King Rants on MSG

No, I am not talking about the crap that they put into Chinese food but the Madison Square Garden Network (MSG) that we watch on cable TV. It seems that MSG and Time Warner (TW) are at odds over what TW will pay MSG for programming. From what I gather there was a deal but MSG backed out because TW would not add MSG's rotten FUSE network to their lineup. Now MSG wants even more scratch from TW. At 12:00 a.m. tonight MSG gets blacked out which means that I lose my Sabres. You might think that I would be very upset over this but, after watching the Sabres play lately, I consider this an act of mercy by the MSG network to all of mankind.
The Sabres lost to Ottawa tonight in a shootout 3-2 but Ottawa could, and should, have won the game 9-2 as they hit the goalpost six times and the crossbar once. This means that they beat Sabre goalie Jhonas Enroth a total of nine times yet they only scored twice. Watching the Sabres play in the offensive zone has been very offensive lately. Their passing is pathetic as it seems the passes are always behind their teammates or in their teammate's skates so they waste valuable time getting control of the puck. And that is when they pass to their own team mates. When their passes are on the tape it is usually to one of the opponents who then skate off on a break. I won't miss that. Mindy Ruff has to go!!
Back to MSG, I actually wonder what the companies that advertise on MSG are going to think when a huge chunk of MSG's audience gets blacked out. They are not going to want to pay the advertising rates that MSG charges for a normal audience. But that does not seem to stop these networks from trying to suck every last dime out of us since if TW has to pay more who gets stuck with the bill? It is we the viewers.
I am getting sick of these constant blackout threats from these networks. Earlier in the year it was the ESPN family of networks that were going to get blacked out on TW but, in the end, a deal was hammered out keeping ESPN on the air.
When I had DirecTV the Versus Network got blacked out for a few months but then it returned in time for the NHL playoffs. Times are hard and it is getting to the point where the cost of getting cable or satellite TV is going to be prohibitive. Right now I have a two year deal with TW that holds my costs but when that expires next June I can't wait to see what happens to my bill. I cannot threaten to go back to satellite TV as Moronica is heavily forested and the one line of sight I had to the satellites has now been blocked by the ever growing trees. It would suck if I had to make a decision to get rid of cable because your King likes his tube. I enjoy the Science and Discovery networks on cable and watch them a lot to try to broaden my feeble mind. Oh well, maybe I can cut back on what I eat. Maybe I can make more Hamburger Helper without the hamburger. Boy does that sound tasty, doesn't it? My dad used to make spaghetti and he would put a little butter on it and eat it. Maybe that will be back on my menu more often but I digress. MSG and TW should get a deal done ASAP. All their sniping does is piss off the consumers, namely us. I am sick of seeing MSG's commercials telling us to switch to satellite. What happens when MSG and the satellite companies start sniping with each other?? As you can see it is just a stupid, vicious cycle and it makes your King very upset. I can live without watching the Sabres on TV and MSG had better understand that if we stop having access to their programming they may not get their audience back when they finally do come to terms. I wish I could tell both MSG and TW to take a hike.
Well, I have groused about this subject enough and it riles me up the more I think about it so I will now end this rant by wishing all of my valued readers a very pleasant evening. Good night!

Mumblings from Moronica

1) North Korea has a new leader by the name of Kim Jong Un. Looking at this guys picture he looks like a fat little toad. With the starvation that is rampant in that country this guy certainly has not been away from the dinner table. The North Koreans call this guy the "Supreme Leader". I call this guy 'Toady'. The reins of the world's most erratic country are now in the hands of this guy. I wonder what is up Toady's sleeve to spring upon the world.
2) The Bills managed to beat Denver last Sunday. I would have bet the ranch that Denver would have run roughshod over the Bills with their vaunted running game but, as always, I was wrong. The Bills actually showed life and played a good game. Too bad it was blacked out. Only a moron would schedule a game in Buffalo at the end of December, let alone on Christmas Eve, once again proving that the NFL hates the Bills and will do whatever they can to screw this franchise more than it screws itself.
3) The Iowa caucuses are coming up and the Seven Stooges are campaigning hot and heavy to get that boost to their campaign. The best of the bunch is Jon Huntsman but he does not stand a chance to get elected. The best of the rest, in my eyes, is Mitt Romney. The rest of them are so far to the right, except maybe for consumate Washington insider Newt Gingrinch, that they really are unelectable. Gingrinch, and yes I deliberately spelled it wrong, is unelectable in his own special way. For one thing he got paid over 1.5 million dollars from FNMA and Freddie Mac for some obscure reason, and from the state of those two entities, he did a rotten job.
4) Once again the boobs in Iran are doing their best to get the world pissed off at them. I can only imagine what the world would do if they attempted to close of the Strait of Hormuz and cut off the supply of oil. First of all the Strait is recognized as international waters and closing them would be considered to be an act of war. Personally, if they went in that direction, I would make a deal with the Russians and the Chinese. The three of us would go into and clean up that wacko regime and put in a more world friendly, note that I said world, regime. They are almost as wacked out as the North Korean regime and maybe even a tad more dangerous in the long run. The world would be better off without the Iranian Theocracy that runs that country. The good Iranian people did not deserve the Shah and they do not deserve the current batch of loonies in charge.
5) Nothing will make your King happier than seeing the New York Jets, along with their loudmouth bag of wind coach, miss the playoffs. I would much rather see any other team make it in, personally I would like to see the Bengals make it, and the Jets going home. That would put a smile on my face. Marv Lewis has worked wonders with that team this season and should get consideration for 'Coach of the Year'.
Well, that is enough of my nonsense for this evening. I wish you all a pleasant evening.

King Finds Note

After reading the comment left by Santa on my last blog I looked around my tree for the note that he said that he left. Well I found it buried in the middle of the tree. No wonder I did not see it. Here is what the note said:
"Merry Christmas Dingle!! To make my job a bit easier I put you on my delayed gift list since what I am giving you will not be needed by you until spring. Being a good friend I knew that you would understand. I am getting old and whatever I can do to make things a bit easier during my work night will help. I will be making another flight to all those on the delayed list on February 29th so feel free to leave your tree up until then. Thank you for your patience and understanding. Ho, ho ho, Santa"
Well, as everyone who knows me will attest, patience is not one of my strong suits, though I have been getting better lately. But I guess I can wait until the 29th of February for my goodies. I hope that they will be worth waiting for and not more cans of nuts. But knowing my luck I will get more nuts and a copy of "Trannys with Knives". OMG!!

Santa Stiffs Your King!!

Well, I woke up this morning hoping to find a few nice goodies under my tree but nooooo. From the expanse of empty space under my tree it looks like someone pretty much forgot your King. I knew that 2011 was a very bad year for the Kingdom of Moronica but this confirms it. I did get a couple of things though. Santa left me two cans of nuts. NUTS?!?! Is Santa trying to tell me something or what? He also left me the crappy sci-fi movie called 'Congo'. CONGO??? What in hell did I do to deserve that??? I am a good and benevolent king. I try to do the best for my kingdom and what do I get? Nuts and 'Congo'. I really thought Santa was my good friend. We always have a good chat when we speak to each other on the blower(phone for you non-Brits) but to get just salted nuts and 'Congo' leaves me flabbergasted. 'Congo'? Is Santa trying to tell me that I look like an ape? Well, way back in the old days when I was a semi-athlete and played soccer, my friends said I looked like a big gorilla so they stuck me in goal but that was many years ago. Nuts? I like salted nuts but I can go to the store and buy them myself. I really did not expect to get nuts on Christmas. Obviously my wish list got lost by the U.S. Postal Service when I sent it in. No wonder they are in such dire straights but I digress. I should give Santa a call and say 'what the hey?' but he only just finished his big job and should be now getting ready to leave for his month long trip to the Bahamas so I will be nice and not bother him. Knowing my luck, if I do call the big guy, he will get ticked off and not even leave me nuts next year. So, I guess, I will just suck it up and eat my nuts while watching 'Congo'.
So, even with the stiffing I got last night, I still want to wish all of my royal subjects and friends a very Merry Christmas. I hope you all got what you wanted and then some. Enjoy!!

Merry Christmas from the King of Moronica

I want to wish all of my loyal readers and subjects a very Merry Christmas. It was a tough year in Moronica but Christmas is the time of year to put crappola on the back burner and be positive about life. So please have a safe and Merry Christmas. So says King Dinglefritz I, Ruler of Moronica.

King Receives Thanks for Vital Warning

A couple of my valued readers spoke with your King regarding my vital warning in yesterday's post. Thanks to my warning their brains will not be rotted by, what possibly may be, the worst sci fi movie since 'Plan Nine From Outer Space". Actually Ed Wood's movie is much better than the SyFy tripe that I warned about yesterday.  It is obvious that the script was written by a fourth grader for his english project and he/she received a failing grade for it.
I am still trying to figure out why SyFy can justify putting out mindless crap like that for their big Saturday Night movie. Even Mr. Hankey smells better than 'Earth's Final Hours'. It is a shame that I had to take one for the team and watched this crap so I could deliver my warning.
Oh well, It is time for a Mr. Hankey Christmas on the Comedy Channel so I will finish this little post for tonight. If I happen to catch another movie that is totally unwatchable and moronic I will do my bit and warn you all, my valued readers. Have a pleasant evening.

Your King Delivers a Vital Warning!!!

