to go hunting with one.
Well, I am sure there will be people who disagree with your King and I really don't give a hoot if you do or not. I hate guns and will never own one but I have many friends who own guns and are very responsible with them. Why would I begrudge them their right to do so? But what can be done to prevent future Sandy Hooks? Arm everyone says the NRA.
Monday, December 10, 2012
Chan Gailey is a Moron
I have just about had my fill of Mr. Moron. This guy does not play to win as all he does is to play not to lose, which his team seems to do quite frequently lately. Let us see what moronic things Mr.Chan Moron and his team did in a quick recap of yesterday's game.
CJ Spiller on got eight touches in yesterday's game versus the Rams. Eight touches!!!! Mr. Moron must think we are all a bunch of dunces when he tells us the Spiller gets winded after only two plays. Spiller is a 24 year old professional athlete who should be in prime condition at this stage of the season and he gets winded after two plays?? Ridiculous!! What kills me even more is that when he gets pulled that is the last you see of him for the drive.
Rian Lindell must be wondering if Mr. Moron is ever going to let him try a field goal of over forty yards ever again. It is the fourth quarter and the Bills have the wind at their back and Mr. Moron eschews a 52 yard attempt to punt the ball. Today's kickers can kick a 52 yarder in their sleep, especially with the wind behind them but Mr. Moron will have nothing of that. Don't play to win Chan! As_h_le!!
While Ryan Fitzpatrick had a statistically decent day he generated nothing. And, of course, he had his customary pick to end the game. The Bills could have had Colin Kaepernick in last years draft but who did we pick in the second round? Nobody I can remember, can you? Wait..Was it our version of Mr. Toast?? Cornerback Aaron Williams? Fortunately this guy gets hurt enough so the Bills secondary doesn't have to suffer that much as Williams gets burnt more than a ginger person on a bright, sunny summer day. Wise draft choice Mr. Nix. Dope.
George Wilson has had the opportunities in two games to seal Bills wins. He had interceptions in his hands at the ends of both the Tennessee and St. Louis games, two in this one, yet he gagged on them. A little bit of guile on his part and the Bills would be 7-6 and if Fitzpatrick didn't have his usual pick at the end of the Patriot game the Bills would be 8-5 and heading for the playoffs. Playoffs??(Coach Jim Mora impression for a minute here)
Fred Jackson, who has seemed to have developed a bad case of fumblitis this year, is now out for the season with a knee injury and you know what that means...YES!!! Tashard Choice will now be Mr. Moron's featured running back of the Bills. Boy I cannot wait to see Choice, who in reality is not that bad of a back but nowhere near Spiller's class, run 25 times against Seattle. The game is under the dome in Toronto so maybe, just maybe Mr. Moron may let Lindell try a forty yard field goal, but then again who knows.
Poor drafting, poor game management, poor QB play, very poor play calling and unbelievably bad coaching decisions have doomed the Bills this year. Seattle put 58 on the Cardinals Sunday and are starting to generate some momentum heading into the last three games. Will they put 58 on the Bills? Probably not as the defense finally seems to be playing as advertised but their efforts are being wasted as the offense has become a joke. On offense the Bills need a QB, better wide receivers and a healthy offensive line. We needed immediate help at receiver and Mr. Moron drafts a project in DJ Graham. While Graham may have a good future we needed help now and we did not get it.
One more thing forwe Bills fans to watch for, and expect, in the future. South Carolina running back Lattimore has said that he is going to declare for the draft. What makes this interesting is that he has to go right to the top of the Bill's draft list. Why you ask? First of all he is a running back and the Bills are set in that position and second because he has a serious knee injury and may miss next season as he recovers from it. Can anyone say Willis McGahee???
Well that is my rant on the Bills for this week. It really sucks being a lifelong Bills fan. I saw an episode on House a while back where the doctors gave this patient electro shock therapy to erase part of his memory. Maybe it is time I investigate something like that to help me forget about the Bills.... and a few other things. But anyways, this is your King wishing you a pleasant evening.
CJ Spiller on got eight touches in yesterday's game versus the Rams. Eight touches!!!! Mr. Moron must think we are all a bunch of dunces when he tells us the Spiller gets winded after only two plays. Spiller is a 24 year old professional athlete who should be in prime condition at this stage of the season and he gets winded after two plays?? Ridiculous!! What kills me even more is that when he gets pulled that is the last you see of him for the drive.
Rian Lindell must be wondering if Mr. Moron is ever going to let him try a field goal of over forty yards ever again. It is the fourth quarter and the Bills have the wind at their back and Mr. Moron eschews a 52 yard attempt to punt the ball. Today's kickers can kick a 52 yarder in their sleep, especially with the wind behind them but Mr. Moron will have nothing of that. Don't play to win Chan! As_h_le!!
While Ryan Fitzpatrick had a statistically decent day he generated nothing. And, of course, he had his customary pick to end the game. The Bills could have had Colin Kaepernick in last years draft but who did we pick in the second round? Nobody I can remember, can you? Wait..Was it our version of Mr. Toast?? Cornerback Aaron Williams? Fortunately this guy gets hurt enough so the Bills secondary doesn't have to suffer that much as Williams gets burnt more than a ginger person on a bright, sunny summer day. Wise draft choice Mr. Nix. Dope.
George Wilson has had the opportunities in two games to seal Bills wins. He had interceptions in his hands at the ends of both the Tennessee and St. Louis games, two in this one, yet he gagged on them. A little bit of guile on his part and the Bills would be 7-6 and if Fitzpatrick didn't have his usual pick at the end of the Patriot game the Bills would be 8-5 and heading for the playoffs. Playoffs??(Coach Jim Mora impression for a minute here)
Fred Jackson, who has seemed to have developed a bad case of fumblitis this year, is now out for the season with a knee injury and you know what that means...YES!!! Tashard Choice will now be Mr. Moron's featured running back of the Bills. Boy I cannot wait to see Choice, who in reality is not that bad of a back but nowhere near Spiller's class, run 25 times against Seattle. The game is under the dome in Toronto so maybe, just maybe Mr. Moron may let Lindell try a forty yard field goal, but then again who knows.
Poor drafting, poor game management, poor QB play, very poor play calling and unbelievably bad coaching decisions have doomed the Bills this year. Seattle put 58 on the Cardinals Sunday and are starting to generate some momentum heading into the last three games. Will they put 58 on the Bills? Probably not as the defense finally seems to be playing as advertised but their efforts are being wasted as the offense has become a joke. On offense the Bills need a QB, better wide receivers and a healthy offensive line. We needed immediate help at receiver and Mr. Moron drafts a project in DJ Graham. While Graham may have a good future we needed help now and we did not get it.
One more thing forwe Bills fans to watch for, and expect, in the future. South Carolina running back Lattimore has said that he is going to declare for the draft. What makes this interesting is that he has to go right to the top of the Bill's draft list. Why you ask? First of all he is a running back and the Bills are set in that position and second because he has a serious knee injury and may miss next season as he recovers from it. Can anyone say Willis McGahee???
Well that is my rant on the Bills for this week. It really sucks being a lifelong Bills fan. I saw an episode on House a while back where the doctors gave this patient electro shock therapy to erase part of his memory. Maybe it is time I investigate something like that to help me forget about the Bills.... and a few other things. But anyways, this is your King wishing you a pleasant evening.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
A Rose By Any Other Name
When is a tax not a tax? When it is called a chargeback fee by our County executive. Maggie Brooks, who is obviously not having a very good month of November, is proving that the people in our Congressional District made the correct choice in sending, dementia ridden, Louise Slaughter back to represent us. First it was appointing a crony to a do nothing, pay a lot position in the Water Authority that was vacant for years. Today she takes the very concept of spinning(lying) to a new level. We have to remember that she has claimed that Monroe County tax rate has remained the same, at $8.99 per $1,000 of assessed value, which in the broadest sense of the claim may be correct, in her eyes. A budget hearing was held two weeks ago and Maggie said, to reporters after that hearing, "I don't believe there are any new chargebacks". But, in what may be the biggest snow job that this county has seen in a long time, it was revealed today that we Monroe County taxpayers are going to be hit with a new chargeback fee for snow removal.
We taxpayers have always had this included in what we pay in taxes to the County Government until this year but it took some digging by democratic legislators to uncover this new 'fee'. Your King is getting sick and tired of these new taxes that are being disguised as 'fees'. As the saying sort of goes 'A tax by any other name dost smell so sweet' and this is a new tax, no doubt about it. I do not give a rat's ass what Maggie and her cronies call it as it is more money being shelled out by we taxpayers to pay for things that we have previously paid through the regular tax levy.
Why doesn't she just come out and tell the truth that she has to raise taxes to pay for the services that we require to be provided? Waving her magic wand and changing this tax into a fee is in reality a bald faced lie. I understand that sometimes revenues have to be raised to pay for services but to try to hide it and then call it a fee is a load of shazit. While the process of adding chargebacks is permissible under state law this county is starting to take these additional fees to the limit in order for Maggie to keep her 'flat rate' property tax claim real...in her eyes.
This county is one of the highest taxed counties in the entire country and it continues to get worse despite what Maggie says. My escrow payments, which are included in my mortgage, have gone up again so it means less money in my pocket after I make that payment. These chargebacks will only make it go up even further the next time my bank recalculates my payments. Boy, I cannot wait for that. I have cut down my extraneous activities to save money to pay the bills as the only real outlet that I allow myself to have is golf. I would love to go to area sporting events but I really have to think twice before spending the money as I have to save it for Maggie and her chargebacks.
I have finished my rant. This is your one pissed off King saying good night.
We taxpayers have always had this included in what we pay in taxes to the County Government until this year but it took some digging by democratic legislators to uncover this new 'fee'. Your King is getting sick and tired of these new taxes that are being disguised as 'fees'. As the saying sort of goes 'A tax by any other name dost smell so sweet' and this is a new tax, no doubt about it. I do not give a rat's ass what Maggie and her cronies call it as it is more money being shelled out by we taxpayers to pay for things that we have previously paid through the regular tax levy.
Why doesn't she just come out and tell the truth that she has to raise taxes to pay for the services that we require to be provided? Waving her magic wand and changing this tax into a fee is in reality a bald faced lie. I understand that sometimes revenues have to be raised to pay for services but to try to hide it and then call it a fee is a load of shazit. While the process of adding chargebacks is permissible under state law this county is starting to take these additional fees to the limit in order for Maggie to keep her 'flat rate' property tax claim real...in her eyes.
This county is one of the highest taxed counties in the entire country and it continues to get worse despite what Maggie says. My escrow payments, which are included in my mortgage, have gone up again so it means less money in my pocket after I make that payment. These chargebacks will only make it go up even further the next time my bank recalculates my payments. Boy, I cannot wait for that. I have cut down my extraneous activities to save money to pay the bills as the only real outlet that I allow myself to have is golf. I would love to go to area sporting events but I really have to think twice before spending the money as I have to save it for Maggie and her chargebacks.
I have finished my rant. This is your one pissed off King saying good night.
Friday, November 23, 2012
Happy Thanksgiving From Moronica!!!
Happy Thanksgiving from Moronica!!!
1) Your King has been enjoying bonus golf this season and is taking full advantage of it. Just today I shot an 84 that could have easily been a 77 with a bit of luck or talent. I had a 38 on the front nine and except for three totally atrocious holes, 10,12 & 13, I would have easily broken 80. And this is all with a 20 mph wind blowing during the round. The past three weeks I have shot 84, 86, 87, 90 & three 89s. The difference has been that my putter and I have become fast friends for the most part. Even my wedge has had more occasional moments of brilliance lately. Why can't I do this during the summer when it would really count for something. Also today we only had a fivesome and I, needing to reach a score of 21 points, ended up with 28, a plus seven, winning 40 clams. My score now that I have to reach is 24 points...I don't think I will be winning again in the near future...hopefully near future if we can keep winter at bay for a few more weeks so we can get more bonus golf in.
2) Here I sit broken hearted, as I am typing my next door neighbor, Ringo Starr, has decided to start banging away on his drums again. At least the idiot is starting his practice session now instead of at 10:15 p.m. like he did a few nights ago. Your King went next door and put a kibosh on that nonsense. More moronica, plain and simple. What I would give for Ringo to get some terminal wrist tendinitis.
3) Mr. Moron, coach of the Buffalo Bills, continues to amaze me. He continually takes out his best player, C.J. Spiller, in the middle of good drives, to 'rest', only to see those drives come to a screeching halt after he does this. One drive had Spiller get two consecutive great runs only to be pulled and then three plays later the drive ended. Does this guy really get that tired after two plays? I have seen some workhorse running backs stay in play after play and remain effective but Spiller?? He gets 'pooped' after two plays. I put this on the coaches for not conditioning the player properly. I get a kick out of some of the drills that they show them running during the sports segment of the local news. There is one drill where they pretty much dance around some cones with some coach giving them love taps with a Styrofoam stick as they go by. Now that may come in handy if the Colts defense decides to sign some Styrofoam players for this Sunday's game but really...What does that drill do?? At least we get Freddy back for this game so when Spiller gets tired after a play or two we have a more than competent player to take his place.
4) It is so hard to believe that the next holiday to come is Christmas. Where has this year gone??? I haven't even had a chance to call my good friend Santa this year to see how he is doing. I certainly can't call him now with him being so busy. At least he was smart enough to get out of that deal with Pepsi that I reported about in August 2011. I may have to check on that though as he may have been dumped by Pepsi after being caught swizzling a coke when he vacationed that year with some cuties.
5) Is there anyone homelier than Vicky Guerrero of the WWE?
6) Isn't watching TV a pleasure again with no silly political ads to ruin it?
7) How many people wish that the Geico gecko would get eaten by some predator?
8) How many people out there wish I would right about something interesting for a change?
Oh well, maybe my next post, we can only hope, will be more entertaining so I will quit for tonight and give my next post some serious thought. Good night.
1) Your King has been enjoying bonus golf this season and is taking full advantage of it. Just today I shot an 84 that could have easily been a 77 with a bit of luck or talent. I had a 38 on the front nine and except for three totally atrocious holes, 10,12 & 13, I would have easily broken 80. And this is all with a 20 mph wind blowing during the round. The past three weeks I have shot 84, 86, 87, 90 & three 89s. The difference has been that my putter and I have become fast friends for the most part. Even my wedge has had more occasional moments of brilliance lately. Why can't I do this during the summer when it would really count for something. Also today we only had a fivesome and I, needing to reach a score of 21 points, ended up with 28, a plus seven, winning 40 clams. My score now that I have to reach is 24 points...I don't think I will be winning again in the near future...hopefully near future if we can keep winter at bay for a few more weeks so we can get more bonus golf in.
2) Here I sit broken hearted, as I am typing my next door neighbor, Ringo Starr, has decided to start banging away on his drums again. At least the idiot is starting his practice session now instead of at 10:15 p.m. like he did a few nights ago. Your King went next door and put a kibosh on that nonsense. More moronica, plain and simple. What I would give for Ringo to get some terminal wrist tendinitis.
3) Mr. Moron, coach of the Buffalo Bills, continues to amaze me. He continually takes out his best player, C.J. Spiller, in the middle of good drives, to 'rest', only to see those drives come to a screeching halt after he does this. One drive had Spiller get two consecutive great runs only to be pulled and then three plays later the drive ended. Does this guy really get that tired after two plays? I have seen some workhorse running backs stay in play after play and remain effective but Spiller?? He gets 'pooped' after two plays. I put this on the coaches for not conditioning the player properly. I get a kick out of some of the drills that they show them running during the sports segment of the local news. There is one drill where they pretty much dance around some cones with some coach giving them love taps with a Styrofoam stick as they go by. Now that may come in handy if the Colts defense decides to sign some Styrofoam players for this Sunday's game but really...What does that drill do?? At least we get Freddy back for this game so when Spiller gets tired after a play or two we have a more than competent player to take his place.
4) It is so hard to believe that the next holiday to come is Christmas. Where has this year gone??? I haven't even had a chance to call my good friend Santa this year to see how he is doing. I certainly can't call him now with him being so busy. At least he was smart enough to get out of that deal with Pepsi that I reported about in August 2011. I may have to check on that though as he may have been dumped by Pepsi after being caught swizzling a coke when he vacationed that year with some cuties.
5) Is there anyone homelier than Vicky Guerrero of the WWE?
6) Isn't watching TV a pleasure again with no silly political ads to ruin it?
7) How many people wish that the Geico gecko would get eaten by some predator?
8) How many people out there wish I would right about something interesting for a change?
Oh well, maybe my next post, we can only hope, will be more entertaining so I will quit for tonight and give my next post some serious thought. Good night.
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
News Briefs from Moronica
1) Well the moron that brutally attacked the 70 year old Walmart cashier last year got her just desserts today with a sentence of five years in prison. That unremorseful ass deserved more. Her lawyer plans on appealing the conviction and that may make him a bigger moron than she is. We see her on tape attacking the cashier so what is the attorney going to appeal? That the tape was lying? She was caught in the act so there should be no appeal. I hope the witch serves every minute of her term.
2) Sometimes it is good to be the King, in this case the General(s). Our newest moron, General Petraeus director of the CIA, had to know that having outside nookie is a major security violation per the CIA bylaws but still he proved that he is an idiot by ignoring it. And now it seems one of his buddy generals is also dipping his wick where it does not belong. This is getting to be one hell of a story and now I cannot wait until the movie comes out. Maybe a good working title would be "Morons in the Mist" or maybe "Debbie does Spies". More news on this story of these sex starved morons as it develops in your friendly neighborhood Blog of Moronica.
3) New on the Channel 13 news tonight was the latest list of 'most dangerous toys' On that list, OMG, is the rubber duckie as it has some kind of bad chemical in it. How can the one and only rubber duckie be dangerous??? Oh, that's right, it was made in China. Those rascally Chinese are doing what they can to take over the world and sending us killer rubber duckies has to be a new low, even for them.
4) The crows are back in Rochester, NY. Last year the city spent $20,000 to scare them away but the 'I Love Rochester' program has worked so well that the crows have returned. The city parks are pretty much piles of crow sh*t right now. The park's benches have been successfully used for target practice by these black, feathered menaces. Maybe it is time to allow the 'Occupy Rochester' goofballs back into the park and then let the crows stay around instead of spending good money to scare them away. Good times can be had by all, especially the crows and the people who watch the occupiers duck and covering when the crow bombing starts.
5) Fred Jackson, of the Buffalo Bills, is out for Thursday's game after having his head smushed by a Patriot at the end of the game on Sunday. Will this mean more touches for CJ Spiller?? Probably not knowing Mr. Moron, Chan Gailey. I am betting that Tashard Choice ends up getting more touches than Spiller because Spiller is so dangerous with the ball. So dangerous, in fact, that the Bill's head coach fears that the Miami defensive players may get hurt, or their egos seriously bruised, trying to catch him and, since Mr. Moron is so nice, he does not want to see that happen. Back to Fred, the poor guy keeps trying to turn off the alarm clock, but the only thing ringing is the poor guy's head.
That is the Moronican news for Wednesday November 14th. More bulletins as events, or my inspiration, warrant. Good night my fellow Moronicans.
2) Sometimes it is good to be the King, in this case the General(s). Our newest moron, General Petraeus director of the CIA, had to know that having outside nookie is a major security violation per the CIA bylaws but still he proved that he is an idiot by ignoring it. And now it seems one of his buddy generals is also dipping his wick where it does not belong. This is getting to be one hell of a story and now I cannot wait until the movie comes out. Maybe a good working title would be "Morons in the Mist" or maybe "Debbie does Spies". More news on this story of these sex starved morons as it develops in your friendly neighborhood Blog of Moronica.
3) New on the Channel 13 news tonight was the latest list of 'most dangerous toys' On that list, OMG, is the rubber duckie as it has some kind of bad chemical in it. How can the one and only rubber duckie be dangerous??? Oh, that's right, it was made in China. Those rascally Chinese are doing what they can to take over the world and sending us killer rubber duckies has to be a new low, even for them.
4) The crows are back in Rochester, NY. Last year the city spent $20,000 to scare them away but the 'I Love Rochester' program has worked so well that the crows have returned. The city parks are pretty much piles of crow sh*t right now. The park's benches have been successfully used for target practice by these black, feathered menaces. Maybe it is time to allow the 'Occupy Rochester' goofballs back into the park and then let the crows stay around instead of spending good money to scare them away. Good times can be had by all, especially the crows and the people who watch the occupiers duck and covering when the crow bombing starts.
5) Fred Jackson, of the Buffalo Bills, is out for Thursday's game after having his head smushed by a Patriot at the end of the game on Sunday. Will this mean more touches for CJ Spiller?? Probably not knowing Mr. Moron, Chan Gailey. I am betting that Tashard Choice ends up getting more touches than Spiller because Spiller is so dangerous with the ball. So dangerous, in fact, that the Bill's head coach fears that the Miami defensive players may get hurt, or their egos seriously bruised, trying to catch him and, since Mr. Moron is so nice, he does not want to see that happen. Back to Fred, the poor guy keeps trying to turn off the alarm clock, but the only thing ringing is the poor guy's head.
That is the Moronican news for Wednesday November 14th. More bulletins as events, or my inspiration, warrant. Good night my fellow Moronicans.
Monday, November 12, 2012
Free Beer!!! or "Maybe This Title Will Get Me More Readers Through Googling"
1) Your King has a rather crappy day at work today, most of it due to Superstorm Sandy, so I really looked forward to getting home today. So what did your King get when he got home? I will tell you. My neighbor's kid thinks he is the reincarnation of Ringo Starr, I know he is not dead but if he listened to this guy it would kill him, and he has been banging away at his drums since I got home to just about now when he finally stopped. Jeez, one Saturday I had a 'great' four hour concert provided by this Beatle wannabe from 5:30 to 9:30. This has been going on for the past three months or so making me a little extra ornery after every concert and my orneriness has been building. Now I know I am not the world's most pleasant fellow to deal with but with the luck I have been having over the last ten or so years I may as well get a job as a bomb dis-armer. At least that way if I make a mistake I don't continually keep paying for it over the years. Maybe some day my luck will change...but probably not. So I guess I am destined to stay ornery.
2) Ryan Fitzpatrick does it again!!! Nobody is better at snatching defeat from the jaws of victory than old Ryan. The intended receiver tried to cover for his buddy but there is no question that Ryan Fitzpatrick sucks when the game is on the line. Why in hell is the idiot throwing to a rookie on such a key play??? Why isn't Spiller getting the ball?? Stevie Johnson?? Or Tight End Chandler who always seems to get open in the end zone?? Only 13 touches over the entire game for the Bill's most dynamic player, C. J. Spiller. Incredible. Looks like the Bills may have hit a home run with that pick but it won't be confirmed until they put away the wiffle bat and use him properly. He should get a few more touches Thursday as poor Fred Jackson has been answering the phone all day, well maybe not really but his head has been ringing since the whap he took at the end of yesterday's game.
3) There are two great commercials that are on the air right now. The first involves a poor white sap that has the name Michael Jordan. Everywhere he goes and whatever gets delivered to him people are so disappointed in this Mr. Jordan. Funny! Also the commercial where the tattooed free spinning and kicking MMA maniac gets to fight the rather staid opponent. He refuses to tap gloves at the beginning and then goes into his spinning and kicking self. The opponent blocks the kick and holds the guys leg while he delivers a knockout punch. Very funny.
4) Golfed Sunday. Pretty much the same scores as Saturday shooting a 90 with the same plus one D'Aprile ranking but unlike Saturday, which was pretty much a model of consistency, Sunday was an Oreo cookie with the first four and last four holes the crappy wafer cookie but the cream filling was delicious. I was psyched to par the dreaded 12th hole. That always puts a smile on my face.
5) If the Mayans really did predict the end of the world on December 21, 2012, and were as smart as the historians think they were, why didn't they say it was going to end on January 20, 2013 when Obama takes his second oath of office?? From the rhetoric of a certain group of people you would think that the Mayans were right but off by thirty days.We have had good presidents and we have had crappy presidents but the country keeps rolling along.
6) The National Weather Service has now decided to name winter storms. In the last week or so we have had Athena and Brutus hit the country. Athena buried the already mashed up east coast while Brutus blasted the upper Rockies and northern plains with very much needed snow in that drought stricken area. What will be next for the National Weather Service to name? Maybe they should name mostly sunny days here in the Rochester area as they would only need to use about four or five names a year.
Time to get ready to watch some feetball and some stupid pro wrasslin. What I should do is go to bed early and get a good night's sleep to get me raring to catch up on what I couldn't do today at work. When you work almost two extra hours, on a Monday no less, and feel like you have accomplished nothing that hurts my ego. That said it is time to shut down for the evening. Moronica Uber Alles!!!!!
2) Ryan Fitzpatrick does it again!!! Nobody is better at snatching defeat from the jaws of victory than old Ryan. The intended receiver tried to cover for his buddy but there is no question that Ryan Fitzpatrick sucks when the game is on the line. Why in hell is the idiot throwing to a rookie on such a key play??? Why isn't Spiller getting the ball?? Stevie Johnson?? Or Tight End Chandler who always seems to get open in the end zone?? Only 13 touches over the entire game for the Bill's most dynamic player, C. J. Spiller. Incredible. Looks like the Bills may have hit a home run with that pick but it won't be confirmed until they put away the wiffle bat and use him properly. He should get a few more touches Thursday as poor Fred Jackson has been answering the phone all day, well maybe not really but his head has been ringing since the whap he took at the end of yesterday's game.
3) There are two great commercials that are on the air right now. The first involves a poor white sap that has the name Michael Jordan. Everywhere he goes and whatever gets delivered to him people are so disappointed in this Mr. Jordan. Funny! Also the commercial where the tattooed free spinning and kicking MMA maniac gets to fight the rather staid opponent. He refuses to tap gloves at the beginning and then goes into his spinning and kicking self. The opponent blocks the kick and holds the guys leg while he delivers a knockout punch. Very funny.
4) Golfed Sunday. Pretty much the same scores as Saturday shooting a 90 with the same plus one D'Aprile ranking but unlike Saturday, which was pretty much a model of consistency, Sunday was an Oreo cookie with the first four and last four holes the crappy wafer cookie but the cream filling was delicious. I was psyched to par the dreaded 12th hole. That always puts a smile on my face.
5) If the Mayans really did predict the end of the world on December 21, 2012, and were as smart as the historians think they were, why didn't they say it was going to end on January 20, 2013 when Obama takes his second oath of office?? From the rhetoric of a certain group of people you would think that the Mayans were right but off by thirty days.We have had good presidents and we have had crappy presidents but the country keeps rolling along.
6) The National Weather Service has now decided to name winter storms. In the last week or so we have had Athena and Brutus hit the country. Athena buried the already mashed up east coast while Brutus blasted the upper Rockies and northern plains with very much needed snow in that drought stricken area. What will be next for the National Weather Service to name? Maybe they should name mostly sunny days here in the Rochester area as they would only need to use about four or five names a year.
Time to get ready to watch some feetball and some stupid pro wrasslin. What I should do is go to bed early and get a good night's sleep to get me raring to catch up on what I couldn't do today at work. When you work almost two extra hours, on a Monday no less, and feel like you have accomplished nothing that hurts my ego. That said it is time to shut down for the evening. Moronica Uber Alles!!!!!
Saturday, November 10, 2012
King Returns to the Links
Prepare to be bored my fans but I need to write about stuff to keep my fingers loose and trigger the creative juices for more interesting items:
After a four week break, thanks to my aching back and crappy weather, your King has finally returned to the golf course. One thing my aching back is doing is making me re-invent my game a bit and it seems to be working for now. When I first hurt my back five weeks ago it got quite a better so I played the following weekend but it started hurting after a few holes. Hmm, maybe the hour and a half delay, sitting and waiting for the frost to melt playing cards, had something to do with it. By the seventh hole I tried a new strategy after playing like shazit and that was to control my swing and not be the free swinger that I love being. After rejecting going home at the turn, sobbing after looking at a score well into the fifties, I marched on. Even with my painful back I had a pretty good back nine, thanks to a very, very cooperative putter. I hit the ball shorter but I hit it straight and shot a 45. Maybe I was on to something.
Today I focused on playing within myself and not trying to hit the shazit out of the ball. For the most part it worked, even with the few clunker shots that was expected after my long layoff. My drives were usually in the fairway and my short game was much better than normal. I shot an 89 and it could have been much, much better. I did not three putt a single green but I could not get putts to drop for me with the exception of my 15 foot birdie putt on 14. While I did not give myself too many birdie opportunities today I did give myself plenty of makeable par putts. Too bad I couldn't coax a few more to drop for me but tap ins are nice...especially on the nerves. Time will tell if I stick with my new style when my back is completely pain free and loose or will I revert to the 'kill the ball' King that gets oohs from the crowd when I hit it straight...which isn't often enough. I am looking forward to playing again on Sunday, back willing, in what may well be the nicest day of the month. It does not hit 70 too often in this dreary month of November so when you have the chance, enjoy it!! Get out and play you duffers!!!
More on golf. I do not know if I reported this but your King did shoot a 77 earlier in the year. I have that card sitting on my dresser in my bedroom so I can continue to try to convince myself that I can still play this game well.
I know my friends..ENOUGH of this golf crap already!!! So I will end this nonsense now. Have a happy!
After a four week break, thanks to my aching back and crappy weather, your King has finally returned to the golf course. One thing my aching back is doing is making me re-invent my game a bit and it seems to be working for now. When I first hurt my back five weeks ago it got quite a better so I played the following weekend but it started hurting after a few holes. Hmm, maybe the hour and a half delay, sitting and waiting for the frost to melt playing cards, had something to do with it. By the seventh hole I tried a new strategy after playing like shazit and that was to control my swing and not be the free swinger that I love being. After rejecting going home at the turn, sobbing after looking at a score well into the fifties, I marched on. Even with my painful back I had a pretty good back nine, thanks to a very, very cooperative putter. I hit the ball shorter but I hit it straight and shot a 45. Maybe I was on to something.
Today I focused on playing within myself and not trying to hit the shazit out of the ball. For the most part it worked, even with the few clunker shots that was expected after my long layoff. My drives were usually in the fairway and my short game was much better than normal. I shot an 89 and it could have been much, much better. I did not three putt a single green but I could not get putts to drop for me with the exception of my 15 foot birdie putt on 14. While I did not give myself too many birdie opportunities today I did give myself plenty of makeable par putts. Too bad I couldn't coax a few more to drop for me but tap ins are nice...especially on the nerves. Time will tell if I stick with my new style when my back is completely pain free and loose or will I revert to the 'kill the ball' King that gets oohs from the crowd when I hit it straight...which isn't often enough. I am looking forward to playing again on Sunday, back willing, in what may well be the nicest day of the month. It does not hit 70 too often in this dreary month of November so when you have the chance, enjoy it!! Get out and play you duffers!!!
More on golf. I do not know if I reported this but your King did shoot a 77 earlier in the year. I have that card sitting on my dresser in my bedroom so I can continue to try to convince myself that I can still play this game well.
I know my friends..ENOUGH of this golf crap already!!! So I will end this nonsense now. Have a happy!
Friday, November 9, 2012
The Election is Over. Thank Goodness!!!!!
Well, President Obama gets four more years as our leader. I guess it was only fair since we gave Bush four extra years. I was actually quite surprised at the outcome of this election as I half expected Mitt Romney to win. As I sat and watched the returns come in the swing states that the GOP hoped would fall into their lap went blue. I was picturing our favorite blowhard, Rush Limbaugh, crying in his oatmeal as Obama was gathering electoral votes like I gather chocolate around the office where I work. Let us hope the President and the GOP can find a way to work together to move the USA forward instead of their constant bickering leading us nowhere.