This past Saturday I happened unto what is probably one of the most moronic movies that I have ever seen in my life and I have seen plenty of them. I missed the first half hour and I consider myself lucky. This clunker of a movie is called 'Earth's Final Hours' and it was on the SyFy channel. It was one of those SyFy originals that they made for five bucks. This time they spent the five bucks, which goes nowhere near as far as it used to, on the special effects because nothing was spent on the script or any thinking that went into the script. Somehow, someway the Earth's rotation got stopped in a matter of hours by some kind of 'white hole' that passed through the earth. It stopped the Earth's rotation which stopped the Earth's magnetic field from working. Hmm, the last I knew it was the spinning of the Earth's molten outer core over our solid inner core that provided our magnetic field. But, thanks to a CIA agent, his partner, his son and his son's girlfriend they managed to save the world. It just so happened that many years ago this scientist, put away into a nut farm by the CIA, had managed to have placed by NASA two satellites for just such an emergency to save the whole world. And boy do these satellites move fast as they moved halfway around the world in seconds to get into position to do the needful later in the movie. The son managed to get control of this scientists assistant's computer, which was conveniently hidden, hooked up and ready to go but used language that was obsolete, in a matter of seconds as he managed to use a program that found the password. WOW!!! How amazing is it that the kid can handle an obsolete computer language but CIA scientists trying to take control of the two satellites from their hi tech control room couldn't.  But the CIA did not want to save the world, just the USA part of it so after the good CIA agent broke the 'loony' scientist out of the nut farm the bad CIA agents managed to shoot the scientist as he was escaping BUT, as he was croaking he managed to get all the info out that was needed to find the hidden satellite control setup and other crap to the good CIA agent. Well, after the scientist died the good guys pulled right into the satellite control place so the timing there couldn't be worse for the poor Earth. They then start the process of saving the world but the bad CIA agents find them and moronica ensues. With a split second left, and with the bad CIA boss guy whacking away at their satellite dish with a rod, why he did not pull out the wires just baffles me, they manage to trigger the satellites into action which, of course, starts the earth spinning again and saving everyone. There were a lot of other moronic things that happened in this movie but I would sprain my typing fingers if I tried to list them all.
I know that this movie review is helter skelter all over the place but that is all this movie deserves. Now that I have gotten this crappy movie out of my system I will try to delete its memory from my mind. I hope this review will spare someone from ever having to watch this piece of crap and suffer like I did so I can consider it my good deed of the day. But if you do want to watch 'Earth's Final Hours' please park your brain in neutral or turn it off completely or you will be agonized. You have been warned.

King Kraps on Buffalo Sports Redux

1) Well, the Bills lost again. Every week it is looking like a bigger and bigger mistake for the Bills in giving Quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick that contract extension. He just plain sucks right now. The Bill's defense is holier than a catholic mass. Spiller is starting to get yards but Coach Gailey does not want to give him the ball much. He had twelve carries for ninety one yards but I guess seven and a half yards per carry was not good enough. Gailey must think it is more fun watching Fitzpatrick throw interceptions. Now, in the middle of the season I thought one good draft might just put them on the road to the playoffs but that thought has long since been deleted from my mind. It is too bad that the game against Denver will probably be blacked out. I would have loved to see Denver's game plan against the Bills. Tebow and McGehee will probably run wild. If Tebow throws the ball more than ten times I will be shocked.
2) Your King tried to watch the Sabres game against the Pittsburgh Penguins this past Saturday. I knew what the result was going to be after Miller whiffed on that shot from the blue line early in the first. After two more goals and Miller being replaced by Enroth I had had enough. I did what any normal person would do and plugged in a good movie about mutated ants. "Them!" was a classic from the mid-fifties and I enjoyed it. After the movie was over I went back to the game. It was 8-3 at that point and I was figuring that owner Terry Pegula would probably love to feed his team to those mutant ants. They play as if they have tuned out Coach Ruff, injuries notwithstanding. I have never been a fan of Mindy Ruff and I feel that his time has past. Boy, how I wish they could have brought in Ken Hitchcock before he was snapped up by St. Louis. And Ken is doing a marvelous job there at this time. MSG is threatening to pull its programming off the air on Time Warner cable on January 1st. That means we would not be able to watch the Sabres and at this time I feel MSG would be doing us a favor.
3) Is there any bigger pig in this world, and reason for the death penalty, than the totally disgusting Richard Dallas of Wayne County New York?? This pervert sexually abused a nine month old baby girl. Only emergency surgery saved this baby's life and she will have to endure even more surgeries thanks to this pigs actions. This ass deserves the death penalty for what he has done to this baby. I can only hope that when he is sentenced that he is put into the prison's general population because, while they may be convicts, they have a code of ethics and will give this pig what he deserves. Hopefully a one way ticket to hell. Even Satan probably would not want this ass in hell. I hope this pig rots.
4) Why are we continuing the ridiculous embargo of Cuba? For crying out loud we fought a war with Vietnam and we now have decent diplomatic relations with them. The way to derail Cuba's regime is to open up trade with them. Hell, we opened up trade with China and now they are better capitalists than we are. It is time we drop the embargo and move forward. The really tiny baby steps that Raul Castro is making now could be made larger with open diplomatic relations with the Cuban government. The thing is that Cuba has never really experienced a government by democracy. Before Fidel Castro there was General Batista who was a right wing strongman that we supported. Opening relations will improve the flow of democratic principles into that country. Cubans will see what the real world is like and will want a piece of the action. Hey, it can't hurt.
5) It is now December 19th and we have only had about two inches of snow this winter season. Last year at this time we had forty five inches. I feel for the skiers but I would not mind going through an entire winter like this. After last year's nightmare we deserve a year off and it would have been an even bigger nightmare if the main storm track hadn't shifted of us for a bit late in that winter. We still received plenty of lake snow late season but the real storms pummeled other areas. There was a storm that pummeled Chicago, just ask the Weather Channel's Jim Cantore who was there, and was headed in our direction but it petered out by the time it reached us despite a winter storm warning posted here for it. Even Alaska is not as cold as it usually is at this time of year. Could it be global warming?? It is a distinct possibility though the nation's republicans call global warming a bunch of bull shazit. It is amazing that a topic like this has become a partisan football but hey, that is our divided nation in inaction. Ugh.
Well I have had enough typing for tonight. This is your King wishing for you to have a pleasant evening.

WAIT!!! By popular demand I am bringing back an old royal mumbling from December 2010 for a replay. I hope you enjoy it as it is still relevant as we, the people, are about to get screwed royally by the House Republicans. Thank you Mr. Speaker of the House Boehner.
2) Well we got our tax bill signed despite the best efforts of the GOP to keep this stalled until their millionaire and billionaire buddies got their cuts too. This bill also had relief for the unemployed as it extended their benefits but the GOP held out. Here is an 'interview' with Senator Mitch McConnell-R, Kentucky courtesy of the Moronica AP:

"Senator, why are you holding up the bill for tax relief for the poor and middle class and assistance for the unemployed?"
"We are not supporting this bill until they include tax relief for my millionaire and billionaire supporters. Those poor souls need it too."
"But Mr. McConnell, what about the poor and unemployed who really need this relief to survive?"
"Are there no prisons? Are the workhouses out of business?"
"Sir, the prisons are full of convicted criminals and all of the workhouses are now in India and China."
"Harrumph. This interview is over."
He then stormed away from our reporter. Senator Harry Reid was heard mumbling as he walked by: "At least we now know what GOP stands for: Greed Over the Poor." (Remember, my GOP friends, that this is just a blog of moronica)

King Impressed! And Speaks up on Vladimir Putin

Well, for shazit and giggles I checked my stats for my stupid blog for the past week and I am really impressed. It seems my audience for my reports on moronic things is worldwide. It really puts a smile on my face to see this and I thank all of my readers worldwide. This past week alone I had a lot of visits to my site from my friends in China and my friends in Russia rank as number three on the list of viewers. While the numbers are still not as strong as I would like it does make me want to work harder to put out an entertaining read for my readers. Especially lately with moronic things happening everywhere in this world it is a shame that I do tend to stay rather local with my posts. (The Buffalo Bills, and lately the Sabres, provide me with so much good material it is just too hard to resist)
To honor my friends all over this planet I will try, on occasion, to make my posts a bit more worldly so today I will comment on Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin, soon to be running for president again, having his moronic stooges stuff the ballot boxes in the recent parliamentary elections in his country so his band of thugs can remain in power. Even with the stuffing the numbers were very poor for him as his party just barely kept their majority in the Russian Parliament. Now, in a real democracy the people should have a real choice of who they want to represent them but when people who have power want to stay in power you can have issues. Mr. Putin claims that Russia has a special brand of democracy. What does he mean by that? It seems in his special brand of democracy he gets to stay in power almost as long as Stalin did and all of his opponents in presidential elections either end up getting arrested or muzzled. Lately the Russian people have been protesting Mr. Putin and his party as it looks like they really want to have a choice, for a change, as to who to vote for in the next presidential election. It is pretty moronic that when you see the ballot for president you see only Vladimir Putin's name. Now that is some choice.
What is really moronic is that Mr. Putin has already had his two terms as president but, according to the Russian Constitution, he can now run again after having his buddy Medvedev keep his seat warm for him. You cannot do that in America or Bill Clinton could have ran against George Bush back in 2004, and he probably would have won. This prevents someone from gathering too much power and allows the import of fresh ideas into the government. Mr. Putin believes right now that he IS Russia but the people there seem to be rebelling a bit against that line of thinking lately. Maybe they want a real choice for a change. Maybe they want a real democracy and not Mr. Putin's idea of a democracy. One for all and all for Putin should not fly in the next Russian Presidential election. They are a good people and deserving of a good government by the people and for the people. They suffered for too long under the heavy thumb of communism and the concept of freedom that sprang up under Boris Yeltsin should continue to grow and not stagnate. The world needs a strong and democratic Russia. Mr. Putin has had his time as president and he should step aside and allow a real democracy to grow. If Russia's next president decides that he is a fine Prime Minister and should remain in that position then so be it. But it seems that after the next election Putin and Medvedev will just switch positions. That is highly moronic. Again, the good Russian people deserve a real choice and not a sham choice. They deserve a leader that gets the most real votes and not from ballot stuffing by stooges.
Well, that is my 'worldly' post for tonight seeing that I have friends around the world that partake in my Blog of Moronica. I wish all of my friends, even Vladimir Putin, a pleasant evening.

Your King Kraps on Buffalo Sports and Other Things

1) Ryan Fitzpatrick of the Buffalo Bills has become the Anti-Sampson. The longer his beard grows the worse he gets. The thing about Sampson was that his hair gave him strength. Ryan's growing face of hair must be getting so heavy that it is affecting his passing by keeping his head off balance. If I were his team mates I would bind him with tape and cut that silly beard off. It was funny last year but it has now worn out its welcome. The Bills are paying this moron almost sixty million dollars over the next six years for him to be their quarterback. Well, ever since he signed that contract he has played like crappola. It must be catching as all of the Buffalo Sabres that have signed big contracts play like crap now but I digress and will discuss that later. The Bills need to hire Delilah and soon to shave Ryan's puss before the Bills sink any further. It is all the beard's fault.
2) Speaking of the Buffalo Sabres is there any team that plays as bad as they do in their home rink? I must hate myself as I continue to torture myself by watching this team play home games on the tube. I know that I do have the option of pressing the channel buttons to go somewhere else but I have been a Sabres fan since they drafted Gilbert Perreault with their first draft pick back in 1970. It does get to the point, at times, where I do change the channel but I always end up going back to the game. Maybe I should see an analyst for this. What really drives me nuts is that they play great on the road. They really do but when they put on the home jerseys they turn into the Washington Generals of hockey. They finally have an owner in Terry Pegula with deep pockets that wants to see this team win a cup but I really feel sorry for Terry. The players he is stuck with have no heart. The visiting teams skate at First Niagara Center with a chip on their shoulders because they know that if they do they have a great chance of leaving the city with two points. The Sabres have to start playing with some heart and knock that chip off the visiting team's shoulders. Man, they had a three goal lead on Philadelphia last week at home and still lost the game. I remember watching that thinking there will be some way for these idiots to give the game back to Philly. Boy was I right as Philly scored with one second left in the first period and after I saw that I knew the Flyers would beat them. The team is a huge disappointment at this time.
3) Is there anything more annoying than some of those WalMart Christmas commercials that have been airing lately? Ring-a-ding Ring-a-ding ring me up??? OMG I think I am going to puke. Even though that cute sales girl in that particular commercial does remind me of a young Goldie Hawn I am still going to vomit. WalMart, please take the moronica out of your commercials, please, please please!!!
4) Tim Tebow has made the Denver Broncos relevant again. I actually gave some brief thought about possibly going to the game in Buffalo next weekend to see him. But, after checking the Moronican treasury, that will not happen. There is nothing there, pretty much thanks to my ex-queen, at this time and I am hoping to get my foreign aid from the U. S. government in March to help stabilize the economy of my realm but again I digress. How many comebacks does this guy have left in his pocket. I thought the Miami comeback was amazing but the comeback against the Bears was even more impressive, though the Bear's  running back Marion Barber did display ample moronica in helping the Broncs.
5) Here is another weak edition of 'If they Only Had Twitter'. This time we will look at the twitter feed of Thomas E. Dewey on that fateful day back in November 1948. (Certain parts will be censored for my younger readers)
9:12 am - Thomas Dewey - Presidential candidate - "Looking forward to this day. Polls in my favor. I feel good about today!"
5:02 pm - Dewey - "Just cast my vote, things looking really good according to the polls. I can't wait for the results to be tallied up."
10:17 pm - Dewey - "First results looking great. Looks like I will be moving into the big house!!"
2:15 am - Dewey - "OMG. The first edition of the morning paper says in big letters 'DEWEY WINS!!'. YES!!! Time to get a good sleep so I can craft my winning speech."
8:17 a.m. Dewey - "OMG. I lost, I f-----g lost. I went to bed a winner and I f-----g lost. What happened to 'DEWEY WINS!!'??? I cannot believe I f-----g lost!"
So went a 24 four hour span in the twitter life of Thomas E. Dewey, if he only had twitter.
Well that is enough crap for today. Not a bad effort in getting two posts done in one day. Now it is time to relax and let my typing fingers rest. They have earned it. This is your King wishing you a great evening!!

Your King on Genesee Beer

No, your King is not going to partake in the swizzling of it but a discussion of what the Brewery wants to do with a piece of its property. The company that owns the Genesee Brewery wants to demolish the building at 13 Cataract to build a museum with a restaurant that will have a great view of the falls. Well, the Landmark Society wants to put a kibosh on the wishes of the Brewery. Supposedly this place is some kind of a historical landmark and they do not want it demolished. Well, maybe it is but, after viewing the Channel Thirteen tour of the place, it is more of a dump than a landmark. It is a cruddily designed building that is falling apart and the Landmark Society wants to saddle the Brewery with this piece of crap. It has been said that it would take eight million dollars just to get it up to code, not even mentioning the museum or restaurant. There is a very poor view of the falls from the windows of the building and soon, if left to its own devices, it will demolish itself. It is just plain moronic that anyone would even want to preserve this piece of crap. What Genesee wants to do is to demolish this clunker and build a new building. What Genesee should do is to create a building designed with a historic look to it. It has been done before so why not now. The City Fathers talk about revitalizing the downtown area but when Genesee wants to demolish this piece of crap some dopey group of moronic people say 'oh no, you cannot do that!!! Its historic!'. What is so historic about this clunker? It was built in 1889, not 1689. There have been plenty of buildings built in 1889 that have been razed for progress. While I am for preserving history this clunker does not deserve the attention it is getting. It should be razed and Genesee should be allowed to proceed with its plans to put something nice there. Something that will draw people downtown. Isn't that what the city of Rochester wants?? I say let it be razed. So let it be written, so let it be done.

Moronica in Rhode Island

While reading today's newspaper your King was bemused by the attempt of Lincoln Chaffee's, Governor of Rhode Island, attempt to be, as they say, politically correct. He did this by calling the state's Christmas Tree the 'Holiday Tree'. Whoa Nellie did that start a chain reaction. Never in my life have I ever heard a Christmas Tree being called a Holiday tree. The lawmakers of the state, along with the state's catholics, were incensed at this. In protest carolers gathered at the State House to sing "O Christmas Tree" to spite the Governor.
It is getting to the point where people are carrying this 'holiday' crap a bit to far. The bloody thing is a Christmas Tree and nothing else. Not a Holiday Tree, not a Kwanza tree, not an End of December Tree but a Christmas tree. Calling it a Holiday Tree was a deep step into the world of Moronica no matter what the Governor's intentions were. This thing called 'political correctness' is starting to get on your King's nerves. When it is time for me to wish all of my readers a Merry Christmas that is what I am going to say. You will not see me say Happy Holidays. Since when do we ever hear Santa saying Happy Holidays???? It is always 'Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas'. Your King says ENOUGH ALREADY with this crap!!! Lincoln Chaffee is a total moron.

More Kingly Krappola

Well, I had planned on coming back and writing some more garbage after my break by I just had to watch the Detroit Lions lose to the Saints. You can't blame Matt Stafford of Detroit for the loss as he had the Lions moving well all night but there are too many immature boobs on that Lions team. Too many stupid penalties, usually after a big play, doomed the Lions. When they finally grow up look out for that team as they will be formidable.
1) I apologize to my Muslim friends but I just have to say something about what I read that occurred in Afghanistan recently. It really pissed me off as to how women are treated by fundamental islamists. It turns out that a woman had received a twelve year prison sentence because she had pre-marital sex. The only reason she had the sex was that she was raped, yes raped, but she was still convicted and sent to prison. The oh so benevolent President Karzai decided to commute her sentence but there was a caveat...she had to marry the rapist. Can you believe that??? Talk about a backwards society where a man that rapes a woman can walk away free as a bird while the woman now ends up serving what will turn out to be a lifetime sentence...time in prison and the rest of her life with the rapist. Wow, and we have soldiers over there defending that country so crap like that can continue. Amazing.
2) I continue to not shop on "Black Friday' for a variety of reasons, first of which is that I hate crowds and would prefer to maintain my sanity. But the greed shown by people out shopping that day amazes me. The most incredibly moronic display of this was were some woman pepper sprayed her way through Walmart just to get an XBox. Numerous robberies, fights and shootings marred what was a bright spot for our economy as spending was above what was expected. Still it is truly embarrassing to see what moronic ends people will go to to save a few bucks on some electronic gizmo.
3) Your King played a lot of golf this first weekend of December. I have never played in the month of December before but the weather was nice enough, though I did freeze my ass off early in my round on Saturday, to get in thirty six holes. It was great exercise as I walked the course each day. I can feel my legs and back getting stronger as with each outing I suffered less and less as the round came to an end. It is just what the doctor ordered. I just have to keep it up now that it looks like the season is finally over. Nothing really spectacular about my rounds though at the end of Sunday's round my putter and I finally got on speaking terms again. From hole thirteen on I was making some nice putts. My thirty foot bomb on fourteen was worth a birdie and definitely put a smile on my face that was sorely lacking after butchering too many holes early on. Still, bad golf beats doing nothing.
4) It was good to see Ryan Miller back in goal for the Sabres this past Saturday against Nashville. While Jhonas Enroth did a workman like job in his place he is no Miller. Ryan looked great and made a save in the third period that amazed everyone. Even the guy running the goal spotlight thought it was a sure goal for the Predators that he shined his light down moments after the save. Ryan, and the Sabres, showed that they are not going to take crap anymore. Miller got bowled over by Jordin Tootoo in the second period and in the matter of a second Miller and two other Sabres were on top of him pounding him senseless. It was good to see and we need to see more of that to show that the Sabres cannot be bullied.
Well that is enough nonsense for tonight. The dishes are ready to be washed and it is now time to relax. This is your King wishing you a pleasant evening.