The Tea Party, once again, cost the GOP senate seats that it hoped to gain in order to promote their agenda to curing our ills. A good chunk of Americans think the Tea Partiers are an overzealous, way too far to the right, group of folks. Pandering to this small sect is killing the GOP as they constantly get pulled farther to the right by them. Only time will tell what kind of party the GOP will morph into.
Around here Maggie Brooks does it again. I was listening to the Lonsberry show today on the radio when he reported about Maggie's nonsense, and yes I do listen to Bob and I enjoy his show even though I do not agree with him often. But when, Ultra conservative WHAM radio talk show host, Bob Lonsberry said he called Louise Slaughter's office and apologized to her saying that she was right, in her TV political ads, about corruption in Monroe County Government you have to take a step back. Even though Maggie denies it, blatant cronyism strikes again with the Monroe County Water Authority as Maggie appointed another pure blooded republican to the post of Assistant Director of the Authority. Now this post had gone unfilled for the past 6 years and the Authority was doing fine without it but, only two days after the election where Maggie got her ass kicked, this post was amazingly filled by Bill Carpenter. Bill was the town supervisor of either Pittsford or Penfield, and even though he may be well qualified to hold this position, this appointment reeks of cronyism. First of all she could have done we taxpayers right by eliminating the position and using the funds elsewhere but no, she did us wrong but does she really care? She cannot run again for Monroe County Executive due to term limits so she can do what she wants without fear of facing the music again..Unless she wants to run for Congress again and this crass appointment will doom her unless she can come up with a better explanation than the lame one she provided today.
I really hate writing about politics but at least this election seems to have gotten your King's juices flowing again to add to this site on a more regular basis. Hopefully with more interesting stuff than this tripe I have written about today. I have to get my dry sense of humor along with my sarcastic cynicism back up to snuff again.
Ok, let us ask a question that needs an honest answer: If you get 'rear-ended' in San Francisco will Celino and Barnes be there to 'help' you?
Now, after that lame attempt at humor I will end this crap for the night. Maybe I will write next about the moron cop that wrote a ticket to the parent of a 3 year old when the kid decided to take a leak outside. That ticket may cost the parent $2,500 if wiser heads do not prevail. Only in America.. Good night folks.
The Tea Party, once again, cost the GOP senate seats that it hoped to gain in order to promote their agenda to curing our ills. A good chunk of Americans think the Tea Partiers are an overzealous, way too far to the right, group of folks. Pandering to this small sect is killing the GOP as they constantly get pulled farther to the right by them. Only time will tell what kind of party the GOP will morph into.
Around here Maggie Brooks does it again. I was listening to the Lonsberry show today on the radio when he reported about Maggie's nonsense, and yes I do listen to Bob and I enjoy his show even though I do not agree with him often. But when, Ultra conservative WHAM radio talk show host, Bob Lonsberry said he called Louise Slaughter's office and apologized to her saying that she was right, in her TV political ads, about corruption in Monroe County Government you have to take a step back. Even though Maggie denies it, blatant cronyism strikes again with the Monroe County Water Authority as Maggie appointed another pure blooded republican to the post of Assistant Director of the Authority. Now this post had gone unfilled for the past 6 years and the Authority was doing fine without it but, only two days after the election where Maggie got her ass kicked, this post was amazingly filled by Bill Carpenter. Bill was the town supervisor of either Pittsford or Penfield, and even though he may be well qualified to hold this position, this appointment reeks of cronyism. First of all she could have done we taxpayers right by eliminating the position and using the funds elsewhere but no, she did us wrong but does she really care? She cannot run again for Monroe County Executive due to term limits so she can do what she wants without fear of facing the music again..Unless she wants to run for Congress again and this crass appointment will doom her unless she can come up with a better explanation than the lame one she provided today.
I really hate writing about politics but at least this election seems to have gotten your King's juices flowing again to add to this site on a more regular basis. Hopefully with more interesting stuff than this tripe I have written about today. I have to get my dry sense of humor along with my sarcastic cynicism back up to snuff again.
Ok, let us ask a question that needs an honest answer: If you get 'rear-ended' in San Francisco will Celino and Barnes be there to 'help' you?
Now, after that lame attempt at humor I will end this crap for the night. Maybe I will write next about the moron cop that wrote a ticket to the parent of a 3 year old when the kid decided to take a leak outside. That ticket may cost the parent $2,500 if wiser heads do not prevail. Only in America.. Good night folks.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Election Foolishness and Other Crappola from your King
1) I have heard the funniest political ad during the past couple of days on the radio. It is for Sean Hanna who is running for a State Senate seat. The ad states that we should vote for a 'Pro Jobs' candidate, who of course is Sean Hanna. Are not all of the candidates 'Pro Jobs'? I do not think I have ever heard a candidate come out and say that he or she is 'anti-jobs'. If so I would definitely vote for that candidate to better my job security. Seriously though, I wish these ad creators would get a grip on reality.
2) Speaking of Sean Hanna, his opponent, Ted O'Brien, has me scratching my head. First of all your King is in Senator Robach's district yet I have received two robo calls extorting me to get out and vote for Ted. If Ted's camp is calling people in the wrong senate district to get out and vote for him he is going to be in serious trouble. Being that it is so moronic it is apropos that they are calling your King of Moronica. Dopes.
3) Your King did cast his vote today. Most all of the choices were easy and at least, for the first time, I had someone else to vote for besides David Gantt in my assembly district so I voted for the Libertarian candidate. For the first time ever your King struggled to cast his vote for president. After all of the other bubbles were filled in I stood there for a while before finally deciding to vote for the individual who best represented my values. Not that my one vote makes a difference but if I have a tough choice to make, when I usually have my mind made up after the primaries are held, I have a feeling who will end up on top.
4) I have a FB site, whose opinion I actually value quite highly, who posted that he voted today and the election for president is now in God's hands. Now, if God had anything to do with this election he certainly would have given us two better choices than the Tweedles, Dee and Dum. Also, I do not believe that God is registered to vote in any district so, really, it can't be in his hands. But then again I may be wrong. Whoever wins had better not screw the middle class.
5) All I am going to say is how sweet it is going to be when I do not have to have my finger on the mute button anymore. I almost burnt it out muting all of the negative political ads that proliferated on the cablewaves. I will have to give my Kudo award to Kirsten Gillibrand as she did not put out one negative ad.....that I saw. But then again, when you are ahead by 45 percentage points, you can play it clean.
6) It is time, my friends, for us go over what we have learned during this election season from studying all of our favorite TV political ads, besides the fact that all of the candidates are liars.
a) Maggie is corrupt.
b) Louise is an old fart in late stage Alzheimer's.
c) Ted O'Brien is guilty.
d) Sean Hanna hates women's rights.
e) Kathy Hochul ships jobs to China.
f) Chris Collins fires workers and ships more jobs to China.
g) Obama is a socialist Kenyan.
h) Romney is an elitist who hates 47% of us.
Well, If I have neglected any area candidate I am sorry and I will get you the next time.
Also, being a King I am waiting for Donald Trump to offer me five million dollars to release my transcripts. They may not be pretty, well at least the first two years aren't, but for five mill I will release them along with a naked picture of myself. Heck, maybe Donald will give me a million NOT to release a naked picture of myself.
OK, we are getting silly now so I had better take a break. Have a great evening my friends!!
2) Speaking of Sean Hanna, his opponent, Ted O'Brien, has me scratching my head. First of all your King is in Senator Robach's district yet I have received two robo calls extorting me to get out and vote for Ted. If Ted's camp is calling people in the wrong senate district to get out and vote for him he is going to be in serious trouble. Being that it is so moronic it is apropos that they are calling your King of Moronica. Dopes.
3) Your King did cast his vote today. Most all of the choices were easy and at least, for the first time, I had someone else to vote for besides David Gantt in my assembly district so I voted for the Libertarian candidate. For the first time ever your King struggled to cast his vote for president. After all of the other bubbles were filled in I stood there for a while before finally deciding to vote for the individual who best represented my values. Not that my one vote makes a difference but if I have a tough choice to make, when I usually have my mind made up after the primaries are held, I have a feeling who will end up on top.
4) I have a FB site, whose opinion I actually value quite highly, who posted that he voted today and the election for president is now in God's hands. Now, if God had anything to do with this election he certainly would have given us two better choices than the Tweedles, Dee and Dum. Also, I do not believe that God is registered to vote in any district so, really, it can't be in his hands. But then again I may be wrong. Whoever wins had better not screw the middle class.
5) All I am going to say is how sweet it is going to be when I do not have to have my finger on the mute button anymore. I almost burnt it out muting all of the negative political ads that proliferated on the cablewaves. I will have to give my Kudo award to Kirsten Gillibrand as she did not put out one negative ad.....that I saw. But then again, when you are ahead by 45 percentage points, you can play it clean.
6) It is time, my friends, for us go over what we have learned during this election season from studying all of our favorite TV political ads, besides the fact that all of the candidates are liars.
a) Maggie is corrupt.
b) Louise is an old fart in late stage Alzheimer's.
c) Ted O'Brien is guilty.
d) Sean Hanna hates women's rights.
e) Kathy Hochul ships jobs to China.
f) Chris Collins fires workers and ships more jobs to China.
g) Obama is a socialist Kenyan.
h) Romney is an elitist who hates 47% of us.
Well, If I have neglected any area candidate I am sorry and I will get you the next time.
Also, being a King I am waiting for Donald Trump to offer me five million dollars to release my transcripts. They may not be pretty, well at least the first two years aren't, but for five mill I will release them along with a naked picture of myself. Heck, maybe Donald will give me a million NOT to release a naked picture of myself.
OK, we are getting silly now so I had better take a break. Have a great evening my friends!!
Monday, November 5, 2012
The Bills Suck and Other Wondrous Tidbits
1) Again, Mr. Moron, erstwhile coach of the Buffalo Bills, continues to baffle your King and probably a whole cadre of fellow Western New Yorkers. The Bills have two of the best running backs in the league and yet they do not use them. C.J. and Fred only had six carries apiece. Six carries apiece??? Mr. Moron was mumbling something about the Texans defense but I do not buy it at all. You do what you do best and if they stop it then you try other things. The Texans were never given a chance to stop it as Mr. Moron continually put the ball into the hands of one of the lamest, most overpaid quarterbacks in the league. This team baffles me to no end. Look at Indianapolis!! They won 2 silly games last year and this year they are in the playoff hunt. Now that is what I call turning a team around. At least Mr. Mindless', Dave Wannstedt, defense played a tad better but that effort went to waste as the offense was putrid. Mr. Moron and Mr. Mindless...What a pair.
2) Less than thirty hours to go until the end of the political ad season. This year's ads have reached a new low. At least the ads confirm what we already know and that is that all of the candidates suck! Again, the Kingdom of Moronica is non-committal in regards to who will get the moronican vote this year to be President. They both suck but I have to decide who may suck the least if elected. It may come down to the VPs as it is a battle between 'Old foot in mouth' Biden and 'Voucher Boy' Ryan. I do not like Ryan at all. I would like to think, deep down, that Ol' Mitt has the heart of a moderate, at least that is what I like to think and I could vote for a guy like that. We will see first thing in the morning.
3) Has anyone missed the NHL??
4) Your King wishes to congratulate the Livonia Bulldogs boys soccer team as they won the Section V, Class B title. Coach Ray Maxwell has one of the most brilliant soccer minds this side of the Atlantic. He can take a ball of yarn and turn it into a great player. Now it is off to the States for the boys...Go get 'em Bulldogs!!!!
5) Does anyone else notice that if Mr. Moron, Chan Gailey, dyed his hair black he would have the same hair as Kim Jong Il?? Kim Jong made us happy by dying. Mr. Moron would make us happy by running the ball.
Well, my limited mind has run dry for the time being so I will end it for the evening. This is your King saying, I may not drink but when I do I drink and ice cold Molson!! Au revoir!
2) Less than thirty hours to go until the end of the political ad season. This year's ads have reached a new low. At least the ads confirm what we already know and that is that all of the candidates suck! Again, the Kingdom of Moronica is non-committal in regards to who will get the moronican vote this year to be President. They both suck but I have to decide who may suck the least if elected. It may come down to the VPs as it is a battle between 'Old foot in mouth' Biden and 'Voucher Boy' Ryan. I do not like Ryan at all. I would like to think, deep down, that Ol' Mitt has the heart of a moderate, at least that is what I like to think and I could vote for a guy like that. We will see first thing in the morning.
3) Has anyone missed the NHL??
4) Your King wishes to congratulate the Livonia Bulldogs boys soccer team as they won the Section V, Class B title. Coach Ray Maxwell has one of the most brilliant soccer minds this side of the Atlantic. He can take a ball of yarn and turn it into a great player. Now it is off to the States for the boys...Go get 'em Bulldogs!!!!
5) Does anyone else notice that if Mr. Moron, Chan Gailey, dyed his hair black he would have the same hair as Kim Jong Il?? Kim Jong made us happy by dying. Mr. Moron would make us happy by running the ball.
Well, my limited mind has run dry for the time being so I will end it for the evening. This is your King saying, I may not drink but when I do I drink and ice cold Molson!! Au revoir!
Sunday, November 4, 2012
King vs. Leaves...Leaves WIN!!!
The backyard raking season is finally over. Usually your King feels very good about what he has accomplished in ridding Moronica of the leafy menace. Not this year as the leaves have fought back with a vengeance and are being credited with the victory. Thanks to the leafy menace my back aches, my shoulders hurt and my hands feel like they belong to someone else and were just attached to my arms. Not withstanding though the back yard looks great, except for where the remnants of the neighbor's tree still sit. I will peck away at it over time and slowly get rid of it. Oh the joys of owning just a little hand saw. I also cleaned out the culvert area where the creek flows under the road. Nothing like finding out that your boots leak and your feet are getting a serious cold soak. But I cleaned it out and the water is flowing nicely and I felt so much better soon afterward when I took a nice hot shower. As they say a clean King is not a stinky King.
I am glad that I finished it up Saturday as today was the first day where we had some decent flurry activity. The first snowfall is always fun to watch but now I could care less if I ever see again. I doubt very much that we will have a winter like we had last year where winter was pretty much a no-show. The last week has been very cold, very wet and very crappy here in Moronica. That only adds to the aches and pains in your aging King's body. The forecasters are predicting a cold, wet and crappy November and that usually means that it will be warm and sunny. Something tells me that they will get it right this time.
Your King is thinking about getting one of those Teeter Hangups that they advertise on TV for my aching back. Please, if any of my readers have ever tried this device I would like your feedback before I get one. I would rather not raid the Treasury of Moronica for something that people do not recommend but if it gets good reviews then I will authorize its purchase. But then again maybe dangling upside down for ten minutes a day will improve the blood flow to my brain and return it to normal. We can only hope.
I am glad that I finished it up Saturday as today was the first day where we had some decent flurry activity. The first snowfall is always fun to watch but now I could care less if I ever see again. I doubt very much that we will have a winter like we had last year where winter was pretty much a no-show. The last week has been very cold, very wet and very crappy here in Moronica. That only adds to the aches and pains in your aging King's body. The forecasters are predicting a cold, wet and crappy November and that usually means that it will be warm and sunny. Something tells me that they will get it right this time.
Your King is thinking about getting one of those Teeter Hangups that they advertise on TV for my aching back. Please, if any of my readers have ever tried this device I would like your feedback before I get one. I would rather not raid the Treasury of Moronica for something that people do not recommend but if it gets good reviews then I will authorize its purchase. But then again maybe dangling upside down for ten minutes a day will improve the blood flow to my brain and return it to normal. We can only hope.
Friday, November 2, 2012
King vs. Sandy and Other Trivial Crap
1) Well, Superstorm Sandy has come and gone, well not quite as it has changed the local weather pattern and we are now colder and wetter than we would have been if Sandy never made an appearance. Moronica did suffer some damage from Sandy and your King is still cleaning up Moronican soil from the debris left by that big bag of wind. I had this Friday off, as I was hoping when I scheduled it to play golf, and spent the afternoon trying to clean up. Half of my back yard looks nice while the other half still looks like hell. I have big pieces of half a tree in my back yard compliments of the town park that Moronica abuts. What is even worse is that this piece of tree took out the electricity for 17 hours(kudos to RG&E for getting Moronica up and running again so quickly!!) AND it was located behind my neighbor's yard. But, with my luck running as bad as usual, the bulk of it ended up in my yard. And, of course, the only saw I have is a piece of crap little hand saw. That ought to do the cleanup job nice and quick, don't you think??
What is funny is that at work we have someone there by the nickname of Sandy so his Halloween costume, pretty much, just fell into his lap. He just put on a shirt with a hurricane symbol and made a mess wherever he went. He won the prize. Your King, however, spared no expense in getting a great Spiderman costume, so good in fact that some people STILL do not know that it was me, and put on a fun show when it was time to present the costume. Obviously the secret voters were anti-monarchists and your King ended up in the toilet. Maybe I should have raided the Moronican treasury and offered a few bribes. What I should have done was save my Spongebob costume from ten years ago as that was a great piece of home made work and wowed everyone and used that. Well, being that I do this every ten years, I have plenty of time to make a better costume. So I guess I lost a double header to Sandy.
2) The NHL is locked out but who cares. I like hockey but I am not missing it at this time. Maybe when the MLS playoffs are over my attitude may change but I doubt it. Last year was the famous MSG vs. Time-Warner battle and I lost my Sabres for over a month but I really did not miss it, though I did love writing about it. Now we have MSG but, again, I do not have my Sabres. Maybe the NHL had better get its act together before more and more fans do not care about it. Oh well, there is always the EPL (English Premier League) on the Fox Soccer Channel for me to enjoy.
3) The Bills suck. The Bills signed Claude Rains, I mean Mario Williams to an ungodly contract but he sucks. The defense sucks. QB Ryan Fitzpatrick makes me long for the days of Dennis Shaw and Gary Marangi. The only bright spot is the running game with Jackson and Spiller. Why Coach Gailey, now to be known as Mr. Moron much to my disappointment, gives the two of them together only about twenty carries a game baffles me. These two guys get big chunks of yardage whenever they run the ball. They should get at least 35 total carries a game, apiece would be nice, and keep the ball out of Fitzpatrick's feeble hands as much as possible. The Bills will run the ball twice, get two first downs and then have Fitz try three straight passes in order to allow them punt the ball away. Now THAT is coaching!!! Run the fuzucking ball until they load up the defense to stop you, then pass. Not Mr. Moron as he runs the ball enough only to set up the punt in a better position.
Ugh. Time to go back to the couch and relax. Enough crappola for tonight from my fingers. Have a pleasant evening my friends!!
PS: Claude Rains played the Invisible Man to all of you morons that did not know that. If you did my compliments to you!
What is funny is that at work we have someone there by the nickname of Sandy so his Halloween costume, pretty much, just fell into his lap. He just put on a shirt with a hurricane symbol and made a mess wherever he went. He won the prize. Your King, however, spared no expense in getting a great Spiderman costume, so good in fact that some people STILL do not know that it was me, and put on a fun show when it was time to present the costume. Obviously the secret voters were anti-monarchists and your King ended up in the toilet. Maybe I should have raided the Moronican treasury and offered a few bribes. What I should have done was save my Spongebob costume from ten years ago as that was a great piece of home made work and wowed everyone and used that. Well, being that I do this every ten years, I have plenty of time to make a better costume. So I guess I lost a double header to Sandy.
2) The NHL is locked out but who cares. I like hockey but I am not missing it at this time. Maybe when the MLS playoffs are over my attitude may change but I doubt it. Last year was the famous MSG vs. Time-Warner battle and I lost my Sabres for over a month but I really did not miss it, though I did love writing about it. Now we have MSG but, again, I do not have my Sabres. Maybe the NHL had better get its act together before more and more fans do not care about it. Oh well, there is always the EPL (English Premier League) on the Fox Soccer Channel for me to enjoy.
3) The Bills suck. The Bills signed Claude Rains, I mean Mario Williams to an ungodly contract but he sucks. The defense sucks. QB Ryan Fitzpatrick makes me long for the days of Dennis Shaw and Gary Marangi. The only bright spot is the running game with Jackson and Spiller. Why Coach Gailey, now to be known as Mr. Moron much to my disappointment, gives the two of them together only about twenty carries a game baffles me. These two guys get big chunks of yardage whenever they run the ball. They should get at least 35 total carries a game, apiece would be nice, and keep the ball out of Fitzpatrick's feeble hands as much as possible. The Bills will run the ball twice, get two first downs and then have Fitz try three straight passes in order to allow them punt the ball away. Now THAT is coaching!!! Run the fuzucking ball until they load up the defense to stop you, then pass. Not Mr. Moron as he runs the ball enough only to set up the punt in a better position.
Ugh. Time to go back to the couch and relax. Enough crappola for tonight from my fingers. Have a pleasant evening my friends!!
PS: Claude Rains played the Invisible Man to all of you morons that did not know that. If you did my compliments to you!
Friday, October 26, 2012
Politics Makes Your King Sick
Well the elections are rapidly approaching and not fast enough for your King's taste. The ads being run this year have sunk to new lows. Lows that I never thought could be reached. The worst ads are the attack ads by special interest groups that are 'not' affiliated with any political party. These attack ads pretty much rape the candidate they are targeting and are so full of lies it makes you sick. The only ads that should be allowed are ads that are put up by the candidates or the candidates parties. These special interest group rape ads need to be banned and I do not care about "freedom of speech'. They leave a bad taste in my mouth no amount of Listerine can get rid of.
I have been in contact with some of my friends down in the DELMARVA area where Virginia is listed as a toss up state. Boy are they lamenting about the number of ads they are being subjected to. I really do feel for them as they cannot get a break.
The election seems to be a toss up at this time. Obama had a lead and then blew it when he stunk out the joint during that first debate. I have to admit ol' Mitt looked good as he left Obama in his rear view mirror. I would love to vote for Mitt but Ryan scares me. I am not a fan of his as he is to far right for me. Still I will probably wait until I finally get my ballot before deciding on who will get my vote. That is if I decide to vote. I am getting more and more disheartened every year by the tone of the campaigning. I mean we all know, from the ads, that Mitt sucks donkeys and Obama is a Muslim terrorist who was born in Kenya. Well, not really but that is what you get from the ads. Hey, how about something refreshing for a change..Please tell us what you really want to do, if elected, without lying. YEAH, as if that will ever happen.
It will be interesting to see which direction the country will go after election Tuesday. The seniors had better start saving their money for their meds if the GOP gains full control as the donut hole coverage will be repealed along with Obamacare. And heaven forbid if you have a pre-existing condition or turn eighteen as your coverage will disappear. All I have to say is that if they do repeal it they had better have something ready to replace it immediately as there are a lot of good things with this law that need to be continued.
The biggest issue nowadays is that you have to many members of Congress that flat out refuse to work with the other party as if they had Leprosy. That is reason #1 as to why our economy is still dragging as nothing is getting done. No compromise is the mantra these days. Maybe some day they will learn to play together but it probably will not be in my lifetime.
Well I have said my piece for tonight and I need to stop because the topic is making my stomach roll. Maybe I will spout off some more in the near future. This is your King wishing you a pleasant evening
I have been in contact with some of my friends down in the DELMARVA area where Virginia is listed as a toss up state. Boy are they lamenting about the number of ads they are being subjected to. I really do feel for them as they cannot get a break.
The election seems to be a toss up at this time. Obama had a lead and then blew it when he stunk out the joint during that first debate. I have to admit ol' Mitt looked good as he left Obama in his rear view mirror. I would love to vote for Mitt but Ryan scares me. I am not a fan of his as he is to far right for me. Still I will probably wait until I finally get my ballot before deciding on who will get my vote. That is if I decide to vote. I am getting more and more disheartened every year by the tone of the campaigning. I mean we all know, from the ads, that Mitt sucks donkeys and Obama is a Muslim terrorist who was born in Kenya. Well, not really but that is what you get from the ads. Hey, how about something refreshing for a change..Please tell us what you really want to do, if elected, without lying. YEAH, as if that will ever happen.
It will be interesting to see which direction the country will go after election Tuesday. The seniors had better start saving their money for their meds if the GOP gains full control as the donut hole coverage will be repealed along with Obamacare. And heaven forbid if you have a pre-existing condition or turn eighteen as your coverage will disappear. All I have to say is that if they do repeal it they had better have something ready to replace it immediately as there are a lot of good things with this law that need to be continued.
The biggest issue nowadays is that you have to many members of Congress that flat out refuse to work with the other party as if they had Leprosy. That is reason #1 as to why our economy is still dragging as nothing is getting done. No compromise is the mantra these days. Maybe some day they will learn to play together but it probably will not be in my lifetime.
Well I have said my piece for tonight and I need to stop because the topic is making my stomach roll. Maybe I will spout off some more in the near future. This is your King wishing you a pleasant evening
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Mumblings from the King of Moronica
1) The NFL replacement refs are driving me nuts. They just plain suck and they make games last forever. NFL games are now becoming unwatchable. I see more flags during a game than I see outside of the United Nations building. Enough is enough, time for the idiots to come to a mutually amicable agreement.
2) Speaking of morons how about that NHL. Looking more and more like the season is going to be lost. On the good side the AHL Rochester Americans should have a very strong team and be a lot of fun to watch. I may have to go to a bunch of games this year.
3) I do not know why but when the middle of September comes and goes my golf game goes to hell. After a spring and summer of playing I know suck donkeys on the course. I can hit the most beautiful shot and them follow it up with a shot that looks like I have never played the game before. I even joined the Livingston Country Club for the upcoming 2013 season and got to play the rest of this year for free but it is not helping. This past Sunday my back never loosened up and I could not get my body into the ball. It should not have mattered with my putting but after three holes I had nine putts. I am really not THAT bad on the green but I am getting very frustrated. I played at the Bath Country Club this past Friday and it is a very beautiful course. I shot 93 and played a couple of holes perfectly, butchered a few holes and played the rest rather ordinarily. My effort on 12 was a sight to behold as I hooked my shot so badly off the tee I needed a GPS to get back to my hole. After three more totally crappy shots I finally surrendered as some big pine tree ate my ball. Funny thing is I parred thirteen and birdied the tough fourteenth hole. Hmm, nothing that a 100 yard chip shot to withing two feet of the hole can't cure. So I CAN play this silly game...once in a while.
4) I send my wishes to a speedy recovery to my fellow King, Jerry Lawler. Usually these wrestling shows fake everything from broken arms to heart attacks but not this time. It was good to see him looking better last night when they interviewed him at home. Being dead for over a minute will probably change his perspective. Get well King!!!
5) I am getting truly annoyed at the William Mattar and Cellino & Barnes ads on TV and everywhere else. I think I enjoyed life more when ambulance chasing attorneys were not allowed to advertise. I could probably live comfortably for the rest of my life on their advertising budget for one month...
6) And speaking of moronic adds September still has a ways to go but the political ads are in full swing. They are annoying now and are guaranteed to become more annoying as election day draws near. I am so sick of the attack ads that I mute them when they come on. Very few ads talk about the issues as they mostly say the other guy sucks donkeys. UGH!! They should make a rule that only the Democrat and Republican committees can air ads. The special group attack ads piss me off so badly with their twisted facts and other crap that they should not be allowed to run. But this is America and I guess it does not matter if you put lies on the TV in an ad.
Ok, enough is enough for this evening. Hopefully I can regain my stride and start my posts up again at a somewhat normal speed but, since I am lazy when it comes to this, it may be weeks before I return. Who knows, maybe I will see something so stupid that I will return tomorrow. But until my return I wish you all a great evening.
2) Speaking of morons how about that NHL. Looking more and more like the season is going to be lost. On the good side the AHL Rochester Americans should have a very strong team and be a lot of fun to watch. I may have to go to a bunch of games this year.
3) I do not know why but when the middle of September comes and goes my golf game goes to hell. After a spring and summer of playing I know suck donkeys on the course. I can hit the most beautiful shot and them follow it up with a shot that looks like I have never played the game before. I even joined the Livingston Country Club for the upcoming 2013 season and got to play the rest of this year for free but it is not helping. This past Sunday my back never loosened up and I could not get my body into the ball. It should not have mattered with my putting but after three holes I had nine putts. I am really not THAT bad on the green but I am getting very frustrated. I played at the Bath Country Club this past Friday and it is a very beautiful course. I shot 93 and played a couple of holes perfectly, butchered a few holes and played the rest rather ordinarily. My effort on 12 was a sight to behold as I hooked my shot so badly off the tee I needed a GPS to get back to my hole. After three more totally crappy shots I finally surrendered as some big pine tree ate my ball. Funny thing is I parred thirteen and birdied the tough fourteenth hole. Hmm, nothing that a 100 yard chip shot to withing two feet of the hole can't cure. So I CAN play this silly game...once in a while.
4) I send my wishes to a speedy recovery to my fellow King, Jerry Lawler. Usually these wrestling shows fake everything from broken arms to heart attacks but not this time. It was good to see him looking better last night when they interviewed him at home. Being dead for over a minute will probably change his perspective. Get well King!!!
5) I am getting truly annoyed at the William Mattar and Cellino & Barnes ads on TV and everywhere else. I think I enjoyed life more when ambulance chasing attorneys were not allowed to advertise. I could probably live comfortably for the rest of my life on their advertising budget for one month...
6) And speaking of moronic adds September still has a ways to go but the political ads are in full swing. They are annoying now and are guaranteed to become more annoying as election day draws near. I am so sick of the attack ads that I mute them when they come on. Very few ads talk about the issues as they mostly say the other guy sucks donkeys. UGH!! They should make a rule that only the Democrat and Republican committees can air ads. The special group attack ads piss me off so badly with their twisted facts and other crap that they should not be allowed to run. But this is America and I guess it does not matter if you put lies on the TV in an ad.
Ok, enough is enough for this evening. Hopefully I can regain my stride and start my posts up again at a somewhat normal speed but, since I am lazy when it comes to this, it may be weeks before I return. Who knows, maybe I will see something so stupid that I will return tomorrow. But until my return I wish you all a great evening.
Monday, July 30, 2012
Your King Returns Again!!
Boy has it been a while since I last posted something. There seemed to be an issue with the site and I stayed away but it seems to be working fine now so I guess I will return to bugging the human race with my pontifications. Just a quicky rundown of some things that have happened since I took leave of my site.
1) Your King shot a 77 back in late May at the Livingston Country Club and has played like garbage since, HOWEVER, I seem to be on the way to having my August rally as I shot an 84 yesterday. 2 months of crap sucked now hopefully I will have 2 months of decent play to make up for it.
2) My the Aurora shooter get the quickest death penalty known to man. Whether he is nuts or not he deserves a quick exit off this planet.
3) Mowed my lawn once this month. One of the very few benefits of a lack of rain.
4) The Bills are back in town getting ready for the season. Chan Gailey has some real talent to work with this year, as long as they stay healthy. If anyone can get them to the playoffs it is Chan. He is a good coach.
5) Went to see three movies the past two weeks. "Ted" was raunchy fun. "The Amazing Spiderman" was very good but I prefered the original. I enjoyed "The Dark Knight Rises". It really wasn't what I expected so I guess that is why I enjoyed it.
Man, I wasn't ready to have my site back to normal so I will sign off now and get some things together to write about. Stay tunes my friends!!
1) Your King shot a 77 back in late May at the Livingston Country Club and has played like garbage since, HOWEVER, I seem to be on the way to having my August rally as I shot an 84 yesterday. 2 months of crap sucked now hopefully I will have 2 months of decent play to make up for it.
2) My the Aurora shooter get the quickest death penalty known to man. Whether he is nuts or not he deserves a quick exit off this planet.