Kingly Krappola

Lots of moronic stuff to write about today so let us get to it.
1) I am so sick of hearing about Kim Kardashian. This woman is one of the biggest morons there is. Why she is famous is beyond me. It must come from her dad, who helped represent O.J. Simpson and got him off scott free when all of the evidence pointed to guilt, but I digress. Kim's sham marriage to NBA player Kris Humphrey was a joke. She ranks right up there with Paris Hilton in terms of moronic females who should not ever be seen or even heard from. Humphreys is now trying to get that sham marriage to that ditz annulled. I wish him luck and hope he did not catch any diseases from that skank during his time with her.
2) We had a 'Heidi Bowl' moment today as I was watching the Minnesota vs. Denver football game. I was actually enjoying watching Tim Tebow work. He may have the funkiest throwing motion in the NFL but it is getting the job done right now. With ninety seconds left in the game, and Denver just tying the game, and with it looking like it was going to go to overtime the network switched to the Giants vs. Packers game. I was beside myself. We then had to suffer through five minutes of commercials, of which don't we see enough of during the bloody game, before the opening kickoff of the Packers game I missed whatever happened in the last ninety seconds that led Denver to get the ball back and kick the winning field goal. I remember that Oakland vs the Jets game and the dreaded Heidi show and I think a network should stay with a game until its conclusion. While the Giants-Packers game was indeed great missing the kickoff and the first few minutes would not have killed me in order to see the exciting finish of the Denver game. Just plain moronica in its finest.
3) Is there a bigger moron running for president than Michelle Bachmann?? First of all the United States has always been one to parade human rights and freedoms around the world. But I guess if you do not toe her line of thinking you don't get those rights. In Iowa the other day a high school asked this idiot why same sex couples in most states don't have the right to marry, Bachmann responded "They can get married....They can marry a man if they're a woman, or they can marry a woman if they're a man."  There are millions of our gay friends in this country and this response was an insult to them and shows that she is completely off her rocker. If we are going to be a nation that champions human rights we should be championing them for all humans, not just humans that toe Bachmann's distorted way of thinking. If we are not going to represent all humans in terms of rights then we, as a country, should keep our mouths shut and out of other country's business.
4) I, for one, applaud the cell phone and the new texting while driving law in the state of New York but it does not seem to stop people from doing it. This past weekend, going to and fro on the expressway, I saw numerous people offending this law and it scares me. For example, on Saturday one ditzy broad, yes most were female that were in violation, was driving a missile, which is what I will call her vehicle, at about seventy mph all the while with one of those contemptible hand held devices in her face reading whatever was just sent to her. How can you concentrate on the road when you are busy trying to read what your BFF just sent you?? The State Police had a crackdown on this recently and they handed out plenty of tickets but more needs to be done. These hand held devices are a menace to all drivers on the road. Too many people are hurt and even killed by accidents involving people whose driving is being distracted. They should invent a device that, when a car is in operation on a road, that prevents reception by said device until the car is pulled off the road and turned off. What is so important that you have to risk the life and limbs of others just to read your text?? Just leave the DAMN thing off until you reach your destination!!!
I have more to write about but I need a break. Until my return.

Your King is on the Mend

I have kept it pretty quiet but your King has had some nasty tendinitis in his left thumb. It became quite painful during leaf raking season and has not let up. I would rest my left hand on my lap when driving and still pain would radiate from the thumb joint. Well I had had enough so this past Tuesday I visited my Royal Hand doctor, who happens to be one of the best in the Rochester area, and she diagnosed me with a badly inflamed trigger thumb. Considering that I do not even own a gun I was baffled, trigger thumb?? I guess that is just another name for serious tendinitis. It did not take long for her to diagnose it, as she must have seen this a million times, and she then gave me a shot of cortisone right into the joint. She said this had a fifty-fifty chance of working but since my thumb was so inflamed it would probably have a better chance of working. Well, it has been two days and the pain in my thumb is about ninety percent gone. The tendon is still a tad tight but seems to be loosening up a bit more as time progresses which is increasing my range of pain free motion so it looks like I may avoid the minor surgery it would have taken to fix it manually. I guess I should be expecting more of this as I gracefully age. Oh the joys of growing old. This is your King saying, 'Stay young my friends!!'

Royal Droppings and Your King Kraps on Stevie Johnson

1) The Buffalo Bills' wide receiver Stevie Johnson's contract is up at the end of the season. He has been squawking that he wants to be paid like a big time receiver. Well, after watching yesterday's debacle and looking back at last year's Bills-Steelers game the Bills had better not pay him like one. Yesterday was the second game where he single handedly cost the Bills a victory. His antics in the endzone after a TD and his key clanks with his hands of stone show that he is NOT a big time receiver. If I were Buddy Nix, at the contract talks with Stevie's agent after the season, I would hand his agent a contract and then show him tape of Stevie's fine drop against the Steelers in OT, his antics after the touchdown with a focus on the penalty flag, the results of the following kickoff thanks to that penalty and his big clank with thirty seconds left that really cost the Bills the game. After that Buddy should say you can either sign that contract or take a hike, personally I would like to see Mr. Johnson hit the road. As I have said before receivers of Stevie's ilk are a dime a dozen and he is certainly not worth the big time bucks he will probably demand from the Bills at the end of the year. Money that should be spent on a nice three year contract for Fred Jackson. What I would like to see, if numbnuts scores another touchdown for the Bills this season, is for him to hand the ball to the ref, accept congrats from his team mates and trot off the field like someone with a bit of maturity. But I doubt that will ever happen with Ol' hands of stone, Mr. Showboat Stevie Johnson.
2) Your King played bonus golf this weekend. On Friday I went to Bristol Harbour for the first time and, even though my putter went on strike, had a good time. Had a few good shots but played a rather ordinary round. My four iron from out of the fairway bunker on three to the fringe of the green was my highlight of the day. The back nine there was very interesting with a couple of holes that rank among the prettiest that I have ever played. On Saturday my usual group got together and played at Livingston. Again, if I could putt, I would have had a good round but it was an average score with your King hitting his point total right on the nose. But scoring was good that day and I ended up fifth and, probably, done for the season. The next weekend is in December and while the weekend looks like it will be nice it will be very cold with highs around forty. If I couldn't putt with temps in the mid fifties I can only imagine how bad I would be with the temps that much colder. But it was a fun season and the most I have golfed in season for a long, long time.
3) A friend, okay my ex queen, requested that I make her a pot of clam chowder this Sunday, or I would have bored your with a Sunday golf report too. I do not know what happened but this batch was one of the best I had ever made. It was perfection. I told my ex queen that I will keep this batch and make her another but she vetoed that idea. Since she was willing to buy most of the ingredients for it I broke down and agreed to make it for her. Even though I cannot putt I can still cook. At least that will get me through this, soon to be arriving, long winter.
4) In this lame segment of 'If they only had Twitter' we look at a twitter day in the life of famous football coach Vince Lombardi.
4:17pm - Vince Lombardi - Coach - "Big game tomorrow, told guys they had a ten o'clock curfew and had better be in bed by then. Will do a quick check after curfew."
11:15pm - Vince L. - " Caught Max McGee sneaking back in after curfew. Fined him $500 on the spot. Told him the next time the fine will be $1,000. Also told him if there was something that was worth a $1,000 fine to get me and I would go with him."
3:11am - Vince L. - "Still with Max at the nudie bar. Just ran out of dollar bills from the grand that I got from Max. Next time I will get a bigger fine from Max and have more fun."
While I cannot imagine Vince going to the nudie bar after curfew with Max, it has to be said that Max McGee was quite the character with the Packers in the 1960's.
Well that is enough crap from the mind of your King today. Nothing like a day off from work to get a few things done that you cannot get done during a weekend along with writing this bull crap. This is your King wishing you a great day!

Happy Thanksgiving from Your King

This is your King wishing a Happy Thanksgiving to all.
May all of your tummies be full and your football watching be uninterrupted. Have a safe holiday.

Yours,
King Dinglefritz of Moronica

Royal Droppings

1) Adding a bit more garbage about my trip to see the Rochester Lancers play this past Saturday I had to laugh and laugh watching coach Billy Andracki of the Lancers during the game. I swear that he was going to burst an aneurysm during the first half as he was constantly hollering at the refs and deservedly so. You could see the veins bulging out on his bald head. The refs were pretty bad that game and almost lost control of it. Andracki was smart and sat Rey Martinez for most of the second half or there may have been a riot. Martinez played a pretty chippy first half but it was fun.
2) Sydney Crosby finally returned to the ice tonight. He is the gifted center for the Pittsburgh Penguins and after one period he has a goal and an assist. At this rate he should be back to where he should be as the league's top scorer by December 10.
3) I thought the Bills two prior games were bad but this past Sunday's game against the Miami Dolphins took the cake. The Bills were absolutely pathetic. Ever since Fitzpatrick signed the new contract he has been El Stinko. But then again, he had plenty of company in that category during the game. Runners who could not run, receivers who could not catch and a defense that makes a kitchen sieve look solid. At the peak of their run I still figured 8-8 would be a good record but I cannot even see them winning another game right now. Too many injuries and a lack of talent are killing them. But, they are still my team.
4) My royal niece is on her way, well she should be there by now since she left yesterday, to Europe for ten days. Where were trips like these when I was a kid? Kids nowadays have everything. If I had the soccer programs back in my day that they have today I think I could have become one hell of a goalie, or even a field player but I never got the chance. All I had was 'summer soccer' for a few weeks where we would just pick up teams and kick the crap out of the ball. No coaching was involved but it got us out of our parents hair for a couple of hours. Oh to be a kid again instead of the crabby, old fart King that I have become.
5) Okay. Here is the next installment of 'If they only had Twitter'. This one probably is el stinko as I really haven't sat and thought about these episodes much lately but it is mostly moronic, like me. Let us go back sixty five million years ago and see a day in the twitter life of Tyrannosaurus Rex:
7:15am - Tyrannosaurus Rex - "Another day, another triceratops to try to find, kill and eat. Time to go to work!"
10:27am - T-Rex - "Good news!! I can take the rest of the day off!!! My mate bagged a Brontosaurus for dinner. I would give her a hug but my arms are too short."
2:19pm - T-Rex - "Bronto was great. Mate is giving me the twinkling eye. I think I know what she wants....time to pay her for the dinner. Wink. Wink."
5:39pm - T-Rex - " Big bright light in the sky going overhead."
5:43pm - T-Rex - "What the hell was that.??? Knocked me off my feet. Oh crap!!! what is that heading this wa...."
Well, what started out to be a good day in the life of Mr. T-Rex did not end so well as we would have found out if they only had Twitter in the time of the dinosaurs.
So ends another moronic blog from the mind of your King. Have a pleasant evening.

Your King Attends Rochester Lancer Game and Other Things

Believe it or not your King dragged his ass, incognito of course, out of Moronica last night to go see Rochester's newest indoor soccer team play the Syracuse Silver Knights at the Blue Cross Arena. One of the attractions was that they inducted several members of the old Lancer outdoor team from the seventies into the wall of fame. It was good to see Dragan Popovic, Branko Segota and others back. Dragan was probably the greatest soccer coach that any Rochester soccer team ever had and that includes Pat Ercoli of the Rhinos.
The game turned out to be a lot of fun to watch. It was fast paced and there was plenty of scoring. The Lancers jumped out to a big halftime lead with a balanced attack. In the second half Syracuse tried to whittle away at the lead and actually made a game of it late in the fourth quarter but the Lancers put the game away with a couple of late goals and won the game 22-13. All in all it was quite entertaining and it would have been nicer to see a few more fannies in the seats but the crowd size was pretty much as I expected. I wish them luck.

I had a good chuckle reading the sports page of the Buffalo News this morning and I have to relay a quote from the Hockey section that made me laugh. It was by former goon Georges Laraque from his days with the Edmonton Oilers. He definitely shows his disdain for country music here. "All they talk about is 'I left my girlfriend and she left me or my horse is dying.' How can you get revved up for a game listening to crap like that?" That reminded your King of the two plus years he spent in Utah. Every station was country and the radios in the warehouse were all tuned to KKAT, the biggest local country station in the Salt Lake area. OMG that drove me nuts and that is the reason I spent most of my time in the freezer, to get away from crap like that. Georges Laraque is a kindred soul!!

Yesterday's blog said I survived, Well, I went to bed last night feeling quite good but when waking up this morning I truly felt my age. I was stiffer than a board but I really did not hurt, much. I guess that is sort of a good sign so maybe it is time to ramp up the exercise. The next weekend looks like there will be more bonus golf as the temperature looks to be well into the fifties again. This is helping to make up for the rotten spring we had here and also helping me not to miss bowling. I am surely done doing that and am looking for a way to ditch my equipment. I would love to drop my balls into either the canal or the river or by dropping them into the gorge at Letchworth Park but knowing my luck someone will report me. My friend Auggie took one of his balls and cooked it in a bonfire. Maybe I will do that to one of them in my fire pit. That would be a hoot.
Well that is all for today my friends. If you have a chance to go to a Lancer game do it. It is a good time. Until my next spouting of garbage I wish all of my friends and readers a fine day!!

Your King Survives!!!! Barely.

Well, your King did decide to go golfing today and it was bonus golf as the season is officially over at the Country Club. I had only planned on playing nine holes as the riding carts have been stored for the season. Being a King I needed to use the riding carts as I have the curse of royalty. I am a touch fat and lazy...just look at Henry VIII for example. It is not just being a little fat and lazy but your King does not have the world's best back as it does not take much to incite a flareup of my bulging disc. Still that did not deter me from trying to play today.
As I said I had only planned on playing nine holes as I felt I could handle the walk and for the most part it went very well so I decided to play the second nine. I felt good enough at the turn and said 'lets do it' for the back nine. The last two holes were tough as my feet and neck got a bit sore but I survived. I ended up shooting a 93, which is in my normal range of scoring. I had opportunities to score on the front nine. I had a twenty five foot eagle putt on six, after a great drive and a brilliant five iron to the green but I had no touch with the putter all day and that sucked. I left that stupid putt four feet short and it was perfectly on line, and then, moronically, missed my birdie putt. I had a few other opportunities for birds but, again, I sucked at putting. Oh well it was still fun and it turned out for the best that I did not enter the little tourney that we usually play amongst us.
I definitely plan on working this off season to strengthen my back muscles, and lose some weight, as I would much rather walk the course. Riding the cart blows and I am sick and tired of feeling feeble. Exercise is where it is at and I got a load of it today. I will probably be a bit stiff for the next couple of days but it will be a good stiff....from a workout.
Your King is hoping to go to see the Rochester Lancers indoor soccer team tonight. I have always loved to watch soccer and it is good to have the Lancers back. I used to watch the Lancer's outdoor team back in the late '70s and enjoyed it greatly. Watching stars like Mike Stojanovic, Pele, Franz Beckenbauer and others play was enjoyable. Even at that potato patch called Holleder Stadium you felt like you were right on top of the action. So many memories, especially the one where they packed 20,005 fans into that place. My car had the extra five fans. Now that was a memory seeing that place overflowing with folks.
Oh well that is enough nonsense for today. It is sad that I make my poor readers, all one or two of you, suffer through my golf misadventures but hey, that is what blogging is all about. After reading some of the nonsense on other blogs mine is not so bad, and no Repoman, I am not talking about the nonsense, I mean, political writings of yours as you usually make a good point - For example your pontification about Mark McIntee was spot on. Gates is in great hands and I am glad that Moronica is located in the Town of Gates. Every once in a while I will bebop to others blogs to see what other people have to say. A lot of it is inane but again they enjoy writing it.
OMG, another paragraph after I was about to sign off?? The adrenalin must be flowing from all that, much needed, exercise today. Well I am signing off now. This is your King wishing you a pleasant evening!!!

Krap from your King

1) We had our first real snow last night. It was only a coating but it forewarns us of what is down the road. Still, your King will try to play a little golf tomorrow. It is supposed to be rather nice out so why not and early reports for next weekend say it is going to be rather mild again. I will try to walk nine holes and with my back that will be an adventure. I hope to strengthen it over the winter so I can walk 18 all of the time. It is more fun and better for you. Riding the cart blows.
2) Your King has appointed a Royal Major Domo for the realm of Moronica. The appointee is a very wise and articulate person who will represent Moronica well. While I am not at liberty to announce his/her name this person is an excellent addition to my staff. Now to see if I can find a new queen.  That may be a tad harder.
3) Put up the Royal Christmas Lights last night. I went outside to take a look to see if they hung well. Not even thinking about it as I was stringing them up I hung them up in the form of an "M". I guess it stands for Moronica so if you are driving around Gates and see a house with a big "M" in the window you may have located my Kingdom but keep driving as I am not signing autographs.
4) As I am typing this the population of Pominville has been upped to eight.
5) Today's entry in 'If they only had Twitter" features the famous last tweet of Mrs. O'Leary back in 1871.
6:15pm - Mrs. O'Leary - milker - "Getting ready for another night of pulling teats. Oh, crap. Bessy just knocked over a lantern. I better take care of it before it...oh oh..I gotta go...fast."
And so much for Mrs. O'Leary's last tweet and for a good chunk of Chicago too.
This is your King wishing you all to have a pleasant evening.

Moronican Sports Report...Oh Joy!!

This will probably bore everyone but your King has some comments about the recent happenings in the world of sports and if you are patient I think the new edition of 'If they only had Twitter' could be pretty good, but knowing me it will probably be el stinko, so here goes:
1) The Buffalo Sabres thoroughly disappointed your King this past Saturday when they played the Boston Bruins in Beantown. Milan Lucic decided to mash Sabre goalie Ryan Miller when he came out to clear away a puck. Lucic made no effort to avoid Miller and purposely lowered his shoulder into him in an attempt to turn out his lights. What really bothered me after the hit, for which Lucic only received a two minute minor and should have gotten a five minute major for an attempt to injure, was that the Sabres basically did nothing to defend their goalie. The Sabres turned into pussies for the rest of the game. I expected something to erupt but nothing did. That bothers me as Miller, though he has not played well lately, is a vital cog to the Sabres drive to the playoffs. To just let that hit go without nary a whimper from the team makes me wonder about this team's heart. Do they have one? Maybe we shall see the next time the play those asses from Boston.
2) The NBA's lockout continues. The players union vetoed the latest offer. Does anyone really care if the NBA ever plays again? Not I. If they never play again I will not miss it and hey, maybe it will open more dates in key arenas for tractor pulls. We can only hope, yeah right. Tractor pulls??? LOL!!!
3) The Bills laid a gigundous egg this past Sunday. I really believed they could give Dallas a game and actually beat them. Boy was your King wrong about that. They just plain stunk. It looks like opposing defenses have caught on to the Bills' short passing game offense. Not having a deep threat is killing the Bills right now. Fitzgerald did try to go deep once to with a throw to Spiller but the perfectly thrown ball fell incomplete when Spiller tripped over his shoelaces as the ball got to him. Pathetic.
4) Your King does have a few comments about the Penn State situation but I think I will save the majority for a full blog in the near future. All I will say right now that if I had my way Jerry Sandusky's member would be chopped off and burnt. The ass deserves the death penalty for what he has done to those kids. If I was the one who caught him in the shower that day he would not be around right now. More to come later.
5) OK here is, I hope, the bright spot of today's blog. In this edition of 'If they only had Twitter' we present the tweets of Captain Bligh from that infamous day. Let us hope I can do it justice and it would help if you knew a bit about what led up to the mutiny. For that I highly recommend the Charles Laughton movie version of 'Mutiny on the Bounty". Laughton was perfect for the role and gave Bligh life.
6:00am Captain Bligh - Bounty - "Hope I can get a decent days work out of the jackals today. Need to get these breadfruit trees back and quickly"
8:25am - Bligh - "I hear a ruckus amongst the rats, will find out and give them the cat-o-nine tails. That will quiet them down."
8:29am - Bligh- "Someone breaking into quarters."
9:48am - Bligh - "Set adrift in life raft by that mutinous dog Christian. I will hunt him down and see that he hangs from the highest yardarm!!"
9:49am - Fletcher Christian - reply- "I do not think so you fat pig, There ain't land for thousands of miles. Good bye and good riddance."
9:51am - Bligh - "Set me adrift will you Mr. Christian?? If you are still reading this I will see that you rot in hell."
9:52am - Christian - reply - "Better start having your pals get rowing fatty. You should too as it may help you lose weight. Besides, I am giving the crew an extra ration of cheese from your stash. And kiss your trees goodbye. They are getting tossed. LOL!!"
9:55am - Bligh - "You are a bastard Fletcher Christian. There will be no place on Earth where you will be safe from my wrath."
9:56 am - Christian - reply - "'Fat' chance. I hope your ipad battery runs out soon."
And so on and so forth the banter may have went, until Bligh's battery did run out. If they only had Twitter back then this could have been recorded for history but we shall never know exactly what was said between Fletcher Christian and Captain Bligh as Christian loaded him onto that lifeboat. Wish I could have made it a bit funnier. Oh well. This is your King wishing you a pleasant evening.

KING WINS!!! Well, Sort of.....