3) Mowed my lawn once this month. One of the very few benefits of a lack of rain.
4) The Bills are back in town getting ready for the season. Chan Gailey has some real talent to work with this year, as long as they stay healthy. If anyone can get them to the playoffs it is Chan. He is a good coach.
5) Went to see three movies the past two weeks. "Ted" was raunchy fun. "The Amazing Spiderman" was very good but I prefered the original. I enjoyed "The Dark Knight Rises". It really wasn't what I expected so I guess that is why I enjoyed it.
Man, I wasn't ready to have my site back to normal so I will sign off now and get some things together to write about. Stay tunes my friends!!
Monday, May 7, 2012
Your King Has the Blahs
It has been a while since your King has posted anything. I attribute it to shear laziness on my part. After going nuts earlier in the year my motivation, for some reason, has hit the skids. Not that there isn't anything to write about, just nothing really to stir me enough to get to my site and write some garbage. Really, it has been a trying spring for your King. Ever since my return from my golf trip to Myrtle Beach your King's life has been rather unremarkable. My golf game is so so. I am getting fatter, much to my chagrin even though I have increased my exercise amount greatly. I am just tried, bored and totally unmotivated at this time.
Maybe it is the ten hour days I have been putting in at work. Maybe it is the stupid kids that continue to trespass on Moronican soil, despite my bellowings to stay off, to get to the park and royally piss me off. Who knows? Maybe the Shadow knows but he ain't talking. The Sabres keeping Ruff and Regier?? Yeah, that probably pisses me off the most. That regime constantly gets rewarded for mediocrity. Amazing.
Well, I have reached the limit of my attention span and will close out for the night. Maybe I will get motivated again soon, but then again, maybe not. Good day.
Maybe it is the ten hour days I have been putting in at work. Maybe it is the stupid kids that continue to trespass on Moronican soil, despite my bellowings to stay off, to get to the park and royally piss me off. Who knows? Maybe the Shadow knows but he ain't talking. The Sabres keeping Ruff and Regier?? Yeah, that probably pisses me off the most. That regime constantly gets rewarded for mediocrity. Amazing.
Well, I have reached the limit of my attention span and will close out for the night. Maybe I will get motivated again soon, but then again, maybe not. Good day.
Friday, April 6, 2012
April Showers Pretty Much Upset Your King's Golf Game
March was a very quiet month, posting wise, for your King so maybe I will just jot down some garbage just to keep me amused.
I went to the Garden Factory today after work and picked up some more bulbs and plants to put into my Royal Botanical Garden. The tulips will be gone early this year and once they go Moronica will start looking very drab so I will plant some extra crap. Maybe some nice young lady will see how great Moronica looks and may check it out...yeah, right. The only thing the new flowers will attract are bees and I will probably end up getting stung knowing my luck lately. I even bought some cacti for the inside of my castle. I used to have it but when I went to Utah back in the mid nineties I gave them away and never got any more. I missed having my cactus so I splurged. Knowing my luck they will now probably die.
The ex queen is on her way to Myrtle Beach today to visit her folks with the Pizza King. He was the Burger King but he got a promotion. Luckily I made my trip there last month so there would be no danger of running into her but I do look forward to knowing she is nowhere nearby next week. I do miss her folks though. It is hard to believe it has been almost a month already since my trip. I hope they do this golf trip next year and I hope they invite me again.
Mowed my yard for the first time this year on Wednesday. I only mowed about two thirds of it but still it was three weeks earlier than I ever had to mow it before. The yard has been completely cleared of all of winter's twigs and branches that have been deposited and the back yard is drier at this time of the year than it has ever been. Screwy weather!! Now it is going to be crappy and very cool next week and now I wish I was heading south.
It is now April and not once did I set foot in Spencerport "Bedrock" Lanes or any bowling alley at all for that matter this past bowling season. I just don't miss it at all. That is baffling as I am a very good bowler but I just don't want to do it anymore. Bedrock was great in that aspect as it put out any fire that I had to continue bowling and for that I thank Bedrock.
Is there anything better in this world than an ice cold A&W root beer? If there is I want to know about it.
Going to play some golf tomorrow morning as it finally looks like we will have a nice weekend for a change. I have taken advantage of the crappy weather to get in some OT at work to try to catch up but not having my young apprentice helping me is driving me nuts. But I am plugging away and that is all I can do.
Speaking of the Country Club rumour has it that they are taking my favorite item off the menu. The steamed clams in Bayou Sauce is great there but I heard them say that the quality of the clams has been a bit weak so they are removing it from the menu until the quality improves. As long as they come back I can live with that or I am going to have to buy my own clams, waddle my ass to the Country Club and tell the chef to whip up some calibati bread and bayou sauce to go with them for me. As a King I deserve this type of extra good treatment.
I guess that is enough of my garbage, and I do mean garbage, for tonight. This is your King wishing you a pleasant evening!
I went to the Garden Factory today after work and picked up some more bulbs and plants to put into my Royal Botanical Garden. The tulips will be gone early this year and once they go Moronica will start looking very drab so I will plant some extra crap. Maybe some nice young lady will see how great Moronica looks and may check it out...yeah, right. The only thing the new flowers will attract are bees and I will probably end up getting stung knowing my luck lately. I even bought some cacti for the inside of my castle. I used to have it but when I went to Utah back in the mid nineties I gave them away and never got any more. I missed having my cactus so I splurged. Knowing my luck they will now probably die.
The ex queen is on her way to Myrtle Beach today to visit her folks with the Pizza King. He was the Burger King but he got a promotion. Luckily I made my trip there last month so there would be no danger of running into her but I do look forward to knowing she is nowhere nearby next week. I do miss her folks though. It is hard to believe it has been almost a month already since my trip. I hope they do this golf trip next year and I hope they invite me again.
Mowed my yard for the first time this year on Wednesday. I only mowed about two thirds of it but still it was three weeks earlier than I ever had to mow it before. The yard has been completely cleared of all of winter's twigs and branches that have been deposited and the back yard is drier at this time of the year than it has ever been. Screwy weather!! Now it is going to be crappy and very cool next week and now I wish I was heading south.
It is now April and not once did I set foot in Spencerport "Bedrock" Lanes or any bowling alley at all for that matter this past bowling season. I just don't miss it at all. That is baffling as I am a very good bowler but I just don't want to do it anymore. Bedrock was great in that aspect as it put out any fire that I had to continue bowling and for that I thank Bedrock.
Is there anything better in this world than an ice cold A&W root beer? If there is I want to know about it.
Going to play some golf tomorrow morning as it finally looks like we will have a nice weekend for a change. I have taken advantage of the crappy weather to get in some OT at work to try to catch up but not having my young apprentice helping me is driving me nuts. But I am plugging away and that is all I can do.
Speaking of the Country Club rumour has it that they are taking my favorite item off the menu. The steamed clams in Bayou Sauce is great there but I heard them say that the quality of the clams has been a bit weak so they are removing it from the menu until the quality improves. As long as they come back I can live with that or I am going to have to buy my own clams, waddle my ass to the Country Club and tell the chef to whip up some calibati bread and bayou sauce to go with them for me. As a King I deserve this type of extra good treatment.
I guess that is enough of my garbage, and I do mean garbage, for tonight. This is your King wishing you a pleasant evening!
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Nonsense from your Favorite Nut
1) Well, it has been tough to sit in front of my monitor typing out my usual bunch of garbage lately, if you haven't noticed, now that MSG is back on the air AND the Sabres actually playing like they should have been for the entire year and being worth watching. Miller has been a rock and the FES line of Stafford, Foligno and Ennis has been amazing. Watching them now begs the question "Why the three month period when they played like absolute crap??" I still think Ruff should go but this hot spell again will probably save his job. Look at St. Louis for example because after 13 games they sucked, trashed their coach and now have the best record in the whole bloody league. Man, I wonder what coach Ken Hitchcock could have done with the cast of players that Buffalo has. The Sabres are still too small, suck at faceoffs and need better centers. Ville Leino has been playing so much better lately so why now? His paycheck was the same size back in November as it is now. The trade of Kassian for Hodgson and Sulzer is looking decent so far but we do miss the Goose at the faceoff circle. They are two points into eighth place right now and they have a tough schedule finishing up. Well let us hope that they make it.
2) It is always nice having someone who is used to drive fast doing the driving to Myrtle Beach. We shaved at least an hour each off the trip down and back and that includes lengthy stops for chow. For the most part we ate rather well down in Myrtle. That is until someone saw a Ryan's buffet and recommended it for dinner and so we pulled in. OK. Your King did not travel 850 miles to eat at an Old Country Buffet but that is what we were stuck with. It was not bad but not what I want when I go to Myrtle. We made up for it the next day when your King treated the guys to a Calabash Seafood Buffet. The crab put up a valiant fight but in the end it was massacred. And we had an extra plus too with a hot Russian waitress taking care of us. She did have a fine butt but I am happily digressing. Man, I love these buffets but I think my days of getting my money's worth are coming to an end as I cannot chow down like I used to. What I did to the crab at the Seafare Restaurant only a few years ago is stuff of legends. It was such a massacre that they moved the restaurant far away from where I normally stay. Cowards!
3) The gorgeous spring weather that we had has now disappeared. For two straight weeks in March we had high temps of 60 or higher. I cannot recall in my whole life a stretch of weather like that. Now the weather has returned to normal and it sucks but I still may have to mow my front yard this weekend. Amazing.
Oh well, that is enough for tonight. I just wanted to type a bit to let you all know that I haven't died, much to your chagrin I bet. Man, it is 9:16 and I am almost ready to head for bed. Too many long days at work are taking its toll on me but I will try to get some exercise this weekend to try to get back into better shape this year so I can feel stronger when I have to put in long hours. No more riding carts for your King as I am walking the course this year! And it is about time!
2) It is always nice having someone who is used to drive fast doing the driving to Myrtle Beach. We shaved at least an hour each off the trip down and back and that includes lengthy stops for chow. For the most part we ate rather well down in Myrtle. That is until someone saw a Ryan's buffet and recommended it for dinner and so we pulled in. OK. Your King did not travel 850 miles to eat at an Old Country Buffet but that is what we were stuck with. It was not bad but not what I want when I go to Myrtle. We made up for it the next day when your King treated the guys to a Calabash Seafood Buffet. The crab put up a valiant fight but in the end it was massacred. And we had an extra plus too with a hot Russian waitress taking care of us. She did have a fine butt but I am happily digressing. Man, I love these buffets but I think my days of getting my money's worth are coming to an end as I cannot chow down like I used to. What I did to the crab at the Seafare Restaurant only a few years ago is stuff of legends. It was such a massacre that they moved the restaurant far away from where I normally stay. Cowards!
3) The gorgeous spring weather that we had has now disappeared. For two straight weeks in March we had high temps of 60 or higher. I cannot recall in my whole life a stretch of weather like that. Now the weather has returned to normal and it sucks but I still may have to mow my front yard this weekend. Amazing.
Oh well, that is enough for tonight. I just wanted to type a bit to let you all know that I haven't died, much to your chagrin I bet. Man, it is 9:16 and I am almost ready to head for bed. Too many long days at work are taking its toll on me but I will try to get some exercise this weekend to try to get back into better shape this year so I can feel stronger when I have to put in long hours. No more riding carts for your King as I am walking the course this year! And it is about time!
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Your King Returns From Spring Training
It has been rather quiet here in Moronica for the last few weeks. I just haven't had much to write about and when I did I was just too lazy to do it. So I may as well write about my spring training golf trip to Myrtle Beach that I just returned from. Three friends of mine and I traveled to Myrtle to play four different courses this past week to get in some preparation for this year's upcoming golf season at the Livingston Country Club. The courses were, Heather Glen, Glen Dornach, Kings North and Long Bay. All four courses were great to play on with the best by far being Kings North.
Heather Glen featured 27 holes with lots of sand, water and waste areas. I played rather well on the course and shot a 91. On the third nine I shot a 41 and if I had only putted so-so for the whole day my scores would have been much better. I was constantly on the green in regulation but could not connect for birds, let alone in some cases pars. The greens were very fast and it was tough to get the speed right. It is a great course and I recommend playing it if you head down there.
Glen Dornach was a challenge. With more water and sand but fewer waste areas it was a tough but fair challenge that your King was not up to. I guess I was a little stiff from the day before and it showed as I played like I never held a club in my life. The last three holes on the course could be summed up in one word - bitches. With water, sand, waste areas and the intercoastal waterway coming into play they were three picturesque holes but a bitch to play. Not a good thing when you are playing badly. We played the back nine for our replay to get our extra nine in for the day and I played them marginally better finishing with a great par on eighteen.
Kings North, located at the Myrtle National Golf Course, was a treat. A truly beautiful and well maintained course with fairways that made it seem like you were playing on AstroTurf. I played much better and I was happy to shoot a 92 for my first eighteen holes. The course had many holes where you had to play shots over large expanses of water but I managed to stay dry. This course is a must play if you go to Myrtle. For our extra nine we played the front nine of the South Creek course. It was nowhere near as nice as Kings North but still presented challenges. It was here where I bagged my first 'house in one'. The hole's left side was lined with homes and as I hit my tee shot I cringed as I hooked it a bit left and plunked a house loudly. I did not look for that ball and moved quickly along feeling great shame.
Long Bay was probably the weakest of the four courses that we played but it was still an outstanding course. It featured a Jack Nicklaus designed hole from hell. Hole number ten featured a peninsula fairway surrounded by a waste area with lots of 'moguls' if you hit it outside of the waste areas. I guess I do not need to tell you where my first shot ended up now do I? I had moments of brilliance on the course but had too many nightmares leading to a below average round. My crowning achievement for the day was parring the tough eighteenth hole. It is a 380 yard long hole that had tons of water on the right all the way to the green. I blocked my tee shot a bit to the left leaving me 205 yards to the green from the left rough. It was not a pretty sight checking out my next shot and seeing the trouble surrounded the green so I took out my trusty seven wood, which showed up to play all week, and laced a fantastic shot to the middle of the green. I had a forty foot putt for bird that I just missed and tapped in for par. A great finish to my spring training trip as we then hopped in the van and headed for home after finishing up.
All in all it was a great trip as we ate well and had a good time, especially for your King as my wallet had a bit more moolah in it since I pretty much cleaned up on all of the side bet games that we played and I only lost one ball into the water. That in itself is amazing considering the amount of water I had to play over and around for the week. It was a lot of golf. ninety nine holes worth, crammed into a four day period. I am now almost ready for the season but I will need to work on my putting big time as the touch I had in January was nowhere to be seen in Myrtle. I will get to Livingston early tomorrow and spend some time chatting with my putter. If I can get that working, along with the few little changes I have made with my swing maybe I can show some serious improvement this season. I am tired of playing like an eighteen handicapper and I know I can knock that down a few pegs as I need to become more consistent. There is a bit more to write about the trip but I will save that for another posting.
Heather Glen featured 27 holes with lots of sand, water and waste areas. I played rather well on the course and shot a 91. On the third nine I shot a 41 and if I had only putted so-so for the whole day my scores would have been much better. I was constantly on the green in regulation but could not connect for birds, let alone in some cases pars. The greens were very fast and it was tough to get the speed right. It is a great course and I recommend playing it if you head down there.
Glen Dornach was a challenge. With more water and sand but fewer waste areas it was a tough but fair challenge that your King was not up to. I guess I was a little stiff from the day before and it showed as I played like I never held a club in my life. The last three holes on the course could be summed up in one word - bitches. With water, sand, waste areas and the intercoastal waterway coming into play they were three picturesque holes but a bitch to play. Not a good thing when you are playing badly. We played the back nine for our replay to get our extra nine in for the day and I played them marginally better finishing with a great par on eighteen.
Kings North, located at the Myrtle National Golf Course, was a treat. A truly beautiful and well maintained course with fairways that made it seem like you were playing on AstroTurf. I played much better and I was happy to shoot a 92 for my first eighteen holes. The course had many holes where you had to play shots over large expanses of water but I managed to stay dry. This course is a must play if you go to Myrtle. For our extra nine we played the front nine of the South Creek course. It was nowhere near as nice as Kings North but still presented challenges. It was here where I bagged my first 'house in one'. The hole's left side was lined with homes and as I hit my tee shot I cringed as I hooked it a bit left and plunked a house loudly. I did not look for that ball and moved quickly along feeling great shame.
Long Bay was probably the weakest of the four courses that we played but it was still an outstanding course. It featured a Jack Nicklaus designed hole from hell. Hole number ten featured a peninsula fairway surrounded by a waste area with lots of 'moguls' if you hit it outside of the waste areas. I guess I do not need to tell you where my first shot ended up now do I? I had moments of brilliance on the course but had too many nightmares leading to a below average round. My crowning achievement for the day was parring the tough eighteenth hole. It is a 380 yard long hole that had tons of water on the right all the way to the green. I blocked my tee shot a bit to the left leaving me 205 yards to the green from the left rough. It was not a pretty sight checking out my next shot and seeing the trouble surrounded the green so I took out my trusty seven wood, which showed up to play all week, and laced a fantastic shot to the middle of the green. I had a forty foot putt for bird that I just missed and tapped in for par. A great finish to my spring training trip as we then hopped in the van and headed for home after finishing up.
All in all it was a great trip as we ate well and had a good time, especially for your King as my wallet had a bit more moolah in it since I pretty much cleaned up on all of the side bet games that we played and I only lost one ball into the water. That in itself is amazing considering the amount of water I had to play over and around for the week. It was a lot of golf. ninety nine holes worth, crammed into a four day period. I am now almost ready for the season but I will need to work on my putting big time as the touch I had in January was nowhere to be seen in Myrtle. I will get to Livingston early tomorrow and spend some time chatting with my putter. If I can get that working, along with the few little changes I have made with my swing maybe I can show some serious improvement this season. I am tired of playing like an eighteen handicapper and I know I can knock that down a few pegs as I need to become more consistent. There is a bit more to write about the trip but I will save that for another posting.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Patience Pays Off!! And Other Things of Relative Non-Importance
1) Well I waited until February 29, as Santa told me, and my patience paid off. I left my stupid tree up and this morning I found that he left me a new golf wheelie push cart and a new pair of golf shoes. It was exactly what you King needed and wanted. I may have had to wait for two months for Christmas but the big guy really came through for me. I thank him profusely.
2) Is there anything more annoying than British soccer announcers? Man, I love the sport but they drive me nuts at times. If a team or a city has an 'A' at the end of their name it suddenly becomes an 'R'. For example the soccer club Aston Villa becomes Aston Viller or the team from Italy called Roma becomes Romer. Another thing about these announcers is their frequent way of making a point and then ending that point with a question that really does not beg to be answered. That leads me to believe that some of these announcers are Welsh as that is a mannerism of theirs, isn't it? Whoops! There I go and use one of their mannerisms. So sorry. But I still enjoy their commentary even with their annoying habits. But then again they probably find we colonials just as annoying.
3) Well, in regards to my last blog about the missing BVDs I have to say that the order I placed Saturday evening from a site called 'His Room' arrived yesterday. I have to give this place a pat on the back for getting me exactly what I wanted so quickly and at a very reasonable price. AND since my order was just large enough shipping was free and that is a big bonus for your financially strapped King. I now have 15 pairs of BVDs for less than three bucks a pair. I guess I will be in good shape for quite a while.
4) In a big shake up at my place of employment your King has been moved from his cube that has been his residence for the past five years. It looks as though I have been exiled to Elba...or in other words, the far side of the building and I do mean the FAR side. At first I thought it was to isolate me from the rest of the general population of the place, probably to keep me from spreading the propaganda of my Kingdom, but after getting settled I think I scored big time. I still may have been exiled but it is a nice exile. I still have a bit of organizing to do but I think I will be a more productive happy cat. At least I won't have to breathe in the fumes of burnt popcorn from the break room anymore and strive to keep myself from passing out by inhaling them. That has to be one of the most obnoxious smells ever and it takes forever for the fumes to dissipate. UGH!
5) We have now reached calendar Spring, that is March, April and May, in Moronica. It has been a rather quiet winter and that is an understatement. While it may still deliver us a wallop before it is done the next ten days look very springlike for my Kingdom per the Weather Channel website. Maybe now the Town of Gates can fix the craters on the road to Moronica, especially around the curve in the road just before you get to my Kingdom. I can only pray, when I head home, that there is no one coming the opposite way when I take that curve so I can veer around the craters, since your King does not drive a moon buggy.
6) A new film is being released by Moronica Pictures very soon. It is about the sculptor's travails, design and the creation of the statue "The Venus de Milo". The movie is called "A Farewell To Arms" and will be in theatres shortly. Be the first to see it!!
Well, I have run out of nonsense for this evening, and I bet you are all happy about that, so I will end this post. Have a nice evening my friends!
2) Is there anything more annoying than British soccer announcers? Man, I love the sport but they drive me nuts at times. If a team or a city has an 'A' at the end of their name it suddenly becomes an 'R'. For example the soccer club Aston Villa becomes Aston Viller or the team from Italy called Roma becomes Romer. Another thing about these announcers is their frequent way of making a point and then ending that point with a question that really does not beg to be answered. That leads me to believe that some of these announcers are Welsh as that is a mannerism of theirs, isn't it? Whoops! There I go and use one of their mannerisms. So sorry. But I still enjoy their commentary even with their annoying habits. But then again they probably find we colonials just as annoying.
3) Well, in regards to my last blog about the missing BVDs I have to say that the order I placed Saturday evening from a site called 'His Room' arrived yesterday. I have to give this place a pat on the back for getting me exactly what I wanted so quickly and at a very reasonable price. AND since my order was just large enough shipping was free and that is a big bonus for your financially strapped King. I now have 15 pairs of BVDs for less than three bucks a pair. I guess I will be in good shape for quite a while.
4) In a big shake up at my place of employment your King has been moved from his cube that has been his residence for the past five years. It looks as though I have been exiled to Elba...or in other words, the far side of the building and I do mean the FAR side. At first I thought it was to isolate me from the rest of the general population of the place, probably to keep me from spreading the propaganda of my Kingdom, but after getting settled I think I scored big time. I still may have been exiled but it is a nice exile. I still have a bit of organizing to do but I think I will be a more productive happy cat. At least I won't have to breathe in the fumes of burnt popcorn from the break room anymore and strive to keep myself from passing out by inhaling them. That has to be one of the most obnoxious smells ever and it takes forever for the fumes to dissipate. UGH!
5) We have now reached calendar Spring, that is March, April and May, in Moronica. It has been a rather quiet winter and that is an understatement. While it may still deliver us a wallop before it is done the next ten days look very springlike for my Kingdom per the Weather Channel website. Maybe now the Town of Gates can fix the craters on the road to Moronica, especially around the curve in the road just before you get to my Kingdom. I can only pray, when I head home, that there is no one coming the opposite way when I take that curve so I can veer around the craters, since your King does not drive a moon buggy.
6) A new film is being released by Moronica Pictures very soon. It is about the sculptor's travails, design and the creation of the statue "The Venus de Milo". The movie is called "A Farewell To Arms" and will be in theatres shortly. Be the first to see it!!
Well, I have run out of nonsense for this evening, and I bet you are all happy about that, so I will end this post. Have a nice evening my friends!
Sunday, February 26, 2012
BVDs, BVDs, Where Fore Art Thou BVDs!!!
You know what really sucks? It sucks when you have a favorite brand of undershorts and cannot find them anywhere locally. Last night I took a trip to stock up on some BVD undershorts. I like them as they are relatively inexpensive, maintain their fit and last longer than most other brands. JC Penneys, at the Greece Ridge Mall, usually carries this brand but when I visited the store it looked like they were closing them out as not much was left in BVD's small, and I do mean small, section located in the Men's Undershorts Dept. I was livid, not to mentioned pissed off. I stomped out and headed to check out Sears, Macy's and Target even though I knew my searches there were going to be fruitless and, of course, they were. While I was making my rounds I checked the prices for other brands of undershorts and was amazed at what I saw. They put some dopey guys name on a package of shorts and are charging $27 for a package of three briefs. OMG man!! I just want a decent pair of undershorts to wear...I don't want to wear "Johnny Smith's" specialty brand of briefs for a bazillion dollars apiece. My stinky butt isn't worth that price.
Now, as a good guy, I would love to keep the money that I spend on such things local so it upsets me when I have to go online to get something as simple as BVD brand underwear. I have tried other brands...some lose their fit and start to sag, some just fall apart after a few wearings but BVD brand undertrou lasts and lasts. Hmm, maybe that is why these stores have stopped selling them but I digress. Maybe I am paranoid but it always seems that when I like something a store decides to get rid of it. An example of this would be Mancini brand sweet peppers in tomato sauce. I used to get a jar of this from Wegmans whenever I cooked up some Tony Costanza's cajun sausages. There is nothing like a Tony Costanza cajun sausage with peppers and tomato sauce on a bun but since I liked it Wegmans got rid of it. I now have to buy a pepper and a can of tomato sauce and make my own when I cook up a Tony Costanza cajun sausage. It is just as good but now I have to do more work and clean up more dishes. I preferred the lazy way. Another example would be Tombstone Pizza as I liked that and again Wegmans stopped carrying it. Maybe I should get rid of my shoppers club card that is telling Wegmans what I like to buy. And it is not just Wegmans. I bought my squirrel chow from Walmart and guess what...it looks like they have phased that out too. Heaven forbid if I run out of squirrel chow and my squirrels decide to revolt.
But getting back to the BVD situation you would think that at least one local store would keep a good stock of these on hand. But no. I had counted on Penneys to be my bastion for BVDs but they have failed your King miserably. All I want are undershorts that I know will not let your King, and his royal heiny, down. And yes, I found an online men's store that sells my BVDs and I stocked up so JC Penneys can now go screw itself....Man am I nasty today or what? I guess you would be nasty too if it concerned the comfort of your butt.
Now, as a good guy, I would love to keep the money that I spend on such things local so it upsets me when I have to go online to get something as simple as BVD brand underwear. I have tried other brands...some lose their fit and start to sag, some just fall apart after a few wearings but BVD brand undertrou lasts and lasts. Hmm, maybe that is why these stores have stopped selling them but I digress. Maybe I am paranoid but it always seems that when I like something a store decides to get rid of it. An example of this would be Mancini brand sweet peppers in tomato sauce. I used to get a jar of this from Wegmans whenever I cooked up some Tony Costanza's cajun sausages. There is nothing like a Tony Costanza cajun sausage with peppers and tomato sauce on a bun but since I liked it Wegmans got rid of it. I now have to buy a pepper and a can of tomato sauce and make my own when I cook up a Tony Costanza cajun sausage. It is just as good but now I have to do more work and clean up more dishes. I preferred the lazy way. Another example would be Tombstone Pizza as I liked that and again Wegmans stopped carrying it. Maybe I should get rid of my shoppers club card that is telling Wegmans what I like to buy. And it is not just Wegmans. I bought my squirrel chow from Walmart and guess what...it looks like they have phased that out too. Heaven forbid if I run out of squirrel chow and my squirrels decide to revolt.
But getting back to the BVD situation you would think that at least one local store would keep a good stock of these on hand. But no. I had counted on Penneys to be my bastion for BVDs but they have failed your King miserably. All I want are undershorts that I know will not let your King, and his royal heiny, down. And yes, I found an online men's store that sells my BVDs and I stocked up so JC Penneys can now go screw itself....Man am I nasty today or what? I guess you would be nasty too if it concerned the comfort of your butt.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Boom Boom...Out Go The Lights
Well, in the middle of the Sabres-Bruins hockey the lights went out in Moronica. Hmm, Maybe Vicki Lawrence can make a song out of that but I digress. The winds were predicted to howl last night and howl they did but they were not even singing at full speed yet when the area went dark. I have to give kudos to RG&E as they had the power back up in 90 minutes. We have had winds in this area much stronger than what we had last night without barely a flicker but out they went.
At least the lights came back on in time for me to see the Sabres beat the Bruins in a shootout. It looks like the Sabres, now relatively healthy and despite Mindy Ruff's horrible system and coaching ability, are trying to make a run at the playoffs again. They did it last year only to run out of gas in the playoffs.The season started off so well and the turn in it came when Milan Lucic ran Sabre goalie Ryan Miller and left him with a concussion. The thing was that nobody turned out Lucic's lights after it happened. The team pussified when it should have gone into caveman mode. Now I am not a fan of the big time brawls, and I have seen a couple of doozies between these two teams, but if there was ever a time for an all out brawl between two teams that was the time. Nobody came to Miller's defense and it was a sad sight to see. This, I believe, led to the Sabres slide down to the bottom, not the injuries that the Sabre hierarchy claims was the reason.
At least the lights came back on in time for me to see the Sabres beat the Bruins in a shootout. It looks like the Sabres, now relatively healthy and despite Mindy Ruff's horrible system and coaching ability, are trying to make a run at the playoffs again. They did it last year only to run out of gas in the playoffs.The season started off so well and the turn in it came when Milan Lucic ran Sabre goalie Ryan Miller and left him with a concussion. The thing was that nobody turned out Lucic's lights after it happened. The team pussified when it should have gone into caveman mode. Now I am not a fan of the big time brawls, and I have seen a couple of doozies between these two teams, but if there was ever a time for an all out brawl between two teams that was the time. Nobody came to Miller's defense and it was a sad sight to see. This, I believe, led to the Sabres slide down to the bottom, not the injuries that the Sabre hierarchy claims was the reason.
Friday, February 17, 2012
Hell Freezes Over!!!
Shock of shocks. Watching the news tonight it was reported that the Madison Square Garden Network (MSG) and the Time Warner feud has finally ended on day 48 of the battle. The Basketball fans get their Knicks back and I get my Sabres back. Wait a second...that does not sound like a good deal for me as the Sabres suck eggs and the Knicks are hot. Man, I am now wondering why I let out a whoop when I heard of the deal. Oh well, at the very least I get my Red Bulls back for the upcoming MLS season and that puts a smile on your King's puss.
What is funny is the last thing that I knew they were not even speaking to each other as they both took their toys and went home. Rumor has it the State of New York did some prodding to get these two babies to stop crying and play together like good children. Looks like another win for America's best Governor Andrew Cuomo!!! Well, maybe not a win but I think he gets credited for an assist at least. Well whatever it was the MSG blackout is finally over and we again get to hear Rick Jenneret's great play by play wasted on the stinky Sabres.
Speaking of the pitiful Sabres, who we now get to watch, they got spanked by the Flyers last night. The Sabres came out fast and led 2-0 after one period and then all hell broke loose. Philly scored some quick goals in the second and then Mindy called a time out to 'settle' his club. He settled them down all right as he ranted like a fool and the Sabres then rolled over and played dead, no, they didn't play dead as they just plain died. What kind of proof does Terry Pegula need to see before he finally realizes that the team has tuned out Mindy Ruff?? If seeing the last two periods of Thursday night's game isn't enough to click those brain cells on in Pegula's skull I do not know what will do it. And we now get to see this garbage on the telly. How I miss the MSG blackout already.
What is funny is the last thing that I knew they were not even speaking to each other as they both took their toys and went home. Rumor has it the State of New York did some prodding to get these two babies to stop crying and play together like good children. Looks like another win for America's best Governor Andrew Cuomo!!! Well, maybe not a win but I think he gets credited for an assist at least. Well whatever it was the MSG blackout is finally over and we again get to hear Rick Jenneret's great play by play wasted on the stinky Sabres.