I guess I lied last week when I said that I had played my last round of golf. Mother Nature graced us with another nice weekend in this month of November. And we all know that November can be one of the gloomiest months in this neck of the woods. I played Saturday and had a rather consistent round with nothing special except for a birdie on fourteen. My score to hit right now is seventeen points and I ended up plus one, which for me at this time of year is not bad. Hondo won as he was the birdie king that day.
Sunday started out to be a nightmare. I looked like a monkey trying to hump a football on the front nine. Trying to again score seventeen points I ended up with a paltry four points at the turn. It was a pretty sad effort as I provided a lot of comic relief to my partners. Big Dave, needing to score 18 points made the turn at twelve so I was hopelessly behind.
Signs that my round may have been turning around began on eleven. It is a short par three and I ended up putting my tee shot into the deep vegetables well off to the right side of the green. After looking for it for a couple of minutes I finally found its hiding spot. It was well buried in the weeds but hittable. Not being able to take a practice shot I swung at it hard and popped it onto the green. Still made a bogey but I scored a point with a miracle shot. I played the very tough twelve well but threw away a par when I missed a short 6 footer. After butchering 13 I stood at seven points and pretty much had written off my last round of the year as a disaster.
Then it happened, a rally that is comparable to the Bills' comeback versus the Oilers many moons ago. I parred fourteen after missing a short birdie putt barely wide left. Parred my nemesis hole of the year number fifteen with a great eight foot putt and then, after getting my point total up to eleven the fireworks happened. Birdied sixteen for four big points and then parred seventeen for two even bigger points which, in itself, was a complete miracle as it is a very long par four playing into a very strong wind. I had cut Big Dave's lead down to two points. We both hit good tee shots on eighteen though mine did go about 40 yards farther. we both put our second shots just off the back of the green. I was only a foot off while Big Dave was about two yards off. He hit a brilliant chip shot to within tap in distance and got his par putting me down by four points. I was next facing a twenty five foot putt from off the green needing a four point birdie to tie him for the win. With what could only be described as a miracle, by the grace of the golf gods, I put my putt dead center of the cup and escaped the round with a plus four point total tieing Big Dave and splitting the pot with him!! I played the last five holes at 2 under par(should have been three) and scored fourteen huge points. I finished the round with a ninety with nine round scores of 51-39.  But the bird on eighteeen puts the big smile on my face that will last throughout this entire long winter we now have to suffer through. I look forward to April, hopefully, and a fresh golf season.
Also scored big by finding at least six nice Titleist Pro-V1 balls amongst the leaves this weekend. At four bucks a whack that almost paid for my rounds. I will mark them as my own and will probably give them back to the golf course gods early next year knowing me.
Now I know that my valued readers, all one or two of you, could give a hoot about my golf game but I enjoy writing about it as it does give my two fingers some exercise. This is your King thanking you for suffering through the reading of my golf crap. I promise more interesting stuff with my next pontification. Have a nice evening!

OMG!! It's Back!! Someone Please Put Me Out Of My Misery!!!

1) Why, oh Why I can only ask. Driving down 390 South yesterday near the airport I saw it again. Wegmans decided to bring back their sushi billboard featuring Moby Dick mouth. For those who have not read my previous blogs about this and are unfamiliar with this billboard it features some broad, with a mouth so big you can park a 747 in it, with pieces of sushi instead of eyes. It is probably THE most annoying billboard ever put up by anyone, even Pedro of South of the Border has better billboards than this. I try to avert my eyes whenever I pass this billboard but like a moth to a flame I have to look at it. This billboard has to go before it causes an accident.
2) Well the Bills lost today. I half expected it. The Jets just came off a bye and were well rested and they needed this game more than the Bills. The Bills play at Dallas next week. It is a game I believe they have a good chance at winning if they can harass Tony Romo enough as he will throw bad passes if bothered. We shall see.
3) Went golfing today, probably for the last time this season, and I did not play half bad. I actually had a few magic moments on the course. My chip in birdie on hole four was an absolute thing of beauty and I almost pulled off the same feat on fifteen. There my chip hit the flagstick solid and ended up a couple inches away from the hole. Still had too many bad holes but nothing worse than a double bogey on any hole. Overall not bad for having not played in almost a month due to weather, work and other commitments. Looking forward to next season. Maybe in March I will be able to go to Myrtle Beach for a golf vacation with some of the guys. I am the first alternate if the fourth backs out. I have now devoted myself to being a better golfer as I have completely retired from bowling. I miss my bowling buddies but I do NOT miss bowling.
4) In a little bit of a twist on my new segment "if they had Twitter" today I present 'famous last tweets'. Today we examine Abe Lincoln's possible last tweet.
2:47pm - Abraham Lincoln, President - "So much work to do but Mary bought tickets to a play at Ford's Theater tonight. I need to go to this play tonight like I need a hole in the head. Mary truly wants to go and I really do need a break. I hope its good."
I know, I know, I hear the booing already but hey, I am the King of Moronica so what do you expect from me? Pulitzer Prizes??
Well, fortunately for you I am going to keep this blog entry a bit short tonight. I am a bit tired after spending all afternoon, after coming home from golf, housecleaning. Looks like I really need to find a new Queen of Moronica soon. But not too soon. This is your King saying "Have a happy!!"

Royal Droppings

1) I was saddened to learn of the passing today of Andy Rooney. The poor guy finally retires to have some peace and quiet time and look what happens, he kicks off. One month into retirement no less. The last time that happened was to Alabama football coach Paul "Bear" Bryant. He retired and promptly died. Maybe Andy should have stayed employed?
2) Is there a stupider comment than what was uttered by conservative pundit Ann Coulter?? Talking about Herman Cain and other African-American GOP members Coulter stated "Our blacks are so much better than their blacks." OMG can you think of a statement made by someone more moronic than that??? I am sure if I thought about it I would but this one is tough to beat.
3) Staying on political rant detail nothing annoys me more than the commercial for the Monroe County Conservative Party that I have been hearing on the radio lately. They act as like they are putting out their own slate of candidates when they only endorse candidates of the other major parties, normally a vast majority of republicans. The commercial puts out a distinct holier than thou attitude that just turns me off completely. The commercial then starts espousing the individual rights that they back unless, of course, you do not toe the conservative values. Heaven forbid if you are gay as they want gay marriage gone. Also they state that they are against the "Occupy Protesters". Isn't it an American right to be able to protest? Last time I heard you had the right. While I may not agree with everything that they are protesting about they have the right to do it, conservatives be damned!! They piss me off and I am a moderate!!! PS: The Liberals can take a hike too.
4) It was an absolutely gorgeous day today. Went down to Geneseo today to have my ears lowered by the Royal Barber and ran into the Philippine Ambassador to Geneseo who was also getting his ears lowered. It was good to see him again after so many years. Ambassador HopSing has not changed a bit and he is always a hoot to be with.
5) It is now time for the next installment of "If they only had Twitter". We are now going to examine a day in the life of George Armstrong Custer if he had twitter.
5:35am - George Custer, General - "Woke the boys up. Looks like a beautiful day. Going to patrol Southern Montana today."
11:00am - George Custer - "Just entered the Little Big Horn Valley. The countryside is absolutely beautiful."
12:30pm - George Custer - "Where did all of those F-----g indians come from????
1:23pm - George Custer - "Arrow in ass, hurts, but not as much as arrow in shoulder."
1:30pm - George Custer - "looks liikkeesj....."
2:17pm - George Custer - "Looks like big blond chief leaveum twitter account open. He now missing scalp along with ipad. Victory party at Sitting Bull's tonight. Me promise naked squaws dancing."
Again, these Twitter entries are only hypothetical, but then again, who knows how it would have been. This is only your King's version of the attack at Little Big Horn on Twitter.
6) Looking forward to one last day of golf tomorrow. Should be warm enough to actually enjoy it. Today was just too chilly to attempt it though it was beautiful outside. Stopped at the Country Club to enjoy their steamed clams in Bayou broth one last time before winter. It sucks that the next time I may play will be April, that is if I am lucky and the stupid weather will cooperate next year. April and May sucked donkeys this year and I certainly do not want a repeat of that nonsense again. Hell, I couldn't mow my entire lawn until June it was so bloody wet in my back yard. May the golf gods shine down on us next April!!
Well, this is enough garbage for tonight. This is your King wishing you a pleasant evening. Go Sabres...and Bills!!!

Meanderings from your Monarch

1) The judge has finally decided that Lindsey Lohan will be spending 30 days in the clink for her transgressions. She needs to spend a lot more. How many chances would you and I have gotten if we did what she has been doing?? A lot more time than that. For her continued stupidity she is a stellar representative of all that is moronic, therefore Lindsey Lohan has now been enshrined as the sixteenth member of the Moronica Hall of Fame. As you know the MHOF honors those that exemplify the finer points of being a moron and Lindsey far and away exceeds the standard qualifications that are required for enshrinement. So if you happen to see Lindsey, or visit her while she is spending 30 days in the hole, please tell her of her enshrinement and the honor of which that has been bestowed upon her.
2) The Bills were impressive against the Redskins(how I hate that nickname) last Sunday in Toronto. Nine sacks for the defense and very few yards given up. Too bad it was against a bunch of subs. This week's game against the Jets will be more telling of where the Bills are at. Let us hope that they are up to this challenge.
3) The NBA is still locked out. Does anyone really care?????
4) I saw a commercial for Seneca Niagara Casino earlier today. It featured lots of pretty women gambling. I have been to this casino a few times and I have yet to see any of these pretty women gambling. All the women I see are rather old, overweight, smoking or just plain butt ugly and have their asses PLANTED on a slot stool. That is until the buffet line opens up and then look out. It is a stampede. People unfortunate enough to be between them and the buffet have been injured, some seriously. The commercial should be banned as it is not a true reflection of the casino's patrons.
Number five will be a new feature presented by your King whenever I happen to give my random ramblings. You can thank requests from from avid readers of my blog for this but they seemed to have enjoyed my "if people had access to Twitter" when they were alive in regards to Captain Harris of the Titanic from the last blog. So in the future you will see, and read, potential tweets from historical figures, fictional characters and maybe even a body part or two. It all depends upon what my sick imagination comes up with. So I now present "Twitter of the Moronic" for your reading pleasure.
5) Can you imagine if Don Juan had a twitter account. Let us see how that would read, again in english and not twitterese.
10:05pm - Don Juan, Stud - "Bonked Maria"
10:27pm - Don Juan - "Bonked Linda"
11:07pm - Don Juan - "Bonked Katerina"
11:31pm - Don Juan - "Bonked Pedro, Pedro was dressed like Pedrina when I picked 'her' up and I did not realize it until it was too late. Oh, well, a little variety never hurt"
11:58pm - Don Juan - "Bonked Elena"
12:35am - Don Juan - "Bonked Margarita"
And so on and so forth. We can only imagine the rest of Don's night as he was a bonking machine though I cannot imagine him using the word bonk but we do need to keep things clean.
That is enough garbage for tonight. This is your King wishing you a pleasant evening.