Speaking of the pitiful Sabres, who we now get to watch, they got spanked by the Flyers last night. The Sabres came out fast and led 2-0 after one period and then all hell broke loose. Philly scored some quick goals in the second and then Mindy called a time out to 'settle' his club. He settled them down all right as he ranted like a fool and the Sabres then rolled over and played dead, no, they didn't play dead as they just plain died. What kind of proof does Terry Pegula need to see before he finally realizes that the team has tuned out Mindy Ruff?? If seeing the last two periods of Thursday night's game isn't enough to click those brain cells on in Pegula's skull I do not know what will do it. And we now get to see this garbage on the telly. How I miss the MSG blackout already.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Moronica Flu Strikes! Get Your Shots Now!!!
1) You know what drives your King absolutely bonkers?? I will call it the Moronica Flu. This happens when a person catches it and does stupid things. I sent an email yesterday to someone who must have had a serious case of this flu. I was proactive and gave this person all the pertinent information required and what do I get today?? An email back requesting the exact same information that I provided in my email yesterday. Why to I even try to be proactive when I am subjected to moronica like this? I may not be the brightest bulb around but I would like to think that the person at the other end of an informative email is a bit brighter than a ten watt bulb. Geez!!!
2) Well, after visiting the Royal Accountant yesterday I found that Moronica once again qualifies for its yearly foreign aid payment from the United States Government. The amount is not as much as last year but it will be needed and appreciated. I always wish it could be more but beggars cannot be choosers.
3) The Buffalo Sabres season...may it rest in peace. Please, oh please, let Terry Pegula recover from the Moronica Flu and get rid of Darcy Regier and Mindy Ruff. Is that too much to ask for?
4) Nothing like coming home and finding a rare message left on my answering machine. Could it be Yolanda Vega? Crystal Egger? Vladimir Putin? Warren Buffett? Nope. As usual it was from some company looking for my ex-queen. Boy, I wonder what THEY want.... As if I didn't know. I do enjoy calling them back and telling them that they are two years too late...and then rat out her phone number. At least it stops them from bugging me.
5) Why couldn't George Washington, Martin Luther King and Abe Lincoln have been born during the summer??
Oh well, It is another tiresome, boring work week night. As you can tell by the number of postings in my blog so far this year I have had many of those nights. Maybe it is time for me to find a new queen ......................... Pardon me as it took about fifteen minutes for me to stop laughing, collect my thoughts and continue. I may be a bit moronic but I am not stupid. Though some people may beg to differ on that. Bye for now!
2) Well, after visiting the Royal Accountant yesterday I found that Moronica once again qualifies for its yearly foreign aid payment from the United States Government. The amount is not as much as last year but it will be needed and appreciated. I always wish it could be more but beggars cannot be choosers.
3) The Buffalo Sabres season...may it rest in peace. Please, oh please, let Terry Pegula recover from the Moronica Flu and get rid of Darcy Regier and Mindy Ruff. Is that too much to ask for?
4) Nothing like coming home and finding a rare message left on my answering machine. Could it be Yolanda Vega? Crystal Egger? Vladimir Putin? Warren Buffett? Nope. As usual it was from some company looking for my ex-queen. Boy, I wonder what THEY want.... As if I didn't know. I do enjoy calling them back and telling them that they are two years too late...and then rat out her phone number. At least it stops them from bugging me.
5) Why couldn't George Washington, Martin Luther King and Abe Lincoln have been born during the summer??
Oh well, It is another tiresome, boring work week night. As you can tell by the number of postings in my blog so far this year I have had many of those nights. Maybe it is time for me to find a new queen ......................... Pardon me as it took about fifteen minutes for me to stop laughing, collect my thoughts and continue. I may be a bit moronic but I am not stupid. Though some people may beg to differ on that. Bye for now!
Monday, February 13, 2012
Maniacal Alpacas Reported in Washington County New York
We just received a special report from one of Moronica News Central's lead field reporters that a delivery person was attacked by a pack of Alpacas near a town in Washington County New York.
In an interview with Moronica's reporter the shocked delivery person said " I was going to this property to make a delivery. I was warned by a coworker as I was leaving to do my job that there were Alpacas at that address but I thought what he meant were either that the people were part of an Alpaca Indian Tribe or they were some Deliverance type of people that you would find living in Appalachia. So I was preparing myself for that."
The delivery person continued "I arrived at the address, got out of my car, and approached the house when all of a sudden I see these big furry animals heading my way fast. It was only then I realized that I did not really listen to my coworker when he warned me and that Alpacas were in fact big animals with attitude. They had mouths like camels with lots of teeth and faces that looked like Bin Laden's and they were coming straight at me. I was scared out of my wits but after getting bitten and kicked a few times I made it back to the safety of my car only to have the beasts snarling and spitting at me. I started my car and got out of there as fast as I could.
The reporter also stated that the delivery person felt like it was a scene out of Deliverance and considered herself lucky she wasn't Ned Beatty'd. So I guess the moral of this report is to avoid Washington County Alpacas unless you want to squeal like a pig.
This story is basically true and I want to thank a good friend who gave me the gist of this story so that the world can be alerted to these crazed Alpacas! To be fair some items in this report were adjusted to protect the innocent and make the story fit for Moronican consumption.
In an interview with Moronica's reporter the shocked delivery person said " I was going to this property to make a delivery. I was warned by a coworker as I was leaving to do my job that there were Alpacas at that address but I thought what he meant were either that the people were part of an Alpaca Indian Tribe or they were some Deliverance type of people that you would find living in Appalachia. So I was preparing myself for that."
The delivery person continued "I arrived at the address, got out of my car, and approached the house when all of a sudden I see these big furry animals heading my way fast. It was only then I realized that I did not really listen to my coworker when he warned me and that Alpacas were in fact big animals with attitude. They had mouths like camels with lots of teeth and faces that looked like Bin Laden's and they were coming straight at me. I was scared out of my wits but after getting bitten and kicked a few times I made it back to the safety of my car only to have the beasts snarling and spitting at me. I started my car and got out of there as fast as I could.
The reporter also stated that the delivery person felt like it was a scene out of Deliverance and considered herself lucky she wasn't Ned Beatty'd. So I guess the moral of this report is to avoid Washington County Alpacas unless you want to squeal like a pig.
This story is basically true and I want to thank a good friend who gave me the gist of this story so that the world can be alerted to these crazed Alpacas! To be fair some items in this report were adjusted to protect the innocent and make the story fit for Moronican consumption.
Some Bah From Your Favorite Humbug
1) I think it is time we had the Ghost Hunters come to Rochester, New York for a visit. While they were in Naples they should have come up and checked out a car that is owned by a friend of mine. It seems lately that the car is haunted. The power windows to my friend's BMW, yes BMW, seem to go up and down on their very own. Nobody has to be anywhere near the car for the windows to be doing this so it is just plain easy to figure out that this vehicle is haunted. Luckily the windows to the official vehicle of your King are manually powered thus making it difficult for the spirits to have fun with it. Hmm, methinks your King should be driving a BMW.
2) Word has it that Santa has been dumped by Pepsi. In an official report from Pepsi headquarters it seems that Santa's close association with Coca-Cola over the years has made his advertising with Pepsi a bit unbelievable so Pepsi has jettisoned our favorite bearded fat man from its payroll. Santa could not be reached at this time for comment as he is vacationing in the Bahamas. Looks like the jolly old man will be working a bit more this year than last(see posting from August '11). Heartbreaking.
3) We had about fifteen inches of snow this past weekend in Moronica and after today a good chunk of it has melted. Even the squirrels are coming out to my feeder for a snack. From the looks of the forecast the ground may be bare again, at least where it did not get piled up, as the temperatures are going to be in the mid-forties by Wednesday. What a goofy winter.
4) Speaking of weather I cannot think of a hotter meteorologist than the Weather Channel's Crystal Egger. What I wouldn't give to find her under my Christmas Tree with a nice red bow in her hair with a sticky that says TO: King Dinglefritz...FROM: Santa. Now that would make my wait worthwhile!!! Hooooboy!!
Wait, wait...I have just received a report from a Moronica News Central reporter from North Central New York. After a quick review I will post it later tonight. Stay tuned!!!!
2) Word has it that Santa has been dumped by Pepsi. In an official report from Pepsi headquarters it seems that Santa's close association with Coca-Cola over the years has made his advertising with Pepsi a bit unbelievable so Pepsi has jettisoned our favorite bearded fat man from its payroll. Santa could not be reached at this time for comment as he is vacationing in the Bahamas. Looks like the jolly old man will be working a bit more this year than last(see posting from August '11). Heartbreaking.
3) We had about fifteen inches of snow this past weekend in Moronica and after today a good chunk of it has melted. Even the squirrels are coming out to my feeder for a snack. From the looks of the forecast the ground may be bare again, at least where it did not get piled up, as the temperatures are going to be in the mid-forties by Wednesday. What a goofy winter.
4) Speaking of weather I cannot think of a hotter meteorologist than the Weather Channel's Crystal Egger. What I wouldn't give to find her under my Christmas Tree with a nice red bow in her hair with a sticky that says TO: King Dinglefritz...FROM: Santa. Now that would make my wait worthwhile!!! Hooooboy!!
Wait, wait...I have just received a report from a Moronica News Central reporter from North Central New York. After a quick review I will post it later tonight. Stay tuned!!!!
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Winter Finally Arrives With an Attitude in Moronica and Stuff
It is now February 12 and it looks like winter has finally arrived here in Moronica. We have had about 8-10 inches so far, mostly thanks to that stinking Lake Ontario, and it is still falling. I drove to Wegmans to get my paper and the roads are absolutely atrocious. I am sure the road crews are doing the best they can but for a while the snow was falling at well over an inch an hour and it is hard for them to keep up to that. But at least it now looks like winter outside. As long as I am home and have nowhere to go I can sit and enjoy watching the flakes fall. While I hate the white crap this winter has felt strange without it and when we did get some it was gone the next day.
I am glad I made it to the Golf Expo yesterday because I certainly would not have made the drive in this crap today. I wonder if they shut down route 390 near the airport again today as it is much worse out than it was at this time Saturday. Also, the funny thing about this winter is when it does snow a lot it seems to come on the weekend, which is fine with me.
1) I watched a movie Friday night that I am dying to write about but I missed the first 20 minutes of it so I cannot at this time. Unlike 'Earth's Final Hours', for which I missed the first 20 minutes of and I thank god for that, I need to see the beginning of this movie because it is so weird. The name of this movie is 'Rubber' and it is about a sentient tire, of all things, that rolls around and has the ability to blow up animals and make people's heads explode. That last hour of the movie is so strange that I need to see the start, which I will on Monday night, because this movie is a must to write about. Hmm, a sentient tire...what will they think of next??
2) I had a good laugh today watching Italian soccer. Powerhouse Inter Milan lost a home game to league cellar dweller Novara today. Man, how I love it when a 'Yankees' like team takes it on the chin from an underdog, especially at home.
3) I filled up my squirrel feeder yesterday but even the squirrels are smart enough to stay home when it sucks this badly out. When you see the amount of traffic out on the roads on a day like today it makes you wonder which species is actually smarter when it sucks out. So far the score today is Squirrels 1 - King - 0. I will stay home for the rest of the day in hopes of evening the score. We shall see if they venture out.
I am glad I made it to the Golf Expo yesterday because I certainly would not have made the drive in this crap today. I wonder if they shut down route 390 near the airport again today as it is much worse out than it was at this time Saturday. Also, the funny thing about this winter is when it does snow a lot it seems to come on the weekend, which is fine with me.
1) I watched a movie Friday night that I am dying to write about but I missed the first 20 minutes of it so I cannot at this time. Unlike 'Earth's Final Hours', for which I missed the first 20 minutes of and I thank god for that, I need to see the beginning of this movie because it is so weird. The name of this movie is 'Rubber' and it is about a sentient tire, of all things, that rolls around and has the ability to blow up animals and make people's heads explode. That last hour of the movie is so strange that I need to see the start, which I will on Monday night, because this movie is a must to write about. Hmm, a sentient tire...what will they think of next??
2) I had a good laugh today watching Italian soccer. Powerhouse Inter Milan lost a home game to league cellar dweller Novara today. Man, how I love it when a 'Yankees' like team takes it on the chin from an underdog, especially at home.
3) I filled up my squirrel feeder yesterday but even the squirrels are smart enough to stay home when it sucks this badly out. When you see the amount of traffic out on the roads on a day like today it makes you wonder which species is actually smarter when it sucks out. So far the score today is Squirrels 1 - King - 0. I will stay home for the rest of the day in hopes of evening the score. We shall see if they venture out.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
FORE!!!! Route 390 Closed As They Let The Snow Play Through.
Your King decided to take a road trip down to the Dome Arena in Henrietta today, incognito of course, to visit the Golf Expo that was being held there. It was a tad disappointing as most of the boothes were either golf courses advertising themselves or charities trying to get donations. There were maybe four good areas where you could peruse a goodly amount of golf equipment so I spent some time in them looking at the merchandise. I really only need a few items, some I wish that Santa will bring me on February 29, but what I really wanted was a new gap/sand wedge. I found what I was looking for in one of the sales areas so I bought it. It is a 52 degree Cleveland C-15 wedge. Cleveland wedges are supposed to be one of the top of the line models and it replaces the piece of crap sand wedge that I had. It may take some getting used to as I expect this club to enhance any spin I put on the ball thereby increasing hold on the green and eliminating the BOING factor. It was rather pricey but still a lot cheaper than buying it at Dicks.
Now, the weather today was rather poor when I headed down to Henrietta and travel was a bit slower as we finally had a visit from Old Man Winter. Coming back from the Expo was rather interesting. I found that the entrance to Route 390 North was blocked off at the 390/590 split. I figured that there must be an accident somewhere so I went up 590 and crossed the city using 490 to return to Moronica. When I stopped at the sub shop to grab a bite for lunch I asked a gentleman if he knew what happened on 390. He told me that he heard that they shut it down at the airport to prevent another mass pileup, which involved over thirty vehicles, like the one they had in that area a couple of years ago. Now that is all well and good but are they going to do this every time it snows in Rochester??? A few years ago they built a mini tunnel around the airport in that area which raised the ground level next to the expressway on the airport side considerably. Due to the stupidity and lack of foresight of the designers mother nature now uses this increased elevation as its own runway to send snow flying across the expressway. During a wind driven snow this area has become one of the most dangerous stretches of road in New York. The stretch of expressway involved is only about 300 yards long but when the snow is blowing that part of the road can have visibility instantly reduced to zero even though on either side of the stretch the visibility is fine. They tried installing one of those cheap orange snow fences to try to alleviate this problem but that fence is a complete failure. I have watched the snow just fly over, and thumb its nose at, it when it was blowing and you can tell that it presented no obstacle to the snow. The designers of this airport mini tunnel 'improvement' should be enshrined into my Moronica Hall of Fame so if you know who designed this marvel please let me know. These designers are probably the same folks that design residential developments right next to rivers.
The one thing that would alleviate this problem that I would recommend would be to plant some bushy trees, pines probably, that would grow to about twenty feet along the 300 yard length of the expressway. That begs to ask if these bushy trees will interfere with airport operations? It is a big question as that would be the only way to protect the users of the expressway from this hazard but you do not want replace one hazard and create one for planes by doing this. It is sort of a catch twenty-two as they only real answer is to dig up that tunnel and return that area to the way it was. But nobody is going to do that.
Now, the weather today was rather poor when I headed down to Henrietta and travel was a bit slower as we finally had a visit from Old Man Winter. Coming back from the Expo was rather interesting. I found that the entrance to Route 390 North was blocked off at the 390/590 split. I figured that there must be an accident somewhere so I went up 590 and crossed the city using 490 to return to Moronica. When I stopped at the sub shop to grab a bite for lunch I asked a gentleman if he knew what happened on 390. He told me that he heard that they shut it down at the airport to prevent another mass pileup, which involved over thirty vehicles, like the one they had in that area a couple of years ago. Now that is all well and good but are they going to do this every time it snows in Rochester??? A few years ago they built a mini tunnel around the airport in that area which raised the ground level next to the expressway on the airport side considerably. Due to the stupidity and lack of foresight of the designers mother nature now uses this increased elevation as its own runway to send snow flying across the expressway. During a wind driven snow this area has become one of the most dangerous stretches of road in New York. The stretch of expressway involved is only about 300 yards long but when the snow is blowing that part of the road can have visibility instantly reduced to zero even though on either side of the stretch the visibility is fine. They tried installing one of those cheap orange snow fences to try to alleviate this problem but that fence is a complete failure. I have watched the snow just fly over, and thumb its nose at, it when it was blowing and you can tell that it presented no obstacle to the snow. The designers of this airport mini tunnel 'improvement' should be enshrined into my Moronica Hall of Fame so if you know who designed this marvel please let me know. These designers are probably the same folks that design residential developments right next to rivers.