Your King Says "Twitter is for Twits"

As you can tell from the title of today's garbage I am not a fan of Twitter. I really do not care what people say from moment to moment in their silly little lives. Blogs are a bit different because it is usually a bit more of an article, not someone tweeting that they just took a dump and it felt great. A blog requires a bit of thought, a very small bit if you ask people about my blogging, but still a bit of thought. Twitter is for people who think that their every moment through life should be recorded for all to read about. Frankly. I could care less.
Let us look at the Weather Channel for instance. They now have something called Weather Channel Social  on their website where people can tweet about the weather. Here are a couple of samples from that site:
From Abdul in Phoenix, AZ: "It is hot again outside".
From Nanook in Barrow, AK: "It is cold again outside".
Boy, I cannot live without information like that, can you? I turn the channel whenever that segment comes on. They can keep it.
Can you imagine if they had Twitter during the time of the Titanic? I can just see the tweets, in English and not Twitterese, now:
10:00 p.m. - Captain Harris, Titanic: "Really a clear, dark night tonight, still going full speed. Looking to set record for crossing. Leaving Lightholler in charge and going off duty".
1:00 a.m. - Captain Harris: "Struck something large and white. No problem as this boat cannot be sunk. Quick check and we will be cruising again".
2:45 a.m. - Captain Harris: " Umm, I think I was wrong. Looks like we will be having sand for breakfast. Very cold water now up to my knees and climbing fast. I do not think we will not be setting a record this trip".
3:00 a.m. - Captain Harris: "glub, glub, glub........"
Now, I admit, the stuff I wrote above is sheer nonsense but that is what you get with Twitter, other people's droppings that they want to spread around the world. Athlete's tweets are the most annoying. I could care less about what someone, who is paid a bazillion dollars a year to play a stupid game, says. Most tweets from athletes are just random nonsense and others are just plain stupid. Maybe their tweets are a reflection of all of the head trauma that they have received over the years from the playing of their sport. But then how do explain the tweets from the weather twits? More head trauma?? Must be.
Well the Sabres are about to face off and I have spoken my piece about the silliness of Twitter. This is your King wishing you a pleasant evening. Jeez, the Sabres scored two quick goals while I was reviewing this stupid blog. Now I will go and watch and they won't score again, just you see!!!

More Garbage from the Fingers of Your King

1) Walter Casper is back in prison where he belongs but for how long? He had his long sentence reduced on a stupid technicality and was released way too soon in 2009. All this did was create more grief for the family of his murdered wife. He was recently arrested for a parole violation. I hope this sticks as it will send him back to the hoosegow for another four years. Still far too short for the murder of his wife. Sometimes the Justice System baffles me.
2) The Bills are 4-2 heading into their bye week. I was originally hoping for 2-4 or even 1-5 at the start of the year. Their defense still sucks but they have a decent offense. They are so much more fun to watch than at any time during Mr. Mind's reign of error to which we have them to thank for the likes of ex-bill Aaron Maybin. He was probably THE worst pick ever by the Bills.
3) Has my blog partner Repoman died or what??? He has not posted anything for months. My life is dull without having the opportunity to comment on his conservative muses. Some of which I agree with, some of which I am ambivalent on and some I find just plain, well, crazy. It is just no fun without him.
4) Why does God's gift to radio, Rush Limbaugh blame everything on Barack Obama?? Yes, the country is in a mess but eight years of George Bush helped get us there. The biggest mistake ever made was George's tax cuts. While his heart was in the right place he must have lost his economic mind when he signed these into law. It is nice to have a little extra cash to spend but you just do NOT cut taxes when you are fighting a war, let alone two wars. It just does not make any economic sense to have done this. Now the government runs a huge deficit and unemployment is not going down but it is all Obama's fault according to the Pillar of Conservative Society. While I do agree that the first stimulus package was pretty much a farce and was largely misspent something must be done to jump start the economy correctly. Obama's current jobs package, that he is pushing to get passed, funds teachers and cops for one year but who pays for these new hires after one year? God? Warren Buffet? Warren Buffet's secretary? Who? I think people would like to know and, man I hate saying this but, Rush is right on this package. OUCH!! Do we want to go back to the policies Rush wants or do we stick with what Obama wants?? The answer is somewhere in the middle but neither side seems willing to accept that. The Clods! We need manufacturing jobs, not shovel ready jobs that when completed you have people sitting on their hands again. How many times can they pave Elmgrove Road?? The repaved it two years ago, with first stimulus money, and they just repaved a part of it, that was repaved then, again this year. Money well spent I say!!! Right.
5) The Sabres are off to a decent start this year. They have three wins in four games. Last year they had nine losses to go with their three wins. They are spending money and I hope they have spent it well. They have a few nice new pieces and I am hoping that they help get us that elusive Cup. Man would I go nuts if the Sabres ever get it.
6) Looking into the Royal back yard all I see is a layer of leaves waiting to get raked. Last weekend's windstorm helped knock a bunch down but when that first freeze hits it will be good night nurse. It is dark now and it is the best my back yard has looked, since I can't see it, since last Tuesday when I mowed the pricks into mulch. Can't do it this time. I can feel the pain growing now. UGH!!
Well, I think I have bored you valued readers long enough. And I do value everyone who reads my drivel. I wish you all, whether you agree with your King or not, a pleasant evening.

Scientists Report Discovery of Gay Squid

Yes, In Sunday's Buffalo News Science section it was reported that scientists have found a male squid species that likes to mate with fellow males. The squid in question is called the Octopoteuthis deletron. It is a deep seas species found in the eastern Pacific and they are noted as being difficult to find as they like living in the world of little light, usually withing sea closets. Males of this genus, when exited by a fellow male squid, use their long terminal organ to transfer a complex packet of squid giz onto their fellow male's body with the packets remaining attached, once used, to it's partners body providing evidence of mating. Scientists say that it is obvious that when male squids of this genus play tentacles with each other they start getting hot for each other and cannot help themselves when their terminal organ starts getting excited. The only logical conclusion is that the males of this genus are mainly gay.
Our favorite radio personality, Rush Limbaugh, chimed in with his two cents worth about this earlier. He said, in other words, "I always knew that certain sponges and starfish were probably gay but I never would have suspected squid being gay. I can only blame the Obama regime for ending the 'don't ask, don't squeeze' policy for squid. Now when I go out into the ocean for a swim and I feel a tentacle I just hope that when I get out of the water I do not see a complex packet attached to me." He also later stated "That I, being the Conservative Pillar of Society, can only say that a good Octopoteuthis deletron is calamari."

Your King on Evolution

I read a letter to the editor in Saturday's, 10-1-11, Democrat and Chronicle that I just have to comment on. It is titled "Evolution theory is just a fairy tale". For your edification I will quote it and then comment:

"In the beginning was the "Big Bang". No one knows why it blew up. Life, in all its glory, developed here and no one knows how. Now, these brilliant men of science want me to believe we are nothing more than intelligent animals, and if I don't agree, I'm an idiot! I thumb my nose at those self-appointed keepers of the truth.  Due to a lack of transitional fossils, there are quite a few people who think the evolution theory is nothing more than a fairy tale for adults. If you repeat a lie long enough it becomes the truth."

In the first few sentences he is right, no one really knows why the Big Bang occurred. There are plenty of theories but we may never ascertain the answer. In regards to life the scientists pretty much have a handle on how life developed here and have recreated the conditions of the primordial Earth in their labs and have created amino acids, the building blocks of life, from their experiments. The thing is we are animals, intelligent animals, but animals none the less. You cannot change that fact no matter how much you do not want to believe that fact. In that case the writer is not an idiot, just ignorant. Obviously he keeps a blind eye to the news as more transitional fossils have been found very recently in Africa. Now there may be three reasons why we do not have more transitional fossils and they are:
1) The rock layers they are embedded in have not yet been exposed.
2) The rock layers that they were in have been eroded away and destroyed. or
3) The transitional species may have inhabited an area which was not conducive to fossil formation.
Any one of these three reasons are enough to hinder research into the evolution of our species.
Now what fairy tale does the writer believe in?? Does he believe in the "Poof" theory? That chain of thought, as I cannot bring myself to call this a theory, starts with some all powerful being, POOF, creating the Earth in seven days. Then, POOF, the garden of Eden is created. Then, POOF, this all powerful being created man. Then, POOF, this all powerful being took a rib from man and created woman. Then, POOF, there was this talking snake that peddled apples to the them. Then, POOF, they were expelled from this garden of Eden for partaking the apple and the story continues. And yes, your King was taught this 'Poof" chain of thought when he was young so it is not like I do not have a background in this. In fact I believe that this gives me a special expertise to comment on it.
Now which story would you rather believe?? The miracle of the process of evolution, and I do not call it a theory as the facts are in the rocks, or do you wish to believe in the 'Poof' chain of thought? My friends, the choice is yours. The fact that we evolved to where we are today is the real miracle. Evolution is not a fairy tale nor is it a lie, it is science and, as proven by the writer of that letter, some choose to not believe in science. That is their prerogative and right as it is my right to comment on said letter the way I have. As the King of Moronica I found the letter to be moronic and I had to say my piece on what I believe in whether you agree with me or not that is your right.
Well the Bills game is about to kick off so I must end this for today. May you all have a great day, even though the weather outside is a total mess.

Your King Rants on the ACLU and Applauds another Terrorist Being Sent to Hell

A U.S. drone took out a major target in Yemen this week. The american born, and I hope I get this right, Anwar El Alaqi was taken out. Listening to the radio today I was hearing comments from the ACLU that this guy, since he was american born, should not have been killed and should have been given his day in court. Well, your King says PISS on the ACLU. Once this jerk joined Al Qeada he became an enemy combatant and subject to obliteration if located. He was located and obliterated and rightly so. To me it is once less prick that is alive in this world and I hope that all of those terrorists realize that we are eventually going to find them and when we do we will drop a drone, or some Navy Seals, on them too. The ACLU should keep their mouths shut when it comes to taking out a terrorist no matter where he may have been born. He picked the team he wanted to play for and became a major player for them. Once he did that he lost any rights, that the ACLU claims he should have been afforded, for his day in court. 2011 has been a very good year for the decimation of high level terrorists. Bin Laden is gone and now this guy has been sent packing. Now if we can only get the rest of them. Your King has spoken!

Your King Demands the Death Penalty for Mark Christie

If there is anyone in New York State that deserves the death penalty it is Mark Christie. This guy is a total sociopath who has, far as I know, 2 murders on his hands and probably more. What really sucks is that this guy is only 39 years old so he will be getting his room and board paid for by the taxpayers of this state for a good long time. He just plead guilty to the killing of an old lady today, a crime he committed when he was 16. It was a crime where some poor innocent sap got railroaded, forced into a confession, and spent 18 years in prison for the crime this bastard committed. He was a suspect for that crime when it was committed but the police did not want to really look at the evidence because they thought they had their man and boy were they wrong. It turns out that Kailie Poulton paid for the police's rush to judgment when she was killed by Christie eighteen years ago. She was only four years old at the time. Again, suspicion was not on Christie but was focused on her dad. Boy were the police wrong again. That poor man suffered the indignation of losing his daughter and being suspected of her death all the while Mark Christie was still free. How Christie was able to deflect suspicion off himself was amazing when evidence pointed towards his guilt. But somehow, despite the police's bumbling, he was finally caught and convicted.
I do not want my tax dollars paying for this jerk's jailtime. I want this creep executed but alas that will not happen bacause the court has ruled that New York State's version of the death penalty as unconstitutional. It is not like he has a chance to be reformed and return to the community. This guy will never see the outside of prison walls again and he deserves more than that. He deserves to sit on Old Sparky and have it turned all the way up to deep fry. I would even volunteer to pay for the juice used during the deep frying if only we could do that here in New York.
Well that is my rant for tonight as it just pains me to see that this guy will be fed and housed for the rest of his life on our dime.

Your Monarch Pontificates!!

1) Played golf this weekend. Nothing special about either round. Saturday I pointed on all but one hole but only finished +2. A couple of better holes and I would have won but I just couldn't score big. Pretty much played bogey golf throughout the round. For the most part I didn't have those killer holes that usually ruin a round except for my great 8 on fifteen but still managed to shoot 89. Sunday started off great as I had 10 points after 5 holes but then I crashed and burned and finished at -2 for the round. Only 7 points on the last thirteen holes and boy did that deflate me. Later, in the clubhouse known as the Nines Restaurant, I ordered my first plate of steamed clams in bayou broth with ciabbata(close but definitely not the right spelling) bread. I had never ordered any kind of steamed clams before but one of my friends ordered this the week before and it looked, and smelled good. I would much rather have my clams chowdered but I can definitely make a habit of this. If I had the recipe for the broth I would steam my own clams. Maybe someday.
2) The Bills!!! That is all I have to say. Well, maybe not. When I left the clubhouse on Sunday to head home the Patriots had a 14-0 lead so I figured by the time I got home it would probably be 35-0. I was wrong. Down by 21 points the Bills did it again with another great comeback. Down by 18 to Oakland and then by more to the Evil Empire only to end up winning??? Wow. Let us hope they can keep it up. They are so much more fun to watch now than they were when Mr. Mind was coach. I always said that Chan Gailey was a good coach and now I have to say that Ryan Fitzpatrick is more than a serviceable quarterback. He can only get better the more he plays and we do not have to dream about drafting Andrew Luck anymore.
3) Is there a worse coach than Norv Turner?? To take the talent the Chargers have and turn it into mediocrity takes a special person and Norv is that special person. Mr. Mind could do better with the Chargers than Norv. Why the Chargers owner keeps this guy around is beyond me.
4) Here in Rochester we are supposed to get a taste of November this Saturday. The temperature won't get out of the 40s that day. It just so happens to be the day of the calm bake at the Livingston Country Club. Figures.
5) My third Monday night passed without bowling this year. It feels so good not to have that weekly snippet of death driving me nuts. I do not know if the team is even bowling this year as no one bothered to call me. The place is still erect(how I do not know) as I have driven by it a few times this summer. It is just as well that I am not bowling with my shoulder probably being arthritic or well on its way to that stage. Maybe soon I will drive over the canal with my equipment, stop and let 'er fly and that will be the most fun I will have had with my equipment in years.
6) Rush Limbaugh is a Bombastic Blowhard. Oops, I have said that in my previous two blogs so I do not want to get repetitive.
7) I watched the new Jeff Dunham special on the Comedy Channel this past Sunday. Too much Achmed and not enough Walter and Peanut. Still he is a very funny guy. He is coming to the area in January and maybe I will get the chance to go see him live. It is always more fun to attend a show live and not suffer through those stupid 'bleeps'. Hey, I play golf so I know all of the words and then some.
Well, that is enough boring garbage for tonight. I may as well sign off and watch the telly. This is your King wishing you a pleasant evening.

More Mumblings from your Monarch!

1) It may be early but Your King is liking Mitt Romney more and more if he gets nominated by the GOP. The only way I would not vote for him would be if the Dems dumped Obama and nominated Hilary. I really do like her as she is a smart gal but, alas, that will not happen. Something has to be done and soon. Today's stock market plunge is another sign that we are heading into the toilet again.
2) Listened to the 'Gods gift to radio' again today. Why I listen to Rush I do not know. Today this bombastic blowhard came out against school lunch programs. Looking at his belly it is obvious he ate well as a kid but why scrap programs that help feed underprivileged children? Oh that is right, unless you are rich and well off he could give a hoot about you. God I hate that man but he does make me laugh when he spouts his ultra conservative garbage as I take his nonsense as comic relief. Now, do not get me wrong, I am for putting a leash on government spending but not at the cost of ending programs that give needy children good, nutritious school lunches that their parents are unable to afford. This guy is a peach. If his heart doctors ever gave this egotistical prick an EKG it would probably come out as a straight line as he has no heart.
3) The Tea Party Republicans in Congress voted against the new budget. It seems the new budget included an extra $24 billion dollars for FEMA for disaster relief which they did not like. It looks like they want FEMA to return to the Pre-Katrina level that left FEMA as a laughing stock as Brownie did not do a helluva job. With tropical storms Irene and Lee leaving the Eastern U.S. a mess I guess these representitives do not come from any of the districts that were left in ruins by the flooding from these storms. They too have no heart. FEMA needs this money to do a proper job. Funding for FEMA should not be a political football.
4) Man, long ago I swore off doing political rants on my blog but I just cannot help it lately. The economy blows. Unemployment sucks. Obama's sucking eggs. But, at least, Bin Laden is dead! Good riddance.
5) I have decided to retire again from bowling. First of all I cannot stand it but most of all my shoulder is getting too arthritic. I need it for another 30+ years so for the good of my shoulder I must give it up. It throbbed for days after a night of heaving the ball at Bedrock and by the time it felt good again it was time to bowl again. It does ache a bit after golf but nothing like after a night of bowling. Besides, it likes to make lots of funny scrunching noises now. Oh well, that is getting old for you.
6) Even though Fall is my favorite season I am not looking forward to the future rake jobs that will need to be done in my back yard when my royal forest starts puking leaves. The trees seem to be extra leafy this year thanks to the extra wet spring we had. The record for leaf piles in my back yard, for a single raking, was set last year during the third rake job. The number of piles that had to be hauled out to the road was nine, NINE!! These were not small piles either as they filled the 8x12 foot tarp that I used to drag the buggers out to the curb. I can feel the pain now.
Well, while I did not really want to write anything tonight I need to force myself to get back on the horse. I have been very lazy doing this nonsense lately and I do want to make my voice heard. You may not agree with your King, and that is your right, but it is my right to spout my opinions. This is not Iran. We may be governed by idiots but, at least, we are not ruled by kooks. This is your King wishing you a pleasant evening.

Mumblings From Your King

1) Well, after golfing better and better lately your King had, what you could say was, a Dow Jones correction event this past weekend. On Saturday it looked like I had never held a club before in my life and I dropped three points off my score. It went from 22 down to 19. That hurt after working so hard to better my score. Sunday was better but I did not score well except for a nice birdie on 14. Had some opportunities but wasted too many shots but still almost equaled my point requirement. A few more scoring holes and I would have won but alas. Oh well there is always this weekend.
2) I had the Royal Mutt this past weekend for visitation. God, how I miss that dog!! It was like she had never left. She 'talked' to me exactly the way she used to and she still knows her boundaries in the yard thanks to the invisible fence I had. She was even nice enough to take a nap during the last hour of the Bills game. Now that is a great dog!!!
3) Speaking of the Bills they are now 2-0 with a freight train called the New England Patriots looming for them this weekend. The comeback against Oakland was special and if they keep playing like they did in the second half of that game who knows? Still I think a .500 season would be a great season for them. Fitzpatrick makes the offense fun to watch. He may not have the pedigree but he seems to be a good QB.
4) I have been listening to Rush Limbaugh lately on the radio as time seems to fly faster during the work day listening to talk radio instead of music. Now, let me ask you is there a more egotistical bag of wind than this guy? He claims he is 'God's gift to radio' and he definitely has delusions of grandeur!! This guy twists and turns everything President Obama says about anything. He is so full of hate about the man it is incredible. His show is three hours of I hate Obama rhetoric.  While I have been disappointed in President Obama's work during his term, and with Congress I have an even greater disappointment with, I will probably vote for him again. The only GOP candidate I could even think about voting for would be Mitt Romney if he is nominated. And I probably would go in that direction if it was a Obama-Romney battle. But I digress so it is back to that bag of hot air, Rush. The man is so far to the right he even dislikes moderates. Now I am a moderate and take offense to a lot of what this bombastic blowhard says. If it was up to him air would be unbreathable, water undrinkable, oil wells popping up everywhere, the rich becoming richer and the poor, poorer and so on. His stance on global warming is unbelievable! The big thing about global warming is the melting of the Greenland icecap. Runoff from the icecap is fresh water and it flows into the Labrador current. Now fresh water is less dense than salt water so if enough fresh water infiltrates the Labrador current it could cut off the Gulf Stream leading to another possible ice age. It is possible in our time my friends!
Now there is one thing I do agree with this Fountain of Misinformation and that is there needs to be a full investigation of the one half billion dollars that was 'loaned' to that solar energy company, Sylindra I think, as they got that large amount of cash and two years later they file bankruptcy and laid off their entire workforce. Where did all of that money go??? Rush demands an investigation and so does your King.
Well I think your King has successfully irritated enough of my right wing friends for the night so I had better end this written farce now. Have a pleasant evening!!