The one thing that would alleviate this problem that I would recommend would be to plant some bushy trees, pines probably, that would grow to about twenty feet along the 300 yard length of the expressway. That begs to ask if these bushy trees will interfere with airport operations? It is a big question as that would be the only way to protect the users of the expressway from this hazard but you do not want replace one hazard and create one for planes by doing this. It is sort of a catch twenty-two as they only real answer is to dig up that tunnel and return that area to the way it was. But nobody is going to do that.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
A Trio of Tripe from your King
1) Coach Mindy Ruff of the Sabres is out for today's game with an upper body injury. I can tell as the Sabres are up 3-0 early in the second period. Jordan Leopold is now my favorite player on the team. Mindy may still be the coach but Leopold flattened him. Man that put a smile on my face. You may say "Boy King, you are one cold SOB" but so be it. Mindy must go and if it takes him getting plastered to get him out for a while then maybe he should get flattened more often. I have noticed that Mindy is at the game hiding up in the rafters, the wuss, maybe he should stay there. Hey, Tony Romo and Ryan Fitzpatrick played through cracked ribs why can't he??
2) The city of Rochester has been inundated by a murder of crows. And we all know what crows like to do and do lots of...poop. The areas where the crows hang out look like a war zone with all sorts of white bomb marks everywhere. The city has taken steps to drive them out as they have hired a group of people who are very good at it. Their goal is to drive them back into the countryside where they belong. HOWEVER, after watching Channel 13's news tonight, I see that there is a group of idiots that like the crows in the city. While I am a nature lover these morons must love the sight of crow poop stained stuff. The people that Channel 13 interviewed, that were pro-crow, each seemed to be a few cards short of a deck. Oh well, there is always someone that has to be against anything. You have to love them.
3) The Kingdom of Moronica now has a Major Domo and a Royal Comic Artist. What postition will be filled next? It is hard to get people to fill these official positions as these positions are unpaid due to the fact that the Moronican Treasury has been left pretty much empty but the ex-queen. It is almost time for Moronica's yearly financial aid from the United States. I wonder how much my Kingdom will collect this year. Now, I just have to expertly hide it from my ex-queen.
It is a quiet night here in Moronica. Not much to write about tonight though I am glad that I am now consistently adding posts to my blog of garbage. What I need to do is to scan the world looking for morons to write about. When I get enough info maybe I will write about the moron that went ballistic in Brother Wease's studio this past Monday. She makes the pro-crow people look like Einsteins. This woman is definitely missing about half of the deck. That is enough for tonight my friends. Only three tidbits to captivate your minds this evening. Hopefully next time I will have something really exciting from the Kingdom to expound on. Until next time.....
2) The city of Rochester has been inundated by a murder of crows. And we all know what crows like to do and do lots of...poop. The areas where the crows hang out look like a war zone with all sorts of white bomb marks everywhere. The city has taken steps to drive them out as they have hired a group of people who are very good at it. Their goal is to drive them back into the countryside where they belong. HOWEVER, after watching Channel 13's news tonight, I see that there is a group of idiots that like the crows in the city. While I am a nature lover these morons must love the sight of crow poop stained stuff. The people that Channel 13 interviewed, that were pro-crow, each seemed to be a few cards short of a deck. Oh well, there is always someone that has to be against anything. You have to love them.
3) The Kingdom of Moronica now has a Major Domo and a Royal Comic Artist. What postition will be filled next? It is hard to get people to fill these official positions as these positions are unpaid due to the fact that the Moronican Treasury has been left pretty much empty but the ex-queen. It is almost time for Moronica's yearly financial aid from the United States. I wonder how much my Kingdom will collect this year. Now, I just have to expertly hide it from my ex-queen.
It is a quiet night here in Moronica. Not much to write about tonight though I am glad that I am now consistently adding posts to my blog of garbage. What I need to do is to scan the world looking for morons to write about. When I get enough info maybe I will write about the moron that went ballistic in Brother Wease's studio this past Monday. She makes the pro-crow people look like Einsteins. This woman is definitely missing about half of the deck. That is enough for tonight my friends. Only three tidbits to captivate your minds this evening. Hopefully next time I will have something really exciting from the Kingdom to expound on. Until next time.....
Monday, February 6, 2012
Your King Honors Queen Elizabeth II
As ruler of the Kingdom of Moronica I would like to extend congratulations to fellow monarch Queen Elizabeth II of England who is now entering her sixtieth year of rule in merry old England. She is now the second longest reigning monarch in English history as only to Queen Victoria has held the throne longer. I wish her many more happy years of rule.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Honorary Title Graciously Accepted
A few days ago your King sent an email to the creator of the 'Pearls Before Swine' comic strip, Stephan Pastis, advising him of his elevation to the post of Honorary Comic Artist of the Kingdom of Moronica. I never expected a reply to that email considering the thousands that Stephan must get in regards to his strip. Well today I received an email back from him thanking your King for the honor and showing his appreciation.
Your King feels greatly honored by his response. In return I request all of my readers, if you are a fan of the strip and are inclined to do so, to send their newspaper a letter telling them how much you enjoy 'Pearls Before Swine'. As I told Stephan in my email I do not usually laugh out loud while reading the comics but his strip usually gets that response from me daily. Its not often I make a request of my subjects, in fact this is the first time, but sometimes you just have to let people know how you feel about something.
This is your King saying have a nice day!
Your King feels greatly honored by his response. In return I request all of my readers, if you are a fan of the strip and are inclined to do so, to send their newspaper a letter telling them how much you enjoy 'Pearls Before Swine'. As I told Stephan in my email I do not usually laugh out loud while reading the comics but his strip usually gets that response from me daily. Its not often I make a request of my subjects, in fact this is the first time, but sometimes you just have to let people know how you feel about something.
This is your King saying have a nice day!
Saturday, February 4, 2012
MSG Sucks Eggs!!! So Says Your King
1) Last weekend I was watching the Farmers Insurance Open golf tournament. At the time I tuned in leader Kyle Stanley had a six stroke lead with about half the round to play. In other words he was looking good for his first win until his inner Jean VandeVelde showed up. Like VandeVelde he had a three stroke lead going into the last hole which was a par 5 that really wasn't that difficult even though it did have a big pond in front of the green. He tried to play it smart and layed up his second shot about one hundred yards from the green. All he had to do was get it on the green. When he hit his third shot it looked great but when it hit the green it had the backspin from hell. It landed a bit to the right of the hole and went into reverse gear at warp eight and headed straight for the pond. A couple of times it looked like the grass in front of the pond was going to stop it but each time it took that extra quarter of a roll to get it going again and plop it went right into the water. He then dropped, chipped and three putted his way to a snowman eight. UGH!!! He was advertising, on his hat, the fact that he uses Titleist ProV1 golf balls. These balls grab and spin when they land on the green as I well know since even your King, the master of the big boing on the green, can make this ball spin backwards. The moron should have realized this and hit his third shot to the back of the green and let it spin back. The reason for that is the front half of the green slanted towards the water so any shot landing near the hole with backspin was going to be an adventure from hell. Still the end result of his shot was a rotten shame as it looked like he played it so well, until it landed. Unlike Kyle Stanley, Jean VandeVelde hacked and sacked his way to a triple bogey, which in itself was a miracle as he sunk a long putt to save the triple, on his last hole at the British Open making him a golfing world joke. Kyle actually played eighteen well except for that ugly backspin. Like VandeVelde, Kyle ended up going into a playoff. The lucky sap who was the benefit of his 'moment' was Brandt Snedeker, who probably gagged on his dinner in the clubhouse when he saw what was happening, and Kyle ended up losing on the second hole. You have to feel for the kid.
2) Your king learned today that Buffalo Bill great, Andre Reed, was again not elected into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in his seventh try. This is starting to become a yearly joke for this poor guy. He gets to the final ballot only to get screwed. This man is very deserving of being elected into the Hall but each year the group of voting morons keep him out. He needs to be in the hall with his buddies Thurman Thomas, Jim Kelly and Bruce Smith.
3) I had a good laugh watching the Manchester City vs. Fulham soccer game on the tube today. It was snowing like a banshee in England today and it was fun watching them play snow soccer. The weather must be worse in Italy as the Inter Milan game was scheduled next on the tube but that wasn't shown. There is nothing like watching any sporting event being played in a snowstorm.
4) It was a rather quiet day in my Kingdom. I went to my royal barber and had my ears lowered. He is well into his seventies but looks like he is sixty. I have to find out his secret.
5) The Royal Christmas tree is still up in anticipation of Santa's February 29th leap year special delivery to people he felt could wait for their gifts. How I got onto that list I would like to know. He told me to leave the stupid tree up and so I have, luckily it is artificial. I will probably feel like a total moron when the 29th comes and goes and there is still nothing under that tree. I still haven't opened those stupid cans of nuts yet and I think I slept through half of Congo. Hmm, Maybe I should watch it just before bedtime as I could use a solid eight hours for a change. But then again, knowing my luck, it will probably end up putting me into a coma.
6) Ugh, Nothing on the tube tonight as the MSG, Madison Square Garden Television Network, blackout has reached day 35 so not even the boring Sabres are on. I think someone at Time Warner is confused since when the people say "NO MSG" we are talking about Chinese food, not the stinking network. The thing MSG had better realize, and soon, is the fact that people CAN live without them. When the monarchy had to drop DirecTV, because of tree issues, and go back to cable I had to give up a few channels that I enjoyed. I have learned to live without them. Time Warner subscribers will learn to live without MSG. What is really funny about MSG is that during the summer they are, with the exception of the Red Bull soccer games, a network of reruns and they want ESPN like money for their network. Who wants to pay top dollar for that???
'Nuf said for tonight, have a nice evening.
2) Your king learned today that Buffalo Bill great, Andre Reed, was again not elected into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in his seventh try. This is starting to become a yearly joke for this poor guy. He gets to the final ballot only to get screwed. This man is very deserving of being elected into the Hall but each year the group of voting morons keep him out. He needs to be in the hall with his buddies Thurman Thomas, Jim Kelly and Bruce Smith.
3) I had a good laugh watching the Manchester City vs. Fulham soccer game on the tube today. It was snowing like a banshee in England today and it was fun watching them play snow soccer. The weather must be worse in Italy as the Inter Milan game was scheduled next on the tube but that wasn't shown. There is nothing like watching any sporting event being played in a snowstorm.
4) It was a rather quiet day in my Kingdom. I went to my royal barber and had my ears lowered. He is well into his seventies but looks like he is sixty. I have to find out his secret.
5) The Royal Christmas tree is still up in anticipation of Santa's February 29th leap year special delivery to people he felt could wait for their gifts. How I got onto that list I would like to know. He told me to leave the stupid tree up and so I have, luckily it is artificial. I will probably feel like a total moron when the 29th comes and goes and there is still nothing under that tree. I still haven't opened those stupid cans of nuts yet and I think I slept through half of Congo. Hmm, Maybe I should watch it just before bedtime as I could use a solid eight hours for a change. But then again, knowing my luck, it will probably end up putting me into a coma.
6) Ugh, Nothing on the tube tonight as the MSG, Madison Square Garden Television Network, blackout has reached day 35 so not even the boring Sabres are on. I think someone at Time Warner is confused since when the people say "NO MSG" we are talking about Chinese food, not the stinking network. The thing MSG had better realize, and soon, is the fact that people CAN live without them. When the monarchy had to drop DirecTV, because of tree issues, and go back to cable I had to give up a few channels that I enjoyed. I have learned to live without them. Time Warner subscribers will learn to live without MSG. What is really funny about MSG is that during the summer they are, with the exception of the Red Bull soccer games, a network of reruns and they want ESPN like money for their network. Who wants to pay top dollar for that???
'Nuf said for tonight, have a nice evening.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Your King Names the Royal Comic Artist of Moronica
1) I have named Stephan Pastis, creator of the comic strip 'Pearls Before Swine' as the official comic artist of my Kingdom. His irreverent style fits perfectly with the theme of Moronica so if you see Mr. Pastis please let him know of this and the honor that has been bestowed upon him. I have asked his permission to name Rat as my Minister of Propaganda as I feel this would be a position that Rat would excel at.
2) You know it is time to go on a diet when you cross the road at an intersection and you trigger the stop light sensor pad as you cross it. Maybe I should lose a few lbs.
3) Ryan Miller seems to be back to his normal great self lately. He needs to be if the offensively challenged Buffalo Sabres are to have any kind of a decent finish to a year that held so much promise. Having not enough size and being very weak in the middle have doomed them this year. They have too many forwards making big bucks that are not doing a damned thing. Hey, If you do not score you cannot win...unless you shut out the other team and win in the shootout. They tried that against the Rangers and still lost. A great waste of a brilliant game by Miller.
4) Mitt, Boy am I rich, Romney kicked butt in Florida last Tuesday. The man knows how to make money and make it work for him. Maybe we need someone like that running our ship. Or maybe he can give the U.S. a loan. Either way would work for me. He seems to want to be a champion of the middle class and that is something we could use. Someone who gives the average joe a chance to survive and maybe prosper a bit. Who knows. Every single presidential candidate, past and present, has promised us the world yet we still get the same raw deal. It has happened before and will continue to happen again.
5) Looks like your King will be watching something else besides the Super Bowl this weekend. Talk about two teams that I could care less about!!! All the hype for this game and for the most part the game never lives up to it. AND we get Madonna as the NFL continues its policy of having a senior citizen friendly halftime show. I hear that they are trying to get Buddy Holly to be in next year's halftime show....but wait you say...he is dead. Hey, look at The Who, they performed like corpses last year so they may as well get a real one for Super Bowl XIXVMOUSE or whatever it is next year. Nobody will know the difference.
Well that is enough crappola for today. This is your King wishing you a pleasant evening.
2) You know it is time to go on a diet when you cross the road at an intersection and you trigger the stop light sensor pad as you cross it. Maybe I should lose a few lbs.
3) Ryan Miller seems to be back to his normal great self lately. He needs to be if the offensively challenged Buffalo Sabres are to have any kind of a decent finish to a year that held so much promise. Having not enough size and being very weak in the middle have doomed them this year. They have too many forwards making big bucks that are not doing a damned thing. Hey, If you do not score you cannot win...unless you shut out the other team and win in the shootout. They tried that against the Rangers and still lost. A great waste of a brilliant game by Miller.
4) Mitt, Boy am I rich, Romney kicked butt in Florida last Tuesday. The man knows how to make money and make it work for him. Maybe we need someone like that running our ship. Or maybe he can give the U.S. a loan. Either way would work for me. He seems to want to be a champion of the middle class and that is something we could use. Someone who gives the average joe a chance to survive and maybe prosper a bit. Who knows. Every single presidential candidate, past and present, has promised us the world yet we still get the same raw deal. It has happened before and will continue to happen again.
5) Looks like your King will be watching something else besides the Super Bowl this weekend. Talk about two teams that I could care less about!!! All the hype for this game and for the most part the game never lives up to it. AND we get Madonna as the NFL continues its policy of having a senior citizen friendly halftime show. I hear that they are trying to get Buddy Holly to be in next year's halftime show....but wait you say...he is dead. Hey, look at The Who, they performed like corpses last year so they may as well get a real one for Super Bowl XIXVMOUSE or whatever it is next year. Nobody will know the difference.
Well that is enough crappola for today. This is your King wishing you a pleasant evening.
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